Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Set Boundaries With High Performers
Transcript
- Lucas: You've got a star player on your team. They consistently exceed targets, they mentor others informally, and honestly, they make you look good. But they're also starting to overrule sprint priorities, they push back on every piece of feedback, and you're noticing other team members are quietly frustrated. Luna: Yeah, that's a tricky spot. Because on paper they're your best asset, but in practice they're becoming a liability to team morale. Lucas: Exactly. And for a new manager, this is one of the hardest situations to navigate. You don't want to damage the relationship with your top performer, but you also can't let them run roughshod over the team's process. Luna: If today was actually useful to you, the way these stay ad-free is listener support. You can find us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: Yeah, that's exactly how we keep this going. No ads, no sponsors — just listeners who find value here. So if you've gotten something out of this conversation, that link is a great way to keep us independent. Luna: Alright, back to our star player problem. You mentioned a real case — want to walk through it? Lucas: Sure. I was talking to a new engineering manager at a health-tech startup. She had a senior engineer who was producing twice as much as anyone else. But he was also unilaterally deciding which bugs to fix, ignoring the sprint board, and telling junior devs to 'just do it my way.' She knew she had to step in, but she was scared he'd quit. Luna: Right, because if you lose that output, you're suddenly in a hole. But if you don't address it, you're basically letting him set the culture. Lucas: And that's the core tension. A lot of new managers default to gratitude — they feel lucky to have the high performer, so they overlook the behavior. But the data shows that unchecked high performers actually reduce team performance over time. Luna: There's a Harvard Business Review study I remember — they found that teams with a 'brilliant jerk' who outperformed individually but damaged collaboration had net negative productivity after about six months. Lucas: That's the exact study. So the question becomes: how do you set boundaries without triggering a resignation? I think the first step is to separate performance from process in your own mind. Your star player is great at execution, but they're not respecting the team's operating system. Luna: So you're saying the conversation should be about the process, not their talent. Lucas: Exactly. You start by affirming their contribution. Something like: 'Your output is exceptional, and I want to make sure you have the support to keep doing great work. At the same time, I need us to follow the sprint commitments we all agreed to, because when those get overridden, it creates confusion for the rest of the team.' Luna: That's specific. But what if they push back and say, 'But I'm delivering more value by fixing this bug now, not waiting two weeks'? Lucas: That's a fair pushback, and you can acknowledge it. You say: 'I see your point, and I appreciate you thinking about the customer. But part of your role is to help the team improve their process, not bypass it. Let's talk about how we can surface those urgent items in planning so the whole team can prioritize together.' Luna: So you're redirecting their energy toward improving the system, not ignoring it. Lucas: Right. High performers often see rules as suggestions because they've been rewarded for breaking them. But as a manager, you have to show them that their long-term impact is bigger when they elevate the team, not just their own output. Luna: What about the junior employees who've been affected? Do you address that directly with the star player? Lucas: You should, but carefully. You don't want to turn it into a public shaming. In the one-on-one, you might say: 'I've noticed that when you give direction to the junior devs, it sometimes conflicts with what we agreed in standup. I need you to route those through me first, so we're giving consistent guidance.' Luna: That's a clear boundary. It's not saying 'stop helping,' it's saying 'help through the right channel.' Lucas: Exactly. And then you need to follow up. The next time they go around the process, you have a shorter conversation. 'Hey, we talked about this — can you loop me in before reassigning tasks?' Consistency is key. Luna: What if they threaten to leave? I've heard managers say, 'If I push back, they'll just go to a competitor.' Lucas: That's a real risk. But if someone leaves because you asked them to follow team norms, they weren't going to be a good long-term fit anyway. And frankly, the rest of the team will respect you more for holding the line. Luna: There's also the possibility that the high performer actually wants more structure. I've seen cases where stars feel unchecked and actually appreciate a manager who gives them boundaries. Lucas: That's a great point. Some high performers are testing to see if you'll lead. When you set a boundary, you're showing you care about the team's health. That can deepen trust. Luna: So let's say the conversation goes well. What's the follow-up? Do you check in on progress? Lucas: Absolutely. Schedule a follow-up one-on-one in two weeks. Start with: 'How's it going with the sprint process? Any friction points?' That keeps the dialogue open and shows you're invested in their success within the boundaries. Luna: And if they slip back? Lucas: Then you escalate slightly. 'We talked about this twice now. I need you to commit to following the process by next sprint, or we'll need to discuss adjusting your role. I don't want that, but the team needs consistency.' Luna: That's firm but fair. You're giving them a chance to correct while being clear about the stakes. Lucas: The key is to never make it personal. It's always about the team's operating system. And honestly, most high performers will step up if they see you're serious and fair. Luna: I think the biggest takeaway for new managers is that boundaries aren't punishment. They're actually a form of respect — for the team, for the process, and for the high performer themselves. Lucas: Yeah. And if you don't set them early, you'll be managing around that person's whims forever. Better to have the hard conversation now than to let resentment build across the team. Luna: Great advice. Thanks for walking through that case. Lucas: Thanks for the pushback. Next time we'll talk about what to do when a high performer actually does quit — and how to handle the fallout.