Latest / Reclaiming Consciousness / Breaking Hidden Ancestral Patterns with Kat Daou

Transcript

Breaking Hidden Ancestral Patterns with Kat Daou · Reclaiming Consciousness

0:00
SPEAKER_00: For me, spirituality pulled me out of the depths of a lot of depression.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: It gave me a high.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: It gave me something to look forward to.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: It helped me reconnect with myself.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: But then it just kept going.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: Then there was like no boundary on it.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: And it was just like, I'm just the way I am because I have a past life with my person.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, whoa, maybe, but also like you're in this lifetime, living this life.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: What are you going to do about right now?
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Especially with quantum healing, with the idea that time and space is concept when we're on Earth.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: And so if people come to me and they say, I really want to heal this past life in the field, I'll say, great, but I'd rather deal with it for you in this lifetime because based on the quantum theory, you're going to heal it for your past life, anyways.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: So we might as well give you the freedom instead of working backwards.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: I'm Elise Bassine, trauma and breathwork expert and creator of the Metamorphosis Method, the only methodology bridging the gap between spiritual healing and clinical trauma work.
1:01
SPEAKER_01: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: In this podcast, you'll discover my unique perspective on trauma healing and how it is the gateway to fully reclaiming your consciousness.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: You'll hear stories and teachings that expand your mind as you discover how every relationship challenge, business block, or limiting pattern is an invitation to reclaim the parts of your consciousness you unknowingly gave away.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: Get ready to go deep.
1:33
SPEAKER_01: Now let's dive in.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: So I am recording this intro from beautiful Tapatlan, Mexico.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: And I know I'm not pronouncing that correctly, but I am um at my friend's retreat and I'm teaching breath work here in the evenings, and it's been so incredible.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: It's so beautiful here.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: We are in the mountains.
2:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, it's a very special place.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: It is quite magical.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: So hopefully you can hear and feel the frequency and the vibes.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: So this week I have a conversation that I had with Kat Dow, who is a family constellations therapist.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: And we have a really great conversation about her journey from working in her family's business to um going after her dream and her vision of being a family constellations practitioner and everything she went through along the way.
2:34
SPEAKER_01: So it's a really fascinating story and a really great conversation that I think you're gonna love.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: Just one quick thing before we get into the episode.
2:44
SPEAKER_01: If you have not yet purchased the mini morphosis, I highly, highly recommend doing it because that is for only$33, where I lay out my entire inner child healing process, which will literally save you years in therapy.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: I've taken something that is pretty complicated and distilled it down into something that's very simple that you can use on your own to go from feeling stuck or triggered or challenged to coming back into your power and confidence within minutes.
3:16
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, this is something that my clients have mastered to create phenomenal results in their lives, like making more money in their businesses, starting their businesses, transforming their relationships for the better, having more confidence, ending chronic anxiety, ending chronic health problems, rewiring their nervous systems.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: It's really incredible to watch what happens when they master this process because it is very simple and very effective for addressing triggers and creating real transformation in your life.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's funny, I never really set out to be an inner child expert, but I did set out to find the simplest and most effective way to create permanent change in your life.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: And it just so happens addressing the unmet needs of your inner child is the fastest way to do that.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: So here we are.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: I've created something that is really special, really incredible, really simple and really effective.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: And I lay it all out for you in the mini morphosis.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: And it's only$33.
4:21
SPEAKER_01: So if you haven't purchased it yet, I highly recommend.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: And we will put the link below.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: And also if you have purchased, but you feel stuck or confused or you're not sure if you're working with the right core wound, then please reach out to me and we can hop on a call and I can give you some insight, let you know what I see, and let you know what next steps could be for you to really take this work to the next level and create what it is that you want in your life.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: So we will link all that below, sending you all of the highest vibes and love from Mexico.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: And I will be back in two weeks.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: Have an amazing weekend.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: So I'm really excited to introduce you to today's guests, and I'm sure we're gonna have an awesome conversation.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: So today we have Kat Dell with us, and she's a Family Constellations therapist facilitator and psychic medium.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: And I'm really excited to have her on.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: Kat, welcome to the show.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited for our chat.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: Me too.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: So I'd love to just start with a little bit about you and your story and just kind of like what was your journey to get you where you are right now.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I always say I didn't have the worst childhood ever.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: We don't compare trauma, right?
5:42
SPEAKER_00: But in terms of some of the bigger traumas that people have experienced, mine was mostly emotional, a lot of emotional abandonment, neglect, some really deep attachment issues.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: And I reached this point in my late 20s after going through almost 12 years of an eating disorder, depression, anxiety.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: I had gotten on antidepressants for the first time at 16, diagnosed with OCD at 15.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: My inner world mentally was very, it was filled with turmoil.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: And I had a very privileged life on the outside, but could not understand for what my life looked like.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: Why did it feel so shitty if I can cuss on the podcast?
6:23
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, and I just didn't get it.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: I didn't, it wasn't adding up to me.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: And I was 27 post-divorce, feeling suicidal again for the third time, hitting rock bottom.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: And again, my life looked really cool on the outside.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: I was working with celebrities, influencers, my family had a winery, so I was running their entire digital social program and I was having so much fun traveling, and yet I was sitting on my bed thinking, how do I feel this way?
6:51
SPEAKER_00: And yet it's supposed to be all cool and it's not.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: And I finally just had this moment where I wanted to understand why I had experienced all of this pain.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: And I reached out to a cousin of mine and I said, Do you have a life coach?
