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Mindset Coaching and Business Growth: Building Success After Overcoming Addiction · Building the Best You

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: One of the things that is very easy to do and I don't say easy, but I say there's been practice.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I've coached a lot of people, but one of my first mentors and coaches, who coached me through addiction, said it's very easy to be a coach if you're authentic to who you are.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: And I said what do you mean?
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: He goes.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You never have to worry about clients because you only coach what you've been through.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, and so you only attract.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And so when people come to me and they're like, hey, you know, I think I'm not getting a divorce, I'm like okay, I've been through that.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Cool yeah, addiction yeah.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: The House of Jermar is a lifestyle brand empowering women to live all in through interior design and personal wellness.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: We are a destination for women ready to reimagine what is possible in their homes and lives and then create it.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: We are honored to have you join us on our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I am your host, jean Collins, and I invite you to become inspired by this week's guest.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: And I invite you to become inspired by this week's guest.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the House of Germar podcast, where wellness starts within.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I'm your host, jean Collins, and today we are going to talk to a guest who has the most fascinating background.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Today we have Austin Linney on the show.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Austin is an entrepreneur, he's a real estate investor, he runs businesses.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: He's also an incredible mindset coach, and that's how I got introduced to him.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: So everybody, please welcome Austin to the show.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: We're going to have a great funny conversation.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Thanks for having me.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: You're welcome, we also want to.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I want to make sure I remember to mention you also have your own podcast, which is actually really interesting.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: I've listened to a bunch of your episodes.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Your podcast is called Construct your Life, which is so interesting, and you have these Friday rants, which is also really cool.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: I can totally relate to those.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: So we're going to dig into that a little bit as well.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: But I would love if you could share with everybody.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Your bio is deep and, I want to say, in some ways, dark, but I would love if you could share the highlights of your background, of how you got to be where you are today, and that is a very loaded large question, folks.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it has a lot to do with methamphetamines, it has a lot to do with living in a closet and it has a lot to do with cocaine and alcohol.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: So I don't know how that was for a starter, but I like to keep it spicy in the beginning.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: You know, when I was 17 years old, my parents came to me and they said you know, look, you're getting in too much trouble in school.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: We don't think this is the place for you anymore.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: You don't seem to, really.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I have a photographic memory, but I just didn't care about school.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: And so they said you need to go to Beaumont or you need to go to the military school.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And I said well, I don't know where either one of those places are, but one of them is in Texas.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: It's where my parents grew up, which is by the border, where all the oil is from.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: And I was like okay, but I'll go there.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: So we go there.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I went from living on a country club with a maid in the house to living on five acres in a 500 square foot house with my mom.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: So I went from 4,200 kids in my school to 140.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: And so it was just like at 17,.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Middle of my junior year, it's a whole thing.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: And then two months after that my dad drives in from Houston and says we're getting a divorce.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: My parents had never fought in front of me, I think I mean at least I think as a kid, I don't remember and so I proceeded to blame myself because I was a bad kid and then they didn't correct me, which they later apologized for 20 years later.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: But then I proceeded to feel lost and stuck and my dad got remarried quickly and he was with his new family and I felt left behind.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: I started working in the restaurant business and that's when I fell in with anybody who would hang out with me and give me validation, and that's where the drugs and alcohol got introduced into my life.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I was always a good kid per se and I think the problem with drugs, especially back when that was going on it's a little different now, I think.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: But you just do it on the weekends when you're working.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: It's just the restaurant business Back in the day, that's just what we did.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: But the problem is is those weekends started turning into Monday, tuesday, wednesdays, and that's when the problems started arising.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: But I never miss work, so you're like it's always this weird world where you're messed up but you're still getting all your stuff done, so nobody can complain.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: But they know you're not right, and so you're kind of doing these things.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: So I got to a point where one of the low points for me was I had stayed up for eight days straight on meth, but I was taking Xanax at night to try to go to bed.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, but I couldn't go to bed.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: So I was living in this half awake, half world.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: And so on day seven I started seeing rabbits, but there was no actual rabbits.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: And so what happened was I was at work.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I was there.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't have been there.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I wasn't working, I was trying to eat because I hadn't eaten much the whole time working.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I was trying to eat because I hadn't eaten much the whole time and an ex-girlfriend had saw me and I lost some weight and she was like hey, this ain't you.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on with you.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: You look like shit and for whatever reason, that was the big wake up call from some, I don't know from somebody.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: So I went home that day, sobered up the next day, packed up all my stuff and left, and I never did hard drugs again.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I just quit it right then you just quit.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I just quit.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I have this weird mind where it might take me a long time to get to the point because I'm very stubborn, but when I do, it's done.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: But the problem is that I moved to Austin and I started working in another restaurant.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: The problem is is that the drugs just led into me abusing alcohol?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Oh good, I wasn't abusing this anymore, but that proceeded for me to be a functioning alcoholic for almost 20 years.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Wow and so.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: But the issue being is like that was my job.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I was a server of booze and I made drinks and I sold wine, and so you're just kind of like hey, this is what I do, I taste wine for a living and I sell wine, and so it's so acceptable, especially in society.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Now it's getting a little more people are looking into it more on the booze stuff.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so I've been sober as we're recording this, I've been sober six years and two weeks.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Congratulations.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: So, 36 years old, decided to Lost 70 plus pounds.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I got laid off from my private this is all during COVID I got laid off from my private equity job.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I got separated from a 13-year marriage and I started my podcast in a 10-day stretch.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Year marriage and I started my podcast in a 10 day stretch Wow.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: So it's been this kind of like transformation and I kind of fell into coaching.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: It wasn't something I wanted to do.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: It was something I wanted to do 10 years from now.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: But I had a guy during COVID.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: He said I need some accountability and I said, yeah, I'm not doing that.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: But thanks, man, I appreciate it and he goes well.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I already sent you the money.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: But, thanks, man, I appreciate it and he goes well.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I already sent you the money in your Venmo account, so you better figure it out.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: No way.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's how I got my first client and that kind of took off from there.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Did you have any idea what you were doing in terms of how to be a coach?
