Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #350 The Family Front Lines of Lockdown
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the time,
- 0:07Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers Now.
- 0:10Speaker 2: Well, the COVID Lockdown's drag on for New South Wales, Victoria,
- 0:14Speaker 2: the Act, New Zealand and if you're in one of
- 0:17Speaker 2: those areas, this is the week of COVID podcasts for you.
- 0:21Speaker 2: We're doing everything that we can to help get through
- 0:23Speaker 2: the challenges. Oh, by the way, if you're not in
- 0:25Speaker 2: a lockdown, we really hope that what we're sharing is
- 0:27Speaker 2: still useful. We think that it will be because it's
- 0:29Speaker 2: about well being, it's about getting through the really hard stuff.
- 0:33Speaker 2: Ahead of Mental Health Awareness Month next month, we're kind
- 0:36Speaker 2: of getting in early, jumping the gun because frankly, with
- 0:39Speaker 2: Victoria going through its ten bajilliant lockdown and Sydney and
- 0:42Speaker 2: it's eleventy seventh week of lockdown, it's it's just a
- 0:46Speaker 2: tough old time.
- 0:47Speaker 1: My name I was about to say I you told
- 0:49Speaker 1: everyone who you are.
- 0:50Speaker 2: I'm justin you are I'm KYI And we're the parents
- 0:53Speaker 2: of six daughters aged grade one through to moved out
- 0:57Speaker 2: and married.
- 0:58Speaker 3: And this is Happy Family's post cast today.
- 1:01Speaker 1: We thought we'd go to the frontline of family life
- 1:04Speaker 1: during COVID lockdowns. We've been talking about this a lot
- 1:07Speaker 1: lately and we thought that we'd get your ideas on
- 1:11Speaker 1: what's been the most challenging, how you've worked through it,
- 1:14Speaker 1: and we're really interested to find what the single biggest
- 1:18Speaker 1: challenge as a parent has been over the last few
- 1:20Speaker 1: years as we've dealt with the pandemic.
- 1:23Speaker 4: The single biggest challenge has been motivating my daughter to
- 1:27Speaker 4: do her school work. She's in grade one, so for her,
- 1:32Speaker 4: she has nothing to rely on. It's just her mum
- 1:35Speaker 4: forcing her to do work when she's one room away
- 1:38Speaker 4: from Earlo Toys.
- 1:39Speaker 5: I have a twenty year old daughter and she has
- 1:43Speaker 5: some mental health issues and addiction issues, and it's been
- 1:47Speaker 5: super intense to be a parent of someone in that
- 1:50Speaker 5: category during COVID, where the intensity of mental health is
- 1:54Speaker 5: increased and the ability to actually get proper help has
- 1:59Speaker 5: decrea And so that's been a really big mental strain
- 2:03Speaker 5: for me as a parent and for my twenty year
- 2:05Speaker 5: old daughter who struggles, and that's hard. Mental health is
- 2:09Speaker 5: hard for everybody, but if you already have pre existing
- 2:12Speaker 5: mental health issues coupled with addiction, it's been quite excruciating
- 2:15Speaker 5: to be honest, and that's been really difficult.
- 2:18Speaker 6: The biggest challenge has just been managing my own health,
- 2:21Speaker 6: my own mental and physical health, and just making sure
- 2:24Speaker 6: that I'm fit for my family. And my wife would
- 2:27Speaker 6: say the same thing. You know, we're much more aware
- 2:30Speaker 6: of what's going on around us and the implications of
- 2:34Speaker 6: COVID than our kids, so you know, we just want
- 2:38Speaker 6: to be able to deal with the reality but also
- 2:42Speaker 6: bring hope to our kids. And that's a bit of
- 2:44Speaker 6: a juggle. That's a hard one.
- 2:45Speaker 7: Kids look to their parents to kind of go, oh, well,
- 2:48Speaker 7: even when things when they don't understand things, they look
- 2:50Speaker 7: to mom and dad and go, oh, mum and dad
- 2:52Speaker 7: understand And at the moment, as parents, like we don't
- 2:55Speaker 7: understand what's going on, we don't have any control of
- 2:57Speaker 7: what's going on either, So we're literally all learning this
- 3:01Speaker 7: together day by day, trying.
- 3:04Speaker 8: To deal with the increased levels of uncertainty almost of
- 3:09Speaker 8: trying to manage expectations and keep on reminding them, hey,
- 3:15Speaker 8: you know what, everything's going to be okay. When you
- 3:19Speaker 8: don't really know what the end of the tunnel looks like, well.