7:07
SPEAKER_00: If life feels like this at 27, I don't want to experience 50.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to experience 65 because this is just too much.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: And she said, I don't know a life coach, but I know someone who facilitates family constellation therapy.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: And I just have a feeling you should try it out.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I booked six months of coaching with my mentor without ever Googling what it was.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: I had never heard of it before.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: I was very familiar with all kinds of therapy.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: This one I had never heard of.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: And within the first session, I was floored.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: I felt like I could understand who I was as a person so much more clearly by just looking at the pattern of shame in my family system, just by looking at shame itself.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: From there, it was six months of coaching that really led me into trusting my intuition again, reconnecting with my soul, reconnecting with the ancestral trauma that I had inherited that I've spent the last five years really deeply trying to heal.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: What was the journey like for you of healing that?
8:10
SPEAKER_01: And what did that kind of bring you into now?
8:13
SPEAKER_01: Because obviously you've switched like your life path or what you're doing.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: It was interesting because with the coaching I was going through, all my mentor would ask me was, What's coming up for you right now?
8:26
SPEAKER_00: What are you feeling blocked in?
8:27
SPEAKER_00: And I would say, I really feel blocked in finding a romantic partner.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: So then we go into my ancestral stories that I heard growing up or the beliefs that I have, because what I've learned through my mentor and through my work is that we are the portals into understanding our lineage.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: What we go through, it's oftentimes reliving the untold stories and the unhealed trauma of our families.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: So all I would do is say, this is what I'm going through.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: And through that, we would then navigate the individual people or the experiences.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: So in my family, on my dad's side, my father, when he was eight years old, almost died in the war in Lebanon because one of the bombs exploded on the sidewalk in front of his home where he was having breakfast, and his shrapnel went into his face and he's paralyzed on one side of his face.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: My uncle was in a coma for 48 hours at 12 years old.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: We had this incredible war trauma that happened and affected my family that then fueled this crazy story of how they had to survive and how I was living in that survival.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: It's not just big traumas, though, it's also little ones, miscarriages, stillborns, secrets, things left unsaid.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: That's the way that I worked with this modality and ended up realizing that the person who was underneath all of these things as a result of the unhealed stuff, there's a really loving, awesome person underneath that.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: But I had to like weed through some of that to see that.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
9:55
SPEAKER_01: I think that's what happens with everyone when it's like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or I don't know what my purpose is.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh, you'll you'll know that.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: That's not the hard part.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: So then how did you kind of like make sense of what you were currently feeling versus all of the stories and everything?
10:16
SPEAKER_01: Were you able to like relate what you were feeling to like the shame or the survival mode and just like how that was present in your body?
10:25
SPEAKER_00: It's interesting because what I've learned on the ancestral healing journey is that we tend to make ancestral healing this like really big, obscure, generic topic.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: But really, when you boil it down, when you're looking at ancestral trauma, you're looking at what happened to people and how did their bodies, their minds, and their energy, their spirit cope with that trauma.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: And however they didn't cope with it is then what caused them to treat the next generation a certain way that, you know, like we're just looking at this repeated way of people surviving or these dynamics.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And so for me, it was just about if I had shame about my body, then I knew that my paternal grandmother had an eating disorder.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: So then I had to look at her life and understand her life through this modality and through stories that I heard and asking questions and learning to channel her, which is when the psychic medium part came in and really talking to her.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: And then realizing that there were connections and the unworthiness or the need to be seen was that theme that was getting passed down.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: And then I would ask questions about her mom, and she was the only girl of four boys, and her mom really doted on her, and that really shaped how she was.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: And so that's a lot of how I was working with this is okay, what are the parts of me that I also see mirrored in these people?
11:53
SPEAKER_00: And it's funny too, because the energetic part of it is a huge piece of family constellation therapy.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: It's the ways that our family dynamics are set up and it's the energy of how they're behaving.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: And that's what family constellation therapy shows you based on this intention you have around healing shame, this is what the family system is doing.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Everyone's enmeshed in the same story.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: We need to separate everybody, we need to put everyone back where they belong.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: We need to speak to these people and really give their trauma back to them and ask for their permission to move forward without it.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: And what does that look like?
12:31
SPEAKER_00: So a session is very nuanced and it's very individual to each person.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly how my experience was too.
12:38
SPEAKER_01: For sure.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: I've done some family constellations work too.
12:42
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't, my work is very similar to that.
12:45
SPEAKER_01: I didn't really realize it until I did a little bit of it.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I think there's so much value in like really understanding what is happening there.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times too, people have a lot of trouble even knowing the difference between themselves and their parents and their people and their families, and knowing the difference between what their thoughts and experiences are versus their parents or whatever.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I totally get it.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's really interesting for people who also don't have any like explicit trauma.
13:24
SPEAKER_01: I was actually joking with a client yesterday or the day before or whatever about she's someone who has a much bigger obvious trauma.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, if nothing else, it's easier for you in a sense, because it's so obvious what the problem is.
13:38
SPEAKER_01: Like for a lot of people, it's so much more nuanced because there's nothing like obvious.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: Like I was very similar to you, where I didn't have any like big trauma or anything with my family.
13:49
SPEAKER_01: Like objectively, it looked like everything was fine.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: So it felt a lot more complicated in a sense, because you're kind of like, why do I feel this way?
13:58
SPEAKER_01: And what is really going on here?
14:00
SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of it is like underneath the surface.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious for you too, like, how did it impact your because you said you were working for your parents and you were like doing social media stuff.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: And so did you decide you didn't want to do that anymore?
14:16
SPEAKER_01: Or what was that journey like for you?
14:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, before I answer that, I want to just touch on something you said too.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: Family constellation therapy will show you where you're identified with someone, show you where you're entangled with someone in your family system.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: And so you can create that healthy separation.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: That's I wanted to note on that.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I took the leap in the official leap in December of 2021.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: I decided that with the training I was going through and with how fueled up and passionate and soul-filled I felt with this work and how I was really feeling in tune with being of service, which is my favorite thing to do.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: I called my dad and I said, This door is opening for me and I really want to walk through it.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: And I want to get your thoughts and your permission, basically, but not in permission in the sense of I wasn't gonna do it if he said no.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: It was more of honoring the fact that he had given me a career, a salary, a job, opportunity, the honoring all of the ways that he had supported me, even if the job really wasn't something that was gonna take me long term.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: And I really just wanted to tell him that I loved him and I was so grateful for everything he had done for me, especially going through the divorce.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: It was the greatest support I could have.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: He said, something I'll never forget.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: He said, When your heart calls you into something, you have to follow it.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: And the winery will always be here if you need it.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: And then I had to call my uncle, who's very much like a second father to me, and he said the same thing.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: And so it felt very aligned.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: It was really scary because for the first year or so, and you're building a business from the ground up, you have days where you're just like, oh my God, did I make a mistake?
16:02
SPEAKER_00: I don't have a lot of income coming in.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: This is crazy.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: Did I what am I doing?
16:08
SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna get clients?
16:09
SPEAKER_00: But you just put one step in front of the other.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: And I worked a lot with Spirit and with a lot of really wonderful coaches who really encouraged me to trust that my soul was calling me into something like this.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: And it's been almost five years, and I'm just in awe of where this journey's taken me.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: What would you say was like one of the biggest challenges for you with running the business, but in terms of like the deeper ancestral work?
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Where the ancestral work met my challenges in starting a business is the hustle mentality.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: It's the survival hustle mentality where I was raised, my dad and my uncle are entrepreneurs.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: We're Lebanese, so we joke our ancestors are Phoenician who invented business, right?
16:58
SPEAKER_00: So they've got this like amazing entrepreneurial spirit.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: American, they truly lived the American dream.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: It's incredible their story.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: But I thought I had to function that same way.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: I had to push myself and hustle.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: And really, what I've learned about myself is that as a woman, I'm deeply in need to be in connection with my intuition and my flow and my cycle and all these things that men don't worry about when they're running a business.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: And that I was breaking a generational curse of sacrifice to have success because I watched my dad sacrifice a lot of different things, his health, his relationships, his well-being for creating a beautiful company that went on to change many lives, but at the sacrifice of himself in a lot of ways.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: And I never wanted to do that.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: So it's interesting when I work with a lot of people who have immigrant families, there's always that tie of I want to be an entrepreneur and I want to carry on the gifts of that entrepreneurial spirit.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm inspired by the entrepreneur in my family, but also at what expense?
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: I've seen that too a lot.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: And in general, just anyone who has a parent who did have a business and whatever struggles they saw will always come up at some point.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's interesting too finding that balance or intersection between figuring out, yes, of course, we don't want to sacrifice our well-being or whatever.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: And at the same time, I also feel like there's this rhetoric online about, oh, you can have a business and like you don't have to really work that hard.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: And like we all know that that's total bullshit.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: So, like, where do you see like that, like finding that balance?
18:49
SPEAKER_01: Cause I think it is important to talk about that too.
18:51
SPEAKER_01: Cause yeah, of course, we don't want to like do the whole thing where you run yourself into the ground and sacrifice parts of your life that are important, but at the same time, like it takes a lot of like focus and dedication and all of that to run a business and to continue to run a business.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: So, what's your thoughts on that?
19:12
SPEAKER_00: I could talk about this forever.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: For me, when you say that, what brings up is that I'd rather look at the nervous system than look at spirituality in that sense.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: Because if you are create, if you are needing to be that kind of per this is, I don't want this to come off judgmental, but I guess I'm only speaking from my own experience.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm speaking to me three years ago, but like it's not realistic that you just sit around, like manifestation is not just like sitting around, like waiting for things to happen to you.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, I just hate that narrative so much.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: There's a fine line with like divine inspiration, and then the solar plexus is that place of personal empowerment and divine action where you put things into motion.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: The universe responds to you putting out in the world or vibrating at like the frequency of like creation, right?
20:03
SPEAKER_00: There's so much to that.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: And I think if somebody came to me and said that they didn't want to work, but they wanted to just let things happen, I'd be like, honey, your nervous system must be exhausted because that is not how it works.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: Why don't you pause, give yourself the time and space that you need to do nothing?
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Let yourself receive a lot of like whatever you need to receive in that time, and then be ready to put in the work because it doesn't work like that.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: It's not magical like that in that way.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: I think there's a way of doing it that goes beyond having to just like hustle or whatever or work nonstop.
20:40
SPEAKER_01: But I think there's always this point where you do have to do things that aren't necessarily your favorite things to do.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I don't want to run meta ads for stuff because I don't even know what the hell that looks like, but you can always find someone who can help you.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have to spend money to make money and you have to put yourself in certain situations where you're uncomfortable, but you're putting yourself out there.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: And I think we're moving away from that like world where spirituality takes precedent over like human connection.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: I just feel like our world is going through a huge shift where I don't really think that a lot of people realize how much they've been in spiritual psychosis or bypassing for a long time.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: And I think now we're all gonna start waking up to this reality that the human experience is the spiritual experience.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: And the more that you can integrate the two, and the more that you can really live that in unison with each other in an emotionally mature, loving, and honest, respectful way, then the better you will see things be created in your life.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: They're not as separate as we have idealized them to be.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about spiritual psychosis.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: What's your thoughts on that?
