Latest / DA CREW Podcast / BONUS SHOW_Season 1 Da Crew Podcast_HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND_

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BONUS SHOW_Season 1 Da Crew Podcast_HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND_ · DA CREW Podcast

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three two, What is Going Down? The Basic Black After Dark, the
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all new podcast show What's Your Host? Black Diamond? Hello, Hello,
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Hello everyone, Thank you so much for joining us tonight. Before we get
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started, I want to present a verbal disclaimer for tonight's show. The language
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that may be used in terms of terminology has been changed out of respect for
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those who are struggling with drugs, illegal pharmaceuticals those who were raped, tampered
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with, and those who had some form of prostitution a person for hire.
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This is Black Diamond from the Crew Network, and you're listening to Basic Black
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after Dark podcasts to show that meets you where you are and gives you what
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you ask for. When a tree or plant blossoms, it produces flowers before
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producing fruit. When people blossom, they become more attractive, successful, or
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confident, and with good feelings or relationships blossom, they developed and become stronger.
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Tonight we are giving our guests her flowers. She is brimming with confidence
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and she's unfolding in many ways. Please welcome Blossom Rogers to Basic Black after
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Dark. Hey, hey, you, thank you so much for being here.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you, No, thank you,
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thank you. Now. First of all, I love to laugh and have
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a good time. Even though we're gonna be talking about serious stuff. I
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still love to laugh and have a good time because laughter is good for the
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soul. So buffle up and get ready because I did some funny things out
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there. But god, it's okay. That's okay. So it's all about
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you. It's your story and your words. It takes courage to open up
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about your past. Well, not your past, your life because you live
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in it. How or when did you find the courage to be so transparent?
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Well, first of all, I give got all the glory and the
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honor, and I ask them he shows you favor for being obedient. When
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I got into your inbox and ask can I come on your show? I
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tell everybody I'm still a hustle, but I hustle for God. You know.
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It's a lot of people ask me. Do I still get nervous?
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Yes, I still get nervous, but I gotta do what thus said the
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Lord. You know this is not about me. I didn't go through all
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of this for myself. I went through it so I'll be able to help
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somebody else. Is it easy? No, it's not, because you know
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what, everybody's not on the same level. And I don't mean age wise,
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I mean mental wise. You understanding because you're gonna. I have people
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that try to throw my pass up or say a little smart things, you
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know, But I want people to know that are they laughing with you or
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at you? You know? So God has blessed me. I am the
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author of four books, From on the Bridge, one from Under two We're
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gonna definitely get to those. Latania says absolutely, I love laughter. Who
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doesn't to tell you the truth? Who really doesn't blossom? And what age
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did you start using illegal pharmaceuticals? I don't want the same time that you
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were tampered with. And what was your choice of pharmaceuticals when you began?
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I was twenty three? Well, no, and take that back. I
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was age of five when I started drinking. My great grandmother raised me,
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and she was raised that if a child has wingworms, you give them beer.
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You know how some children fall in love with a horse on the Merryga
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round or parade. I fell in love with a horse on the cann of
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coat forty five. Okay, so that that was my first time, but
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the first time using crack cocaine. I was twenty three years old. And
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I tell everybody, I don't want nobody to take this wrong. But I
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enjoyed everything I was doing out there. You know, you have some people
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say I didn't like it. I'm originally from Florida, so our stuff came
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off the boat, you know, cup close to Miami. We have to
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remember, if I can't be real with Blossom, then I can't be real
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with nobody that's on this show tonight. A lot of that as far as
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how you were out there and and everything. We're gonna definitely cover all of
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that. What was the most difficult part of your journey to recovery forgiving myself
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for being an unfit mother because I felt like and no not felt like I
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did. I put drugs, alcohol, men, women before my kids.
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I can't never, never, I can never get that back. So that's
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a process. You know, I had to let God work with them kids,
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and he's still working with my sons. You know. You know there's
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no book on a perfect parent. Because if Adam and Eve's family was jacked
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up, I was gonna be jacked up. The only thing I could do
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is do something to lead them for a future I don't want to do.
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I'm gonna be a milliondaim but I just don't want to leave them money.
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I want to leave them wisdom as well, just because I started here,
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this is where my mama ended up at. You know what I'm saying,
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So that I think that was the hardest. So a number twenty three year
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old you happen to see going down the same path that you were going down.
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What advice would you give them. They're struggling and maybe they have children,
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maybe they don't, maybe they're pregnant. What advice would you give them?
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I would let them know that we all fall short because I got pregnant
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at an early age. But you gotta remember too that I was raised up.
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Whatever happens in the house stays in the house. But we're just as
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sick of our secrets. Okay, I got pregnant on purpose because I was
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thinking that the boy was gonna take me away from what I was going through
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at home. But I'm just want to let somebody know that your life is
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not It's not over. It's not over. It's a process. You're gonna
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feel shamed, people gonna talk about you, But like I said, you
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just got to keep pressing on. I'm learning that now still Still it's a
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process. You just don't get over it overnight for any day. It's a
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learning experience for every everyone, no matter what we go through. You know,
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it doesn't matter whether some people may consider you on the right path,
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but you're still learning right path on No matter where you go, they're gonna
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they're gonna you're gonna be learning no matter what you do. People are gonna
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talk about you. They talk about Jesus spikes every day. Yeah, you
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know, they talk about everybody. And they all in the news about this
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person that person. You know, if I'm worth your time, you're sitting
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there talking about it, and they keep talking about Man, don't care whether
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it's negative or positive or indifferent. I'm good. You know, I only
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have one person that have to answer to, and I don't think you're him.