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I'll tell you True story.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: True story, this is a true story.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I'm helping a guy.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I'm toying around with the idea, not getting paid for it.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: I'm coaching people for free, toying around with it, working through some stuff.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I get on a call with a guy from our group, our mastermind.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: We were in.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: This is a true story.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: I get on a call Within two minutes.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: He's got three kids and he goes.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I want to leave my wife and I, literally I felt my heart 20 feet behind me because in that moment, okay, this isn't playtime, this is real, this is people's lives.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: You are involved in their life 100%.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I've helped people through addiction.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I've helped dads.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I've helped my clients' dads through addiction and get sober.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I've helped people through divorce and all these things.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: And so in that moment I took it very seriously.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: But I always said to myself I said, look, as long as you do what your heart thinks is the right, best thing, I think you're going to be all right.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And so those first couple of years, man, I was just banging around in the dark with coaching people, but I cared so much that I've grown through the whole thing.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: And then I got some training from a group and I've been through the levels and I worked on my own stuff and since then we've kind of refined it.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: But yeah, no, it was a this is true.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Another true story I couldn't get my second client to save my life, Like I got the one and I was like going through this thing.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: And so a mentor at the time who this is a true story he was making I think he was making like 400 grand a month with his businesses.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, the dude's a killer, oh my goodness, I mean the guy's a monster.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, he's just, he's the man.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: He's the man, very successful.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: He said I'm going to hire you to coach me.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: And I was like no, no, no, no.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I said what am I going to?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: No, no, same thing.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Money's already in your Venmo.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Better figure it out.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I'm like what am I going to do?
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: And so I want to vomit leading up to this call.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: You can barely get him on the phone.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm going to do.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: And so right before the call, I go wait, he's not hiring me to coach him in his business, he knows his business.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: He's hiring me to see something that he can't see.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: And so I said I don't know what I'm going to see, but I'm going to see it.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: And so we talked for like 45 minutes and it's basically like him just getting stuff off of his chest and like talking about life.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: And then, like right at like the last end of the call, I like I hit him with something.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: It hit him like it got to the heart and he goes something.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: It hit him like it got to the heart and he goes all right, that's what I needed, thanks.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: And just gets off the call.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: It was like that was what that whole call was about, like seeing it, and one of the things that is very easy to do and I don't say easy, but I say there's been practice.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I've coached a lot of people, but one of my first mentors and coaches who coached me through addiction said it's very easy to be a coach if you're authentic to who you are.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And I said what do you mean?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: He goes.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: You never have to worry about clients because you only coach what you've been through.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah sure, and so you only attract.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: And so when people come to me and they're like, hey, I think I might get a divorce, I'm like okay, I've been through that.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Been there, cool yeah.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Addiction yeah, we're going to talk about that, yeah.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I think a lot of people what they do when they, even in business or in coaching, I think they stretch for things they shouldn't be talking about, right, I think?
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: they do things they shouldn't be doing.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And it's like you know and I'm just as guilty like you're taking on in the HVAC plumbing business, we oh, that's a big contract, we should do that.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: And then you get like six months in and you're like, yeah, we shouldn't do that.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: That's a client that we shouldn't work for because that doesn't match for what we want to do.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: And I don't think people have taken enough time to sit down and go okay, now, what do I really want?
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Because at this I'm sure you're at this point in your career too people ask me all the time what do you want?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: And I said I just want peace.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I don't like drama.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I don't do drama.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: My life is really dramatic.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Do you know how much work it is to get sober?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: It's very dramatic.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: You leave a 13-year marriage, you get laid off, there's a lot of mess.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I'm engaged now and she's amazing.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: We've been together for a long, all that stuff.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I just want to work with great clients who want to do the work.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: If they don't, that's cool.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Then you're not going to work for me.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I want to do business with people that want to do business, that have a big vision, but it's this frictionless kind of thing, I don't think people.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: This is what I say to business owners all the time.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: When was the last time that you experienced your business?
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: That's an interesting question.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Like when were you a customer?
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Right, that's a very interesting question.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're sitting up here in your room and you're saying oh, these spreadsheets, and no, no, no.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: When were you a customer, last for your business?
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, let me and I'm just guys, if you don't know, I own HVAC plumbing company that's not here, yeah stress that they're three states away, and so when they call us, do they feel like they're heard?
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Do they feel Can they trust Jim going over and taking care of his old parents and not taking advantage of them?
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: There's so much there, and if you haven't lived on the front lines of your business in a long time, then you don't even know how that feels when you're creating that Right.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Well, you're creating that right, right?
