Latest / DA CREW Podcast / Let the Healing Begin with APOSTLES LEE Jr & DR KIMBERLY THOMAS | 1ST & 3rd Sunday

Transcript

Let the Healing Begin with APOSTLES LEE Jr & DR KIMBERLY THOMAS | 1ST & 3rd Sunday · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The healing begins. Oh.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Every first and third Sunday, eight pm Eastern Time.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Apostbly and Doctor Kimmery.
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: Bring healing to your mind, streaming on the Crew podcast network, YouTube, Facebook,
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: Kick and Twitch. Faye Truth and Relationships. This is what
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: your spirit's been missing. Let the healing begin, Let the
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: truth be told.
• 0:41
  Speaker 5: Let rise up, ever stare your soul perfected?
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: Where's some from above?
• 0:49
  Speaker 6: I pay Emily.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Love, It's up.
• 1:03
  Speaker 6: Let the healing begin, Let the healing begin, healing begin,
• 1:12
  Speaker 6: Let the healing begin.
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: Healing again.
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: Apostle he brings the Word with grace, Biblical truth for
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: the trials with face.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: Doctor Kimberlee speaks.
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: Life to the heart, restoring the broken, a brand new
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: sign from Telling Hessy roots to.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: The world online. The sharing real.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: Top, one soul at a time, spiritual growth and practical
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: advice helping.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: You heal and walk in new life.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: Relationship, forgiveness, family and faith.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: Real life challenge is covered by grace, broad.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Truth, real less is healing with it.
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: Come to the table. Let the healing begin, Let the
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: truth be told. Satay's some probable.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Time. Let the healing begin.
• 2:39
  Speaker 7: Hey, good evening, good evening, good evening, and happy belated
• 2:44
  Speaker 7: forth to all of you tonight. We want to welcome
• 2:47
  Speaker 7: you to let the healing begin.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: We are your hosts.
• 2:53
  Speaker 7: And Kimberly, Kimberly Thomas, what a delay aviation, Hey, Kimberly Thomas.
• 2:58
  Speaker 7: We are here tonight for let the healing begin. As
• 3:02
  Speaker 7: you know, let the healing begin. We talk about marriage,
• 3:06
  Speaker 7: we talk about sex, we talk about relationships and all
• 3:10
  Speaker 7: topics that are hard for some people to talk about.
• 3:14
  Speaker 7: So we're here for it, and we want to put
• 3:18
  Speaker 7: this disclaimer out there. We do not claim to have
• 3:22
  Speaker 7: the monopoly on this thing called marriage, nor have we
• 3:25
  Speaker 7: mastered marriage. But what we do have is a marriage.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: We have time, we have an.
• 3:30
  Speaker 7: Experience, and we have a mandate from God to bring
• 3:35
  Speaker 7: forth and share our experience with our audience. So we
• 3:41
  Speaker 7: want to welcome you tonight to let the healing begin.
• 3:44
  Speaker 7: We are here tonight and we have a pretty hot topic.
• 3:49
  Speaker 7: We we're gonna talk about a little bit of everything
• 3:52
  Speaker 7: tonight because last week we have the opportunity of attending
• 3:58
  Speaker 7: a summit and there was a license social worker that
• 4:03
  Speaker 7: was there in our mess and she brought.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Forth some things that really brought forth and caused.
• 4:11
  Speaker 7: Us to have a meaningful and empowering conversation as we
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: travel back to our destination.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: So we want to talk about a little bit about.
• 4:24
  Speaker 7: Triggers tonight, But before we get into that, we want
• 4:28
  Speaker 7: to start off tonight.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I want to start off tonight.
• 4:32
  Speaker 7: Talking to many of the couples, we realized that many
• 4:36
  Speaker 7: couples they experience money challenges, and.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: In marriage, money is one of those things.
• 4:45
  Speaker 7: That can make or break a marriage. Many times you
• 4:50
  Speaker 7: hear people talk about money. If you had money and
• 4:55
  Speaker 7: now you don't have the money that.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: You had, that that causes a problem.
• 5:02
  Speaker 7: And if you never have money and now you have
• 5:06
  Speaker 7: some money, that causes a problem.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: So the thing that we have to realize is that
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: money brings out the worst in people.
• 5:15
  Speaker 7: But I want to share something with you because love
• 5:19
  Speaker 7: conquers all.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: And I'm gonna say that, and we're.
• 5:22
  Speaker 7: Gonna be a little transparent, and we're gonna talk about
• 5:26
  Speaker 7: us a little bit. We don't always come on and
• 5:28
  Speaker 7: talk about us. We talk about general topics. But I
• 5:32
  Speaker 7: want to share something with some of you that are
• 5:34
  Speaker 7: in relationship, some of you that may be in marriages.
• 5:38
  Speaker 7: Early on in our marriage, we had money challenges. What Yeah,
• 5:44
  Speaker 7: we had some money challenges. And the thing about those
• 5:47
  Speaker 7: money challenges, it wasn't so much that we did not
• 5:50
  Speaker 7: have money, But the thing is that we had some
• 5:55
  Speaker 7: other factors in our relationship and in our marriage that
• 6:01
  Speaker 7: was pulling money from our household. So for those of
• 6:07
  Speaker 7: you that have blended families, those of you that have
• 6:11
  Speaker 7: mama baby mamas and baby daddies in the mix, you
• 6:16
  Speaker 7: know what I'm talking about when.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I say some financial challenges.
• 6:21
  Speaker 7: That pull money from your household, meaning child support and
• 6:26
  Speaker 7: just agreed, just want to cause havoc in your house
• 6:32
  Speaker 7: or in your relationship. Those type of things tend to
• 6:37
  Speaker 7: break relationships down. It tends to cause a little rift
• 6:41
  Speaker 7: in relationships. But I want to share something with you.
• 6:45
  Speaker 7: I want you to know that even if you only
• 6:49
  Speaker 7: have little, you can still create memories. We know that
• 6:53
  Speaker 7: the fourth of July was just yesterday, and so many
• 6:57
  Speaker 7: couples may have been challenged because you know, we don't
• 7:00
  Speaker 7: have money to celebrate the fourth. You know, they may
• 7:03
  Speaker 7: have been used to laying it all out, you know,
• 7:06
  Speaker 7: having these great big cookouts and doing all these things,
• 7:10
  Speaker 7: but the money just was not there because of these
• 7:12
  Speaker 7: other things. But I want to let you know you
• 7:15
  Speaker 7: can create memories if you have just a little We
• 7:19
  Speaker 7: used to create memories a lot. We were groupon or
• 7:24
  Speaker 7: I was, let me put it that way. I was
• 7:26
  Speaker 7: the groupon queen. I was a groupon queen, the coupon queen,
• 7:31
  Speaker 7: the by one get one free queen. Wherever they was
• 7:35
  Speaker 7: giving out something special on whatever night.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I think I knew every place.
• 7:40
  Speaker 7: In Tallahassee that had a certain night that it was
• 7:44
  Speaker 7: something special.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: You buy this and get this free or whatever.
• 7:47
  Speaker 7: And that's how we made it because we had individuals
• 7:51
  Speaker 7: that were in our life that were there to create
• 7:54
  Speaker 7: habit and their their statements to us was the fact
• 7:58
  Speaker 7: that you know, I'm to make sure that you all
• 8:01
  Speaker 7: don't have anything. And I know that I'm speaking to
• 8:04
  Speaker 7: some of you out there tonight. You have those people
• 8:07
  Speaker 7: in your life that are just creating having They're mad
• 8:11
  Speaker 7: because the man or the woman has moved on, they've
• 8:15
  Speaker 7: gone on with their life, they married someone else, there
• 8:18
  Speaker 7: with someone else, But because there are children in the mix,
• 8:22
  Speaker 7: you're hateful and you're better and you decide, well, I'm
• 8:28
  Speaker 7: gonna make sure that you don't have anything. Their baby
• 8:31
  Speaker 7: mamas and baby daddy's out there that do the same thing.
