Latest / Fostering Faith / Healthy God-Centered Friendships: Building Relationships That Glorify Jesus

Transcript

Healthy God-Centered Friendships: Building Relationships That Glorify Jesus · Fostering Faith

• 0:00
  Welcome back to Fostering Faith, and we are in
• 0:03
  our second week of February. And so we are so
• 0:07
  thankful that you guys are tuning in. If you
• 0:10
  are new to Fostering Faith, we are here just
• 0:12
  fostering our faith together as a community and
• 0:14
  figuring it out together because we are better
• 0:17
  together. And if you are returning listener to
• 0:19
  Fostering Faith, welcome back home this week.
• 0:21
  And so this episode, we are going to be calling
• 0:23
  it. healthy, God -centered friendships. And so,
• 0:27
  friendships are one of the greatest gifts God
• 0:29
  can give us, but they are also in one of the
• 0:32
  greatest places of hurt, confusion, disappointment,
• 0:36
  and growth. And let's be honest, most of us learned
• 0:39
  more about friendships through trial and error
• 0:42
  than through intentional discipleship. We've
• 0:45
  learned through getting our feelings hurt, through
• 0:48
  being left out, through betrayal, through growing
• 0:52
  apart. through unmet expectations, and through
• 0:56
  seasons where we didn't feel like we belonged
• 0:58
  anywhere. But God -designed, God -centered friendships
• 1:03
  look different. They're not just social connections,
• 1:07
  they're spiritual investments. They're kingdom
• 1:10
  friendships with purpose written on them. And
• 1:13
  we have Proverbs 13 -20 that says, Walk with
• 1:16
  the wise and become wise, for a companion of
• 1:19
  fools suffers harm. Meaning the people that you
• 1:22
  walk with will shape the person that you become
• 1:25
  friendships are not neutral They're forming you
• 1:28
  constantly their influence has value your decisions
• 1:32
  your desires your standards your faith your future
• 1:35
  And that's why we have said it so many times
• 1:38
  on this podcast that friendships friends your
• 1:42
  inner circle the people your tribe connections
• 1:45
  really are so so important, I think that there's
• 1:48
  like a A caveat saying like, you know, show me
• 1:52
  your five closest friends and I'll show you where
• 1:53
  you're going And that's why it's just so important
• 1:56
  that we are so selective of who that we have
• 1:59
  in our life We did an episode on friendship.
• 2:01
  I think it was one of the very first ones that
• 2:03
  we had our friends Nicole and Adele on and Just
• 2:08
  just pivotal moments of friendships are so so
• 2:11
  good for you to have and so they they influence
• 2:16
  a lot of things without you even realizing it.
• 2:19
  And this is why God cares so deeply about relationships
• 2:21
  that you allow to speak into your life. Godly
• 2:24
  friendships sharpen you and ungodly friendships
• 2:26
  will dull you. The neutral friendships eventually
• 2:30
  shift one way or any other. And let me tell you
• 2:32
  something that it took me years to learn not
• 2:36
  all friendships are covenant friendships. Some
• 2:40
  people are seasonal. Some people are transitional.
• 2:44
  Some people are scaffolding. others for support
• 2:47
  while God is building something in you, but not
• 2:51
  meant to remain forever. And, you know, in our
• 2:55
  women's ministry, I had Vicki, and she really
• 2:59
  just taught me this saying, you know, reasons,
• 3:01
  seasons, and lifetimes. And so there's reasons
• 3:04
  why people in your life, there's seasons why
• 3:05
  people in your life, and then there's lifetime
• 3:07
  people that are there in your life. And so, you
• 3:09
  know, there's reasons, seasons, and lifetimes.
• 3:11
  And so it's not betrayal. It's not abandonment.
• 3:15
  That's God's design. Because if everyone stays
• 3:18
  and you'll never grow, if no one leaves, you
• 3:22
  don't mature. Some friendships are pruning moments
• 3:26
  and not punishment. God knows who we need in
• 3:29
  our life and who we don't. And sometimes the
• 3:32
  gift is not who God brings, but it's who God
• 3:36
  removes. And I mean, it may be in a season right
• 3:40
  now where you're like, I'm going this way, they're
• 3:43
  going that way and it just feels like there's
• 3:46
  just really no connection. Is God removing them?
• 3:49
  Is God trying to prune you? Is God doing something
• 3:52
  and you're just like holding on and you know,
• 3:55
  like you know that that relationship's toxic.
• 3:57
  You know that this is not a biblical based relationship
• 4:00
  and you just don't know how to to let go. Sometimes
• 4:03
  he will remove those people from you and he'll
• 4:06
  bring in the strangest people and you end up
• 4:09
  being best friends. And so don't judge a book
• 4:12
  by its cover, but get to know those that are
• 4:15
  in front of you. But here's also the beauty in
• 4:18
  friendships. God does establish in your life
• 4:21
  those kingdom relationships that sharpen your
• 4:23
  faith, that challenge your mind, that speak life
• 4:26
  into your calling, that pull you out of discouragement,
• 4:30
  pray over you with fire, and hold you accountable
• 4:33
  in love. Proverbs 27 17 says, iron sharpens iron,
• 4:36
  so no person sharpens another. But you also have
• 4:40
  to remember ironing sharpen iron means friction.