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: Well, you're talking about the importance of connecting, and it's you know, connecting to your clients, no matter what you're doing, and connecting with other people, and you had mentioned this, you know, it's all about living life from the heart, right?
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: And that's what's going to make you a good coach is just to follow your heart, and I know I personally am like definitely working on that.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: One of my hugest intentions of the year is connecting to my heart and really following my heart as the guide to get me just where I want to go, and even not necessarily knowing where I want to go, but if I'm following my heart, then that will unfold.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: And don't necessarily worry so much about the end game of that.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Just focus on the journey.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: And if you connect with your heart and in business I find, especially the older I get, I'm like I don't have any tolerance for people who are rude and mean and like hello.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: we're all just human beings trying to live life and it doesn't have to be as hard as some people are trying to make it.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: So what's interesting right is your job, and what you do is 99% harder than what we do.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, and hear me out.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: What I do is sell something that you can't see.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: You can only feel.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: So I could say hey, we're going to sell you this 9.7,.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: You know Roto-Rooter and they're like cool, does it turn on?
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: When it's cold, does it turn on when it's hot.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Cool, sure, awesome, we don't care.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I tell my sales guy all the time I said if you start, if you don't stop talking about load count to the 80 year old customers, they don't know what you're looking for.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Done yeah, what you're doing.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Oh man, there is like a visceral pain every day when they wake up and they got to see that thing and they're like I told her I wanted this thing and there's so much different, you know.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: And so I have a theory.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Right, here's my thing I came up with.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: The farther you get away from the customer, the front end customer, the easier your life can be and the more money you can make.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Well, of course.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Well, hear me out.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I buy for my vendor.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: We have a big job.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: I need $150,000 worth of copper for the job.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: He's not getting a review from me.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I'm calling him and going hey, bob, we need $150,000.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: Cool.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I'm calling them and going, hey, bob, we need $150,000.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Cool, sounds good.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: And then I gotta hope that my guys wore booties.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: They smiled they said thank you, they didn't leave crap around, and then I gotta wait for this review, like I gotta do all those things right, and we're maybe gonna make a couple grand off of it, like you know, and so people don't understand.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: You know, one of my favorite lines of all time that I came up with is the better you get at cooking, the farther you get away from the kitchen.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course Like the thing that you love.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: The farther you get up in your career, you don't get to do it anymore.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I also find that there are parts of me that don't like that, because the reason why I got into it in the first place doesn't exist anymore.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: And once you are managing people, and at a higher level.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: It's just such a different experience and you get back something different from it.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: And to me, I found what you get back isn't quite as fulfilling and satisfying as what got you into it in the first place.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: It's the weirdest thing in the world.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Life is so ridiculous.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Life is a wild ride, as you told me.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Life is a wild ride.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Me and my business partners have been wanting to buy a business for a long time.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I cut my teeth in real estate for seven years, Got over real estate because lenders it's a whole thing but started buying businesses and ended up money in real estate, Flipped the model, whatever.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: So we do this and we scale from 16 employees to 54 employees In 16 months.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: We rebuilt the business, the business triple revenue last year, all these things.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: I've got managers in place in each division.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: They're killing it.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: My sales guys are breaking records.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: It's all good.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Him and I are bored out of our minds.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: We go our whole life, we wanted this thing and now we don't know what to do with ourselves.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Now that's not what's happening right now, Because I cover like nine different hats in the business and I'm overseeing a big project right now.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: But there are times where the team well, most of the time the team doesn't need us and you're like, wait, that's the thing that you wanted.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: You're like, wait, that's the thing that you wanted.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: You're like, wait, now we're going to have to go start some side hustle business just to keep ourselves occupied.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: To keep the interest peaked.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: There's only so much golf you could play, and for me, I'll do a podcast, I'll do coaching.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I've got three other businesses and I still feel like I'm not doing anything.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: And I'm writing a book and all these things.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Right, you're doing all these things and you're like, ah, like I'm still not doing anything.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: But when I know I am, I called my dad the other day and like after like five minutes he goes hey, look, I'm already exhausted Everything that you're doing.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: So like I get that all the time.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: You're busy, right, you know, but like we're just, we just love it, like I just love it, like I love talking business.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: It's so crazy to me.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: True story Met a guy at a conference.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: He bought a 130-year-old flagpole company.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: They've supplied the flagpole to the White House.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Cool, he owns that business.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Very cool, it's just so ridiculous.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: It's like what?
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I just find it fun.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: And so when people are like don't you get tired of it?
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Like you worked all day and then you got to go to a networking event, and I'm like no, it's like really cool, but like it's been a calculated situation to remove the I don't want to's off my calendar, Like it took years of just saying, no, I'm not going to do that anymore.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: And like the big aha for me was like I don't like having anything on Fridays.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I don't like it.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: And.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: I don't like it after two o'clock on Friday, especially, okay.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I get up every morning at 4 am, sometimes earlier, right, wow, I used to coach 13 to 15 clients in a day.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: I would just coach all day.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Because I would segment out my day.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: So I do a podcast a day, I do coaching, blah, blah blah.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: Some would bleed into the next day.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: But I don't like Fridays because I like to keep it open, I catch up with people or I do this thing, or so on and so on.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: So I said to myself, oh, you'll get there in a couple of years, you can do that.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: And then something happened where something fell through that I had to do on Fridays and I was like what if I just like, what if I just like, did it now, do it now.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, why not?