• 8:35
  Speaker 7: So it's not just a baby mama issue. It's a
• 8:38
  Speaker 7: baby mama and a baby daddy issue. And the thing
• 8:42
  Speaker 7: about it is what you have to realize is what
• 8:45
  Speaker 7: you are doing is you are not just creating a
• 8:49
  Speaker 7: hostile environment for the individual that you're no longer with,
• 8:54
  Speaker 7: but you're creating issues for your children to have a productive,
• 8:59
  Speaker 7: real relationship with someone who would love them and take
• 9:04
  Speaker 7: care of them. Everybody is not out to replace a
• 9:07
  Speaker 7: mama or daddy. Everybody does not mean your children any harm.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: But when you.
• 9:13
  Speaker 7: Program your children to create havoc and to bring drama
• 9:19
  Speaker 7: to the home of the mama or the daddy that
• 9:23
  Speaker 7: is no longer with you, then you're cheating your children.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: You're cheating them.
• 9:29
  Speaker 7: But even in the midst of that, there is still
• 9:33
  Speaker 7: an opportunity if the two adults that are in the
• 9:38
  Speaker 7: relationship are mature enough to get past all of that.
• 9:44
  Speaker 7: Don't let the little people dictate your life, because they
• 9:48
  Speaker 7: will because they have been programmed to do certain things,
• 9:52
  Speaker 7: to say certain things, to act certain ways.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: They have been programmed to do these things.
• 9:57
  Speaker 7: And so what you have to realize is that that
• 10:00
  Speaker 7: we do our children a disservice when we decide that
• 10:06
  Speaker 7: we want to be hateful and bitter because we're no
• 10:09
  Speaker 7: longer with the person that is the mother or the
• 10:13
  Speaker 7: father of those children. So when you do that, know
• 10:17
  Speaker 7: that you're doing them a disservice. It's not based on
• 10:22
  Speaker 7: the couple, it's not based on them. You're mad, but
• 10:26
  Speaker 7: being vindictive. It does not pay.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: It doesn't pay because it hurts the children in the
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: long run.
• 10:34
  Speaker 8: Yes, it does, for the simple fact.
• 10:36
  Speaker 9: First of all, first and foremost, you have to be
• 10:38
  Speaker 9: grown because whenever you have a blended family, a lot
• 10:42
  Speaker 9: of times what happens is you try to cater to
• 10:46
  Speaker 9: your children because you're not with the mother or the
• 10:49
  Speaker 9: father anymore, and the children really don't like it for
• 10:53
  Speaker 9: the simple fact that, you know what, you're not my mom,
• 10:56
  Speaker 9: you're not my dad. Okay, but point in fact, i'm
• 11:00
  Speaker 9: either your mom or your dad. I'm gonna be that
• 11:03
  Speaker 9: regardless you had nothing to do with mom or dad
• 11:07
  Speaker 9: breaking up or however the situation went. But you know,
• 11:11
  Speaker 9: sometimes the children come and they'll roll their eyes and
• 11:14
  Speaker 9: they won't say nothing, they won't speak, and then you,
• 11:17
  Speaker 9: being a parent, a lot of times you'll say, oh,
• 11:20
  Speaker 9: they'll get past it, you know, they'll grow to it.
• 11:22
  Speaker 9: But it's not that grow too, because when I came up,
• 11:26
  Speaker 9: what I said, do that's what it was gonna be,
• 11:29
  Speaker 9: you know, And I was just respect, you know. But
• 11:32
  Speaker 9: today in times, you know, some fathers some mothers are
• 11:35
  Speaker 9: actually talk to their children and if he or she
• 11:40
  Speaker 9: was there, we wouldn't be going through this, that or
• 11:43
  Speaker 9: the third. And that's not the case a lot of times,
• 11:47
  Speaker 9: because I, like you said, just being transparent. My kids
• 11:51
  Speaker 9: said to me one time, well you never did all
• 11:55
  Speaker 9: of what you were supposed to do for me. And
• 11:59
  Speaker 9: I sit there and I thought about, you know, I'm
• 12:01
  Speaker 9: your dad, you don't talk to me like that. But
• 12:03
  Speaker 9: then like I never said anything, I let them finish
• 12:06
  Speaker 9: the conversation. And once they finished the conversation, I said, good,
• 12:10
  Speaker 9: now you're done, and now let me show you something.
• 12:15
  Speaker 9: I went and got the briefcase, opened a briefcase, gave
• 12:21
  Speaker 9: their girlfriend the paper and told him to say read
• 12:25
  Speaker 9: this to them. And the first thing out of her
• 12:29
  Speaker 9: mouth was, I don't see how your daddy made it
• 12:34
  Speaker 9: all that money he had to pay for y'all. And
• 12:38
  Speaker 9: then my child was looking like WHOA. I thought, I said,
• 12:43
  Speaker 9: see this is what I was trying to tell you.
• 12:46
  Speaker 9: One you can't wreck your children by doing stupid stuff.
• 12:50
  Speaker 9: Because it looks like the individual that I'm with we're
• 12:55
  Speaker 9: doing better than it was when you and I were together.
• 13:00
  Speaker 9: That has nothing to do with you. It was a
• 13:02
  Speaker 9: reason why you over there and I'm over here.
• 13:05
  Speaker 7: But let's let's make it clear, not married well together together.
• 13:14
  Speaker 7: And these are the things that we failed to realize
• 13:18
  Speaker 7: is the fact that you are creating.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: You are creating very very bad habits for the.
• 13:26
  Speaker 7: Children because when you lie to the children, the children
• 13:29
  Speaker 7: are eventually going to find out the truth.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: They're gonna know the truth.
• 13:34
  Speaker 7: And you know this, This goes back to my original point.
• 13:38
  Speaker 7: You can still create memories with very little. As he stated,
• 13:44
  Speaker 7: there was very little, very little because of what was
• 13:48
  Speaker 7: coming out of the household to take care of his responsibility.
• 13:54
  Speaker 7: We're never saying, don't get us wrong, We're not saying
• 13:57
  Speaker 7: don't take care of your kids, because yeah, you take
• 13:59
  Speaker 7: care of your truth.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: But when it comes down to.
• 14:04
  Speaker 7: Individuals being vindictive, individuals doing things just out of spite,
• 14:10
  Speaker 7: because they're bitter, because they're mad, because they feel like.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: You know, they lost, or whatever they're feeling. I don't
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: even know what they be feeling.
• 14:19
  Speaker 7: But whatever you're feeling, don't do that to your children,
• 14:23
  Speaker 7: because you are depriving your children. But even if you
• 14:26
  Speaker 7: are in this type of situation tonight, I want to
• 14:29
  Speaker 7: speak to you. I want to let you know, don't
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: allow that to deter you from creating memories with the
• 14:36
  Speaker 7: one that you are with, because you can take a little,
• 14:40
  Speaker 7: and when you are a good steward over the little
• 14:43
  Speaker 7: that God gives you, he will bless it and he
• 14:46
  Speaker 7: will make it much. We have created so many memories
• 14:50
  Speaker 7: on a shared a foot loan from subway, a bag
• 14:55
  Speaker 7: of chips from the dollar tree, and a drink, and
• 14:58
  Speaker 7: we have had so many memories because you know what,
• 15:01
  Speaker 7: that's a whole meal within its help, and all you
• 15:04
  Speaker 7: have to do is grab that, find the nearest part,
• 15:09
  Speaker 7: go sit, watch the ducks walk around the duck pond.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Create memories.
• 15:14
  Speaker 7: And these are meaningful memories. Can you remember how we
• 15:18
  Speaker 7: used to race to the last ship in the bag? No,
• 15:21
  Speaker 7: you ain't more chips.
