Latest / Yes And Land / Moana and Designing a Life You Love with Cierra Clayson

Transcript

Moana and Designing a Life You Love with Cierra Clayson · Yes And Land

• 0:00
  I didn't realize not only how much I loved it,
• 0:04
  but how good I was at it. Can I say that? I realized,
• 0:08
  you know, I genuinely love people and this job
• 0:11
  has provided such an outlet for me to create
• 0:13
  relationships, share my story, learn from other
• 0:15
  people, and it's been fantastic. His whole legs
• 0:19
  were turning black and it was only getting worse
• 0:20
  and they just said it's gone septic and there's
• 0:22
  nothing we can do. I remember the physician telling
• 0:25
  me it's like a freight train. going 200 miles
• 0:29
  an hour we can't stop it we're here because the
• 0:31
  ocean told you you're special and you believed
• 0:33
  it she says the ocean chose me and he says it
• 0:37
  shows wrong i am so much more capable than people
• 0:41
  know and it was almost a challenge to myself
• 0:43
  that like i can do more than what i'm doing i
• 0:46
  love that i'm strong but i'm resentful sometimes
• 0:48
  with how strong i am it would be nice to be weak
• 0:51
  sometimes i am i'm in that season of becoming
• 0:53
  i'm in that that season of loving the life that
• 0:57
  I have designed. Welcome to Yes and Land, where
• 1:01
  we say yes to the reality of yesterday and today,
• 1:05
  and we say and to the possibility, growth, and
• 1:09
  imagination of tomorrow. All right, welcome everybody
• 1:19
  to the next episode of Yes and Lam. We are very
• 1:22
  excited today. We have a total rock star here
• 1:24
  today. Sierra is joining us. She is the brand
• 1:28
  manager at Minky. That's the correct title, right?
• 1:30
  Correct. The brand manager at Minky Couture,
• 1:33
  which if you don't know what it is, you've got
• 1:35
  to crawl out from underneath the rock because
• 1:37
  it is like the, I'm going to call it the blanket,
• 1:41
  the blanket company. uh and that everybody should
• 1:45
  have everybody should have their blankets but
• 1:47
  you guys also do some more things besides just
• 1:49
  blankets you've expanded to doing lots of stuff
• 1:51
  but we're very happy and excited to have her
• 1:53
  on today we're going to dive into some interesting
• 1:55
  topics in our pre -show we talked a little about
• 1:57
  her theater background which i have a little
• 2:00
  of going to talk about that a little bit today
• 2:02
  uh we'll also talk about a wonderful movie moana
• 2:07
  one of my absolute favorites uh just re -watched
• 2:09
  it last night with my two little girls my goodness
• 2:12
  it's so great um and then we're gonna also have
• 2:15
  some other conversations and we'll see kind of
• 2:17
  where those conversations take us about uh grief
• 2:20
  about loss and about the process of becoming
• 2:22
  which is kind of what we're talking about overall
• 2:24
  today so very excited to have you on sierra Thank
• 2:27
  you. Thank you for having me. So give us a little
• 2:30
  bit of an introduction of you. Like, kind of
• 2:33
  give us kind of the lay of the land, and then
• 2:34
  we'll dive in. We'll go back a little bit more,
• 2:36
  but kind of give us the lay of the land right
• 2:37
  now. Okay. So, yeah. So I'm originally from Southern
• 2:40
  California. I went to school at BYU -Idaho intentionally.
• 2:46
  I know a lot of people are like, you came from
• 2:47
  California and you went to Idaho. And like, I
• 2:49
  know, but my siblings went there and I had the
• 2:51
  best college experience. I did minor in theater.
• 2:56
  But I majored in communications, kind of fell
• 2:59
  in love with just presenting, but also relationships.
• 3:04
  And so I graduated from there, got married. When
• 3:07
  you did graduate from there, it was actually
• 3:09
  officially called BYU -Idaho. It was officially
• 3:11
  BYU -Idaho, yes. I wasn't there during RICS,
• 3:12
  but I was there. Because I'm old, and it was
• 3:15
  RICS back when I was like. You might not want
• 3:17
  to tell too many people that, because you want
• 3:19
  to keep the appeal that you're younger than you
• 3:21
  are. What is the RICS thing? What are you talking
• 3:22
  about? Yeah, I was just right after that, actually.
• 3:25
  I like to think that I'm pretty young. I'm not.
• 3:28
  So, yeah. So, I got my degree there. I got married
• 3:31
  my last year in college. And then we moved to
• 3:36
  Utah after we graduated. And I worked for FranklinCovey.
• 3:39
  I interned with them. Did some communication
• 3:42
  work with them. Worked on their social media
• 3:44
  side. Lay the foundation for FranklinCovey. People
• 3:47
  should definitely know who it is. He should know.
• 3:49
  Amazing. So famous. A lot of people think of
• 3:52
  FranklinCovey and they think planners. Like,
• 3:53
  okay, so that's. the planner company. No, it's
• 3:56
  actually a leadership development company. My
• 3:59
  dad is still a consultant for them. So FranklinCovey
• 4:02
  teaches leaders how to be the best and how to
• 4:04
  grow individually and as a team and as a company.
• 4:08
  So they're a fantastic, any leadership organization
• 4:11
  should do work through them. So you're welcome,
• 4:14
  FranklinCovey, because we're going to cut that
• 4:15
  up into a reel and put that out there. You got
• 4:17
  that for free. Yes, yes. Free ad there. But I
• 4:21
  love it because FranklinCovey was so great because
• 4:24
  because it really laid the foundation to kind
• 4:27
  of how to grow. as an individual. And when you
• 4:31
  grow as an individual, you can be more effective
• 4:33
  in your team and in your company and in your
• 4:36
  position. So I handled the Western region side
• 4:38
  of that with events and things like that. And
• 4:40
  then I started having kids. And so I took a step
• 4:44
  back, raised three beautiful boys. And yeah,
• 4:50
  so I was in the phase of just kind of embracing
• 4:53
  that my purpose was to just be a mom and just
• 4:57
  kind of raise my kids, which I absolutely adore.
• 5:02
  But then we got divorced in 2022. And so that
• 5:06
  kind of had, I was forced to kind of come back
• 5:09
  into the corporate world, which was new and nerve
• 5:12
  wracking. And I was very, very. Nervous to see
• 5:16
  what was going to happen with that. But I found
• 5:18
  Minky Couture. Sandy Hendry offered me a job,
• 5:21
  which is its own story. And we're going to definitely
• 5:24
  dive into that in a minute. Yeah. But then once
• 5:26
  I was reintroduced to the workforce, I didn't
• 5:31
  realize not only how much I loved it, but how
• 5:35
  good I was at it. Can I say that? A hundred percent.
• 5:38
  I didn't realize. Well, we talk about the season
• 5:41
  of becoming, which we'll get more further into.
• 5:43
  I realize, you know, I genuinely love people
• 5:47
  and this job has provided such an outlet for
• 5:49
  me to create relationships, share my story, learn
• 5:52
  from other people. And it's been fantastic. So
• 5:55
  fast forward now where I'm four years with Minky
• 5:59
  in July and I have had an amazing, amazing experiences
• 6:04
  and my kids have benefited from it and it's just
• 6:07
  been life changing in the best way. What would
• 6:10
  you tell people about minky like what what what's
• 6:13
  what what's the story of minky why why is it
• 6:16
  such a great place for you to be where you really
• 6:19
  kind of come into your own there so minky couture
• 6:22
  provides a opportunity for so we're mainly women
• 6:27
  who work there right so over 350 employees predominantly
• 6:30
  women um and it sandy has has created an atmosphere
• 6:34
  of personal growth where wherever she feels like
• 6:39
  your talents are, she'll put you in that position
• 6:41
  and she'll watch you grow and help you grow,
• 6:43
  which is fantastic. But more than that, the purpose
• 6:46
  of Minky is to give back. Her mission is to blanket
• 6:49
  the world in comfort. And the origin of Minky
• 6:51
  is unique in the sense that her daughter was
• 6:53
  just ill and she wanted to give her some comfort
• 6:56
  and that blanket was created to do that. And
• 6:59
  she was so overwhelmed by... how comfortable
• 7:03
  it was that the next day when she visited her
• 7:05
  daughter the hospital it was in someone else's
• 7:06
  room because they wanted comfort and so on and
• 7:09
  so on and so she created 50 out of the goodness
• 7:11
  of her heart and and then realized you know this
• 7:14
  is actually a business this isn't just you know
• 7:17
  providing something for my daughter this is actually
• 7:19
  i could really provide a need. And that is why
• 7:24
  I love Minky so much, is its purpose is to genuinely
• 7:27
  give back. And I don't think anyone who's listening
• 7:29
  to this who knows Minky doesn't know that. Whether
• 7:33
  it's Sandy Hendry personally or just the name
• 7:35
  Minky Couture, last year we donated $5 .5 million
• 7:38
  worth of blankets just to people in need. So
• 7:40
  whether that was hospitals, communities, natural
• 7:43
  disasters, I mean, we are always, as soon as
• 7:45
  we hear about it, we're first on the scene to
• 7:47
  help. And that's thanks to Sandy Hendry. So being
• 7:50
  able to be a part of that and being able to gift
• 7:53
  people blankets who have never had a minky or
• 7:56
  going through a hard time or celebrating something
• 7:57
  exciting, it really does something to me personally
• 8:01
  where I just feel so empowered that way. And
• 8:04
  Sandy's provided that and it's amazing. Well,
• 8:07
  I think one of the things that's great about
• 8:09
  a company and organization like yours is that
• 8:12
  when, as a consumer, which I am, when I'm buying
• 8:16
  a blanket, I also know that that purpose exists
• 8:19
  there, right? Right. um i don't remember if we've
• 8:22
  talked before or not but you know simon sinek
• 8:24
  talks a lot about the why and he says that people
• 8:26
  don't buy what you do they buy why you do it
• 8:28
  right and so for this last christmas i mentioned
• 8:30
  this to you actually you were the one that connected
• 8:32
  me with it and made it happen but um that's what
• 8:35
  we got our employees for their christmas gift
• 8:37
  because of the story and so at our christmas
• 8:40
  party we gave out the blankets but also read
• 8:43
  the little write -up that you guys have about
• 8:44
  why sandy started it what it's all about because
• 8:48
  We connect with that. And so when you when you
• 8:49
  purchase from an organization like yours, you
• 8:51
  feel kind of part of that goodness. Right. That's
• 8:54
  taking place. Right. Why it's really special.
• 8:56
  Well, another thing a lot of people don't know,
• 8:58
  too, is every blanket purchased, we actually
• 9:00
  donate a mini to a NICU. So so, you know, I think
• 9:03
  a lot of people would they're actually paying
• 9:05
  it forward when they purchase from NICU, which,
• 9:07
  again, sets us apart from everyone else. Yeah.
• 9:09
  So amazing. Yeah. So, OK, so let's let's take
• 9:12
  it like all the way back. to Thierry in high
• 9:16
  school. Oh. Okay, so you were in the drama club.
• 9:19
  I was. I was torn between being a cheerleader
• 9:22
  and being a drama nerd. And I'm saying nerd because
• 9:26
  I was a nerd. Sure. And I chose drama. I loved
• 9:29
  it. I mean, I fully embraced being in the drama
• 9:32
  club when I was in high school. So what drew
• 9:35
  you to that? What was it about performing, about
• 9:38
  drama that you enjoyed? I honestly, I loved,
• 9:44
  taking on the role of someone else. I loved being
• 9:47
  able to, I don't want to say put on a mask, but
• 9:50
  being able to kind of step into someone's shoes.
• 9:53
  That wasn't me and and portray it in a very fun
• 9:57
  way. I loved that. I love comedy, but I also
• 10:00
  love drama. So I did both. I did some showcases
• 10:04
  with my brother when he was in high school. I
• 10:07
  was in middle school and he brought me on to
• 10:09
  his showcases in high school and we took first
• 10:12
  place. I mean, we took we had we took ribbons
• 10:14
  because he he did theater and I admired him so
• 10:18
  much in that aspect. And so but I love just kind
• 10:21
  of. Maybe it was an escape, but I was also really
• 10:25
  good at it. I loved just embracing new identities.
