Latest / The Warrior Kings Podcast : Men's Self Help Masculinity Podcast / I Wasted My 20s - Here's What I'd Do Differently | The Warrior Kings Podcast Ep.102

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I Wasted My 20s - Here's What I'd Do Differently | The Warrior Kings Podcast Ep.102 · The Warrior Kings Podcast : Men's Self Help Masculinity Podcast

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I'm going to be honest with you, I have so many regrets.
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There are so many things that I wish I had known in my teen
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years and my 20s that would have made my life so much easier and
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so much more abundant. And today I'm going to share
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some of them with you in hopes that it sets you on the right
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path to living a fully optimized, leveled up life and
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crafting the life of your dreams so that by the time you're my
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age, you're more successful than I will ever be if it's your
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first time here. My name is Michael Riggs.
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I'm a full time author, entrepreneur, men's personal
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development and marriage mentor, husband and father of six, and I
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teach men all over the world how to live fully optimized, leveled
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up lives and how to have happy, thriving marriages.
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So if that's something you're into, definitely stick around.
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Subscribe to this podcast, subscribe to this YouTube
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channel wherever you're getting this because this is what we do
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here every week. And if you're on the YouTube
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version of this podcast episode, definitely hit the like button
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so that we can reach more men with these powerful messages.
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And today I'm sharing with you 7 Things every man must master
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before 30. So let's dive right into it.
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Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast.
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I'm your host, Michael Riggs here to assist you on your
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journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a
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man. So again, welcome and welcome
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back to the Warrior Kings podcast.
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It's great to be here today. It's great to talk to you today.
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If you're a regular listener of this show, the last couple of
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episodes sounded very echoey. That's because there wasn't very
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much in the new studio room, but I got some sound panels up, some
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things to kind of dampen the echo and fix the sound a little
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bit. So it is my hopes, I don't know
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yet because I'm just recording this, but it is my hope that
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this episode sounds way better than the previous last couple of
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episodes. But what we're going to get into
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today is the seven things that I wish I had learned, that I wish
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that I had been taught before my 30s in hopes, like I said, that
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it will help you in your life before you get into your 30s, or
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maybe it'll even help you. Maybe you're one of the guys
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who's listening to this, who's actually in your 30s, forties,
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50s, and you still don't know some of these things.
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I still think that there's going to be a lot of valuable
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information in this episode that can help you in any stage of
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life, regardless of your age. So with all that being said,
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let's dive right into it. And the first thing that I wish
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I had known that I wish that I had been taught is financial
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literacy. When I was growing up, I was
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taught pretty much nothing about money.
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I was taught nothing about credit.
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I didn't know how money worked. It just wasn't a subject in our
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household growing up, like the importance of money.
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Money was very scarce in our household.
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A lot of scarcity mindset. We didn't have a lot of nice
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things. We couldn't get new things.
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You know, most of the time my shoes that I wore every day were
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from Dollar General. But yeah, money was just not a
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topic in our household, or at least not in a constructive
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manner. It was more like fear around
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money. Like how are we going to make
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the bills? Can we get XY and Z that we
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need? Will we have food, tea, you
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know, that sort of thing. So I was never taught about
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money, how money works. Like I said, I wasn't taught
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about credit or anything like that and it wasn't until my 30s
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that I dove in and actually started learning about money,
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studying money and the things that I have learned in the last
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few years are completely mind blowing because if I had known
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these things 1020 years ago, I would be in a completely
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different life, a completely different financial situation.
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There are so many things that most of us aren't taught growing
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up that are kind of like life hacks around money.
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They can make your life a lot easier.
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They can give you a lot more freedom.
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You realize that money, something just to pay the bills,
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it's energy and it's the doorway to freedom.
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And there are ways to multiply it that are very, very simple
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that for some reason nobody tells us about or teaches us.
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It's like a gatekeep thing. But if you're a young man or at
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any point in your life that you're getting this message,
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start studying money, how money works.
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And the way that I did that was I started diving into books.
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I started watching content on YouTube about money, about how
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rich people view money, how they multiply their money, money
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mindset type stuff, right? There's a book behind me over
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here you might see on the bookshelf called the Psychology
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of money. That book alone just taught me
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so many things and completely blew my mind when it comes to
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investing. I didn't even know what that
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meant before. You know, you hear people say
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you need to invest, you need to do this and that.
