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How to Inspire a Man to Be More of a Provider Man · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  One of the biggest questions I get asked on one-on-one coaching sessions with very successful women is how to inspire their men to take on more of the provider roles.
• 0:42
  So if that is you, then you are definitely going to want to listen.
• 0:46
  To this episode.
• 0:48
  Hi, my name is Amanda Obe.
• 0:49
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 0:57
  So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video.
• 1:02
  We've been talking a lot.
• 1:03
  About relationships manifesting provider men, masculine energy, feminine energy.
• 1:07
  'cause it is a hot topic on this channel lately.
• 1:10
  So make sure to subscribe if you are interested in that topic as well.
• 1:15
  And if you find this video helpful, save a sister.
• 1:18
  And what do I mean by save a Sister?
• 1:19
  You can give it a like, so we can get it in front of more women and you can also share it with a female friend because there's some wild stories that I'm getting in the comment section.
• 1:28
  And in emails, and it is a damn epidemic out here.
• 1:31
  What is going on with all these feminine men who don't step up.
• 1:36
  So let's save a sister and help her avoid that situation by sending her some of the content on this channel.
• 1:44
  And for those of you who've been asking about whether or not I do one on one-on-one sessions to help you, the answer is yes.
• 1:49
  I opened up some spots on my calendar.
• 1:52
  It is simply as it's available and as I have the time to do it.
• 1:56
  This is not the main thing.
• 1:57
  I started this for fun and then it turned into a business, very feminine energy of me.
• 2:03
  Um, so if you want one of those sessions after hearing this video or because you've heard other videos and you're like, dang, I really wanna work with her, the link to that will be below it is probably not gonna be available for very long.
• 2:14
  'cause again, I do this on the side.
• 2:16
  For fun.
• 2:17
  Um, that's number one.
• 2:18
  And then number two, uh, as this channel grows, eventually I'll have to do things that are more leveraged, like course creation, group programs, things like that.
• 2:27
  And also, it's not the main gig, so, so if I've mentioned before, so anyway, if you're interested in one of those for the time that they are available, the information is below.
• 2:37
  Okay.
• 2:37
  Let's get into how to inspire your man to be more of a provider, man.
• 2:42
  So I got.
• 2:44
  I got some caveats to this before I get started.
• 2:47
  So, caveat number one, um, is that in order for this to work, your man has to be willing to be more of a provider and step in more into his masculine energy.
• 3:02
  I will share some stories of inspiration, uh, for those of you who think all hope is lost and it's never gonna happen.
• 3:08
  Uh, I've known men throughout my life that when they first got married.
• 3:12
  To their wives.
• 3:14
  Um, you know, because they grew up in the west where there's a lot more feminism, you know, because their wife was also a little bit more masculine for the same reason.
• 3:22
  Uh, there was just like confusion about the polarity in the marriage and the relationship.
• 3:27
  But then the men actually are the ones who took a lot of responsibility for their energy, um, and how they were behaving and how they were showing up in relationship.
• 3:34
  And then they started to shift and change.
• 3:36
  So I've heard of that happening, um, to give y'all some hope.
• 3:40
  The other thing that I've heard happening, or I've seen happen, I should say, is that when the woman shifts her energy, a lot of times her husband or her man, uh, will start shifting as well.
• 3:50
  However, again, it all goes back to the point that he has to be willing if he is not willing, if he is a man who is so stuck in his feminine energy that he does not wanna move.
• 4:04
  Then this probably isn't going to work, and you are going to have to make some decisions because this isn't about manipulating men into behaving a certain way to make you happy.
• 4:13
  This is about you being more in your feminine energy and you being happy, and then masculine men, uh, responding.
• 4:20
  Now if you're not sure where your man lies on the spectrum.
• 4:24
  Applying these principles and then seeing how he behaves is definitely going to be a pretty good indicator of where he lies on the spectrum.
• 4:30
  But I also did this other video about how to know if you are dating or in a relationship with a feminine man.
• 4:36
  So if you are not sure, you might wanna check out that one.
• 4:39
  I will leave it in the description below'cause that might be good supplemental stuff, uh, to this video.
• 4:45
  Okay.
• 4:45
  So how to actually ins, oh, second caveat that I wanna say here.
• 4:49
  Is there are a lot of men out here who do want to be masculine Providers do wanna be more in the provider role, but the women like emasculate the hell out of them and basically beat it out of them emotionally, beat it out of them.
• 5:03
  So in this video, right, you may notice, for example, that perhaps you, the woman are behaving in ways that are not exactly, uh.
• 5:14
  Conducive right to your husband being, or a man being in more of the, uh, provider role.
• 5:22
  So that's caveat number two is it's the women taking responsibility because sometimes, what is this with these balloons?
• 5:29
  Uh, if you saw that on YouTube, sorry, I don't know what these reaction things are and I don't know how to turn'em off.
• 5:34
  And my husband's at the barbershop, so he can't help me right now in terms of turning it off.
• 5:39
  Um, and then number two, um, so number two, caveat is sometimes men do wanna be the providers and step up and be masculine, but the, but the women are too controlling or don't treat them well, so why would they, so we'll talk a little bit about that as well.
