Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 390. 3 Things to let go of today & letting go of self judgement meditation

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390. 3 Things to let go of today & letting go of self judgement meditation · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Todays.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: So for today's episode, I thought to celebrate the launch
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: of my app, Hotel Mindset, which if you didn't hear
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  Speaker 1: my last episode, I kind of dive deep into everything
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  Speaker 1: and all the features about the app, and I'm so
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  Speaker 1: excited that it's finally here. But anyway to cut it short,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: to celebrate the release of the Hotel Mindset app, I
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: thought I would share two different components of what the
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: offerings are in the app. So I'm going to share
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: a mini episode kind of pep talk, and then after that,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to be sharing a meditation for you guys
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  Speaker 1: to really sink your teeth into. On the app, I've
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  Speaker 1: got a whole fold of meditations and new meditations being
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  Speaker 1: added all the time. We've got many kind of pep
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: talk episode. We've got a whole library of workouts, and
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: we're going to be adding workouts every single week as
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  Speaker 1: we go, so that library's only going to get bigger
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: and bigger. There's pilates, there's at home resistance workouts with weights,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: and then there's also a whole stretch library as well.
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  Speaker 1: We've got affirmations, which is very like something that I've
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  Speaker 1: been wanting to do for such a long time, and
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  Speaker 1: this is a very exciting new feature for me. We've
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  Speaker 1: got sleep stories, soundscapes, There's literally something for everyone there,
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  Speaker 1: and yeah, I just can't wait to start hearing everyone's
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  Speaker 1: feedback and how they're enjoying the app and what their
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  Speaker 1: favorite features are. So without further ado, I want you
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  Speaker 1: to sit back and enjoy the mini episode and also
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  Speaker 1: the meditation as well. Love you guys so much. Enjoy it.
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  Speaker 2: So in today's episode, what I wanted to cover is
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  Speaker 2: just three things that you can focus on letting go
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  Speaker 2: of today. Now, these are things that you probably are
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  Speaker 2: aware of. You've probably thought about it before. I mean
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  Speaker 2: maybe for some people you haven't, but I would imagine
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  Speaker 2: that most people have thought of this at some point
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  Speaker 2: or another. But it's always good to be reminded, especially
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  Speaker 2: if it's kind of in a list of three, so
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  Speaker 2: you can group them together and it can be top
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  Speaker 2: of mind, and if you want, you can do kind
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  Speaker 2: of like a you can package it together into a
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  Speaker 2: seven day thing, and when you do something in a
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  Speaker 2: row for seven days, you're more likely to just be
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  Speaker 2: kind of aware of it. So even if you're not
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  Speaker 2: then doing it as strictly moving forward. It's just a
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  Speaker 2: good thing that you can remember when you know one
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  Speaker 2: of these things arises and you're like, I did this
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  Speaker 2: for seven days in a row, was focusing on letting
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  Speaker 2: go of these things. It felt so good. I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to bring it back, all right, So let's begin. The
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  Speaker 2: first thing that you want to let go off is
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  Speaker 2: your need to be understood in order to do what
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  Speaker 2: you want to do. It is okay for not everyone
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  Speaker 2: to get what you are doing and why when you
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  Speaker 2: embark on something, when you make a decision for yourself
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  Speaker 2: or for your immediate family, when you do certain things,
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  Speaker 2: there's always asterisks. In most cases, there's always going to
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  Speaker 2: be someone who either doesn't get it, who just doesn't agree,
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  Speaker 2: who thinks it's stupid, who has their own version of
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  Speaker 2: what you should be doing, who has a better idea
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  Speaker 2: of what you should be doing. That's always going to exist.
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  Speaker 2: And for a lot of people they're just like, oh,
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  Speaker 2: I don't care, this is what I want to do.
