Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 260. The Messy Art of Being Real

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260. The Messy Art of Being Real · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Rochelle Christiane podcast.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I'm Rochelle, your host.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I'm here to help you come back to your body, take charge of your emotions and live life on your terms.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what it means to trust yourself, lean to your power and create a life that feels aligned and alive.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: We'll explore human design, astrology and other tools to help you understand your unique energy.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: More importantly, though, we're going to talk about what it means to actually live and embody these aspects.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: So each week, I'm going to share stories, lessons, guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and really own your magic.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: So if you're ready to step up, take control and show up as the most authentic version of you, let's begin.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Today, I have a big topic that I want to talk about, and that really is authenticity.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: What's been coming up for me a lot over the last I mean for so long, but really specifically the last six months is just like how to be authentic, because I think so many of us are chasing.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: We all want to be authentic, right, but I think sometimes it's this really curated, like perfected version of ourselves, and I believe authenticity is actually really messy.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: It's really raw, it's really vulnerable and what I found to be true for myself.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: So this podcast is gonna be about authenticity and it's also gonna be about the full moon and I'm gonna wrap it up in like a pretty bow by the end of this episode.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: What I found to be true for myself over the last, you know, however long is that being my authentic self is accepting myself in all ways.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Right, we all have duality, we all have lightness, we all have darkness.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: We all have things about ourselves that we don't maybe want to share on social media, right?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I think that we see people on social media and we see this healing perfected.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Not everyone, of course.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: There are some people who show up very raw and very vulnerable, but I think the majority of us are showing the side of us that's healing and maybe not the side of us that's healing and maybe not the side of us that's actually really messy, and I try to show both sides of it.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: But also, I'm a six line and I have a Leo moon rising, and so there is a part of me that wants to be on the other side before I share things so that I can look like the role model and I'm air quoting that I'm also a third line, right?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: So my life is trial and error.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: There are a lot of messy things.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: There are a lot of messy things.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: There are a lot of parts of myself that I am facing and not necessarily I don't want to say that I don't like, because I've done a lot of work around just accepting and loving all parts of me.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: But there are still codependent parts of me, right, there are still selfish parts of me.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: There are still parts of me that you know as a parent.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's like I don't want to listen to what the kids have to say, right, like there are parts of me that I'm not, that I don't like, right, I can love all parts of me and not like all parts of me, but I think that authenticity is being with yourself and accepting yourself in all ways, in all ways that show up.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: And so I've been doing meditations twice a day, so every morning and every night, and if I can do a third one, I'll drop it in there.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I haven't done a third one in a while, but for sure the morning and the evening ones.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: And what I've noticed that it's doing is it's making me very conscious of my thoughts throughout the day.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: It's making me very conscious of my moods throughout the day.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: It has stabilized me in the most beautiful way.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: But I notice when I'm out of sync.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I notice when I'm in a low vibration, low frequency thought or quality of thought.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I notice when I'm feeling jealousy, when I'm feeling anger, like they're not explosive emotions anymore, they're very regulated because I have the tools now to just breathe and pause and be calm in that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: But because it's created so much awareness, I'm seeing it a lot more right.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: I'm noticing a lot more of the thoughts that happen day to day and it's easier to reroute those and accept those.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: And I think the key piece is an acceptance where it's like okay.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I witnessed myself feeling this.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily like it, but it's also okay, right.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: It's a part of the process again, because we all have shadow, we all have lightness and it's in every shadow that there is a gift for us if we're really opening ourselves to do the work.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: And it's not to live in shadow work and it's not to live in positivity.