• 5:53
  And the, there's a third caveat.
• 5:55
  And the third caveat is that if you start doing these things and you don't see a shift in your relationship, um, you're gonna have to make some decisions.
• 6:03
  And you are the one who is going to have to decide how much time you are going to give this.
• 6:10
  Um, I've had some conversations with some of you that you've already tried some of these things for a long time.
• 6:15
  I'm talking one year, two years, three years, and you're like, I don't, I don't see a shift.
• 6:19
  I don't see a change.
• 6:20
  Um, you're gonna have to make some decisions.
• 6:22
  And fourth caveat that I have to, this is in the beginning.
• 6:26
  Right.
• 6:26
  Especially if your, uh, your relationship dynamic has been a certain way for a long time.
• 6:33
  Like perhaps the woman has been the more masculine role and the man has been, the more feminine role, uh, it's going to get messy.
• 6:41
  Okay.
• 6:42
  Um, and what I mean by that is that he may complain in the beginning, right?
• 6:48
  He may throw a fit.
• 6:49
  In the beginning, uh, he may not be happy with you setting standards if you've never set them before, but again, I, I honestly do believe that most men, um, are masculine and, you know, we can shift the dynamic of that relationship, but it's going to be very messy.
• 7:07
  Which brings me back to the last one, which is, you know, there is a period of messiness sometimes, and that's kind of normal when you're shifting dynamics of a relationship.
• 7:17
  However, again, you woman right are going to have to decide how much time you're gonna give it.
• 7:24
  Um, before.
• 7:26
  Before you're like, okay, I got, I gotta have some serious decisions or make some serious, have some serious conversations here about, you know, deciding whether or not I wanna move forward, uh, with this relationship.
• 7:36
  All right, caveats out of the way, warnings out of the way.
• 7:40
  Let's get into how you can inspire.
• 7:43
  Your man to be more of a provider.
• 7:46
  So number one, um, I think this is so important and a lot of women like to fight me on this, but I have seen this work miracles, uh, in my own marriage.
• 7:55
  And also I've seen it, you know, in other people's marriages is if you actually build men up versus criticize them and tear them down.
• 8:03
  So women unfortunately have this tendency a lot of times in relationships to criticize men.
• 8:10
  Um, and criticism doesn't help men actually wanna step up and be in the provider role.
• 8:16
  It's the exact opposite.
• 8:18
  Men and not just men.
• 8:19
  I've seen this with employees.
• 8:21
  I've done this, uh, with authority figures and, and things like that.
• 8:25
  So it's not just men, um, are gonna be like, okay, well what's the point in even trying if I can't do anything the right way?
• 8:30
  Anyway, so that is really important because women do have this tendency of just.
• 8:36
  Criticizing men.
• 8:37
  I mean, perfect example.
• 8:38
  You see them on TikTok all the time, and I'm like, this is so embarrassing.
• 8:41
  Why are these people putting this out on TikTok?
• 8:44
  Where they'll be like, oh, my husband didn't use the right, use the right toilet bowl cleaner.
• 8:47
  I'm so upset.
• 8:48
  You know, stuff like that.
• 8:49
  Like why would you even do that?
• 8:50
  Why would you even.
• 8:52
  Uh, put that out publicly, uh, to begin with because that shows just how like critical and controlling the woman is.
• 8:58
  And if you are critical and controlling, there's no way that he is stepping up into masculine energy because why would he, what would be the point?
• 9:07
  So that's one of the things to keep in mind.
• 9:09
  I brought up the second one, which is you have to learn to stop being so controlling, right?
• 9:14
  So women also have a tendency of being controlling.
• 9:17
  Uh, what does controlling look like?
• 9:19
  It might look like you told him to take out the trash and he didn't do it in the first five minutes, so you are freaking out.
• 9:27
  That could be an example, right?
• 9:29
  Or it could be that you asked him to go to the store, uh, and he did it and he brought back milk.
• 9:34
  But it's not the milk that you like.
• 9:36
  So you are also very upset and you're very upset with him, and you're like, you can't do anything, right?
• 9:40
  Ba blah, ba ba ba ba, ba, right?
• 9:41
  And women do also have a tendency of doing that, um, unfortunately, right?
• 9:46
  Or it's not giving him the space, uh, to solve problems.
• 9:52
  And actually, I'm gonna go put a pin in that and we're gonna come back to the problem solving in a second.
• 9:56
  So, the controlling nature, right?
• 9:58
  If you are a woman who has a more controlling nature, and let's be real, a lot of us who were raised by masculine women.
• 10:04
  We know what controlling nature looks like, and we have probably seen, uh, how that leads to a certain dynamic in relationships that if you're watching this channel, you don't want that dynamic, uh, in your marriage or in your relationship.
• 10:18
  So you have to learn to take a chill pill.
• 10:20
  And one of the things that I have advised women to do, both when I do business coaching and I see that they're struggling with control in their business, and then I learned that they're also struggling with control in their relationships.
• 10:32
  Uh, but also when I've done one-on-one coaching sessions with people from this audience, which has been more relationship focused or manifestation focused, is I tell'em to do this experiment, and I'm like, all right, how about you just leave the dishes in the sink, right?