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: And I was like no, no, no.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Like I'm telling myself like you can't do that.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: And I was like, but like what if I did?
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Like who's going to be upset?
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I'm just going to, I'm just going to do that.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I want to go really hard.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: Monday, tuesday, wednesday like hard, like work all day, thursday, start ratcheting it down, and then Friday ratchet it down a bunch, and then what happens is I'm better equipped to go into the weekend.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah sure my buddy jokes about this all the time.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: He does big stuff for Chase Bank, like big, big loans, and he goes look, I'm not saying that I dislike COVID, but he was like COVID was a little rough for me because I'm in my office upstairs I've got a two-year-old and a five-year-old.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I'm yelling at my analyst in Prague about a $500 million loan because he's not doing his job and I walk out of work and I got a two-year-old around my ankles.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: He was like I haven't had the five seconds to switch from One to the X.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, do your job.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the stress to be a dad.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: And so a lot of people have forgot because they haven't taken their wind down time.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Because we're now this new world where everything is 24-7.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Social media, crypto, everything.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Somebody posted the other day on Twitter.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I thought it was really great.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: They said crypto is like a demon.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: It's not in the sense of like.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: It doesn't stop, he goes.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: You're just like.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: I just want a night off where.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: I can just chill.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: And so we've created this thing where nobody does the thing they enjoy anymore, because they feel like they always have to be doing it.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: So when I meet a client, most of the time they're killing it in business.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: But their personal life is like shambles.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: And you're like hey, what is something that you really love doing?
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Oh man, I love golfing.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: When's the last time you did that?
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Three and a half years ago, okay.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Oh great.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: So here's a circle.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: You're the circle.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Here's all the ways you make money.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: You're really good at that, but you don't pay any attention to the personal side, and so you wonder why you're burnt out tired.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course you need some balance and I feel you might see this with your clients.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like your clients come to you because they almost need permission from someone else to tell them that it's okay to make themselves a priority in their lives, especially successful business people?
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, I wish you would tell me that right now that's something I'm working on.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: It is okay.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: It is okay to make yourself a priority.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: My fiance.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: This is the like.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: It sounds so trite and so simple to say like.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: She's like.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: You know, like doing things for yourself is like.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: That means that you love yourself, and I'm like no no, I just do for, like others, and I just do, you know, a shirt off my back and whatever you need and jump on the phone and you like?
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's not how it works.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't be continually giving.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: You got to give to you too.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You have to fit you into that giving bucket.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: They need permission to be who they've always meant to be.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: That's what they need, Right?
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: They need permission to put down the mask, Say you know what?
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I don't think I want to do that anymore, Right?
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: And we're wearing all these hats and they're not even our hats.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: And I had a good friend of mine who coaches men for a living.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: He said the problem is is that everybody's changing the vehicle, but the driver didn't change.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Very interesting analogy yeah.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: They're all like getting in a different, like I'm in a Hummer, sometimes I'm in a Corvette, but the driver didn't change.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: But we're all hoping that when we find the right vehicle, everything's going to make sense.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it doesn't work that way.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: It's just still the same.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: You so are.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Most of the people who come to you for coaching are, most of them, pretty successful in the business realm, because you can relate to their level of success.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean most of them are.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: There's two things that I found it's the craziest thing.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I have like two groups.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Well, the wildest thing is I've been coaching a lot of women lately, which has never happened before, so that's been super interesting.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they like the good kick in the butt.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I think they like the tough.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: I normally have two sets of clients.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: One is a young guy who's 23 or 27.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: He makes good money but he's soulless.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: It's just like I can't keep doing this Right, so we'll start the business or we'll do something different or something like that, or I coach the 35 and up who have made some money looking for a change.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: The joke with me is that when you coach with me, a couple things are going to happen.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: One you might move to Europe or travel there for about two months.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: You might get divorced.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: You might get divorced, you might get married and you might leave your job.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I believe that we get stuck in these patterns, and so my first couple of weeks with them is just to shake it up a little bit, do something a little different.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I like to not have them see me coming.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I'm saying it on purpose, so you can be offended.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I'm saying it on purpose.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: 40-year-old plus men I'm saying it.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: You think that you're so sneaky, you think that you have it all figured out.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: You are so stuck in your patterns and they are so obvious.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: It's not even funny.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: They're sitting on their high horse and they're saying, when I get to this revenue number, it's going to be okay then.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: The kiss of death.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: It will be okay when.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: But here's what's crazy, right?
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: This is what I ask them to do.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: I want you to go in front of your family and I want you to ask your 3 or 4 year old or 6 year old when you walk through the door.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Does your 6 year old ask you what's in the bank account?
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you say that you're doing it for them.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Did they ask you to do these things?
