Latest / Mommywood / Breaking Up with Your Rep — and Finding the Right One (Again)

Transcript

Breaking Up with Your Rep — and Finding the Right One (Again) · Mommywood

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Mom, welcome back to Mommy Wood, the podcast where we dive into
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the wild, beautiful and sometimes completely crazy world
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of being both a mom and a performer.
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I am your host Emily, and if you've ever found yourself
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running on coffee, passion and the sheer willpower of a sleep
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deprived parent then you are in the right place.
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Welcome to Mommy Wood, as always, I am so happy to have
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you here. This is a solo episode as you
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could tell, and it is all about breaking up with my Rep and
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finding new reps because that has been such a hurdle for me
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and a long time coming and I feel like we don't talk about it
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a lot. So I'm going to talk about it
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and talk about my experience and maybe some red flags or green
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flags for reasons to maybe leave your Rep and green flags of
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choosing new Rep. So let's just get started on
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this little solo conversation. Yes, so I left my Rep and got
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new Rep. So I let's talk about just like
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why I, how I realized that my Rep was no longer a good fit.
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I was with an agency across the board.
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So they wrapped me both theatrically and commercially.
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And I've been with them since before the pandemic.
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So I've been with them a good chunk and and I've gotten, you
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know, decent auditions here and there up and down.
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We all know the rigmarole of getting auditions and not
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getting auditions and all of that.
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So lately I had lately meaning at least the past year, a couple
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years even my auditions commercially were nowhere near
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what I thought that they should be.
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And now I know that this is a fine line, especially for agents
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of actors just being like, I need more auditions, get me more
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auditions. So I was aware of that.
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And it was not that I was just wanting more auditions and not
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getting auditions. I think the difference between
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just wanting more auditions and actually feeling like it there
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was something missing was that I was seeing commercials and
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seeing friends and other actresses that are my similar
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type. I would see them in commercials.
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I would see them getting auditions that I was not
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getting. So of course having that
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conversation with my reps was important because I feel like I
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have a good commercial look. I have booked commercially on my
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own, so I feel like something wasn't quite adding up.
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I have been non union, so I like that was part of it that I feel
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like I since so much commercially is non union that I
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felt like I should have been going out more commercially then
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asking of course submission report, seeing if I if I wasn't
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being submitted or if I was, how was I being pitched And when I
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would get the response about when I would ask about how I was
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being pitched or you know, how I can help what I can do to help
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them. Also, the response, the only
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response I was getting was that there wasn't anything for me
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because, you know, being a white woman in her 30s, there's just
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nothing for me. And I get that.
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But also that response, that as the only response was a little
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making me uneasy. Also, I did have to join SAG
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last summer, summer 2024. So once I also joined the SAG,
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then the response of well, now you're in SAG, there's no SAG
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commercials for you, which again, also not true because I'm
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seeing I'm aware that other people in my position, my type
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are going out are booking so that I didn't love.
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So when my response was only there's nothing for your type
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and you're in Sagna, what else can you expect?
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I understand those in a grand scale, but when that's the only
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response, it feels a little bit dismissive.
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So, but having the conversation, I did have the conversation with
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my reps about how I feel like I should be auditioning more and
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let's numbers wise, this past year, 2025, I had three
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auditions, I believe commercially 3, no more than
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four, which I think that speaks to four itself.
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It would be something else if I was auditioning once a week or
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even like twice a month, that would be something.
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But I think that three in a year is fair.
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But I had given them. We had the conversation at the
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beginning of the year that I was going to give it a few months
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and see how things went. If you know, they are.
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I also wasn't being told how I was being pitched.
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And I have extensive improv and comedy training, which is very
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important in, in commercially. So, so I was trying to lean on
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that and ask them how I was being pitched and why they
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thought I wasn't going in. I and then we were going to see
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how it was going to go for the next couple months.
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I had recently just taken, I took the the commercial class at
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200 S to make those connections and and I did ask them that if I
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left them commercially, could I stay with them theatrically And
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the answer was no, which was a bit disappointing.
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But honestly, I wasn't going out with them theatrically all that
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much either. So wasn't the biggest loss.
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But that being said, having this conversation with them at the
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beginning of the year, and then I, I did not give it a couple
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months. I gave it about nine months.
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And so I felt that after that time and we've been together so
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long and it's just like, I, you know, you just feel it out.
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You feel like something, it's just time to move, move on.
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And so I worked with Jen de Pablo.
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Oh gosh am I saying her name right?
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I'm going to be so embarrassed if I said it wrong but Jen was
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amazing to work with. I cannot recommend her enough.
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I got her name from my friend Caitlin so Jen.
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I will link her in the show notes.
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I will blast her on Instagram as well as she is so great.