• 10:45
  Instead of you doing them and you decide that, you know, you, you ask for help, you leave them there, and you leave it alone.
• 10:54
  Leave it alone.
• 10:55
  Don't start nagging him in five minutes being like, why haven't you done it yet?
• 10:58
  If it's still the next morning, don't be like, oh, why haven't you done it yet?
• 11:01
  Instead, what you can do is you can make jokes about it.
• 11:04
  You could be like, oh man, those dishes have been there for like two days.
• 11:06
  They might as well just start paying rent at this point, but like, you're jovial, you're funny about it.
• 11:11
  He'll get the hint.
• 11:12
  You're pleasant.
• 11:12
  Rather than doing what most women do, which is eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, which just drives them crazy and makes them want to conserve their energy.
• 11:20
  And final point here, if you want to inspire, um.
• 11:24
  Your man to, um, step up and be more of a provider is you actually have to stop solving all the freaking problems in the relationship.
• 11:35
  So what does that look like?
• 11:37
  Um, that looks like letting something slide so that he can step up and solve them.
• 11:41
  Because if a man sees that you're constantly solving all the problems, why?
• 11:45
  Why would he go?
• 11:46
  Solve them, especially if you're also critical and controlling.
• 11:49
  Why would he go do it?
• 11:50
  Because if he goes to do it, then you're just gonna get upset about how he did it.
• 11:53
  Right?
• 11:54
  So we have to fix all these three things, um, in order to get to a point where men who do wanna be more of the provider, and again, they have to be willing right?
• 12:04
  Can step up into more of that role and more of that dynamic, um, in the relationship.
• 12:12
  Next thing is you have to learn how to actually communicate.
• 12:15
  With men.
• 12:16
  So I talked about how most women are very critical, um, of their men, and that doesn't really help the dynamic in the relationship.
• 12:24
  She basically turns into his mom and he turns into a child rather than like husband and wife.
• 12:31
  So you have to learn how to communicate.
• 12:33
  So let's say for example, you want a man to start taking more responsibility, financial responsibility in the household.
• 12:40
  Those of you who are more 50, in the 50 50 situations, uh, you could be like, you know, honey, you know, what would feel really good to me is, um, if you start taking on more of the financial responsibility, because then I'm gonna feel really safe.
• 12:53
  Right, and I'm gonna, and so it's stuff like that, right?
• 12:56
  Or stuff like, you know, I know what you're capable of doing.
• 12:59
  I know what kind of man you are, and I would feel so good, you know, if you could just do, uh, x, y, and Z for me, and then you leave it alone.
• 13:07
  Um, so it's also a lot about learning how to communicate instead of being like, why didn't you do it the right way?
• 13:13
  You could be more like, oh my God, I love so much that you went to the store for me.
• 13:16
  Thank you so much.
• 13:17
  That makes me feel so taken care of.
• 13:19
  Um, and you know, I, I really love that you did that for me, just.
• 13:23
  You know, by the way, next time could, could you get this milk?
• 13:26
  I really like this.
• 13:28
  This milk.
• 13:28
  The kids really like this milk.
• 13:30
  Do you see the difference?
• 13:31
  Right?
• 13:31
  Which one do you think a man is going to respond to better?
• 13:34
  And again, it's not just a man, right?
• 13:37
  I've had employees, for example.
• 13:39
  Obviously you don't like sweet talk and employee.
• 13:41
  But if you're constantly knocking down and criticizing employees, they're also not going to step up and do what you need to do.
• 13:48
  So it's just like basic human psychology.
• 13:50
  The difference right, is with a man.
• 13:52
  And if you're a feminine woman, you talk more based on your feelings, right?
• 13:57
  This would feel so good if you did that.
• 13:58
  I would feel so taken care of.
• 14:00
  I would feel so safe.
• 14:02
  Um, I would feel so happy, stuff like that.
• 14:04
  Because ultimately, at the end of the day, men want to make you feel good.
• 14:08
  And men want to make you feel happy.
• 14:11
  The problem is that most women communicate in a way where they're literally never happy.
• 14:16
  So the men basically give up.
• 14:18
  Right.
• 14:19
  So those are some of the ways that you can inspire your man to be more of a provider man.
• 14:24
  Maybe start stepping up more in the role and solving some more of the problems in the relationship.
• 14:31
  It's, it's not gonna be easy.
• 14:32
  Okay.
• 14:32
  Especially if you've been controlling for a long time.
• 14:34
  It's really not gonna be easy.
• 14:36
  Like I said, it can get a little messy.
• 14:39
  Um, but if you need help or assistance or anything like that, make sure to book one of those one-on-one sessions that I have a available for a very limited time.
• 14:48
  Below and then we can work through some of this stuff together.
• 14:52
  So I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
• 14:53
  If you did, remember Save a Sister, give this video a like, and also share it with a female friend.
• 14:58
  We gotta save the sisters out here and from getting in these horrible relationships with men who, uh, men who, who just aren't.
• 15:09
  Men ultimately at the end of the day, and make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 15:17
  And I'll catch you on the next one.