Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 263. Divorce’s Hidden Door to Financial Freedom, Confidence, and a Life That Finally Fits

Transcript

263. Divorce’s Hidden Door to Financial Freedom, Confidence, and a Life That Finally Fits · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is for my ladies who have ever either owned their own business or dreamed of owning their own business, or owned their own business and was like overwhelmed, tired, couldn't figure out how to craft it into the thing that they needed it to be at the time, and are also going through divorce.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I want you to help me.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Welcome Amber Shaw.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: She is my new she doesn't know this yet best friend, who has a top-ranked podcast, the Divorce Revolution, and she is going to talk to us today about how to create autonomy and financial independence during this effed up season of your life.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave and build back your confidence.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, Dawn Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer and divorcee.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Confidence After Divorce.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Amber welcome oh my gosh, dawn.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me and I'm so glad we're best friends now, I love that.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, now that you've gotten the memo, yeah girl, I'm here for it.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, let's go.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit about how you got here.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Right, you have a background in business.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I believe I do.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was in sales for about 20 years in corporate America, sales and marketing for about 20 years.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: And when I was and I had a very successful, very lucrative sales job and I was married, had two beautiful children and everything I was actually married to the man that I'd known since I was seven years old.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: That's a story.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Met in second grade, the whole thing, and so my life was good, my life was On paper.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: On paper, my life was good on paper, yeah, for a long time, until it wasn't.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: And when I hit a 40, right around, right around 40, 39, 40, my marriage completely imploded and it was one of the most devastating and tumultuous times of my life.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: I think the listeners you know who are navigating everybody can understand and agree with those with those words, right, it's very, it can be traumatizing all the things.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: It was all those things for me, and right around this time, I've always been let me back up, I was going to say I've always been, I think, the kind of person that really strives to find the meaning in things.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Right, it's always like okay so I'm here.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Let's turn this pain into purpose.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, I've just always, and I think after the death of my father, it's really what kind of catapulted me into that mindset.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: And so when I got divorced, I, just for my own sanity, I refused to.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Or when I was navigating that season of my life, I refused to believe that it was all in vain.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: I refused to believe that there wasn't some bigger and higher purpose for why I was navigating this.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: And so I I went on a quest, I started my own kind of spiritual awakening, my own healing journey, and out of this process I realized that I really wanted to start a side hustle.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: I had this craving to help other women.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what that would look like as far as helping other women, but I also knew I was faced with kind of some of these, the emotional, like the emotional draw to wanting to start my own business, which was, you know, I wanted a passion project, I wanted some purpose, I wanted to help women.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be able to, quite frankly, distract myself from you myself from the shit show that was my life at the time Something different to focus on, that felt like you could make an impact Absolutely, and so that was kind of some of the emotional aspects of it.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: But then also from a practical standpoint, I was like, oh shit, like I'm going from two incomes to one.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: My ex-husband is a very successful attorney.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I was used to a very lush lifestyle going from two incomes to one.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: My my ex-husband is a very successful attorney.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I was used to a very lush lifestyle going from two incomes to one.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Now I'm going to be single momming it.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: My kids are very active.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: How am I going to handle drop off and pick up and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and all of this?
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Like I need to make more money but I need to do it in a way that gives me freedom and autonomy and where I am still maintaining the flexibility in my schedule.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: And so after a lot of soul searching, I was like, okay, like we're going to start a side hustle, and that is what that looked like.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: My first business was in the health and wellness space.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I launched it just kind of leaning into my passions of health and wellness and fitness and nutrition and all of that, and I did that for about three.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: I ran and I scaled a very successful company.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Within the first year I scaled it to a six-figure business.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: After year two, I'd seen enough promise to where I left my you know multiple-figure, six-figure sales job and I bet on myself and I went all in and so I did that for a while and probably about I did this.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: So I launched in 2019.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: And so I did that for a while and probably about I did this.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: I launched in 2019 and then about towards the end of like mid 2020, mid 2023, I was like you know, this, ain't it?
