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The Mother: the Divine Shakti and the Personal Incarnation · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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And then good morning once again,
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everyone. Welcome to the Cultural
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Integration Fellowship and thank you for joining this morning.
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We were founded in 1951 by Doctor Harry Das and Beena
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Choudhury in the center of universal religion and virtual
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practice. And in keeping with unity, or
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rather the spirit of unity and diversity, we honor the
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spiritual traditions of diverse cultures and religions.
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As many of you would know, we have been celebrating Mother's
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birthday in the month of February.
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We begin the month with a talk from our dear Santosh Krinsky,
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who is titled The Talk as The Mother, The Divine Shakti and
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Her Personal Incarnation. Santosh has been studying
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Shirvinder's writings since 1971 and has a daily blog at
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shirvinderstudies.worldpress.com and podcast at anchor dot FM
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slash Santosh Dash Krinsky. The details are there in the
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announcement that I have sent out to you.
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Santosh resided at Shorebindo Ashram from spring 1973 through
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winter 1974. He is the author of 17 books and
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is editor in chief at Lotus Press.
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He is the President of Institute for Holistic Education, a non
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profit focused on integrating spirituality into daily life.
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He has spent more than 48 years building and developing
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infrastructure for publishing, distributing and educating about
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the spiritual path of Shorebindo, as well as
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developing and guiding companies at the forefront of publishing
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books and distributing books and podcasts to support the national
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market as well as the metaphysical market in North
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America. For more information on the on
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the writings of Shorebindo and the Mother, you can visit
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lotuspress.com as well as visit thedailyblog.posting@shorbindostudies.wordpress.com
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and the web page orbindo.net. I welcome Santosh to the podium
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of the Cultural Integration Fellowship, and before I hand
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over the screen to him, I want to read a few lines from this
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longish poem by Doctor Haydam from this book titled The Rhythm
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of Truth. The title of this poem is The
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Flame of Love, Radha's Longing. The devoted wife Radha was
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minding her household duties when suddenly the strange music,
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the compelling melody of Krishna's flute reached her
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ears, ravished her heart, made her captive sound.
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Intoxicated, she forgot her work in hand, forgot her family
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surroundings. Suddenly cut adrift from secure
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moorings, she set out in search of Christian.
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As I said earlier, I'm not going to read the entire poem, but
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what I'll do is that I will read out this brief explanation of
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the poem that Doctor, Doctor Choudhary himself has.
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He writes, this is what happens to the human soul when one day
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at a psychological moment, comes the call of the divine,
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penetrates the the inmost being, unsettles life's settled order,
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leads with irresistible inner compulsion toward the unknown
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and unseen. Let's meditate on these words
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for a couple of minutes. I welcome Santosh Krinsky to the
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Fellowship once again. Over to you, Santosh.
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Thank you. Greetings everybody.
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Now on's day to speak about the Mother here today and I don't
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know of any more appropriate topic.
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The divine Shakti is the power of the universe.
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And so before we begin the actual discussion, I wanted to
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make a brief tour of the universe.
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Virtually everybody here has had an opportunity at some point in
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life to look out, gaze out at the stars and just see the
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thousands or millions of lights out there at unimaginable
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distances. And if we reflect on that, we're
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now advised by people who have been studying these things
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intensely that there are millions or 10s of millions or
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hundreds of millions of stars out there, all with their own
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solar systems, their own planets, their own movement,
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their own energies as part of the Milky Way Galaxy.
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And we're further told that beyond the Milky Way Galaxy,
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they're untold millions of galaxies in the universe.
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And we all believe that we here on this small planet, these we
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as atoms in the endless universe are the center of all creation,
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and that we can understand and explain what it is the divine
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Shakti is creating here in this miraculous universe.
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Now, if we drill down from that universal scope into our little
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solar system in our little Galaxy and come down to our
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little planet, they're untold beings, thousands, maybe
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millions of beings that live on this planet, maybe inside
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volcanic tubes or down in the depths of the oceans that we
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will never interface with or understand.
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Why has all this been created? None of us, I believe, can say
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that this is something that the Divine Shakti, in her power of
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creation to carry out the Divine Will, is doing for purposes far
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beyond what we as human beings can even imagine.
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Sri Aurobindo has described the Mother in his small book titled
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The Mother and the Passage That most impressed me is the start
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of chapter 2 where he states in all that is done in the
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universe, the Divine through his Shakti is behind all action, but
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he is veiled by his Yoga Maya and works through the ego of the
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Jiva in the lower nature. Sri Aurobindo relates this
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divine Shakti as the universal Creatrix and we with our egos
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are part of that creation. We are creating and think that
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we own it, that we are it, but in reality it's that Divine
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Shakti acting through each and every one of us, just as it acts
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through each and every being and force in the entire universe to
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create something far beyond our mental capacities.
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There's no duality. Human beings are part of the
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manifestation, and thus we too are the Divine working through
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His Shakti. We don't recognize this because
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we're fixated on the ego, personality, the face of the
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Divine that we confuse as being separate.