21:55
SPEAKER_00: If I see another tarot card puller on my TikTok feeling.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna scream.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think there's a lot of beauty to everyone waking up to their gifts.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: I love the statement yes, and yes, I love seeing the tarot card pullers on Instagram.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: They're using their gifts, they're tapping in, they're tuning in.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: And we can't use past life, current life, future life, like all these like things that are not part of the human experience in some way.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: They're not as tangible.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: We can't use that to describe everything about us.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: And I'm speaking from experience.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: I just went through a three-hour EMDR intensive, and I realized I had been spiritually bypassing myself since the age of four because I was born with really strong usage of my intuitive gifts, but I was also emotionally neglected and left alone for a long time, like oldest of five, neglected in a lot of ways.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: And so my brain was left to just ruminate and go and search and all that.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: And I always thought, well, it's because I'm just so spiritual.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, because you are abandoned.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: That's why you have it's the yes and you're deeply spiritual and you are abandoned.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: And so when we use spirituality to put ourselves on a pedestal and make ourselves better than other people, then we really lose sight of the human experience.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: And it's that really we can recognize that you are just as intuitive as I am.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: I just use that muscle in a different way, in a different capacity.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: And I like to use it with mediumship and this and that and whatever.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: But you could do that if you wanted to also.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: It's not like I'm any better than anybody else with it.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: And I think like for people, you know, who are like just waking up, of course, they're gonna feel like, oh wow, I like discovered this new thing, and now I feel like I'm on this like next level or whatever it is.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: So it creates that feeling of conclusion.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:54
SPEAKER_01: But then then you're focusing on things that aren't always helpful or aren't there's a level where you have to understand who you are before you can really tap into that stuff, even if you're good at tapping into it, because a lot of times if you're not aware of like your the certain things going on in your subconscious or unmet needs or wounding or whatever, then you're gonna be seeing those things through that lens.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: And then it's gonna be skewed, or it can be like an escape, also, I think for people.
24:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and also for me, my spirituality got better and 10 times more powerful when I integrated my human wounding because it was the wounding that was getting in the way of me being able to properly use my intuition, mostly for myself.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm very grateful that when it came to clients, it would just be clear and it was a gift.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: But when it came to myself, it was very clouded and very wounded.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: And I had no clarity on my life and who I was.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: And so I think, yeah, like you said, there is just this fine line because for me, spirituality pulled me out of the depths of a lot of depression.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: It gave me a high, it gave me something to look forward to, it helped me reconnect with myself, but then it just kept going.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: Then there was like no boundary on it, and it was just like I'm just the way I am because I have a past life with my person, and it's just like, whoa, maybe, but also like you're in this lifetime living this life.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do about right now?
25:23
SPEAKER_00: Because especially with quantum healing, with the idea that time and space is concept when we're on earth.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: And so if people come to me and they say, I really want to heal this past life in a in the field, I'll say, Great, but I'd rather deal with it for you in this lifetime because based on the quantum theory, you're gonna heal it for your past life anyways.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: So we might as well give you the freedom instead of working backwards.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I hardly ever, I always say this, I hardly ever will talk to people about that, unless it's something that's like pertinent in some way, but it usually isn't because it's usually okay, then if you really want to heal it, it's obviously affecting you now.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: So how is it affecting you now?
26:06
SPEAKER_01: And let's just like address that because I also think it can be a way that people can get stuck like in a story of this is why I can't get into a relationship or this is why, or whatever.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: And then it's just like another thing that limits you, but it sounds like spiritual because it's a past life or whatever.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: But that's the bypassing part too.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: It's our our spirituality bypassing that we don't want to go into the human experience of now and deal with the pain that we're experiencing now.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: We want to find another reason for it or analyze it from a different perspective.
26:41
SPEAKER_00: But when we're able to really go back into like EMDR changed my life because I got to go back and relive being in the womb, being three, being four, being 10, being 15, and going through these experiences and coming out on the other side and saying, it doesn't really matter what I went through in another life.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm just glad I dealt with this one.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: And it completely changed my view on spirituality.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: I am still the most woo person that you'll meet.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: I love, I'm I work as a psychic medium.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't think I get more woo than that, but it's more grounded now.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: And I and spirituality for me is becoming a more of a grounded experience, especially because of everything happening on the planet right now.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: There's so much turmoil.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: It's like we need people to be grounded in who they are.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: For sure.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: So I want to go back for a second because I know you mentioned you went through a divorce like in your 20s, which is also crazy.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: But it sounds like it was like pre-Saturn return, which also kind of makes sense.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: Can you talk a little bit about that and then how you kind of like healed from that or how it contributed to your whole process?
27:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, honestly, my ex-husband is a good person, but we just did not work.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: He was basically the manifestation of both of my parents in one human being.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: He was also a very avoidant and avoidant of his own traumas.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: And I was very anxious, disorganized, and very angry in that relationship.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: But we were attached to each other because he worked for my family.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: So there was a lot of enmeshment and a lot of codependency.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: And my 20s, my early 20s, man, they were rough.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: And he was just the person I was attached to.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: And I ended up going to this really beautiful place called OnSite.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: It's in Cumberland Furnace in Tennessee.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: It's a retreat therapy center.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: And I was really thinking about separating.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: And I'll never forget, I was in the group room, and this therapist, Carlos, he was trying to describe what chaotic dysfunction and relationships looked like.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: And he had two people get up in the middle of the room and he said, Okay, I want you both to walk in a circle together, and that's to represent the chaos.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: And then he said, I want one person to stop and step outside of the circle.