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: This ain't it, I love health and wellness, but something and I'm a very spiritual person and I just felt the universe, I felt God nudging me like this is this is not where you're supposed to be.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: And so I made the really tough decision at the end of 2023, shut down my health and wellness business and do a radical pivot and really start leaning into my divorce story and yeah, and so that is really.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: And then you know, gosh, and you know like, if you ever really, I think, if you ever in your lifetime have the privilege of stepping into alignment with what the universe wants for you.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: It is undeniable, and I can tell you that when I really started leaning into my divorce story and trying to figure out a path for how I can help divorce women, everything just exploded and I knew that I had arrived, I knew that I was in now.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying that everything was perfect, Of course you know, building a business.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: No, life's still life.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I knew and there was this undeniable feeling that I was exactly where I needed to be, and so that's really what led me here.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I did that pivot in 2024 and made it my mission.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I completely rebranded my podcast and all of it and um really started leaning into help divorced women and ultimately, where that's ended up is really coaching the former version of myself, the woman who knows, she has a story to share, knows.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: She's got, you know, some experience or expertise, and she wants to, she can bring to the table and just having a mentor, that can you know, help her leverage that, yeah, and create a business, yeah, absolutely so.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Now I'm a business coach.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: That's amazing.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I've got three things.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Let's pray, I remember them all.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, I love it.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Okay so I want to call out some bullshit negative thoughts.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I know our listeners are One of them.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Like my brain even wants to grab for right.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you've got a background in marketing and business.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: Of course, you scaled it in a year.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: You knew what you needed to know right, no, yeah, let's start with that.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Cause I'm going to tell you what you would think that, on the looking from the outside in, and I like, keep in mind, I was an, I was a sales rep, so like marketing and sales and like all of that was my forte.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: So, yes, from a sales standpoint, do I think you know?
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Obviously I've got some experience in that.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: But let me tell you what, and this is actually the reason why a lot of new coaches fail in the online space.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: It's about to get juicy.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's because the skillset that you need to know in order to really thrive in the online space actually has nothing to do with, like, being a coach, a practitioner, like any of that stuff.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: It has everything to do with knowing how to be a digital freaking marketer.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And I don't care how much sales background I had, this was a whole new set of skills that I had to learn, and so I say that not to say, not to scare people off.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: If people are considering this, they're just learned skills, so I think why I was so successful my first year was not necessarily because I had it all figured out.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: In fact, I spun my wheels for a good three months until I hired a mentor who taught me what I needed to know.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: And I think the reason why I've had such success with not one, but two online businesses that I scaled very quickly for both of them is my number one my commitment to learn.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Right of them is my number one my commitment to learn Right and the fact that I am that I'm, that I'm coachable, that I have always hired people who are further along than I am to get the CliffsNotes to show me the path.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to do, and in fact, as a divorced mom, my time is so limited.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, I don't have time to figure this shit out on my own, okay, and so I've always hired people to guide me, okay?
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: So issues two and three issues, I don't know.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Bullets two and three intersect, right?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you say that it's like a willingness to learn, a willingness to be coachable, a willingness to invest in yourself obviously because you had to hire those coaches.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: So some other negative thoughts that some of our listeners are having is well, that's nice that you could afford to do that, right.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: But I would argue, yeah, I'm going to argue this too.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: So let me have your argument and then let's do mine.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Nothing to do with any of that, and what it actually has to do with the two other things, the points that I want to just freaking underscore and highlight.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: Number one you voted for yourself.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, you cannot be successful in anything you do, including getting the marriage settlement that you want, or building a business, or having a rewarding career if you are not willing to be all in, to believe in yourself.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's what women do not understand that it boils down to your beliefs.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: A thousand percent and I think for me, like I number one, you know, I think that when you really want something, I can tell you right now my first.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: You know, I think that when you really want something, I can tell you right now my first mentor.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Seriously, I think I can remember the most money I'd ever spent and I did not have the money.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: I think it was like $6,000 for like a four for like a three month or a four month container.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: And I was like where am I going to find?
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: What am I?
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: going to do?
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: What am I going to do?
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: But I figured it out.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Did I have some shit on credit card?
