Latest / All About The Joy / Regrets, Friendships, Val Kilmer and the Art of Cutting Toxic People Out of Your Life
Transcript
- 0:05Carmen Lezeth: hey everyone, welcome to all about the joy how you guys doing hi rick, cynthia, mario alma, what's up?
- 0:13Maurio Dawson: buenos noches, buenos dias, buenos tardes, depending on where you are oh, are we wearing prints?
- 0:20Maurio Dawson: We are official paisley park merch.
- 0:24Maurio Dawson: Yes, it is.
- 0:26Carmen Lezeth: I wanted to talk a little bit about Val Kilmer.
- 0:29Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if you guys are fans, but you know he passed away yeah.
- 0:36Rick Costa: Batman Forever.
- 0:37Rick Costa: I just watched that movie because of him, like today.
- 0:40Carmen Lezeth: You've never seen it before.
- 0:42Rick Costa: I have, but it's been so long yeah.
- 0:46Carmen Lezeth: You know what?
- 0:46Carmen Lezeth: I never fight with people about who the best batman is.
- 0:49Carmen Lezeth: Like I'm not gonna go down that hole, but he had the hottest lips as batman and I've enjoyed watching him as a homicide okay, like if that matters.
- 0:59Carmen Lezeth: I've never been a fan of of dc but I do like the batmans, but I do think he was um, that was not the best batman.
- 1:06Carmen Lezeth: We'll just say that that nor or nor clunies was trash garbage I think clunies was worse than val kilmer hot garbage, yeah, hot garbage.
- 1:19Carmen Lezeth: But I wanted to start a little bit with just talking about, like one of the quotes that val Kilmer is known for saying about regrets, because I was having a lot of regret feelings this week about a lot of different things and I thought we would talk a little bit about it.
- 1:35Carmen Lezeth: But he said I have no regrets because I have lost and found parts of myself that I never knew existed and I thought that was an interesting thing.
- 1:42Carmen Lezeth: I never knew existed and I thought that was an interesting thing.
- 1:44Carmen Lezeth: I used to pride myself on saying I have no regrets because I think if you do the best you can with the information you have in front of you, that's all you can do.
- 1:52Carmen Lezeth: That's the best you can do.
- 1:55Carmen Lezeth: But I've been regretting a lot of things lately, so I just wanted to know what you guys thought about regrets or about Val Kilmer, or about any of his movies or Go ahead, Mario.
- 2:07Maurio Dawson: Well, no, I mean, you know, I actually, I mean I actually watched his documentary when it came out, remember, and it was very interesting to get his perspective and to hear his voice, you know, as he was, you know, on the decline, and so I got to learn more about him as the man versus the actor, and I think it was very insightful that, you know, and it was, it was a very kind gesture of his son to you know, use his voice for his dad.
- 2:43Maurio Dawson: Yeah, to use his voice for his dad, yeah, and it gave me a more rounded view of who he was as a man, not the actor, and I think he was a good man and he was a pretty good actor.
- 2:57Maurio Dawson: He's got some great stuff.
- 3:01Carmen Lezeth: Juilliard-trained actor.
- 3:02Carmen Lezeth: He was really way up there as a great actor that don't mean nothing, well it does when it's not an ordinary actor.
- 3:11Carmen Lezeth: It's still shocking because he's young, you know, um, and he had so much.
- 3:16Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, he was 65, um, but he had so much.
- 3:19Carmen Lezeth: People know him as iceman from top gun is what people know him from, but I remember I think he was like one of my first crushes too.
- 3:27Carmen Lezeth: The movie was Real Genius which is a really it reminds me it's not at all the same as, but it's in that same time period of, like War Games, that kind of whole you know area time period.
- 3:40Carmen Lezeth: He was a great actor, but I think one of the things that I regret um, just to get back to that, because that's kind of what I want to talk about today is I I had opportunities that I didn't take because I was afraid I didn't jump with both feet.
- 4:00Carmen Lezeth: And yet there are other things that I've done and everyone thinks I'm like God, that's so scary, like moving to California and not knowing anybody.
- 4:06Carmen Lezeth: Do you guys ever have any things that you wish you had done?
- 4:13Carmen Lezeth: And when you look back on it you're like, damn it, I should have just done that, I should have just jumped in.
- 4:22Maurio Dawson: I wish I didn't get on the pole so much back in the day.
- 4:24Maurio Dawson: But no, I wish I didn't get on the poll, so much back in the day.
- 4:28Alma Dawson: No, I'm so joking, you went right up my nose.
- 4:35Alma Dawson: Thank you, mario.
- 4:39Carmen Lezeth: I'm so joking.
- 4:40Carmen Lezeth: This is a G-rated show.
- 4:43Carmen Lezeth: Well, they didn't see the show?
- 4:47Alma Dawson: Is that how you met Alma?
- 4:49Alma Dawson: Honestly, now, at this age, I don't have any regrets, because all the decisions that I made, all of the things that happened to me, you know, brought me to the places where I am and, you know, taught me lessons, taught me valuable lessons.
- 5:11Alma Dawson: Now, if you would have talked to me when I was, you know, 25, then I would have been like, oh, I regret so much and I wish I would have done this.
- 5:21Alma Dawson: I wish I would have done this, and you know, but I think with age comes definitely wisdom, um, you know, but I feel like I'm still constantly learning and if there's things that I feel like I haven't gotten to do, I still have an opportunity to do them.
- 5:35Alma Dawson: Don't waste time.
- 5:36Alma Dawson: You can't buy time back.
- 5:37Alma Dawson: That's the one thing you can't get back.
- 5:40Alma Dawson: So don't waste your time on things that you know steal your energy, steal your joy.
- 5:45Alma Dawson: You know.
- 5:46Alma Dawson: Just be Like what?
- 5:48Alma Dawson: Like what?
- 5:48Alma Dawson: Toxic people.
- 5:50Maurio Dawson: Boom.
- 5:52Carmen Lezeth: And that is the end of our show.
- 5:56Alma Dawson: Whether it's family, whether it's friends that you've had for many, many years, whether you know, whatever it may be, just don't waste your time.
- 6:08Carmen Lezeth: You know what I think that's one of the things I regret, though, I think, is that and I'm really good at cutting people out Like amazing, and today, when I was talking to Alden, we were having this conversation about regret we were talking about Val Kilmer I was telling him like I don't talk to people anymore that get on my every nerve.
- 6:25Carmen Lezeth: If you can't make my life easier, I'm done.
- 6:28Carmen Lezeth: And there are people who are they're not upset with me, they're confused.
- 6:31Carmen Lezeth: They're like why didn't you call me?
- 6:33Carmen Lezeth: Why didn't you do this?
- 6:34Carmen Lezeth: I'm like I just it has to be easy.
- 6:35Carmen Lezeth: If it's not easy, I'm not doing it.
- 6:39Maurio Dawson: Actually, I just did a post, a story, yesterday, and I basically told people in the story don't feel bad about cutting off connections, bad connections when you were the only one doing all the work, hello.
- 6:52Maurio Dawson: And so you know, I don't feel bad about cutting those bad connections off, because if I was the only one doing all the work then we didn't have a real connection anyway.
- 7:06Maurio Dawson: So you know what Chalking up the deuces.
- 7:09Maurio Dawson: God bless you, have a good life.
- 7:12Maurio Dawson: I wish you well from afar.
- 7:14Maurio Dawson: Bye-bye.
- 7:15Carmen Lezeth: See you, but Cynthia, what about you, rick, what about you?
- 7:20Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I used to regret not going to college earlier and not taking advantage that my stepfather worked at BU and I could have gone for free if I would have gotten in.
- 7:31Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I know, I know I didn't know that, but I think it was better that I waited, because at least now I didn't waste the time not knowing what I wanted to study, and that would have been money just wasted.
- 7:47Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Even though I still owe student loans.
- 7:50Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But at least now I know what I want to do and I'm working towards that.
- 7:54Carmen Lezeth: Is there a reason why you didn't do it back then?
- 7:56Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That you know of.
- 7:57Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I really didn't know what I wanted to do, so why waste the time and money?
- 8:06Maurio Dawson: Well, okay, this is one Alma and I have talked about private, but we'll share it.
- 8:12Maurio Dawson: Well, I'll share it.
- 8:14Carmen Lezeth: I was just going to say did you ask?
- 8:15Carmen Lezeth: Uh-oh, I'll share it.
- 8:17Carmen Lezeth: This is where it gets spicy.
- 8:20Maurio Dawson: Go ahead.
- 8:21Alma Dawson: I don't know what he's going to say.
- 8:25Maurio Dawson: No, we've had a very challenging conversation about having additional children and so we didn't.
- 8:33Maurio Dawson: We had.
- 8:35Maurio Dawson: We should have had our second child right after we had Marissa, but I chose to wait and I was like I think it's too soon and I, you know, I didn't want to rush, I wanted some space.
- 8:49Maurio Dawson: And now, looking back, I kind of regret that.
- 8:53Maurio Dawson: But then, in other terms, I don't regret it because I got sick, and I got really really sick, really really bad, and we had two kids, for, you know, alma actually becoming a single parent at one point, because I was so sick, I was on dialysis, I was in the hospital months at a time.
