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Transcript

RumpleTaleSpin (Classic) | Rumpelstiltskin Fairy Tale Retold | Stories for Kids · Dorktales Storytime | Stories for Kids Who Love Big Adventures

• 0:01
  Jonathan: Hello, Dork Squad.
• 0:02
  Jonathan: I'm Jonathan Cormur, and you're listening to Dork Tales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture-loving grown-ups.
• 0:14
  Theme Song: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory, new friends and old ones too.
• 0:21
  Theme Song: It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale you.
• 0:34
  Jonathan: Hello there!
• 0:36
  Redge: Salutations!
• 0:38
  Jonathan: Yes, Redge and I are back with you to share another of our favorite stories.
• 0:43
  Jonathan: Yes, we've returned to tell another tumultuous and turbulent tale.
• 0:48
  Jonathan: Right.
• 0:49
  Jonathan: Now, Redge, you're not going to poke holes in everything I say again, are you?
• 0:54
  Redge: Why, Jonathan, I cannot promise that.
• 0:57
  Redge: You see, I am a hedgehog.
• 0:59
  Redge: Poking holes is what I do.
• 1:02
  Jonathan: Okay, but
• 1:03
  Redge: it's in my nature.
• 1:04
  Redge: I can feel it in my quills.
• 1:06
  Redge: It is my modus operandi.
• 1:09
  Redge: I must always
• 1:10
  Jonathan: Redge Can I continue with the story?
• 1:14
  Redge: Of course.
• 1:15
  Redge: Okay.
• 1:16
  Jonathan: This is the story of Rumpel Stilskin.
• 1:20
  Redge: Excuse me.
• 1:21
  Redge: What?
• 1:23
  Jonathan: What?
• 1:24
  Redge: What is the fellow's name?
• 1:26
  Jonathan: Rumpel Stiltskin.
• 1:28
  Redge: That's preposterous!
• 1:30
  Jonathan: That's his name.
• 1:36
  Redge: What kind of ludicrous name is Rump?
• 1:39
  Jonathan: el, Stilskin.
• 1:40
  Redge: You do know what rump means, don't you?
• 1:45
  Jonathan: Redge.
• 1:46
  Redge: Rump means buttocks.
• 1:54
  Jonathan: Are you finished?
• 1:55
  Redge: Wait, wait, wait, wa one moment.
• 1:57
  Redge: Okay, I'm finished.
• 2:05
  Jonathan: Great.
• 2:05
  Jonathan: Let's just get on with the story, shall we?
• 2:08
  Redge: We shall.
• 2:10
  Jonathan: There once was a miller who liked to tell tall tales.
• 2:14
  Redge: Just one second.
• 2:15
  Redge: What's a Miller?
• 2:18
  Miller: I'm a miller.
• 2:19
  Miller: I grind grain in my mill to make flour.
• 2:22
  Jonathan: Well, that's what you do for a living, but this story actually involves your beautiful daughter.
• 2:28
  Miller: Yeah, well, she is beautiful.
• 2:31
  Miller: But she's also smart and creative and very funny.
• 2:36
  Jonathan: You're right.
• 2:37
  Jonathan: Not sure why the original story never mentioned those important qualities.
• 2:41
  Jonathan: Uh continuing.
• 2:42
  Jonathan: One day, the miller was out and about
• 2:45
  Redge: about what?
• 2:46
  Miller: I was out
• 2:48
  Jonathan: and?
• 2:49
  Miller: I milled about.
• 2:52
  Jonathan: And who did you see?
• 2:55
  Miller: Well, I came across the king and I told him a tale.
• 2:59
  Jonathan: That's right.
• 3:00
  Jonathan: A tall tale.
• 3:01
  Jonathan: The miller sugarcoated the truth and baked up some malarkey.
• 3:06
  Jonathan: He told the king that his daughter could spin straw into gold.
• 3:10
  Jonathan: So of course the king was impressed.
• 3:14
  King: Spinning straw into gold?
• 3:16
  King: Ho ho ho ho! Now that's delightful.