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And it's just kind of like, oh, that's something that certain
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people do or whatever and doesn't apply to me because I'm
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just a regular average person. So I never really paid any
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attention to that stuff. But as soon as I learned what
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investing even means, so many doors in my mind were unlocked.
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You know what I mean? There's also a book that I read,
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Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which talks about the difference between
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assets versus liabilities and entrepreneurship mindset.
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Absolutely mind blowing book. So I would say Start learning
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about money as fast as you possibly can.
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Learn as much as you can about how money works because
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ultimately it's going to make your life, your endeavors,
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everything just way easier. You're going to have more
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freedom in your life once you start viewing money in the the
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right way. And the difference between how
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your average person views money and how a rich person views
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money, those things are vastly different.
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As soon as you start realizing that, especially if you come
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from a disadvantaged background like I did, you might think of
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rich people as evil, greedy, money grubbing people who cheat
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and wrong people. And that couldn't be further
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from the truth. Your average person sees money
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as like, let me get as much as I can, let me get as much as I
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can. Let me hold on to as much as I
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can. I use money to get nice things.
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And the way that rich people view money is more like energy.
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It can be exchanged for freedom. I mean, I don't even know where
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to begin with the subject of how rich people view money
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differently than the rest of us. There's a lot that goes into
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that. That would have to be like a 10
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episode series. But rich people view money way
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different than your average person.
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And learning that, learning how they see it will just blow your
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mind. It will open up so many
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opportunities, so many doors open up so many ideas, creative
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ideas in your head. But one, one thing I wish I had
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learned about when I was younger, and it's one of the
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most important things on this list is money.
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Start studying money, get some books, read 20 books about how
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money works, consume some content online, listen to some
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podcasts, learn about money. And the second thing I wish I
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had been taught and learned about when I was growing up is
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emotional control as a man, and that is the mastery of your
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emotions. I used to be a very angry
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person. I used to react very emotionally
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to things. I used to cry a lot.
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Even in my 20s, if something really upset me, I would cry.
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I'm going to be honest with you right now, me, the Warrior Kings
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podcast guy, author of Warrior Husband.
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In my 20s, I was very emotional, very angry.
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I would fly off the rails and I would cry.
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And this was before I began to learn what it means to be a man,
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what a man is supposed to be, what it really comes down to,
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what emotional control comes down to.
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It's not that you never feel anything.
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Some guys get it wrong and they think I'm going to quench my
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emotions and I'm going to be stoic and not feel anything.
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That's not what it's about. You're going to feel things
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sometimes. Things are going to piss you
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off. Things are going to make you
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angry. Things are going to make you
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sad, sometimes very sad. And that's OK.
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What emotional control is about is how you choose to respond to
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that feeling. Do you have control over your
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emotions? If something makes you sad, do
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you cry? Maybe sometimes, but not all.
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You shouldn't be crying at every little thing.
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You should have control of your emotions.
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If something pisses you off, you should be able to feel pissed
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off without flying off the rails and losing at somebody.
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So many men never take control of their emotions and it gets
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them in all sorts of trouble in life.
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It gets them in trouble in their relationships.
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They don't know how to navigate relationships and communication
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with women like I didn't in my 20s.
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Sometimes men fly off the rails and get in a fight and they ruin
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their whole life based on an emotion that would have been
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gone an hour later. They get pissed off, they do the
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wrong thing and their life is over.
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You have to have control over your emotions.
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That is self mastery. That is what being a mask man is
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all about. And when it comes to being stoic
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and manly, it's not about not feeling anything, it's just
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about not being a little bit. You don't want your emotions to
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drive your life. You want to be in control of
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your life. And if your emotions are
8:15
controlling your life, honestly, you might never be a happy
8:18
person life. Trust me, I have had plenty of
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opportunities to lose my mind, plenty of opportunities to punch
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somebody in the face, plenty of opportunities for road rage.
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Just like we all do. I am just in control of myself.
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I am in control of my emotions and I don't let those emotions
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dictate my actions. I am in control of my actions.
