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How can I advocate for myself? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, how can we successfully advocate for ourselves?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: For me, that isn't about demanding special treatment, which is a big misconception.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's about understanding ourselves, recognising what we need, and feeling confident enough to communicate those needs to other people without overjustifying.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, one of the biggest ways that I think is most effective is understanding our own neurodiversity.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: The more we understand about how we think, communicate, and process information, the easier it can be to explain what works for us and to build confidence in that.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: For example, somebody might need a visual cue, instructions to be explained, to go through something physically, a process, to be able to put those steps of the routine in place, or somebody might need a little bit of time to process information before responding.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Counseling can be really helpful here, particularly self-awareness and reflection.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: We can prompt ourselves with what situations do we find it difficult, what helps us feel regulated, what are our strengths and what are our needs and how can we build on them?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: These questions allow us to sort of accept the brains that we have been given and work with them in ways that they thrive rather than beating ourselves up with negative self-talk.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Another important skill is assertive communication.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Advocacy isn't being confrontational, it's about communicating needs respectfully and clearly.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: For example, instead of apologising for needing something, we could say I process information better when I have it in writing and I can go over it in my own time.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Would it be okay if you sent that on to me?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is a reasonable request and we don't have to feel guilty for making them.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I also think self-compassion is really important.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So we may have experienced situations where people misunderstood us or made us feel like our differences are weaknesses, and we can internalise them as personal defects.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Counselling encourages to challenge the internalized stigma.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of criticising ourselves, we can recognise that we're doing the best we have with the resources that we have.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that looks different.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Advocating for ourselves also means setting boundaries.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: We can recognise when something is overwhelming and to communicate that.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't a failure, it's not being dismissive, it's recognising our limits and building in line with our capacity.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, though, I think advocating for ourselves starts with giving ourselves permission to have needs.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to become less neurodivergent to fit the world.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, we can learn how to communicate what we need, recognise our strengths, ask for reasonable support, and surround ourselves with people who are willing to understand and work with us as we are to work with them.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: For me, self advocacy is about moving away from what's wrong with me to what do I need and how can I communicate that.