Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / why you should celebrate the small stuff

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why you should celebrate the small stuff · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

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  Most people believe that progress within mental health,
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  or progress in general, has to come in leaps and bounds, that
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  you have to set new habits and have improved mental health in
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  just a few days or weeks. Unfortunately, this simply isn't
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  how it works and will ultimately lead to burnout.
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  But what if I told you that sometimes doing the bare minimum
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  is how you progress? What if I told you that
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  sometimes the small wins are more important than the big
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  ones? My name is Ethan Jewell and
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  welcome back to Feel Your Feelings Now.
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  I've always been somebody with big goals.
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  When I was younger, I wanted to start a pizza restaurant that
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  was also a comedy club and I would just walk around telling
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  jokes and making pizzas for people.
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  And then for a while I wanted to be an astronaut, and now I want
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  to be a musician. I always have wanted to reach
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  big. I've always wanted to aim high.
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  I've always wanted to do big things.
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  But then I got pretty depressed for a few years, and I tried to
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  handle my mental health the same way that I handle other goals.
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  I tried to reach big. I would set these huge goals for
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  myself where it was like, OK, once Monday morning rolls
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  around, I'm going to be a new person, you know, I'm going to
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  be rid of my mental health problems, and I'm going to just
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  grab life by the reins and stop being depressed.
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  This was a mistake that I made with my mental health.
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  I was always aiming for the moon.
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  When really all I was capable of was aiming for the ceiling of my
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  room. When I missed the moon and fell
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  flat, I would be overcome by guilt and self doubt for not
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  being able to accomplish my goals.
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  You see, I would go from being depressed and sleeping until
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  noon to trying to wake up at 6:00 AM every day to work out
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  and be the best version of me. The thing is, as wonderful as it
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  sounds to make progress like this, it's simply isn't viable.
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  You will reach burnout the same way that I did many, many times,
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  and you might even give up trying to improve yourself
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  entirely. This applies for mental health.
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  If you aren't able to accept the fact that progress has to be
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  slow, it will feel impossible to make progress at all.
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  Some days you will feel good, yes, and you'll have made
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  progress. But other days you will feel
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  crushed by the weight of everything and the bare minimum
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  is all you can do. And let me tell you, that is
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  enough. So let's talk about small ones
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  and how important it is to notice and celebrate them.
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  During times of struggle or pause.
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  It can be difficult to recognize our own self worth and
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  acknowledge that small victories are worth something.
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  We expect more and more from ourselves, and will eventually
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  be left feeling empty and hopeless over the fact that we
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  can't do anything bigger. When you focus on the small
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  wins, not only does it just feel good, but it causes a reaction
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  on our brains that encourages us to keep doing that.
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  And we can grow off of that. According to an article from the
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  University of Minnesota Extension, an accomplishment, no
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  matter how small, releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, which
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  boosts your mood, motivation, and attention.
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  It also, however, signals you to keep doing the activity.
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  Again and again, our brains are wired to respond to rewards, to
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  respond to things being completed.
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  And whenever we get this positive response, we want to
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  keep going. We want to keep doing it.
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  We want to get out of bed in the morning and complete a task, no
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  matter how small. Making our beds, going for a
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  walk, talking to a friend, doing that one task that we've been
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  putting off for a month. It all adds up.
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  It's like the snowball effect. You have to start with a small
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  snowball rolling down the hill and allow it to build into a
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  larger snowball. If you try to start with the
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  large snowball, you may never be able to get it rolling, and you
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  may never even start by eliminating the thought of
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  jumping into the daunting task, the big thing that you need to
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  eventually get done and instead allowing small wins to build up.
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  Over time we break progress into manageable portions that we can
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  complete one bite at a time. Really, these small wins, these
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  small tasks that we complete, are not so small and eventually
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  lead to something quite large. In order to build, we need to
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  start with small bricks. In order to lay a foundation, we
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  need to start small. So acknowledge your small
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  victories. Acknowledge your small wins.
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  But how does this apply to our mental health?
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  If you experience mental health problems, you know that they
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  won't just solve themselves. However, getting well mentally
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  is a big and daunting task. You often have to literally
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  rewire the way you think. You have to form new habits and
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  take different actions in order to heal and feel better.
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  You have to process feelings that you haven't dealt with and
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  possibly bring up old, unmanaged trauma.
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  It's difficult and it's scary, especially if you're already
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  trying to preside over the mental health battles that
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  you're currently facing. This leaves you feeling
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  exhausted before you even start. So what we must do is ease
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  ourselves into healing and make it more manageable.
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  By practicing small acts of self-care, we become more
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  comfortable with ourselves and how it feels to deal with the
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  things that hurt us. We spend time caring for
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  ourselves little by little, and eventually it becomes so much
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  easier. Think of it like taking a cold
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  bath. You know, for a long time I
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  would. I would take a cold bath or a
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  cold shower in the morning, and at first it was nearly
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  impossible. I could spend maybe 5 or 10
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  seconds in the cold water before I had to quit.
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  However, after a month or two, I was able to stay in the cold
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  water for 30 seconds, 45 seconds and then a minute and so on, and
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  I started to feel the positive benefits of this.
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  I felt more energized. In the morning I got a dopamine
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  release from doing something difficult and slowly it built
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  into a healthy habit. The same way you have to sit
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  with those uncomfortable feelings one bit at a time, you
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  need to start practicing these small acts of self-care.
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  And eventually, just like these cold showers, it becomes much
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  easier. It becomes a habit, so I
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  challenge you to start small and celebrate the little wins.
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  Make your bed in the morning and brush your teeth.
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  That's a win for someone struggling mentally.
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  Call a friend or loved one and tell them you're thinking of
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  them. That's a win.
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  Take a deep breath whenever you feel upset and simply
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  acknowledge what emotion you're feeling, that's a win.
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  You don't need to take leaps and bounds.
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  Instead, you can take slow steps and crawl.
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  By simply acknowledging your mental state every day and doing
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  even the smallest bit of self reflection, you can become more
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  comfortable with the things you feel.
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  If you do this every day and celebrate it as a small win, you
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  will eventually lead to proper, deep self reflection, the kind
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  that you may do in therapy. Staying consistent with this
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  could even make therapy in the future easier and more
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  manageable. So try to start engaging in and
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  celebrating small victories. Do the little things and watch
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  as it builds into something beautiful.
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  I want to remind you I'm not a mental health professional.
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  I'm not a therapist, I'm not a doctor, but this is something
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  that I have practiced in my own life and it has made a world of
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  difference in my day-to-day mental health.
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  Do the little things and watch as it builds into something
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  beautiful. I can almost guarantee that it
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  will make a difference in your day-to-day life.
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  And one day you'll look back and be incredibly grateful that you
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  ever started. That's gonna wrap it up for
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  today's episode. If you need help feeling your
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  feelings, check out my music on all platforms under the name of
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  Ethan Jewell and I almost guarantee it'll make you cry.
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  Also, shoot me a message on my Instagram at Jewellboy with an
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  eye under score and let me know what you thought about today's
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  episode. So thank you so much for being
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  here. Thank you for celebrating those
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  little wins with me. And as always, thank you for
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  feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.