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: And I think there are so many confusing messages.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: When you get on social media, when you're working with different coaches, of course we're all teaching what's true for us and I do believe that people will be drawn to our truth.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: As a coach, right, there are, of course, universal truths, but it can be really confusing when we look around of, like, well, we really need to be doing the shadow work, or you really need to be in the positivity or affirmations work, or mood boards work, or you know, this works, whatever there are.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Again, I think certain things that do work, like meditation through the ages has been one of those things that works.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I think moving your body through the ages is one of those things that works.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I think sleep through the ages is one of those things that works.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: So there are certain things that do work.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Right, but, like coming back to that authenticity piece, I feel like again, like being with and accepting the thing in the moment, because we're also constantly changing, constantly evolving right.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: The version of you tomorrow might be drastically different than the version of you right now, because we have free will, we have free choice.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: If we're really showing up and doing the work and choosing something different, that will change the course of our life, who we are, right, and so there are all these different ways.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: So it's like, and I also think that when we look back to our childhood, that zero to seven year age range and more so zero to 21,.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: The Venus sequence cycles through these massive three year cycles in our life, but that 0 to 7-year age range there are certain narratives that we took on because in that age range we are literally, I feel, like pure unconditional love.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: We are walking around in a theta brainwave state.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: We are very innocent and of course there are exceptions to the rule.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: There are some children that have been forced to grow up quicker than they should have or could have.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: But I do think that there is an element of you know in that age range when they say, like all you need is love.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I truly believe that's sort of the core need at that age range, obviously other than like food, you know water, stuff like that, but love is definitely up there.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: And when I think about that so every time I do a meditation, every time I drop in, every time I do work on me being capable or competent or, you know, finding my shadows, there's always this one specific memory that comes up for me.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: And I know my mom listens to this sometimes so she doesn't mind me sharing the story, but when we used to live in Canada.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: My mom was driving from Canada to New Jersey and she got in a car accident in the mountains and I remember just being woken up in the middle of the night my dad, like was, took us to the neighbor's house because he had to go wherever she was to get her, and I remember the next day that she came home before she had left.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: You know, my parents have always done this, where they travel somewhere and they bring us back like a gift or something you know that says like the place, the very minimum right, like the place that they went, or something like that.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: So they've always like just gotten us little things wherever they went.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: And so my mom came back.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: I remember she was on the couch.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: She had like a broken leg, broken ribs, like she was, you know.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Obviously she had been in a car accident.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: It was very obvious and I think I was like maybe four, something like that, and I remember like being concerned and scared and I asked oh, did you bring us anything?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Because that was just.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: She said she was going to.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: And I think that in my childlike innocent brain I was scared and that was kind of like the thing that I said and I remember like getting yelled at and I and you know, obviously in hindsight my four-year-old brain could not understand what was happening.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm sure I could feel it, but I couldn't understand it, I couldn't intellectualize it, I couldn't like comprehend the situation.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Of course, as an adult, I look back and I'm like, wow, my mom went through like massive trauma.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: My dad was woken up in the middle of the night and had to drive and get her.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: He was probably exhausted, concerned, like doctor's bills, like there's so much that goes along with that in the adult world.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: But my four-year-old self didn't understand that.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: And I just remember like asking that and getting yelled at, and I don't remember if they said I was selfish, but something along those lines.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: But I remember sitting outside on the like sidewalk, just like crying and thinking like what a horrible person I was, right, I was so selfish, how could I have asked that?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's something I've carried on throughout my life, where it's like when I speak my truth or I speak my voice or I speak up, there's this internal thing in me that's like but you're wrong, like why would you think that that's bad, that's selfish, right?