- 9:15Maurio Dawson: That would have been a lot on her.
- 9:18Maurio Dawson: So I regret not having a child, but God understood why I wasn't supposed to have an extra child having a child.
- 9:22Maurio Dawson: But God understood why I wasn't supposed to have an extra child because had Alma had that extra body all over her all the time, it would have been even worse for her and even for me.
- 9:36Maurio Dawson: Because you know I have regrets, but then I don't.
- 9:39Maurio Dawson: But that was one big regret.
- 9:41Maurio Dawson: If it makes sense, you know what?
- 9:47Maurio Dawson: I'm not doing this with you tonight.
- 9:50Maurio Dawson: I'm not doing this with you.
- 9:51Maurio Dawson: Don't sit up there and give me this blank face.
- 9:56Rick Costa: I've seen people get in a whole lot being sad in the face, I know, I think they can feel it through the podcast.
- 10:02Alma Dawson: I understand.
- 10:03Alma Dawson: I understand your feelings on the situation, but you know that those were not my feelings.
- 10:10Maurio Dawson: No, and we've had that conversation.
- 10:12Maurio Dawson: Yeah, I mean.
- 10:13Maurio Dawson: So you know.
- 10:15Maurio Dawson: Welcome to the newlywed game.
- 10:18Carmen Lezeth: Because, my understanding, Alma, if you could I mean, we don't want to get all up in your business, but you would have handled it- she felt like she would have handled it.
- 10:28Alma Dawson: Whether you have one or you have five, you figure it out.
- 10:32Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So, let me ask would you adopt?
- 10:36Alma Dawson: now.
- 10:36Alma Dawson: Yeah, but we have had this conversation as well.
- 10:40Alma Dawson: We definitely do want to adopt yes as well.
- 10:43Alma Dawson: We definitely do want to adopt, it has to be our grown, almost grown, because she's not grown up yet.
- 10:53Alma Dawson: Half-grown child, adult, semi-adult child needs to be in her own home.
- 11:00Maurio Dawson: Yeah, in her own space.
- 11:02Alma Dawson: In her own space so that we can bring another child into our home.
- 11:05Alma Dawson: Yeah, in her own space.
- 11:05Alma Dawson: In her own space so that we can bring another child into our home.
- 11:08Maurio Dawson: I think Mursa would be a great big sister, but it just when you have an only child over a certain age, it's just like you're raising two only children and you would think that your only child, your only adult child, would not demand the same attention.
- 11:25Carmen Lezeth: I think that your only child, your only adult child would not demand the same attention.
- 11:27Carmen Lezeth: I think that's normal.
- 11:29Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, still hard, but it would be.
- 11:32Alma Dawson: It's normal, yeah, so no, yeah, we're, we've definitely had that conversation, so that's definitely in the in the future.
- 11:38Alma Dawson: And now it's just about agreeing about the age range.
- 11:40Alma Dawson: So yeah, I'm not changing on diapers, so the age range.
- 11:41Maurio Dawson: Yeah, I'm not changing my diapers.
- 11:44Alma Dawson: So you know, and that's fine, I've agreed to that.
- 11:48Rick Costa: What's with the attitude?
- 11:50Carmen Lezeth: What's with the attitude?
- 11:51Carmen Lezeth: I'm attitudinal Rick.
- 11:56Carmen Lezeth: What about you?
- 12:00Rick Costa: And regret.
- 12:01Rick Costa: I'm currently still watching more of this Is Us.
- 12:04Rick Costa: I'm in the middle of the second season and you regret you didn't watch it back in the day, so I can't regret it now, but, um, yeah, randall wanted to adopt and then they adopted a girl and he was like she was like a troubled child.
- 12:19Rick Costa: So it's really interesting the whole thing.
- 12:22Rick Costa: And then, mom, anyway, usually when you said adoption, I was like, oh yeah, I just watched that.
- 12:27Rick Costa: But, um, mine is I think I brought it before it's work related where I took a promotion that I didn't know in hindsight but it was the stupidest thing I could have did, because I got fired three months later because I was the newest person in that department.
- 12:44Rick Costa: Yeah, they laid off all the newer people in whatever department they were.
- 12:48Rick Costa: Had I not done that and I didn't even want to, they literally pressured me to do it.
- 12:53Rick Costa: They're like we think you should do it, we think you can do it.
- 12:56Rick Costa: I was like I'm perfectly happy where I am.
- 12:58Rick Costa: Had I not done that, it probably would have been changed my life a lot, because after that I got divorced not too long after that.
- 13:07Rick Costa: But the one good thing that did happen again God knows what he's doing I guess my cousin the one that died when she was 34, that was very, very close to that's when her cancer got really, really bad and she needed extra help.
- 13:21Rick Costa: So it all worked out.
- 13:23Rick Costa: It was still purpose-filled.
- 13:25Rick Costa: Yeah, my scripture thought yesterday was God, he works all things for the good.
- 13:30Alma Dawson: Yes, yes, yeah.
- 13:34Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry.
- 13:37Maurio Dawson: You laughing?
- 13:39Maurio Dawson: You know You're okay with that, aren't you?
- 13:41Maurio Dawson: You already know where her brain went.
- 13:44Carmen Lezeth: Because I was just talking to Alden, who's an atheist, and we were having a whole conversation about how God works Really.
- 13:53Rick Costa: With atheists.
- 13:54Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, he's like a Ricky Gervais atheist of everyone else's faith, but really smart when it comes to how having the conversation about the belief in God or not.
- 14:11Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
- 14:12Carmen Lezeth: That's why I started laughing, because I just had that.
- 14:15Carmen Lezeth: That's why I was running so late, because I was on the phone with Alden talking about too many things.
- 14:21Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, Is there a movie that you guys ever regretted watching?
- 14:25Carmen Lezeth: Did you ever walk out of a movie?
- 14:32Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm scared right now.
- 14:33Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh, I want to know, Mario.
- 14:36Maurio Dawson: La La Land.
- 14:37Maurio Dawson: That was the worst movie of my life.
- 14:45Maurio Dawson: I was so annoyed.
- 14:49Maurio Dawson: No, no, no, no.
- 14:50Maurio Dawson: I was so annoyed.
- 14:53Maurio Dawson: I actually walked out and I said can you give me my money back, because I can't get these two hours of my life back.
- 15:01Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Give me my money.
- 15:03Carmen Lezeth: I loved La La Land.
- 15:04Carmen Lezeth: I loved it.
- 15:07Maurio Dawson: Hot garbage, oh my God Wow.
- 15:11Carmen Lezeth: Okay, yep, we will agree to disagree.
- 15:15Alma Dawson: I don't know Like wow, I don't know what it was, yeah.
- 15:18Maurio Dawson: Garbage Trash.
- 15:21Maurio Dawson: Oh my God Trash.
- 15:23Carmen Lezeth: Wow Okay, calmate, calm down.
- 15:27Carmen Lezeth: Okay, that's your thing, it's okay Of all the movies we love musicals.
- 15:35Rick Costa: Yeah, I do we love musicals, love them.
- 15:39Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And that was not it.
- 15:41Alma Dawson: That was not it.
- 15:44Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'm not going to argue with you why you hated it.
- 15:47Carmen Lezeth: I, I, I'm the complete opposite.
- 15:49Carmen Lezeth: I would actually say it's in my top 20 movies.
- 15:53Maurio Dawson: I thought it was a great movie.
- 15:54Maurio Dawson: Yeah, bless my heart.
- 15:56Carmen Lezeth: It's a good movie, I, I mean.
- 15:57Carmen Lezeth: I think also it.
- 15:58Carmen Lezeth: You know it well.
- 15:59Carmen Lezeth: We don't have to talk about why I love it, but it, it is one of those pieces of art you either love or you don't have to talk about why I love it, but it, it is one of those pieces of art you either love or you don't.
- 16:05Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if I would ask for my money back, but I thought it was going to be something like well, to me, that's not the worst movie.
- 16:18Carmen Lezeth: So, cynthia, you hated La La Land.
- 16:20Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I did.
- 16:21Maurio Dawson: I.
- 16:21Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I.
- 16:22Maurio Dawson: I hated it I yes, wow, I did, I hated it.
- 16:24Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: My people yes.
- 16:27Carmen Lezeth: Wow, rick, did you even see La La Land?
- 16:29Maurio Dawson: I heard of it.
- 16:30Maurio Dawson: You didn't miss nothing.
- 16:31Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, yeah, you did it was awesome, I didn't even look at it.
- 16:34Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh my God, and I still don't understand how they won.
- 16:36Alma Dawson: Don't waste a Googler.
- 16:38Rick Costa: No, they won what?
- 16:40Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Rick.
- 16:41Rick Costa: They won what they Rick?
- 16:41Rick Costa: They won, they won what they won.
- 16:43Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: for best picture, they won an Oscar for best picture.
- 16:47Carmen Lezeth: How I don't know.
- 16:47Carmen Lezeth: It deserved it.
- 16:48Carmen Lezeth: It totally deserved it.
- 16:51Carmen Lezeth: It did I think too.