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So it's not about feeling nothing.
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It's about how you choose to respond to that feeling.
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Men should be unmovable, unshakable, not being able to be
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thrown off by anyone or anything.
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Feel the feeling, but control yourself and control your
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actions. Control what you can and what
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you can control is yourself. And like I said, you will be sad
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sometimes you will be pissed off sometimes you will feel like
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losing your mind sometimes. Sometimes you might even feel a
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little anxious and depressed. But it's how you choose to
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respond. Please keep that with you.
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The third thing that I wish that I had been taught, that I wish I
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had learned growing up before my 30s is communication with women.
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Listen, men and women are vastly different beings no matter what
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the world is trying to tell us these days.
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One huge mistake that I made in my past relationships as a
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teenager and in my 20s was not even considering that I feel
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differently and I communicate completely differently than
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women do. And a lot of the times I would
9:42
run into the mistake of saying like, you don't understand how I
9:45
feel or trying to force them to feel how I feel or trying to get
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them to be more like me. I guess I don't know, it doesn't
9:52
make any sense. But that's because I was never
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taught. I never considered that women
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are completely different than I am.
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Like, I don't know how to stress that enough.
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It we just operate completely differently.
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And as soon as you realize that and begin learning about how to
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properly communicate with women and how they operate, this
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doesn't just make your relationships better, like your
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romantic relationships, but it also changes your everyday life,
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your day-to-day life, how you interact with women, all across
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the board. Realizing that men and women are
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vastly different, learning what those differences are has the
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power to transform your whole life.
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I was about 2829 years old when I picked up the book The Way of
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the Superior Man for the first time, and that book completely
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changed my life. It's a book on communication
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with women, mostly in relationship, but it pretty much
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covers everything when it comes to communication with women and
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how men and women are different, like the polarity between US and
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how to navigate communication and relationships with women.
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I can't that book enough. Like, if you find yourself,
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like, struggling in your relationships, in your marriage,
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in communication with women, even you know any women in your
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life, you're like, I don't really understand how to
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communicate with them. I can't recommend that book
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enough. It will completely change your
11:05
life. But yeah, what it really comes
11:07
down to is realizing and learning that men and women are
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different. Our minds are different, they
11:11
operate differently, and we communicate in different ways.
11:14
This can save you so many headaches, so many problems in
11:17
your life. And also learning to be in your
11:20
masculine being, in your masculine role, being the man in
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your relationships and what that looks like.
11:25
Because learning this doesn't just teach you all about women,
11:28
it teaches you about yourself as well.
11:30
Because you see, oh, this is the difference between US and this
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is who I'm supposed to be in this interaction or in this
11:37
marriage or in this relationship.
11:38
This is my role. So this is how I'm going to
11:40
conduct myself. In order for this relationship
11:43
to be successful, in order for this communication to be
11:46
successful, I need to be in my masculine energy, my masculine
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core. So it will teach you that as
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well. The fourth thing that I wish I
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learned more about and had kept up with way better in my life is
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physical fitness. Ask any man in his 30s and up
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who is not fit, including myself, if they wish that they
12:05
had kept up with physical fitness better in their teen
12:08
years and in their 20s. And I guarantee you they will
12:10
say yes. I say yes because The thing is,
12:13
it compounds overtime. And if you're not building it,
12:16
if you're not keeping up with it, someday you just won't have
12:19
it. And that really, really sucks.
12:21
Aside from getting on TRT and going really, really hard, like
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it is very, very difficult. I can tell you right now in my
12:28
late 30s, it is way, way, way, way more difficult to get fit
12:32
and healthy than it is to get super fat and lazy.
12:35
The thing is, health and fitness compounds overtime over a long
12:39
time. And so do health problems.
12:41
And another thing that you need to realize is that it is a
12:44
lifelong journey. There is no point when you're
12:46
finished, you don't get super fit and healthy and be like, oh
12:48
good, I'm done. It is a lifelong suit.
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It is something that you have to keep up with.
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I want to stress this to you, if you were a young man, please
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exercise a few times a week, lift some weights, eat properly
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because like I said there, there could come a day when you're
13:04
like this is it's, it's almost impossible to reverse this.