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And then when it comes to that being him, and he tossed me
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on my shoulder, I'm gonna stand up strings saying, hey, yeah,
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well he spakes me on my thighs. You know he had to hit my
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thigh get get right back in order. You know, That's why I love
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God so to come, because of its grace and mercy. I shouldn't be
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sitting here, you know what I'm saying, Because all the drugs I smoke
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and all the thing I definitely want to know what are some of the things
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that help you stink clean? Who? Because when I look in the mirror,
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I'm looking at somebody, not something. You know what I'm saying.
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I don't want to I tell people I do not want to die and not
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have lived. You know what I'm saying. I don't want because you have
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so many people saying I'm fit to do this. I fit first of all,
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had your spell fit them. Either you're gonna do it or you're not.
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You know what I'm saying. Even when I was out there on drugs,
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I couldn't be around people saying I'm finna go get us a here.
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You should have been back on your way back sometime. I moved so fast
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because I feel like I wasted a lot of time. But no time has
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been wasted because God gonna give me all that back. Because nineteen years on
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drugs is a long time. But by the grace of God, I got
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nineteen years clean. So it's a process. During the fourth twenty twenty four
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of God's well, I have twenty years clean, no crack, no alcohol.
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So how is this? How has your life changed since you made that
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change? People are glad to see me now. You know how you look
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at the blind, No here come married. When I was on drugs,
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they would look out the blind and saying, oh, here come blossom.
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They would pick their whole house up and move because I was I told that
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I was a mean crackhead and a mean alcoholic. I always was fighting,
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always fighting. Say you know, I don't. I don't know you from
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that time anything, but I don't. I wouldn't say that you were mean.
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I would think that you were different than who they may have known you
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to be, so they you know, I mean I was mean. I
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mean you because you're different now and you're looking back at that. You know,
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I could see a little boy and say he's a mean little boy because
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he did certain things. He's just a different little boy than the next one.
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And if you were taking those substances or illegal pharmaceuticals, which like yeah,
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and you weren't different than maybe somebody else was taking it taking it,
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and your attitude was different, your disposition was different, you know, I
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don't you know, I know I had to really do a lot of working
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on and allowing in order to heal. You're gonna have to hurt. That's
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why we do the drugs because we don't want to feel the hurt. It's
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always a reason to why we getting high. You know, we just didn't
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wake up saying I want to smoke dope. For nineteen years, I wanted
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to go into the military, but due to the molestation, I can go
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through. It's two in words that African Americans don't like to talk about,
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and that's molestation and mental illness. So you know I've been through all of
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that. Then in mental hospital in a rubber room, it left for three
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days and didn't even know where I was at due to alcohol poisons and just
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had been up for like two weeks getting high drug and then with the molestation.
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Like I said, we're just as sick as our secrets. And for
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anybody who's been through that, it's a process. And I want you to
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know that it wasn't our fault. We were the children back when I was
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coming up. You didn't tell it growing up. I'm not doing that,
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or I'm going to tell no, we couldn't do that. We couldn't do
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that because you could live. My great grandma used to say, you could
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live in a glasshouse and people could pass all by. Nobody'll ever know what's
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going on unless you go out that glasshouse and tell it. You know what
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I'm saying. So because mom was coming up, you didn't give Mama food
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out, you didn't tell another of her business. Whatever happens in the house
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stays in the house. And so many little girls and so many little boys
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went through molestation due to that. You know what I'm saying, when you
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see somebody that has because I had to be delivered from a homosexual lifestyle because
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by me going through the molestation and going through rape, I thought that time
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that's what I wanted. But for Blossom, that's not the choice that she
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wants now, Okay, So I'm not knocking nobody. It's a process.
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It's something mentally that you're gonna have to go through in order to heal.
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You're gonna have to hurt, if that makes sense. I didn't want to
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talk about. Yeah, I didn't want to talk about nineteen years ago.
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I used to couldn't sit and talk face to face with anybody about what I
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went through because it always made me feel nasty. It always made me feel
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like it was my fault because that's what I was taught. It was my
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fault, you know what I'm saying. So when you're taught as a young
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child, when your childhood is talking from you, you don't know where you
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sit in That's why I became a people pleaser because and I was the class
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clown. You know. My teachers used to always say, Blossom, you're
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talking too much. If I made you happy and made you laugh, that
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made me feel good. So that's why I became a puppet for everybody.