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: And so when you admit that this success that you need is for yourself, then we can start Right.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Because oh no, it's for them, no, no, no, it's for you and that's okay.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I want a successful company and a big company because I want jobs.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I want to give the money away.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I want to create a ranch where we heal addiction and chronic pain, and I want to host retreats there.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Those are the things that I want.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: So in order to do that, I need a really big company Some days, I think that I'd rather just move to Nepal and disappear.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: But hey, it's each to their own.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: So you're giving them the permission to seek something different.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: You're asking them to become more than they are, which is very hard, and then you're giving them the cover to do it.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Which is really powerful.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Because most people haven't even taken the time to decide whether or not they want, because a lot of people are comfortable, right, they're making good money.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Their marriage is okay, they're in decent shape.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: You know it's nothing like crazy, like the biggest question in life.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Right, I think I could read every book in the world and not understand it.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Why does it take us hitting a brick wall, doing 179 to?
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: change it does.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Right Right, because most of the time it's good enough and people feel like, oh, I shouldn't be striving for more or striving for different, because how is this not good enough?
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with this concept of good to great.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I've read all the Jim Collins books Like I've left so many things that were good to like, pursue something that I think is better for me, and like that in-between time for it to happen is like the scariest thing in the entire world.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Of course this is so stupid.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Why am I?
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: doing this, I got this whole thing over here.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: And you're just like ah, what am I?
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: No, and then you're like oh okay, this is why I did it.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you have to have a little faith and you got to trust and trust in yourself, which sometimes that's a lot of times where people also go to a coach because they don't trust in themselves and so they need help to figure out how to do that.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: My small business that we bought and that's you think I'm interesting.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: IRS FBI.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: You think I'm interesting has reintroduced me to what faith is Interesting, in what way?
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: And panic attacks?
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, in what way.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: How do you define faith now?
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: I define faith as having an ability to believe that you are destined to get through.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: And I believe that I thought I could do it all with my own force.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: Like Surrender Experiment is like the book for me, like I hit it at the right, perfect time, yep, and that's what I'm trying to do.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when you're upgrading your life and you're stepping into more of a coach, investor, mentor role in your business.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Do you know how frustrating it is to me that I have to rely on, like my livelihood, on a bunch of other people?
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: It's like you know, like I love control and you're just like you're like.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Jesus, take the wheel.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: You're like we just put a new GM in and I'm like have at it man, like you know, but he cares so much Like I'm not worried about it.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Like it doesn't mean that he has everything that he needs to be successful, because he'll learn that, but he cares.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: That's all that matters.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: That.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: But he cares, that's all that matters, which is important.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I need to let you do the thing.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: And that's what we my.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: CEO talk about all the time.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: It's very hard to know that we could fix a problem in five seconds and we have to just let it play out.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the hardest thing in the world.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: But it's so good for your personal growth to let it go.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: So I have a good friend who's built in a very successful company and they went from like 2 million to like 26 million in like four years buying companies.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: He said if you give your employees the answer, it means that you don't care about them growing.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: And he goes or you're lazy.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: And when he told me that I was like I'm done, it was on my podcast.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, okay, cut that out.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to listen to that every morning because it was the truth.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: I mean it's the truth.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: You no longer possess the skills to care about your employees anymore.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: If that's the case, Sure Because then you might as well just do their job too, yeah, and then you might as well have a single business which is great, I mean, that's what you want.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, but when you're taking on people, you're taking on what's going on in their life.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: You're taking on the responsibility of shepherding them.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I view and I say this it's not a hyperbole it is my job to protect my employees and steward the business.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: And I take that very seriously.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Do people come to you for coaching about how to do that with their businesses?
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: How to be better leaders.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I don't my personal opinion.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I think it's something that's catching on.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I think it's caught on, but I think it's catching on more and more.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are accidental leaders.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah right.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Before we bought the business, I knew this was going to be a thing.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: I read every John Maxwell book.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Every one of them.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I spent like six months on leadership, what it was for me, what I defined it as, what I hated in a leader.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: That was really rude to me.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: You have to understand I'm also in a trade that for the better part of the last 75 years they thought that yelling was how you got stuff done.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Of course Right.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Of course, yes, right.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: So it's like we're in this new thing where they don't trust me because they think I'm too nice.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: But I'm kind of like a little edgy too, like we're like I'll cross them One time.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: I like long story.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: This guy like overstepped and was like verbally abusing an employee and I just went crazy.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: I was like get out, don't you ever speak to anybody like that I mean I was like don't you ever intimidate somebody again, that is a young kid.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: I mean I just went off a deep hit and I walked in my CEO's office and he's like, hey, bro, that was a little much.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: And I was like, no, they need to know that I can go there, because it's unacceptable.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: You will not treat people like that, and that was the only time I ever had to do that.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: And it's like you're still trying to.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: You're growing up in front of them.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: This is a true story.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: So when I got introduced.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to buy the company, we're under LOI, I'm there to visit, to work out the hammer.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: So I'm in Texas at the time.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: I'm flying back and forth to get this deal done.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: I'm there just to meet the seller, just meet the seller and work out the last details and then I'm going to go home.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: That's all that was saying.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: I'm in his home.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: It's Tuesday morning.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: He says no, no, no, let's go meet the team.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I want to introduce you.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I want to move this along.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't want.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm not ready.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to say.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, we're going to get in, we pop in, we go.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: So I got 18.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: I'm me and I'm 18 people and I'm like oh my God what am I going to say?