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  Speaker 2: That's fine, and they can move on and it doesn't
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  Speaker 2: really phase them. But for probably more people it really
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  Speaker 2: stops them from doing something, because, especially if the person
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  Speaker 2: who's making this judgment cares. A lot of people think, oh,
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  Speaker 2: but I want this person to agree with me, or
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  Speaker 2: I want them to see why I'm doing it, or
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  Speaker 2: I need them to understand, because if they don't understand,
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  Speaker 2: and if they're judging me, and if they think this
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  Speaker 2: is stupid, then I'm going to find it really difficult
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  Speaker 2: to go ahead with it because now their judgment or
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  Speaker 2: their thoughts or their opinions are on the back of
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  Speaker 2: my mind. But you have to remind yourself as long
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  Speaker 2: as not hurting anyone, then it's something that you can
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  Speaker 2: completely let go of because your mind is not going
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  Speaker 2: to operate in the same way that your parents' mind's work,
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  Speaker 2: or your colleagues or certain friends of yours, or even
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  Speaker 2: your partner. We're all individuals with different like life experiences,
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  Speaker 2: with different wants, desires, and needs. So it's okay for
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  Speaker 2: someone to not understand you and you to still go
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  Speaker 2: and do that thing anyway. It is more than okay.
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  Speaker 2: It is normal and it is fine. And just a
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  Speaker 2: little example of this, I've got a couple of friends
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  Speaker 2: that are pregnant at the moment, and we're talking about
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  Speaker 2: child names and things like that, and we were discussing it,
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  Speaker 2: you're going to talk about what the name is going
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  Speaker 2: to be before the child's born, or are you're going
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  Speaker 2: to share it? And we were saying, you know, some
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  Speaker 2: people like it's a massive secret and they don't share it.
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  Speaker 2: And then I was thinking, you know what, I actually
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  Speaker 2: understand why a lot of people don't share the baby's names.
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  Speaker 2: Not necessarily so some other persons doesn't steal the baby name,
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  Speaker 2: but also because everyone's got a fucking opinion, and if
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  Speaker 2: you share a name that you love before the baby's born,
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  Speaker 2: everyone's going to be like, that's a shit name. Oh
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  Speaker 2: my god, no, that's a letter. But if you just
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  Speaker 2: wait until the baby's born, the people are going to
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  Speaker 2: be a little bit more cautious about their opinions on
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  Speaker 2: the baby's name because that's just the name it is.
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  Speaker 2: So it's kind of it's kind of that idea of
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  Speaker 2: you know what, you're going to have your opinion regardless.
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  Speaker 2: So I'm better off just not really letting you in
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  Speaker 2: on all my planning, on everything that I'm doing, because
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  Speaker 2: if you're going to hate it, i'd rather you hate
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  Speaker 2: it behind closed doors and not to my face. Okay,
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  Speaker 2: So it is okay, for you know, for you to
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  Speaker 2: let go of this need to be understood in order
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  Speaker 2: for you to do what you want to do. Number two,
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  Speaker 2: we want to let go of stressing about what you
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  Speaker 2: haven't done yet in the day, in this week, or
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  Speaker 2: in your life. You always have to bring yourself back
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  Speaker 2: to the reminder that what's done is done, and every
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  Speaker 2: day is a clean slate. The past is done. Yes,
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  Speaker 2: it's good to acknowledge that, Okay, I could have been
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  Speaker 2: more productive had I done this. I think the past
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  Speaker 2: serves as a great teacher if you utilize it in
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  Speaker 2: that way. But the amount of time we waste being
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  Speaker 2: like I could have done this, and I could have
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  Speaker 2: done that and I didn't and I'm just a ball
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  Speaker 2: of wasted potential? What are you doing? We're letting go
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  Speaker 2: of that. Okay. Instead you're going to say, how can
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  Speaker 2: I make this information useful and not it and not
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  Speaker 2: have it make me become angry at myself? What is
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  Speaker 2: this lesson? And how am I going to move ahead?