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: And it's something I've really had to rewire to be like no, like my voice, like is actually really beautiful, right, like my thoughts and the way I operate is actually really beautiful.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: And if we're doing the blame game on astrology, I'm air quoting, it's just a joke.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: But if we're doing the like astrology thing, you know my sun, my midheaven and my mercury are in Taurus, right, and so in the 10th house, so public facing, there's just so much of me that is in the material world and so those things are important to me.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: And, of course, like, we can look at it as selfish, but that's just the narrative I've taken on.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: So I say all this to say that I think that sometimes there are certain narratives, certain beliefs that we hold about ourselves that were put there by someone else Well-intentioned, right, like some people are not well-intentioned.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: But generally, when we're looking at our childhood, from zero to seven years, our parents are doing the best that they can with what they have, and I don't think any parent makes a comment thinking, oh, I hope that I fuck my kid up when they're an adult.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Like, of course, not right.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: There are things that I'm sure I've said to my kids that they're going to be 25, 30 and realize like, wow, I didn't realize.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: That comment stuck with me and that's why I've been this way my entire life, and so how I'm bringing this into the authenticity piece is that I think that honoring being authentic.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: It can be confusing to know, like, who we are sometimes because we're layered with conditioning.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: But I think the authenticity piece comes in when I say something and I get that feeling of like, oh, did I say something wrong?
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Did I do something wrong?
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Am I going to be looked at as selfish for thinking this Like, oh my gosh, I just shared a thought.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Being with that and owning that is being authentic, right, this morning we were late to school, so school started yesterday.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I'm recording this.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: On Tuesday School started yesterday for my kids Super early, I know, but school started yesterday and the drop-off line is insane.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Like my kids were like 15 minutes late both days, through no fault of our own, granted, if we had been there at seven when the line started, we probably would have been further along in the line and maybe they wouldn't have been late.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: But that's a whole thing for another story.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: But I told my kids we have to leave the house by 6.50 this morning.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: They're getting ready, I'm getting ready and I forgot my son's lunch, because last year he got lunches at school and I just haven't set it up yet.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: And so he's packing lunches this week.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And so at 6.50 and I see him get the pan out and I'm like, what are you doing?
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: We have to go.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: And he's like I need my lunch.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh shit.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: So then I'm scrambling to make him his lunch.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: He wanted a grilled cheese.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So we're doing that, we're packing snacks, we're doing all the things.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: We didn't leave the house till seven o'clock, which was fine.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Again, we were.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: We got there on a normal school day and so we're on the way to school.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: And I was like, and we get in the line, and I was like, oh man, you guys are going to be so late again.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: And my son was like, well, whose fault was it?
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: And I was like, why don't we all take responsibility for our own parts in it, right, not project and not blame and not point the finger?
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Like I take responsibility for the fact that I did not pack you lunch, and that is on me.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Why don't you take responsibility for the fact that you waited till the last minute to get dressed?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Because you were in your room hiding and watching the iPad, right, and my daughter was just like in her room waiting for us to shout her name because she gets up at five o'clock in the morning and just gets ready because she does makeup and everything like that.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: So I was like why don't we just like all take responsibility for a part of this?
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: He was like, okay, so it's like being authentic.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: I think in that moment where it would have been easy for me to be like, well, you forgot about your lunch, right, and we're doing the Venus sequence inside your sacred, unraveling membership space and your SQ is your spiritual quotient, which is this space of, like, unconditional love.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Right, when you layer your gene keys profile on the body, the SQ is at the heart, right?