• 3:20
  King: Bring her to my palace tomorrow.
• 3:23
  King: I must put her to the test.
• 3:27
  Jonathan: So the next day, the miller and his daughter headed to the palace, and the daughter,
• 3:32
  Miller: she has a name.
• 3:34
  Redge: Yes, that would make sense.
• 3:36
  Redge: But you don't even have a name.
• 3:38
  Miller: I do.
• 3:39
  Redge: The miller?
• 3:41
  Miller: I'm called Humbert.
• 3:43
  Jonathan: Would you like me to call you uh Humbert from now on?
• 3:46
  Miller: Nah, Miller's fine.
• 3:48
  Miller: But my daughter's name was Daphne.
• 3:51
  Jonathan: All right, my apologies to Daphne.
• 3:54
  Jonathan: So Daphne and the Miller were at the castle, and a guard led Daphne into a huge round room.
• 4:01
  Jonathan: It was floor to ceiling filled with bales of hay, and in the middle of the room was a spinning wheel, and the king said,
• 4:09
  King: Get to work, Daphne! And if by tomorrow you haven't spun this straw into gold, the punishment will be death.
• 4:21
  Redge: Excuse me, just a moment.
• 4:23
  Jonathan: What is it now, Redge?
• 4:25
  Redge: It don't you think that's a little extreme?
• 4:29
  Jonathan: Well, yes, but kings didn't have much to worry about back then.
• 4:34
  Jonathan: They could throw fits over the slightest disturbance.
• 4:37
  Jonathan: A tapestry askew, a pastry too jammy, lying about turning straw into gold, whatever it was, it was off with their heads.
• 4:47
  Jonathan: So, needless to say, once he shut and locked the doors to the room, and Daphne could hear the king yelling about old pecans and his scone, she burst into tears.
• 5:00
  Daphne: Oh my goodness, how will I ever do this?
• 5:04
  Jonathan: Daphne had never spun straw into anything.
• 5:07
  Jonathan: She didn't know where to start.
• 5:09
  Jonathan: As she buried her head in her hands, Daphne heard a creak.
• 5:13
  Jonathan: As the large doors to the straw-filled room opened a crack.
• 5:18
  Jonathan: To her surprise, a small man in a pointy hat and pointy shoes with a long pointy beard came through.
• 5:27
  Redge: Ooh, a lawn gnome!
• 5:29
  Jonathan: No, not a lawn gnome.
• 5:31
  Jonathan: Though I have to admit he is described similarly.
• 5:34
  Jonathan: Anyway, the tiny man entered the room, took off his pointed hat, and headed toward Daphne.
• 5:40
  Rumpelstiltskin: Good evening, Miller's daughter.
• 5:43
  Rumpelstiltskin: Why are you crying so dear?
• 5:47
  Rumpelstiltskin: You'll get the straw all wet
• 5:52
  Daphne: Oh, I have to spin all the straw to gold by tomorrow.
• 5:57
  Daphne: I don't know how to do it, and the king will kill me if I don't.
• 6:02
  Jonathan: The little man took big steps around the room, looking the bales of hay up and down and stroking his beard.
• 6:11
  Rumpelstiltskin: What will you give me if I do this for you, dearie?
• 6:16
  Daphne: Give you?
• 6:17
  Rumpelstiltskin: I t must be something special to you.
• 6:23
  Daphne: Why I guess I've got my necklace.
• 6:27
  Daphne: My mother gave it to me.
• 6:29
  Jonathan: As soon as the words left her lips, the little man snatched her necklace.
• 6:33
  Jonathan: It was immediately out of sight.
• 6:35
  Jonathan: He shooed her from the spinning wheel, took her seat in front, and began to spin the straw.
• 6:40
  Jonathan: And the first reel was full.
• 6:48
  Jonathan: Daphne saw it herself.
• 6:49
  Jonathan: The man had spun a golden thread from pure straw.
• 6:54
  Redge: Hmm, I can't really put a hedgehog pawn on why.
• 6:57
  Redge: But I've got to meet this man.