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You know, if it was mad with me, I've been over back,
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was trying to see what can I do to make it up because of what
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I went through as a child. So what is your what is the biggest
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misconception of substance use that you would like to clear out? Because there's a
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whole bunch that's going on and people believe in different things. What is the
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biggest the one biggest thing that you would want to clear out. It can
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be passed out in your jeans, okay, But nobody wants to be on
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drugs. That's that's I want to put that out there, just because you
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see people out there on the corners and everything, and you know how sometimes
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you can hear them singing gospel songs and all that because they got so much
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to hurt inside. Nobody wants to be Because you know, you have people
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saying you can get off the drugs if you wanted to, you could do
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this. How do you know? You? How do you know? You
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know? We unless you have I still have the clothes I had on the
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night that God called me at the crack house. Shoes perse one pair underwell,
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and I don't know what if I had on at the bottom, it
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might want to have been in one of them knights. But I tell people,
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if you can't wear my shoes mentally or physically, there's nothing you can
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tell me. You know. I have people tell me when I was in
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prison or my brother died and I was his biggest sister. No matter what
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I did or went through, I still was his sister. Be because that's
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my nickname back home. But nobody wants to be on drugs, and so
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that's what I want to put out there. It's a process. It's always
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a root to why we get high, why we're drinking, what is it?
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So that's that's the biggest thing that because you know, you have people
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say they can get off of if they want to. Yeah, they say
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the same thing about people that's big, heavy set people. They'll say the
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same thing, you can lose weight if you want to. Latanya says,
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I can definitely relate to people pleasing and yeah that that has happened to several
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people. One of the questions I want to ask you everyone's healing journey is
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different, and a part of your journey was being tampered with as a child.
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Do you believe you're a child to shake your doughtoo? Yeah? I
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do. But it I had to be rerouted, if that makes sense,
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you know, because I was so fine tuned this way. So then I
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had to learn how to be unwind this way and what I mean. Yeah,
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you know what I'm saying and what I mean by that, because I
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used to think that if a man didn't No, I don't think like this
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now, but I used to think that if a man didn't beat you,
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he didn't love you. I went through many beatings and I thought that's what
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love was. So I was over here with that winding. So through therapy
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first of all, through God the unwinding. No, that's not true.
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You can't raise a grown up. A man does not have the right to
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beat on a woman. Well, and women don't have the right to beat
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on a man, because we're not beating me in now, you know I'm
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saying me. So it's a process going unwinding, unwinding, and I'll do
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this to today God calls me home. You know what I'm saying. Because
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I tell everybody i'd rather get a lick than a word. And what I
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mean by that, it depends on who hit you. You might have a
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black eye for two two weeks. I've had it for three weeks, but
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a word will stick with you for the rest of your life. That's why
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we have to be careful of what we say, because I still remember things
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that were said to me as a child when they're touching and all that was
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going on. But God has taught me, even though the ny brings it
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back up. God has taught me that I don't have to go and get
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high behind it. You know what I'm saying. I don't have to go
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break behind it. I don't have to get into a relationship where a man
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is beating me behind it. Still it's still a process, but you go
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like, go back to that, rewind, You got to go back to
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that. So's that's where I'm at right now. But each time God allows
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me to get on different platforms, it's more and more healing. Because you
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can sit in a room dark room, you can sit be confined to this
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and you still have that negative thinking, you know what I'm saying, So
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you have to renew your mind. So when God, my mind now is
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telling my story so nobody else won't have to go through or come out of
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what I've been through, because it's not you were chosen to do what you're
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doing. Latanya says that physical physical bruises heal, but words never do.
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Now it's not in a room or because you mentioned it a little earlier that
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you once like everything about being a substance user. What about substance use was
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so appealing to you that made you you for it? The first time I
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hit, it was a different kind of house. That's what we chase,
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you know, like your first love, your very first boyfriend. I don't
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care if he was in kindergarten with you. You'll always remember little Jimmy.
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You know what I'm saying, even with your first level when you become a
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teenager, and what my problem was I when I took that first hit,
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it was like all my problems were over with. I can't explain it,
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but it's a feeling that we'll never have again. And the sad part is
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we know that, we know it's like a dog trying to catch his tail.
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It's a freeple say that it's like a numbing feeling. Yeah, yeah,
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it is. I can't explain it. It was just like, well,
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now, the first time I took a hit, I started hyper ventilating.
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So the guy that was that was teaching me because I wanted to fit
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in to his world, he had started beating me and taking my money.
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I said, well, if I can't beat him, I might as well
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join them, because see that it go was that people pleasing situation that I
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didn't know where I belonged. So he was beating me with making up make
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up, beating me. And then when I realized that he was trying out
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and let me say this, we cannot change nobody if we could barely change
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ourselves. So when I found out that he was smoking crack, I'm like,
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oh, I can love him so hard he'll stop. No, I
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ended up going to his world, you know what I'm saying me. So
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the very first time I tuck the head, I started hyper ventilating, and
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once he started putting the water in my face, I started coming, you
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know, started breathing normal. First thing, I said, let me try
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it again. I'll get it right this time. You see what I'm saying.