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: So this is literally the heart of the gene keys and it's about unconditional love.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: It's innocence, it's that zero to seven year age range.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: There technically is no shadow associated with it because it is pure innocence.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: But for me, that gate is gate 55.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Gene key 55 is my SQ, my spiritual quotient.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: It's such a beautiful gate and I am understanding the magnitude and significance of it in my life.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: But it's always fun to like revisit these things.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: But so the shadow and typically the shadow of whatever gate you hold in the, in the sphere of your sq.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: That shadow was placed there by someone else and it's not to be victiming about it, it's not to be projecting about it, but because it is that zero to seven year age range, the shadow of that gate typically shows up through conditioning, through the narrative of someone else.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: And so gate 55 shadow is victimization, and the gift and city are in freedom.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: And so it's like, again, this idea of authenticity and I'm going to wrap this into the full moon shortly but this idea of authenticity, it's like what we're all seeking.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Authenticity and authenticity is actually holds a higher frequency than love.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I think it's like 40 times higher than love.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: So when you're being authentic, like it is felt right and again, authenticity is not a polished, perfect, curated version of you, it's all of you in all ways right.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: And so when I think about the shadow of victimization, I see that like I will be honest, I see that a lot in my life, right, even in abusive relationships.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't own my part in it, I accepted bad behavior, I chose to be in that, I chose, you know, like I had no self-worth, and I'm not saying I chose to be abused or I chose to be mistreated Like I don't wish on anyone I think you know that's a whole other conversation but I chose to not see the red flags.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I didn't have self-worth enough to believe that I could be treated better, right and so, but in those moments I very much played the victim.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Well, you're doing this to me, it's your fault, you this, you that I'm the victim, I'm the survivor, I'm this, I'm all these things right.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Like I remember going through therapy and they kept saying that like you're the survivor and something about that didn't sit right.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: And I completely understand, you know, in certain situations, like you are a survivor and that's a very strong thing to have, but there was something about it to me that didn't feel aligned to like my experience or like what I was going through or like the mindset that I wanted to take on, I guess, if that makes sense, but it was very for me.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: You know, now doing this work and now understanding this victim, victimization shadow and what that means, I can see how I always played that in just projecting of like someone else, like well, you're doing this or you would, you're doing that, it's like I'm not perfect, right, and so it's like almost, when you're in that victim mindset, it's kind of like.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: It's almost like you're projecting like a like you're perfect, you're right and everything is everybody else's fault.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: And I always say that to my son, cause he's the, he's the, he's, he's big on projecting, and that's what I always say.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, just take responsibility.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Like it's fine.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: No, nobody's gonna get mad Right, and if they do, that's on more on them than you.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: But I say all that to say that, like owning that, in the example of us going to the car this morning, I could have been like well, you forgot to pack your lunch, or you forgot to remind me, or you decided to make grilled cheese that took too long, or you did this, or you left it for me to like whatever.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: It would have been so easy that victimization, it would have been so easy to do that.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: But like no, let's just take responsibility.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: And so, again, going back to the authenticity piece, it's like having awareness in the moments of when my instinct, my go-to, my pattern, my conditioning is to fall into that, but being able to pause for a second and be like no, I'm going to choose something else.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I'm aware that that's the narrative that wants to come out.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I'm aware that that's the pattern that wants to come out, but I'm going to choose something different.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: And how this really like all wraps up into the full moon is because our full moon is in Aquarius on Saturday, and I love Aquarius.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: It's an air sign, it's a fixed air sign, but I really feel like you know, aquarius holds the archetype of the rebel.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: It wants freedom, it's innovation, it's technology, it's the collective, and I really think Aquarius is rebellious because it's an act of rebellion to be authentic in a world that does not value it.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: And so this full moon is going to be really potent in asking and calling for authenticity.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I was talking about it on social media and somebody commented was like oh well, it's the year of the snake, we're all shedding.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I forgot about that, but it's true, right, we're in the year of the snake.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: This is all about shedding.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: And it's funny because, like, I don't remember what last year was, but last year felt like a coming home to my softening into myself, if that makes sense.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I felt more feminine.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I kind of released the masculine energy a little bit.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I felt more myself in my body.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I stopped going to the gym so intensely.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Actually, I kind of just, I was exhausted for half the year.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: I was managing a restaurant and I was working late but then still having to get up and get the kids to school in the morning.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: My mental health really, really suffered last year because I wasn't getting enough sleep and I was always tired and um.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: But at the same time I felt like a softening into myself and acceptance of myself and, uh, a clearer vision of, like, what I valued and what I wanted with my life.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: And this year definitely definitely feels like a shedding, like a massive shedding.