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I went in with telling her I want new commercial Rep and we
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met for like, I think we met three maybe 4 times for an hour
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each. And she was so helpful in
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getting my materials dressed right, especially for submitting
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Fiat commercially, two agencies. And she came in with a certain
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number because I didn't want to blast out like 500 emails again
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like I did that, you know, years ago.
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And I'm not in that position, like I don't want to do that
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again. And so we wrote the e-mail
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together. She came with the e-mail list of
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like, I think it was 11 people to submit to.
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And we got all the material together, wrote the e-mail, sent
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them out. I heard back from five people. 5
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out of 11 is like within a day or two is a great response.
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So I had five meetings with different commercial agents and
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that was great. I also was very clear because I
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did not leave my current Rep at the time until I was finding new
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one. And I feel like that's always
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like a should I, shouldn't I, who should I, should I break up
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with this person before I start dating this person?
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And I was very transparent with everyone that I did.
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I was still commercially wrapped, but I was very open and
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honest with my Rep at the time that I was looking for people.
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They knew it was coming. It wasn't like I all of a sudden
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ghosted them or this was coming out of the blue.
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So I think that was a relief to the people I was meeting with
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that they were aware. Like, I'm good with
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communication. I'm not going to like leave you
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high and dry. Don't worry.
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Like it was not, it's not a surprise.
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But all of the meetings went really well and yeah, it was
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actually such a relief. Like waiting all of that time
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knowing that I needed new Rep and just putting it on the back
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burner for so long and so long and then finally doing it was
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such a relief again. Jen was so helpful and making it
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happen like so quickly too, which I feel like it's so easy
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for actors to be like, well, I need to do this first.
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I need to get my XY and Z together first or I need to
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leave my reps first. And all of the millions of
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reasons that we have to like not do something right away.
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And it was hard to leave. It was hard to leave my Rep, my
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reps because again, they were not going to keep me
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theatrically. But and I also I had been with
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them for so long, but I sent a simple kind e-mail of like, you
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know, we had spoken about this. I found new Rep.
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However, I worded it like, thank you guys so much for all of your
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all of your work. Let's stay in touch, blah, blah,
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blah. Obviously, you never want to
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burn any bridges with reps and they're lovely people.
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And it was nothing personal. And I think that's also a thing
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that actors get stuck in with like loyalty to reps where it's
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like they work for us and if it's not working, it's not
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working. Like you don't want to be dating
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someone who like, it's not working, it's not working.
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It has to be working on both sides and it is business and
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it's hard also. You think they're going to take
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us so personally? And then the response is we wish
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you best of luck. Like honestly, that was the
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responses. So, so yes, so my meetings with
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the new reps, they were all lovely.
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They were all great. One of my red flags from one of
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them was that they were very much pushing going ficor, which
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is fine, but there everyone else was kind of like, it's your
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life, it's your career if you want to go ficor, yes, if you're
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not. And these one person was, you
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know, pushing it a little bit more, which I didn't love.
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They were kind of in the same boat as my current Rep that was
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saying, you know, well, you're sagged now, there's nothing you
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can do about it. So, so I didn't love that.
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So that kind of went to the bottom of my list.
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And then another, another Rep was talking a lot about being, I
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can't think of the word like more of a spokesperson, like
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HHSN, home shopping. Yeah, type of person, which I'm
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not saying no to, but I don't want that to be like the go to.
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Again. All of these people were so
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great. Those were just, I had to be
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really nitpicky. And then it came down to 2
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agents that I really, really liked both of them and I had a
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really hard time picking. But the ones I went with, I feel
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like they could get me in. So I'm going, I'm, I'm with
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lemon lime now and I feel like that was the best decision for
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me. But it was a really hard, it's
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really hard when you have good choices of like, how do I pick?
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How do I pick? So yeah, I, it was nice to not
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go through that not being represented portion, which I
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feel is also another reason that a lot of people hold off on
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getting new reps because you're like, well, how long am I going
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to be without reps? And I'm sure it's a little bit
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different theatrically. Again, this is commercially, but
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I think as long as you're open and have clear communication
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with your current reps, if you're going to be looking and
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your future reps that you're going to be meeting with, I
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think that's always out of the gate.
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I was also pleasantly surprised that like nobody asked.
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Well, of course, why would they ask about like, if you, if I was
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a mom, I, I didn't talk about being a mom.
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I didn't. Well, that's not true.
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I did talk about being a mom, but I, it came up naturally in
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conversation. I didn't bring it up as like a
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thing because who cares? And honestly, and nobody gave a
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flying hoot, nobody cared that I was a parent.
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That was one of the one of the agencies I met with.
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Both people had young kids and that was a poll for me because I
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was like, oh, they'll get me. They'll get it.