- 16:53Carmen Lezeth: Look, we don't have to.
- 16:54Carmen Lezeth: They voted studio yeah.
- 17:01Rick Costa: They did not deserve it.
- 17:01Rick Costa: I'm switching.
- 17:02Rick Costa: I didn't watch it.
- 17:03Carmen Lezeth: It's okay, we can just move on.
- 17:05Rick Costa: I'm switching.
- 17:05Carmen Lezeth: I didn't watch it, it's okay, don't move on.
- 17:07Carmen Lezeth: I think people have different tastes.
- 17:12Maurio Dawson: I've never been so annoyed at a film in my whole life.
- 17:17Alma Dawson: I tried.
- 17:18Alma Dawson: I still say it.
- 17:19Alma Dawson: I'm going to give it a chance.
- 17:22Alma Dawson: I'm going to say he waited outside in the lobby.
- 17:25Alma Dawson: He was like I'll be to give it a chance, I'm going to stay.
- 17:26Alma Dawson: I'm going to stay.
- 17:26Alma Dawson: And he waited outside in the lobby.
- 17:26Alma Dawson: He was like I'll be out here whenever you're done.
- 17:28Alma Dawson: Wow, OK, stop.
- 17:30Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It was horrible.
- 17:32Carmen Lezeth: I think it's your opinion and that's fine, but I mean, I understand that you didn't like it, but it is just not your flavor, that's OK.
- 17:40Carmen Lezeth: That's how I feel about horror films and Disney.
- 17:46Carmen Lezeth: No, no, I don't like horror films.
- 17:47Maurio Dawson: But I've had movies where I've been bored.
- 17:49Maurio Dawson: I've had movies where I could you know I could sit through it.
- 17:52Maurio Dawson: I went to school for this, like I've studied film from the 1900s.
- 17:58Carmen Lezeth: Is it okay that it just wasn't your thing?
- 18:00Carmen Lezeth: Can you just leave it at that?
- 18:02Carmen Lezeth: Can it just be like you know what?
- 18:03Carmen Lezeth: Just let it work?
- 18:04Carmen Lezeth: No, I'm just wasn't your thing.
- 18:10Carmen Lezeth: Can you just leave it at that?
- 18:11Carmen Lezeth: Can it just be like?
- 18:12Alma Dawson: you know what just didn't work?
- 18:12Alma Dawson: No, I'm just like.
- 18:13Alma Dawson: I'm just saying the entire academy voted it best picture it's possible.
- 18:14Alma Dawson: It's just not your thing and I know they're probably won't buy.
- 18:15Alma Dawson: One vote what they probably won't buy one vote it was still up in the running one vote, wait a minute.
- 18:25Rick Costa: Tell me you hate something without saying you hate it.
- 18:27Rick Costa: Wait, wait.
- 18:27Maurio Dawson: They weren't in Best Picture, did they?
- 18:30Maurio Dawson: It wasn't, didn't Moonlight?
- 18:31Carmen Lezeth: be banned that year?
- 18:32Carmen Lezeth: No-transcript.
- 18:35Carmen Lezeth: No, they did.
- 18:35Carmen Lezeth: They won.
- 18:35Carmen Lezeth: It received widespread acclaim and won numerous awards, including six Oscars.
- 18:40Carmen Lezeth: Let's see what Oscars it won.
- 18:44Maurio Dawson: No, I thought Moonlight beat them that year, you know what it did go to Moonlight.
- 18:48Carmen Lezeth: You're right, that was the one that was the mistake.
- 18:51Carmen Lezeth: Yes, Remember they said Best Picture was La La Land and then it was like nope, it was Moonlight.
- 18:58Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But it did win six Oscars.
- 19:00Carmen Lezeth: so actress, best director, cinematography, original score, original song and production design yeah.
- 19:08Rick Costa: So when they announced it, they announced it wrong.
- 19:10Rick Costa: Is that what happened?
- 19:11Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, at the.
- 19:11Maurio Dawson: Oscars yeah, they did, it was a big, thing, yeah.
- 19:17Carmen Lezeth: And they announced it to La La Land, everybody jumped and they got up there and everything and then they were like oops, mistake.
- 19:22Maurio Dawson: Bye, bye.
- 19:23Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's still light.
- 19:23Maurio Dawson: Yeah.
- 19:26Alma Dawson: And I didn't even love it.
- 19:28Carmen Lezeth: But I get it.
- 19:29Rick Costa: I get why it won, but I didn't love it, but I did walk out, and that's the only move I've ever done of the cable guy.
- 19:34Rick Costa: I told y'all I brought my then girlfriend and then she decided to bring her friends.
- 19:39Rick Costa: I'm like what you doing?
- 19:41Rick Costa: And then the movie.
- 19:42Rick Costa: I was already annoyed because of that situation in the first place.
- 19:45Rick Costa: And the movie.
- 19:46Rick Costa: I like Jim Carrey, but this movie I couldn't stand it.
- 19:49Rick Costa: I was like I gots to go.
- 19:50Rick Costa: You could stay watch out, not stay there.
- 19:52Maurio Dawson: I feel you.
- 19:54Carmen Lezeth: But I don't think you hated Cable Guy as much as they hated La La Land.
- 19:58Carmen Lezeth: Feeling your energy, that's some hate right there.
- 20:02Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia, what movie did you hate?
- 20:07Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Oh La La Land, my Girl.
- 20:11Alma Dawson: That was going to be your favorite my Girl, my Girl.
- 20:12Maurio Dawson: My Girl, my Girl, my Girl, my.
- 20:12Alma Dawson: Girl.
- 20:12Maurio Dawson: My.
- 20:13Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Girl, my Girl, my Girl, my Girl, my Girl.
- 20:15Rick Costa: My Girl that one.
- 20:16Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Well, no, I saw it at home.
- 20:18Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: But that movie and Clockwork Orange, that movie was just really fucked me up, sorry.
- 20:28Alma Dawson: I get that.
- 20:30Rick Costa: I love psychological humor.
- 20:34Alma Dawson: You know it's disturbing, but Clockwork.
- 20:36Carmen Lezeth: Orange is a classic.
- 20:37Carmen Lezeth: I mean it's Stanley Kubrick.
- 20:39Carmen Lezeth: I get it.
- 20:42Maurio Dawson: I get why you wouldn't like it, for sure.
- 20:44Maurio Dawson: It makes sense why you don't like it.
- 20:46Carmen Lezeth: But nobody liked it.
- 20:47Carmen Lezeth: I mean not that nobody liked it, but it's the art.
- 20:50Carmen Lezeth: I mean it's disturbing.
- 20:51Maurio Dawson: It's the art of it yeah, yeah, fucking Stanley.
- 20:55Rick Costa: Have you never walked out of a movie?
- 20:56Rick Costa: Cynthia ever Literally walked out.
- 20:58Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No, I've never walked out.
- 20:59Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: No.
- 21:00Maurio Dawson: What about you, Carmen?
- 21:01Maurio Dawson: What movie have you hated?
- 21:05Carmen Lezeth: Because I know you got one.
- 21:07Carmen Lezeth: So there are movies I won't go to to see, like I would never go see the Cable Guy in a movie, but I've never walked out of a movie.
- 21:17Carmen Lezeth: If I go in, I'm like Alma, I will sit through it or whatever.
- 21:19Carmen Lezeth: Let me just give it a shot, whatever.
- 21:20Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
- 21:20Carmen Lezeth: I think one of the movies that I regret watching was probably Silence of the Lambs, and I watched it, I know, but let me, oh my God, what is with the two of you today, people?
- 21:31Carmen Lezeth: You guys are on fire.
- 21:34Carmen Lezeth: What happened?
- 21:36Carmen Lezeth: Let me just tell you why Because it's not my genre.
- 21:40Carmen Lezeth: I don't like anything scary or whatever, and the only reason why I watched it is because I watch every movie that's nominated for an Oscar.
- 21:46Carmen Lezeth: And it had been nominated and somebody told me everything about it and I went and to this day it still disturbs me.
- 21:53Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
- 21:53Carmen Lezeth: It's like I still.
- 21:55Maurio Dawson: You know I don't love it when you hear Keontae and Father Beans that is the best movie ever.
- 22:02Carmen Lezeth: I'm not saying it's not.
- 22:03Carmen Lezeth: It deserved the Oscar that year too.
- 22:05Carmen Lezeth: I'm not saying it's not.
- 22:05Carmen Lezeth: I'm saying for me it's one of the ones I regret Best movie what.
- 22:12Maurio Dawson: No, she's a little extra with that.
- 22:13Maurio Dawson: I enjoyed it, but it wasn't that deep for me.
- 22:18Alma Dawson: That's one of my favorites.
- 22:20Rick Costa: Yeah, it's rare for a horror movie to win an Oscar, isn't it?
- 22:22Rick Costa: Yeah, it is.
- 22:24Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if it was.
- 22:25Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I think, the reason why it was not considered horror.
- 22:29Carmen Lezeth: It was considered psychological.
- 22:31Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, like it was more acceptable because it was drama or whatever.
- 22:39Carmen Lezeth: What were you going to say?
