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Stress or Trauma? Understanding the Difference and What to Do Part 2 · Healthy Vitals

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  Scott Webb (Host): This is Healthy Vitals, a podcast from Summa Health.
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  I'm Scott Webb.
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  And right now in the United States, many everyday pressures
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  are weighing on people's minds and impacting overall mental health.
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  And joining us today is Dr.
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  Jennifer Knetig, a psychologist with Summa Health Behavioral Health
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  Institute's Traumatic Stress Center, to talk about how we can help ourselves
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  and loved ones and how she and her colleagues at Summa Health approach
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  treatment, listening to clients and more.
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  Jennifer, it's nice to have you back on the podcast.
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  This is part two.
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  So for folks who are listening, if you clicked play here on part two,
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  please go back and listen to part one and benefit from the conversation
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  that Jennifer and I had about just really sort of defining stress and
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  trauma and the differences between the two and how it affects all of us.
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  And Jennifer, for today's part, for part two, we're going to talk more about
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  treatment and what that looks like.
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  So, let's start there.
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  What does treatment and support look like for folks who are
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  dealing with stress and/or trauma?
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  And just sort of get into this and lay the foundation here for how folks,
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  if they've tried to help themselves, right, and now they're reaching out to
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  a professional, how you can help them.
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  Yes.
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  I think the first place we start with what might treatment look like for somebody
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  who's reaching out for help is that we acknowledge how hard it is to do that,
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  how hard it is to reach to a stranger and say, "Look, I'm really struggling."
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  So, we start with being human and doing what we can to build a relationship
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  with our clients who may feel like that's not an easy thing to do.
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  So, people out there if you're thinking, you know, I might need to
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  reach out, know that we know it's hard, and we're going to start with just
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  helping you to feel safer with us.
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  We are not applying a cookie cutter approach to it.
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  At the Traumatic Stress Center at Summa, we certainly strive to do what works.
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  So, we're using science to inform what we do, and we're always starting with
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  the relationship that we have built and we're trying to continue to build.
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  It's typically time-limited for people.
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  We know it's a big investment.
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  And we start in that therapy, in that relationship, you know,
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  building the safety and really exploring with our clients what
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  does healing look like for you?
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  So, like we talked before, trauma's different for everybody.
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  It shows up in different ways, and healing looks differently for everybody.
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  We don't just assume we know what you want.
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  Host: "Well, this worked for everybody else, so it's going
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  to work for you," right?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  Exactly.
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  How will you know when you're better?
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  That's the question we're asking, and then really building
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  out a plan from that point.
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  Scott Webb: Yeah, I love that, just that patient-centered care or in this case,
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  you know, sort of client-patient care.
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  And I guess it makes me wonder, like when it is trauma related—Jennifer,
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  like what kind of support and treatments are most helpful have you found?
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  I know it's not cookie cutter and may not be the same for everybody.
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  But really, what should folks expect when they reach out?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  So, I have no doubt, you know, the listeners are pretty educated and
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  they do a lot of research, right?
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  There's a lot of information out there about trauma-focused therapy.
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  We, as clinicians really, again, strive to do what works, what's
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  been shown to be most effective.
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  Prolonged exposure, cognitive processing therapy, EMDR, those
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  are some of the things we do, dialectical behavior therapy.
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  We have so many different options so that we can really try to
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  tailor it for the client's needs.
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  And again, really building out a plan that fits where they are,
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  their comfort level, all of it
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  Host: Yeah.
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  Yeah, as we're saying, it's all about the patient and what their maybe goals
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  are or what healing looks like to them, which is a case-by-case basis.
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  So if we care about someone, Jennifer, who's been through trauma, what are
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  the most supportive things we can do?
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  Maybe what should we avoid saying or doing?
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  We said last time, you know, try to not say to ourselves, "Get over it," right?
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  And so, we probably shouldn't say, you know, that to someone,
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  "Hey, just get over it, will you?"
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  But what should we, you know, say or not say, do, not do, that kind of thing?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  I'm glad you brought that up, because I think when we're doing that, you know,
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  and you may have a different view.
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  But when I'm thinking that, it's usually because I'm unhappy, I'm
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  anxious, because they're sad and I just want them to be better, right?
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  And I think that's what most loved ones, that's where they're coming from.
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  They just want the suffering to stop.
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  So, it's like if the fast track is, you know, "Just please, could
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  you just please get over it," then, you know, that's what they do.
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  So, I think big picture as helpers, as loved ones, as support, just
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  try to level set your expectations on what you actually can do.
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  Even if your listeners out there are mental health professionals themselves,
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  you know, if you have a loved one who's suffering, you cannot be their
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  therapist no matter how qualified, how much education and training…
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  Host: Yeah.
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  Best of intentions, but don't do that, right?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  Yeah.
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  You can't fix it.
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  It's hard for people to fix it when they're trying to fix it themselves
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  and they're really motivated to do it.
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  I think what we can do is strive to be non-judgmental.
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  So, you've got judgments that come up in your head, it's normal.
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  Hold them there and support.
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  Listening without advice, I think, is key.
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  I think going back to we want people to feel better, we want it to stop, so we
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  often jump into, "How can I fix this?
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  How can I help you make this go away?"
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  That is actually the opposite of what is needed.
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  So, like you were saying earlier, you know, some things not to tell
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  them, i think some common ones, you know, like, "It'll pass," you know,
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  "It's really not that bad," or, you know, "It was like 20 years ago."
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  Those things, they can be really invalidating for a survivor
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  Host: Right.
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  Yeah, those of us parents in the group here having this conversation
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  or listening, you know, same thing with my kids, right?
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  Sometimes they just need dad, mom, dad, whomever to just listen.