• 15:22
  Speaker 8: Than I did.
• 15:23
  Speaker 7: You know these type of things, and these are things
• 15:25
  Speaker 7: that we can look back on and we can laugh about.
• 15:28
  Speaker 7: Because so many times people see us and they say
• 15:32
  Speaker 7: certain things about us.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: We hear a lot of stuff. A lot of chatter.
• 15:36
  Speaker 7: About us, but you don't know where we came from.
• 15:39
  Speaker 7: You don't know what we had to endure. And this
• 15:43
  Speaker 7: past weekend really helped us to see some stuff when
• 15:47
  Speaker 7: we had to listen about triggers, because you know, I
• 15:52
  Speaker 7: had to wade through a whole heap of stuff, not
• 15:57
  Speaker 7: a heat, a heat, a whole heat. Then like, okay,
• 16:05
  Speaker 7: I have to wait through a whole heap of stuff.
• 16:09
  Speaker 7: And I'm talking about a heap of stuff. And I
• 16:11
  Speaker 7: know that there are many others that are out there
• 16:14
  Speaker 7: that are currently waiting through a heap of stuff that
• 16:19
  Speaker 7: is not your stuff. But because you love the person
• 16:23
  Speaker 7: that you with, you put up with a lot of
• 16:26
  Speaker 7: unnecessary stuff that you should not have to put up with,
• 16:31
  Speaker 7: but you endure.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: And so this is the thing that I want us
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: to understand.
• 16:36
  Speaker 7: When we start doing these things, you never really understand
• 16:41
  Speaker 7: the totality of what you're doing.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Because you know you could gain a friend.
• 16:50
  Speaker 7: In the individual, you could gain a friend, but if
• 16:53
  Speaker 7: you never show yourself friendly, you miss out on that opportunity.
• 17:00
  Speaker 7: You really don't know and don't understand what you have done,
• 17:05
  Speaker 7: not only to the children, but to yourself. And so
• 17:09
  Speaker 7: while we were riding, we had the opportunity to talk
• 17:12
  Speaker 7: about some stuff. And this thing, these triggers, because there
• 17:16
  Speaker 7: are so many things that happen in a relationship.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: And you never really think about it's a trigger.
• 17:24
  Speaker 7: You never really think about stuff until something happens and
• 17:28
  Speaker 7: it triggers you to go back to that memory, you know,
• 17:32
  Speaker 7: because so many times you know, we have Lee has
• 17:37
  Speaker 7: baby mamas and you know what, we good. I'm good
• 17:43
  Speaker 7: with I'm good with some of them.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Let me put it that way. I'm good with some
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: of them.
• 17:49
  Speaker 7: I mean we we actually one of us have gone
• 17:53
  Speaker 7: out on double dates. We go to dinner, we sit it,
• 17:58
  Speaker 7: We're able to talk about We're able to be friendly
• 18:02
  Speaker 7: and I mean really be friendly, not that fake stuff,
• 18:05
  Speaker 7: because I know when you're faking. Not the fake stuff,
• 18:08
  Speaker 7: but really be friendly. We can go out as a couple, me,
• 18:13
  Speaker 7: my husband, her and her husband. We go out, we
• 18:17
  Speaker 7: have conversations. We're able to sit down and talk like adults,
• 18:22
  Speaker 7: as opposed to others that still try to drive and try.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: To steer.
• 18:30
  Speaker 7: On our life through conversations that really are irrelevant.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: You want to fix, You want to fix.
• 18:42
  Speaker 7: And when I say want to fix, it's something about
• 18:44
  Speaker 7: this voice right here, that it just does something for
• 18:47
  Speaker 7: you to hear it every four to six months. And
• 18:50
  Speaker 7: I'm good with that. But the thing is you I want.
• 18:56
  Speaker 7: I don't allow that.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: To deter my relationship.
• 19:02
  Speaker 7: It's okay, talk away, talk away, talk about whatever you
• 19:07
  Speaker 7: want to talk about, because at the end of the day,
• 19:10
  Speaker 7: I know the conversation.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Because we don't keep secrets. And that's what couples have
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: to realize. You can't keep secrets. You can't.
• 19:19
  Speaker 7: We had a common friend. He was one of my
• 19:22
  Speaker 7: ex boyfriends. He became his best friend. They actually used
• 19:28
  Speaker 7: to conversate talk once again. He his wife, me, my husband,
• 19:35
  Speaker 7: our families, good friends.
• 19:38
  Speaker 8: That's the difference in.
• 19:41
  Speaker 9: What people used to say and how people used to live.
• 19:45
  Speaker 8: Back in the day.
• 19:47
  Speaker 9: It was just like a giving I don't like you,
• 19:50
  Speaker 9: you should not like me, you know, And that's just
• 19:53
  Speaker 9: to me, just just dumb because what you had was
• 19:57
  Speaker 9: with them, what we have is with us. Now, move on,
• 20:02
  Speaker 9: Let's live life and enjoy each other's company, you know.
• 20:06
  Speaker 9: And it's just that simple. When you are secure and
• 20:09
  Speaker 9: who you are, then you don't have that problem. You know,
• 20:13
  Speaker 9: when you're making memories, that's just what it is. You're
• 20:16
  Speaker 9: making memories.
• 20:17
  Speaker 8: I don't do.
• 20:18
  Speaker 9: That nonsense where people say I've told all the pictures
• 20:22
  Speaker 9: and all that, and I say, you're just.
• 20:23
  Speaker 8: Dumb, really, because that had nothing to do with you.
• 20:26
  Speaker 9: You got pictures, you got memories with people, and you
• 20:30
  Speaker 9: get mad to tell your stuff up.
• 20:31
  Speaker 8: Why that's dumb. Let's just enjoy life for what it
• 20:35
  Speaker 8: is you be.
• 20:36
  Speaker 9: You got to be an adult about a lot of things,
• 20:39
  Speaker 9: and going back to making memories. Like she said, we
• 20:41
  Speaker 9: went and got the sub sandwich, halving it and we
• 20:45
  Speaker 9: laughed and talked, we saw the water. We laughed and
• 20:47
  Speaker 9: chilled and enjoyed and just think you say, a lot
• 20:50
  Speaker 9: of people say, are sub sound? Yeah, but remember when
• 20:52
  Speaker 9: you bought a sixth inch and the little deal with
• 20:55
  Speaker 9: the sixth inch, the chips and the drink. You were
• 20:57
  Speaker 9: good with that, but we were to get with that.
• 21:01
  Speaker 9: It doesn't take a lot to create memories, you know.
• 21:05
  Speaker 9: And when you have blended families, a lot of money
• 21:08
  Speaker 9: is not there. So you have to learn how to budget.
• 21:12
  Speaker 9: You have to learn and act. Before all that, you
• 21:14
  Speaker 9: gotta have some wanna do yes in you. Yes, you know,
• 21:18
  Speaker 9: let's do it this way. And here's the thing. These
• 21:22
  Speaker 9: holidays come every year, every year, so you got time
• 21:28
  Speaker 9: to plan for the holiday, You got time to spend
• 21:32
  Speaker 9: time with your children or your blended family. It's not
• 21:36
  Speaker 9: about me and mine and we're not gonna think about
• 21:38
  Speaker 9: you and yours. But we're together, you know, because a
• 21:41
  Speaker 9: lot of people, Oh that's my stepdad, that's my step mother.
• 21:43
  Speaker 9: I don't believe in all that. Oh that's my wife's kids.
• 21:47
  Speaker 9: You know, these are my No, if we married, we
• 21:49
  Speaker 9: are one.
• 21:51
  Speaker 8: You know. They used to tell me you can't you
• 21:52
  Speaker 8: get the cow in the cab.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: True.