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You know, we all think that we have more time.
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We put it off until later, like I'll get fit someday.
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There is no someday that someday is right now.
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Trust me. And accepting that it is a
13:19
lifelong thing, something that is going to be a part of your
13:22
life for your entire life. Accepting that makes it easier
13:25
to stay consistent because then you're not working for some goal
13:29
that you're trying to get to as fast as possible.
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It's just a part of your life. You say this is something that
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I'm always going to do and not being in a hurry about it, but
13:37
just doing your best, staying consistent.
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I mean, you're going to look better, feel better, and live
13:43
better by keeping up with your physical fitness.
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That is one of my lifelong regrets is not pursuing health
13:50
and fitness for my entire life. It is much more difficult to get
13:53
healthy and fit in your 30s than it is to get healthy and fit in
13:57
your 20s. And if you are healthy and fit
13:59
in your 20s, it is guaranteed that you will be healthy and fit
14:02
in your 30s. If you're not healthy and fit in
14:04
your 20s, it's almost guaranteed that you will not be healthy and
14:07
fit in your 30s and beyond. And remember what I said,
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fitness stacks overtime and so do health problems.
14:14
And you want to be healthy and fit in your 30s and beyond.
14:18
You don't want to be average. You don't want to be fat and
14:21
average. One more cool thing about that
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before we move on to the next one is in your 30s and beyond,
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if you are healthy and fit and if you have stacked that through
14:29
your 20s and your 30s, you're in the top couple of percent of men
14:34
across the board. Like there are so few men in
14:37
their 30s, forties, 50s and 60s who are super fit and healthy.
14:40
So you're getting way ahead of the game by looking ahead and
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saying I want to be one of those super healthy, fit guys when I'm
14:47
that age. The fifth thing on this list is
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effective communication and relationship building.
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One thing that I didn't do throughout the years is build
14:56
strong relationships, build strong connections with people.
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I was kind of a nightmare in my life when I was younger.
15:02
I wasn't a very good guy. I put it simply, I was an and so
15:06
most of the people who spent time around me, they didn't
15:09
stick around as I got older. We didn't keep in touch, you
15:12
know what I'm saying? They were like, I'm going to get
15:14
as far away as I can from that guy because I was kind of just a
15:17
super toxic person, right? And unfortunately, because of
15:21
that, this made so many aspects of my life more complicated and
15:24
more difficult. You know, by the end of my 20s,
15:27
there were no friendships. There was number support system.
15:30
There's nobody to turn to when I needed help with something.
15:33
It is so important to cultivate good relationships with people,
15:37
genuine relationships with people, and then those people
15:40
become connections that you have in your life.
15:42
As you get older, when you're in your adult life, you will have
15:45
all of these connections. And if you don't have those
15:47
connections, life is really, really complicated and
15:50
difficult. And it's not just about having
15:52
connections to get things, it's about serving others as well.
15:55
If you serve people well in their lives, if you're there for
15:58
them, if you take care of them, if when they need help, you are
16:01
the first person that they can turn to guaranteed to help them.
16:04
If you serve other people well, they will be happy to serve you
16:07
back. So I strongly suggest, I
16:10
strongly urge you to craft, cultivate strong relationships,
16:14
strong friendships, be the best person that you can be to other
16:18
people so that by the time you're in your 30s, you're not
16:20
living life on your own. And you have people that you can
16:23
turn to who have their own skills, who have their own
16:27
professions, people that you can turn to when things happen in
16:30
your life. You need to build a network of
16:33
people, a network of people who have their own trades skills.
16:37
Talent makes life so much easier and I I can tell you for sure it
16:41
is almost impossible to make friends in your 30s, especially
16:46
if you make the mistake of not keeping up with being a social
16:49
person. You haven't been flexing that
16:51
muscle, building that muscle, and now you're in your 30s, it's
16:54
like, holy crap, how do I even make friends?
16:56
Who do I talk to? How do I find people who have
16:59
similar interests? When you're in your teen years
17:01
and in your 20s, it's very easy to connect with people over
17:04
things that you're commonly interested about.
17:07
Way, way, way more difficult in your 30s and beyond.