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They'll understand. I didn't end up going with them,
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but that was nice to have that connection with them as well.
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But that being said, I did bring up in conversation that I was a
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mom. Nobody asked if if being a mom
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had ever deterred me from auditions or, or, well, what are
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you going to do if you need to audition or how are you going to
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handle that as a mom and a parent?
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How are you going to do that? Nothing.
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Nobody asked anything. And that was like, I don't know
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if I was expecting them to, but they didn't.
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And it was such a relief where it's like, yeah, moms get shit
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done. We can do this.
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I don't know, like, I guess it's just because it was my first
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time doing that as a mom, like interviewing as since I've been
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a mom. So yeah, it was nice to be like,
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oh, you don't care about that part of my life, which like
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obviously I am open to talk about very clearly and and did
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talk about it to them, but it was nice that it wasn't a
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concern for them. And I didn't bring it up as
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like, oh, also I'm a mom. But don't worry, I won't miss
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any auditions. Having a kid has never been a
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problem because I didn't even want to put that in their mind
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because it has it has never been a problem.
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It has never deterred me from auditioning or getting booked.
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So why even bring that up as a possibility?
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So I didn't, but I feel like if it is going to be an issue for
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you, that is something you should bring up.
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Like, hey, just an FYII Am you know, if I'm a single mom or my
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husband doesn't work for whatever it is.
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Like if you're going to have certain time restraints or
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issues with auditioning, I think that's fair to just lay out on
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the table. Be like, I'll get it done.
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But just a heads up. I don't know, I don't know.
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Or just feel it out with the people.
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Like, do you know they're going to be jerks if you don't send in
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a self tape, like right as soon as it's, you know, emailed to
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you? I don't know.
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But I think those are fair things to talk about and have
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open communication with with with any Rep for sure.
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Yeah. And I, I think that since
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becoming a mom, I feel like my not well, yes, obviously my
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priorities have shifted, but affecting like who I want to
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work with and how I present myself.
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I feel like I come in a lot more confident in who I am and I feel
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like that is apparent or like obvious through like how through
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the response that I got, like I'm very I'm not afraid to just
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be myself anymore. Oh, I lost my light.
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Sorry about that. But I think that that being a
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mom that has A and with just age in general, that going in and
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being like, this is who I am. And I'm not trying to be like,
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Oh, I'm a businesswoman or Oh, I'm I'm probably going to do mom
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auditions. So I should look like a mom.
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One of my main, actually one of my biggest fears is that people
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are going to think I'm stupid And I, you know, I know that's
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something I need to deal with in therapy and all of that, but I
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think it's also how I speak and I'm pretty energetic and I, you
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know, if I but now. I'm not afraid to talk how I
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talk and say like or this or be like.
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I actually don't know what you're talking about, can you
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explain it to me? That's fine.
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And I have found such a better response to me being authentic
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and not knowing something as opposed to pretending that I
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know something. And then I ask a follow up
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question and then I'm like, oh shit, like I actually don't know
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what you're talking about. So it always works out better to
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just be your, your authentic self, right?
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I mean, that's just, you know, life, life lessons for anything
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anyway, So what I was looking for most in a new Rep in new Rep
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was really them get pitching me and getting me in the room.
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So fingers crossed. But it's been a couple weeks and
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we it crickets so far. But but I know it's hard and
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hopefully it's just a learning curve.
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But that was my main thing is like having reps that I see
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their name on the call sheet, like they're the ones bringing,
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getting people in the room. They have the connections with
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the casting directors who are bringing people in.
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So yeah, so. So that's that, yeah.
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I feel like bigger picture that a lot of times we feel like
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needing new rap is, I don't know, I feel like part of it was
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like, Oh my God, I'm this old and I've been here this long and
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now I'm looking for new rap again.
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Like it feels like starting over, but I, I'm trying not to
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see it as starting over. I'm trying to see it as stepping
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forward into the next chapter. And again, we, you know, reps
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work for us. Would they only make money if we
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make money? All that jazz.
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It's our careers at the end of the day.
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But I think lesson is that if something's not working out, I
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won't wait as long to make a change.
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I feel like, you know, if I'm not inside the life that I want
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to be living, I have to make those, those changes and big
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changes can be scary. And I know that it seems like a
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kind of small thing just finding new Rep, but yes, actors like
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that is kind of a big thing. So, so making those changes,
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changes, changes hard no matter what.
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So I think allowing yourself to have whatever feelings you have
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around them, be it emotional, be it whatever that that it's OK.
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I think you have to trust your timing and trust where you want
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your career to go. And again, just like listen to
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your own self talk, No, probably not.
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Listen to your own intuition. There's where I'm going.
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Listen to your own intuition. Make sure that you're your
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advocate first, especially when it comes to reps I think it's
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important that, like I said, have that open communication.