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: And he's like so this is the new guy that's going to buy you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: And I was like so I'm divorced, I'm a former alcoholic and I used to be a drug addict.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good, it makes you real.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: And afterwards four of them came up to me like in recovery Awesome, us too.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: And like it was like you know, and I was just like that's what I'm going to go with and so, and so it was great, because it was like okay, cool, like I'm not above you, I'm not below you, Like I'm just human, the same, you know real.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just a person.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: And so one of my Naval has an amazing quote.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: He said the only way to escape competition is to be authentically you.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Which is so important and that's one of your roles as a coach is to help people figure out who they authentically are right, and most don't even know, because they've taken on the label of their parents or their friends or what somebody told them one time when they were six years old.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Sure, of course, and they've built a life around that label.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's got to be exhausting.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: You know juggling the plates.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: It is To make everybody happy.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: It is Now.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Most coaches I know have a coach.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Do you have a coach?
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: I have been doing a different thing lately.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what have you been doing?
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: I don't have business coaches.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: So I have what I consider like a mastermind, is like my business owners, who are all successful in different things, so we talk all the time.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: I've been going the spiritual women's route lately.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: The spiritual women's route.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, that needs a lot of definition.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I need work on my feminine.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, yep.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: So my feminine side is very closed off.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not speaking to my mother right now.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: She's not speaking to my mother right now.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: She's not speaking to me.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Me and my dad didn't speak for 20 years.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: So we're back and we talk weekly.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: So for me, I blacked out most of my childhood and so my fiance is extremely spiritual and faith based and all this stuff.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: So for me, I consume a lot of books around business.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I consume around a pocket.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I don't really want to do that anymore.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: I am gearing up to be the best father I can be when we eventually have kids.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Love it, so for me that's going to take a lot of things.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: So these like it's just like happened that way.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: It's not like I was seeking out like a woman's coach.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but like I've talked to like medians, yeah.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Like, you know all the different, you know modalities, right.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, I do it all.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Intuitives, tarot card readers, yeah, human design, all of it.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: And I'm about to say something that's really going to get some people upset.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: But I don't really care, Because you can lie on whatever what fence you want with this, but lie on ever what fence you want with this.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: But cocaine and meth were my problems.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: That was my main problems and alcohol, but when I got divorced mushrooms saved my life.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Doing that with a shaman and going through the pain of that divorce and rebuilding my life.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: That was my big aha moment and that started me on this path.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: The spirituality side is still new to me.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: I have my own thoughts about the church and all that stuff like that from a childhood basis.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: So there's so much there that I'm unpacking and figuring out.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: So it's just been something I've explored.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I'm about to start working with the medical intuitive on my health.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: So there's so much there that I'm this is all new to me.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: It's all very interesting, so I'm just trying to be open to all of it.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: I love putting myself in very awkward situations but I'm very stubborn out the gate.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: But once I settle into it, I'm good.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: But I would say and I got no problem because I'm very open and honest I me.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: Like me is the hardest thing that exists, like my personal relationships, like I've been on my own since I was like 17.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: My family's never really was around.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: My friends were my family, but they weren't really family.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: And so for me it's like I want to make sure and this is the hardest thing for me, I want to make sure that my anger, my anxiety, like all those things are, like you know, as cleaned up and washed away as I can, because we my, my fiance, crazy childhood as well to foster care, drug addiction, all in her family, she's, she's, she's, none of that stuff for her, but we just, we're just so adamant about being great parents, um, and so to do the work, is is needed and it's, and it sucks too at the same time because, like you're finding out stuff about like three years old.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, which is tough.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: This is big stuff, it's not small stuff, and four or six and stuff that you're like.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: Journey work is tough, especially mushroom journey work.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you've completely blacked out True story.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: I don't remember anything prior to 17 years old Nothing, it's all just.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: And a lot of people who have trauma don't.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: So what's happened to me is I'm obsessed with Don Miguel Ruiz.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: So the.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Four Agreements.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, great book.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: My favorite book, one of my favorite books of all time, is the Five Levels of Attachment.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: All right, and so basically what I realized about three months ago on a walk when I was down in Pittsburgh is that everything I believe about my childhood is fake Really.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Everything.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: What happened that made you realize that?
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: Because that's a big one.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: I realized that maybe my parents weren't as happy as I thought they were.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Maybe it wasn't as joyous as I thought they were.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: Like all these things.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: You start peeling things and you're like oh.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: And also and I wasn't as bad as of a kid as everybody made me out to be- and.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't like those things, and so I was just like wait, is it all BS?
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I think it's all BS Okay well, wait, hold on hold on, hold on.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Now I don't have anything to hang my hat on.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Now I have to rebuild my entire existence of what I believe in.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is going to take a while, like you're, just like you know you're, you're starting to peel back the onions and you're, and you're saying to yourself, like okay, so if that's the case, what do I believe, what don't I believe?
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, does it does any of that matter?