- 3:21Speaker 9: It is very hard to get time to work on
- 3:26Speaker 9: your marriage and your relationship and have that time with
- 3:30Speaker 9: each child that they may need, you know, when they're
- 3:34Speaker 9: going through a rough patch.
- 3:35Speaker 10: One of the biggest challenges is just feeling like every
- 3:39Speaker 10: part of life that sometimes has different elements to it
- 3:43Speaker 10: now is all just smashed together in one big spot
- 3:46Speaker 10: and there feels no rhyme or reason or way to
- 3:49Speaker 10: separate one from the other.
- 3:51Speaker 11: Trying to find hope for my kids, trying to find
- 3:56Speaker 11: an end to the lockdowns, trying to find an end
- 4:01Speaker 11: to their isolation from their friends, and how we move
- 4:05Speaker 11: through it and how we get to the end of
- 4:06Speaker 11: it and how we get back to the way we
- 4:10Speaker 11: were before this all started.
- 4:12Speaker 3: Yeah, I love hearing these responses.
- 4:14Speaker 2: Parents on the WhatsApp group have said time has been
- 4:17Speaker 2: the biggest challenge that was from one person another person.
- 4:20Speaker 3: Really kind of gets to my heart with this one.
- 4:23Speaker 2: The lack of and cancelation of family holidays because they
- 4:26Speaker 2: provide that much needed being present together period of time
- 4:30Speaker 2: to connect, which is ironically practically impossible at home given
- 4:34Speaker 2: the restrictions that we're facing. Isn't it funny we want
- 4:36Speaker 2: time for connection and we rely on the holiday and
- 4:38Speaker 2: then getting away from the business because even though we're
- 4:41Speaker 2: in lockdown situation. So many families are saying, yeah, but
- 4:43Speaker 2: this is not quality time. It's so hard to make
- 4:46Speaker 2: that quality time and get that right. And more answers
- 4:49Speaker 2: that came through just very quickly. Somebody said, biggest challenge
- 4:52Speaker 2: for me is making sure that the kids get an education.
- 4:55Speaker 2: In fact, that was a really really popular response. Another
- 4:59Speaker 2: parents said the same thing home schooling two children simultaneously
- 5:02Speaker 2: during lockdowns. Five year old needs constant supervision to get
- 5:05Speaker 2: the school work done. At the same time, need to
- 5:07Speaker 2: continually motivate my nine year old to stay focused to.
- 5:10Speaker 3: Complete their work. Plus you've got all the usual stuff
- 5:12Speaker 3: to keep the family taken along, very little downtime for yourself.
- 5:16Speaker 1: How difficult has it been to see the impact on
- 5:19Speaker 1: socialization with your children.
- 5:21Speaker 5: My boys do a lot of gaming, and it's interactive gaming,
- 5:24Speaker 5: and so they're doing that with all of their friends.
- 5:26Speaker 5: And then my thirteen year old daughter is very social
- 5:29Speaker 5: and thirteen year old girls are chatting on all of
- 5:33Speaker 5: the platforms of social media and they're doing a lot
- 5:36Speaker 5: of face time, a lot of zoom calls, meets and
- 5:39Speaker 5: things like that. Socialization is up, But in my original problem,
- 5:43Speaker 5: it's all on screen time.
- 5:45Speaker 7: You're worried that if they do socialize with their friends,
- 5:47Speaker 7: are they going to be at the risk of getting
- 5:49Speaker 7: COVID you know, fluck for our kids who are at school,
- 5:55Speaker 7: because we're both essential workers. It's a concern for me,
- 5:58Speaker 7: you know, some days to think what I don't know
- 6:00Speaker 7: who they're mixing with, to know are they safe.
- 6:03Speaker 10: One of the hardest things is watching kids experience life
- 6:08Speaker 10: in a way that maybe as a kid, you'd hope
- 6:11Speaker 10: they not experience.
- 6:12Speaker 9: It's actually really difficult. It's pretty heartbreaking to see when
- 6:17Speaker 9: you know a party they've been invited to has been canceled,
- 6:21Speaker 9: or the numerous school camps that they've missed out on.