• 7:01
  Jonathan: Yeah, so Daphne was delighted.
• 7:05
  Daphne: Oh, I'm so delighted.
• 7:07
  Daphne: She settled into a bale of straw in the corner and let the little man work.
• 7:12
  Daphne: He spun the wheel, and each time the reel ended up full of pure gold thread.
• 7:20
  Daphne: By the time Daphne awoke, the little man had vanished, and the reels were completely full of gold thread.
• 7:27
  Daphne: The king was delighted.
• 7:30
  King: My stars! The lying miller was right.
• 7:34
  Miller: Hey, I'm no liar.
• 7:36
  Jonathan: Sorry, Miller, it's what the king said.
• 7:39
  Redge: You weren't told Daphne's name, but somehow you know the king called the miller a liar?
• 7:45
  Jonathan: Well, yes.
• 7:48
  Redge: Absurd.
• 7:50
  Jonathan: Anyway, the king may have been delighted, but he was also hankering for some more gold.
• 7:56
  Jonathan: He took Daphne by the hand and led her to a new room down the hall.
• 8:01
  Jonathan: This room was twice the size of the first room, and was filled with twice the amount of straw.
• 8:07
  King: Now spin this room's straw into gold by tomorrow.
• 8:12
  King: If you truly care about your life, you'll do it again.
• 8:16
  Jonathan: But as soon as he stepped out and she could hear the click of the lock, Daphne burst into tears.
• 8:23
  Daphne: Just my luck.
• 8:25
  Jonathan: The door to the room opened a crack, and there was the little man again.
• 8:31
  Rumpelstiltskin: Hello, dearie.
• 8:33
  Rumpelstiltskin: What will you give me if I spin all this straw into gold for you?
• 8:41
  Jonathan: Daphne thought for a moment.
• 8:44
  Daphne: Um the ring on my finger?
• 8:48
  Jonathan: So the little man took the ring from Daphne's finger and made it disappear into an unseen pocket in his vest.
• 8:54
  Jonathan: He began to work while Daphne closed her eyes.
• 8:57
  Jonathan: When she awoke, the room was filled with golden thread.
• 9:07
  Redge: She's sleeping through everything.
• 9:10
  Jonathan: But the king isn't.
• 9:11
  Jonathan: As you'd probably expect, he took one look at that room and was over the moon.
• 9:16
  King: Again, I'm delighted
• 9:20
  Daphne: Great Now may I go home?
• 9:24
  King: No
• 9:27
  Redge: Nope
• 9:29
  Jonathan: No
• 9:30
  Daphne: But you said if I
• 9:32
  King: a but a but I want more gold.
• 9:35
  King: You haven't spun enough.
• 9:37
  King: Follow me
• 9:40
  Jonathan: So Daphne followed the king out of the second room, down the hallway.
• 9:45
  Redge: Oh I can see where this is going.
• 9:48
  Jonathan: Oh can you?
• 9:49
  Redge: Yes.
• 9:50
  Redge: They walked down the passageway to a larger room, didn't they?
• 9:54
  Jonathan: Oh they went to a larger room down the hallway.
• 9:58
  Redge: By George, I knew it! I'm telling the story now.
• 10:02
  Jonathan: Way to go, Redge
• 10:04
  Redge: Do you mean that?
• 10:06
  Jonathan: Not really, because narrating is my job.
• 10:09
  Redge: Oh right oh.
• 10:11
  Redge: I'll stick with the hedgehog stuff.
• 10:14
  Jonathan: Thank you.
• 10:15
  Jonathan: So the king led Daphne down the hall to the largest room she had seen in the palace thus far.
• 10:21
  Jonathan: It was filled floor to ceiling with
• 10:24
  Redge: straw again.
• 10:26
  Redge: My goodness, the king was greedy.
• 10:30
  Jonathan: But Redge, you just said you wanted a room full of gold-filled reels too.
• 10:35
  Redge: It's the smallest room, mind you.
• 10:38
  Redge: I am just a little hedgehog after all.