• 10:30
  And it was fun. Yeah. For me, I loved the aspect
• 10:35
  of... bonding with your castmates oh for sure
• 10:38
  you know when you're in a production together
• 10:40
  and you practice and you rehearse and you mess
• 10:42
  up and you have to work through things and then
• 10:45
  you're doing that together you're putting on
• 10:47
  something special to connect with the audience
• 10:49
  together it's a really really amazing bonding
• 10:52
  experience that you have with your castmates
• 10:54
  um and then for me too there is just nothing
• 10:57
  like getting a roaring laughter from an audience
• 11:01
  love it it is just like it's a shot of adrenaline
• 11:04
  the best the best when they all start laughing
• 11:06
  and then you do the same show multiple nights
• 11:08
  and you still are getting laughs they're like
• 11:10
  this i'm on point tonight i mean you probably
• 11:12
  fill your head up with a lot of things that aren't
• 11:13
  real but the fact is yeah i love bringing joy
• 11:16
  to people and i i yeah that was always a great
• 11:19
  Were you, especially in comedies, did you end
• 11:22
  up ad -libbing very much? Oh, 100%. I was known
• 11:25
  for it. I mean, I remember I played a specific
• 11:29
  role where I was a sophomore and I got the lead
• 11:32
  and the seniors hated me. They were like, oh
• 11:34
  my gosh. And I was like, I don't know. And so
• 11:36
  anyway, I played the mean girl in school. And
• 11:41
  I remember Vanessa Harrington was her name. And
• 11:44
  she, everyone hated her in the play, right? And
• 11:47
  I always felt, I apologized after every take,
• 11:50
  like to my castmates. I was like, oh my gosh,
• 11:53
  I didn't mean it that way. But I was so mean.
• 11:55
  And I remember I worked at Juice It Up and this
• 11:56
  guy came in and he goes. wait a minute, you're
• 11:59
  the mean girl from that play. You're the mean
• 12:00
  girl, right? And I was like, yeah, that was me.
• 12:03
  But you're having a great day and here's your
• 12:05
  smoothie. But I remember people actually remembering
• 12:09
  me and I thought that was actually kind of cool.
• 12:10
  So there's a lot of cool things that happen too.
• 12:13
  I had some maturing to do in my abilities because
• 12:17
  the very first one I was in, it was in a one
• 12:18
  -act play. and i thought i played it okay it
• 12:21
  was a comedy uh but then afterwards when some
• 12:24
  people got to know me they're like oh you just
• 12:25
  played you and i was like well it's true like
• 12:28
  i was okay so i'm typecasting the character was
• 12:30
  me like i'm sorry that's true i didn't have to
• 12:32
  do a whole lot of acting yeah i just was kind
• 12:33
  of like myself and it was fine i love that but
• 12:36
  i had to evolve after that right you gotta you
• 12:37
  gotta learn how to step into somebody else's
• 12:39
  shoes and see something different and kind of
• 12:41
  have fun with it yeah So you then decide to be
• 12:45
  a communications major and a theater minor. So
• 12:47
  tell me about the decision to be a communications
• 12:49
  major. So I actually was going to be a theater
• 12:51
  major when I first got there. And I started taking
• 12:53
  communication classes as my minor. My first communication
• 12:57
  class, I called my dad and I was like, I'm switching
• 13:00
  my major. This is everything I love. This was
• 13:03
  public relations, marketing, and everything I'm
• 13:07
  kind of doing now. But I had no idea how much
• 13:10
  I was going to fall in love with it. And I do
• 13:12
  think that FranklinCovey, just growing up with
• 13:14
  it, my dad, you know, growing up, our family
• 13:17
  home meetings consisted of the seven habits of
• 13:18
  highly effective people. And I was the only person
• 13:22
  in my elementary school with a day planner. But
• 13:24
  I do think that that kind of stuff kind of helped
• 13:26
  set me up for success to actually enjoy that
• 13:29
  major. And so I flopped pretty quick. And I just
• 13:33
  fell in love with all of it. I co -founded the
• 13:37
  Presentation Center at BYU -Idaho, which still
• 13:40
  exists today. Wow. Students have to come and
• 13:44
  present their presentations. And I will help
• 13:48
  critique and kind of help them set them up for
• 13:50
  success for when they go to their class to actually
• 13:52
  do the actual presentation. And so a lot of the
• 13:55
  teachers started making it mandatory for them
• 13:57
  to come through. And I loved it because I love
• 14:00
  presenting. And I always tell people, you've
• 14:03
  got to be excited. You've got to really embrace
• 14:06
  what you're talking about and be passionate about
• 14:08
  it because your audience is only as excited as
• 14:10
  you are. And that translates into my job. job
• 14:13
  today. Right. And so, yeah, I just, there's so
• 14:15
  many aspects of it that I loved. Yeah. So you,
• 14:19
  as you mentioned, you, in your last year, you
• 14:21
  get married, you do a little bit of work at Franklin
• 14:25
  Covey, then you decide to kind of focus on the
• 14:27
  family. So if, if it's okay, I mean, I don't
• 14:31
  want to like put a damper on, on our conversation,
• 14:33
  but I want to take through people through like
• 14:34
  some hard things you've had experience in your
• 14:36
  life. Cause you did have to experience some,
• 14:38
  like, I mean, honestly. things that somebody
• 14:41
  should never have to experience like things that
• 14:43
  are so hard that it's I Can't even personally
• 14:46
  imagine how hard some of those things are. Yeah
• 14:49
  Yeah, so so why I'd gotten married and we had
• 14:52
  our first son miles and he was perfect and like
• 14:56
  any other anxious lds woman i wanted to have
• 14:59
  six kids you know but then you have one and you
• 15:02
  that count goes down to four um but but miles
• 15:04
  was great and and so then we got pregnant with
• 15:06
  our second and uh he was perfect as well and
• 15:10
  his name was jack and uh everything was great
• 15:14
  uh except the first night after he was born full
• 15:18
  term and everything the first day um i woke up
• 15:20
  in the morning and they were like oh you know
• 15:22
  he didn't really eat his milk very well um we
• 15:24
  switched him to sensitive formula and i was like
• 15:26
  oh okay and Didn't think anything of it. Michael,
• 15:28
  he's just spitting up his milk. He's a newborn
• 15:30
  trying to learn how to eat, you know. Anyway,
• 15:33
  we found out that his intestines weren't connected
• 15:35
  properly. And so they had to life flight him
• 15:37
  to primary children's. That was devastating in
• 15:41
  itself, right? So you're going from the highest
• 15:43
  of high to the lowest of lows in the sense that,
• 15:46
  oh, my gosh, he has to have surgery. He's brand
• 15:49
  new and he has to have surgery. So we're kind
• 15:51
  of just like emotionally going through that.
• 15:53
  They do emergency surgery the next morning. And
• 15:58
  so that was day two. And they do it, and it's
• 16:02
  great. They're like, we do this all the time.
• 16:03
  The surgery is pretty routine. Again, best hospital
• 16:07
  west of the Mississippi, so I'm thinking I'm
• 16:09
  in good hands. Where was it at? Which hospital?
• 16:11
  Primary Children's up in Salt Lake. And so we
• 16:15
  were prepared to stay there for four weeks. That's
• 16:17
  what they told us. And we prepared for that.
• 16:20
  And the next day, so day three comes around and
• 16:23
  they said, we're going to take him off oxygen.
• 16:24
  He's doing awesome. We're just going to see what
• 16:26
  happens. Okay, great. And we get there and we
• 16:32
  go to lunch. And my husband at the time, we both
• 16:36
  had like 17 missed calls from the hospital. And
• 16:39
  we sat there and pretended to eat and then we
• 16:42
  looked down at our phones and we realized, oh
• 16:44
  my gosh, something's wrong. Well, his toes started
• 16:46
  to turn black. And so during that surgery, he
• 16:49
  developed an infection. So they went back and
• 16:52
  the next several days were surgery after surgery
• 16:54
  trying to figure out if they could find the hole
• 16:56
  that was poked or something and they couldn't
• 16:58
  find it. So it got to the point that day six,
• 17:02
  his whole... legs were turning black and it was
• 17:06
  only getting worse and they just said it's gone
• 17:07
  septic and there's nothing we can do so I remember
• 17:12
  the physician telling me it's like a freight
• 17:15
  train going 200 miles an hour we can't stop it
• 17:18
  and at that moment I realized this was real like
• 17:23
  I truly I was this I was so naive I was so hopeful
• 17:26
  I'm a glass half full person I just I really
• 17:28
  did think that we were going to figure this out
• 17:30
  and as soon as she had said that to me that hit
• 17:35
  me pretty hard. And so I looked at my husband
• 17:37
  and I, we both kind of, we didn't even say anything.
• 17:40
  We just said, how long is it going to take to
• 17:41
  disconnect everything? Because we wanted to say
• 17:43
  goodbye. We didn't want to send him to another
• 17:45
  surgery and attempt some miracle that we both
• 17:48
  knew wasn't going to happen. And so we disconnected
• 17:51
  everything and he passed away in my arms and
• 17:54
  he was perfect. And I remember actually, I've
• 17:58
  never said this, it's weird, but I remember holding
• 17:59
  him and his whole, like I said, his whole body
• 18:01
  was turning. black and but his hand that i was
• 18:04
  holding at the time was perfectly pink and perfect
• 18:07
  and i just remember kissing his hand and just
• 18:09
  um telling him i'd be there soon with him and
• 18:13
  then he was gone so yeah it was it was hard um
• 18:20
  it was 11 years in may so and you'd think i'd
• 18:23
  be over it at this point but i i i don't think
• 18:26
  i grieved it as much as i should have sure so
• 18:29
  i still have moments of that are really hard
• 18:32
  but yeah when i as i've listened to different
• 18:36
  people talk about you know very difficult things
• 18:38
  especially like losing a child which is that
• 18:41
  you don't ever get over it no it's always just
• 18:44
  a part of you yeah and is that is that what you
• 18:48
  feel is it kind of it's part of you it's there's
• 18:50
  a hole in your heart and it's never going to
• 18:51
  be filled so so i remember right after We lost
• 18:55
  him. I was like, well, I'm getting pregnant again.
• 18:57
  I'm bringing him back. I'm not going to go a
• 18:59
  day with this is ridiculous. And so I got pregnant
• 19:02
  again, and I miscarried. And then I got pregnant
• 19:04
  again, and I miscarried. And I remember every
• 19:07
  time I got pregnant, my sister was like, why
• 19:08
  are you excited right now? Like, aren't you nervous?
• 19:10
  And I was like, no. I know that I'm not going
• 19:13
  to have anything wrong this time because the
• 19:15
  Lord's not that cruel. And you convince yourself
• 19:17
  that, you know. So anyway, I miscarried twice
• 19:21
  after Jack. And then I got pregnant naturally
• 19:24
  with Cohen because I had to go on fertility to
• 19:26
  get pregnant. And so I got pregnant with Cohen
• 19:29
  naturally and we named him Cohen Jack. And the
• 19:32
  miracle of Cohen is that he looked exactly like
• 19:34
  Jack when he was born. It was a blessing and
• 19:37
  it was crazy. And Cohen is still Cohen, but there
• 19:39
  was a lot of Jack in him, which was amazing.
• 19:44
  But yeah, and then we had Maverick after that.
• 19:46
  And you think that all these other kids would
• 19:48
  fill that hole, right? Like, well, they're amazing.
• 19:50
  They're perfect, wonderful children, wonderful
• 19:52
  boys. But no, there's always a hole there for
• 19:55
  sure. How do you feel like that experience kind
• 19:59
  of changed you and played into who you are today?