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Yep, sure, did you know what?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I say about that, and it's the third thing is I say universe, this isn't my debt, this is your debt.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Figure it out.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: For me, that's the third thing.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Right Is you have this deep spirituality and this faith that when you get the nudge that it's right and you follow it and you trust it.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and so I just figured it out and I believed it.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: So, yes, listen, I, I get it Like I know, especially post-divorce money and God the fears around the money stories and the insecurities I mean divorce shines a light on that.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: And so, and so I think for a lot of women coming out of divorce, the idea of investing in themselves is really really freaking scary.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: But I just for me, like I said, when I say kind of I bet on myself, I was like no, I want to also back this up and just say this I didn't just like up and quit my job, okay.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Like I yeah, I mean, I literally worked like a dog.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I worked like a dog for two years building out my business and working my full-time job and single momming it Like I did this for two years until-.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Preparing yourself building a runway.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, absolutely.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: So I'm not advocating that women just go out and, like you know, quit their jobs and go all in and rack up a bunch of credit card debt to pursue their dream Be smart about it, be smart about it, strategic.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, at some point you do have to take the leap Right.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: And this is where I do think that a spirituality practice or a even if you're not a spiritual person like affording yourself quiet time, like getting really clear on your feelings and you're like really affording yourself that space, I think can be very valuable in these big decision-making processes.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Because I had spent a lot of time with myself, I had spent a lot of time thinking things through to where it was so undeniable for me, like I it just was, like my intuition was screaming at me, and I never could have gotten to that had I not just taken the time to be by myself and feel, and heal and carve out that space.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I was able to do that, and so then it made my decision very easy for me not easy, but it made it very clear for me because I knew.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: So then I just knew I had to figure it out.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Right, I just knew I had to figure it out because I couldn't deny what I was feeling anymore.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've obviously worked with so many women at this point, right?
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: And what are some of the things you hear them say?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: Just like I was sort of predicting what our listeners are thinking and the ways in which they're like oh, I can't do that, or?
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: you know what?
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: are the some of the things you see, women?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Having to overcome in order to really build businesses and incomes and lives that are rewarding for them.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, there's a few that come up for sure.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Number one I think imposter syndrome is a huge thing, right?
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: It's like who am I to do the thing?
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Why would anybody?
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: How can I do this?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: especially for women.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Tells you how cut off from our power.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: We are as a gender, yeah, so I think imposter syndrome for sure it's.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, who am I to do this?
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Why would anybody you know if we're thinking, if you're thinking about starting a business, even if they're thinking about becoming like a coach in the online space, whether it looks like like who's going to listen to me, who's going to buy from me?
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Uh, the other thing I hear a lot of is what are people going to think?
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: What if I look stupid.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Right, like what?
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: You know how?
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: You know what if I tell people that I'm doing this thing and people laugh at me.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Like what if nobody believes in me that I can do it?
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I hear that one a lot.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I hear a lot.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: This is, in particular, especially for women who are wanting to start in the online space around, especially around coaching is like do I have to have, like, do I have to have like, a certification in order to do that?
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: And I will.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I want to answer that one really quickly.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: So here's the thing I am not in the energy of like just going out and just declaring yourself an expert in something you have no business coaching on and you're not right, and there are certain areas in coaching in particular, even in the online space, certain professions that, yes, you do need to for like, either safety reasons or like legal reasons right Like coaches are not particularly talking about coaches, because that's who I primarily coach and coaches and also, like I coach a lot of, like therapists and practitioners and physicians and teachers and all of that Right but I think that you know there are definitely certain industries and areas where, yes, like you want to like, if you're trying to coach somebody on somatic healing, you need to have some credentials for that Right.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I think that so many of our listeners have credentials A thousand percent that they discount Exactly so for instance, the teacher that thinks she's not qualified to be.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like girl you are a teacher.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: You're one of the most qualified people to.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: actually you are a teacher Like yes you are, and.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: I think that you know Brenda Burchard.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you're familiar with him.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: He's a high performance coach.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: He talks a lot about the three R's right, the three different types of experts, and when he talks about his, you know I think we have this big kind of.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: He talks about these experts that really build trust in the online space and, um, and none of them have anything to do with having, like, a formal certification right, like if you've been the researcher, like you fully understand a subject matter inside and out that expertise right More than credential expertise which takes the 10,000 hours or whatever.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Or maybe you've Expertise which takes the 10,000 hours or whatever Exactly.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Or maybe you're like the role model, because you are coaching women on or you're you know, or whatever, just teaching people how to lose weight because you yourself have experienced something around that, you know around that.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Or it is just like the person who's also lived it right, like, listen, I can talk.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I don't have an MBA, but I can talk about how to create an online business because I've done it once, but I've done it not once, but I've done it twice now, so I've learned about how to do this.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I've learned you know, and I've done it myself.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: So I think we can get caught up in the formality of like, having a specific like credential and a lot of times, like you just said, to your point, we are more credentialed than we think.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: We're just discounting the experience that we already have.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Well, and I think that we've been sort of.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I want to be very careful here, because there's some hot takes embedded in this little sub conversation that we're in.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: But, you know, george Washington wasn't terribly credentialed.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: He was smart, he was informed, he had experience, right?