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: It's crazy, but it is like coming to this piece of authenticity.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Right, brene Brown says authenticity, and I'm rating this because I don't want to get it wrong.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are right and embracing who we are right.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Authenticity is not fixed.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Right, it's fluid.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: We're constantly changing.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Think about the moon and our emotions.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Right, it's honoring who you are.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: And I will add on to that what I feel like my lesson lately too has been, is like noticing through these daily meditations that I've been doing right through tuning into my body, I've always been very body aware, like hyper aware of my body, but like really noticing when, like, let's say, when those patterns come up or when somebody wants to do something and I actually don't want to, really noticing in my body that the resistance and the ease.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: And there was a practice in I believe it was the heart mass solution book that I'm reading, and it's literally just a check at the end of the day.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: And I highly recommend this if you're still trying to tune into your body, just to check at the end of the day what was energy giving and what took energy from you.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Because when you really start to tune into your body, right, like let me read this quote again Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: So again, there's so many patterns and narratives that we've taken on that we think we are that person and you will know when it is a conditioned response, when it is a pattern, when it is an outdated narrative.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Because if you really tune into your body, your body will tell you right, it's all energy, it's all frequency.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Our body holds the answers, our body holds the score.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Our emotions when we think they're random, our emotions are spirit speaking through us.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Now I think that we need to regulate our emotions right.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: If they're getting completely out of hand, that's one thing.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: If they're ruling your life and you can't function because you're just like overly in your mind and in your emotions, and that's also something that we need to pay attention to and work on.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: And you know, over the last I guess, like month, right, that I've been like really like doing these daily meditations twice a day.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: That has been the most amazing thing for me is just having these practices that regulate me and I just feel so calm and able to.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: In moments where I feel like there's one person in my life that I often get really emotional around, right, or when they say things, I really take it personally.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: You know, energetics it's whatever, it is what it is.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: And I noticed the last time this person said something, I noticed myself taking it personally and I was like, okay, I have no idea if that's what they meant by that, right, like I noticed myself telling myself the story about what that comment meant, right, and then I just had to remember like the four agreements is something I tell myself all the time Assume nothing, take nothing personally, do your best.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: And oh my gosh, what is the last one?
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Assume nothing, take nothing personally.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Do your own.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Be impeccable with your words.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: And so it's because I'm hooked on to a specific narrative that I have no idea if that is actually their narrative.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: They actually said something incredibly kind and I felt rejected, like because I had this looping story that well, if you, if you, if you cared and if you wanted to show up for me the way I want you to show up for me, you would have said this and instead you said that.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: So it feels like you're rejecting what I.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: So it's just like I noticed that happening and I had to like giggle about it and I just breathe into my heart and I let it go.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I was like that's just silly, like this person's actually being incredibly kind right now, can I?
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I just take the compliment Like why do I have to make it this whole big story about them not wanting me or rejecting a part of me or like whatever?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: So it is unhooking from these in in that moment, me honoring that I was triggered, me honoring that feeling and then like working through it.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: That to me, felt authentic and I felt like so much better after that in that situation, right?
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: So it's like noticing the parts of you that are the conditioned responses, the patterns, the pieces that aren't yours, right?
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Who you think you're supposed to be like is this.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: This is why Venus has been doing so much lately, specifically last week, right?
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: But Venus is going to be conjunct, jupiter in Cancer on the 12th and this is a huge opportunity to be doing this work Because, like, really getting clear on your values, like is this yours or is this someone else's?
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: And that's so much of what, like, these transits are going to be like.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: The full moon is happening again on Saturday, the 9th, at 2 55 am, central standard time in aquarius.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: The sun is in leo.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Mercury is in leo.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Mercury is opposite pluto, so this is like mercury is retrograde in leo, asking us to be our most most authentic, creative, expressive self.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Gemini, or sorry, uranus, is early stages, like one, like, literally, the amount of planets right now.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: Let me pull it up, I had this pulled up on my phone the amount of planets that are at early degrees of their sign right now Pluto two degrees.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Saturn, neptune one degree of Aries.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: We have Uranus one degree of Gemries.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: We have uranus one degree of gemini.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: We have mercury four degrees of leo, we have mars, one degree of libra.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Like it's crazy, these early degrees are like beginning phases, initiatory phases.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: There's so much energy right now like I just feel like timeline like shattering.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: There's so much opportunity.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Right now it's like who?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Who are you really?