• 20:04
  So I like to think I was. a decent person before
• 20:07
  Jack. I mean, I look back and I'm like, I served
• 20:09
  people. I was kind. I think I was pretty good.
• 20:13
  But, you know, hindsight's always 20 -20. And
• 20:15
  you look back and I am so much more empathetic.
• 20:21
  I love listening to other people's stories. I
• 20:24
  love learning from them. I've learned that people...
• 20:27
  actually enjoy hearing my hardships because they
• 20:30
  either can relate to it or it makes them feel
• 20:33
  like they're less alone. And so I've been able
• 20:36
  to kind of connect with people on a more personal
• 20:39
  empathetic level that I don't think I was capable
• 20:41
  of before. Maybe I was more surface before and
• 20:44
  I didn't realize it, but I've become more intentional
• 20:47
  with my relationships and how I navigate life.
• 20:50
  And I do attribute a lot to who I am because
• 20:52
  of Jack, for sure. In those situations, especially
• 20:55
  part of Part of grieving is that you're also
• 20:58
  with someone else who is also grieving. What
• 21:04
  was that like for both of you and your husband
• 21:08
  at that time to be going through that grieving
• 21:10
  process? You know, I look back, and I've said
• 21:15
  this before, but I truly don't think we grieved
• 21:17
  Jack the way we should have. So we had Miles
• 21:20
  at the time, and Miles slept in our bed for a
• 21:23
  year. uh right between us and and intentionally
• 21:26
  because we were clinging on to whatever we had
• 21:29
  in front of us we'd visit the cemetery i i think
• 21:33
  i was i went every day for two months and i finally
• 21:35
  said this is probably not the best for my son
• 21:37
  to go to a cemetery every day so we spaced it
• 21:39
  out a bit and now we just go once a month but
• 21:42
  um i I don't think we actually grieved him the
• 21:46
  way we should have. It didn't pull us further
• 21:48
  away from each other by any means. We got a lot
• 21:51
  closer to the Lord as a unit. But we didn't really
• 21:55
  talk about him very much. We kind of just put
• 21:58
  the focus on Miles. And then if I was getting
• 22:00
  pregnant at the time, we wanted to bring Jack
• 22:02
  back and just get pregnant with a new baby. And
• 22:05
  so we didn't really grieve him. And so I think
• 22:08
  that was a... I think that was a small factor
• 22:13
  to why it didn't work out with us, why we got
• 22:14
  divorced later on. I think I convinced myself
• 22:16
  we needed to stay together for Jack. And then
• 22:18
  I realized that Jack was always going to be a
• 22:20
  part of us. But because of that, I think we neglected
• 22:23
  our relationship. Did you feel like at some point
• 22:28
  in time you went through that grieving process
• 22:30
  like you needed to? I think I'm still going through
• 22:32
  it. So I think, yeah, I think I'm still. This
• 22:39
  sounds terrible, but I do feel like I haven't
• 22:41
  met a partner that, or at least, you know, that
• 22:46
  I've needed to kind of help me have a safe space
• 22:50
  to grieve. I've done a lot of therapy and things
• 22:53
  like that, but there's something about talking
• 22:56
  to someone else about it that is a safe place.
• 22:59
  is different than therapy you just feel like
• 23:01
  you can say things that you don't usually say
• 23:03
  or the empathy on that side or just being able
• 23:06
  to just breathe a certain way and and i don't
• 23:09
  know if i've had that experience yet so i still
• 23:12
  i think i'm still kind of grieving sure well
• 23:15
  again i mean i think to some degree you know
• 23:17
  i think i also heard it put that when you experience
• 23:20
  a loss like this um that you're not going through
• 23:24
  the stages of grief that you traditionally hear
• 23:26
  about right people hear about the stages of grief
• 23:28
  and as i understand it it was actually uh uh
• 23:30
  on jay shetty's show when he was talking to somebody
• 23:33
  uh they talked about like the stages of grief
• 23:36
  were actually designed for someone at the end
• 23:38
  of their life they go through these stages to
• 23:39
  accept that they're they're about ready to pass
• 23:41
  on but that going through grief for the loss
• 23:45
  of a loved one or loss of a child is not like
• 23:47
  these definitive stages, right? Like it's this
• 23:49
  overall thing that you're kind of always experiencing
• 23:52
  and this hole in your heart that's always there
• 23:53
  and just learning to kind of live with it and
• 23:56
  accept where it's at and accept that pain that's
• 23:58
  there and also then finding joy in life, right?
• 24:03
  Which is part of why I just, so I was thinking
• 24:05
  about visiting with you today. It's so perfectly
• 24:08
  in line with our show of the Yes And. right yes
• 24:12
  we can accept that we have this loss yes we can
• 24:14
  accept that we'll never get over the loss of
• 24:16
  that child um and we can also still build a really
• 24:21
  happy life yeah we can still enjoy the other
• 24:23
  people in our lives your other kids for sure
• 24:26
  who you just adore and you can just tell you
• 24:27
  light up when you talk about it right yeah so
• 24:29
  so you um you and your husband at the time it
• 24:35
  ends up kind of not working out which is also
• 24:37
  hard yeah and you know i we've are still great
• 24:42
  friends. It was just one of those sad stories,
• 24:44
  you know, one of those stories where we just
• 24:48
  kind of lost each other. When it came down to
• 24:52
  it, we just couldn't make it work. And as much
• 24:54
  as we wanted to stay together for the kids, it
• 24:55
  just wasn't. I know I wasn't as happy as I could
• 24:59
  have been. And he's a wonderful dad, a wonderful
• 25:03
  human being. I mean, I couldn't ask for a better
• 25:06
  co -parent, truly. I think we're an anomaly,
• 25:08
  the way how well we get along. I don't think
• 25:11
  everyone loves that. But it's good for the kids.
• 25:15
  So it's good. How was that with your kids? had
• 25:21
  one child at a time so super young two other
• 25:24
  kids afterwards yeah you guys still kind of talk
• 25:26
  about jack yeah so so yeah i mean we at the time
• 25:30
  our kids were two five and eight when we got
• 25:33
  divorced um and they were pretty young so i mean
• 25:37
  i think the eight -year -old i was two when my
• 25:39
  parents got divorced um and i don't remember
• 25:41
  them being together and it's probably maverick's
• 25:44
  experience miles does my oldest and i don't know
• 25:48
  if cohen does too much but i think the biggest
• 25:51
  thing was watching having Miles watch Nate and
• 25:55
  I co -parent and how good that was. I'm hoping
• 25:58
  that he looks back and it was a positive experience.
• 26:01
  I know he sees us get along today, so that's
• 26:05
  good. But I like to think that the transition
• 26:08
  was as smooth as it could have been. Yeah, I
• 26:12
  mean, it's the primary factor in how kids do.
• 26:17
  from divorced households is how well the parents
• 26:19
  get along and co -parent. That is the primary
• 26:21
  factor in how well adjusted they will be. And
• 26:24
  so the fact that you all have found a way to
• 26:26
  do that is huge for those kids. And it's really
• 26:31
  hard. It's really hard sometimes for people to
• 26:33
  do that because sometimes you have to swallow
• 26:36
  a bit of pride and not have to point out all
• 26:41
  the things that somebody else does wrong, right?
• 26:43
  And it's sometimes really hard because... The
• 26:45
  other side is not perfect, right? Yeah. But neither
• 26:47
  are we. Right. So I guess here's something I
• 26:51
  was thinking about. When you're kind of going
• 26:53
  through different losses, both either when you
• 26:56
  lost Jack or when you got divorced, what was
• 26:59
  the most helpful thing that people would say?
• 27:04
  Because, you know, whenever somebody goes through
• 27:05
  something hard, it's always hard to figure out
• 27:08
  like how to be there for somebody or what things
• 27:10
  to say. What was the most helpful thing somebody
• 27:12
  said? Or that in general people would say? Honestly,
• 27:14
  I think people were always like, you're doing
• 27:16
  a better job than you give yourself credit for.
• 27:17
  I think a lot of people, we're so quick to be
• 27:21
  hard on ourselves and not give ourselves grace.
• 27:24
  But I do think that I was doing a better job
• 27:28
  than I was giving myself credit for. But I still
• 27:31
  have mom guilt. Any mom out there that's working
• 27:33
  who has children, whether they're married or
• 27:35
  divorced, has mom guilt. It's a real thing. my
• 27:38
  kids are home by themselves right now. So, I
• 27:41
  mean, they, my oldest is watching them and, you
• 27:44
  know, I had to have conversation with him about,
• 27:46
  you know, just the phase of life we're in and
• 27:48
  it is what it is. But I think that my kids are
• 27:52
  happy, you know, and I think that was the other
• 27:53
  thing they pointed out is that. Your kids are
• 27:56
  happy. They're doing great. You know, they they
• 27:58
  they want to go to mom and dad's house. Right.
• 28:01
  So it's not I want to stay here. I want to stay
• 28:03
  there. It's they love they were looking forward
• 28:04
  to going to both households, which, again, like
• 28:06
  you said earlier, is it's it's unique. It's an
• 28:09
  anomaly. We have both parents saying such positive
• 28:12
  things about each other, which is which is really
• 28:15
  great. So I do think I was, you know, doing probably
• 28:18
  a better job. And that encouragement is so helpful
• 28:21
  when you're going through the hard time because.
• 28:23
  I didn't think I was doing a great job. But for
• 28:25
  someone else on the outside to point out, like,
• 28:27
  actually, you look like you're doing a great
• 28:28
  job. And that was very validating. For sure.
• 28:32
  On the other hand, what were some of the most
• 28:36
  hurtful things people would say, even if they
• 28:38
  weren't now intended? Well, it's, and, you know,
• 28:43
  this is Utah for you, but I'll just call a spade
• 28:45
  a spade. We're very quick to judge other people.
• 28:49
  Very quick to create narratives that we have
• 28:52
  no idea are true or not. I think I've, I don't
• 28:58
  know if this is in your notes, but we'll just
• 28:59
  address the elephant in the room. I recently
• 29:01
  just got divorced again. So that was, I was married
• 29:03
  for a year and a half, but I'm in the same ward
• 29:05
  and been divorced twice in that same ward. And
• 29:09
  there's a lot of, I lost friends, lost family
• 29:14
  for little bits of time. Everything's good now,
• 29:19
  but going through that, I mean, you find out
• 29:21
  who's there for you, who's not there for you.
• 29:23
  And there was a lot of narratives that were created
• 29:26
  that weren't true. But I showed up every Sunday,
• 29:29
  and I never, ever wavered from that. My testimony
• 29:33
  is too strong in the church. I just know that
• 29:36
  I've got my kids looking at me and Jack is my
• 29:39
  compass. I refuse to negotiate or give up anything
• 29:42
  that would sacrifice me getting back to him.
• 29:44
  People don't know my whole story. They don't
• 29:46
  know what went on behind closed doors in both
• 29:48
  my marriages, right? And so I've learned to just
• 29:52
  kind of develop a thick skin and I know what's
• 29:55
  true and I know I'm doing my best and I know
• 29:58
  where I'm going and that's all that matters.
• 30:01
  I think from my experience, both being divorced,
• 30:05
  uh i got divorced uh i think 14 years ago now
• 30:08
  13 years ago but also being a divorce attorney
• 30:12
  in utah uh with our culture it which is you know
• 30:17
  uh very much so it's maybe less now but very
• 30:20
  much historically it was a scarlet letter to
• 30:23
  be divorced 100 you know it didn't matter the
• 30:25
  reason it still was and it was one of the hardest
• 30:29
  things for me getting divorced um Which was that?
• 30:34
  Knowing what that was going to look like, both
• 30:37
  for me in my social circles, for me in the congregation
• 30:41
  that I was in, for people around me. And I probably
• 30:46
  waited a lot longer because of that. Just knowing
• 30:49
  what that was going to look like, having seen
• 30:52
  it. It was tough. It was hard. And it's definitely
• 30:57
  a real thing that people judge and they shouldn't.