17:09
Trust So again, I highly suggest that you build strong, genuine,
17:14
good friendships that you are good to these people that you
17:16
treat them well that you are the friend that they know that they
17:19
can turn to and if you keep that relationship alive, if you keep
17:22
in touch, if you keep that connection there, that
17:25
friendship will be for a lifetime.
17:27
The sixth thing that you need to master before 30 is skill
17:31
stacking, and this is one that actually isn't one of my
17:33
regrets. This is something that I did,
17:35
and this one actually has made my life a whole lot easier.
17:39
What you need to do is follow your hobbies and your interests
17:42
while you're young. Whatever you're interested in,
17:44
go full force into that thing and learn as much as you can
17:47
about it while you're really into it.
17:49
And you'll be interested in different things.
17:51
And what's happening with that is that you're stacking skills
17:54
overtime. And what happened for me is I
17:57
was stacking skills over the years that ultimately led to my
18:00
purpose, my calling in life. I was interested in so many
18:04
different things over the years that gave me all these skills
18:06
that all came together to become this what you're watching,
18:10
listening to right now. If you've read my books, it
18:12
became that I pursued all sorts of things before I was the
18:16
Warrior King's podcast guy. I've been into video and content
18:20
creation before and other genres.
18:22
I've written sci-fi and fantasy books.
18:24
Those are just a couple of examples.
18:26
But what I ultimately ended up doing was creating a podcast, a
18:29
video podcast, and writing books to help men in their lives.
18:33
I was stacking skills overtime, you understand what I'm saying?
18:36
So if you're interested in anything at all, if it doesn't
18:39
seem like it could be a career or an ultimate purpose, learn as
18:42
much as you can about that thing and trust me, it is leading to
18:45
your ultimate purpose. Stack those skills overtime and
18:48
someday you will say, Oh my gosh, I didn't know that doing
18:51
magic tricks was going to lead to this other thing.
18:54
You know, like you never know, Never stop learning and never
18:58
stop stacking skills. There's some guys who are
19:01
really, really great at one thing.
19:04
And then there are some guys like me who are really, really
19:06
great at a lot of things. And it is possible for any of to
19:10
be that person, be a lifelong learner, learn as much as you
19:14
can about anything that you're interested in.
19:16
And that is what I call skill stack.
19:18
And the seventh thing on this list that you need to master
19:22
before your 30s. This is the most important, most
19:25
critical thing that I wish so bad that I had, that I had done,
19:29
that I had learned about when I was a young man.
19:31
And that is cultivate a relationship with God.
19:34
Before I started learning about God, before I became a
19:38
Christian, before I even stepped foot in a church, I was a
19:41
nightmare in my life. I mentioned this before I was
19:44
completely lost in life. I didn't even know who I was.
19:47
And as soon as I learned about God, as soon as I pursued God,
19:51
as soon as I started to pray and cultivated a relationship with
19:54
God, my entire life changed supernaturally.
19:57
I could tell you the whole story right now, but again, that might
20:00
be enough for a whole episode. And I'm not just saying this.
20:02
I'm not just making this up like it completely changed my life in
20:06
a supernatural way. It took me from nothing, being
20:09
no one, barely. Had a job.
20:10
I was living by myself. My whole life had just fallen
20:13
apart. I was crashing and crumbling.
20:16
I mean, I cultivated a relationship with God, started
20:19
praying in such a short timeframe I I'm suddenly living
20:24
the life of my dreams with my dream wife.
20:27
I have beautiful children with her.
20:28
Our life gets better and better with every season.
20:31
And if God answers prayers like that, if God can change that
20:34
much about someone S life, I just wish so badly that I had
20:38
cultivated a relationship with God when I was younger because
20:41
how different could my life be by now?
20:44
I see it as kind of that compounding overtime effect.
20:47
We got a guy leaf blowing outside apparently.
20:50
You're probably hearing that, but imagine how much further I
20:53
could have gone if I had loved God, pursued God, prayed to God
20:57
sooner than I did. Because I didn't become a
20:59
Christian and start truly learning about God until my
21:02
early 30s. And like I said, it completely
21:05
transformed and changed my whole life.
21:07
My life would have been a whole lot better, a whole easier if I
21:10
had cultivated a relationship with God when I was younger.