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That's the sick part. But that's the process that I had to go
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through because I didn't know that you don't have to please nobody, but God,
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I didn't know that, you know what I'm saying, So that very
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first time it was off to the races, off the rae. So what
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was the turning point in your life that made you say, Okay, I
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had enough I need to do together. I had been to prison. Prison
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number is fifty eight nine and nine thirty one. I had a number for
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the rest of my life. It's just not a functional number. When I
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went to prison, where was chopping trees, one girl on one side,
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one another. I had been to jail, I had been in mental hospital.
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My mom and my great grandmother I thank them so much because they raised
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my sons. I had three sons, thirteen grand babies, and three great
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grandchildren. All that didn't stop me from wanting to get high. My rock
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bottom was it was one night in a crack house. I had been up
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for like two weeks straight. Was the driver of the gateway car while there
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was robbing stores. I mean, I did some things out there that a
22:41
woman should not be out there doing. But because of the drug and because
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I had got so down and then sleeping up under a bridge, you know,
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Yeah, I had a car, but I would get out of the
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front seat and get in the back seat, and I slept peacefully. I
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didn't get in trouble until I got front seat and went to West Side,
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and this was an area where it was open twenty four seven. So it
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was pee bout that all the time. That didn't stop me many times crying
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because I was either on drugs or I didn't have no drugs. That didn't
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stop me. What stopped me was sitting in a crack I had well,
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I was face in prison time God. I walked there scott free. It
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was about God, and I joined the church and I remember the first time
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being a church and everybody was so happy. The holy ghost was flowing.
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I didn't know what it was at the time, but everybody just seemed so
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light and so happy. And I desired that because I was so another stream
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feeling and it was it was another drug. Right, that was another drug,
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but it was more powerful than what you were already on, and right
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it seemed to be. But still still trying to find love and all the
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wrong places. I backslid over this man, and so that made it seven
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times versus harder. So this one time I was out there for like two
24:03
weeks driving the car, and I was just I was so tired. I
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didn't you know what. I didn't like water, and water didn't like me.
24:08
You used to could smell me coming. I looked like tails from the
24:11
crib and smelled like hot buttermilk. People did not want to be around me
24:15
because I was. I was nasty, you know what I'm saying. I
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was just during right nasty. So I was sitting in the crack house and
24:22
Deytonona Bee's, Florida, and I had my purse and a piece of paper
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and a pencil in that purse, and I started writing God to let them.
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And you know you have people asking the dmonstrat girl, you was smoking
24:33
crack talking to God. He already knew where I was. If you're waiting
24:36
for the woman at the well, he was waiting for me. He said,
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I know she gonna go over there and do this. I know she
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gonna go over there and do that, but I'm gonna sit right here to
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wait for it because she's gonna come in. And I got to be here
24:47
waiting on her. So I was writing and the young Lady house where I
24:51
was in, she came in the kitchen to check on me because I had
24:55
separated myself from everybody because they was all in there getting high. But I
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want to be by myself. I wanted I wanted that feeling that I had
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when I walked into that church. So I was in the writing and she
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came to check on me, and she gave me another hit of crack,
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and I told her, I said, next time you see me, I'll
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be clean and sober. And she laughed. Remember there's two times of laughter.
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I did laughing with you at you, and she was laughing at me
25:15
ad night because she didn't believe me. Half I did. Part of me
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didn't, but part of me did believe that this was the last time.
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So I ended up writing that last line. I put the purse on my
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shoulder, put the paper and pencil in there, and I got in my
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car and I checked myself into the mental hospital and I begged them. I
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said, please don't let me go into your find because I knew I was
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finna die, if that makes it. I knew somebody was gonna kill me
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or I was gonna kill them. That's how bad it had got. I
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remember one time, because I had a guy to leave me for another guy,
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because all this is in the book. And I remember getting high that
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one night, and I remember put on all black, and I remember going
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and sitting in the in the bushes waiting for this guy to come because I
26:00
was gonna cut his throat. That's how bad I had got out there.
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So I don't know how long I had been out there, but my whole
26:08
mentality was to kill him because he had took my man. And when the
26:14
guy did pull up, I jumped out with my switch blade and I started
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him. But when he saw who I was, he said, blossom,
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and it was like it stopped me from doing what I was gonna come to
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do. So we started drinking. I started crying and just telling him how
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I was upset because he took my man. You know, So I didn't
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want to go through that no more. I was so I was just I
26:37
wanted something out of life. I knew it was something more than getting high,
26:41
going to prison. I knew it was more to that. I knew
26:45
it. So, like I said, God, bless me to be in
26:48
that crack house and not even up under the bridge. Didn't want me.
26:52
I didn't want to stop, but being in that crack house and writing that
26:55
letter. That was my wake up call. So right there where we go,
26:59
before you take this break, I want to ask you, do you
27:02
still have that letter? No, but I got the purse, and I
27:07
don't know what happened to the letter. I wish I did, and I
27:10
still wish that I could get the car. It was a nineteen ninety three
27:15
dynasty. But them one of the two things that I don't have left from
27:21
when I was out there on drugs. That letter and that car, but
27:23
everything else I got. Well, we're gonna take a break. But before
27:26
we do, Latania says, God, it's so amazing. He definitely needs
27:30
us where we are. We're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna be
27:33
coming back here talking to Blossom Rogers. Turn off the light tonight a then
28:04
met, let's take a shower shower together. I was a bund it you
28:22
must not and so much wealthy, and doctor say, Jayce, turn off,
28:45
Come girl, I want to give you a special tweet. You're so
28:55
sweet. Turn on. We are back and we are having a conversation from
29:04
under a bridge with Blossom Rogers lossom. Somebody say, you've lived several completely
29:11
different lines with very sharp twisting turns and changes. What have you learned along
29:17
the way, and how has it influenced who you are today? That you've
29:22
got to depend on God. We have a lot of people that sell I'll
29:25
be there for you. You can't trust that when it comes to my recovery.