• 31:00
  Mm -hmm, and they do yeah, and they do anyways
• 31:02
  they do But developing that thick skin is is
• 31:06
  like you said it's it's it's really important
• 31:07
  because you have to just be able to move forward
• 31:10
  and be Confident in yourself and who you are
• 31:12
  knowing the truth and knowing what's really out
• 31:14
  there and but also knowing that like we all make
• 31:16
  mistakes Well, my first marriage was I the perfect
• 31:19
  husband? No. No, I was not I've learned from
• 31:22
  it though Like I'm still learning every day on
• 31:25
  how to be better but it's all just a process
• 31:27
  and the more The more grace that we can give
• 31:32
  each other when someone's going through a hard
• 31:34
  season, I think the better. I love that what
• 31:36
  you said about people encouraging you that you
• 31:39
  were doing better than you thought and validating
• 31:41
  the efforts you were making. I think that's really,
• 31:43
  really important. That validation is really important
• 31:45
  when someone's going through a hard season. Yeah.
• 31:48
  So, okay. So when we talk about this process
• 31:51
  of becoming. Let's wrap in Moana. Okay. So, I
• 31:55
  mean, everybody's seen Moana, right? But just
• 31:57
  in case somebody hasn't seen Moana, give us like
• 32:00
  the lay of the land. Give us the overall 30 ,000
• 32:02
  foot view of the movie Moana. Yeah. So, I mean,
• 32:06
  she's drawn to, she knows she's destined to do
• 32:09
  more than what she's doing. So she knows that
• 32:11
  she needs to lean into that, but she's got a
• 32:15
  lot of, not a lot of support at all. And so she's
• 32:18
  realizing she's going to, if she's going to do
• 32:20
  this, she's going to have to go out on her own.
• 32:22
  Um, she does have her grandma that is her support
• 32:24
  initially to get her out there, but, um, which
• 32:27
  is always nice to have someone in your corner.
• 32:28
  Right. But, but the reality is that she is on
• 32:31
  her own and she's, she's embarking on journeys
• 32:33
  that she's not only not prepared to handle or,
• 32:37
  but she doesn't know what is out there. So she's,
• 32:39
  she's about to go out and, and, and conquer things
• 32:42
  that she didn't even know she was capable of
• 32:44
  or. or any of that. So it's a lot of unknown.
• 32:48
  It's a lot of pushing through and going through
• 32:51
  things that are not just hard, but scary. And
• 32:55
  then realizing that she was not only capable,
• 32:59
  but she was extremely successful in her mission
• 33:02
  to go out into the ocean and do all these things
• 33:04
  and inevitably save the island, right? So everyone
• 33:08
  was happier after she did what she needed to
• 33:11
  do. um definitely face doubters so many doubters
• 33:15
  her dad right yeah what was interesting when
• 33:17
  i was watching it back i don't get your take
• 33:19
  on this is i mean obviously her dad was the biggest
• 33:21
  doubt like no one goes beyond the reef right
• 33:24
  like that's what he's saying like what makes
• 33:26
  you the exception yeah yeah i thought it was
• 33:28
  interesting on how um when she just got and kind
• 33:32
  of he got after her for wanting to go beyond
• 33:34
  the reef when there was no fish. And then her
• 33:36
  mom comes to her and kind of explains why he
• 33:37
  feels that way. And that was really interesting
• 33:39
  because, you know, it is really easy to judge.
• 33:42
  And it's certainly easy to judge him. Like, bro,
• 33:44
  your island's dying. There's no fish. The coconut,
• 33:47
  they're all rotten. Like, you got to do something
• 33:49
  else. but oh wait he had this really traumatic
• 33:52
  experience where he tried to go beyond the reef
• 33:54
  and his friend died like oh okay now with a little
• 33:59
  curiosity now we understand he's got some barriers
• 34:02
  to this because of this trauma that he's experienced
• 34:04
  in his past well and that is where most judgment
• 34:07
  comes from right it's they're projecting so i'm
• 34:09
  afraid to leave my marriage so i'm going to judge
• 34:11
  you for leaving yours and so yeah there's a lot
• 34:14
  of parallels for sure that's really insightful
• 34:16
  uh i hadn't even thought about it that way yeah
• 34:18
  i like that So then she still obviously does,
• 34:22
  but still not without her doubters, right? And
• 34:26
  even though this might be a little bit out of
• 34:30
  place of the story, I think the arc of what her
• 34:34
  experience was, it speaks to it. I want to give
• 34:36
  you a quote from the movie and get your take
• 34:37
  on it. So it's the point where they first try,
• 34:41
  her and Maui, first try to take down Te Ka. right
• 34:45
  they don't know who takai is initially but um
• 34:47
  and maui's hook is on the fritz right like one
• 34:51
  more strike and it's gonna be gonzo and then
• 34:56
  maui says to her we're here because the ocean
• 34:57
  told you you're special and you believed it uh
• 35:00
  and after a little more exchange she says the
• 35:02
  ocean chose me and he says it shows wrong and
• 35:08
  what i don't know why that one's emotional for
• 35:12
  me that was supposed to be later here i don't
• 35:13
  know why that one is but but it is um and then
• 35:16
  you know her grandma comes right and her grandma
• 35:19
  helps her to remember like who she actually was
• 35:22
  what give me your kind of take on that i'm gonna
• 35:25
  just throw it out there and let's see where you
• 35:27
  take that yeah i think um i am i was i didn't
• 35:33
  have a support system my first marriage my first
• 35:35
  divorce um i had a few people that were in my
• 35:38
  corner but i lost so many people in my life and
• 35:42
  maybe it was first season and still a lot of
• 35:45
  them it was permanent they came and they left
• 35:47
  um i had a lot of leaders that didn't support
• 35:51
  me it was it was it was really really hard um
• 35:54
  and a lot of people basically saying like you
• 35:57
  will never get better than your ex -husband like
• 36:00
  what are you thinking like you will never find
• 36:02
  someone that's this way you'll never find anyone
• 36:04
  like that but what i took from that which i shouldn't
• 36:07
  have but i did was that they're basically saying
• 36:09
  like you're not good enough to find someone better
• 36:11
  than him and again he's an amazing person amazing
• 36:15
  man um and i was very blessed to have children
• 36:18
  with him but there was something that sparked
• 36:21
  inside of me and it was just kind of this i am
• 36:24
  so much more capable than people know and it
• 36:28
  was almost a challenge to myself that like i
• 36:30
  can do more than what i'm doing and so when i
• 36:34
  Sat down with Sandy Hendry, the owner of Minky
• 36:36
  Couture, and realized that I needed a job and
• 36:39
  kind of pitched myself to her in a very vulnerable
• 36:42
  moment, but very, you know, real in the sense
• 36:46
  that I needed a job. But I kind of rolled the
• 36:49
  dice on myself in that moment. And I was like,
• 36:51
  look, you can do this. I committed to things
• 36:53
  I had no idea what I was doing. But I just said,
• 36:55
  you know what, I'm going to be able to try and
• 36:57
  do my best. And so. I think that there was a
• 37:01
  lot of scary things that I had to just leap towards,
• 37:04
  but I was so bound and determined to prove to
• 37:06
  myself that I was capable and I could accomplish
• 37:10
  the things that I needed to. And so, yeah, a
• 37:12
  lot of naysayers, a lot of people, you know,
• 37:15
  I think they're realizing now like, oh, okay,
• 37:18
  I get what she's saying. You know, I've come
• 37:20
  a long way in four years, definitely accomplished
• 37:23
  a lot. And I think there's a lot of people that
• 37:25
  are realizing that. maybe this was for the best
• 37:29
  you know yeah so before we jump back in can i
• 37:34
  ask you a quick favor if you're enjoying the
• 37:36
  journey so far will you like rate and subscribe
• 37:40
  to our show it helps us reach more people like
• 37:43
  you we can design and create and build the most
• 37:46
  wonderful place in the world but it takes people
• 37:49
  to make the dream a reality okay so i want to
• 37:53
  i want to dial into this experience you had with
• 37:55
  sandy yeah Like, walk me through kind of what
• 37:59
  your emotions are in that time, knowing what
• 38:02
  you need to do, and then walk me through some
• 38:04
  more of the deal. Because it was a neighbor,
• 38:05
  right? Yeah. It was like a neighbor and Sandy's
• 38:06
  daughter. Yes. So walk me through kind of like,
• 38:08
  how do you get yourself to do that? Okay. So
• 38:10
  first of all, maybe my theater background helped
• 38:13
  in my guts or something. Because I just, in theater,
• 38:15
  you have to be, with improvisation and stuff,
• 38:18
  you kind of have to just roll with it and kind
• 38:19
  of make things up as you go. But I'm friends
• 38:22
  with Jacqueline, her daughter, and she lives
• 38:24
  across the street from me, and our birthday is
• 38:25
  the same day. And so she said, hey, like, and
• 38:28
  I've told this story so many times, but honestly,
• 38:30
  it was such a pivotal point in my life. She said,
• 38:35
  my mom's going to take me to dinner. I want you
• 38:38
  to come with me. And I'm thinking, the owner
• 38:40
  of Minky? Okay. And so I'm like, all right, fine.
• 38:43
  So we go to the Foundry Grill up in Sundance,
• 38:45
  and I just remember being, like, in awe when
• 38:48
  I first met her. She's gorgeous. So bougie and
• 38:51
  put together. And I'm just like, and for reference,
• 38:54
  my birthday is June 6th. My husband had left
• 38:57
  the house June 1st. So I'm still very much in
• 39:00
  this. I'm probably running on adrenaline, but
• 39:02
  also fear and anxiety because I'm thinking what
• 39:06
  I don't. I didn't say I wanted to divorce and
• 39:08
  have this plan laid out for me. Right. I didn't
• 39:10
  say I'm going to go here to work. I'm going to
• 39:12
  have this financially available. And no, nothing
• 39:15
  was there. So I'm getting ready for the night.
• 39:19
  And we go up there, and I'm a little bit nervous,
• 39:21
  but it's not really until I sit across the table
• 39:24
  from her that I realize, oh, I'm going to shoot
• 39:26
  my shot. I'm doing this. So I just start talking
• 39:29
  about my degree, my experience 10 years ago,
• 39:33
  and how I love her company. I'm in awe of her
• 39:38
  philanthropic arm and how I can market for her.
• 39:44
  I just remember thinking, I'm looking at the
• 39:46
  table and I'm sure Jacqueline was just mortified.
• 39:48
  We had a couple other friends at the table and
• 39:50
  I'm just thinking they're probably like, good
• 39:52
  gosh, this was supposed to be just like a fun
• 39:54
  dinner and here you are pitching yourself. And
• 39:57
  she looks at me and she goes, you know, we actually
• 40:00
  need someone in Utah County. And I'm like. what
• 40:03
  are the odds? Like, seriously? And she goes,
• 40:06
  yeah, she's like, get a resume together and we'll
• 40:08
  get you interviewed with our COO. And I was like,
• 40:10
  yeah, totally. I'll totally get my resume together.
• 40:12
  And so I like call my brother trying to figure
• 40:15
  out how to get this resume to look good. Anyway,
• 40:18
  so then I interviewed and July 5th was my in
• 40:22
  2022 was my first day at Minky Couture and started
• 40:26
  out just very much in the marketing realm. But
• 40:29
  the marketing department didn't exist with Minky
• 40:30
  at that time. Even four years ago, it was just
• 40:32
  Sandy and our COO. And so. We now have a team
• 40:38
  of seven, and we are growing extremely rapidly.