- 6:24Speaker 9: Socialization such an important part of development. It is just
- 6:29Speaker 9: heartbreaking and really hard to see kids struggling with the
- 6:33Speaker 9: fact that they're not allowed to do the things that
- 6:37Speaker 9: you know naturally, you know, we're born to be social,
- 6:42Speaker 9: We're born to you know, be interactive with others. So
- 6:48Speaker 9: it really is heartbreaking.
- 6:49Speaker 6: As a parent. It's so hard to see that they
- 6:51Speaker 6: are not getting the opportunities to play sport, or to
- 6:55Speaker 6: go into a classroom with their friends, or go to
- 6:57Speaker 6: kids birthday parties. You know, that's a big their childhood
- 7:00Speaker 6: that's so different to the one that I had.
- 7:03Speaker 11: This is their world now. It's been their world for
- 7:05Speaker 11: the last two years. My teenagers especially have really great
- 7:09Speaker 11: days where they're up and about and laughing and interacting
- 7:13Speaker 11: and having conversations with me, and there are days at
- 7:16Speaker 11: a time where they go dark. All I know is
- 7:19Speaker 11: that my kids are really a lot more resilient than
- 7:23Speaker 11: I gave them credit for, and I think in general
- 7:26Speaker 11: they're doing probably a much better job than some adults.
- 7:29Speaker 9: That I know.
- 7:30Speaker 4: My daughter is very much a little homebody, and we
- 7:33Speaker 4: do a lot of zooms with family members, so she
- 7:36Speaker 4: hasn't particularly struggled too much. She is such a social butterfly,
- 7:41Speaker 4: but because she's young again, she isn't at that age
- 7:45Speaker 4: where that pea socialization is everything, say, for example, for teenagers.
- 7:49Speaker 4: So for a seven year old, she's been okay, and
- 7:52Speaker 4: she's actually coped with that.
- 7:54Speaker 1: It really has had such a profound impact on our children.
- 7:57Speaker 2: And I think this is why the research evidence that
- 7:59Speaker 2: we've talked about all week is so important here. The
- 8:03Speaker 2: data say clearly that the more prolonged the lockdown and
- 8:06Speaker 2: the more restrictive the guidelines of the government, not the guidelines.
- 8:11Speaker 2: The laws around this lockdown are the bigger the impact
- 8:13Speaker 2: on connectedness on the WhatsApp group.
- 8:16Speaker 3: This is what some parents said.
- 8:17Speaker 2: It's been one of the hardest things I've seen my
- 8:19Speaker 2: three young children go through.
- 8:21Speaker 3: It's just so tough.
- 8:23Speaker 2: Another parent said, social aggression. They're still at school, but
- 8:26Speaker 2: they're not with their friends, They're not with the usual teacher.
- 8:28Speaker 2: There's no sport and training sessions, no social picnics, no playdates.
- 8:32Speaker 2: Teamwork is a bit of a thing for them in
- 8:34Speaker 2: KINDI is there so egocentric at that age, and I'm
- 8:35Speaker 2: seeing more me me me at home than i did before.
- 8:38Speaker 2: They were learning about working together with soccer and their
- 8:40Speaker 2: kindy class.
- 8:42Speaker 3: Interesting, just how hard the social stuff is, right.
- 8:45Speaker 1: Every parent just really wants their children to do well.
- 8:49Speaker 3: This is hard.
- 8:50Speaker 2: Those social relationships right at the heart of well being.
- 8:55Speaker 1: Have you found ways to compensate for the lack of
- 8:58Speaker 1: in person connections that children are missing from school and
- 9:02Speaker 1: a normal daily life.
- 9:03Speaker 4: My daughter's school does an online lesson every morning at nine,
- 9:08Speaker 4: which goes for quite a while, so she sees all
- 9:09Speaker 4: of her classmates on screen. That's why she's enjoyed it
- 9:12Speaker 4: and she's been okay with that.
- 9:14Speaker 11: I guess you do your best to encourage them to
- 9:17Speaker 11: keep up that contact with their friends online. You do
- 9:22Speaker 11: your best to get them up in the morning and
- 9:24Speaker 11: excited about online learning. You do your best to create
- 9:29Speaker 11: zoom calls with other family members, but it's not easy.
- 9:34Speaker 5: They really have great interactions, it's just completely on screen time.
- 9:38Speaker 5: I think the worst thing for my kids at the
- 9:40Speaker 5: age is that they are is actually exercise and outdoor life,
- 9:46Speaker 5: but socialization has been supplemented with the online platforms.