29:30
I don't play with my recovery at all, and I'm not to let
29:33
nobody else play with it because when I go home, I don't go into
29:38
them dope holes trying to be captain Saint. No, I'll meet you outside
29:45
and we'll talk and pray, because I've done that kind of stuff before,
29:48
and I always ended at the table with my elbows on the table, with
29:52
a stem in my mouth. When it comes to our recovery, we have
29:55
to be selfish when it comes to that, because if I don't stay clean
29:57
and soul, but I'm not gonna be no good to myself or nobody else.
30:00
I've had several relapses over and over go and yeah, relapses our party
30:04
of recovery. But it don't have to be that today. Like I said,
30:11
I don't want to die and have not lived. I don't my dad.
30:15
He's daddy gone now. But my dad used to be in the band
30:18
slide in the family and my dad and I we used to get high together
30:22
and drink, but we had a we had a bond, and he was
30:26
I would watch him sit there like he was playing the bass guitar and I
30:30
was like, face what you're doing. And that's what he told me about
30:33
everything he went through. I don't know what happened to stop him fulfilling his
30:38
dream. But I don't want to end up like my daddy. Now,
30:42
my daddy was my We was down like four flat ties. But I don't
30:45
want to die like that, you know what I'm saying. I want to
30:48
leave a legacy, you know, God bless me. This past February,
30:53
in my hometown, they purchased Mary Bethough's original house and cleaned up the park
31:02
and put the house inside the park. Across the street is a Miss Mary
31:07
Harold Black Heritage Museum. So five other women and myself. Now this is
31:11
the same hometown people where I got double teen. People used to you see
31:17
me coming. But when my grandchildren and my great grand my great grand when
31:21
they go through this museum, they're gonna see their Grandmama on the wall.
31:23
You know what I'm saying. So not no prison picture, but their grandma's
31:30
picture on the wall. So I want to leave. I want to leave
31:34
like that. You know, when they called me and said that I was
31:38
one of the ones that they wanted to I was like, who you know?
31:44
And so I broke down crime because people told me, and I told
31:48
myself, and the enemy had to say that I was gonna die a crackhead.
31:52
I was gonna die with a's and y'all. Back in them days,
31:56
I was selling for that. I don't want to die like that. I
31:59
don't want to die just a number, you know what I'm saying. Like
32:01
I lost a lot of friends out there that did the same thing I was
32:05
doing. I used to run in front of a train, either running or
32:07
in a car by one of my friends. Did it one time and got
32:12
drug by the training I've had to do that. Smoke dope mine just gone.
32:19
You know. I was smoking five to six hundred dollars a day or
32:22
more. You know what I'm saying. I smoked dope. I didn't play
32:24
with it. The Bible teachers that unselfish love is the basis for true forgiveness,
32:31
since it keeps no record of wrongs. When Corinthians thirteen y five.
32:37
Forgiven others mean letting go of resentment and giving up any claim of compensation for
32:42
the hurt or loss we have suffered. And that's something that you spoke about
32:45
earlier. Were you hoping for compensation for the hurt you may have caused others?
32:50
Or were you looking for forgiveness? I was working for forgiveness, but
32:58
also with my abuser. God had to teach me how to forgive him,
33:01
because, let me tell you one thing, hurt people. Hurt people not
33:05
taking up for anybody who does something against a child, but something had to
33:10
have happened to them in order for them to inflict it on somebody. Because
33:15
you just don't wake up saying I want to molest a child. Just I
33:19
didn't wake up saying I want to smoke crack. So God had to teach
33:22
me love him to dell, love him the dell, wish him all the
33:25
best. But the forgiveness is for us because and then God had to teach
33:31
me how to forgive myself for some things I did out there, cause some
33:35
of the stuff I didn't put in the book because everybody can't handle the truth.
33:38
But one thing about you, tell you about your forgiveness Were you expecting
33:43
forgiveness from your family and friends or were you just were you expecting pushback?
33:47
I was expecting pushback. I and you know what to this day, like
33:53
some I still have some family members that call my book the book. Some
33:58
people still don't want to accept. But one thing I do know, anything
34:01
that we do for the Lord is gonna last, you know. And and
34:05
I used to try to defend and prove, you know, like I was
34:08
in the middle Roads. He did it, just trying to defend improve.
34:12
But God had to teach you. As long as God know, I know,
34:15
and he knows, that's all that matters. So that's why God allows
34:20
me to be able to go on these different platforms and tell the same story
34:23
the same way. If I need to add, I don't subtract nothing.