28:54
SPEAKER_00: And he said, This is what you all are doing, is you're stopping the chaos, you're stepping out of the circle.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: And the other person may not want to stop with you.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: And that really landed for me.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: It's like I was moving in this very evolutionary path with myself and with my psyche and my spirit, and really trying to, I was really starting to see just how this relationship was never going to work.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: And I was the one that stopped and got out.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: And it was messy, but it was probably one of the most liberating times of my life because for the first time, I mattered to me.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: What I needed mattered to me.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: And it was hard because I remember I moved back in with my dad and my stepmom.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: And at 27, you're like, this is oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: And then I lived in a small town in California where there's like 30,000 people.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: So I was on hinge, but my location was San Diego where I was from.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: And I was like trying to get out and meet people.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: And it was just so chaotic.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: And I just remember telling my sister, please make sure I don't go back to him.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: Like if I tell you that I want to go back, I need you to stop me because it was this addiction to this codependency.
30:08
SPEAKER_00: So I haven't really ever talked about my divorce, to be honest.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: I left, it was mutual, and we just like went separate ways.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: And then I went on this crazy journey for four years.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: And I met my almost husband.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: We're getting married in October at 30.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: And like now it's like, oh my God, my perspective on relationships has changed so much.
30:31
SPEAKER_01: No, I I get it.
30:33
SPEAKER_01: I think it's interesting when we go through stuff like that because I think it really contributes to just like your view of relationships.
30:41
SPEAKER_01: And I do think those, like I had a relationship during that point in my life.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't married, but we lived together and had dogs together and separated around that same time.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: Like I was 27 and moved back in with my parents.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't like an official divorce, but it felt like one.
30:56
SPEAKER_01: But I feel like it was like one of those things that catalyzed this huge turning point.
31:02
SPEAKER_01: And it was right before my Saturn return and all of that.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: And I think that those points in your life are just like big turning points that kind of shift you in a whole different direction, you know?
31:14
SPEAKER_01: So I think it's interesting in terms of the trajectory of the journey.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: And then how do you feel like, because I know for me, relationships is such a huge part of the work.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: And like when you look at your relationship now, how do you feel like you look at it like through the lens of the work that you do, or how does the work inform how you show up in your relationship now?
31:38
SPEAKER_00: What's interesting is if I look back on my relationship with my ex-husband, we were together for eight and a half years.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: We were only married for 11 months because at 11 months I was like, okay, this shit really isn't gonna work.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: But it was like the repression of my voice was showing up in that relationship.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: My unprocessed anger and not handling it the most maturely.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: Also, my repressed needs was showing up in that relationship.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: And also wanting someone to save me and fix me.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: And looking at my ex-husband on paper was a great on paper, but the emotional connection, I remember when we were about to get divorced, I was learning about intimacy.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: And I thought intimacy was only sexual.
32:23
SPEAKER_00: And then I realized there's physical, emotional, spiritual, and I was like, oh my God, we have none of this.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know who this person is.
32:30
SPEAKER_00: And he didn't even know who he was.
32:31
SPEAKER_00: He was totally avoidant of his own experience.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: So in after that divorce, I is when I went through a deep spiritual awakening in 2020, and I started looking at attachment theory, about looking at inner child work.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: I was doing 2B magnetics activations that I was doing all of the inner work at that time.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: And then now I just had my fiance on my podcast, and we were talking about our avoidance, his avoidance and my disorganized and how it's healing through the relationship because of the emotional connection and the importance of an emotional connection and the importance of a friendship.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: And so I think if anything, to answer your question, that relationship with my ex-husband showed me what I didn't want.
33:16
SPEAKER_00: And then I had to figure out all right, now if I don't want that, then like the opposite is maybe this or in this realm.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: And I'm really lucky.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: My fiance and I were friends for like six or seven months.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: We lived in the same apartment complex and met during COVID.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: We got other dogs and raised them together.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: So we had a really solid bond.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: So when the romance ebbs and flows as it will, because it's life, we have his humor and my humor to fall back on.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: We have a friendship.
33:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God, I know that's so important to like feel like that person is your best friend.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: Because yeah, I think that it's not always gonna be like on a high of, oh my God, we're so in love.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: But if you're friends, then I think it makes it makes it so much better.
34:01
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's easier to talk about things.
34:04
SPEAKER_01: But one of the things you said that I wanted to mention, because I feel like this is something that comes up for a lot of my clients and it might be for you too, is around like being able to authentically express yourself in relationships.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's such a in fact, I find, and I'm curious for you too, that for a lot of my clients who come in to work with me, in the beginning, they might not even realize that they don't know how to do that or they don't know how to express their needs and stuff.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: And I'm curious your thoughts on that and if you see it, because I think it's so common.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: And it and it was something that I had to work through and shift also.
34:41
SPEAKER_01: And I think for women in general, like being able to identify that you have needs and say them in a relationship is like a very big learning curve.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: It reminds me of when I was just friends with my fiance.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: We were sitting at the fireplace in our apartment complex in San Diego, and this was when we were really building our emotional relationship as a friend, you know, in the friendship.
35:05
SPEAKER_00: And he literally said to me one day, you think you're being authentic and vulnerable, but you're not.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: And I can feel that you're being guarded around me.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: And and then that I think he just said that.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh shit.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: And then all the good girl, oldest daughter, perfectionist, people pleaser stuff started coming to the surface.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: And after that, I remember just being like, you know what, lay it all out there.
35:28
SPEAKER_00: If he likes you, he likes you.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: And if he doesn't, he doesn't.