- 9:50Speaker 9: We're also very blissed to be a part of a
- 9:54Speaker 9: really nice little community in our street where the kids
- 9:58Speaker 9: will get to play this scooters or bikes or even
- 10:03Speaker 9: a bit of volleyball outside the front yard. I feel like,
- 10:08Speaker 9: you know, we can't deprive them of everything, and so
- 10:11Speaker 9: having that little bubble with neighbors almost like family, a
- 10:18Speaker 9: little bit of connection with kids of similar age, has
- 10:22Speaker 9: made a difference for our family.
- 10:24Speaker 10: I think it's just been finding creative ways to still
- 10:27Speaker 10: create that connection and leveraging the digital world that we have.
- 10:32Speaker 10: So whether it be watching a movie online together and
- 10:35Speaker 10: streaming it over Zoom, or watching it, you know, through
- 10:39Speaker 10: like a Disney Watch party or something like that together
- 10:42Speaker 10: house party apps and playing games and video chats with
- 10:46Speaker 10: friends and family members and neighbors, and it's just trying
- 10:49Speaker 10: to find ways to leverage digital assets that gosh, if
- 10:53Speaker 10: this pandemic could hit five years ago or ten years ago,
- 10:56Speaker 10: we just never could have done.
- 10:58Speaker 2: I think that most of the response is a really
- 11:00Speaker 2: along the same line. In the WhatsApp group, We've got
- 11:02Speaker 2: the same kind of answers there as well. People are
- 11:05Speaker 2: pretty much saying, doing whatever we can to get the
- 11:07Speaker 2: kids onto technology or having some physical time out and
- 11:10Speaker 2: about with their friends, so long as it's keeping with
- 11:13Speaker 2: the rules and the laws. That seems to be what
- 11:15Speaker 2: most people are saying.
- 11:16Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, and today we've gone to
- 11:19Speaker 1: the frontline of family life. We're asking you how you
- 11:23Speaker 1: are surviving COVID.
- 11:24Speaker 2: We ask parents what does a lockdown routine look like
- 11:27Speaker 2: in your house. Here's what they said.
- 11:28Speaker 4: We wake up. I work from home a lot of
- 11:32Speaker 4: the time, so I'm at home working. She wakes up.
- 11:36Speaker 4: I get her ready for her online classes. She does
- 11:39Speaker 4: her first online class, then she has some BRECKI and
- 11:42Speaker 4: she has a little bit of TV or playtime while
- 11:44Speaker 4: I finish off my work, I work very early hours,
- 11:47Speaker 4: so this actually works for us. I do most of
- 11:50Speaker 4: my work when she's actually asleep. In the mornings, she
- 11:53Speaker 4: has some time with me to work through the rest
- 11:56Speaker 4: of her curriculum, which is pretty heavy for a seven
- 11:59Speaker 4: year old. In fact, it take us a few hours.
- 12:01Speaker 4: We break for lunch, and then the rest of the
- 12:03Speaker 4: day is just free time.
- 12:05Speaker 8: I think a lockdown routine looks somewhat similar to normal life,
- 12:10Speaker 8: just because each of us as parents are essential workers.
- 12:14Speaker 8: So the kids still get sent off to school every
- 12:17Speaker 8: single day. So it's still in the morning, it's doing
- 12:20Speaker 8: the lunches, getting the school uniforms on, getting everyone up
- 12:24Speaker 8: and out the door. Then there are at school during
- 12:26Speaker 8: the day. It's only really after school and in the
- 12:28Speaker 8: evening that I really feel like things start to look
- 12:31Speaker 8: a little bit different because they're not necessarily out and
- 12:36Speaker 8: about with their friends or their cousins, and we're not
- 12:39Speaker 8: getting ready to head out somewhere and do those kind
- 12:43Speaker 8: of things. No after school activities, Yeah, all of the
- 12:45Speaker 8: after school extracurricular sports and activities, that's all gone, that's
- 12:49Speaker 8: all canceled, So it's just hanging around at home, and
- 12:53Speaker 8: I think we feel it more on the weekends too.
- 12:55Speaker 11: Well.
- 12:55Speaker 5: I'm a divorced mom, single mum, so my children. I
- 13:00Speaker 5: think one advantage, if there can never be an advantage
- 13:02Speaker 5: of divorce, is variety. So my children go one week
- 13:06Speaker 5: with me and then one week with their dad and stepmom,
- 13:10Speaker 5: So they have two houses that they're going between on
- 13:12Speaker 5: a week's rotation. So I think that's a lockdown routine
- 13:17Speaker 5: brings some variety that maybe families in one household don't have.