• 10:41
  Jonathan: Okay, fine, but now the king and Daphne were in the largest room full of straw.
• 10:47
  King: Daphne, here comes the final phase of your test.
• 10:52
  Daphne: The final phase?
• 10:54
  King: Yes.
• 10:55
  King: Tonight you will spin all this straw into gold, and when you're through, I will be the richest king in the land, and you will be my queen.
• 11:10
  Redge: What?
• 11:12
  Jonathan: Yes, Redge.
• 11:13
  Jonathan: The king told Daphne if she spun the straw into gold for the third time, she'd be his queen.
• 11:20
  Jonathan: Are you really surprised?
• 11:22
  Jonathan: Redge?
• 11:23
  Jonathan: Are you okay?
• 11:29
  Redge: I'm trying my best not to poke holes!
• 11:37
  Jonathan: Oh, Redge, just do it.
• 11:39
  Redge: How are they getting married?
• 11:41
  Redge: They don't even know each other, let alone love each other.
• 11:44
  Redge: They've spoken, what, three, maybe four times, all about spinning straw into gold! This is preposterous.
• 11:53
  Jonathan: Well, don't you think Daphne would want to be queen?
• 11:55
  Redge: And furthermore Say what now?
• 11:58
  Jonathan: Well, I can envision a mutually beneficial partnership between the two of them.
• 12:03
  Jonathan: Only if Daphne could spin the third room of straw into gold.
• 12:07
  Jonathan: But
• 12:10
  Redge: she didn't know how,
• 12:11
  Jonathan: Exactly.
• 12:12
  Jonathan: So as soon as the king left, the lock turned in the door with a click, and his footsteps disappeared down the hall
• 12:20
  Redge: she burst into tears!
• 12:23
  Jonathan: Well, maybe you should tell the story now, Redge.
• 12:26
  Redge: Ugh.
• 12:26
  Redge: No, thank you very much.
• 12:28
  Redge: You are the narrator.
• 12:30
  Redge: So please go ahead and narrate.
• 12:35
  Jonathan: Daphne burst into tears.
• 12:37
  Daphne: Oh, what shall I do?
• 12:39
  Daphne: Where is that little man when I need him?
• 12:43
  Rumpelstiltskin: Who me?
• 12:48
  Daphne: O h, you're back.
• 12:50
  Daphne: Can you help me once more?
• 12:53
  Rumpelstiltskin: What will you give me, dearie?
• 12:57
  Daphne: Well I already gave you my necklace and my ring.
• 13:02
  Rumpelstiltskin: Yes, but for this job I need my due payment.
• 13:10
  Daphne: Well I don't have anything else.
• 13:14
  Redge: Ooh ooh ooh she could give a lock of her hair or her shoes.
• 13:18
  Redge: Did she have a hat?
• 13:20
  Rumpelstiltskin: It's got to be something of great value to you, dear
• 13:27
  Daphne: When I'm queen, I'll have many things of value.
• 13:31
  Rumpelstiltskin: But to you are those important?
• 13:37
  Daphne: Well not really.
• 13:40
  Rumpelstiltskin: Hmm This is a lot of work.
• 13:44
  Rumpelstiltskin: So I'll need something very important.
• 13:48
  Rumpelstiltskin: Oh I've got it I will spin this room of straw for you so you can become queen.
• 13:58
  Rumpelstiltskin: If you promise to me your firstborn child
• 14:05
  Jonathan: I know you want to say something, Redge.
• 14:07
  Jonathan: I can see your quills trembling.
• 14:10
  Jonathan: Just say it.
• 14:12
  Redge: So instead of money, in this story, we use trinkets, baubles, and babies?
• 14:22
  Jonathan: Yep, that's how the story goes.
• 14:25
  Redge: Wow.
• 14:25
  Redge: I guess I truly am unable to predict the plot of this tale.
• 14:31
  Miller: This tall tale.
• 14:33
  Jonathan: A nyway, Daphne stared at the little man for a second longer than usual.
• 14:38
  Jonathan: Then she eyed her massive piles of straw.