- 22:40Alma Dawson: say, rick, I'm sorry um I forgot okay, we were talking about the best movie silence of the lambs.
- 22:47Rick Costa: You were saying something oh, the best movie, yeah, the best movie.
- 22:51Rick Costa: I just had something coming from my feed saying 10 movies that black people get annoyed if you haven't watched.
- 22:57Rick Costa: And I'm like, oh okay, okay, yeah, I saw that, I saw that.
- 22:58Rick Costa: I saw that I saw everyone except.
- 22:59Rick Costa: And I'm like, oh, okay, okay, yeah, I saw that, I saw that, I saw that I saw everyone except one.
- 23:02Rick Costa: And I was like, oh, I don't think I saw that it was Harlem Nights.
- 23:07Rick Costa: I know, I knew I was going to get that reaction.
- 23:11Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Don't build that.
- 23:11Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I haven't seen it either.
- 23:13Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: We're done.
- 23:17Maurio Dawson: That's it that trumps La.
- 23:18Carmen Lezeth: La Land crowd, that's criminal.
- 23:20Carmen Lezeth: La La Land we can fight about, but that's criminal.
- 23:31Rick Costa: You gonna shoot people in the big town.
- 23:32Rick Costa: I'll watch it soon, wow.
- 23:34Rick Costa: Every other one I saw.
- 23:36Rick Costa: That's a good time.
- 23:37Rick Costa: Come on now.
- 23:38Rick Costa: You know I'm gonna watch that one.
- 23:38Rick Costa: Go do yourself a favor, that's a good time.
- 23:39Maurio Dawson: I was like come on now, you know I'm going to watch that one.
- 23:39Maurio Dawson: No, go, do yourself a favor and have a good time.
- 23:42Maurio Dawson: That is a good time movie.
- 23:44Maurio Dawson: You're going to laugh.
- 23:46Carmen Lezeth: That's criminal.
- 23:48Maurio Dawson: Della Reese.
- 23:50Alma Dawson: I saw like a Twitter.
- 23:51Alma Dawson: You watched that crap.
- 23:53Maurio Dawson: As my daughter says, that's crazy work.
- 23:55Maurio Dawson: You haven't seen that, that's crazy work.
- 23:57Maurio Dawson: No, that's crazy work.
- 24:01Maurio Dawson: You haven't seen that that's crazy work.
- 24:01Maurio Dawson: No, it's like, it's one of the.
- 24:02Maurio Dawson: It's considered a classic for sure.
- 24:05Maurio Dawson: Like when you see it, when you hear us say pinky toe, you gonna know right away, because it's a classic line, everybody knows it.
- 24:20Carmen Lezeth: Okay, I need to know what's going on with you two.
- 24:22Carmen Lezeth: What happened before you came on?
- 24:24Carmen Lezeth: There's something.
- 24:24Carmen Lezeth: How about?
- 24:27Rick Costa: sex.
- 24:27Rick Costa: Oh my, I also saw Paradise.
- 24:35Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Did you like?
- 24:36Alma Dawson: it, loved it, loved it.
- 24:43Rick Costa: Two snaps around the world.
- 24:46Maurio Dawson: I just took Cynthia out.
- 24:47Maurio Dawson: She's done.
- 24:49Carmen Lezeth: Oh Lord, oh my Lord.
- 24:57Alma Dawson: I live with her.
- 24:58Rick Costa: I never saw Cynthia laugh so hard.
- 25:00Carmen Lezeth: What is happening?
- 25:01Carmen Lezeth: I'm not sure I'm going to be able to air this on Sunday.
- 25:04Carmen Lezeth: You started it.
- 25:07Carmen Lezeth: I started it.
- 25:09Carmen Lezeth: What did I do?
- 25:11Maurio Dawson: You said what's going on over there?
- 25:13Maurio Dawson: Y'all spicing and all of this stuff.
- 25:15Carmen Lezeth: Like I said, I don't even know where we're going now.
- 25:20Carmen Lezeth: It's just going to be one of them shows.
- 25:22Carmen Lezeth: We're talking about regrets.
- 25:23Carmen Lezeth: I guess we're not talking about regrets we had this show today.
- 25:28Carmen Lezeth: I'm regretting Whoa.
- 25:33Maurio Dawson: I was trying to have a topic show, but I think I'm done.
- 25:36Maurio Dawson: I don't know, you've got to laugh, man, you've got to laugh, you gotta laugh.
- 25:39Carmen Lezeth: Seriously, what's going on with you guys today?
- 25:41Carmen Lezeth: It's great, but what's happening?
- 25:42Carmen Lezeth: What did you guys do?
- 25:44Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: He already told you it's third Is that it?
- 25:50Maurio Dawson: Yeah, just the afterglow of love.
- 25:54Carmen Lezeth: The afterglow.
- 25:55Carmen Lezeth: Oh Lord have mercy, I have to live with you.
- 26:00Alma Dawson: I have to live with you.
- 26:01Alma Dawson: Oh my God.
- 26:06Maurio Dawson: No, we're just having a good day.
- 26:07Maurio Dawson: That's all.
- 26:08Maurio Dawson: Oh, my God, you asked.
- 26:13Carmen Lezeth: So who did you wrong that you had to post that on your story?
- 26:18Maurio Dawson: Oh, Not who but like?
- 26:19Carmen Lezeth: what was the circumstance?
- 26:20Maurio Dawson: well, okay, I have certain people in my life who will show up when it's convenient for them, but then when you look for reciprocation and and or a need from a friend, and then they they're not present from you for you like where you at so you, you, you, you cut people out or you give them space, but you don't cut them out completely, because you give them some grace or whatever well, no, I start.
- 26:49Maurio Dawson: I start by having real conversations.
- 26:53Maurio Dawson: I'm a, I'm a direct person.
- 26:55Maurio Dawson: I say what I mean, I mean what I, and with my friends, it's strike no chaser.
- 27:00Maurio Dawson: You ask me and I always ask my friends are you sure you want me to give my opinion, or do you want me to be an active listener?
- 27:09Maurio Dawson: What do you want?
- 27:11Maurio Dawson: And then they'll say, no, mariel, I want you to tell me the truth.
- 27:14Maurio Dawson: Okay, are you sure?
- 27:17Maurio Dawson: Okay, cool, and I'll just rapid fire it off and they're like, they're shook, and so, okay, well, but that's the truth.
- 27:27Maurio Dawson: And so it's not my truth, it's the truth, and they'll realize oh, you know what?
- 27:33Maurio Dawson: You're absolutely right.
- 27:34Maurio Dawson: But then, once they get their healing, and then I need a friend, they're nowhere to be found, and then that just, it's not you ever ask them why?
- 27:43Carmen Lezeth: I'm just curious.
- 27:44Maurio Dawson: Yeah, we also know that sometimes people are going through things and I give people grace for that.
- 27:48Maurio Dawson: But then there are some people who are just selfish and narcissistic.
- 27:53Carmen Lezeth: That's a fact.
- 27:53Carmen Lezeth: That's a fact, that's true.
- 27:55Carmen Lezeth: And then.
- 28:00Carmen Lezeth: It's just simple as that.
- 28:00Carmen Lezeth: The reason I ask is because I just you know, I this is one of the things alden and I were talking about was I just turned around and said I have cut people out and they're upset or confused as to why I cut them out?
- 28:08Carmen Lezeth: and I said I first of all, I don't have the time.
- 28:12Carmen Lezeth: One of the things is I don't have the time to explain to you how to behave in our friendship, because we're 20, 30, 40 years on now.
- 28:23Carmen Lezeth: You haven't figured me out yet.
- 28:25Carmen Lezeth: Like that pissed you off about me and then you thought it was better to go talk to somebody else about it than to come to me and you thought I wasn't gonna find out about it.
- 28:34Carmen Lezeth: What?
- 28:35Carmen Lezeth: are we in high school no I was like no, here's the thing I will not do, and I use the big word for myself.
- 28:41Carmen Lezeth: Even alden was like oh.
- 28:43Carmen Lezeth: I was like I'm not having performative friendships anymore.
- 28:46Carmen Lezeth: I don't need them I don't owe nobody anything.
- 28:50Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean like I don't owe you nothing just because 35 years ago you let me sleep on your couch once you know've already been appreciative.
- 29:00Carmen Lezeth: I'm done Enough already.
- 29:03Carmen Lezeth: So I'm done with the performative kind of friendships.
- 29:05Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry that you're annoyed at me, frustrated or whatever, but I think people make up in their head who they think you are and then they expect you to behave that way all the time.
- 29:20Carmen Lezeth: You know what I'm saying.
- 29:21Carmen Lezeth: So I was just having the same conversation.
- 29:24Carmen Lezeth: That's why I was curious, like it's one of those things where friendships have to be, not a two-way street, because it's not always the same time, right, no it?
- 29:32Maurio Dawson: does have to be reciprocal in the fact that there's going to be times where I'm going to show up for you and I'm going to be a hundred percent there for you, but you're going to have to show up for me at some point.
- 29:46Maurio Dawson: Because if you're not showing up for me, even at 50% of the way that I showed up for you, then we really don't have a relationship, and it was definitely-.