• 21:56
  Speaker 7: And that's the thing, And I'm glad that you said that,
• 21:58
  Speaker 7: because so many times that's what people all saying.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's my wife's son, or that's my husband's son.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: People don't know how many kids I have actually given
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: birth to.
• 22:09
  Speaker 7: Because every one of his children, I say that they're
• 22:12
  Speaker 7: my sons or my daughters, whether they receive it or not.
• 22:17
  Speaker 7: I'm married to their father, so I did. I got
• 22:22
  Speaker 7: bonus children. And the thing about it is I don't
• 22:27
  Speaker 7: treat them and never have treated them any different than
• 22:30
  Speaker 7: I treat oh son any different than I treat my son.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: No different, They're the same. We treat them equal and
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 22:43
  Speaker 7: Some of his children have a cute little pet names
• 22:46
  Speaker 7: for me and different things. And you know, when you
• 22:50
  Speaker 7: get to that place to where you are able to
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: really have a relationship with them, you know, that's a blessing.
• 22:59
  Speaker 7: It's a bless It's a blessing on both sides. It's
• 23:01
  Speaker 7: a blessing for them to have the relationship with the
• 23:05
  Speaker 7: other individual, whether it's the male or the female, as
• 23:08
  Speaker 7: well as it's a blessing for that individual to have
• 23:12
  Speaker 7: the relationship with the children. But when you have programmed
• 23:15
  Speaker 7: your children and they grow up with these things in them,
• 23:19
  Speaker 7: it strains relationships. I saw a message or a comment
• 23:23
  Speaker 7: that came up about, you know, keeping it real, being
• 23:27
  Speaker 7: honest with their children as they were going through a
• 23:31
  Speaker 7: divorce with their father, and that is so very important.
• 23:35
  Speaker 7: That is so important because you're right, you're getting a
• 23:38
  Speaker 7: packaged deal. And the thing about it is when you
• 23:41
  Speaker 7: can be honest about what's happening, and I mean honest
• 23:45
  Speaker 7: because of the simple fact that there are some people
• 23:49
  Speaker 7: that tell their truth and not the truth. You tell
• 23:53
  Speaker 7: your truth because your truth is what you want the
• 23:57
  Speaker 7: children or.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: The child to believe.
• 23:59
  Speaker 7: Instead of telling the real truth and owning up to whatever.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Don't lie.
• 24:05
  Speaker 7: If the father is trying to be involved and you
• 24:08
  Speaker 7: just so bitter and out of source that you're not
• 24:11
  Speaker 7: allowing them to be involved, then say that. If the
• 24:14
  Speaker 7: mother is doing the same thing, then say that. Just
• 24:18
  Speaker 7: say well, you know what, I don't want you going.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Around them or whatever.
• 24:22
  Speaker 7: Right now, you know, you need to own up to
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: what it is that you're doing, not just trying to
• 24:28
  Speaker 7: push it off on the other person, because that also
• 24:33
  Speaker 7: creates havoit for the children, because now the children are saying, oh, well,
• 24:38
  Speaker 7: my mom and daddy they ain't never come around, they ain't.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Never want me.
• 24:42
  Speaker 7: The worst thing to see is when a child has
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: a separation between their biological mother and father and one
• 24:55
  Speaker 7: or the other promises to come and pick that child
• 24:58
  Speaker 7: up on the weekend. Out is sitting on already waiting
• 25:03
  Speaker 7: to be picked up, and you never show up, and
• 25:06
  Speaker 7: you never show up because you've had a conversation with
• 25:09
  Speaker 7: the other parent and you've gone through and whatever has happened.
• 25:14
  Speaker 7: And so now the child is suffering because of the
• 25:17
  Speaker 7: absence of a mother or the absence of a father.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: And so we have to understand that.
• 25:22
  Speaker 7: And this is the stuff that we actually dealt with
• 25:25
  Speaker 7: because of these triggers and this is this is something
• 25:29
  Speaker 7: you know, one of the comments my ex husband did
• 25:34
  Speaker 7: that to please his girlfriend.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: And so shame on him.
• 25:39
  Speaker 7: Shame on him because when it didn't even matter me
• 25:44
  Speaker 7: be and a wife, him having the baby mama and
• 25:49
  Speaker 7: we had baby mama drama, we.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Had baby, we had some baby mama drama.
• 25:57
  Speaker 7: It was never one of those things to where our
• 26:00
  Speaker 7: would say you can't, you can't go over there, or
• 26:03
  Speaker 7: they can't come here, or what have you. There have
• 26:07
  Speaker 7: been many many days that I stepped back, many days
• 26:12
  Speaker 7: that I took a back seat in my home to
• 26:15
  Speaker 7: try to make them feel comfortable, to try to keep
• 26:19
  Speaker 7: the peace.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: And so that's where the maturity level comes in. When
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: you have individuals.
• 26:27
  Speaker 7: That actually will dish their children for somebody else that's
• 26:32
  Speaker 7: not somebody you want.
• 26:32
  Speaker 8: To be with.
• 26:33
  Speaker 9: No, because there's no love there, you know, because what's yours,
• 26:37
  Speaker 9: it's yours, and it's just that simple.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 26:42
  Speaker 9: I ought to say, you tolerant to your dominie, you know,
• 26:45
  Speaker 9: because one thing about it, if you allow God to
• 26:48
  Speaker 9: handle it.
• 26:48
  Speaker 8: It'll be good after a while.
• 26:51
  Speaker 9: Because some things have to go through the cycle or
• 26:55
  Speaker 9: the turmoil for lack of better words, to get to
• 26:58
  Speaker 9: the good stuff, you know, because now that the children
• 27:02
  Speaker 9: are all grown, you know, we can talk as adults
• 27:05
  Speaker 9: and you know, questions can be answered. But think about
• 27:10
  Speaker 9: some of the things that you may hear, like, well,
• 27:13
  Speaker 9: I thought I didn't know, but look what you actually
• 27:17
  Speaker 9: took from your children. But one thing about me, I've
• 27:20
  Speaker 9: always been an open parent, and I've always told them
• 27:23
  Speaker 9: the whole truth.
• 27:25
  Speaker 8: You got brothers and sisters and all y'all gonna get
• 27:27
  Speaker 8: to know each other. And that's just that simple, you know,
• 27:30
  Speaker 8: and they all have a good time.
• 27:32
  Speaker 9: It's not your mama, your mama you no, no, that's
• 27:34
  Speaker 9: my brother, that's my sister. That's the end of it,
• 27:37
  Speaker 9: you know, And that's how we do that. But you know,
• 27:40
  Speaker 9: you got to learn to make time and spend time
• 27:43
  Speaker 9: together because if I'm with you and I love you,
• 27:46
  Speaker 9: then I'm supposed to love your child. You're supposed to
• 27:49
  Speaker 9: love my child. And we love each other and we
• 27:52
  Speaker 9: make this work. But we see that's the key, wrong work.
• 27:55
  Speaker 9: We don't make this work. It's gonna work, right, It's
• 27:59
  Speaker 9: just that simple.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: It's gonna work. And then you know, you have these blended.
• 28:04
  Speaker 7: Families where you have one one individual has children, the
• 28:09
  Speaker 7: other individual has children. Your children and my children are
• 28:15
  Speaker 7: equally as important. Yes, it's not due for mine and
• 28:20
  Speaker 7: don't do for yours, because that's not good. And it's
• 28:24
  Speaker 7: not that we're gonna cater to one and not the other.
• 28:28
  Speaker 7: Because there are there are many couples that actually split
• 28:34
  Speaker 7: and they go through so much and some of them
• 28:38
  Speaker 7: up in divorce because of the simple fact that it's
• 28:42
  Speaker 7: all about the children. Okay, if we're together, we have
• 28:46
  Speaker 7: a blended family, So then we need to try to
• 28:49
  Speaker 7: bring our children together so that they can learn one another,
• 28:53
  Speaker 7: they can get to know one another, and we do
• 28:55
  Speaker 7: things as a family.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: As a family. We're not separating.