34:28
I'm not gonna put something on somebody that it didn't happen, because no,
34:31
whatever is so, we shall read you know under saying me, So I
34:36
just the basis. What is the basis for truly forgiving yourself and handing your
34:40
life over the God being able to tell my story. If you haven't forgiven
34:47
yourself, you don't want to talk about nothing. You want You still just
34:51
want to keep it buried down, and that means you haven't worked on your
34:53
issue. You know what I'm saying, You gotta work on It's a it's
34:55
a process. We're not gonna get it overnight. You've got to work on
35:00
because and it's just not with addiction. It could be food, it could
35:04
be verbal abuse, physical abuse. But we you know, we have to
35:09
realize that we were put here on this earth for a reason and for a
35:15
short period of time. Yeah, you know, and when and when we're
35:17
standing for him, we're gonna be accountable. Like when it came to the
35:22
book, half of me I was so happy, and then the other part
35:24
I was scared because I hadn't told the family secret. You know what I'm
35:29
saying. But when it's when I standing for the Lord, he's not gonna
35:32
want to hear. They was gonna be mad with me. You do what
35:36
I tell you to do, He'll tell you'll take care of everything else.
35:38
I know they happy, I know they're proud of me. But some of
35:42
them just can't. Some of them just can't. Some people are not there
35:46
yet, not at accepting but this and not want to do this. But
35:54
they may feel guilt that I saw the signs, but I didn't do anything
36:00
right the way I treated her. You know, people en things differently.
36:04
People envision God in many ways, and I know there's only one God.
36:08
Tell me something about the God you've come to know through your journey. Whoo,
36:14
I'm sitting here in my right I'm sitting here in my right mind because
36:17
all the dope I smoke, I should be in a nursing home somewhere with
36:22
a beer around my throat and wearing a diper. And you understand me.
36:24
That's why I should be I should be dead because of all the things I
36:30
did out there, being involved with somebody who was HIV that never told me.
36:34
But by the grace of God, I'm sitting here. I don't have
36:36
age nor HIV. Now. Unfortunately the young man died seven years ago.
36:42
I'm not bragging on me. I'm bragging on the God that I served.
36:44
You know, I have people that say, your immune sister. They always
36:46
want to put things to science. No, that was the blood of Jesus
36:50
that covered me. You understand me. So I let people know we we
36:54
think we know God, we think we know all his moves. We don't
37:00
have a clue. We don't have a. I'm sitting here in my right
37:02
mind. Even after being clean and sober. When I moved here to Alabama,
37:07
I was married. Were still gonna have life issues? Okay, I
37:12
was married. I'm di vorce. Now do the love and people say love.
37:16
This is my second husband. Yeah, because he loved talking to other
37:20
women and brought another woman in my home. See. I was the kind
37:22
of crackhead that got high for bird, got hit bird there, let's go
37:25
get I ain't need I just wanted to get high. But when that woman
37:29
called me and told me she had been in my home, I had to
37:31
stop and think, because did the old blossom. I just set the whole
37:35
house on fire and went on the next thing, smoking, trying to get
37:38
up out of town. But I had to cry. I remember walking around
37:40
in the house crying out to the Lord because I had the most seasoned saints,
37:45
you know, the mothers and stuff in the church. A sister flip
37:49
flopping, sister knock not telling me to stay with this man when I was
37:52
on drug, I felt like I had to stay with somebody like that.
37:55
So we ended up getting the divorce, but I didn't go back to getting
37:59
high. First time buying a home. I lost at the foreclosure, but
38:02
I didn't go back to getting high. Brand new cobs reposed, but I
38:07
didn't go back to getting high. So I'm sitting here today, nineteen years
38:10
clean. My dad died, who was my best friend. God had annoyed
38:15
me because I'm a minister of the gospel. He annoyted me to go home
38:19
and unligize his funeral because of God. You know what I'm saying. So,
38:23
like I said, we still gonna have like because God is allowing me
38:28
and teaching me how to work on myself. Because if I had not been
38:31
dealing with stuff that I had done, things that were done to me,
38:36
I'll be back out this smoking dope, you know. So it's a process.
38:39
That's the God I know. That's the God that allows me to work
38:43
at the University of Alabama in research. Who would have thought that I'd be
38:46
walking and working in with people that got their PhD. God knew that's where
38:52
He knew that's where you want to be. So you don't sit back and
38:54
say, who would have thought? He thought? Here just waiting for you
39:00
to understand that's where he wanted to take you. Now, you had mentioned
39:04
earlier about some family just call your book the book. Were there any challenges?
39:09
Any other challenges were writing from under a bridge? Book one? In
39:14
two? And which one did you find harder to write? Book two?
39:20
Book? Because and I really couldn't put everything in there, because like I
39:29
said, everybody couldn't handle everything. You know what I'm saying. That could
39:31
be a number three book number three, you know what I'm saying. But
39:36
book number two, especially the part where I talk about my brother when he
39:40
died while I was in prison, I choked up, and I was in
39:45
the young lady who was helping me because she was tight while I spoke.