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Be yourself straight off the bat because you're not going to be
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wanting to pretend to be whoever you were in the meeting for, you
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know, X amount of years or however long you're with this
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new Rep. Like you got to be you they're
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and definitely commercially because they're commercially
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you're selling yourself. I mean, same for theatrically
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pretty much too. But yeah, I think being yourself
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is always important. I've said that a million times.
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Anyway, I'm going to go through a couple questions that that
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sorry that I had and that I'm that other people had for me.
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So how did you know it's time to leave your Rep?
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Like I said at the beginning, I it was just like no auditions, 0
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auditions and just felt like I was not.
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The excitement about me wasn't there.
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I think that was a big thing. Like the excitement, their
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excitement for me wasn't there anymore.
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And I want somebody who's excited for me, who's excited to
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pitch for me and try and get me in the room and tell me what
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they're doing and all of those things.
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Did motherhood change what you want from representation?
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Not really. A little bit, I think.
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I think it did. I think I don't know if this is
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motherhood. I think it's just aging that I'm
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OK with it not being like such a personal relationship.
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I went into it being like, I don't care if the person is like
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the nicest person. Like, of course I want them to
25:50
be the kindest person, but like, I just want them to like get the
25:55
work done and like work on my behalf and all of that.
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So I do feel like, yeah, I don't think it's motherhood, but I
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think just getting older that I'm like, yeah, this is a
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business. Let's, I mean, of course I'm
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going to be kind and professional and personable, but
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like, let's just can we like mom's got to pay the bills.
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Let's get shit done the hardest. What is the hardest part
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emotionally about letting go? I think just like feeling bad
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that you're leaving people who have worked hard for you and but
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again, that's a whole you, just you, they're not going to take
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it personally. So you should try and not to
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take it personally. It's like you can't just stay in
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a relationship because the other person kind of likes you.
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How did you actually do it? e-mail, conversation, logistics,
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logistically, I just emailed them.
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Yeah, I said, you know, we've kind of talked about this and
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I'm going in a different direction and wish you all the
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best. And thank you so much for
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everything you've done. It was a very short e-mail and
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was received well. And yeah, that's all I did.
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What advice would you give someone afraid to make that
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move? Just do it.
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Just do it. Just get it over with.
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Like you're only going to be like, why didn't I do this
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sooner? Also, contact Jen de Pablo.
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So again, her information I will put in the show notes and I will
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tag her on Instagram. Jen, everybody reach out to Jen.
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She will get this done for you. It's so great.
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She's amazing. What are you doing differently
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as you look? Well, I'm not looking anymore
27:51
for commercial Rep, but what did I do differently was work with
27:56
Jen was I didn't do 500 emails. I didn't do a long e-mail.
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You know, it was a very to the point.
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Here's my stuff. The end Like that was such a
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relief too. And somebody, one of the people
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I met with were actually like, one of the reasons we met with
28:18
wanted to meet with you was because of your e-mail.
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Like your e-mail was so great and made me want to open your
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materials. So he was like, kudos on the
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e-mail. And I was like, great.
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And you guys, I makes it sound like this e-mail was like some
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genius thing. It was like a paragraph.
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Like it was super simple, but like the certain bolding of
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words and all that. Like, yeah, I think that was
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helpful. How do I balance wanting to work
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with wanting to be present for my family?
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I mean, I don't think that's really related to this
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particular situation or episode, but there there is no balance.
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I mean, I think that's what I've come to find is that you balance
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as much as you can, but it's always going to shift one way or
29:13
the other. I feel like I hear that a lot
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where it's like if I'm really succeeding at work, I'm probably
29:20
not doing the best at home and vice versa.
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But yeah, hopefully I get more work and then I'll get back to
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you on on more of the balance. I got to get more of the work to
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see to see how that balance is going to go.
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But anyway, I hope that me sharing a little bit about my
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situation, my experience leaving commercially and theatrically
29:51
and finding new commercial Rep was helpful in any way to you or
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entertaining, I don't know. But now my next step is since I
30:04
had to leave my Rep across the board, now I have a commercial
30:09
Rep. So fingers crossed that things
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start picking up with them and my next step is to find new
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theatrical Rep, which Jen, I will be calling you or emailing
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you. All right.
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Well, thank you so much for being a part of Mommy Wood and
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hopefully I'll see you soon. Take care.
30:30
And that's our episode. Thank you so much for listening
30:34
and being a part of Mommy Wood. I am so, so happy to have you
30:37
here. A huge thank you to my dear
30:40
friend and amazing producer Cecilia Tripp with Laurel Canyon
30:44
Creative and a big thank you to Edith Mudge for our theme music.
30:48
If you could please make sure that you like follow subscribe
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listening. Take care.