• 40:41
  We're on the brink of exploding. We're hitting
• 40:44
  places and demographics we haven't hit before,
• 40:46
  and it's been amazing. And not because of my
• 40:50
  doing, but I do feel like I've contributed, which
• 40:52
  makes me feel really cool, too, because, I mean,
• 40:55
  holy cow, the fact that I was capable of moving
• 40:57
  the needle even a little bit with such an amazing
• 40:59
  company is insane. So you shoot your shot. I
• 41:04
  shoot my shot. You end up getting hired. I get
• 41:06
  hired. But even then, where do you dig down to
• 41:11
  to find the ability to be successful in that
• 41:15
  position? Because it wasn't something that you
• 41:17
  had done before. Yes, you worked at Frank and
• 41:19
  Cubby. but very different than what you're doing
• 41:21
  at Minky. So, because I think a lot of people
• 41:24
  have this fear of like, okay, yeah, let's say
• 41:26
  I shoot my shot and it says, yes, well then how
• 41:28
  in the world do I figure out what to do to be
• 41:30
  successful? So where did you dig down to find
• 41:33
  that ability? So I think this is where Jack kind
• 41:36
  of plays a role in my life because I realized,
• 41:39
  okay, yeah, I don't know much about, my business
• 41:41
  acumen was here. I don't really know what's going
• 41:44
  on in the world. I'm coming from being a stay
• 41:46
  -at -home mom for 10 years. You know how you
• 41:47
  ask a lot of stay -at -home moms. Like, oh, did
• 41:49
  you hear about this? Like, wait, what? Like,
• 41:51
  I didn't know that was a thing. Like, I don't
• 41:52
  know what's going on right now. So I'm thinking,
• 41:54
  what can I offer these people? My first couple
• 41:57
  events were I wanted to actively join the Chambers
• 42:00
  of Commerce. So I initially joined 14 chambers
• 42:02
  when I first came to Minky because I was trying
• 42:04
  to figure out which one was going to work for
• 42:06
  me, which one wasn't for the company. But now
• 42:08
  you're putting me in a room full of people, don't
• 42:10
  know any of these people, and I'm supposed to
• 42:12
  just start talking about Minky, a company I just
• 42:14
  joined? So I bring up Jack because... I thought,
• 42:19
  well, what's a better way to get to know someone
• 42:22
  than to get to know them on a personal level
• 42:24
  first? So relationships first, then business
• 42:27
  second. And I kind of just adopted that mentality.
• 42:30
  It was wonderful. I was able to be real with
• 42:32
  people. How long have you been with Minky? I
• 42:34
  just started. Oh, really? That's so cool. Where
• 42:36
  were you before? Raising children. Like, you
• 42:38
  know, and just kind of having those organic conversations.
• 42:41
  But it was so great because people leaned into
• 42:42
  it. Really? I just joined this company too. I've
• 42:44
  only been here six months. Or, oh my gosh, I
• 42:46
  just, my brother just got divorced. Are you okay?
• 42:49
  How's it going? And so then all of a sudden this
• 42:51
  business started to come after. And then the
• 42:53
  trust started to build. See, when you have organic,
• 42:57
  genuine connections with people, the trust level
• 42:59
  goes up. And so when trust goes up, then it's
• 43:02
  like, OK, I really can do business with this
• 43:04
  person. This is actually going to work out well
• 43:06
  for me. So I kind of just have adopted that.
• 43:08
  And it's been amazing. And I will say I've done
• 43:11
  a lot of homework on my end and listened to a
• 43:13
  lot of podcasts. I've read books. I've dived
• 43:16
  so deep into Minky that I could probably just
• 43:19
  talk about it for days because I know so much
• 43:22
  more about the company now. So it was definitely
• 43:25
  a lot of work. But I do feel like I leaned on
• 43:28
  my skills to just kind of get to know people
• 43:31
  on a personal level. I wrote down a quote, which
• 43:35
  I think fits so well with what you just said,
• 43:37
  and it's by Stephen M. R. Covey. Love him. We
• 43:39
  talked about, right? And he says, the process
• 43:42
  of building trust is an interesting one, but
• 43:44
  it begins with yourself, with what I call self
• 43:46
  -trust, and with your own credibility, your own
• 43:49
  trustworthiness. If you think about it, it's
• 43:51
  hard to establish trust with others. if you can't
• 43:53
  trust yourself so you had to find that ability
• 43:56
  in that way to trust yourself trust yourself
• 43:58
  to shoot your shot with sandy trust yourself
• 44:00
  to go join 14 different chambers of commerce
• 44:03
  trust yourself to put yourself out there when
• 44:06
  you didn't have the experience or the knowledge
• 44:09
  of the company and yet you did anyways and then
• 44:13
  um mel robbins who we also both enjoy she said
• 44:16
  start before you're ready don't prepare begin
• 44:19
  100 what would you tell to maybe women especially,
• 44:23
  who are in the process of going through divorce,
• 44:26
  who just got divorced and are facing that financial
• 44:28
  insecurity. Like, how do I do that? Yeah. And,
• 44:32
  you know, it's hard because there are some situations
• 44:34
  that finances are just going to be not great.
• 44:37
  And you just kind of have to go through that
• 44:39
  season. But I will say, like, you are more capable
• 44:43
  than you know. I think most women, especially
• 44:47
  if you're a mom. Sandy intentionally hires moms
• 44:51
  because she says you have so many skills that
• 44:53
  a lot of men and women who don't have children
• 44:57
  don't have. You know, there's there's the multitasking,
• 45:00
  organizational skills, the being able to show
• 45:03
  up when you're not in the mood and you want to
• 45:05
  cry because you're so tired, but you're going
• 45:07
  to show up and put that smile on and not faking
• 45:10
  it, but just being in the moment. Right. And
• 45:12
  so, yeah, I'd say that there's your definitely
• 45:17
  what Mel Robbins said. show up even when you
• 45:19
  aren't prepared. I mean, just, you got to just
• 45:22
  move forward because I, you know, no one wants
• 45:26
  to fail. And I failed several times in my career
• 45:29
  and in my life, but every time you fail, you
• 45:32
  learn how to get back up. And when you learn
• 45:34
  how to get back up, you get stronger and stronger
• 45:35
  and stronger. So now my skin is so tough. I'm
• 45:39
  like, and I say that in a way of like emotionally
• 45:42
  tough. Like I have, I have been beaten down.
• 45:45
  whether it was with work or whether it was in
• 45:47
  my personal life. And I have just kept moving
• 45:51
  forward. And one thing Sandy actually has said
• 45:53
  about me, which is kind of cool, is she said,
• 45:55
  you take constructive criticism very well. She's
• 45:58
  like, you don't get your feelings. I mean, if
• 46:00
  you cry, you do it later. But like, but I, and
• 46:02
  I do because the reality is, is I want to grow
• 46:04
  and be better. So tell me what I'm doing wrong.
• 46:06
  Tell me what I can fix. And that's a hard thing
• 46:09
  to do. You know, a lot of people don't love that,
• 46:11
  but I've just, I love it because I get better.
• 46:14
  And I can show up better for my kids, for my
• 46:16
  team, for Sandy, and for myself. Because that
• 46:20
  always makes you feel good when you do something
• 46:22
  that is making an impact, right? For sure. And
• 46:26
  so, you know, your story here, obviously, that's
• 46:29
  why we're talking about Moana, has some parallels,
• 46:30
  right? To what she was able to accomplish with
• 46:33
  somebody who didn't even know how to sail, right?
• 46:37
  Like, her story is kind of wild, right? She's
• 46:39
  going to go out. She's going to go out in the
• 46:40
  sea. She's going to go try to save. save her
• 46:43
  island, save the ocean, and has no idea how to
• 46:47
  sail a boat. And she does it. She does it anyway.
• 46:50
  She gets out there. She just puts herself out
• 46:52
  there sailing. She puts herself out there going
• 46:54
  into the realm of monsters, right, with Tomotoa.
• 46:58
  And she's like, I'm just going to do this. Like,
• 47:00
  we've got to get this hook back. I'm going to
• 47:01
  make it happen. And then kind of the culmination
• 47:04
  of the story when she realizes, when she's got
• 47:08
  the heart of the ocean, and she realizes that
• 47:10
  Te Ka is actually Te Fiti. Right. And so one
• 47:14
  of the things I think is really special about
• 47:16
  that moment is she's obviously stepping into
• 47:17
  her own and becoming who she really is. But she's
• 47:20
  also helping somebody else do the same. And so
• 47:22
  for you, have you had moments where as you're
• 47:25
  going through struggles and realizing how strong
• 47:27
  you really are, that you've inspired other people?
• 47:30
  Yeah. I mean, I mean, I hope I'm right, but.
• 47:34
  Well, I'm sure you are. That's why I sound like
• 47:36
  I guarantee it. Yeah. I mean, I think that there's
• 47:40
  a level of. understanding I've been able to provide
• 47:43
  for a lot of people and a lot of validation.
• 47:46
  I think that, you know, especially in Utah, losing
• 47:50
  a child, we do have a lot of children here in
• 47:53
  Utah. So losing a child, I didn't realize how
• 47:55
  frequent that does happen with people. But then
• 47:59
  you add two divorces on top of that. I'm definitely
• 48:02
  unique here in Utah. I know that there's not
• 48:06
  other people out there that have gone through
• 48:07
  the same things, but there is a lot that I I
• 48:11
  think I'm willing to talk about that a lot of
• 48:13
  people don't talk about. And so when I do talk
• 48:15
  about it, I think there's a lot of people that
• 48:19
  are, they feel that they're not alone. And I
• 48:22
  do feel like I've provided comfort for several
• 48:24
  people, which is great. Because I think you look
• 48:27
  back and you're like, why did I have to go through
• 48:29
  that? You know, why? Like, wouldn't it be great?
• 48:31
  And I think there's a, I might shift a little
• 48:34
  bit here. I told you I'm bad about tangents,
• 48:36
  but there's... I love that I feel empowered.
• 48:39
  I love that I'm making a difference in the community
• 48:41
  and with Minky and exposing my kids to cool experiences
• 48:46
  that they wouldn't have unless I was working.
• 48:49
  But then there's a small part of me that's resentful.
• 48:52
  Sure. That it would be nice to have a husband
• 48:57
  and it would be nice to be taken care of and
• 49:00
  have the option of working but not the obligation
• 49:03
  of working. i don't know if i want to have that
• 49:06
  in her where she wanted that she seems a little
• 49:09
  too i am woman hear me roar but i and i relate
• 49:11
  to her on that on that level to a point um but
• 49:15
  there's a lot of there's a lot of nights that
• 49:18
  i cry there's a lot of i mean even still i mean
• 49:21
  it's it's hard still you know and so i i i love
• 49:25
  that i'm strong but i'm resentful sometimes with
• 49:28
  how strong i am and i it would be nice to be
• 49:30
  weak sometimes and not have to um Be the head
• 49:36
  of the household all the time, you know one,
• 49:39
  you know, I think Like many things we we can
• 49:42
  coexist with different emotions simultaneously.
• 49:46
  Absolutely and You know, it's it's perfectly
• 49:50
  appropriate for you to feel that way, you know,
• 49:53
  like it just we We have to feel those emotions
• 50:00
  we shouldn't you know, push them down we gotta
• 50:02
  accept it like okay. Yeah, I I can feel a little
• 50:04
  resentful about that. It'd be really nice if
• 50:06
  this is the case. Yeah. And I'm going to step
• 50:09
  into my power. And I'm going to take care of
• 50:12
  these kids and make the best life for them possible.
• 50:15
  And I'm going to choose to co -parent with their
• 50:19
  dad the best way that I know how because I want
• 50:22
  to create a great life for them. And, you know,
• 50:25
  I think the process of becoming is never over.
• 50:29
  Right. And I think that's part of it, right?
• 50:31
  Like you're going to have these different emotions
• 50:33
  pulling us in different ways. Like this thing
• 50:35
  would be nice or this thing would be nice. And
• 50:37
  maybe one day certain things will be different
• 50:41
  and we simply accept where we're at and move
• 50:43
  forward, right? Do you know the movie Meet the
• 50:47
  Robinsons? Yeah. So the whole crux of that movie
• 50:50
  is based on a quote from Walt Disney, which is
• 50:52
  keep moving forward. I've actually heard you
• 50:53
  say it a couple of times today, which is why
• 50:55
  I kept coming back to my mind when you said that.