- 13:22Speaker 11: In a nutshell, lockdown routine looks like waking up, working
- 13:27Speaker 11: early for myself, finishing work, getting the kids up, getting
- 13:32Speaker 11: them online, getting them doing school consistently. Some days are
- 13:37Speaker 11: better than others, and then at the end of the day,
- 13:41Speaker 11: just wanting to girl up into a ball, have a
- 13:44Speaker 11: wine and sleep forever.
- 13:47Speaker 2: Research tells us so clearly that routine is so important
- 13:49Speaker 2: for children have a sense of stability, a sense of security,
- 13:52Speaker 2: a sense of predictability about life. And some families are
- 13:56Speaker 2: just nailing this, and other families it's so so difficult
- 13:59Speaker 2: with different aged children and so many commitments and parents
- 14:02Speaker 2: having to juggle work responsibilities.
- 14:04Speaker 3: It's such a tough one.
- 14:05Speaker 2: On the WhatsApp group, we had some parents say no,
- 14:08Speaker 2: they have not adapted to it at all. They're struggling
- 14:11Speaker 2: every single day, and I just I hear that and
- 14:15Speaker 2: I think, ouch. Another parents said they haven't. They just haven't.
- 14:18Speaker 2: They're in this constant wait till they can go to
- 14:20Speaker 2: their friends houses, till they can play sport, they can
- 14:22Speaker 2: go to swimming or nippers or playdates at the park,
- 14:25Speaker 2: or have some time away from each other. And then
- 14:27Speaker 2: they've just said this waiting, waiting, waiting for their friends
- 14:32Speaker 2: to come back to school. And six year olds are
- 14:34Speaker 2: not great at waiting.
- 14:38Speaker 1: Oh it's heartbreaking, but it really is.
- 14:40Speaker 2: They're really hard to get to school at the moment.
- 14:42Speaker 2: A millionailments each morning, one more extra. One gets super
- 14:46Speaker 2: defied and badly behave sometimes aggressive punched his brother this morning,
- 14:50Speaker 2: which isn't normal. Every emotion massively heightened reminds me of
- 14:53Speaker 2: when those bozos and the Big Brother House would say,
- 14:56Speaker 2: you know, everything's just so amplified in here.
- 14:59Speaker 3: Love that response.
- 15:00Speaker 1: You know, our seven year old has started using a
- 15:02Speaker 1: word that I think just encapsulates everything that we're experiencing
- 15:06Speaker 1: right now. I'm sick of them being so overprotective of me.
- 15:11Speaker 3: It's just like being controlled that's what's really going on here.
- 15:13Speaker 1: Unbelievable. Yeah, but it does. It feels like we're being
- 15:16Speaker 1: bubble wrapped.
- 15:17Speaker 3: Okay, what are you interested in.
- 15:19Speaker 1: I'm really interested to know how you keep a positive
- 15:21Speaker 1: outlook and how you're projecting that to the rest of
- 15:24Speaker 1: the family.
- 15:24Speaker 9: It is about trying to stay positive, trying to look
- 15:30Speaker 9: at the good and how well the kids are going,
- 15:33Speaker 9: you know, telling them that you're proud of them, and
- 15:37Speaker 9: you know, finding the positives in their behaviors and attitudes
- 15:42Speaker 9: and instead of you know, looking to the negatives and
- 15:48Speaker 9: the downsides of things.
- 15:49Speaker 4: I am naturally a really positive person, so I am
- 15:53Speaker 4: lucky in that way. My daughter is a really cheery,
- 15:56Speaker 4: happy little girl. So we're doing really well. I'm a
- 16:00Speaker 4: single mum family, and when she's with me, we just
- 16:04Speaker 4: make sure we have a lot of fun, lots of laughs,
- 16:07Speaker 4: and we just make sure that we've got each other's backs,
- 16:10Speaker 4: and I buy her lots of little treats. At the
- 16:12Speaker 4: end of the week, she can have a special treat,
- 16:14Speaker 4: she can have Chocky's. You know, like at the moment,
- 16:17Speaker 4: we're just doing what we've got to do to survive.