• 4:45
  It means resistance. It means uncomfortable moments
• 4:47
  where someone who loves you enough that says,
• 4:51
  hey, I think you're off here or I don't see Jesus
• 4:55
  in that direction or decision or you're settling.
• 5:03
  You're called higher than what you're settling
• 5:05
  for. Re -resist because it confronts our pride.
• 5:10
  But healthy friendships require honesty, not
• 5:13
  brutally honest, holy honesty. Honesty with love,
• 5:19
  maturity, humility, kindness. Fake friends flatter,
• 5:27
  and godly friends strengthen. Fake friends tolerate
• 5:30
  your dysfunction. Godly friends help you heal.
• 5:35
  Fake friends avoid conflict. Godly friends work
• 5:38
  through it. Healthy friendships are not perfect,
• 5:42
  but they are intentional and they are safe. They
• 5:45
  are anchored in Christ. They call you out in
• 5:49
  what's the best that's in you. And you can't
• 5:53
  even see it yourself. And we talk about what
• 5:57
  we bring to relationships too. So many people
• 6:00
  pray for good friends without praying, Lord,
• 6:03
  make me a good friend. Because healthy friendships
• 6:06
  aren't just found, they're formed. They're built
• 6:10
  through consistency, vulnerability, forgiveness,
• 6:15
  humility, and shared pursuit of God. One of the
• 6:21
  biggest friendship killers is unrealistic expectations.
• 6:24
  When you demand someone else to meet your emotional
• 6:27
  needs that only God can fill, you will crush
• 6:30
  a friendship, and or a marriage for that matter,
• 6:33
  with pressure that It was never meant to carry.
• 6:37
  God -centered friendships flow from God -centered
• 6:39
  identity, meaning the healthier you are in Jesus,
• 6:43
  the healthier friendships can be. And so I often
• 6:47
  we talk about Nicole on this podcast. We talked
• 6:50
  about my husband on this podcast and, you know,
• 6:53
  just several different things. And so it is about
• 6:56
  a consistency. And so Nicole lives a very busy
• 6:59
  life. I live a very busy life. I am recording
• 7:01
  this podcast months in advance. just because
• 7:06
  I like to say on schedule. And we're gonna try
• 7:09
  something different this year. And so this is
• 7:11
  being taped. We just got done with Thanksgiving.
• 7:15
  And so this is where I'm heading is just to try
• 7:18
  to be ahead of the game. And so, you know, consistency
• 7:21
  is... something that we try to do in our friendship.
• 7:26
  I consistently show up at her shop because she's
• 7:28
  busy, I'm busy, her kids are in junior high,
• 7:31
  mine is now transitioned to high school and so
• 7:33
  our schedules never match up. But consistently
• 7:36
  I will show up at her shop because it's in town
• 7:39
  and I work in town and so after I get off work.
• 7:41
  Usually on the weekend, I will go up there and
• 7:44
  we can have our date because that's the only
• 7:46
  really time that we get to physically see each
• 7:47
  other and we're vulnerable. And there's been
• 7:50
  times that we've had to forgive each other. We
• 7:54
  have humility, but we are so focused on Christ.
• 7:59
  He that's the center. I mean, and so we are often
• 8:01
  sending each other podcasts or scriptures or
• 8:04
  verses. And it's just just it's so refreshing.
• 8:08
  to have a Christ -like friendship and just even
• 8:15
  having a marriage. I mean, so consistency and
• 8:18
  vulnerability and forgiveness and humility. I
• 8:20
  mean, that if you are trying to put and make
• 8:24
  your husband or your best friend be a God, it's
• 8:28
  going to fail every time. And can we talk about
• 8:32
  jealousy for a moment? Because comparison kills
• 8:34
  friendships faster than conflict. When you're
• 8:38
  confident in God's calling for your life, you
• 8:42
  celebrate others instead of competing with them.
• 8:45
  Real friendships aren't threatened by someone
• 8:47
  else's success, someone else's reason, someone
• 8:50
  else's blessings. Godly friends clap when you
• 8:54
  win, and they pray when you lose. They will stand
• 8:58
  whenever you fall. They will lift you whenever
• 9:01
  you're weak. They don't sabotage. They don't
• 9:05
  gossip. They don't talk about you behind your
• 9:08
  back. And they don't always walk away when things
• 9:11
  get messy. But I also want to acknowledge the
• 9:14
  pain of some of you that you may feel. Some friendships
• 9:18
  ended without closure. Some people ghosted you.