35:31
SPEAKER_00: And here we are.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: But I think that millennial, the millennial generation, when if I'm looking at it from a generational perspective, we're the first generation to normalize therapy, to talk about how we feel, to have multiple digital and human platforms where we can talk about things and everyone's going through these collective things at the same time.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think that we've ever lived in a time where it's okay to just say how you feel.
36:00
SPEAKER_00: And every single human being, man or woman that I work with, because I usually mostly work with millennials, they are learning to find their voice.
36:10
SPEAKER_00: It's like this collective thing that we're seeing going on.
36:15
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know how to describe it, other than obviously the traumas that we've been going through have repressed our truth.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: And a big thing to look out for in family systems with that is if there's secrets being kept.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: That's a really, really big one.
36:29
SPEAKER_00: Is I grew up hearing don't air your dirty laundry outside the family.
36:33
SPEAKER_00: And so I learned to not say what I was seeing and what I was feeling.
36:37
SPEAKER_00: If you heard the phrase growing up, kids are better seen and not heard, repress your voice.
36:43
SPEAKER_00: If you talked back, you'd get verbally or physically abused.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: There were so many threats to using our voice in past generations for whatever reason.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Survival seems to be the general gist.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: And now we're kind of like, fuck that.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: I think we're all really realizing that when we speak our truth and we say it, it feels so much better.
37:05
SPEAKER_00: I feel like our millennial generation is just this pressure cooker of like all of the trauma, and we're just, it's gonna pop if we don't say something about it.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure, for sure.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: And I think also it's funny because I'm kind of like I'm like an ex ennial because I'm like, I was born in 81.
37:24
SPEAKER_01: So I'm like on the cusp.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of my clients are actually Gen X, well, millennials and Gen X, but a mix.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: And I think Gen X is a little bit different.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: Like I think they have a little bit of an even harder time like expressing, or even like knowing that they have needs like to express, or even getting in touch with those needs.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's something too that a lot of people struggle with.
37:47
SPEAKER_01: But the other thing too, I think is also the fear of how your feelings are going to affect everyone else and like the reaction people are gonna have to them, or that it's like if you say how you feel, then it's going to cause chaos or everyone's gonna be mad at you, or whatever it is.
38:06
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that's another piece of it too that I see with a lot of people.
38:10
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, it's like they don't feel that there's a safe space to do that.
38:15
SPEAKER_01: And then as everyone's creating this safe space to do it, then it's like it has to happen.
38:20
SPEAKER_01: But it just it definitely feels like such a theme for women, especially.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: Well, think about let's like humanize it a little bit together.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: Think about Gen X's parents.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: They're born, what generation were they born in?
38:35
SPEAKER_00: What was happening in the world?
38:36
SPEAKER_00: What was norm, like, what was normal for parents to do during that time as a result of the technology, the psychological findings, the wars, the when you look at who raised Gen X, it was probably the height of some of the most repressive times in history.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: And then they're born into the 70s, where it's the most expressive time and everyone's doing drugs and woodstock and happy and and then we we've just been evolving, our expression has been evolving generation over generation over generation.
39:09
SPEAKER_00: And now I think with technology and just with social media, our generation is just like middle fingering on the past in a sense and being like, Oh, I actually have a lot to say.
39:19
SPEAKER_00: But the hard part with that is that we're also seeing a lot of the shadow side of using your voice.
39:25
SPEAKER_00: I will always stand by that you always say your truth with honesty, kindness, and respect.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: Anything that goes against that is is speaking truth, but you don't want to do harm to people.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where humanity is stuck right now is like everybody's got their truth, but they're willing to put other people down in the process of that.
39:44
SPEAKER_00: And that just takes us backwards.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: But it's a it's a process, it's a journey.
39:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:49
SPEAKER_01: And also I think it's like this understanding, too, that like just because something is someone's truth, it doesn't have to be your truth.
39:58
SPEAKER_01: I think that's a huge place of evolution for us right now, too.
40:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm really big on the yes and of life right now.
40:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because it's like nothing is black and white, and it's it's such a kind of old programming kind of thing to look at things as like bad or good or black and white or whatever.
40:18
SPEAKER_01: And I was actually talking about this.
40:20
SPEAKER_01: I did a an addendum to my mother wound thing in the metamorphosis, which is my program after I just got back from a trip to Spain with my mother.
40:30
SPEAKER_01: So I had all these things that I was teaching about deeper layers of enmeshment and all of this.
40:34
SPEAKER_01: And one of the things I was saying is like this relationship is not like just because there are certain things you identified with around your mother's consciousness and all of these things, like that's not only just bad.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, there might be things that you want to disentangle from, but there's also things that were great about her that you took on.
40:59
SPEAKER_01: And it's important to hold that because it can be very hard for people to go there and feel like they're then just being like, my parents were bad.
41:09
SPEAKER_01: And we have to be able to hold both of those things at the same time.
41:12
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's so important.
41:15
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's something that people have to kind of like work up to.
41:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Dr.
41:19
SPEAKER_00: Gabor Mate says that black and white thinking or right or wrong thinking is a response to childhood trauma or childhood experiences that were traumatic because we don't have the conscious understanding of how to make sense of the gray area of many different things when we're children.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: And also we're told we're good or bad, we're right or wrong, especially if you're raised in a religious programmed home where there's a lot of like, if you're good, then you go to heaven, if you're bad, then you blah, blah, blah.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: And so I think that looking back on our childhood experiences, I suffered from black and white thinking for a long time as a means for control of making sense of things.
41:57
SPEAKER_00: And a huge part of emotional maturity for me was just yes, and yes, this person was abusive and finding something in it that feels less, I don't know, holding space for the both of people.