• 29:01
  Speaker 7: It's not that you're going over here with your kids
• 29:05
  Speaker 7: and they Mama to.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Go to Disney with no no, no, no. The devil
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: is a whole line going to Disney World. We all
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: going to Disney World, me mind yours and not her.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: We all going to Disney World.
• 29:19
  Speaker 8: But that's the way it's opposed exactly.
• 29:21
  Speaker 7: But you see so many people that that do that.
• 29:24
  Speaker 7: You have couples that actually bring that divide. Well, you know,
• 29:28
  Speaker 7: you know what so and so said, We need to
• 29:31
  Speaker 7: take the kids.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Take the kids.
• 29:33
  Speaker 7: We need to take the what you mean me and
• 29:35
  Speaker 7: you need to take the kids, because that part of
• 29:37
  Speaker 7: we not taking the kids.
• 29:39
  Speaker 8: See what happens is.
• 29:42
  Speaker 9: If you're not mature enough or woman or man enough
• 29:46
  Speaker 9: to just stand up and be who you are called
• 29:49
  Speaker 9: to be, then that stuff happens because you know, like
• 29:52
  Speaker 9: all gonna look, we gotta go get the kids, and
• 29:55
  Speaker 9: I drop you off at the stove and I'll be
• 29:57
  Speaker 9: right back. But then they she can come to my
• 30:01
  Speaker 9: house and get the kids. But I can't go to
• 30:03
  Speaker 9: her house with you, No, don't. We don't do that,
• 30:07
  Speaker 9: or he can't come with the house. Either we gonna
• 30:10
  Speaker 9: go get them, or you can bring them here and
• 30:14
  Speaker 9: we'll drop them off. See, it's when you become one,
• 30:19
  Speaker 9: be one. So therefore be a man, be a woman,
• 30:23
  Speaker 9: because it ain't gonna drop me off nowhere, and I
• 30:25
  Speaker 9: ain't gonna drop you off nowhere. We together what to
• 30:28
  Speaker 9: drop in from because if she don't respect me or
• 30:31
  Speaker 9: you don't respect her enough to do that, No, then
• 30:33
  Speaker 9: what we got going on now?
• 30:35
  Speaker 7: Because we have that at one point, because you know,
• 30:38
  Speaker 7: baby Mama didn't like me for whatever reason, and you
• 30:44
  Speaker 7: can't bring her to my house to pick up the kids.
• 30:48
  Speaker 7: You can't bring her to my house to drop the
• 30:51
  Speaker 7: kids off. She can't go when you take the kids
• 30:55
  Speaker 7: this place, that place. You don't tell me what to do,
• 31:01
  Speaker 7: and you're not the boss of us. So this is
• 31:05
  Speaker 7: where we had to have some heated fellowship. We had
• 31:09
  Speaker 7: heated fellowship behind that, and we're being transparent to life
• 31:12
  Speaker 7: because we want to help somebody.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: We have heated fellowship behind.
• 31:17
  Speaker 7: That, because how is it that this person that's on
• 31:21
  Speaker 7: the outside feels that they have the authority to try
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: to dictate what happens in our marriage.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: We're not girlfriend and boyfriend. We're married. It's a difference
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: when your.
• 31:33
  Speaker 7: Girlfriend and boyfriend, because you are much right, it's a difference.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: But when you are husband and wife, that kind of
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: stuff should not be happening when your husband and wife.
• 31:46
  Speaker 7: And you know, I hear people say, well, you know,
• 31:48
  Speaker 7: we want to keep the peace or whatever.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's okay to keep the peace.
• 31:52
  Speaker 7: But you know what, if I'm sitting over here in
• 31:55
  Speaker 7: our car minding my business, I'm being peaceful.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: I'm being that's just real, that's just real. I'm being peaceful.
• 32:05
  Speaker 7: And so the thing is we cannot have double standards
• 32:09
  Speaker 7: when we are married. Now, when you just checking a
• 32:14
  Speaker 7: girlfriend and boyfriend living together, whatever the case may be,
• 32:19
  Speaker 7: then he is a much right. You are much right.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: So those type of things you have, no, you really
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: don't have.
• 32:28
  Speaker 7: A say in the matter because you're not married, and
• 32:34
  Speaker 7: these are When you become married, things change, they change.
• 32:40
  Speaker 7: But when you are just dating somebody, that's that's just
• 32:44
  Speaker 7: that you're dating them, because the day or tomorrow you
• 32:47
  Speaker 7: can get your grip and go and not look back.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: And it's a difference.
• 32:55
  Speaker 7: It's a difference when we're here together and we are married.
• 33:00
  Speaker 7: You know, when you got one of these things, it's
• 33:03
  Speaker 7: a difference because this thing right here, it connects you.
• 33:07
  Speaker 7: It connects you to that person, and so as you
• 33:11
  Speaker 7: are no longer this too, you're one.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: It makes a difference.
• 33:18
  Speaker 7: Because marriage and marriage vows they carry weight. Being my
• 33:25
  Speaker 7: girlfriend or my boyfriend, they don't carry no weight.
• 33:29
  Speaker 8: No, that's agreement. I agree to say that. I'm yours
• 33:34
  Speaker 8: your mind.
• 33:34
  Speaker 9: But when we get mad, you go your way and
• 33:38
  Speaker 9: I go my way. You can't get mad at me
• 33:41
  Speaker 9: because remember we was just dating, and you know you
• 33:44
  Speaker 9: said we was done, so I went out with him.
• 33:47
  Speaker 8: So what you mad for? You told me to find somebody,
• 33:50
  Speaker 8: you know.
• 33:51
  Speaker 9: So you had those little silly things like that, But
• 33:53
  Speaker 9: that's when you're young and you're trying to figure it out.
• 33:55
  Speaker 9: But you know, if you're twenty one, hopefully you done
• 33:58
  Speaker 9: got it figured out. Because if I'm with you, I'm
• 34:01
  Speaker 9: with you today, I tell you, what's that be? One
• 34:04
  Speaker 9: hundred with each other? And it's just that simple.
• 34:08
  Speaker 7: Yes, honesty is the key.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: And so we're gonna pause right here.
• 34:13
  Speaker 7: We're gonna take a station break, and we'll be right back.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: To let the healing begin. Hang tight, y'all.
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: Okay, well maybe we're not gonna take a station break,
• 34:46
  Speaker 7: all right, So we're gonna keep it moving.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: We're gonna keep it moving right here.
• 34:50
  Speaker 7: And I saw some of the comments where an individual
• 34:53
  Speaker 7: says that they always extend their hand for the sake
• 34:57
  Speaker 7: of the children, and that is so important because we
• 34:59
  Speaker 7: want the kids.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: To feel love. We don't want them to feel, you know,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: that they're not welcome. We don't want them.
• 35:07
  Speaker 7: To feel any type of way. We're trying to build relationships.
• 35:11
  Speaker 7: The Bible says a wise woman builds her house, but
• 35:15
  Speaker 7: a food pluck is down with her hands. So it's
• 35:18
  Speaker 7: very important for us to build a relationship.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: We're trying to blend these families.
• 35:23
  Speaker 7: We're trying to come together, and we're making the transition easy.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: At least we're trying to make the transition easy.