- 29:57Carmen Lezeth: But, mario, here's the problem.
- 29:58Carmen Lezeth: So I'm going to do what they say to what they said to me.
- 30:00Carmen Lezeth: Mario, you don't ever need me, you don't ever need me, you're on your own, you're so strong.
- 30:07Carmen Lezeth: No, that's what.
- 30:08Carmen Lezeth: No, no, that's what I'm saying, that's what that would be my question.
- 30:10Maurio Dawson: Who said that?
- 30:11Maurio Dawson: Who told you that?
- 30:12Carmen Lezeth: well, my whole thing was I don't.
- 30:13Carmen Lezeth: So I, I didn't say, I didn't say that way.
- 30:15Carmen Lezeth: I said that is a belief system you've made up in your head.
- 30:20Maurio Dawson: Boom.
- 30:20Maurio Dawson: But see, I straight asked the question like who told you that?
- 30:23Maurio Dawson: Did I say that to you?
- 30:24Maurio Dawson: Did those words come out of my mouth?
- 30:27Maurio Dawson: Because you're assuming and you know what they say about assumptions.
- 30:33Maurio Dawson: You understand what I'm saying, so therefore don't put words in my mouth.
- 30:37Maurio Dawson: But you saw that I was struggling, you saw that I was having a crisis.
- 30:41Maurio Dawson: You know what was going on in my life, in my personal life, as my friend, because I said you know what I'm going through this.
- 30:49Carmen Lezeth: Oh, I'm sorry, that's all you got like well, no, if somebody tells me that they need something, I get it, but I'm also not a mind reader, right, right, you know what.
- 31:04Carmen Lezeth: Here's the thing too, though this is an interesting conversation.
- 31:06Carmen Lezeth: Here's the thing too.
- 31:08Carmen Lezeth: Why is it?
- 31:10Carmen Lezeth: I'm the only person you come to when you need something like, right, like there are 15 other people, you can go.
- 31:17Carmen Lezeth: What, wait, wait, what, what?
- 31:20Alma Dawson: well, because we're kind of we're kind of mirroring, like what your situation is, kind of mirroring a situation in our lives yeah well, a couple of a couple of situations, you know, and we're kind of handling it differently.
- 31:35Alma Dawson: I got you, you so, yeah, so, when everything that you're saying it's like conversations that we literally were having last night.
- 31:44Maurio Dawson: Yeah.
- 31:44Alma Dawson: Literally.
- 31:46Maurio Dawson: Like just you know, private conversation where you're like you know what I'm tired of X, y and Z, you know.
- 31:53Alma Dawson: Only reaching out to them.
- 31:54Alma Dawson: Yeah, only reaching out to you know all the negative.
- 31:57Alma Dawson: I'm like.
- 31:57Alma Dawson: Well, it's like they're treating us like a garbage, can they're coming and putting all the bad stuff?
- 32:04Maurio Dawson: You're dumping on me, but you're not pouring into me.
- 32:07Maurio Dawson: You understand what I'm saying.
- 32:09Maurio Dawson: I understand.
- 32:11Maurio Dawson: I'm not your trash can.
- 32:13Maurio Dawson: I'm not just going to keep taking all your garbage in, but you're not pouring into me.
- 32:20Alma Dawson: Not sharing anything positive, not sharing good, only bringing the negatives.
- 32:25Carmen Lezeth: I told somebody that day they need to go get therapy.
- 32:28Carmen Lezeth: I'm not a therapist.
- 32:29Alma Dawson: That's the next step.
- 32:30Alma Dawson: That's going to be the next step.
- 32:32Alma Dawson: We're trying to do it in a kind way.
- 32:36Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'm more bitchy as I get older, which is, but we're trying to do it in a kind way.
- 32:40Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, do it in a kind way.
- 32:43Alma Dawson: I'm more bitchy as I get older, which is hard to believe.
- 32:45Alma Dawson: Well, that's, I know, right.
- 32:48Carmen Lezeth: I just really I think as you get older it gets easier to let go of people, yes, and not to keep trying to get back to regret.
- 32:57Carmen Lezeth: It's easier to let go of people and not to keep trying to get back to regret.
- 33:00Carmen Lezeth: But I do regret that I didn't go with my gut instincts when I was younger and realize that you don't have to have a whole bunch of people around you, especially if all they're spewing is toxicity.
- 33:08Carmen Lezeth: Like I wish I knew that when I was younger and could have made some bigger, smarter decisions to let go of people much quicker.
- 33:17Carmen Lezeth: But it is kind of that thing where you're just kind of like you're just exhausted by the same.
- 33:22Carmen Lezeth: It's the sameness and it's like what you're saying.
- 33:26Carmen Lezeth: People keep dumping negativity and toxicity in you and then you're supposed to just take it or help them or fix it.
- 33:34Carmen Lezeth: And I'm like bitch, I'm tired, I got my own stuff and you're not helping me in any way, shape or form.
- 33:40Carmen Lezeth: You're not doing nothing to make my day smile or make my day better.
- 33:43Carmen Lezeth: You're not even asking me how are you that part?
- 33:48Alma Dawson: And see for me, even I don't have to have a long conversation with you, I don't need a lot, but just check on me to say, hey, we haven't talked in a few days or in a couple of weeks.
- 33:59Alma Dawson: You doing, okay, everyone, all right, that's all I need Just to feel like, oh okay, someone's thinking about me, you know, because sometimes that's just what people need.
- 34:08Alma Dawson: They just need to know that someone's thinking about them.
- 34:10Alma Dawson: Somebody cares, you know, but you know some people can't even do that for you.
- 34:16Alma Dawson: So it's kind of like okay, well, you are on mute, I'm on mute too, and I'm really like done and people don't understand if I'm done, I'm done, yeah, I'm good.
- 34:25Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, it's like a light switch.
- 34:26Carmen Lezeth: I'm just it's not even something I'm trying to do, it just happens.
- 34:30Carmen Lezeth: It's so interesting because you use the same verbiage and I know what you mean.
- 34:33Carmen Lezeth: But they said to me I need you to check on me on a regular basis, because I need to know that I'm not alone.
- 34:41Carmen Lezeth: And I was like, okay, here's the thing you have a husband and you have family.
- 34:47Carmen Lezeth: Why is it my responsibility to check on you on a regular basis?
- 34:51Carmen Lezeth: And it was kind of this thing where it was like I understood what she was saying, but it was also putting a lot of pressure on me, like so if I don't email you or text you or call you, then you're upset because I haven't reached out and text you and call you.
- 35:03Carmen Lezeth: But you could just as easily motherfucking pick up the goddamn stupid ass phone and do the same shit.
- 35:09Alma Dawson: That part and that's how I feel about it too.
- 35:11Alma Dawson: Phones work both ways.
- 35:13Alma Dawson: I've had the same phone number for over 20 years.
- 35:15Alma Dawson: So you, I've had the same phone number for over 20 years.
- 35:17Alma Dawson: So you know, now, now, if I feel like, oh, I, someone comes into my thought, you know, to my brain, my thought bubble, I'm like, well, you know what?
- 35:27Alma Dawson: Let me shoot off a quick text.
- 35:29Alma Dawson: Hey, thought about you today, hope you're doing well, send, and that's it.
- 35:34Alma Dawson: I send the message and that's it.
- 35:36Alma Dawson: I'm not expecting a message back, I'm not expecting anything.
- 35:39Alma Dawson: But you know, it was on my heart to reach out to that person.
- 35:43Alma Dawson: So I did not expecting anything back.
- 35:46Alma Dawson: But you know, and that does happen from time to time and I'll be like you know what I thought about so-and-so today.
- 35:50Alma Dawson: So I sent them a, a message.
- 35:54Carmen Lezeth: 70% of the time they won't respond back see, okay, okay, I'm gonna disagree with you then, so this is what we're gonna.
- 36:01Carmen Lezeth: Anybody sends me a message, I respond right away.
- 36:04Carmen Lezeth: I just do it.
- 36:05Alma Dawson: I do it, but like I said, the best is something about them.
- 36:09Alma Dawson: You understand what I'm saying, not about me.
- 36:12Alma Dawson: You know what I'm saying, but I don't want to be like, oh, I thought about them.
- 36:16Alma Dawson: Let's say they fall over dead.
- 36:17Alma Dawson: You know, three days later, and I'm oh, I thought about them.
- 36:18Alma Dawson: Let's say they fall over dead.
- 36:19Alma Dawson: You know, three days later, and I'm like, oh, I thought about them and I didn't reach out.
- 36:22Maurio Dawson: I mean, Would this happen?
- 36:25Alma Dawson: But you know so that's what I'm saying.
- 36:28Carmen Lezeth: I'm a little bit different.
- 36:29Carmen Lezeth: If I send you a message, you can do a fucking thumbs up in your text message, something to let me know you got it If not.
- 36:35Carmen Lezeth: I'm very different.
- 36:38Carmen Lezeth: No, if I've gone out of my way and sent you a quick message, you can just thumbs up or wave something, Cause if not, then I get worried.
- 36:47Carmen Lezeth: But it's so funny, Like I haven't talked to him in a long time.