42:11
SPEAKER_00: And I know that every generation breaks a cycle of its own.
42:16
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it breaks a cycle because we want to do things differently in than the past, but also sometimes past generations do pass down gifts that we have to be willing to see and embrace.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: Like for me, it was the entrepreneurial father that I was raised with.
42:33
SPEAKER_00: The shadow side was the sacrifice.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: The beauty of it is that I have always believed I can do whatever I want.
42:40
SPEAKER_00: I can create a life and I can think of an idea and bring it to life because my dad did that for so many years.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: So there's always good and bad, I think, with a lot of things with our family.
42:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
42:51
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's like we have to be able to take both of those things and not make it good or bad, right or wrong.
42:58
SPEAKER_01: But I find, and I'm curious if you see this too, like in the beginning with a lot of people, they do sometimes have a hard time making their parents wrong or seeing their parents as abusive or whatever it was.
43:13
SPEAKER_01: It can be like a big thing to say or it feels scary to say.
43:17
SPEAKER_00: That's my favorite topic to talk about.
43:19
SPEAKER_00: Belonging.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: Perfect.
43:20
SPEAKER_00: I love talking about belonging because I just think that we as a society don't realize how much we're fueled by doing or saying certain things because we just want to belong.
43:30
SPEAKER_00: And primally, as children, it's interesting.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: Gabor, I'm gonna quote him again because he's my unofficial mentor.
43:37
SPEAKER_00: I've studied all of his work.
43:39
SPEAKER_00: He says that actually humans are born premature.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: Their brain size is about 80% of their weight compared to their to our bodies.
43:48
SPEAKER_00: Whereas most mammals, a horse is born and can run around and do things on its own.
43:54
SPEAKER_00: We're born a little bit premature.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: It takes us almost a year and a half to get to the place where we can actually start.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: To develop some independence, which means that for the first year and a half of our lives, we are completely 100% codependent on the relationships with our caregivers.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: And when we are completely dependent on them, then that really has an impact on the way how we take in the world and how we see ourselves and what we believe.
44:19
SPEAKER_00: And that's where a lot of attachment stuff comes up as well.
44:23
SPEAKER_00: I forgot what your question was.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: I totally got into that.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, belonging.
44:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we we need to feel like we belong because we're primarily wired for it, especially the first three years of life.
44:32
SPEAKER_00: We're completely dependent on these people.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: I giggle when people are hyper-independent because I'm like, all right, where were you told to deal with things on your own?
44:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
44:41
SPEAKER_00: I resonate with that too.
44:42
SPEAKER_00: Independent, hyper-independent oldest daughter.
44:45
SPEAKER_00: I can do things on my own.
44:46
SPEAKER_00: I don't need people because I didn't really have anyone there.
44:49
SPEAKER_00: So I developed that belief.
44:51
SPEAKER_00: So belonging really fuels so much of our inner world, so much of our subconscious.
44:57
SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes we will go against our true nature and our true desires and our true selves just to feel like we belong.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: And it's an ever-evolving journey.
45:06
SPEAKER_00: There's no judgment around that, but it's just we really do need to get to know our inner selves, mind, body, spirit, our subconscious, what we went through to get a sense of who we are and what is in alignment for us.
45:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
45:21
SPEAKER_01: And just even understanding, like as far as belonging goes, okay, what decisions have you made that were motivated by that versus what is actually true for you?
45:31
SPEAKER_00: The classic one is when people come to me and say, I don't want to keep drinking anymore, but my whole family, they're big drinkers.
45:37
SPEAKER_00: And I just, whenever I'm around them at family gatherings, I just start drinking for connection because I don't know how to bond with these people.
45:44
SPEAKER_00: And everyone's drinking, but I don't want to because I'm trying to get pregnant.
45:48
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, here's that belonging, that need to belong is coming up and it's rubbing up against your tribe.
45:54
SPEAKER_00: And like, how are you gonna stand in your truth?
45:56
SPEAKER_00: And then we just work on that specifically.
45:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll see that too, even with things like just ways that people normalize how they relate in families.
46:05
SPEAKER_01: Like if everyone connects through complaining, then it's like I have to complain in order to connect with people or have something to talk about.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: Wait, but I don't want to complain or I don't have anything to complain about.
46:17
SPEAKER_00: But if I don't, then I have nothing to talk about.
46:21
SPEAKER_00: That brings up a client story that I have permission to share is I have a client who literally learned how to have an eating disorder from her mom.
46:29
SPEAKER_00: And the reason she didn't want to give it up is because it's something that she could bond with her mom about because the eating disorder was normalized.
46:35
SPEAKER_00: It was completely normalized in her family system.
46:38
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
46:38
SPEAKER_00: So to restrict, to binge, all normalized.
46:41
SPEAKER_00: And so when she came to me, she's like, I don't want to do this anymore.
46:45
SPEAKER_00: We looked into a lot of her fears and a lot of her programming around it.
46:49
SPEAKER_00: We did a lot of work on her enmeshment with her mom and some of the trauma that happened in her mom's family.
46:55
SPEAKER_00: We came to the conclusion that she did not want to give up this eating disorder because she was afraid she would lose connection with her mom because her entire relationship since childhood was around body image and food and the eating disorder.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: And in this case, it was a successful story in which the client received recovery help.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: She's doing amazing.
47:17
SPEAKER_00: She went to her mom, she told her mom that she had been working on this and how she was vulnerably feeling.
47:23
SPEAKER_00: And her mom literally said to her, I've always wanted to stop.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: I just never knew how.
47:27
SPEAKER_00: So I just kept doing it.