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Let go like get so clear and in your body about the bullshit that's not actually yours.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Who are you right?
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Who are you expected to be?
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Are you behaving because you think that's who you're supposed to be right?
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: Like I said something earlier about like not being not feeling successful, but it's like whose standard of success am I comparing myself to?
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: Like I zero doubt in my mind I'm going to get where I want to be.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I've done the work, I've put in the time.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: I continue to show up like I'm doing.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I'm air quitting, I'm doing all the things, and so I have no doubt that, because I'm so passionate about it, I continue to show up for it.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Like I have no doubt I'm going to be successful in my version of that.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: For it, like I have no doubt I'm going to be successful in my version of that.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: But in the grand scheme of life, when, if I want to be the victim right and like break it down to like the actual facts.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I'm air quoting all of this.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: If you're not watching on YouTube, you're just listening to it.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Like no, I'm not successful according to someone else's standard of success.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: And, of course, there are parts of my life that I don't feel successful in right now.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to sit here and be like I'm perfect and my life is so successful.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: No, like there are so many things that I still want to accomplish.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: But the thing like I was about to slap my hands but I was like that would be really loud.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Obviously I'm getting heated about this.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: But the thing it's like can I be okay with being me, with being who I am and what stage I am in my life in my current circumstances?
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: That would be so easy sometimes to play the victim and to be woe is me and just like feel like shit about it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Like the last month that I've been meditating I'm going to keep saying it that I've been like actually implementing twice a day these meditations like has changed my internal world.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: To be like, okay, I don't need to sit here and shame myself for not being this yet.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Like I'm actually okay with myself, right, and like, again noticing when I have moments of bitterness and jealousy and resentment and like whatever, and being able to like, breathe in and like, just loosen it up a little bit and like, okay, that's me being authentic right now, right, like that might be somebody else's narrative, but I'm creating awareness around it, right.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: And so, with all of this happening especially, there's a grand trine between Uranus, mars and Pluto, like we're changing the way that we're thinking.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Pluto is like, again, uranus in Gemini is going to radically change the way that we perceive, because your thoughts, your perception is your reality, right?
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: So it's like Uranus is going to radically change the way that we perceive things and it's going to radically change our realities, whatever that means for you.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Trines are supportive.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: But this grand trine, right, pluto and Aquarius this is like again, authenticity, right, freedom, innovation.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Like we can only be these things and bring these things out to the world when we're truly being authentic.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And that means like.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And that means like not caring what other people think or say, like we have to cut out the noise if we want to like put it out there.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: But the thing with Pluto is Pluto is a slow moving planet and so what it does is anything that's not meant to be.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: So if we're looking for authenticity, any piece of you that's not authentic, just slowly, over the course of Pluto being an Aquarius, it's going to make it more and more uncomfortable that you can't ignore it, right.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: And Mars and Libra.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Like Mars doesn't like to be in Libra, mars rules Aries, so it's this fiery.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: You know, mars is like our immature expression I always think about, like the toddler kind of just like pulling a fit, saying what it wants.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: It doesn't get its way and it's like blah.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Libra is so focused on relationships, right, and so I think there's, you know, beauty and shadow in everything.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: So I think the beautiful thing about this is it might make us feel a little bit more passionate about our relationships, maybe more focused on doing the work in our relationships, but of course, we might also find us being more passive, aggressive in our relationships, maybe feeling stagnant in our relationships.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: So this is all supporting us in like these areas to like anchor in and just be like, okay, what's not working, where do I need to realign my values?
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: Like what, what's shift is happening in my mind?
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Like how am I changing the way I'm perceiving things?
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Like what parts of me aren't working?