- 36:51Carmen Lezeth: We haven't talked cause he's been traveling or whatever.
- 36:53Carmen Lezeth: And so when he just called, I picked up and we were talking and I said, oh my God, it's almost an hour.
- 36:59Carmen Lezeth: And he's like what are you talking about?
- 37:00Carmen Lezeth: We've always talked for like three hours.
- 37:02Carmen Lezeth: I'm like dude, we have never spoken this long.
- 37:08Carmen Lezeth: But it's so funny because you just get into the whole conversation, whatever.
- 37:12Carmen Lezeth: And it's just.
- 37:13Carmen Lezeth: I'm okay having the low moments where we don't talk for whatever reason.
- 37:17Carmen Lezeth: You're in another country, I'm really busy, whatever.
- 37:20Carmen Lezeth: But real friendship can distinguish that yes, between you just not being there for me yes, because I know for a fact.
- 37:28Carmen Lezeth: If I text alden, I knew he was in switzerland and I text him and said I needed to talk.
- 37:32Carmen Lezeth: That motherfucker would have been on the damn phone yeah, exactly I love the ones.
- 37:38Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I love the ones when you know a person dies and all these people show up and they're like, oh my god, they were such a wonderful person.
- 37:46Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It's like really, where were you all these years?
- 37:49Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You never called, you never looked for them, you never asked about their family.
- 37:53Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Like no, don't come to my fucking funeral if you haven't called me.
- 37:57Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Ask about my family when I'm gone.
- 38:01Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Don't ask about my family afterwards because you didn't care when I was here.
- 38:07Alma Dawson: I've given Marissa permission to do and she knows.
- 38:10Alma Dawson: You'll know who's been in our lives and you'll know who hasn't.
- 38:13Alma Dawson: You don't have to.
- 38:16Alma Dawson: You can call specific people and tell them when my Don't come You're not welcome.
- 38:22Alma Dawson: I told her she can do it and.
- 38:26Alma Dawson: I told her.
- 38:28Alma Dawson: I will give you a list of the people who I want to make remarks and you're going to pre-record them and it's going to be played at the service.
- 38:36Alma Dawson: Nobody's going to get a chance to get up to the mic and say, oh, I remember no.
- 38:45Carmen Lezeth: She can control, even where she go.
- 38:47Alma Dawson: I love that I can't stand that.
- 38:51Carmen Lezeth: Well, my cousin was going to say something, Rick.
- 38:54Carmen Lezeth: You were going to say something.
- 38:55Rick Costa: Sorry, I was going to just put a little twist on it.
- 38:57Rick Costa: I have a lot of patience, maybe more than almost anybody I know.
- 39:02Rick Costa: I mean, look at my situation I'm living in.
- 39:04Rick Costa: But everybody got a tolerance of what they can take and I can't stand when people think they can keep abusing me and I'll forgive because I'm a Christian and know 70 times 7 and, yeah, I will try my best.
- 39:19Rick Costa: But don't turn around and get mad at me when you have abused me and mistreated me and try to make me be the villain when I say I'm done with you.
- 39:30Rick Costa: You did this, not me.
- 39:33Rick Costa: Oh, I hate that.
- 39:36Alma Dawson: Oh, I don't have a problem telling people, I don't mind being the villain in your story that part, that part I never have a problem at all yeah, not, and I know I am no, I'm a villain in a lot of people's story and I'm happy to wear that crown I think also people um your, the, your style, the way in which you, you're just like Alden in that.
- 40:01Carmen Lezeth: I don't know why, it's because I just got off the phone with him.
- 40:03Carmen Lezeth: That's why we had a really great conversation.
- 40:05Rick Costa: Shout out to Alden, Hi Alden.
- 40:08Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Hi Alden.
- 40:11Carmen Lezeth: And happy early birthday.
- 40:12Carmen Lezeth: His birthday is in April.
- 40:14Carmen Lezeth: Oh, happy birthday.
- 40:15Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, he'll be in Spain on his birthday.
- 40:18Carmen Lezeth: I still have to text him.
- 40:21Carmen Lezeth: But his stuff, we were talking about this.
- 40:23Carmen Lezeth: He doesn't like confrontation, which you don't either, whereas me and Mario, and I believe, alma too, we okay with confrontation.
- 40:29Carmen Lezeth: We okay with it and it's not one is better than the other, it's just different styles.
- 40:34Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
- 40:34Carmen Lezeth: But the reason why some people turn around and do that to you and do that to Alden is because they actually think that they can make you feel bad for the circumstance that they did you know what I mean that they created, whereas what they don't realize is that especially because, as I know you, you don't forget that shit, you may be kind about it, whereas I might just say the state, you know the straight up truth, you don't forget that shit, you may be kind about it, whereas I might just say the state, you know the straight up truth, you don't forget it and you do handle it.
- 41:02Carmen Lezeth: Just differently.
- 41:04Rick Costa: You know what I mean there's a guy today on my um.
- 41:07Rick Costa: There's a facebook group I have and this one guy.
- 41:10Rick Costa: Every time he pops in to say something, he's asking for money.
- 41:13Rick Costa: I'm like brah.
- 41:14Rick Costa: He's like I'll send you the receipt.
- 41:17Rick Costa: Our electricity got shut off, my wife got brought to the hospital.
- 41:20Rick Costa: I ain't got enough gas to get to the job.
- 41:22Rick Costa: I'm gonna get fired.
- 41:22Rick Costa: Then I'm gonna do that and I'm like, okay, sad story, we all have one.
- 41:26Rick Costa: I was like, but can you?
- 41:28Rick Costa: People are telling me they're sick of hearing you asking for money, so I'm giving you a chance, please stop doing it.
- 41:34Rick Costa: And he did it again today.
- 41:36Rick Costa: And I was like, okay, that's it Banned.
- 41:38Rick Costa: And all these messages.
- 41:39Rick Costa: Thank you Rick.
- 41:40Rick Costa: Thank you Rick.
- 41:40Rick Costa: I was supposed to get him.
- 41:41Rick Costa: Thank you, rick.
- 41:42Rick Costa: Affecting everybody that much, but yeah.
- 41:47Carmen Lezeth: Well, because it's hard to keep hearing people begging for money the same person, though.
- 41:52Maurio Dawson: Yeah.
- 41:52Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I mean.
- 41:54Rick Costa: And the craziest thing is he has never come on any of our broadcasts mine or the other two people.
- 41:59Rick Costa: I've never even seen him.
- 42:00Rick Costa: Why are you coming here asking for money?
- 42:03Carmen Lezeth: Even if he did.
- 42:03Carmen Lezeth: I mean, you and I both know of a similar situation where, you know I don't, this whole joke about me being bougie and having money has really bad ramifications, because people then keep asking me for money and they keep going to other people to ask me for money and so I had to turn around and cut people out Cause I'm like I don't.
- 42:21Carmen Lezeth: First of all, even if I did, I wouldn't give it to you because I ain't a fucking bank.
- 42:26Carmen Lezeth: And secondly, why are you asking me?
- 42:30Maurio Dawson: No, it's a okay.
- 42:32Maurio Dawson: All the listeners and all the viewers.
- 42:35Maurio Dawson: Carmen is not a bank.
- 42:38Maurio Dawson: She is truly.
- 42:41Maurio Dawson: She's not bougie, she's bougie-toe.
- 42:44Carmen Lezeth: Bougie-toe.
- 42:45Maurio Dawson: She is not bougie.
- 42:47Maurio Dawson: Okay, there is a big damn difference.
- 42:50Maurio Dawson: Get out of her pocket.
- 42:51Maurio Dawson: People in the back hear that.
- 42:53Rick Costa: Just making sure, yes.
- 42:54Maurio Dawson: All the people in the balcony, in the mezzanine, in the loge, all up in the corner and rose easy look.
- 43:02Carmen Lezeth: I've asked people for money when I got in trouble, when I had, especially during, uh, when the economy tanked back in 2000 what was it?
- 43:10Carmen Lezeth: 2008-9?
- 43:11Carmen Lezeth: Um, and I lost my home, like so many people did, and I couldn't get work.
- 43:16Carmen Lezeth: After that.
- 43:17Carmen Lezeth: It was really hard.
- 43:18Carmen Lezeth: I asked people for money.
- 43:20Carmen Lezeth: Now, I didn't do it like rent.
- 43:22Carmen Lezeth: I asked my family, my brothers from another, mother's you know what I mean.
- 43:26Carmen Lezeth: And here's the thing I didn't have to ask them.
- 43:30Carmen Lezeth: That's what I'm saying.
- 43:32Carmen Lezeth: I didn't even have to ask.
- 43:33Carmen Lezeth: They knew and they were like we're going to send you this, we got things, we're going to hook you up.
- 43:40Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Yeah, what you need.
- 43:40Maurio Dawson: We see you struggling, that's family, and that's friends who show up for you, who are supposed to do it the right way.
- 43:44Maurio Dawson: I'm like me, who had someone just calling me on the rando asking me for money and wait, but wait, wait.
- 43:53Maurio Dawson: Didn't ask me for money once.
- 43:55Maurio Dawson: Asked me for money four times, wait.