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  And I've had to learn that over the years, Jennifer, that tthey're
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  not asking me to fix it necessarily.
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  They just need me to listen and be their dad.
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  And I am thinking about that and connecting it to the concepts here
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  of stress and trauma, that sometimes folks just need to be heard and they
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  don't need you to repair, right?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  Such a great parallel, a great example, and I'm with you on that.
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  I'm telling you this.
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  And then, I certainly struggle myself with not shifting into it.
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  So, I would encourage you to be gentle with yourselves.
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  If you're hearing this and you're like, "Oh my, I've done everything
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  that they said not to do."
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  Host: Yeah.
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  And we talked last time about just grace and allowing ourselves a little grace.
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  And we may not be perfect at this.
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  We may not nail it every time and just do our best in those moments, of course.
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  And thinking about that, I'm thinking about sort of like, "Okay,
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  we've had a traumatic event."
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  And so, we're dealing with that.
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  But then, we add on, because you said last time, that not all stressful
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  things are traumatic, but most traumatic things are stressful.
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  So when we think about the stress and building on the stress, that chronic
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  stress, right, work, caregiving, financial strain, I'm sure it makes it
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  all more difficult, more challenging that we're already suffering trauma
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  and from a traumatic event, and then we add on, you know, life
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  and living and all of that, right?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  Oh, yeah.
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  That's a great-- Really a good point about, you know,
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  adding the life and living.
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  Since COVID, we see there's objectively more stress happening in the world.
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  I mean, there's more violence, there's more intimate partner
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  violence that, that happens after, you know, a natural disaster.
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  So if people out there are feeling more stretched, it's real.
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  And if someone has limited, like, emotional bandwidth before something
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  traumatic, then trauma can absolutely stretch their ability to be resilient.
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  And honestly, resilience is our default setting.
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  We are born, our bodies are designed to heal.
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  And so, kind of like chronic stress has a way of chipping away at that.
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  And if you're in chronic stress state, it can be harder, you know,
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  to take care of your physical body, your emotional self, your spiritual
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  health, if that's important to you.
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  And as we've talked, it can really undermine relationships, which is what
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  we really need to recover from trauma.
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  I would say that like self-care, just eating right, getting exercise
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  and sleep, we all have heard it from our doctors, and some of us roll
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  our eyes when, you know, people tell us, you know, doc tells us to do it.
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  That stuff is a buffer.
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  It's a buffer between you and trauma, and chronic stress can really undermine that.
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  Host: So, we talked last time, Jennifer, about how we can maybe help ourselves.
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  What can we do in the short term?
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  But let's think a little more long term here, frame this a little more long term.
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  Like, if someone feels that they're in crisis, feels unsafe, what should they do?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  So there are several options.
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  988 is something anybody can do.
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  You can text them, you can call them.
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  A real person, a human will answer.
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  I know people may be reluctant to do that.
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  They say, "If I do that, somebody's going to, you know, send the police
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  for me," though that I have a lot of clients that use that on the regular,
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  like at night when they're struggling.
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  Maybe they don't have anybody available to talk to.
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  So, it's a great resource.
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  People can also reach to us.
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  Traumatic Stress Center at Summa is designed to provide—I mean,
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  this is what we do every day.
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  We have a great staff here.
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  Host: Well, Jennifer, as I told you before we started the first recording, when
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  we recorded part one, that we probably wouldn't get to everything, but we would
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  hopefully be able to help folks, educate them a little bit, share with them your
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  expertise and knowledge and some of the help and resources that are out there.
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  Just as we wrap up part two here, what message do you most want listeners to
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  hear about when we think about trauma recovery, especially if they feel
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  like they should be over it by now?
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  Like, what would be your parting words?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  I think the key is, and we've definitely been hitting on this, I think in the
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  conversation, is recognizing that these things, these disruptions, being
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  haunted, being on high alert, struggling to connect with people, feeling, you
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  know, sadness, whatever it is, it's happening for logical, rational reasons.
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  Again, we are designed to heal, our minds and bodies, as they are to
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  promote our healing and resilience.
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  So if something's going on, rather than—and I know folks can feel a lot
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  of shame about it—but rather than labeling that as there's something
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  really wrong with me, looking at, "Okay, what do I need to know about what's
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  going on with me that I can't sleep?"
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  So, that's important data.
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  All of this is data.
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  And approaching it with some curiosity and talking to someone who knows about
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  trauma, I think, and if you can't, even just a safe person to sort through.
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  This stuff's happening for a reason.
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  Let's figure it out
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  Host: Yeah, that's well put, right?
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  Whatever happened, happened.
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  And we're now trying to make sense of it and to deal with
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  it in the moment and long term.
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  And then you add on things we've talked about here, the chronic
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  stress, work, caregiving, financial strain, whatever it might be.
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  It's a lot.
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  It's a lot for us, it's a lot for those around us, and it just may be time to
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  speak with a professional, a clinician, to try to sort through some of this stuff and
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  figure out what does healing look like?
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  What do I need to be able to live my life, right?
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  Dr. Jennifer Knetig:
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  Absolutely.
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  Host: Well, that's perfect.
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  I am so glad to have you on and benefit from your time, your
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  expertise, your compassion.
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  As I said, we have two parts here.
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  Please listen to part one, then listen to part two, and go back and listen to it
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  if you need to, or you can reach out to Summa Health Behavioral Health Services.
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  You can go to summahealth.org/behavioral
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  or call 234-475-HELP.
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  That's 4357.
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  So 234-475-HELP, 4357, and thanks for listening.
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  And if you enjoyed this episode of Healthy Vitals, we'd love
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  it if you'd leave us a review.
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  Your review helps others find our educational content.
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  I'm Scott Webb.
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  Thanks for listening, and we'll talk again next time.