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: He didn't.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: He wasn't in the college funnel, right Like George Washington, didn't he he?
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: He was like a farmer and an architect and a I don't know a general and a lot of things Like.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I just think there was a time in life where we learned things, we apprenticed, we learned them by doing and then we hired those people and they were brilliant.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: And now we're in this college funnel season where you have to have 12 degrees to feel competent in anything, and none of that actually equates to competence, abso-fricking-lutely.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Now, that said, please don't hire people where you haven't vetted that they are experienced enough to actually help you solve your problem.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: I mean for right, exactly Again, like I am not, you know, I am not pushing, you know, out of scope energy I'd like it, that's not what we're talking about here, vet your people.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: But there are, you know, people are just as qualified from lived experience.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know, and I think a lot of people forget that.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, absolutely.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: So I want to go back to the things that you see women struggle with, just because we started to have this conversation when I guested on your podcast about homeopathic remedies.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: So just for fun, right?
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Each of those things that women struggle with, like imposter syndrome, what are they going to think of me?
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: All that right is a homeopathic profile.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: It's like there is this parameter of negative beliefs or self-concept.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Right, there's a matching remedy in nature, for instance, for your women who struggle with what are they going to think of me?
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: The remedy that corresponds to that negative belief is silica.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: You could buy it on Amazon and it really helps with breaking through the what are they going to think of me?
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Shit.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: So fascinating.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: So I just love that you're able to like dial that in.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Okay, if you could go back and sit with yourself on one of those nights post-divorce where you felt the most lost.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: What would you have said to yourself?
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I would have said, girl, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: You may not understand how.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you this will pass and you will be okay.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a long road and it's going to be hard and you're even going to be five years post and things are still going to trigger the shit out of you.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, but if you lean in and you and you really do the work on taking care of you first, it's going to be okay.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: It's going to be okay.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that I talk to women a lot about.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: We cannot let how it feels turn into a belief, right.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: We can't let like feeling lost turn into I am lost, or feeling you know inadequate turn into I am inadequate, right it just.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: It keeps us from living into the fullness of our dreams, our desires and all the things.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, I mean.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: I think that you know this is even when I used to coach in the health and wellness space, I used to say like you can't rely on your feelings.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Feelings come and go.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: They're important, they're essential to recovery, right, but yeah, you can't make decisions.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: They are important but right.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: But feelings, right, yeah, they come and go, they're, they're volatile, right, and so we can't.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I think that number one, we can't rely on feelings to make big decisions Like we have to.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: You know, you can, you want to feel them, because obviously feeling them and work through them is what's going to allow you to make the decision Right.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: But I think that feelings come and go and I think that we can't, um, necessarily rely on them.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I this is what I used to tell my women especially like, let's just say they didn't feel like getting up and working out in the morning.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: I know this is like different than you know, than going through feelings of divorce, but I'm just saying kind of this feeling of like we really want to, I don't know, is it?
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: I?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: think we don't want to feel.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: We don't want to feel the discomfort, so we'll do anything to bypass the discomfort, whether it's grieve the things we need to grieve, or get your ass up and go to the gym Like it's avoiding feeling Absolutely, and so I think, though, it's like okay, listen, you can't rely, though.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: What I want you to do is like you think about what your future self wants, right, so, whether or not that's, the woman who just finished her workout or it's the woman three months from now who wants to, you know, just feel better next week, wants to feel better later today, wants to feel better Like, stop up.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: We have to stop operating, I think, from the mode of being in our feelings and making decisions on our feelings and really more so, focus on, okay, what does my future self want, what does my higher self want?