- 44:00Maurio Dawson: Did you give it to them the first time?
- 44:01Maurio Dawson: No, I said no.
- 44:03Maurio Dawson: I said oh no.
- 44:04Maurio Dawson: I said my daughter's in school, which she was.
- 44:07Maurio Dawson: I said she's in college.
- 44:09Maurio Dawson: I said we're trying to wrap up school tuition, all this stuff, even though she was on scholarship.
- 44:14Maurio Dawson: That's not the point.
- 44:15Maurio Dawson: We still had bills we had to take care of.
- 44:18Maurio Dawson: I said no, I don't have it.
- 44:19Maurio Dawson: Then they went down by $50 the next month.
- 44:23Maurio Dawson: Can I have this much?
- 44:24Maurio Dawson: I don't have it.
- 44:26Maurio Dawson: Then it went down by another $50.
- 44:29Maurio Dawson: The next month I don't have it.
- 44:30Maurio Dawson: I tell you what I say send me your Venmo or your Zelle.
- 44:34Maurio Dawson: I said when I have it I'll send it to you which you've never gotten Right they're still waiting on it.
- 44:43Carmen Lezeth: I've always said if I won the lottery, if I came into a lot of money, the first rule is anybody who asks me for money would not get any.
- 44:51Maurio Dawson: I'm asking you now.
- 44:55Alma Dawson: I can't stand them, I can't.
- 45:00Maurio Dawson: That way, I have a prerequisite.
- 45:02Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm asking now You're breaking this half a day.
- 45:04Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: So, mario and Elma, has anyone asked either one of you for money?
- 45:10Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And if you didn't have it, did they ask your spouse?
- 45:14Maurio Dawson: No, they know better.
- 45:15Alma Dawson: Yeah, anybody who knows us knows that we are a united front.
- 45:21Maurio Dawson: And we've told each other stuff like that.
- 45:24Carmen Lezeth: Except with me and Mario.
- 45:31Rick Costa: That's like the banana, the chocolate the bullshit, Mario look.
- 45:34Rick Costa: I always tell people, if you tell some, if somebody is married and you told one, you've already told them.
- 45:44Carmen Lezeth: I know, cynthia, that's happened with you in one I know that's happened with you at one.
- 45:48Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: That's crazy.
- 45:49Alma Dawson: But for people to think that you you could do that to one and not think that you're going to tell your spouse or ask your spouse, but I mean, and not think that you're going to tell your spouse or ask your spouse, but I mean.
- 46:04Alma Dawson: I think that there's people who think like that's how you operate, but the thing is that if you've ever truly had a healthy relationship, you understand that it's a partnership.
- 46:13Carmen Lezeth: I've had the opposite problem happen.
- 46:14Carmen Lezeth: So I remember somebody offered to help me and it was here's the thing this person has tons of money.
- 46:19Carmen Lezeth: Well, you know, compared to us they're comfortable, comfortable.
- 46:27Carmen Lezeth: And I forget why.
- 46:28Carmen Lezeth: I think it was during the same time period and I remember being like you know what, if you could send me like $1,200, that would help me just for rent for the next two months or something.
- 46:38Carmen Lezeth: I was like and I could piece it together whatever.
- 46:40Carmen Lezeth: And he was like I got you, don't worry, I'll do it.
- 46:43Carmen Lezeth: Here is the worst thing you could ever do.
- 46:46Carmen Lezeth: So I'm waiting for the money to come into my account or to be mailed.
- 46:54Carmen Lezeth: Three weeks weeks later, I have to reach out and be like right, don't offer people fucking money or don't offer someone desperate and say I can help you.
- 47:07Carmen Lezeth: And I had to reach back out to him.
- 47:09Carmen Lezeth: This is why we don't talk, no more.
- 47:10Carmen Lezeth: I swear to God.
- 47:11Carmen Lezeth: This is why we don't talk, Because it was so disrespectful.
- 47:13Carmen Lezeth: And then he said the spouse thing.
- 47:15Carmen Lezeth: He's like you.
- 47:16Carmen Lezeth: You know what I have to talk to my wife and I was like, first of all, 1200.
- 47:22Carmen Lezeth: You know what I could see.
- 47:22Carmen Lezeth: First of all, I would never ask anybody for 20 grand or something like that, but 1200 of this person is like you asking me for five bucks and me being like mario I got you.
- 47:33Carmen Lezeth: I'll send you the five dollars right now.
- 47:34Carmen Lezeth: I'm venmo, right like I'm not gonna make you wait three weeks and then you're gonna.
- 47:36Carmen Lezeth: You said you won'll send you the $5 right now.
- 47:37Carmen Lezeth: I'm not going to make you wait three weeks.
- 47:37Carmen Lezeth: And then you said you won't send me the $5.
- 47:40Carmen Lezeth: To this day, it is one of the reasons why I have no respect for that person, because it was such a loser-esque kind of excuse and you don't do that.
- 47:52Carmen Lezeth: First of all, I know it's hard for people to ask for money.
- 47:54Carmen Lezeth: See, this is the other thing.
- 47:55Carmen Lezeth: I know what it's like to not have anything.
- 47:59Carmen Lezeth: I know what it's like to be desperate and to be in pain and to be suffering and to be alone and to needing whatever it is you think you need in that moment.
- 48:08Carmen Lezeth: I got you and it's hard to ask for money.
- 48:10Carmen Lezeth: I've only asked for money, like myself, that person and like one other time when I was a teenager.
- 48:17Carmen Lezeth: Any other time, people who have had money offered it to me because they knew I was in trouble.
- 48:21Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
- 48:29Carmen Lezeth: I know what it's like.
- 48:30Carmen Lezeth: So it's even harder for me to tell people no, because I'm not a bank or I ain't got that.
- 48:33Carmen Lezeth: Somebody asked me one time could you let I swear to you ask me, can you lend me $100,000, I was like what I swear to you?
- 48:46Carmen Lezeth: This is like four years.
- 48:48Carmen Lezeth: Four years ago they were like do you have?
- 48:51Carmen Lezeth: Could you, could you help us out, us family us out?
- 48:55Carmen Lezeth: We're looking for $100,000 if you give.
- 48:57Carmen Lezeth: They had a whole plan and we're looking for a hundred thousand dollars if you give it.
- 48:58Carmen Lezeth: They had a whole plan and we could pay it back in installments.
- 49:02Carmen Lezeth: And I was like, did you say, what did you, what did you say or do that would give them the idea or the familiarity I'll tell you what it is ask you that this is why I don't tell people who I work for, but I think people always assume because I work for rich people that I somehow will have access to money or access to something and and I think that's what it is it's like, and I I stopped talking to that person too clearly, cause I'm like you clearly don't know anything about who I am.
- 49:38Maurio Dawson: No, clearly you fell and hurt yourself.
- 49:40Maurio Dawson: You fell really hard.
- 49:45Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: On their head.
- 49:47Rick Costa: Oscar winning movie.
- 49:48Rick Costa: Did you see me in Right Right, right, right, right, right, right, right?
- 49:51Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: Right, right, right, right, right Right.
- 50:02Carmen Lezeth: Right, look it.
- 50:03Carmen Lezeth: I think money is really hard and I honestly I think Cynthia can vouch for this I don't give a fuck about money.
- 50:11Carmen Lezeth: When I have it, I give it away.
- 50:13Carmen Lezeth: When I don't have it, I don't have it, and I do the best I can.
- 50:16Carmen Lezeth: And whatever, I think money is an unfortunate thing that humans have to deal with and if it wasn't cash money, it would be bartering, it'd be all the same shit.
- 50:25Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean, because that's how we function in society, but I think it's a really terrible thing because I think it hurts more than it helps.
- 50:35Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
- 50:36Carmen Lezeth: Like as far as relationships go, like you have to know who your friends are when you don't got money, because when you do have money, all of a sudden everybody's going to be your friend.
- 50:46Maurio Dawson: Exactly, oh yeah.
- 50:47Alma Dawson: Oh yeah, I think one of the things, one of the one of the things also that Mario and I always say if we have it and we, we give it.
- 50:55Alma Dawson: I always say if we have it and we, we give it, we just give it freely.
- 50:57Alma Dawson: Oh yeah, we don't expect to get it back.
- 50:59Alma Dawson: You know, if we do, then it's a blessing we get it back, but if not, then it's not something that we're like.
- 51:05Alma Dawson: Oh, they owe us.
- 51:11Carmen Lezeth: Well, Cynthia, I'm gonna embarrass you right now.
- 51:13Carmen Lezeth: Cynthia lent me I forget how many thousand.
- 51:14Carmen Lezeth: What was that about?
- 51:15Carmen Lezeth: See, everyone thinks I'm bougie and I'm telling you all the times I needed money.
- 51:19Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I forget how many thousand dollars you lent me, I think it was two or three it was like two or three, but I paid you back.
- 51:24Carmen Lezeth: Right, Because that's the other part of this.
- 51:25Carmen Lezeth: You want to be somebody who honors your word.
- 51:30Carmen Lezeth: You're not going to borrow money right, so you're not the person.
- 51:33Carmen Lezeth: I'm sorry, did I just embarrass you?