39:49
And my book is the way that you hear me speaking is the way my
39:52
book reads. Because you gotta read, you gotta meet people where they're at,
39:55
you know. So, so the people that God had me dealing with,
40:00
they're the ones with the tattoos and the piercings. I can't go out
40:02
there in the traps with a sequence dress on and how his shoes because they're
40:07
not gonna receive me. So book number two was where the part I had
40:12
to get real and tell them about blossom. You know what I'm saying.
40:16
How I was in Origins and threesomes and dope and and men and women and
40:23
stealing and all that. I really had to get real about, Blossom.
40:30
It seems like you just you did what you had to do. What is
40:32
the meaning behind your book titled and they laugh? The book type is because
40:39
I set on the bridge in the backseat of my car, So that's where
40:43
and they laugh came from. And they laughed because I had somebody laugh at
40:46
me. I was going through something and they and they did like, and
40:52
that was the title of my book. They gonna laugh at your regardless what
40:54
kind of laughs are you dealing with? I was so used to people saying,
40:58
little little girl, what it feel like smoking crack? I know,
41:01
I want to lose some weight, and no, I'm just playing people.
41:05
Don't nobody can't bring nothing out of you that's not already English. So we
41:07
don't have to put up with these dumb little things that we're saying at us.
41:12
Don't don't let nobody belitter you. Don't let nobody make you feel bad.
41:15
If you did it, you did it. If you didn't do it,
41:19
you didn't do it. You know, That's that's me. I did
41:21
a lot of things like that, But nobody's not gonna make me say I
41:22
did something that I didn't do. Spoke about your past and of the things
41:28
that were not so good, tell me about the things that you're doing that
41:31
are good. Being able to have a relationship with my sons, my grandbabies,
41:38
and my great grands you know, I FaceTime with them, and when
41:42
they look into the screen, I said, you know who? They said,
41:45
yes, Grandma. You know I wasn't there for my sons. You
41:49
know what I'm saying. My mother and my great grandmother raised them. So
41:52
I was an unfit mother. That was I was when I started dealing with
41:58
that. Here, one of my sons said, when he did see me,
42:01
he said, oh Mama, he was about three or four years old.
42:06
You know what I'm saying. But I didn't have time for them.
42:07
I wanted to get high, and I had to face that, you know
42:12
what I'm saying. But God allowed me. When I got a year clean,
42:15
I called each one of them and I apologized for everything I had said
42:20
and done. Now, I don't never say I'm sorry. Don't nobody ever
42:22
say you're sorry, because there's nothing sorry about you, and God was not
42:25
sorry when he made you. I apologize or please forgive me, and I
42:30
used to think that they supposed to accept me just like that. It took
42:35
some years. It took about It took some years for them to stop looking
42:37
at me sideways because I was a pop up mama. One minute I'm here,
42:42
next thing, I'm gone. So it took them some years. And
42:45
I don't force my kids to be on my side. So what do they
42:51
think about your book? I don't, you know what, We've never talked
42:57
about it. I don't push it on them because, like I said,
43:00
you know, Grandma raised them, so I don't. I don't. I
43:07
was like, my documentary came out last months. Yeah, by the grace
43:13
of guy, it came out hit Atlanta, and uh, when I tell
43:15
you, it was truly a blessing. Working with this team, Tamela Coleman
43:20
and mister Darryl Hurst, it was truly a blessing. It's God them too
43:25
and myself. That's the team. And we worked on it for a whole
43:29
year. And when I've seen it, I had seen parts of it,
43:35
but at the actual Fielming, I broke down crime because reality because I'm like
43:39
I said, it's my life. Store is gonna be a book, be
43:43
a movie is something that I can see your documentary? Your documentary. Is
43:50
it something that I can I can tune into to see it or is it
43:52
just right Right now, we're getting ready to schedule another screening and then she
43:57
just entered it into a film festival in Los Angeles and she's been talking with
44:02
a couple of well I had a network to reach reach me out to me
44:07
Monday or Tuesday, no last Thursday, and they want to put it on
44:13
their network. So that's what we're in the process with that. But I'll
44:15
keeping posted from under bridge from the agreement. So, like I said,
44:24
just being there and everything was shot in Atlanta, and when we went up
44:30
under the bridge right next to six Flags, it's a bridge, and we
44:35
did some see a scene up under there, and it was just like,
44:38
Yeah, I saw a picture of you with with the team. Then you
44:42
were sitting there. You look so I don't want to say relaxed, but
44:44
you looked like everything started coming together for you. Yeah. Yeah, I've
44:50
seen you the clips, so you can check it out. It's truly a
44:52
blessing, you know, you know it's you see it for other people.
44:58
And I realized, I said, this is my story. You know what
45:00
I'm saying. I'm the one that they said was gonna die crack. I'm
45:02
the one that was up on the bridge. I'm the one fifty eight nine
45:06
thirty one that's me up there on the screen. And when it finished,
45:10
Aaron and we're getting ready for the Q and A, I just broke down
45:15
crying. I mean, because that's something that nobody could ever take away from
45:20
me, even when God blessed me. I've gotten the lead, the leading
45:22
part in this upcoming film. We got to go back on the set to
45:25
finish it. But they called me one night and I didn't have an audition
45:30
for the part. God showed me favor, you know what I'm saying.