- 16:19Speaker 11: As a dad, I try my very best to keep
- 16:21Speaker 11: up the conversation with my teenage kids, especially maybe once
- 16:25Speaker 11: a week I will try and catch them at some
- 16:28Speaker 11: point in the day and just get them to open
- 16:31Speaker 11: up about where they're at, how they're feeling about lockdown,
- 16:34Speaker 11: how they're feeling about their friends, how they're feeling about
- 16:36Speaker 11: their online learning. And the most positive thing I can
- 16:41Speaker 11: do is to relate to them as a dad, saying that,
- 16:43Speaker 11: you know what, if you feel like you're doing it tough,
- 16:47Speaker 11: don't worry. Dad's doing it tough sometimes. But also dad's
- 16:51Speaker 11: having great days as well. If the weather's great, if
- 16:54Speaker 11: you can get out for a walk, if you can
- 16:56Speaker 11: eat your favorite food, or what's your favorite show online,
- 17:00Speaker 11: and these are little things you can do to keep
- 17:02Speaker 11: yourself positive about the day by day stuff.
- 17:06Speaker 5: Creating a really fun, spontaneous life outside of the regular
- 17:12Speaker 5: remote learning and school timetable is what we're doing to
- 17:16Speaker 5: maintain a positive outlook. Fun to me and laughter is everything,
- 17:21Speaker 5: and that's what we're doing well.
- 17:23Speaker 6: I think one of the big things for us is
- 17:24Speaker 6: just being intentional about being thankful and listening and sharing
- 17:30Speaker 6: the things that we're thankful for. We've been really disciplined,
- 17:34Speaker 6: I guess in having our weekly family meetings and making
- 17:38Speaker 6: sure that we start that meeting with the things that
- 17:41Speaker 6: we are really grateful for, and that tends to put
- 17:45Speaker 6: things in perspective for us adults as the parents, but
- 17:50Speaker 6: then that filters down to the kids. You know, nothing's
- 17:53Speaker 6: off limits, and we just want to be able to
- 17:55Speaker 6: have the conversations with the kids in a way that
- 17:59Speaker 6: gives some peace and helps them to know that this
- 18:03Speaker 6: thing will end.
- 18:04Speaker 1: I think one of the trickiest things as a parent
- 18:07Speaker 1: living in this situation right now is being able to
- 18:12Speaker 1: find a positive when you're managing all of the other
- 18:16Speaker 1: emotions in the home.
- 18:18Speaker 2: Can I give my favorite hint here, Yeah, psychological distance
- 18:21Speaker 2: create space where you kind of where you think to
- 18:25Speaker 2: yourself in ten years time, when we look back on this,
- 18:28Speaker 2: what do I want my kids.
- 18:29Speaker 3: Memories to be? To me?
- 18:31Speaker 2: That's the best way to keep a positive out look,
- 18:32Speaker 2: because we want our kids to look back on this
- 18:35Speaker 2: lockdown thing and instead of saying, oh, that was the
- 18:37Speaker 2: worst period of my life, we want them to look
- 18:39Speaker 2: back and say, I just remember how much family time
- 18:42Speaker 2: we got, or I just remember how we used to
- 18:44Speaker 2: do puzzles or reading every night. I mean, our kids
- 18:47Speaker 2: are hopefully going to say, I remember that Dad didn't
- 18:49Speaker 2: travel for two years because until COVID hit, I was
- 18:53Speaker 2: traveling one hundred and twenty nights a year so I
- 18:55Speaker 2: could give talks around the country and I don't travel anymore.
- 18:58Speaker 2: I want them to look back and say, this was
- 19:00Speaker 2: the time when our family really came together. And I
- 19:02Speaker 2: think every family will have something that's unique to them
- 19:06Speaker 2: that will allow them to be able to say, Okay,
- 19:08Speaker 2: this is how we keep the positive outlook, this is
- 19:10Speaker 2: how we focus on this because these are hard times,
- 19:13Speaker 2: but they're special times.
- 19:14Speaker 3: I love talking to people and saying, what's.
- 19:16Speaker 2: The best thing that happened to you in the last year,
- 19:18Speaker 2: what's the worst thing that happened to you in the
- 19:20Speaker 2: last year, And quite often they'll be the same. And
- 19:23Speaker 2: I think the COVID is one of the worst things
- 19:25Speaker 2: that could have happened to us, and yet if we
- 19:27Speaker 2: have the right mindset, it could be one of the
- 19:29Speaker 2: best things that have happened to us.