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Like, just like really shedding and releasing that, and I think that's just such an important piece to like all of this right Again.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Like Pluto and Aquarius, I feel like, too, there is this also piece of like again, because Aquarius represents the collective as well, like individual versus the collective.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: So it's like, again going back to that piece of like, is this mine, is this my standard, is this who I am, or is this something I've outsourced?
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Or is this something that's been expected of me, right?
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Uranus and Gemini is disrupting the way that we think, right, are you going to let yourself evolve with it or are we going to like contract into, like these little beliefs, right?
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: And then again that Mars and Libra.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: It's like actions, boundaries Are they aligned?
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: And, of course, libra is always focused on relationships, right?
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Neptune and Saturn delusion, dreams, boundaries, structure all in Aries Like.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: This is such a powerful time in the astrology, and so it's like get curious, right, like when these things come up for you, when these, if you start noticing, like if you start doing the journaling at night, the what's giving you energy, what's taking away energy, if you just start noticing in every day when something feels restrictive or not good, instead of jumping to shame or to blame or to guilt, like, those might naturally be the first things that come up.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: But like, maybe stop and get curious, right, get curious about where it's coming from again, being in your body, allowing your body to speak right, like, what does the yes feel like?
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: What does the no feel like?
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: What does something fear-based feel like?
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: What does something love based feel like?
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: What is self-sabotaging Like?
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I notice that all the time.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: When I'm self-sabotaging now and I know it's self-sabotaging because it feels so familiar, it's like it's uncomfortable but it feels like home, if that makes sense.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Where it's like, okay, well, it's just easy to avoid, you know, because like and then I can make 10 000 excuses right, where it's actually like, facing the fear and stepping through it and richard rudd talks about with the sq in the in the venus sequence, it's like chasing your bliss, he says, isn't what we think that it is or what it sounds like.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Chasing your bliss is actually going through the suffering to transmute that, to come out on the other side in joy, in bliss.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Chasing your bliss means going through the fear and discomfort because the thing on the other side of that is actually the thing that you want.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: There's always a shadow held in something we really want.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: There's always a narrative or some reason why we shouldn't or couldn't or can't, or we're not capable or whatever it is.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: But, like you know, when that thing is that like that you really want to do.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: And I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about like their greatest gifts and like how they knew to like cultivate it and like how you step into that energy.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: And there's two pieces of this that I want to say.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I think that oftentimes our gifts are so natural to us that we don't see them as gifts.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Like, if you think about human design and think about your defined centers, we really don't like focus on that that often because it's so innate within us, right, like for me, I have a defined throat and there's so much in my charts and my astrology and everything that has to do with like my voice and speaking and being authentic in that way.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: And also that is what I've held the biggest shadow around my entire life.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: When I said something, I felt like I was wrong, I said the wrong thing, I didn't say enough things, I was too quiet, I was too this, I was too that, but it always rooted down to my throat.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: I remember being in I was.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I remember being in an abusive relationship and like the inability to speak because it actually wasn't safe for me to speak, like I like my throat literally would hurt.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I can feel it like physically when someone says something and I want to respond and I don't, I can feel it's just it gets trapped here energetically.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: I can feel it Right.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: And so, like, this podcast healed me in so many ways.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Social media in that sense of like making content, showing up, speaking my voice, coaching people, being a teacher, like those have healed me in so many ways that I can't even explain, because my voice was my biggest shadow throughout my entire life and I've learned it's one of my biggest gifts, right, using it.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: But what I feel like the shadow taught me was to listen right, because, like listening, active listening, it's not just about talking, right, it's about active listening so I can hear, hear what people say, and I think that gives me a superpower, right.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: And so, again, it's like I don't know where that kind of went from, but I don't know if I can't remember if I was talking about Uranus or something, but anyway, being in that authenticity of like, yeah, noticing what your gifts are, because oftentimes they are so natural that you don't notice them Like they're just, they are what they are.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: And also, a lot of our gifts come through.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's what I was talking about, the Venus sequence.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Some of our gifts come through like immense pain and shadow and suffering.