47:28
SPEAKER_00: And there was freedom in the release of, oh my gosh, these two women did not want to continue this pattern, but did not feel resourced enough to know or supported enough to know how to stop.
47:40
SPEAKER_00: And so just this one woman speaking her truth to her mother, and now her mother's in recovery.
47:45
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how she's doing, but I the last time I heard from her, she was in recovery.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: So wow, it's just incredible what happens when you can look at some of these dynamics and be honest and truthful about them.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: For sure.
47:56
SPEAKER_01: And I think that most of the time, I think that people respond like that, where it's like on some level, they are affected or motivated or impacted, even if they don't have words for it.
48:11
SPEAKER_01: Because I think a lot of times people have a fear that they're gonna lose the person or whatever.
48:16
SPEAKER_01: And it's usually the opposite.
48:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's very true.
48:21
SPEAKER_00: Very, very true.
48:22
SPEAKER_00: Fear does drive the wheel.
48:26
SPEAKER_00: It's it's the wheel for a lot of our relationships.
48:28
SPEAKER_00: And we're afraid to speak our truth because we don't know if people are gonna receive it.
48:32
SPEAKER_00: We're afraid to be ourselves because we don't know if people will love us if we want to be ourselves.
48:37
SPEAKER_00: And I will say that the more in my life that I've embraced my authenticity, it did cost me some relationships.
48:46
SPEAKER_00: It really did.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: And I still grieve some of those friendships and even family relationships to this day because I had to face the hard truth that that person cannot love me or accept me for who I am, or that the dynamic just doesn't work when I stand in my truth.
49:01
SPEAKER_00: And then, as always, I'm a big believer in God.
49:05
SPEAKER_00: You can call it higher power, whatever.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: I my biggest thing is like God always provides.
49:10
SPEAKER_00: As soon as that person left my life, a more loving, more aligned relationship would come in.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: And I'd be like, okay, that helps me deal with the grief of what I had to let go of.
49:20
SPEAKER_00: I really do believe we're always provided for.
49:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: I feel like there's always like when something leaves, something always comes in that's better or more aligned.
49:32
SPEAKER_01: I've had to support a lot of people and myself with things moving on, friendships moving on, or family relationships changing.
49:41
SPEAKER_01: And it's hard, but it's also like I think you get to the point where you're like, I can't be this person anymore.
49:48
SPEAKER_01: It's just not gonna work.
49:50
SPEAKER_01: So before we complete, I'd love to just hear a little more about how you work with clients and like who you specifically work with, and then you know how people can find you and how people can work with you.
50:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right now I specifically have two different services.
50:06
SPEAKER_00: One is family consolation therapy.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: It can be up to two hours.
50:09
SPEAKER_00: Usually it is two hours for the first few sessions.
50:12
SPEAKER_00: And then the other offer that I have is an ancestral intuitive reading.
50:16
SPEAKER_00: It's 35 minutes, but we do a lot of work in 35 minutes.
50:19
SPEAKER_00: You get a reading in FCT with me.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: I usually someone's family member will come in and just be like, and I want to start joining the session.
50:27
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, welcome.
50:28
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I give the two hours because sometimes it gets a little fluid.
50:32
SPEAKER_00: But those are the ways that people can work with me.
50:35
SPEAKER_00: And I also have two other free offerings that you can start working with today that don't require a lot of time and effort.
50:43
SPEAKER_00: One is my cycle breaker archetype quiz.
50:45
SPEAKER_00: It's basically just helps you understand your role in your family system, the strengths, the challenges.
50:52
SPEAKER_00: I, of course, had to throw in a spirit animal because it wouldn't be me if I didn't, but you get a lot of information about if you're the caretaker, the parentified child, the rebel, the hyper-independent, or the comedian.
51:03
SPEAKER_00: And those are the archetypes of how we've learned to survive in our family systems.
51:07
SPEAKER_00: And so they're very empowering.
51:09
SPEAKER_00: And then the second one is I've just launched 40 new meditations on Insight Timer for all different things.
51:15
SPEAKER_00: There's motherhood, there's for the archetypes, there's taking the mask off, energetic cleansing.
51:22
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there are just so many.
51:23
SPEAKER_00: I like to give a lot of free resources to people because I know, especially in times today, people can't always afford to do the big stuff.
51:29
SPEAKER_01: Cool.
51:30
SPEAKER_01: We'll link all of that below.
51:31
SPEAKER_01: And then I know you have a podcast too, right?
51:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Heal with Cat Podcast.
51:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
51:36
SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
51:36
SPEAKER_01: We will link all that below and any other links that you have.
51:42
SPEAKER_01: But this was awesome.
51:43
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for being here and for sharing all of this.
51:47
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it was a great conversation.
51:50
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
51:51
SPEAKER_00: You're a really amazing interviewer.
51:53
SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you.
51:54
SPEAKER_01: I just kind of like go with I don't know.
51:58
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
51:58
SPEAKER_01: It was great.
51:59
SPEAKER_01: It's very intuitive.
52:01
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
52:02
SPEAKER_01: I look forward to connecting with you again.
52:05
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for being here.
52:06
SPEAKER_01: Yay.
52:08
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for being here.
52:10
SPEAKER_01: Don't forget to follow the show on Apple or Spotify.
52:13
SPEAKER_01: Leave a review and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
52:18
SPEAKER_01: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit that you can apply to joining anything new in my world.
52:25
SPEAKER_01: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at Elise underscore breeds.
52:30
SPEAKER_01: Make sure you download my Clear Trauma Cheat Sheet at elisebreeds.com.
52:34
SPEAKER_01: See you next time.