- 19:31Speaker 1: For other families and parents who are going through this
- 19:34Speaker 1: incredibly challenging time in lockdown, what is your message to them?
- 19:38Speaker 4: I would say to them that they are incredible, They
- 19:42Speaker 4: are warriors. We've never been trained for this. We have
- 19:46Speaker 4: never been prepared for this, and we've never ever had
- 19:48Speaker 4: to deal with this before, and we are doing it.
- 19:50Speaker 4: Day by day. We're doing it and that shows how
- 19:53Speaker 4: incredibly resilient we are. And I know that through adversity
- 19:56Speaker 4: that's when character grows. So I feel like, as tough
- 19:59Speaker 4: as this is, all come out of it better, stronger, kinder,
- 20:02Speaker 4: more compassionate people, including our children.
- 20:05Speaker 5: Change it up, do something different. Keep the boundaries that
- 20:08Speaker 5: have to stay, you know, remote learning, clean up your room,
- 20:13Speaker 5: you know some of those things that are good disciplines,
- 20:15Speaker 5: but throw away the boundaries you have no rhyme or
- 20:18Speaker 5: reason for, and have some fun in spontaneous moments.
- 20:22Speaker 11: The biggest message I would send to families that are
- 20:26Speaker 11: going through this incredibly challenging time during lockdown is to
- 20:31Speaker 11: not compare yourself to anyone on social media, to anyone
- 20:37Speaker 11: that tells you that they are flying during lockdown.
- 20:40Speaker 3: It's great.
- 20:41Speaker 11: If people are flying during lockdown, that's great, But if
- 20:43Speaker 11: you're not, the last thing you want to do is
- 20:46Speaker 11: go online and see how perfect everybody else's life is.
- 20:49Speaker 11: The tip is that no one's having a perfect life
- 20:52Speaker 11: during lockdown, and if you're struggling, and if you feel
- 20:54Speaker 11: like you're failing as a parent, if you feel like
- 20:56Speaker 11: you're not up to.
- 20:56Speaker 3: Scratch, it's okay. You do it the best that you
- 21:00Speaker 3: can do.
- 21:01Speaker 9: You don't have to be perfect, you just have to
- 21:03Speaker 9: be good enough. But you know, as attuned to them
- 21:07Speaker 9: as you can be. Yeah, focus on the positives, find
- 21:12Speaker 9: something in your day you can be thankful for, and
- 21:15Speaker 9: make the most of the family time you can have
- 21:19Speaker 9: with them.
- 21:19Speaker 1: There's some really awesome ideas there. And if you can
- 21:22Speaker 1: find a way to make an adventure out of this
- 21:25Speaker 1: crazy life experience that we find ourselves in, your kids
- 21:28Speaker 1: are going to have some amazing memories.
- 21:31Speaker 2: Well, we really hope that you've found this podcast helpful
- 21:33Speaker 2: if you're going through lockdown situations or even.
- 21:35Speaker 3: If your family's just in a little bit of an
- 21:37Speaker 3: upheaval at the moment.
- 21:38Speaker 2: Some really nice ideas, some words of wisdom, and hopefully
- 21:42Speaker 2: some wonderfully encouraging thoughts and ideas for you. The Happy
- 21:46Speaker 2: Families podcast is produced so expertly by Justin Ruland from
- 21:50Speaker 2: Bridge Media Jr. We appreciate the enormous amount of work
- 21:53Speaker 2: that you do to make the podcast sound great.
- 21:55Speaker 3: Thank you.
- 21:56Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer, and Craig, as always,
- 21:59Speaker 2: we thank you for your ideas and the long, long
- 22:02Speaker 2: conversations that we have as we try to refine how
- 22:04Speaker 2: to make this podcast sound great for those.
- 22:07Speaker 3: Time poor parents who just want answers Now.
- 22:09Speaker 2: If you would like more answers, more premium content, more
- 22:12Speaker 2: opportunities to make your family happier, we recommend that you
- 22:14Speaker 2: take a look at happy families dot com dot you,
- 22:16Speaker 2: but especially have a look at the Happy Families memberships,
- 22:19Speaker 2: premium content including webinars, articles, and a whole lot more
- 22:24Speaker 2: just for your family, because a happy family doesn't just happen.
- 22:28Speaker 2: Happy Families memberships are available at happy families dot com
- 22:31Speaker 2: dot a you