Latest / The Dimple Report / WOW!😯...Hatred of Dimples – The Funniest Censored Rant | The Dimple Report

Transcript

WOW!😯...Hatred of Dimples – The Funniest Censored Rant | The Dimple Report · The Dimple Report

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Ladies and gentlemen, we ask that you please take your seats at this time as the program will begin momentarily.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: Uplifting the airways, one dimple at a time.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's time for the Dimple Report.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: News, laughs, and Dimplified Moments with your host, founder, and chief devils officer of National Doubles Day, Graceful Grady.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, dimples are more than a trait.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: They're a reason to celebrate.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Hi.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Cute dimples.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is that your best pickup line?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: No pickup line.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Just complimenting your dimples.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know July 9th is National Dimples Day?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they have a fun site and merchandise.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Check it out.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: NationalDimplesday.com.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: National Dimples Day dot com?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Got it.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: May I uh buy you a cup of coffee?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I feel something brewing between us.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: I wouldn't consider myself a hater.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_03: Let me start this with that.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: I love celebrating people's wins.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: I I truly do.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_03: I love everyone except a very specific group of people.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-oh.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_03: They make my skin itch, irritate my soul.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: It does all boil down to the fact that I'm hating, but it doesn't matter because I can't stand them.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: And that group of people, those are people with dimples.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: I've got a few reasons.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: The first reason is when you're talking to a person, just having a regular conversation with a person with dimples.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: And it's very subtle.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: You might not even notice it, but they don't look you head on.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_03: They turn just enough for you to get a clear shot of the dimple.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: And everything is just so funny.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: Shut up.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: I don't care about your stupid little beautiful dimple.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: And there's no winning an argument with a person who has a dimple.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: They could say the most intense, below the belt, meanest, cruelest to you.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_03: But because that dimple makes them so freaking adorable, no matter what I say back, no matter even if I'm in tears, I'm always gonna be the bad guy because they look like cherub angels next to me with their taunting me.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'll be out minding my own business.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Minding my own business.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: Doing my own thing.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm with my friends.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: We're at dinner.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: We're all kikiing it up, laughing it up.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: I look over and I see someone just sitting there, staring at me, smiling with their dimples.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: Just not breaking eye contact, just smiling, dimples on full display.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_03: I look back at my friends.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: Are y'all seeing this?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_03: And no, they're laughing.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: They they're carrying on with their conversation, don't even notice.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: Look back, still looking at me, still smiling, those little dumbass dimples.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: Go back to my friends, they don't see nothing.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_03: Look back, they're gone.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: They're gone.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: They're taunting me.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: And don't get me started on picture time because that's their time to shine.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: And for some reason, I always get put next to the person who has dimples in the group photo.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Every time I'm like, oh brother, why me?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: And when it's time to take a picture, oh, they're not subtle about it at all.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: They practically are facing the wall.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: They're giving you a side look like this.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_03: There's no head on pictures with people with dimples.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: They don't give a crap about their eyes.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: They don't give a few about their smile.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: This is the star of the show.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, they're doing this.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: They're looking out the side of their eyes.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_03: I know their head hurts, and they're hitting you with this.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: It does not matter if you're in the picture with a freaking supermodel.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: That dimple is gonna outshine everybody in that picture.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sick of it.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sick of it.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: So, to wrap that all up, I don't like people with dimples because you guys are adorable and you know it.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: It makes me sick to my stomach how cute you are.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for listening to the Dimple Report.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure to follow the show.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: Visit us at nationaldimplesday.com and let someone know that dimples are more than a trait.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: They're a reason to celebrate.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: Until next time, Demples Nation, be proud of those dimples.