• 14:41
  Jonathan: She needed the straw spun to gold, or else she'd be killed.
• 14:45
  Jonathan: Also, being queen was very appealing.
• 14:48
  Jonathan: Who knows what the future might bring, she thought.
• 14:51
  Jonathan: Daphne was too caught up in her haste.
• 14:54
  Jonathan: She leaned forward and whispered to the little man,
• 14:58
  Daphne: Oh, help me, little man.
• 15:00
  Daphne: You're my only hope.
• 15:06
  Jonathan: And with a delighted squeal, the little man took his seat at the spinning wheel and began to spin.
• 15:12
  Jonathan: And when the morning came, the room was full of gold thread.
• 15:22
  Jonathan: When the king saw all of the gold,
• 15:25
  Redge: he was delighted.
• 15:28
  Jonathan: How'd you know, Redge?
• 15:30
  Redge: Had a hunch.
• 15:31
  Jonathan: Well, he was delighted.
• 15:33
  Jonathan: Everything was as he desired, so he whisked Daphne away, and Daphne became queen.
• 15:40
  Miller: Y eah, good times.
• 15:43
  Jonathan: Oh, you're still here, Miller?
• 15:46
  Miller: Need a fact check.
• 15:47
  Redge: Just no more lying aloud.
• 15:49
  Redge: On with the story.
• 15:51
  Jonathan: A year passed and Daphne, the queen, gave birth to a beautiful baby.
• 15:56
  Jonathan: She was so happy with her new life and as a new mother that the little man never even crossed her mind.
• 16:02
  Jonathan: But one day, just like before, he suddenly showed up.
• 16:07
  Jonathan: Daphne stood between the man and her baby's bassinet.
• 16:12
  Daphne: No, you cannot have my child.
• 16:16
  Rumpelstiltskin: Oh, but you promised.
• 16:18
  Rumpelstiltskin: A deal's a deal, your Majesty
• 16:23
  Daphne: I'll give you anything.
• 16:25
  Daphne: I now have riches beyond compare.
• 16:27
  Daphne: Do you want furs?
• 16:29
  Daphne: Jewels?
• 16:30
  Daphne: Anything you want.
• 16:31
  Daphne: Just don't take my baby.
• 16:34
  Rumpelstiltskin: Hm if it's of great importance to you, it is valuable to me.
• 16:40
  Rumpelstiltskin: Furs and jewels don't matter.
• 16:43
  Rumpelstiltskin: I'm taking your child.
• 16:47
  Jonathan: Ah, but remember, Daphne was beautiful and funny,
• 16:51
  Miller: and also intelligent.
• 16:55
  Jonathan: Yes, Miller, she was very smart.
• 16:58
  Jonathan: She wiped her tears and tried a different angle with the little man.
• 17:03
  Daphne: Um how about a bargain?
• 17:07
  Jonathan: The little man never could turn down a deal.
• 17:10
  Rumpelstiltskin: Hmm Fine.
• 17:12
  Rumpelstiltskin: You have three days.
• 17:15
  Rumpelstiltskin: If you can figure out my name before that time is up, you shall keep your child.
• 17:24
  Jonathan: Daphne thought all night about every name she knew, and when the little man showed up to the nursery the next evening, she tried those.
• 17:34
  Daphne: Could it be Jeremy or Abraham?
• 17:38
  Daphne: Peter or Tyrone?
• 17:40
  Rumpelstiltskin: Not those.
• 17:42
  Redge: Ooh, what fun! Try our names.
• 17:46
  Jonathan: You want me to change the story again?
• 17:48
  Redge: You just try.
• 17:52
  Jonathan: So the Queen tried.
• 17:55
  Daphne: Could it be Jonathan or Reginald?
• 18:00
  Miller: Or Miller
• 18:01
  Jonathan: Oh come on.
• 18:03
  Redge: Hoo I dare say this is funny.
• 18:07
  Rumpelstiltskin: Nope.
• 18:08
  Rumpelstiltskin: None of these is my name.