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: And maybe I just go from here Like that.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: I don't have the answer.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: It's really weird for me.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: I'm quick on my feet when I talk, but like I'll hear something let's say I hear some bad news or something, or find out something it won't hit me for like two months later.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Interesting Like some random thing you're walking or like it's just like boom.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: You're in a conversation Like it's just like boom.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: My mind takes a long time to like process it, but like, once it's in, it's in.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: There are some things that I'm going to have to address with my parents that I don't really want to Of course.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: You know, and there's conversations that are going to have to be had, where in the past, I've been like you know what.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Let's just keep it civil, but my fiance is like a crusader of truth and that is not going to transpire.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Good for her.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: So I am comfortable saying that I'm excited to see what this looks like 10 years from now, because it's weirdly weird when you feel like your life just started at 36.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, and then really started again at 42.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: You feel like you were figuring it out, getting the right people around you, and only in the last I just turned 42 last month I feel like it's finally like okay, I've got the right people around you.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: And only in the last I just turned 42 last month I feel like it's finally like okay, I've got the right people, got the right vehicle for the business got the right support.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: It's like, okay, let's go do work, and so it's very odd, when you're a doer your whole life to become a surrenderer.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: It's very hard.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I don't like it, but I'm embracing it.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: You're uncomfortable, but that's where growth happens.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Growth always happens in the uncomfortable.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: So you know, you know that as a coach.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: But I commend you for doing the work and for being so honest and vulnerable about the work, because it will be one of the things that will make you such an exceptional coach for other people, because you've done that inner work.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: You know, not only have you overcome addiction and all these other things, but you've done that inner work.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Not only have you overcome addiction and all these other things, but you've done the inner work.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: You're working on the inner work, and so it'll give you a lot of empathy for other people and also help motivate them a little bit to be like look, I'm doing it.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: Don't give me this BS about why you can't.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: You can.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: If you want to, you can.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: That's what we told.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: We got a manager who's got to work on some things and, like our CEO and myself were like, hey, we did this, like we already did this, like we're going to tell you it's going to suck, but you're going to be better for it if you embrace it.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: You're going to be a better dad.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: You're going to be a better employee.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: You're going to be a better friend.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: Like all these employee, You're going to be a better friend.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: All these things it's cool.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: It's cool man, yeah.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: And so there's some comfort there to go like okay, they've been through it.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: They have Right, exactly which is super helpful, right?
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: So let's talk about your podcast for a second.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: Construct your Life what made you decide you wanted to become a podcaster and why that subject?
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: So I was at a real estate conference called Best Ever in Breckenridge, colorado.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: There was 700 people there, there was a conference inside, and then there was a circle around the conference room where there was booths set up and people were networking.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: So this was a month before COVID.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting there and I'm looking at everybody that people are talking to, and there's like a line of people waiting to talk to people, and I realized in that moment that every single person they wanted to talk to had a podcast Interesting, and so I had been thinking about it for a while.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: And so I was talking to this guy I just met and he's like hey, you should start a podcast.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: He's like I'm just telling you to start a podcast.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: So, while I was at the conference, I'm texting my business partner at the time and we're throwing around names, and then I'm texting my old bass player who runs a podcast studio when I used to work in the music business.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I'm going to start this podcast, I'll be home next week, we're going to start recording.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: I was just like boom.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: So we came up with a name, we had the logo before I left, and then when I got back I got laid off.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: So what I was doing is I just used it.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: This is a true story.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: I was doing seven to nine interviews a day, four days a week.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: For the first 11 months.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: That's amazing.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: That's so much content.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: I was talking to athletes.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: I was talking to like.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: I was like really trying to figure out my life.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I was traveling and I had my podcast studio and I was just traveling around the West Coast and I just got separated, so I was hanging out.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: I met my fiance at the time.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: We started talking mid-summer.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: But, I was just interviewing people and it was an exploration of like, okay, what are you going to do next?
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: And so I got done and I'd done all these podcasts the first year, and so one of the things that was really important to me was I wanted to do it for the right reasons.
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: So I told my podcast.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: I said look, no matter what I do, no matter what I bribe you with, don't let me see how many people downloaded it, please.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I'm begging.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: you Don't do it.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I'm losing weight.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Right now I'm not in a mental state where I can handle it because I'll give up.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: So for like two, I don't think I saw it until year three, wow.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: So one day I asked him, like real hard, I was like dude, you need to tell me.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: And he's like, no, you told me not to.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: And so he said, look, all I can tell you is that every month is going up and to the right and I was like okay, cool, and so there's a concept in Atomic Habits.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: It's called position thinking versus trajectory thinking, and it's like is the thing that you're doing, are you always moving towards it or are you sitting neutral?