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  Speaker 2: You know? For me, sometimes if I remind myself that I,
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  Speaker 2: you know, oh I should have done this or I
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  Speaker 2: could have done that. The moment I think of something
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  Speaker 2: like that, I instantly turn it to what has this
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  Speaker 2: taught me? Can this be a great motivator? Can this
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  Speaker 2: be the firecracker to get me up and going? Because
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  Speaker 2: I didn't love that feeling okay, So instead of sitting
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  Speaker 2: here and thinking, yeah, well there's no point doing this,
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  Speaker 2: or it's too late now, or I could have done that,
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  Speaker 2: turn that around, turn it around. And then the last thing,
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  Speaker 2: the third thing, is needing answers to feel okay, needing
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  Speaker 2: to have the answer. In order for you to feel
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  Speaker 2: okay about something. You can be a work in progress
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  Speaker 2: and still be happy and still feel complete as a
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  Speaker 2: human and still feel okay. Things don't have to be
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  Speaker 2: perfect in order for you to have a license to
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  Speaker 2: feel good. We wait for everything to fall into place,
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  Speaker 2: for everything to feel completely right to then think, oh,
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  Speaker 2: then I can be happy. But it's always going to
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  Speaker 2: be the other way around. When you start focusing on
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  Speaker 2: your happiness, on the moments that make you happy now,
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  Speaker 2: then things feel right because your perspective of the world
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  Speaker 2: is heavily, heavily, heavily painted by the mood that you're
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  Speaker 2: in at the time. And an example of this is
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  Speaker 2: if you're in a great mood, like a really good
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  Speaker 2: mood and you're at a restaurant and the table next
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  Speaker 2: to you, the people are laughing their heads off. It
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  Speaker 2: makes you want to laugh. You think, oh, I love this,
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  Speaker 2: I love people having fun. It's exciting, it's effect. I'm
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  Speaker 2: fucking here for it.
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  Speaker 1: It's great.
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  Speaker 2: You might even and if someone has a funny laugh,
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  Speaker 2: you might even turn and smile and laugh with them
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  Speaker 2: as well. You know, everyone's in a great mood. It's
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  Speaker 2: this infectious energy. That same scenario is infuriating if you're
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  Speaker 2: having a bad day, if you've had a really stressed day,
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  Speaker 2: a lot on your plate, you're fucking shitty, someone's pissed
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  Speaker 2: you off, someone's gone and done something awful to you,
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  Speaker 2: and then you're also being made to wait. Now you're
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  Speaker 2: sitting at this dress and you're waiting the other person,
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  Speaker 2: you're really annoyed, and then some people can't stop laughing
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  Speaker 2: next to you. That same situation then becomes infuriating because
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  Speaker 2: your mood is different. The stimulus is the same, but
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  Speaker 2: our experience of that stimulus is completely different. So if
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  Speaker 2: you're going to be in a situation where you're thinking,
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  Speaker 2: I will be happy once this thing happens. Now understanding
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  Speaker 2: what I'm talking about. You're gonna realize, well, that just
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  Speaker 2: doesn't make sense. I need to find a way to
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  Speaker 2: harbor and foster happiness now and then I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: perceive every situation, every situation in my life in a
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  Speaker 2: much better light. I'll feel a lot happier. I'm gonna
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  Speaker 2: feel a lot lighter. Everything is going to kind of
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  Speaker 2: fall into place for me in that way because I'm
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  Speaker 2: approaching it in a different way. So to wrap up
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  Speaker 2: the pep talk, these are the three things to let
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  Speaker 2: go off. You need to be understood in order to
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  Speaker 2: be able to do what you want to do. Stressing
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  Speaker 2: about what you haven't done yet in your life or
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  Speaker 2: in this week or today. Instead, you're gonna instead of
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  Speaker 2: stressing about it, you're gonna be like, how can I
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  Speaker 2: actually make this a motivating factor to make me be
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  Speaker 2: like yeah, fuck yeah, this is what I'm gonna do
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  Speaker 2: because I don't want to feel this way. And the
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  Speaker 2: third one is needing something to be right, needing an answer,
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  Speaker 2: needing things to be in place in order for you
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  Speaker 2: to have the license to feel happy and to feel good.
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  Speaker 2: All Right, those three things keep a top of mind.
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  Speaker 2: Write it down, write it on a post it note.
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  Speaker 2: Just remind yourself every morning. Do that for seven days,
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  Speaker 2: and you'll be become more of this you know, automatic
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  Speaker 2: process that you're going to start doing. You're going to
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  Speaker 2: start becoming more aware of these things. You're going to
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  Speaker 2: start noticing when you're leaning into these behaviors so you
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  Speaker 2: can pull yourself out of them quicker, and you're going
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  Speaker 2: to start to feel a whole lot better. Thank you
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  Speaker 2: so much for listening to this episode. Love you guys
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: so much. Always remember becind to yourself, becin't to your brain,
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  Speaker 2: don't take it from anyone, and especially don't take shit
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  Speaker 2: from yourself.