• 50:57
  And I think that's it, right? We can have these
• 51:00
  failures or these things that aren't necessarily
• 51:02
  failures, but like, well, that would be really
• 51:04
  nice if it was that way. Right. And I'm going
• 51:07
  to... keep moving forward? I think there's, yeah.
• 51:10
  I mean, I think especially for my situation,
• 51:12
  there are things that, that happened to me and
• 51:15
  then there's things that I chose and they were
• 51:16
  both hard things that I've gone through those
• 51:20
  specific ones. There's lots in between, but,
• 51:22
  but because of that, you kind of have to just
• 51:25
  learn to, to live with the cards you were dealt
• 51:29
  with. Right. And, and make the best of it. And
• 51:31
  so I have this quote above my vanity and it says,
• 51:34
  she designed a life she loved. And I look at
• 51:39
  that every morning. And I am in that season of
• 51:42
  becoming. I'm in that season of loving the life
• 51:46
  that I have designed. And, you know, there's
• 51:49
  people that will say that's for selfish reasons
• 51:51
  or whatever. But I am not joking when I say I
• 51:55
  have never been closer to my kids. The relationship
• 51:57
  I have with them right now, I don't even know.
• 52:01
  I didn't even know it existed that we could be
• 52:03
  as close as we are. And I thought I was doing
• 52:06
  a good job before. And I didn't even realize.
• 52:09
  So my kids, I look at them and I look at how
• 52:12
  happy they are and how close we are. And I've
• 52:14
  got to be doing something right. So I think a
• 52:17
  lot of people could look at my life and think
• 52:20
  all the good things are happening and it's all
• 52:21
  sunshine and rainbows. And that's true to an
• 52:23
  extent. But there are definitely hard times.
• 52:26
  But I've designed it that way. How do you give
• 52:30
  yourself the space to have those moments where
• 52:33
  you do need to go home and cry? Well, I have
• 52:36
  my kids every other week. So we've got a one
• 52:40
  week on, one week off situation. But I'm a strong
• 52:45
  believer in bedtimes, whether it's summertime
• 52:47
  or not. And there's people that will disagree,
• 52:48
  but I believe in bedtimes. My kids are 6, 9,
• 52:51
  and 12. And I do that on purpose because that
• 52:56
  is the only time when I can close that door at
• 52:57
  night. I can finally, like, just let go of everything.
• 53:02
  Whether it's frustration or sadness or whatever
• 53:05
  I'm feeling that day. But I remember Miles walked
• 53:09
  in on me the other day when I was crying. And
• 53:11
  I just, I said, I'm having a moment. And you
• 53:16
  just have to let them know that this is hard,
• 53:19
  you know. And this is, I'm going through this
• 53:22
  for the first time. And I just. you know i'm
• 53:24
  okay i just need needed a minute and and you
• 53:27
  know i think there's it's okay to let them in
• 53:30
  you know on certain aspects like letting them
• 53:33
  know like this this is hard this isn't an easy
• 53:35
  thing you know um and so that watching him watch
• 53:39
  me do service or be emotional or whatever it
• 53:43
  is um i i hope it benefits him in the future
• 53:46
  i don't i don't always want to be that way but
• 53:48
  there are going to be moments that that come
• 53:50
  up and i think that Yes, I'd love to do it privately,
• 53:54
  but if he does see me in those moments or my
• 53:56
  others see me in those moments, I'm going to
• 53:59
  have to just be okay with that. I think one of
• 54:02
  the interesting things that we see when people
• 54:05
  get divorced when it comes to custody stuff,
• 54:08
  if somebody makes the choice to try to create
• 54:11
  the best life possible, they tend to be a lot
• 54:13
  more... present in the time they have with their
• 54:17
  kids than they might have otherwise. I mean,
• 54:20
  we as adults can fall into where we get wrapped
• 54:22
  into our phones, our electronic devices. We've
• 54:24
  got a lot of things going. We're never disconnected.
• 54:27
  And what I've found for me with my boys is it's
• 54:30
  very much that way. The times that I have them,
• 54:32
  I'm pretty locked in. It's this really unique
• 54:36
  experience. It's not unique. I guess a lot of
• 54:37
  people do it. But this last week, I went on young
• 54:40
  men's camp. Oh, yeah. And we were in Green River,
• 54:42
  Utah. None of the young men there could bring
• 54:46
  electronic devices at all. They weren't allowed
• 54:48
  to even bring them. And even though us as leaders
• 54:51
  did, there was zero reception. I mean, none.
• 54:55
  But kind of nice, right? It was actually so nice
• 54:58
  because I just found myself just in every moment
• 55:02
  being present, in every moment finding ways to
• 55:05
  either connect with my boys or the other young
• 55:07
  men that were there or even the other leaders
• 55:09
  that were there in a way that would have been
• 55:11
  so easy to just retreat. for half an hour, an
• 55:14
  hour, and just like look up ESPN and see what
• 55:16
  happened in the World Cup. Because I did want
• 55:18
  to know what was happening in the World Cup.
• 55:20
  But it allowed me to be so present. And I think,
• 55:24
  you know, as we make certain choices in our lives,
• 55:27
  being present with our kids is huge. Finding
• 55:30
  times to like sit down the phone for their benefit
• 55:32
  as well. It always like is soul crushing and
• 55:35
  yet such a great reminder. My two little daughters
• 55:38
  are the best at it. dad why are you on your phone
• 55:41
  or like taking you out on taking their hand like
• 55:43
  waving it in front of my screen i'm like oh this
• 55:46
  is yep this needs to go away because i've clearly
• 55:48
  made them think that in this moment that device
• 55:50
  was more important than them and it's never more
• 55:52
  important right um and so you know i do think
• 55:55
  that divorced parents can really make the choice
• 55:58
  to like use that as a catalyst to be super present.
• 56:01
  Yeah. I very intentional. I'm very intentional
• 56:03
  about the time I have my kids. Cause I only have
• 56:05
  them half the time. So then what happens if I'm
• 56:06
  tuned out half of that time, then it's only 25
• 56:09
  % of the time I get my kids. Right. So I am very
• 56:11
  aware and there are certain things that. work
• 56:15
  things do come up and it is what it is. And I
• 56:17
  try to talk them through that. But I think communication
• 56:19
  is the biggest part. It's explaining to them
• 56:21
  like, okay, look, this is what's gonna happen.
• 56:23
  I just need 20 minutes in my office, but then
• 56:24
  blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know? So it's
• 56:26
  communicating and not just the, give me a second,
• 56:28
  give me a, hold on, wait, just wait. Cause that's
• 56:31
  communicating something very different to them,
• 56:33
  right? So yeah, I'm very, very intentional. And
• 56:36
  yeah, you do savor those moments a lot more.
• 56:39
  So before we get to our fun segments, what's
• 56:43
  anything about Moana or your story that we should
• 56:47
  have talked about and we didn't? I like the part
• 56:50
  when she's on the boat and she's repeating that
• 56:53
  mantra over and over again. I am Moana of Montanui.
• 56:56
  I will drive this boat. I will do this. I will
• 57:00
  do that. And she's repeating it over and over
• 57:02
  and over again. And I just think... And nothing's
• 57:07
  working, right? She's trying to get the right
• 57:09
  direction and she just keeps veering, but she's
• 57:11
  repeating it over and over again. And I just
• 57:14
  love that part because I am doing that on a...
• 57:17
  daily basis yes i look like i'm a theater minor
• 57:20
  okay of course i look like i know what i'm doing
• 57:22
  i've got it all together right i'm acting right
• 57:24
  no but i i do put on this this perception that
• 57:27
  i have got everything under control and and i
• 57:30
  and i'm but those who know me know that i'm as
• 57:33
  real as they come and i will tell you what is
• 57:35
  really going on but i i do have to remind myself
• 57:38
  daily i can do this i can do this today's hard
• 57:42
  this week's going to be hard it's going to be
• 57:44
  very overwhelming i can do this and so No one
• 57:50
  knows what anyone's going through. No one knows
• 57:51
  what you've been through, but no one knows what
• 57:53
  you're going through. And I just think being
• 57:56
  kind to everyone is so important. And I've learned
• 57:59
  to just always be kind. Always be kind and just
• 58:03
  serve. And I think when I get lost in service
• 58:07
  and when I get lost in being kind to others,
• 58:10
  I'm able to... That mantra comes a lot easier
• 58:13
  for me where I'm like, okay, I can do this. I
• 58:14
  can. I can do this. This makes it easier because
• 58:17
  I'm helping other people. I can do it. I do think
• 58:20
  that's something that's gotten lost a little
• 58:21
  bit in the push for finding yourself and being
• 58:28
  authentic and making sure you've got yourself
• 58:33
  righted and self -help because all those things
• 58:35
  are good. And we also learn so much about ourselves.
• 58:40
  when we serve other people. We also find ourselves
• 58:42
  so much better and can find so much happiness
• 58:44
  when we focus on others and serve other people
• 58:47
  as well. And so I do think it's this interesting
• 58:50
  thing where we can't go so far astray to think
• 58:53
  it's only about ourselves. We have to look outward.
• 58:56
  We have to. You know, one of the things too,
• 58:58
  I'm glad you mentioned the mantra that she says,
• 59:01
  because I do, it also strikes me on how it changed
• 59:04
  throughout the movie, because initially it's,
• 59:06
  you know, I am Moana. um i'm gonna deliver you
• 59:09
  maui across the sea and you are gonna store the
• 59:12
  heart uh restore the heart of tafiti after he
• 59:15
  leaves and she has the experience with her grandma
• 59:17
  and she sings the song then it's i am moana i
• 59:21
  am going to board the boat i am going to go across
• 59:23
  the sea and i am going to restore the heart of
• 59:26
  defeat and she takes that power and says okay
• 59:28
  like in this moment i've got to do this i've
• 59:32
  got to take take on this this challenge this
• 59:34
  opportunity and when you know of course then
• 59:37
  you know maui ends up realizing the error of
• 59:39
  his way and coming back and helping but I do
• 59:42
  think mantras can be really important and really
• 59:44
  healthy for us. Yeah, for sure. And they do take
• 59:47
  on a different meaning, right, as you go on.
• 59:49
  It's like when you read the scriptures, you're
• 59:50
  like, wait, I didn't read that before. That means
• 59:53
  something different now. And I think, yeah, they
• 59:55
  can take on a different meaning and you learn
• 59:57
  from it and you just keep going. Yeah. You know,
• 59:59
  one of the things that, just to circle back to
• 1:00:01
  a little bit on kindness that you said, that
• 1:00:03
  I just think ties in so wonderfully with the
• 1:00:07
  way that you described. Making relationships
• 1:00:10
  with people which was about being genuine because
• 1:00:13
  kindness is so much more than niceness niceness
• 1:00:16
  can tend to lack that that Genuine nature, but
• 1:00:19
  the kindness has to have it. Yeah, you know if
• 1:00:22
  you're not genuine It's not kind and you can't
• 1:00:25
  find a deep love of kindness without being genuine
• 1:00:27
  out wanting to know a bit more about somebody
• 1:00:29
  right Caring about who they are and what they're
• 1:00:32
  experiencing not judging, like we talked about
• 1:00:34
  earlier, right? Withholding that judgment and
• 1:00:36
  being curious instead of just judgmental, then
• 1:00:39
  genuine connection comes so much richer and so
• 1:00:42
  much more fully when we can actually do that,
• 1:00:45
  empathize and be. deeply kind with those around
• 1:00:48
  us. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree. Okay. So you ready
• 1:00:50
  for some fun segments? Let's do it. Okay. This
• 1:00:53
  or that is our first segment. Okay. So it's just
• 1:00:55
  whichever one you think out of these two. And
• 1:00:57
  if it's a controversial opinion, we'll have to
• 1:01:00
  call you out on it. Okay. So I doubt anything
• 1:01:02
  I say will be incorrect. So go ahead and ask
• 1:01:04
  me anything. Love it. Okay. Ocean or mountains?