45:32
So the name of the film that I'm playing in it's called A Grandmother's Faith
45:37
and I played Miss baby Lee Johnson. So and I had never read a
45:42
script a day of my life. I thought they were joking with me when
45:45
they got contact with me. And so when they was like miss Blosting,
45:49
you're gonna get paid for it. So you know, automatically I sat up.
45:52
I wouldn't know what was going on, but it was truly a blessing.
45:54
It was being filmed out of in North Carolina, And it was truly
45:58
a blessing being on the set, you know, but some long hours,
46:00
but being out there, nobody can ever take that away from me. You
46:05
know, even when you forgot your line, you just stay in position and
46:08
you just say feed me. And they fed the line. So when I
46:10
seen and you know, when you're there, you're like, this ain't gonna
46:15
how this is gonna be a movie. But when they started showing me,
46:16
I said, this is really gonna be a movie. So I'm excited about
46:21
that for us to get back on the set to finish that. So these
46:22
are the kind of things that God has allowing me to do. Can't nobody
46:29
take this from me? You know, God bless from the othor of for
46:31
books. From on the Bridge one too. And they laugh. And when
46:36
they laugh, because they're gonna laugh at you. But when when they laugh,
46:38
are you gonna milldor or barbecue? I want something out of life,
46:43
you know what I'm saying. I mean so, so, so, what
46:45
was the profound connection you made with people having a substance use disorder? And
46:50
how can you support loved ones who are struggling with substance use? Stop telling
46:54
them to hush them out, Let them, let them people talk. You
46:59
know, you know how many people older people are still taking talking their secrets
47:04
that they were molested, and they in their seventies and eighties. That's a
47:07
long time to hold onto a secret because they could not talk about you.
47:12
Look at all the pastors that are being revealed now because they had not dealt
47:15
with their issues. You know what I'm saying. If you don't deal with
47:19
your issues, your issues will deal with you. You understand me now.
47:22
I maybe didn't sexually or physically abuse my children, but mentally I put them
47:27
boys through a lot because I was not there for them. The boys did.
47:30
A boy's first girlfriend is his mama. That's their first love. Okay,
47:36
my boys didn't want to see their mom out there. And my boys
47:38
didn't want to hear about their mama. You know what I'm saying. So
47:42
for a long time they was mad with me because I was not there for
47:45
them kids. You know what I'm saying. So I don't try, like
47:49
I said when it comes to the book and that I don't make them say
47:52
you better support me. I don't do that because God can put it in
47:55
that so smooth, smooth like butter melt butter. You understand me. When
47:59
you try to or something, if it's if it's a triangle and you try
48:02
to put a circle, that it's not gonna fit. But when we let
48:06
God do what he need to do, it fit just like a glovey hand.
48:09
So that we got to let people if they say this happened, ask
48:16
God to reveal to you that you can understand and be able to receive.
48:22
Because now I'm not gonna say everybody is telling the truth. I'm not saying
48:24
that. But if they look at you out of eye and say, this
48:29
is what happened to me. He did such and such, she did such
48:32
as such, and if sometimes some people they can't handle it, because when
48:37
it's a generational curse pass down, if they haven't dealt with they issue,
48:42
they can't help you with your issue. You understand, How can't I help
48:45
somebody if I ain't never been to prison? Oh oh yeah, I know
48:49
how you feel. People can have empathy, but they can't have sympathy,
48:52
you know, understand. I mean, so let people be relieved from the
48:58
pain and the hurt, shame, you know, because all that comes with
49:04
that with molestation. You know what I'm saying, awesome. This is in
49:07
her words, I thank you so much. How can people connect with you?
49:13
How can our listeners and viewers connect with you? Can you up on
49:15
Facebook, Blossom Rogers, Instagram Blossom Rogers phone number is three oh five seventy
49:23
five three eight one sixty four or send me an email b l os the
49:29
number two white at yahoo dot com. And if it's in that, if
49:32
you are anybody, please call me. And I believe that if you are
49:38
someone you know is struggling with substance use, there are many resources available to
49:43
help. You can start by visiting the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration
49:47
SAMSUM. The National Helpline, a free, confidential, twenty four hour,
49:53
seven day a week, three hundred and sixty five days a year's treatment referral
49:59
and information service for individuals and families facing mental and or substance use disorders.
50:05
You can reach the helpline at one eight hundred six six' two help that's
50:10
one eight hundred six six' two four three five seven, or Facebook,
50:16
Twitter, the SAMTA blog or YouTube. Blossom you were a treasure to talk
50:22
with. Thank you, Glory, Thank you so much for being transparent and
50:28
for being you I want to thank the listeners and followers of the Crew Podcast
50:32
network and Basic Black after Dark for a wonderful year. This is the part
50:37
where I ask you to join me for the next episode of Basic Black after
50:40
Dark, but instead I'm going to give you a sneak peek a Basic Black
50:45
after Dark in twenty twenty four, and you are also invited to join me
50:51
along with the Crew podcast family right here at eight pm on December thirty.
50:55
First, stay safe and blessed and have a happy week.