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How can I ensure I still connect with my children? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: When you're caring for a partner or a relative, as well as raising your own children, it's common to worry that your children are missing out on you or that the connection between you is thinning out.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: That worry doesn't mean you're getting it wrong, but that you care about the relationship, even when your time and energy are being pulled in several directions at once.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now connection with your children doesn't depend on having large amounts of free time.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's built in small repeated moments rather than big gestures.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: So the goal here isn't to find hours that you don't have, it's to make the minutes you do have count.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: So a few seconds of real eye contact when you walk through the door, a hug before you both go your separate ways, actually listening without your phone in your hand while they tell you about their day.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: These small moments can add up over time and tell your child that they still matter to you, even on the days where you're stretched thin.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: It also helps to notice the thought that you're failing them just because the day was rushed or imperfect.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: That thought is understandable given everything you're holding, but it doesn't represent the full picture.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And a day going differently to how you planned doesn't undo the relationship that you have been building already.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And practical ways to support yourself with this is to try building in one short predictable pocket of one-on-one time with your child or each child.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Even 10 or 15 minutes where your attention is fully on them and nothing else.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now bedtime is often a good moment for this since children tend to open up more when the day is winding down and there's less pressure to perform.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Where you can involve your children honestly in what's happening at home and age-appropriate honesty about why things feel different at the moment can help them make sense of the shifts they're noticing rather than filling in the gaps with their own worries.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if there are other adults in the household or older children who could take on a task or two, ask them directly rather than assuming they'll notice what's needed.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you notice your child pulling away, becoming more withdrawn or acting out more than usual and it isn't easy with small changes at home, then that's worth speaking to their school or GP or even a family theorist about.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now you can find more support and tools around caring for others in the app, and if you are thinking about harming yourself and feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emercy number or a crisis helpline.