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Light In The Dark: The Things You Never Said · Unlocking The Paradigm Portal

• 0:00
  Hey, it's Sarah. I'm really glad that you are
• 0:04
  back here with me tonight. And as always, I want to remind
• 0:08
  you to think of my voice as a Lantern, just not fixing
• 0:13
  anything or telling you what to do.
• 0:15
  I'm just here to light the next few steps ahead of you so you
• 0:19
  don't have to sit alone in the dark.
• 0:23
  I want to talk about something tonight that I think might
• 0:25
  already be sitting with you. The things you never said, not
• 0:31
  the things you regret doing, not the choices you made or didn't
• 0:35
  make, but the words. The ones that lived right there,
• 0:40
  right in your chest, and never made it out.
• 0:44
  I know that you know what I mean.
• 0:48
  And maybe it's something you needed to say to someone who's
• 0:51
  gone now and the window closed, and you didn't even realize it
• 0:56
  was closing until it was already shut, and now those words have
• 1:01
  nowhere to go, so they just stay in the quiet in the middle of
• 1:07
  the night right about now. Or maybe it's something you
• 1:13
  needed to say to someone who's still here, still in your life,
• 1:18
  and you've looked for the opening 100 times and something
• 1:22
  always gets in the way. Maybe it's the timing, or the
• 1:25
  fear, or not knowing how they'll receive it and then not knowing
• 1:30
  if saying it out loud will change everything.
• 1:34
  Or what if it changes nothing and somehow the not knowing it
• 1:40
  might feel safer than finding out.
• 1:44
  So take a breath with me for a second.
• 1:46
  We're just going to slow down and let all of that sink in.
• 1:51
  So breathe in and hold it and then exhale.
• 2:03
  Yep, there it is. Did you feel that when you could
• 2:07
  connect back to yourself, your whole nervous system just took a
• 2:12
  pause and slowed down? So I want you to know something.
• 2:18
  The fact that those words are still in you, that they haven't
• 2:22
  dissolved or faded or stopped mattering, that's not weakness.
• 2:27
  That's not you being stuck. That's evidence of how deeply
• 2:32
  you feel and how much that person, that moment, that
• 2:37
  version of things mattered to you.
• 2:41
  You don't carry things for this long that don't mean something.
• 2:47
  And I know it can feel like carrying it means you're failing
• 2:50
  somehow. Like you should have said it by
• 2:52
  now. You should be over it.
• 2:54
  You should have found the words or found the courage or found
• 2:57
  the moment. And maybe some part of you is
• 3:00
  angry at yourself for not saying it when you had the chance.
• 3:04
  And I hear that. But I also want to gently offer
• 3:09
  you this. You were doing the best you
• 3:12
  could with what you had in that moment.
• 3:15
  You weren't withholding out of cruelty, you were protecting
• 3:19
  something. Maybe yourself, maybe them,
• 3:23
  maybe the relationship, maybe all three.
• 3:28
  So sometimes the unsaid things are the most honest ones, and
• 3:32
  the ones we couldn't dress up or soften or make palatable.
• 3:37
  The raw ones, the real ones, the ones that would have come out
• 3:42
  all wrong if we'd forced them, and so they stayed inside where
• 3:46
  at least they were still true. And there's something nobody
• 3:51
  tells you about the things that are left unsaid.
• 3:55
  They don't actually disappear. They become part of you.
• 3:59
  They fold themselves into the way that you love people, into
• 4:04
  the way that you hold back sometimes, or the way that you
• 4:07
  reach towards someone and then pull your hand back at the last
• 4:10
  second, or the way sometimes you watch a moment pass and feel it
• 4:16
  go, but you don't stop it. Those unsaid things shaped you,
• 4:22
  and they're in there, and that's OK.
• 4:26
  So if the person is gone, if that window is closed, I want
• 4:30
  you to know that the love behind those words didn't go anywhere.
• 4:35
  It's still yours and it still counts.
• 4:39
  What you felt was real, whether it was ever spoken or not.
• 4:44
  You don't need the other person to receive it for it to have
• 4:47
  been true. And if the person is still here,
• 4:52
  if those words are still waiting, I'm not going to tell
• 4:55
  you to say them tonight. That's not why I'm here.
• 4:59
  That's your decision to make. I'm just here to sit with you in
• 5:02
  the weight of them, to tell you that the wait makes sense and
• 5:07
  that you're not strange for feeling it.
• 5:10
  That a lot of people, more than you'd ever guess, are lying
• 5:14
  awake tonight with something just like this living in their
• 5:18
  chest. You're not alone in this.
• 5:22
  So if tonight is one of those nights where it's loud and quiet
• 5:26
  at the same time, or where the world is asleep and your mind
• 5:30
  won't stop replaying what you didn't say, I just want you to
• 5:34
  know that I see it and I see you holding it.
• 5:38
  And I think it's one of the most human things that there is to
• 5:42
  love. Something enough that the words
• 5:45
  for it almost don't fit. So I'm going to pause here, and
• 5:51
  I'm going to leave the Lantern right here next to you.
• 5:54
  So the light keeps going as long as you need it tonight, and I'll
• 5:58
  be back. And until then, you're not alone
• 6:02
  in the dark.