• 35:32
  Speaker 7: You're gaining, you're gaining, you're you may be gaining children,
• 35:36
  Speaker 7: they're gaining somebody else that loves them, and so that's
• 35:40
  Speaker 7: what we have to look at. We have to look
• 35:42
  Speaker 7: at that. But you know, even in that, we we
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: want to touch on another thing where we talked about
• 35:49
  Speaker 7: double standards. Double standards and these are triggers, and so
• 35:55
  Speaker 7: we had a conversation. We were just kind of going
• 36:00
  Speaker 7: back in our minds, you know, because sometimes you don't realize,
• 36:05
  Speaker 7: you don't realize what is there. You know, I believe
• 36:10
  Speaker 7: our first episode we came on with you know what
• 36:14
  Speaker 7: what are you bringing?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: What do you bring to this relationship? You know what
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: have you brought? And some of us we bring so
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: many dead man bones.
• 36:24
  Speaker 7: We bring so many things into relationships. We bring old
• 36:29
  Speaker 7: relationships into relationships, We bring people from our past into relationships,
• 36:35
  Speaker 7: we bring trauma and hurt and all these things. And
• 36:38
  Speaker 7: so we began to talk about some stuff that actually
• 36:44
  Speaker 7: when we were dating and different things that, you know,
• 36:47
  Speaker 7: it came up to our minds. And one of the
• 36:50
  Speaker 7: things that we realize is that a lot of times
• 36:54
  Speaker 7: when we're in relationships, we have double stamps, we have
• 37:01
  Speaker 7: double standards, because what the man thinks is okay for him,
• 37:07
  Speaker 7: he doesn't think it's okay for the woman.
• 37:10
  Speaker 8: What's the examples of that. Let me hear that.
• 37:15
  Speaker 7: Our conversation steals from people in our past. And we
• 37:21
  Speaker 7: were just talking about, you know, before we got together,
• 37:26
  Speaker 7: before we even dated people in our past, because we
• 37:32
  Speaker 7: just happened to run into somebody that I used to
• 37:36
  Speaker 7: kick it with, and so.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: This was the thing.
• 37:41
  Speaker 7: So he said, ho, you used to date this person,
• 37:46
  Speaker 7: and so I said, we used to kick it.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: And the funny thing about it.
• 37:52
  Speaker 7: Is I was using his words because when I say that,
• 37:56
  Speaker 7: when we run into people that he's dated in the past,
• 38:00
  Speaker 7: and I say, you used to day that person, oh,
• 38:03
  Speaker 7: we used to kick it. So so then we started
• 38:08
  Speaker 7: defining kick it, and so it was like, what's that's
• 38:17
  Speaker 7: not That's not the way that it's supposed to go.
• 38:21
  Speaker 7: And so you know, when we talk about kick it,
• 38:24
  Speaker 7: we may have two different definitions for the world, kicke it.
• 38:28
  Speaker 7: But the thing about it is you cannot live.
• 38:32
  Speaker 8: By double standard.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: You can't live by a double standard.
• 38:36
  Speaker 7: And the thing, the most important part of the whole thing,
• 38:39
  Speaker 7: the whole matter, was what.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Was in the past was in the past.
• 38:45
  Speaker 7: And so many times people will allow stuff like that
• 38:48
  Speaker 7: to come over into their marriage into the present. And
• 38:53
  Speaker 7: so you know, when you run into somebody that your
• 38:57
  Speaker 7: husband or your wife has dated back in the day,
• 39:00
  Speaker 7: might have been in high school, might have been a
• 39:03
  Speaker 7: crush in middle school, you know, might have been in college,
• 39:07
  Speaker 7: or you know, in their former life, that's nothing for
• 39:10
  Speaker 7: you to be upset and get all bent out of
• 39:12
  Speaker 7: shape about because that was before you.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: But so many people do that.
• 39:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and that's what you didn't know. I did not get.
• 39:21
  Speaker 8: I read that. I want you to know that I
• 39:24
  Speaker 8: know what you be thinking.
• 39:25
  Speaker 9: Right the point well, I said, you know, back in
• 39:30
  Speaker 9: the day, if you would have said that, I'd have
• 39:33
  Speaker 9: been mad and I'd have been upset. And then she
• 39:36
  Speaker 9: said why, I said, because when a man takes a wife,
• 39:39
  Speaker 9: and this is my wife, I chose you. This is
• 39:42
  Speaker 9: the one, you, my queen, you my everything. You're untarnished.
• 39:47
  Speaker 9: And then sum at your past pop up and you
• 39:50
  Speaker 9: usuld to date this guy? What back in the day, Yeah,
• 39:54
  Speaker 9: I've been mad now when you see somebody in my
• 39:56
  Speaker 9: past that, oh that wasn't nothing.
• 39:58
  Speaker 8: It was just kidding had you know? And I said, wow,
• 40:01
  Speaker 8: you see the difference.
• 40:02
  Speaker 9: But it's today in time people I know that are
• 40:06
  Speaker 9: truly grown, bro are steal that way. Yes, you get mad,
• 40:10
  Speaker 9: mad man, And I don't understand why exactly. I really don't,
• 40:14
  Speaker 9: because we're married and we're together.
• 40:17
  Speaker 8: You chose this. That was then, but this is what's
• 40:20
  Speaker 8: happening now. It took all of that to get to
• 40:23
  Speaker 8: all of this right.
• 40:25
  Speaker 9: And see, I'm confident in who I am because I
• 40:27
  Speaker 9: know exactly who I am.
• 40:29
  Speaker 8: So I've never been wanted them to get all been
• 40:31
  Speaker 8: out of shape like that.
• 40:32
  Speaker 9: But you have some people in your life, I will
• 40:35
  Speaker 9: get been out of shape because you know what, you
• 40:38
  Speaker 9: looked at him like, I remember that.
• 40:41
  Speaker 8: Okay, that's a little disrespectful right there.
• 40:43
  Speaker 9: Now you don't come on now, you get the whole
• 40:47
  Speaker 9: wig spent around, but that that's not what we're doing,
• 40:52
  Speaker 9: you know. But a lot of people got to mature
• 40:54
  Speaker 9: to that point. Yesterday was definitely what it was yesterday.
• 40:57
  Speaker 9: You can't get yesterday back. It's about today and moving forward.
• 41:01
  Speaker 9: If we're one, we'll one and one thing for showing
• 41:04
  Speaker 9: two things for certain.
• 41:06
  Speaker 8: If I was with.
• 41:07
  Speaker 9: You and I saw you and I'm like, yeah, okay,
• 41:10
  Speaker 9: and I know you used to date him, okay, and
• 41:12
  Speaker 9: then you know what they said, or I took her
• 41:14
  Speaker 9: from him or I took him from her, Okay, okay, No,
• 41:19
  Speaker 9: you can't take nobody. It had to be a choice.
• 41:21
  Speaker 9: But then that was him. But you didn't know she
• 41:24
  Speaker 9: used to date John Boy and Willie Rowe, you know what.
• 41:29
  Speaker 8: Yeah, but you take.
• 41:30
  Speaker 9: Barbara and Sally, Sue too, and Jane and oh Man, Yeah,
• 41:37
  Speaker 9: like that.
• 41:38
  Speaker 7: That's the whole point of the matter, you know it was.
• 41:45
  Speaker 7: It's the fact that the past is the past and
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: you cannot get anything from the past now. As she stated,
• 41:55
  Speaker 7: when it gets to be disrespect, then that's a different story.
• 41:58
  Speaker 7: But when you realize and what he or what we
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: are saying is so many times the man looks at
• 42:10
  Speaker 7: the woman when they find their wife, they're looking like, okay,
• 42:16
  Speaker 7: you ain't never dated nobody ever in your whole life.
• 42:20
  Speaker 7: You just you stepped right out of heaven or out
• 42:23
  Speaker 7: of glory wherever you came from. You stepped right into
• 42:27
  Speaker 7: this world just at this moment when I met you,
• 42:30
  Speaker 7: when I saw you, when you became mine. And that
• 42:33
  Speaker 7: is not the case, because we all have passed. We
• 42:37
  Speaker 7: have all dated somebody at some point in our life.