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: And the other thing that I loved that he said when he was talking about following your bliss.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: He said ecstasy is sadness and joy, making love inside of us, and I love that.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I love it Because, like, when you think about creativity, right, creativity like pure, whether it's painting, whether it's drawing, poems, movie, like dancing, something like art and creativity often come from out of a place of melancholy, right, and it's this place where sadness has festered and joy comes in and we're coming out the other side of it.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: That's where I find like I'm most creative is when I'm coming out of a low and it just feels like I feel a full body, like my spirit and my soul are in it, right, and so, like that's the beauty of like creativity is like coming from that place, right, and you know, the last piece around this, too, is like, sometimes, when we want something, we're resisting it because it's like I need to be authentic, I need to be myself.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: But it's like, if you just like, release that and surrender which I know is such a hard word sometimes but surrender and just like, let it be right, like it's not always going to be pretty, it's not always going to be curated, it's not always going to be perfect Right, it's messy, it's chaotic, but it's also beautiful.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Like authenticity is magnetic.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: So I just feel like that's so much of what the lesson is this week I mean more than this week, but with this full moon, these are like really great reflections and if you want to join, I'm doing a full moon call August, at Thursday, when this episode comes out.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: So, if you're listening to this before 1 PM central standard time, dm me on Instagram uh, tiktok, wherever you find me and join us.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Um, or join your sacred unraveling.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: The calls are part of your sacred unraveling.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: You can join that or you can do a one-off full moon call.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: But the questions that I would leave you with, just in reflection of everything, like all this authenticity that we're talking about, where are you not being honest with yourself?
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Right, like, where are you being honest and where are you not being honest?
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: What are you afraid of, like?
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: What are you afraid of what people will think of you, especially those shadow parts, right?
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Like what keeps you from accepting it from yourself?
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Is it what people would think about you?
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: Where are you being performative and where are you actually being authentic?
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: So that is.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I have more to say, but we're gonna, we're gonna leave it here.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: So if you've listened, I appreciate it so much, let me know on Instagram what you thought, share.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Don't forget to tag me, follow me on Instagram If you don't follow me over there.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: It's at Rochelle Christian.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: It's R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E dot.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n-e.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Tiktok is the same Website RochelleChristiancom.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: You can find me on YouTube, substack.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Everything you need to know is down in the show notes and I hope this was supportive and will help you move through some of the energy that's coming up around this full moon and will help you move through some of the energy that's coming up around this full moon.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and meditate, meditate.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: I put off for the longest time to like actually make it part of my daily practice, and I was listening to or I was on a, I was scrolling, scrolling on Instagram, but I saw this interview.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I can't remember who the interviewee was, but he was interviewing young Pueblo, young Pablo, and he was asking him something about relationships.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: He was like, do you subscribe to the whole thing Like, or do you subscribe to the like?
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: Love isn't enough thing?
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: And he was talking about him and his wife.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Long story short.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: He was like we were just like always pulled towards each other, but we would have to take breaks.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: And it was like oil and water, right.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: And he was like that.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: He was like I finally resigned to the fact that, like, I love this woman so much that I was just going to be with her and be miserable because, like, we could not, we didn't have the skills to like, actually the skills and the tools to move through it.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: But he said, when they started meditating, it like changed the game for them.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: And what I'm noticing too, just like, like I said, my mental health, my emotional health, like all of it I feel so much more grounded.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: Um, since I've been meditating, like, implementing the tools, and you know, I don't know if it's 21 days to build a habit or 60 days, there's different things that have different things, but something like that and it's definitely becoming a routine habit.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: So, anyway, again, I hope this episode is helpful.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Follow me in all the places, all the ways you can work with me, all the stuff.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: Everything you need to know is down in the show notes.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Um, I appreciate you so much for being here, for listening, whether you're listening to this on youtube or on spotify, apple, wherever.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: Um, I appreciate it and I'll be back next week with another episode for you.