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: I just started doing the podcast, and that's what we've been doing ever since, and one of the things that I was very cognizant about is I'm a person who likes to talk about a lot of different stuff, and so I wanted to make sure that I didn't niche it down so much that I would run out of topics to talk about.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: So I think honestly, if I'm being honest, we kind of stumbled on something that works and it's been interesting.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: First couple of years it was all real estate in life.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Now it's been like business in life.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: So I've kind of grown with it.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: And I haven't asked my audience to come with me, but they've just watched me grow up and one of the greatest compliments I ever got was my buddy, who's listened to every episode one of my best friends.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: He's like I'm not going to lie to you.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: He's like you were a very crappy interviewer at the beginning.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: He's like you talk too much and you wouldn't listen and you ask the wrong questions, he's like but you're absolutely amazing now.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: Good and this is like episode 200, 300.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: And so it's cool to them see.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: But then what I realized is it's kind of like a documentation of your life.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: It's like a journey, right.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you give that journey to other people and it's so important because sometimes we can get jaded because there is so much podcast out there.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: But I had a good friend, one of my best friends.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: He said I sent it to my grandmother.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: He is a very successful guy who started from nothing in Venezuela and he goes.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: My grandmother thinks I'm famous, he goes and if something ever happens to me, my kids have a documentation of the story of my life, Love it.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: And that's when I sat back and go.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is a little more important than just flicking record.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so it's just been.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: It's been something that's honestly it's created.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Everything that you see today is created because of it.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: The business partnerships, the connections, the opportunities all that has happened because of the podcast.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: So powerful so you do a Friday rant.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about that for a minute.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: So it was very spicy in the beginning.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: I was going through some stuff.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: Even people would be like I think you should take that down.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm not taking it down.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: But here's something funny and I haven't shared this with anybody because it's but maybe if I say it out loud, I'll have to do it.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: So the Friday rants are like three to four minutes of like there's no script, there's no nothing.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just riffing and talking about something and it goes where it goes.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: So we have taken all those like 52 of them and we're turning it into a book.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: I was just going to say it's a perfect book.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: It's like life lessons attached to the video, so on and so on.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Honestly, it's everybody's favorite.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: Like I get texts all the time.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: They're like man, you did that today.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Like it's everybody's favorite and it's just something that I'm really committed to is like that.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: One will just never change.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: Because you just authentically talk about whatever you decide you're going to talk about, talk about whatever you decide you're going to talk about and you just are very real and share your opinions, share your thoughts, share your viewpoint.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: You're just really honest about it and vulnerable about it, which I think I feel like people want that more and more.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I said something during one that's always stuck with me and you say something in consciousness and you don't even know it sometimes.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: I said you want to know something that's never disappointed me ever A sunrise.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: It was a comment about life and how we don't focus on the right things Like I've never been disappointed by a sunset or sunrise Never.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I'm with you.
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: People ask.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: They'll ask all the time.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: They'll say, oh, you know, but they'll like text me something.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh damn, who said that?
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: And they're like you said that and I'm like I said that.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: You know, you just kind of like, you just kind of let the mind go, you know, and I don't really have an agenda.
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: So it's been something that I really enjoy.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: I kind of hit on it and kind of didn't stop it.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: And I think that's key in the consistency department when it comes to podcast is like you just have to stick to something.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and be doing it for the right reasons.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: You're doing it because you wanted to do it, and I always say to people I feel like being a podcaster is a gift, and it's a gift to get to be introduced to so many incredible people and to share their stories on our platform, and I think that's a gift that we can't take for granted and it's a privilege to be able to do it.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: And if you're open to the people that you meet and receptive to what they have to say and what they have to share, and your mission is really to just share more of that with a broader audience, like what greater gift.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, 100%, 100%.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love it.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: All right, we've taken up so much of your time.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: You've mentioned a whole bunch of books, which I will put all of those actually, in the show notes, because I always ask people to recommend a book that they've read that's impacted their lives, professionally and personally.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Is there anything else book-wise or any takeaway that I haven't asked you that you want to make sure you get in?
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: before we have to say goodbye.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: So it's.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: I bought the book 65, 70 times for people.
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll just like meet random people and buy the book for them because it changed my life.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: There are many books that changed my life, but this one is kind of like the foundation of everything, and so what it's called?
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: It's called what you Say when you Talk To Yourself, and so his name is Shad Hemsley.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: He's the original like, speak person right and he tells a story.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: It's basically saying that your subconscious runs 90% of your mind why do we do the things we do?
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Their habits or patterns, how to rework and how to rewire your mind, so on and so on.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: So this woman is in a marriage that is kind of loveless and her husband doesn't want to do anything.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: All he does is watch football all day.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: And so she decides she wants to go to this flyer.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: It's like a Jim Rohn thing.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: So, shad, go to this thing.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: He's like why are you going to that?
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: It's just a waste of money.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: Blah, blah, blah.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: So she goes.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: She gets the self.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: So he's the original developer of the self-talk books or tapes.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: So she turns it on.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: He's watching football.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: She turns it on in the kitchen and he says turn that crap off, turn that crap off.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hear that.
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: And he goes, you know what?
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: Just turn it down.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: So she listens to the tape for like 10 days in a row and every day he's telling her to turn it anything, and what the basic premise was is like he listened to the things without listening to the things and reprogrammed like how he viewed the world, and so that book is the first book that I recommend to everybody to start.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: That is powerful.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm going to have to get that.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: I've tried to read every book that my podcast guests recommend, so I look forward to getting that one.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: Guest recommend, so I look forward to getting that one.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Well, austin, this has been a true pleasure.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: You are just an amazing, inspiring human.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: You are an incredible business person, a great coach, and I love the work that you share, that you're going to be doing on yourself to become the most incredible father.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: So congratulations to you and thank you so much for your time.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: I will put in the show notes links so everybody can follow you.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: They can follow your podcast, they can find your website, they can learn more about coaching with you.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: I will put all of that into the show notes.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: So thank you so much for your time Awesome.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: Thank you for the opportunity.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you, have a great day.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: We'll talk soon.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us for another episode of the House of Jermar podcast, where wellness starts within.
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: We appreciate you being a part of our community and hope you felt inspired and motivated by our guest.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: If you enjoyed this episode, please write us a review and share it with friends.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Building our reach on YouTube and Apple podcasts will help us get closer to our mission to empower 1 million women to live all in.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: You can also follow us on Instagram at House of Germar and sign up to be a part of our monthly.
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining our house.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: This has been a House of Germar production with your host, jean Collins.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining our house.