• 1:01:08
  Oh, ocean. A hundred percent. Okay. It's a good
• 1:01:11
  one. It's a good one. Of course it has to be.
• 1:01:15
  Canoe or sailboat? Sailboat. Bring me the wind,
• 1:01:18
  baby. Okay. Have you actually ever ridden a sailboat?
• 1:01:21
  No, but we had a boat growing up. So not a sailboat,
• 1:01:24
  but we had a boat. And there's nothing better
• 1:01:26
  than being out on the water. I think it's so
• 1:01:28
  fun. I love it. And the canoes are just too much
• 1:01:31
  work. Canoes are actually kind of hard. Well,
• 1:01:33
  yeah. Have you done the canoes at Disneyland?
• 1:01:38
  Oh, out to the Island. Yeah. Yeah. So you go
• 1:01:40
  around in the big thing and that's a freaking
• 1:01:42
  workout. I'm like, I'm already taking 10 ,000
• 1:01:44
  steps today. Why do I have to work my arms too?
• 1:01:47
  So no, it actually is. So on this young men's
• 1:01:50
  camp, we went down the green river twice. Okay.
• 1:01:52
  And it is a lot of work. And you realize you're
• 1:01:55
  like, man, like your last and your, your dry
• 1:01:57
  steps. You're like, wow, that is like, this Moana
• 1:02:00
  would be like, it's okay. If a man wants to do
• 1:02:02
  this, I'm okay with that. I'm good. I'll just
• 1:02:05
  look pretty and make the sandwiches. Island life
• 1:02:08
  or city life? I don't know. How long do I have
• 1:02:11
  to be there for? However long you think. Well,
• 1:02:16
  if we're talking like Hawaii and someone's bringing
• 1:02:18
  me like... you know, pina coladas and chips and
• 1:02:21
  salsa all day than that one. But the city, you
• 1:02:23
  can't, I mean, you've got New York, you've got
• 1:02:24
  Broadway. Do you love Broadway? I love Broadway.
• 1:02:28
  Oh my goodness. What do you think? I'm obsessed.
• 1:02:31
  Yes. Okay. Well, we're going to have to ask a
• 1:02:32
  question about that in the rapid fire segment.
• 1:02:34
  Then I'll add one because I know what I want
• 1:02:36
  to ask there. You know what I do love? I'll take
• 1:02:39
  a tangent. It's part of why I love Oahu because
• 1:02:42
  I can get both. Yeah. OK, so see, I've never
• 1:02:45
  been to Oahu. Honolulu is a little bit that way.
• 1:02:47
  Yes, Honolulu is. Yes, I've been there. There's
• 1:02:49
  also like a lot of places in Oahu, too, that
• 1:02:51
  are really beautiful. Maybe not as beautiful
• 1:02:54
  as Maui or the other islands. I can't. Kauai,
• 1:02:57
  right? Kauai, lush, beautiful. But that's why
• 1:03:00
  I do love Oahu. OK. Pua or Heihei? Ooh, Heihei.
• 1:03:05
  I'm obsessed with him. Are you kidding me? He's
• 1:03:07
  the best. He's so great. I love Heihei. Te Fiti
• 1:03:11
  or Grandma? her grandma specifically her grandma
• 1:03:15
  i'm obsessed with her too i love her and if she
• 1:03:18
  was in real life i'd be friends with her yeah
• 1:03:19
  she like the crazy lady right the crazy crazy
• 1:03:23
  spirited i'll do what i want like the best oh
• 1:03:26
  i can relate to her and she totally just helps
• 1:03:28
  moana just be freed from the shackles uh yeah
• 1:03:31
  grandma's amazing uh road trip or a flight in
• 1:03:36
  my first class let's say no you gotta be economy
• 1:03:39
  economy i mean Honestly, I love me a road trip.
• 1:03:44
  I love going to the gas station, getting all
• 1:03:46
  the fun snacks. I love being DJ, listening to
• 1:03:49
  music. I'm going to say road trip. What's your
• 1:03:51
  snack of choice on a road trip? Oh, I'm disgusting.
• 1:03:55
  So no one wants to ride with me. I'll tell you
• 1:03:57
  that right now. Let's hear it. What is it? Beef
• 1:03:59
  jerky. Oh, yeah. Peppered teriyaki. Teriyaki
• 1:04:02
  or pepper. I like both. I like peppered. Funyuns.
• 1:04:05
  Oh, that's why you said that. I love Funyuns.
• 1:04:08
  Watch out for some Funyuns. In fact, the guy
• 1:04:09
  I'm dating right now doesn't know that. But maybe
• 1:04:12
  I'm not. I don't know why I said that. That's
• 1:04:14
  weird. Why would I say that right now? Well,
• 1:04:15
  I mean, he's going to know now, Sierra. I do.
• 1:04:17
  I love Funyuns and Hot Cheetos. Okay, Hot Cheetos.
• 1:04:20
  So jerky, Hot Cheetos or Funyuns, and then Diet
• 1:04:24
  Dr. Pepper. And a take five. Diet Dr. Pepper
• 1:04:28
  versus Dr. Pepper Zero. Yes. I prefer the taste.
• 1:04:31
  I know. I'm an anomaly. I mean, I'm a Dr. Pepper
• 1:04:33
  Zero guy now. I know. I'm a Diet Dr. Pepper.
• 1:04:36
  Yeah. You're taking the hot Cheetos and like
• 1:04:38
  crumble them up over mac and cheese. I've eaten
• 1:04:41
  them with everything. So, yes. My favorite is
• 1:04:43
  to eat them with like a Beto's bean rice and
• 1:04:46
  cheese burrito and have hot Cheetos with it.
• 1:04:49
  Yeah, I'm gross. I mean, you probably don't think
• 1:04:52
  that about me initially. You're probably like,
• 1:04:54
  oh, she likes salad, and I'm good. No, all this
• 1:04:56
  sounds amazing, actually. It's making me hungry.
• 1:04:59
  This is fantastic. Okay, so my next question
• 1:05:03
  was going to be for islands in Hawaii, but you
• 1:05:06
  said you've never been to Oahu. No, I've only
• 1:05:08
  been to Maui. I've been to Honolulu, but briefly,
• 1:05:11
  and then I went to the Big Island this last time.
• 1:05:13
  Okay, so let's say Maui or Big Island. Oh, Maui.
• 1:05:16
  I mean, I love the Big Island Bailey. Your wedding
• 1:05:18
  was beautiful, but definitely Maui. Maui. Maui
• 1:05:21
  is amazing. I also stayed at the Four Seasons
• 1:05:22
  and it was amazing. Yeah, that would be the case.
• 1:05:25
  Have you golfed on Maui? I haven't golfed on
• 1:05:28
  Maui. I wasn't golfing back then when I was doing
• 1:05:30
  it, but next time. I don't know what the course
• 1:05:33
  was that I golfed on in Maui, but every hole
• 1:05:35
  you could see the ocean, every one they positioned
• 1:05:37
  just perfectly so you could. Oh my gosh, how
• 1:05:39
  amazing. Heaven. How amazing. It was totally
• 1:05:41
  heaven. Early riser or night owl? Neither. Can
• 1:05:46
  I sleep? Can I just sleep? You want to sleep
• 1:05:49
  in and you want to go to bed early. Okay. I was
• 1:05:53
  not expecting that one, but I will say I would
• 1:05:56
  rather stay up than get up early. But my job,
• 1:05:59
  I mean, I'm like, you know, your, your mental
• 1:06:01
  clock goes off early. Now I don't even think
• 1:06:02
  I'm capable of sleeping in past eight 30. So,
• 1:06:04
  I mean, yeah, I, I, but I, but before Sierra,
• 1:06:09
  she loves, she loves her sleep. So I'm going
• 1:06:11
  to say. Neither. Neither. Okay, that's a fair
• 1:06:14
  answer. Sparkling water or soda? Soda, 100%.
• 1:06:18
  Because you said Diet Dr. Pepper. Coke Zero or
• 1:06:20
  Diet Dr. Pepper. Okay, now Coke Zero I can get
• 1:06:22
  behind. 100%. It depends on where the restaurant
• 1:06:25
  offers. I'm going to initially say Diet Dr. Pepper,
• 1:06:27
  but if they don't, I'll do a Coke Zero. And they
• 1:06:28
  almost never will have Diet Dr. Pepper. Every
• 1:06:30
  once in a while, they're Pepsi products because
• 1:06:32
  Dr. Pepper is their own entity. So they go, you
• 1:06:35
  know, but yeah, I typically, Coke Zero will do
• 1:06:39
  the trick though, for sure. Yeah, I love Coke
• 1:06:41
  Zero. Okay, Netflix night in or girls night out?
• 1:06:45
  Is my Netflix night in with my boyfriend or is
• 1:06:48
  it not? I think that's your call. If I'm with
• 1:06:51
  someone, I'll do Netflix night in for sure because
• 1:06:54
  I tend to lean into that. I love that. Yeah.
• 1:06:58
  Cuddle. Maybe it's because I work for Mickey
• 1:06:59
  Couture, you know, and I just love the blankets.
• 1:07:01
  Absolutely. I work all day. But I will say I
• 1:07:04
  do love me some dancing and dinner with the girls.
• 1:07:07
  Good. Yeah, both. So it's kind of both. That's
• 1:07:09
  just totally fair. Okay, you ready for the rapid
• 1:07:11
  fire? Let's do it. Favorite Disney movie? Ooh,
• 1:07:14
  like right off the bat? This is going to sound
• 1:07:17
  bad, but I have all boys, heavyweights. Heavyweight
• 1:07:21
  heavyweights is a Disney movie and my kids is
• 1:07:23
  that you've never seen heavyweight. Oh Ryan this
• 1:07:27
  is a Disney podcast. Is this like a thing like
• 1:07:29
  a Disney Channel exclusive pull up the information
• 1:07:32
  on heavyweights Yeah, it's about all these boys
• 1:07:36
  that go to a fat camp to lose weight and they
• 1:07:38
  realize that like it's not about like just their
• 1:07:40
  diet It's about like feeling good about themselves
• 1:07:42
  and they lean into the friendships and when was
• 1:07:44
  when did this come out? Okay, I think I know
• 1:07:47
  the movie then. Well, I just dated myself, so
• 1:07:50
  now everyone knows Holden. It's been a long time
• 1:07:51
  since I've seen it. Yeah, my kids, we love heavyweights.
• 1:07:53
  It's the best. It's hilarious. And Ben Stiller's
• 1:07:55
  in it. Yeah. Okay, see, now it's ringing about.
• 1:07:58
  Dawson knows what I'm talking about. Now it's
• 1:08:00
  ringing about. Okay. Favorite Disney song? Oh,
• 1:08:03
  you know what? It's so random, but I obsess with
• 1:08:06
  it. Mulan. um let's get down to business or whatever
• 1:08:10
  that song is that's not random I am upset but
• 1:08:12
  it's so not like it's Donny Osmond I'm obsessed
• 1:08:15
  with it it's and I feel so like I'll play it
• 1:08:18
  in the car with my kids and they're like why
• 1:08:19
  are we doing I'm like I love it just let me have
• 1:08:21
  it it'll get you pumped up love it like it gets
• 1:08:23
  me all jazzed and energized like yeah I'm gonna
• 1:08:25
  go get down to business I'm gonna go accomplish
• 1:08:27
  some stuff I love it Love it. Such a great song.
• 1:08:29
  See, I think, I mean, Mulan did well, but I think
• 1:08:32
  it's a little underrated. It is underrated. I
• 1:08:34
  think it's pretty amazing. It is underrated.
• 1:08:35
  And it's not even like the storyline is like,
• 1:08:38
  oh my gosh, it's amazing. Because I guess it
• 1:08:39
  is kind of like an I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar storyline.