• 42:41
  Speaker 7: And so the thing is, men have a double standard
• 42:45
  Speaker 7: when it comes to that, because they can have dated
• 42:48
  Speaker 7: the whole sorority club. And if you say you dated
• 42:53
  Speaker 7: one person, oh my god, the world came to an end.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: And so this is where we're talking about double standards.
• 43:00
  Speaker 8: And so women have, yes.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: Women don't because women do. Women have double standards.
• 43:10
  Speaker 8: Get along with this one, but you won't get along
• 43:12
  Speaker 8: with it.
• 43:12
  Speaker 7: But we cannot have double standards. That's we can't in marriage.
• 43:17
  Speaker 7: We can't have double stands. And then you have to
• 43:19
  Speaker 7: just let the.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Past be the past. You know, if you're married to
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: this person, you became one.
• 43:26
  Speaker 7: You made the choice, especially if you're a woman, you
• 43:28
  Speaker 7: made the choice to take their name. You made the
• 43:32
  Speaker 7: choice to accept their name. They extended their name to
• 43:36
  Speaker 7: you and you made the choice to accept it. And
• 43:40
  Speaker 7: so when you accepted their name, from that point on,
• 43:43
  Speaker 7: it did not matter what was before you.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: That does not matter. And so that's.
• 43:49
  Speaker 7: Where we have to get to. We have to get
• 43:51
  Speaker 7: to the point of being mature. We don't live in
• 43:53
  Speaker 7: the past. We're creating our own lives. We're creating our
• 43:58
  Speaker 7: own memories. Were moving from the day that we said
• 44:02
  Speaker 7: I do into the future. And so when you when
• 44:06
  Speaker 7: you bring the pass up and you bring the past
• 44:09
  Speaker 7: into your fruit and future, or even into your present,
• 44:13
  Speaker 7: then you're creating that having you're making your life miserable.
• 44:18
  Speaker 9: Well, sometimes you allow your life to be missible because
• 44:23
  Speaker 9: you allow the individual in your past to still have
• 44:27
  Speaker 9: a part of your life because you hadn't turned that
• 44:31
  Speaker 9: part lookes yet, you know. So a lot of that
• 44:34
  Speaker 9: is not just that it's you, because if you put
• 44:37
  Speaker 9: your foot down and that's just what it is, that's
• 44:40
  Speaker 9: what it is. Because I've seen several different cases that
• 44:44
  Speaker 9: you know, we used to date and everything, and we
• 44:48
  Speaker 9: dating now, you know, but then when she called I'm
• 44:52
  Speaker 9: gonna go in here on the phone, or when he
• 44:54
  Speaker 9: called I'm gonna go in there on the phone. See
• 44:57
  Speaker 9: that that that's all left field right now. But you
• 44:59
  Speaker 9: and living together, that's crazy. No, if we together, then
• 45:04
  Speaker 9: you know what A I take this phone here, I
• 45:07
  Speaker 9: tell her answer, and I have people that say you
• 45:10
  Speaker 9: you you let your wife answer your phone. I said yeah, Oh,
• 45:16
  Speaker 9: I said you don't. No, I said, so what you
• 45:20
  Speaker 9: got to hide exactly? You know, because I don't swear
• 45:24
  Speaker 9: none of that, get it, answer it. I don't care,
• 45:27
  Speaker 9: matter of fact, see what they want, you know, because
• 45:31
  Speaker 9: I'm one hundred with myself. You know, I don't need
• 45:35
  Speaker 9: validation by having all these different people calling me or
• 45:38
  Speaker 9: afraid to talk to this person or that person.
• 45:41
  Speaker 8: See.
• 45:42
  Speaker 9: But you have a lot of situations where you have
• 45:46
  Speaker 9: somebody call you and the first thing they say, it's
• 45:48
  Speaker 9: your wife phone. Yeah she right there. You want to
• 45:51
  Speaker 9: talk to them? Oh no, I call you back. No, No,
• 45:54
  Speaker 9: say what you got to say because there's nothing going
• 45:56
  Speaker 9: on with See that's the open crack right there.
• 46:00
  Speaker 8: Talk say what it is.
• 46:02
  Speaker 9: Yes, you know, and just be be true, but to ourself,
• 46:06
  Speaker 9: be true. Don't lie to you exactly, because if you're
• 46:09
  Speaker 9: not one hundred with yourself, how you're gonna be one
• 46:11
  Speaker 9: hundred with the one.
• 46:11
  Speaker 7: That's with you exactly. And so you know, as we
• 46:15
  Speaker 7: say that we our phones look exactly alike. My case
• 46:21
  Speaker 7: is blue, his case is black. But they look exactly alike.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: So it does not matter.
• 46:27
  Speaker 7: Our ring tones are different. But if his phone rings,
• 46:30
  Speaker 7: he'll say, who is that? Answer that my phone is
• 46:33
  Speaker 7: the same thing. It's nothing to hide. Don't have no
• 46:36
  Speaker 7: pass codes on them. Pick it up, you can answer,
• 46:40
  Speaker 7: you can look through it, you can check it, whatever.
• 46:43
  Speaker 7: But all of that is unnecessary when you trust the
• 46:46
  Speaker 7: person that you're with. And that's what it boils down
• 46:49
  Speaker 7: to trust and love. And the thing is, if you
• 46:53
  Speaker 7: don't love a person and you don't trust the person,
• 46:56
  Speaker 7: there shit really be no reason that you are with them,
• 46:59
  Speaker 7: because because when you can't love a person and trust them,
• 47:03
  Speaker 7: then why are you with them? Why are you with them?
• 47:06
  Speaker 7: There's no we have no secrets. We don't keep secrets.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: And that's the thing.
• 47:13
  Speaker 7: When you can sit down and be open and honest
• 47:16
  Speaker 7: with your wife, with your husband, that's the best thing
• 47:21
  Speaker 7: for a marriage. Have conversation. You gotta have that communication.
• 47:26
  Speaker 7: You gotta be able to talk, and then you have
• 47:28
  Speaker 7: to be able to talk truthfully. And everything that comes
• 47:32
  Speaker 7: out of our mouths is not gonna all.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: Always be what you want to hear. You have to
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: understand that. Be mature enough. Don't have paperback feelings.
• 47:42
  Speaker 9: Why people put tracks on people phone.
• 47:45
  Speaker 7: Because they're insecure because they're insecured because they cheat and
• 47:52
  Speaker 7: they expect the other person to cheat.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: And that's my opinion.
• 47:55
  Speaker 9: And do you know how to take a t I said, what,
• 48:02
  Speaker 9: I track it on your phone? Say yeah, I say,
• 48:04
  Speaker 9: well how it got on that is?
• 48:06
  Speaker 8: I don't know.
• 48:08
  Speaker 9: But everywhere I go a few minutes later, my phone rings.
• 48:11
  Speaker 9: What you're doing this place? What you're doing? I said, well,
• 48:12
  Speaker 9: just turn it off. Just turn it off, and when
• 48:16
  Speaker 9: you get home, have a conversation. Why are you tracking
• 48:18
  Speaker 9: my phone? So ever, then that means they don't trust you,
• 48:23
  Speaker 9: or they don't trust themselves, because see, if I know
• 48:26
  Speaker 9: where you at, I can do what I want to do.
• 48:30
  Speaker 9: Check your phone, see if you're getting tracked exactly.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: And my feeling is it's crazy.
• 48:37
  Speaker 7: If you have to track a person, you don't need
• 48:41
  Speaker 7: to be with that person because you have some type
• 48:45
  Speaker 7: of feeling, some type of reservation that causes you to
• 48:50
  Speaker 7: track them. If you're tracking them for your confidence in
• 48:55
  Speaker 7: knowing where they are at every waking moment. But if
• 48:59
  Speaker 7: you are tracking them because that's convenient for you because
• 49:04
  Speaker 7: I can track you and I know your location.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: You so stupid.