• 18:11
  Jonathan: And with that the little man left.
• 18:15
  Redge: Aww.
• 18:16
  Jonathan: Queen Daphne had her people comb the streets of the village for all kinds of curious names.
• 18:22
  Daphne: Could your name be banjo, short ribs, pomelo, or spare tire?
• 18:29
  Rumpelstiltskin: No, no, no, and certainly not.
• 18:34
  Jonathan: On the third day, Queen Daphne decided to take matters into her own hands.
• 18:39
  Jonathan: She walked all over town to find any clues to the little man's name.
• 18:43
  Jonathan: She was just about to give up when she noticed a small plume of smoke coming from the woods.
• 18:50
  Jonathan: When she approached, she saw the little man singing and dancing around a fire pit in front of a little cabin.
• 18:57
  Rumpelstiltskin: Tonight, to night my plans I make.
• 19:00
  Rumpelstiltskin: The queen will never win the game, for Rumpelstilskin is my name.
• 19:12
  Daphne: Rumpelstiltskin?
• 19:14
  Daphne: What an odd name.
• 19:16
  Redge: You said it.
• 19:18
  Jonathan: And that evening, when the little man came to Queen Daphne's nursery to collect her child, she tried guessing his name again.
• 19:27
  Daphne: So you're sure your name isn't Mordor?
• 19:32
  Rumpelstiltskin: No.
• 19:33
  Daphne: How about Maleficent?
• 19:36
  Rumpelstiltskin: Nope.
• 19:37
  Daphne: Baby Yoda?
• 19:39
  Rumpelstiltskin: Wrong again, dear Now give me your child.
• 19:47
  Rumpelstiltskin: He lunged for the baby's bassinet.
• 19:51
  Daphne: Wait, is it possible?
• 19:53
  Daphne: Your name is Rumpel Stiltskin?
• 20:00
  Jonathan: The little man stopped mid-lunge.
• 20:03
  Jonathan: He turned beat red, began stamping his feet and screaming.
• 20:08
  Rumpelstiltskin: No, no, no! You tricked me! I just know you did!
• 20:15
  Jonathan: Rumpel Stiltskin was so upset he continued to shout and stamp his feet in protest.
• 20:22
  Rumpelstiltskin: Oh look what you've done! I'm melting! I'm melting! Oh the world, what a world! I'm melting just kidding.
• 20:39
  Rumpelstiltskin: Toodles
• 20:41
  Jonathan: And with one big poof of smoke he was gone.
• 20:46
  Miller: I like that story.
• 20:49
  Redge: Of course you do.
• 20:50
  Redge: It was your story.
• 20:53
  Miller: Ah, it was more Daphne's.
• 20:56
  Redge: And your lies.
• 20:58
  Miller: Excuse me.
• 20:59
  Miller: My tall tales.
• 21:02
  Jonathan: Let's wrap this up, shall we?
• 21:04
  Jonathan: And so Queen Daphne and her child lived happily ever after.
• 21:10
  Jonathan: Well, Reg, story's over.
• 21:12
  Jonathan: Got any more holes to poke?
• 21:16
  Redge: Just one.
• 21:16
  Redge: Yes.
• 21:18
  Redge: Was his name really Rump?
• 21:25
  Jonathan: els stilt skin.
• 21:30
  Redge: Oh, that's hilarious.
• 21:36
  Jonathan: Well, nothing left to be said, but the end.
• 21:40
  Redge: The end You said end?
• 21:43
  Redge: That's like rump.
• 22:00
  Jonathan: This has been a Jon in Character production.
• 22:02
  Jonathan: Today's story was written by Amy Thompson, edited by Molly Murphy, and performed by Jonathan Cormer.
• 22:09
  Jonathan: Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studios.
• 22:13
  Jonathan: Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at dorktalesstorytime at gmail.com.
• 22:19
  Jonathan: Find links in the show notes or go to dorktalestorytime.com.
• 22:24
  Jonathan: Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you next once upon a time.
• 22:34
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• 22:45
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• 22:49
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• 23:00
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