• 1:08:42
  But more than anything, it's funny. I mean, you've
• 1:08:45
  got, you know. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy in
• 1:08:48
  anything. I'll take it. I mean, Shrek was, you
• 1:08:50
  know, that's not, that's DreamWorks. That's not
• 1:08:52
  Disney. But yeah. So anyway. Yeah, it's Donkey.
• 1:08:54
  Yeah, he was great as that. Favorite Disney princess?
• 1:08:58
  bell bell yeah i actually have brown hair and
• 1:09:01
  this is fake i know everyone looked at me and
• 1:09:04
  thought i was a natural blonde but um i always
• 1:09:07
  related to belle growing up i just thought she
• 1:09:09
  was the most beautiful princess do you love to
• 1:09:11
  read no no okay so you related to her in other
• 1:09:15
  ways okay i was like a big reader a lot of times
• 1:09:17
  a lot of times she is eternal though and i relate
• 1:09:20
  to that like her just taking care of her dad
• 1:09:21
  like she's maternal she's smart she's kind, you
• 1:09:25
  know, she's so kind to everyone. But more than
• 1:09:28
  that, yeah, like she, I love reading, like I
• 1:09:31
  just talked to someone about this. I love self
• 1:09:33
  -help books. I love those. I'm not a huge romance
• 1:09:35
  novel or like things like that, but I do love
• 1:09:38
  to read. Self -help books are reading too. Yeah,
• 1:09:41
  totally. Okay. Favorite Disney hero or heroine?
• 1:09:45
  Oh my gosh. Can I say Moana? Of course you can.
• 1:09:51
  I mean, she's amazing. Absolutely. She's a total
• 1:09:53
  hero. There's a reason I thought of her when
• 1:09:55
  I came to this podcast, because I just think
• 1:09:56
  she was so capable and strong and courageous.
• 1:10:01
  And I love that. I love that. It's great. I mean,
• 1:10:05
  most princesses were, but I like her. Yeah, that's
• 1:10:07
  a great answer. Okay, best Minky blanket. The
• 1:10:11
  cream hugs. Milk chocolate hugs. Cream. Cream.
• 1:10:14
  So it's one of them. The cream hugs is our bestseller,
• 1:10:17
  but there's a reason it's our bestseller. Yeah,
• 1:10:19
  because our hugs, it has that like sewn in that
• 1:10:22
  stretch sewn in. So it actually feels like a
• 1:10:24
  hug, but it is this there's a buttery soft and
• 1:10:27
  just you quite literally melt into it. Find yours
• 1:10:32
  at your local Mickey Couture stores in Draper
• 1:10:35
  and Orem and Sugar House. Anyway, well, we're
• 1:10:37
  just going to we're going to have to put a link
• 1:10:38
  in the episode. You will absolutely have to.
• 1:10:40
  It'll be there for ultimate dinner guest. Like
• 1:10:43
  Dead or Alive? Dead or Alive. Oh, fudge. I know
• 1:10:51
  this is what it is, but I'm going to have to
• 1:10:53
  say Steve Carell. I'm obsessed with him. The
• 1:10:56
  Office, yes, but every movie he's done, anything
• 1:10:59
  he's touched is gold, but definitely. But can
• 1:11:01
  I say Michael Scott? Can Michael Scott show up
• 1:11:05
  to dinner? Because that might be the best. I
• 1:11:07
  mean, that would be pretty hilarious. Steve Carell,
• 1:11:09
  I am so impressed with that man. You know what's
• 1:11:11
  so funny? When you were talking earlier about
• 1:11:13
  your acting and like having to apologize to people
• 1:11:17
  afterwards because you're the mean. Like, what
• 1:11:19
  I thought of when you said that was Steve Carell.
• 1:11:21
  Because that's what he did in the office. When
• 1:11:22
  you see bloopers afterwards, he would say these
• 1:11:25
  horrible things. And then he just couldn't hold
• 1:11:26
  it together. He's like, you guys, I'm so sorry.
• 1:11:28
  It's so awful. You do. You think they're taking
• 1:11:31
  it personally at the time. You're like, I'm so
• 1:11:33
  sorry. Yeah, I love Steve Carell. I love laughing.
• 1:11:38
  And he is one that always gets me laughing. Oh,
• 1:11:41
  yeah. If you went to dinner with him, you would
• 1:11:43
  not stop laughing. No. And it would be fantastic.
• 1:11:46
  See, I would love to have dinner with him and
• 1:11:47
  John Chris. Oh, together. The two of them are
• 1:11:50
  like magic together. What about Dwight Shrew?
• 1:11:53
  I mean, you got to get Reed Wilson in there.
• 1:11:55
  He's a little more cynical in real life. I've
• 1:11:58
  seen that. You're right. Yes, I have seen that.
• 1:12:00
  I mean, I still would like to hang out with him
• 1:12:02
  and talk with him. Yeah, you're right. It might
• 1:12:04
  be a better dynamic. John and Steve just seem
• 1:12:06
  like just positive guys who are just putting
• 1:12:08
  so much good out there in the world. Okay, favorite
• 1:12:12
  restaurant? Favorite restaurant. Okay, well,
• 1:12:17
  I'm going to be a little unique here. And this
• 1:12:20
  is no surprise for anyone who knows me, but I
• 1:12:22
  know it's not a restaurant, but Jack in the Box
• 1:12:24
  is my absolute favorite. Jack in the Box. Really?
• 1:12:28
  I'm obsessed with Jack in the Box tacos. No kidding.
• 1:12:30
  They're egg rolls, junior jumbo jack, no onions,
• 1:12:34
  and then a curly fry and teriyaki bowl. But that's
• 1:12:38
  just like a normal order. So, but yeah, I'm obsessed
• 1:12:41
  with Jack in the Box. I have been since I was
• 1:12:43
  a kid. That has to do because you're from California.
• 1:12:46
  100%. Because we didn't have that here for a
• 1:12:47
  long time. I know. And you're welcome that it's
• 1:12:50
  back because we're changing lives every day.
• 1:12:52
  Yeah. And I say we like I'm a part of it, but
• 1:12:54
  I probably hold stock at this point. But yeah,
• 1:12:57
  I always said if I ever left Minky, which I would
• 1:12:59
  never leave Minky, but if I ever did, it'd be
• 1:13:01
  to work. Like I could like put me in marketing
• 1:13:04
  at Jack in the Box. I would kill it. I would
• 1:13:06
  get anyone to try it. And then they'd fall in
• 1:13:08
  love with it because it's fantastic. And anyone
• 1:13:11
  who doesn't like Jack in the Box, everyone needs
• 1:13:12
  to calm down. Because it's that amazing. It's
• 1:13:14
  amazing. Yeah. Okay. You might not have one here
• 1:13:18
  from what you said earlier, but we're going to
• 1:13:19
  go with it anyways. Favorite book. Favorite book.
• 1:13:26
  Screw tape letters. C .S. Lewis. Okay. Fantastic.
• 1:13:29
  Love that. That's great. Okay. Now we're going
• 1:13:32
  to go to your, still rapid fire, but we're going
• 1:13:34
  to go back to your roots. Favorite role that
• 1:13:37
  you've ever played? Vanessa Harrington. I said
• 1:13:40
  her name and I can't believe I remembered her
• 1:13:42
  name, but she was just my first lead and I loved
• 1:13:45
  it. And she was the mean girl and I'm not mean.
• 1:13:47
  And so it was fun. Favorite musical? Okay, and
• 1:13:53
  I know this is not ideal for being an LDS woman,
• 1:13:56
  but Chicago. That was my very first Broadway
• 1:13:59
  play. I was actually on a church history tour
• 1:14:02
  in high school. And they said you could go see
• 1:14:04
  any Broadway play. And at the time, Chicago was
• 1:14:06
  playing. And the music, anyone who knows the
• 1:14:08
  music of Chicago, you know how addicting it can
• 1:14:10
  be to listen to. It's fantastic. I mean, I didn't
• 1:14:12
  know at the time what they were really singing
• 1:14:14
  about, obviously, until later. Even if I was
• 1:14:16
  in high school, I was like the Mormon table high
• 1:14:18
  school. And so, yeah, but that Chicago, I've
• 1:14:22
  seen Wicked, I've seen everything. I've seen
• 1:14:23
  a couple since then, but Chicago is just, I love
• 1:14:26
  it. I'm pretty excited. In a few weeks, I'm going
• 1:14:29
  to go down to St. George, Utah. No fun. And at
• 1:14:32
  Tuakon, they've got Les Mis. Yes. And boy, Les
• 1:14:35
  Mis is pretty high up. That's pretty high up,
• 1:14:37
  yeah. I love Les Mis so much. Like any opportunity
• 1:14:40
  I can get to see it. The music in that one. Yeah,
• 1:14:42
  the music is absolutely killer. So I'll let me
• 1:14:45
  see what my name is. Okay. Best advice to someone
• 1:14:48
  facing a new chapter and anxious about their
• 1:14:51
  next step. Oh, best advice. Don't get lost in
• 1:15:00
  yourself and remember to serve. Because I think
• 1:15:06
  a lot of people, I think it's very, when you're
• 1:15:07
  embarking on a new journey, it's very easy to
• 1:15:09
  be selfish and justify your actions. And I can
• 1:15:12
  admit that I probably even did that at the beginning
• 1:15:13
  when I first launched going back into the workforce
• 1:15:16
  where I was justifying my actions and, well,
• 1:15:19
  I'm doing this for my kids and I'm doing it for
• 1:15:21
  this. And maybe it was a little selfish because
• 1:15:23
  I was getting some glory or something. But realizing
• 1:15:27
  that the only true way to be happy is to make
• 1:15:32
  sure that you're looking outward and not just
• 1:15:34
  looking in. Yeah. So serving is huge. Fantastic
• 1:15:37
  advice. I love it. So on that note. We always
• 1:15:40
  like to end every episode with three actionable
• 1:15:43
  takeaways. Okay. So what are your recommended
• 1:15:48
  three actionable takeaways for somebody who is
• 1:15:52
  designing and building a new life and the process
• 1:15:56
  of becoming? Well, the first would be to jump.
• 1:16:00
  Just jump. Do it. Jump. Don't think too much
• 1:16:06
  about it and jump. The second would be to don't
• 1:16:12
  stop going. Don't stop. I feel like we do something
• 1:16:16
  that we're scared of and we're so quick to retreat
• 1:16:18
  if it doesn't go a certain way. You have to keep
• 1:16:21
  going. That's the only way to realize how strong
• 1:16:23
  you are and to accomplish things that are going
• 1:16:25
  to make you proud of yourself. So just keep going.
• 1:16:30
  The third would be to serve. I mean, I've said
• 1:16:33
  it the whole time, but I just think service is
• 1:16:35
  just huge. And I think a lot of people think
• 1:16:37
  service has to be making a meal for someone,
• 1:16:39
  you know, or going out of your way to do these
• 1:16:42
  grand things. But serving can also be just being
• 1:16:45
  kind and taking the extra five minutes to have
• 1:16:48
  that conversation or, you know, remembering to
• 1:16:52
  wish someone a happy birthday or something like
• 1:16:55
  that. I do think that just being outside of yourself
• 1:16:58
  and being aware of other people. Yeah, love it.
• 1:17:01
  Absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much for the
• 1:17:03
  conversation today. Thank you for being vulnerable
• 1:17:06
  with us, sharing parts of your life where you've
• 1:17:10
  had some trials, but also where you've shown
• 1:17:12
  some amazing resilience and strength to build
• 1:17:16
  and create a very beautiful and wonderful life
• 1:17:19
  for yourself. So thank you so much. Well, thank
• 1:17:21
  you. Thank you for having me. You bet. As you
• 1:17:23
  leave this conversation, remember that yes, the
• 1:17:26
  past can hurt. And you can either run from it
• 1:17:29
  or you can learn from it. So here's to learning
• 1:17:32
  and finding joy in the journey. See you real
• 1:17:35
  soon.