• 49:08
  Speaker 7: You don't even know you being tracked, and so now
• 49:11
  Speaker 7: I'm tracking you and I can go over here and
• 49:14
  Speaker 7: do what I want to do. And you know, it's
• 49:17
  Speaker 7: just one of those things, you know.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: And I have somebody to say to me. Somebody.
• 49:21
  Speaker 7: They asked us over the weekend that we were at
• 49:25
  Speaker 7: the summit.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Oh you don't. You don't have a track on your phone? No,
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 49:29
  Speaker 7: Why why do I need a tracker? I don't need
• 49:32
  Speaker 7: a track? Oh well, this is the best thing. I
• 49:34
  Speaker 7: can take my phone and I can press this button
• 49:37
  Speaker 7: and I can see where they at.
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: What give you me?
• 49:45
  Speaker 8: Why?
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't understand that.
• 49:49
  Speaker 7: I understand you know, parents and children, But what are
• 49:53
  Speaker 7: you tracking a grown person for?
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Why are you doing that?
• 49:56
  Speaker 8: Now?
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: Infants an emergency or something like that.
• 49:59
  Speaker 7: Then that's a different thing where you can call and say, hey,
• 50:03
  Speaker 7: AT and T, can you ping this phone?
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: Can you tell me where this phone is located?
• 50:07
  Speaker 4: That?
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: But if I got the track, you baby, get on
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: because I don't.
• 50:11
  Speaker 8: Have time for that.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: That that takes up too much energy.
• 50:16
  Speaker 8: What was the last one? Oh?
• 50:18
  Speaker 9: No, see I do that because you know, if something
• 50:20
  Speaker 9: happened to them, then I know where they at.
• 50:23
  Speaker 8: I said, Well, do they know where you at. No
• 50:26
  Speaker 8: if something happened to you.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: And they don't know that they And that's the thing.
• 50:31
  Speaker 7: If you're concerned about something happening to somebody, let me
• 50:35
  Speaker 7: tell you what to do. Take the three letters I
• 50:40
  Speaker 7: see E and put that in your phone and put
• 50:43
  Speaker 7: it under that person's phone number, because that's in case
• 50:47
  Speaker 7: of an emergency. In case of an emergency, when law
• 50:52
  Speaker 7: enforcement gets that phone, they will they will see I
• 50:57
  Speaker 7: see E, and they know that you're the person that
• 51:01
  Speaker 7: they're supposed to contact. All that extra stuff stop it
• 51:05
  Speaker 7: because you're lying. You're tracking them because you don't trust them,
• 51:10
  Speaker 7: you doing something yourself, or you just nosy too.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: In some cases you just know.
• 51:18
  Speaker 7: You secure, you don't trust them, and you doing something
• 51:22
  Speaker 7: your own self. And that doesn't make sense if you're
• 51:24
  Speaker 7: grown and you're not married to a person, and even
• 51:29
  Speaker 7: if you married to them, why are you tracking your
• 51:30
  Speaker 7: husband or your wife?
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: And then do they know that you're tracking them?
• 51:34
  Speaker 8: See that right?
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: It does not make sense. And so we have to
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: be careful because a lot of.
• 51:40
  Speaker 7: This stuff, it brings about things that you really don't.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: Want to deal with in the long run.
• 51:46
  Speaker 7: Because when you track somebody and you know the location
• 51:50
  Speaker 7: of their ex house or whatever, and you just happen
• 51:56
  Speaker 7: to track them and you, oh, they over here by
• 51:59
  Speaker 7: sawing house. How about they might be working on that
• 52:03
  Speaker 7: street that day. How about the person that you think
• 52:06
  Speaker 7: that they to their house. They don't even live there.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: No more, they don't move. They ain't even in.
• 52:10
  Speaker 7: The state, They out the country, they ain't even It's
• 52:15
  Speaker 7: unnecessary because it just creates more problems for you because
• 52:21
  Speaker 7: then now when they come home, you got a whole attitude,
• 52:24
  Speaker 7: you mad. They don't know why you mad.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: You got the screw face and.
• 52:28
  Speaker 7: You just looking ugly and you want to start a fight,
• 52:31
  Speaker 7: but you really don't know how to start to fight,
• 52:33
  Speaker 7: because if you start to fight, then you're gonna divorce
• 52:36
  Speaker 7: the fact that you tracking them. Because if you said, well,
• 52:38
  Speaker 7: why were you on X y Z Street today and
• 52:41
  Speaker 7: you then they ain't gonna ask you, well, how you
• 52:43
  Speaker 7: know how you know that's where I was? Then what
• 52:47
  Speaker 7: is your response? Are you gonna lie, oh, well you
• 52:50
  Speaker 7: know so and so saw you? No, no, no, I
• 52:52
  Speaker 7: saw you over there on my truck.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Are you gonna tell the truth?
• 52:57
  Speaker 7: So you know this, we gotta be careful. We gotta
• 53:01
  Speaker 7: be careful with the things that we do because truth, honesty,
• 53:08
  Speaker 7: no secrets, and hell yeah, integrity and.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: Love number one. Love. You gotta love a person in
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: order to keep your marriage whole.
• 53:24
  Speaker 7: You have to love them and then you have to
• 53:28
  Speaker 7: communicate with them. If you say you love a person
• 53:31
  Speaker 7: and you never talk to them, you lie because you
• 53:35
  Speaker 7: gotta have some type of communication.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: You gotta talk, You gotta talk. You have to talk.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: Communication is key.
• 53:45
  Speaker 7: So we want you all to understand that they're gonna
• 53:50
  Speaker 7: be triggers in your marriage and in your relationship, but
• 53:57
  Speaker 7: don't allow them to drive a winch between you.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: Money brings out the worst in people.
• 54:07
  Speaker 7: People that have had it, lost it or don't have
• 54:11
  Speaker 7: as much as they used to have, and people that
• 54:14
  Speaker 7: have never had it and gain it and don't know
• 54:16
  Speaker 7: how to act with it. Create memories. Memories make you healthy,
• 54:27
  Speaker 7: make you whole, and they will keep you. I had
• 54:33
  Speaker 7: a friend to once say something to me that I
• 54:36
  Speaker 7: hold and I share it with others.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: In marriage, you have to keep it fresh and frequent.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: That means that you have.
• 54:47
  Speaker 8: To show love.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Show love. Love is an action word.
• 54:54
  Speaker 7: Show the person that you are with that you love them,
• 54:58
  Speaker 7: want to be with them. Memories it doesn't cost a
• 55:01
  Speaker 7: thing for you to make a picnic, get a blanket,
• 55:06
  Speaker 7: go sit out in the yard and just talk to
• 55:09
  Speaker 7: each other. Turn the television off and have a real conversation.
• 55:13
  Speaker 7: That's how you let the healing begin. So we hope
• 55:18
  Speaker 7: you guys have enjoyed tonight's episode and we want you
• 55:22
  Speaker 7: to join us again the third Sunday at eight pm
• 55:26
  Speaker 7: Eastern Standard time. We'll be back and we'll be here
• 55:30
  Speaker 7: for it. So let the healing begin.
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: The healing begin.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: Oh every first and third Sunday, eight pm Eastern Time.
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: Apostbly and Doctor Kennerley bring Healing to your mine.
• 56:01
  Speaker 4: Streaming on the Crew podcast network, YouTube, Facebook, Kick and
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: Twitch Fay Truth and Relationships. This is what your spirit's
• 56:13
  Speaker 4: been missing.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: Let the healing begin, Let the truth be told. Let
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: fabrise up. Never saw your soul, isn't it? There's some
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: trouble above it like the l
• 56:31
  Speaker 6: Love it's u