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  Speaker 3: Duggan since.
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  Speaker 2: Since hello, and welcome to today's meditation. This is a
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  Speaker 2: place where you have come for a short amount of
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  Speaker 2: time to dedicate just a few moments to your body,
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  Speaker 2: your mind, and yourself. And this action alone already says
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  Speaker 2: a lot about what you feel about yourself and also
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  Speaker 2: how you care about yourself. It also says what you
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  Speaker 2: want for yourself, even though it might not feel like it,
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  Speaker 2: So thank you.
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  Speaker 3: For being here.
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  Speaker 2: Let's start by taking a deep breath inhaling through the nose,
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  Speaker 2: expanding out through the ribs, and then exhaling through your
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  Speaker 2: mouth or nose. Now finding a comfortable position sitting upright
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  Speaker 2: or lying down, but a position where you can completely
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  Speaker 2: relax your body, not crossing your arms or legs. And
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  Speaker 2: to begin with, for the next few minutes, I want
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  Speaker 2: you to, in your own time, scan through the body
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: and relaxing anywhere where you might be holding intension, starting
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: from the top of the head and moving all the
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: way down to your feet, and just being mindful of
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  Speaker 2: keeping your breath consistent and slow, and being patient as
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  Speaker 2: you move down. Dedicating just the next few minutes to
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  Speaker 2: that and nothing more.
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  Speaker 4: Us it's easy to get caught up in self critical
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  Speaker 4: thoughts from time to time, or for some of us,
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  Speaker 4: more often than that, but it's important to note that
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  Speaker 4: these thoughts alone.
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  Speaker 2: Do not have to determine how you feel about yourself,
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  Speaker 2: but instead you can just observe it as a statement
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  Speaker 2: from your old self, before you knew better and before
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  Speaker 2: you knew yourself better. When you take the time to
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: listen to your mind and your body, certain statements will
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  Speaker 2: pop up. Instead of fighting it or giving in to
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  Speaker 2: them and spiraling with similar thoughts, we're just going to
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  Speaker 2: observe these thoughts as if you were observing someone having
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  Speaker 2: a conversation and think that's interesting, that's an interesting statement,
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  Speaker 2: And then you can think that statement is a representation
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  Speaker 2: of my old self, creating a separation between who you
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  Speaker 2: are now and the new thoughts you want to be
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  Speaker 2: thinking and feeling, and who you used to be with
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  Speaker 2: these old thoughts that were more self critical and judgmental,
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  Speaker 2: we're creating a gap, a distance between that old self
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  Speaker 2: with the old language, and who you are today. In
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  Speaker 2: the new self, you have more patience, You understand you
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  Speaker 2: are always evolving and learning. You take the time to observe,
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  Speaker 2: to observe your feelings, to observe what you say about yourself,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: and instead of getting angry, avoiding, or judging, understanding that
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  Speaker 2: these statements were probably so strong because we gave those
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  Speaker 2: statements attention, energy and fuel, not because they are true.
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  Speaker 2: And every time you hear one of these statements, just
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  Speaker 2: observe and think that's interesting, instead of thinking, what's a
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  Speaker 2: similar thought? I can think we are just observing. And
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  Speaker 2: when you shed light on something, when you are looking
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  Speaker 2: at something and not being in that thing, you will
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  Speaker 2: find that it's easier to separate yourself. You have the
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  Speaker 2: thought you are not the thought. You are interested, but
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  Speaker 2: you are not involved in that thought. Reminding yourself of
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  Speaker 2: this every time a self critical or judgmental thought.
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  Speaker 3: Crops up us.
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  Speaker 2: And as we come to the end of this meditation,
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  Speaker 2: when you're ready, taking a big inhale, expanding through the chest,
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  Speaker 2: taking your breath throughout your entire body, and then release
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  Speaker 2: that breath with a big, long sigh, releasing any tension
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: along with it, and in your own time, opening your
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: eyes and coming back into the space. Thank you for
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: dedicating the time today, and I will see you here
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  Speaker 2: next time.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: Since