21:13
And I believe that as a fact. And if you don't know where to
21:17
start, just start praying, just start talking to God.
21:20
That is where I started. I started praying again.
21:23
I say again because I, I prayed a lot when I was really young,
21:27
but I had fallen out of it in my 20s and I started praying again,
21:31
genuinely, honestly to God. And that's when things started
21:34
moving in my life. That's when things started
21:37
changing in my life. That's when somebody randomly
21:39
came into my workplace, offered me a new job, and then invited
21:43
me to church. Imagine that.
21:44
That's after I started praying. It's like this guy was planted
21:48
in my life to completely change my life.
21:50
God sent him to me. That's why I say miraculous.
21:53
Miraculous changes when you start genuinely pursuing a
21:56
relationship with God, and that starts by just talking to Him
21:59
and then by trying to listen to him.
22:01
And it's never too late. If you're one of those guys,
22:04
you're like, it's too late for me.
22:05
I've been too much of a piece of in my life.
22:07
I've done too many messed up things.
22:09
That is not true. It is never too late.
22:11
There is redemption for every person.
22:13
And maybe you've met Christian people before who are very
22:16
condemning. They're very judgmental.
22:18
Those people don't know true Christianity.
22:20
They don't know the true God. They don't know the true Jesus.
22:23
They don't know what they're talking about.
22:24
The entire story of the Bible is about messed up guys who God
22:29
used to do great things. The whole gospel, the whole
22:32
story of Jesus is that we are all sinners, we are all messed
22:36
up, and that's why we need a savior.
22:38
There is no one righteous, no one perfect, even though a lot
22:41
of quote UN quote Christians get that wrong.
22:44
It is never too late for anyone to build a relationship with God
22:48
and it is the most important aspect.
22:50
This whole thing. If I can give you just one piece
22:53
of advice, if you were to completely forget everything
22:56
else I said in this episode about how to make your life
22:59
better before 30. If I could just pick one of
23:01
those things that was the most important thing.
23:03
This is the one. So like I said, start praying,
23:06
start pursuing God. It doesn't have to be a whole
23:08
big thing. You don't got to like
23:10
obsessively change your whole life around it.
23:12
Just simply start praying, cultivate a relationship with
23:14
God, and trust me, your life will be a whole lot better
23:17
before you're my age. And if you take all of the
23:19
things that I've talks about in this episode today and you take
23:23
them seriously, you will be more successful by my age than I will
23:26
ever be in my life. So think about that.
23:30
And that's what I got for you guys today.
23:31
I hope you got something out of this episode.
23:33
I'm sorry about all the background noise.
23:35
It's really a struggle because this is a brand new house and
23:38
they're building other houses outside right now as we speak.
23:41
It's like a whole construction zone out there, but we're going
23:44
to get through it. I'm going to keep talking to you
23:45
guys. I'm going to keep putting out
23:46
episodes. Nothing's going to stop me, but
23:49
I hope this episode inspires, especially if you're a young
23:52
man, I hope that this inspired you to get ahead of these things
23:55
so you don't end up someday in future.
23:58
Regret, you know, that's a huge thing.
23:59
It's like regret, dude. When you start getting older,
24:02
it's like, man, if I had done so many things different, Don't be
24:06
that. Don't do that.
24:07
Know what you should be doing and just do it now while you
24:09
have time, while you have the chance.
24:11
There is no someday. Someday is either I did
24:15
everything that I should have done and I live a super awesome
24:18
life now, or someday as man, I wish I had done all of that when
24:22
I was younger because my life would be so much better than it
24:24
is right now. That is future regret.
24:26
Save yourself from future regret.
24:28
But yeah man, get out there. Kill it.
24:30
Level up every aspect of your life, a life of overflowing
24:33
abundance away to you. On the other side of you
24:35
deciding to make the switch. Make the change and level up
24:38
every aspect of your life, a life of overflowing abundance
24:42
away to you. There is a great calling and a
24:44
purpose for you in this life. You listening to this right now.
24:47
I love you, I'm proud of you, and I'll catch you on the next
24:50
one. Thanks.
24:50
Thanks guys. Bye.