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: And and sometimes we, you know, we just we have to just kind of put on our big girl pants and make decisions from what our future self wants, and I think that that's I agree, like we can't let our feelings define us.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling does not turn into I am right, absolutely.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, Not every one of our listeners wants to start a business.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: I know that's you know, it is what it is.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: But for the mom listening who just wants to feel less scared about money or less scared about the future, what's one thing she could do today to make a difference around that insecurity or that uncertainty?
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Girl, I always say the very first thing know your money, Get a hold of your damn money.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: So, just from a practical standpoint.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: Right, if she is somebody who wants to feel better about her money.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Know your money, right?
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: And so what does that look like Like?
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, I know this is so damn basic, but you should know where every single dollar coming in and every single dollar coming out looks like, I think sometimes around money.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Why we get anxiety is because we just don't really know, and I think we don't want to feel, we don't want to look because we don't want to feel it.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: We don't want to know, we don't want to feel it, but you got to face it.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: If you are, if you are spending more than you are bringing in girl, you got to face that.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, if you've got all kinds of debt, got all kinds of debt, if you are, you know, if you've, you know, went through divorce and you're in a really bad position financially.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: And I talked to a lot of women that are and my heart goes out to especially like the you know, like maybe the stay at home mom that's now faced with having to like get back into it, or the you know just women who you know are now having to go from one income or two incomes to one.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: You know it's scary.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: What about the woman who earns more than her husband and she ends up having to pay some sort of alimony or child support, and then that affects the income that she's used to bring, and I talked to women about that Absolutely.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: So I think it's just if you, you know, I think that's that's just, that's like ground zero.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: You got to know your money, you got to sit down If you've not done this exercise, literally sitting down and you can, you know, sign up for like an app that connects your bank account and contract things.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: But, like I have an old school like Excel budget, Seriously, I do it for my personal life and I do it for my business.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: I know where money's coming in and money's coming out.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: So I think that that really is ground zero for sure.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: It's just knowing your numbers and knowing your money.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, tell us about what you do with women, right?
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Tell us about how you love to work with them.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: What's it look like?
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: What's it look like to work with you and what you offer and the transformation you provide women.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Walk us through it.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, god, I would love to you know I really work with women just in building their businesses from the ground up.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: I mostly work.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: I do work with a lot of women who want to take their experience or their expertise and either become a coach in the online space or really just build any business in the online space.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I actually have.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: I have a, like a web developer that I work with, right I've got I'm a functional medicine I work with, right.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: I've got a functional medicine practitioner that I work with.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: I've got a couple of therapists that I work with.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: So it really is the woman who wants to either start her business from, you know, ground zero in the online space, or it's a woman that maybe wants to take her brick and mortar and and be able to, you know, have more freedom and autonomy and more financial security by building her own thing in the online space.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: So my, it is a a business program.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: So what I mean by that is I am focusing on the business aspect of it.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: So, you know, really clearly defining your niche, really defining your offers, coming up with your marketing and strategy plan, and not just coming up with a plan, but actually showing you and teaching you you know what?
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: How do you, step-by-step, grow your social media?
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: How do you produce content that actually converts?
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: What's the selling aspect of it like?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: So I really do take women all the way from hey, I've got this idea, amber, this is what I'm thinking about doing all the way to getting their first clients and really, kind of what that whole yeah, exactly so like idea to income, like what that whole process looks like through, through building their business.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: And so I you know, for me I'm so passionate about this because I wish I had you know a mentor, like when I first got going when I was first I had all these ideas swirling in my mind and I didn't really know what to do, and I I wasn't.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: I had all those imposter syndrome and you know all the, all the fears and doubts and all that.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: I just I wish I had somebody that was holding my hand, that could literally like just guide me through the process, and so that's that's what I help women do.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: Have you ever pulled your human design chart?
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, I have Tell me, and you're going to ask me what it is, and then I'm like okay, do I remember what?
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: it is.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: No, okay, remind me.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: So it's the generator, the manifestor, and what's the other one?
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: The projector, projector, reflector yeah, but I want to know what your numbers are, your personality profile numbers.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: I could totally look that up, but I definitely am the projector are.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm the projector.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: You are the perfect person to consult for people on their businesses, right?