- 51:35Carmen Lezeth: No, no, no.
- 51:36Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, I'm not the bougie one people.
- 51:40Maurio Dawson: Okay, what you're saying is Lindsay is the bougie, she's undercover bougie.
- 51:46Carmen Lezeth: Undercover bougie over there.
- 51:48Carmen Lezeth: Okay, no, no, I forget.
- 51:50Carmen Lezeth: I think it was during the same time period, was it?
- 51:54Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I don't know.
- 51:55Carmen Lezeth: I think it was right around COVID.
- 51:56Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: It was COVID.
- 51:59Carmen Lezeth: It was during COVID and you sent me a few thousand dollars or whatever, and I think within the year I paid you right back or whatever.
- 52:04Carmen Lezeth: And that's what you have to do, Like if you're going to ask for money, then you actually should pay it back.
- 52:12Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: And you were funny about it because you're like I could pay you back this day and I'm like it's fine.
- 52:17Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I said, when you have it, pay it back.
- 52:24Maurio Dawson: There's a difference between saying can I borrow?
- 52:26Carmen Lezeth: and can I have?
- 52:27Carmen Lezeth: Do people say can I have to you yes, I've had people say can I have?
- 52:34Maurio Dawson: If I have it, I'll say sure you can have it, because that way I go into it, with the expectation of not getting it back.
- 52:38Maurio Dawson: Can I have it?
- 52:38Maurio Dawson: I'll say sure you can have it, because, see, that way I go into it with the expectation of not getting it back.
- 52:40Carmen Lezeth: Can I have $5,000 more?
- 52:42Carmen Lezeth: I'm asking you now, before you get that money.
- 52:44Maurio Dawson: When I get it.
- 52:45Maurio Dawson: That's what I'm saying I got you, friend, when I get it, I got you.
- 52:48Maurio Dawson: What's your Venmo, what's your cash?
- 52:50Maurio Dawson: Right, I already got your Venmo.
- 52:52Maurio Dawson: See, that's the good thing, I got you It'll just pop up when I got it, you get it.
- 53:00Carmen Lezeth: Money is a difficult thing.
- 53:08Maurio Dawson: When we were really struggling because I was super, super sick.
- 53:11Maurio Dawson: But then those were those people who were just showing up for us to say don't give it back to us, this is a gift.
- 53:15Maurio Dawson: You guys got Marissa.
- 53:17Maurio Dawson: You guys got to take care of each other.
- 53:19Maurio Dawson: Or they would just show up with some groceries, or they would show up with some food, some dinner, or they show up at the hospital with meals for Alma and Marissa.
- 53:30Maurio Dawson: Or we have two of our dearest friends say, hey, let me go come get Marissa so we can give you guys a break, or give an Alma a break and take her to the movies, or take her to the park or get her out of that there are different ways you can pay back.
- 53:48Carmen Lezeth: You don't have to.
- 53:49Maurio Dawson: it doesn't have to be money, but when you just show up and be present and just say I got you, that's all somebody needs to hear.
- 53:58Maurio Dawson: Those are the type of friends you want in your corner.
- 54:01Maurio Dawson: So these people who I have now, who are on some bullshit you missed me with that bullshit.
- 54:06Maurio Dawson: So I see you over there, you know, because then you're not, are you really a friend?
- 54:12Carmen Lezeth: So do you regret having them as friends, or has it just grown into this?
- 54:17Maurio Dawson: No, not at all, because, as the saying goes, some people come into your life for a reason or a lifetime.
- 54:22Maurio Dawson: No, that was not Tyler Perry, no.
- 54:26Alma Dawson: Tyler Perry, and that's so funny because I just saw that Tyler Perry compared the friendships like a tree Right, the tree has leaves.
- 54:36Maurio Dawson: Oh, right, right right, some people have roots.
- 54:38Alma Dawson: They're green, you know, and they're nice and they provide shade, but then a strong wind blows and they fly off because they can't get rid, or they turn brown and they fall and they die and they're gone.
- 54:50Alma Dawson: Some are like branches.
- 54:52Alma Dawson: Some branches are sturdy, but if you get too far out there then they break, he's like, and then you have friends who are roots, the friends who are there and hold you down.
- 55:03Carmen Lezeth: The roots are the people who have the money no.
- 55:04Carmen Lezeth: I'm just kidding.
- 55:05Carmen Lezeth: Those are the real friends, though.
- 55:08Maurio Dawson: We love you real friends.
- 55:09Maurio Dawson: We love you rich friends.
- 55:10Carmen Lezeth: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think that's.
- 55:14Carmen Lezeth: You're absolutely right, there is, but then that's the difference in our friendships and that's a whole other conversation.
- 55:19Carmen Lezeth: That's it.
- 55:20Maurio Dawson: The cousin I told you about.
- 55:21Maurio Dawson: We went to his funeral and he told everybody don't speak at my funeral.
- 55:25Maurio Dawson: He said because you had nothing to say to me, if you, didn't give me my flowers when I was here.
- 55:30Maurio Dawson: Don't give them to me now.
- 55:31Maurio Dawson: He sent that message through the pastor.
- 55:34Alma Dawson: He said so we will have no remarks here.
- 55:36Maurio Dawson: There will be no remarks.
- 55:38Alma Dawson: There were none.
- 55:38Maurio Dawson: There were none.
- 55:39Alma Dawson: And the family had an opportunity to do it.
- 55:42Alma Dawson: They had like a family small service the day before.
- 55:47Maurio Dawson: And he also.
- 55:48Maurio Dawson: They made a running joke about him and the fact that he made everyone sign a contract Because he was rolling in dough, but he made everybody sign.
- 55:56Alma Dawson: Oh that.
- 55:59Maurio Dawson: And he said okay, I'm going to sign a sign here that I gave it to you, okay, and he just he said, not that I'm asking you to give it back to me in time soon, he said, but this is business, family or not?
- 56:13Maurio Dawson: His son-in-law, his kids his wife.
- 56:15Alma Dawson: Everybody went up there talking about it.
- 56:17Alma Dawson: Everybody talked about it.
- 56:19Alma Dawson: I didn't know he was giving the money.
- 56:21Maurio Dawson: Oh, I knew he had money like that.
- 56:23Carmen Lezeth: That's hilarious when I die.
- 56:25Carmen Lezeth: I don't even want all that, I just want a party.
- 56:28Carmen Lezeth: I don't even want everyone to get together, I just want everyone to celebrate my life in their own way.
- 56:33Carmen Lezeth: You know my bench.
- 56:40Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: I'm going to Disneyland.
- 56:41Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: We're going to cremate you, carmen.
- 56:43Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: We're going to cremate you, right, we're going to put a little bit at your spot at your bed.
- 56:50Alma Dawson: No, no no, how about a little piece of every Disneyland, right?
- 56:56Alma Dawson: No, you're not allowed, you're not.
- 56:58Rick Costa: How about a little piece of every Disneyland?
- 57:01Carmen Lezeth: Right?
- 57:01Carmen Lezeth: No, I will be sad and miserable and I will haunt you.
- 57:07Maurio Dawson: We took a haunted mansion.
- 57:08Maurio Dawson: That would be even better.
- 57:10Carmen Lezeth: You all think I'm going to die before you.
- 57:12Carmen Lezeth: That's adorable, very cute, thank you.
- 57:14Carmen Lezeth: No, I don't want any.
- 57:20Carmen Lezeth: I don't want people to get together, whatever, but like I want everyone to just send out an email or text.
- 57:27Alma Dawson: No, I love it when you see those stories and say my, you know when I die.
- 57:32Alma Dawson: I want my kids to send out a text from my phone saying let me out of here, let me out of here.
- 57:38Alma Dawson: I love that, or why are you here?
- 57:42Alma Dawson: I haven't seen you in 10 years.
- 57:47Maurio Dawson: They have to come from that person's phone.
- 57:49Carmen Lezeth: That is so funny I should do that.
- 57:52Alma Dawson: I think I want you to do that.
- 57:53Alma Dawson: She's like Mom, I'm like, I think I do, I think I do too.
- 57:57Alma Dawson: Send it out to all my contacts.
- 58:01Carmen Lezeth: That'd be so mean and funny.
- 58:02Carmen Lezeth: We're past.
- 58:03Alma Dawson: We're going to have to close this up, but any last remarks on regret or joy, of money or friendships, I say don't live in regrets, you know, enjoy, enjoy your life, enjoy your present, leave yesterday in your rearview mirror.
- 58:19Rick Costa: there you go yeah, yeah there's a reason why I gotta put our eyes in the front boom, oh, okay oh, just enjoy every day.
- 58:35Cynthia Ruiz Lopez: You never know when it's going to be your last.
- 58:39Rick Costa: Rest in peace, val yeah, rest in peace.
- 58:41Carmen Lezeth: Val Kilmer.
- 58:42Carmen Lezeth: Thank you everyone, remember at the end of the day it really is all about the joy.
- 58:47Carmen Lezeth: Bye everyone.
- 58:48Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
- 58:52Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy.
- 58:53Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks.
- 58:55Carmen Lezeth: Have a sweet day.