• 9:22
  Some walked away during the hardest season. Some
• 9:25
  betrayed you. Some replaced you. And it hurt
• 9:30
  deeply. But I want you to hear this. Not every
• 9:35
  loss is a wound. Some loses our answers to prayers
• 9:41
  that you forgot you prayed for. You ask God to
• 9:45
  protect your peace. You ask God to remove distractions.
• 9:51
  You ask God for people who push you closer to
• 9:53
  him. And sometimes the removal is the protection.
• 10:00
  Let God heal the places where friendships broke
• 10:02
  you. Let him restore your self -worth. Let him
• 10:06
  renew your confidence. Let him teach you how
• 10:09
  to trust again, not blindly, but wisely. Healthy
• 10:15
  friendships aren't rushed. They're built slowly,
• 10:19
  intentionally, patiently, and with communication
• 10:22
  and spiritual alignment. And so before we close,
• 10:27
  I want to give you three signs of godly, centered
• 10:29
  friends. One, they move you closer to God. They
• 10:34
  inspire your faith and not weaken it. They speak
• 10:39
  truth with love. They care more about your soul
• 10:43
  than your approval. If you don't have someone
• 10:46
  checking you and if you're doing something honorary
• 10:48
  that is not God honoring and if they don't call
• 10:51
  you out on it, I would check to see where you
• 10:55
  guys are headed. They stay consistent. Not perfect,
• 11:00
  but they're steady. And so we hope this message
• 11:03
  encourage you. Send it to your best friend. Send
• 11:05
  it to a person that you feel has potential to
• 11:08
  be a God -centered friend. And look who's around
• 11:12
  you. Who does God need to remove from your life?
• 11:14
  Who do you need to walk away from? Is God telling
• 11:16
  you to walk away and you keep opening the door?
• 11:18
  Start praying for hot handles. I pray for closed
• 11:21
  doors and hot handles. Like because I'm that
• 11:23
  honoree is that I will just try and keep going
• 11:25
  through a door that God has closed. and with
• 11:29
  friendships, relationships with people that you
• 11:32
  would have never even met. I ask God to put my
• 11:34
  name on people's hearts and that way we can come
• 11:37
  together and just have beautiful friendships
• 11:39
  that would have never been made because it's
• 11:41
  something that we never knew that we had in common.
• 11:44
  But he will open up doors, he will put people
• 11:45
  in front of you that need to be in your life.
• 11:48
  And in seasons where you have just maybe been
• 11:51
  alone, you feel forgotten and God is preparing
• 11:54
  you because he needs to be the center of everything.
• 11:58
  With every relationship, every marriage, every
• 12:00
  financial decision, every job, he needs to be
• 12:03
  the forefront. And if he feels like you're going
• 12:04
  to put that friend in front of him, not right
• 12:06
  now. I need I need you to focus on me. I need
• 12:09
  you to get rooted in me first. And then I'll
• 12:12
  add some flavoring to. Your dinner, but I'm should
• 12:15
  be your main the main thing and so We would love
• 12:19
  to pray for you this week dear Heavenly Father.
• 12:21
  Thank you so much for today. Thank you so much
• 12:22
  for yesterday Thank you for the gifts of friendship
• 12:24
  Thank you that you're surrounding us with people
• 12:26
  who sharpen our faith that strengthen our purpose
• 12:29
  that support our walk with you Thank you that
• 12:32
  you heal every place where friendships have hurt
• 12:34
  us Thank you for removing every relationship
• 12:36
  that was not from you. Thank you that you build
• 12:39
  us in character and humility and maturity to
• 12:41
  be kind friends who reflect your heart. We pray
• 12:44
  this in Jesus name. Amen and amen. Okay, so your
• 12:49
  action step this week is real simple. I want
• 12:51
  you to reach out to one friend that God has placed
• 12:55
  in your life and encourage them. Speak life into
• 12:59
  them. Pray for them. Strengthen that bond. Healthy
• 13:02
  friendships grow. when you mature them and so
• 13:06
  I always give my kids the word edify and so we
• 13:13
  want to speak life into people we don't want
• 13:15
  to tear people down and so looking at how your
• 13:18
  friends talk to you looking how you talk to them
• 13:20
  and so make sure that you're edifying people
• 13:23
  making sure that you're encouraging them that
• 13:24
  you're that you're building them up that you're
• 13:26
  not tearing them down and go back and look hey
• 13:29
  are they actually encouraging me am i you know
• 13:32
  are they pushing me in the wrong direction. Are
• 13:35
  they looking at me through godly lenses, you
• 13:39
  know, and all these things that we can look at
• 13:41
  our friendships through different lenses and
• 13:43
  just praying over if we have any confusion, you
• 13:45
  know, that we're reaching out to God saying,
• 13:47
  hey, are these people for me? Are they against
• 13:49
  me? You hear the conversations, you know, just
• 13:53
  put me where I need to be. And so we can't wait
• 13:55
  to hear from you guys. Make sure that you rate,
• 13:58
  leave a comment, share us, post us. Um, we love
• 14:01
  you guys. I'll see you back next week.