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a projector from a higher perspective.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that is exactly.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: I'm not not a generator, not a manifestor, definitely a projector.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm like a two, I don't know.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: I gotta look it up I feel like you're like a two also, which I think I am a two.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: I think I'm a two numbers yeah, I think, oh my god, okay.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: we're gonna come back to Okay.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: We're going to come back to this.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let you know.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Cause, yeah, I'm like, I know, yeah, so like from a human design standpoint.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: You, being a projector like you, are doing what you are built for.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: So when you talk about that pull that you had spiritually and what it feels like to live into alignment like fricking yeah, you're like literally doing it.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know it, yeah, and you know.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: It's really funny because, as I mentioned, like now it's going to drive me crazy that my numbers are thanks a lot.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: So I've had a lot of.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: You know, when I was on that spiritual quest, you know, post-divorce, I had a lot of spiritual teachers tell me that the word that kept coming up for them was teacher over and over and over, like from all different walks of life.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: And so that's what I'm talking about.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: When I said that, like when I think what's so important, whether or not you want to create a business or not, like when you're you're post-divorce, god, go like, take the time because you will.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: You will take the time to like, go down a journey, whether that's just with yourself or if you are a spiritual person, like a spiritual journey, because the information that you gain, like again, like all of those, like confirmation, right, like therapist you know, spiritual leader or therapist telling you like I just keep hearing teacher Then for me I was like God, I can't deny this Right.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: But had I not kind of opened up my eyes and started that journey, I don't think I would have had the guts to do it, because I wouldn't have had all of that, I wouldn't have had all of the nudges from the universe along the way telling me exactly what I needed to do.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: And that's what I'm saying when I said it got to the point where it was so undeniable.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: That's why Because I had had enough things be put in my path that confirmed that that's what I was supposed to be doing.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, awesome.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: All right, amber, where should they find you?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: We ask this do you always ask your guests where should they find you?
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: On instagram, obviously, I don't know where else.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Anyways, where do you love to connect with people most?
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I love it, yes, instagram and it is me running my instagram genuinely?
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Love that yeah yes, I don't like meaning like, so send me a message.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: It genuinely is me, and I'm just gonna warn you, I'm a big voice noter, so if you send me a message I'm probably going to voice note you back.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: I'm a voice noter.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: That's just what I roll.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Later today you're going to voice note me about your human design.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely I've already started like searching.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like where the F is my human design.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I'm going to find this.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: I know, like I said, I know I'm projector.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: I think Does three make sense or not?
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: That would not make sense.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: No, that's probably not.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: I know it's projector.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Then there's a two in there.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: but we're going to find it.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: We're going to send it to you, Okay, fine.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, so they should send you a DM and you're going to send them a voice note, and that's amazing.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: I will, I will.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I just want to know what resonated, or, if you want, it's going to resonate and I'm thrilled.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, can I also shamelessly plug my event that's coming up though?
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, okay, listen you guys, I have an event coming up.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: It's a free workshop.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: It is called social to sold and, honestly, this workshop is all about really how to leverage social media to get clients.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: So, whether or not you're somebody who's just been thinking about starting some sort of business in the online space or you've been, you know, kind of dabbling like posting, maybe you've already tried kind of creating something in the online space and you're not getting traction, in this free two day workshop, I'm going to be walking, walking you through my number one client attraction strategy.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: This is the exact strategy that I use in scaling both of my businesses to six figures within the first year both of them.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: This is the exact, this exact strategy that I teach my clients that allows them to go from zero to thousands of followers.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: So not only growing your following, but then how do you actually then leverage them and get clients out of it, turn followers into clients?
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to be breaking all of that down.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a little bit social media growth and also a little bit of sales and, like I said, sharing my client attraction, uh strategy, and I'm really excited that's happening September 9th and 11th.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: So, um Don, I think you've got that link, so if we want to add that to the show, notes I have people sign up and listen.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: If you're not sure, if it's for you, uh, and you have a question about it, then just send me a DM and let's chat it out, let's talk about it and I'll let you know.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: I'm very straightforward.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: I'll let you know yes, it's a good fit, or no, it's not.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: No, it's not Love it, love it, love it.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening and for being here with Amber and I.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Until next week.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Peace, dear.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Divorce Diary is a podcast by my coach, john.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: You can find more at mycoachjohncom.