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And this brings us to how we can appreciate and understand the
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Mother as a human individual, those who identify most closely
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with the Divine Shakti, they Pierce through the veil of the
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ego personality, and they can then be seen as direct powers
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and emanations of this Shakti, the Mother.
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So in the entire creation there are a range of beings who come
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forth to propel the manifestation forward, and those
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who are most conscious, who are least attached to the ego
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personality, to that ego of the Jiva experience, identify with
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and act from the force of the Shakti directly.
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Now Sri Aurobindo goes on in Chapter 6 to describe the four
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powers of the Mother, and this is really how we can understand
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the manifestation of the Mother as a human embodiment at the
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same time as relating to those larger divine powers that create
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that universe within which we reside.
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Fioravindo states the four powers of the Mother are four of
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Her outstanding personalities, portions and embodiments of Her
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divinity, through whom She acts on Her creatures, orders and
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harmonizes Her creations in the world's and directs the working
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out of Her thousand forces. Now the implication the divine
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Shakti works both impersonally and personally in the vast
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forces of the universe and in the smallest details of every
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atom and every being formed in the creation and acting in the
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world. Siarobindo goes on to state for
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the Mother is 1. But she comes before us with
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differing aspects. Many are her powers and
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personalities, many her emanations and vibutis that do
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her work in the universe. So the divine Shakti takes
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innumerable forms. It aren't incarnates to act in
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and upon the world with not only the diffused power implied as
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she works through the separate beings and forces she is
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created, but more directly through incarnations that embody
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more of this power in a conscious and powerful manner.
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Shrioro Bindo then goes on to state the one whom we adore as
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the Mother is the divine conscious force that dominates
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all existence. 1 And yet so many sided that to follow her
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movement is impossible even for the quickest mind and for the
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freest and most vast intelligence.
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The Mother is the consciousness and force of the Supreme, and
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far above all she creates. The implication here is that the
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human mind, as brilliant as anyone may be, can't judge,
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interpret, or fully comprehend the action of the divine Shakti
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and the creation of the universe.
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However much we try, we always reach a limit beyond which we
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cannot appreciate nor understand the action.
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And that's absolutely a truth that we experienced in the life
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and teachings of the Mother at the Sri Orabinda Ashram.
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Many, many people over the years tried to judge her based on a
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human standard, and her actions and her motives and her ways
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exceeded what they could follow. And only looking back through
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the lens of time and history can we begin to see the power that
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was at work and that is still at work as part of the transition
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that humanity is undergoing. As we move away from the
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limitations of the vital and mental framework that has
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brought us to the place we are today in the creation of the
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human society. But which has become a
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limitation and an obstacle to where we need to go.
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Trio Robindo goes on to to state further in chapter 6.
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But something of her ways can be seen and felt through her
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embodiments, and the more seizable because more defined
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and limited temperament and action of the Goddess forms in
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whom she can sense to be manifest to her creatures.
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And so people have somewhat of a confusing relationship to the
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divine and the divine Shakti. Some treat the divine as
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something totally separate from us, which can only be worshipped
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from afar. And then some treat the divine
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as embodied in a particular human being and only can be
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worshipped from near. And the difference between the
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impersonal and the personal is one that has created endless
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amounts of confusion for humanity in all of its religions
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and philosophies and ideas about life.
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So the idea that the Divine is both impersonal and personal,
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and that the personal is not limited by the human limitations
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that we all experience, simply because that manifestation has
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attenuated the veil and therefore directly communicates,
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understands, and carries out the will of the Divine much more
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clearly and directly than the rest of us do at this point in
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our evolution, is something that needs to be appreciated, even if
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not fully understood. So Shriya Robindo continues,
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there are three ways of being of the Mother of which you can
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become aware when you enter into touch of oneness with the
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conscious Force that upholds us and the universe.
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Transcendent, the original Supreme Shakti.
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She stands above the world's and links the creation to the ever
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unmanifest mystery of the Supreme Universal, the Cosmic
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Maha Shakti. She creates all these beings and
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contains and enters, supports and conducts all these million
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processes and forces individual. She embodies the power of these
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two vaster ways of her existence, makes them living and
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near to us, and mediates between the human personality and the
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divine nature. She sends her own emanations of
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them into these lower worlds to intervene, to govern, to battle
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and conquer, to lead and turn their cycles, to direct the
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total and the individual lines of their forces.
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These emanations are the many divine forms and personalities
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in which men have worshipped Her under different names throughout
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the ages. But also She prepares and shapes
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through these powers and their emanations the minds and bodies
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of Her vibutis, even as She prepares and shapes minds and
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bodies for the vibutis of the Ishwara, that She may manifest
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in the physical world and in the disguise of the human
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consciousness, some ray of Her power and quality and presence.
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So if we reflect on this, we can see that the Divine not only
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governs like a God up in heaven somewhere in a cloud, who
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creates the world and then lets everything fly, but also,
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besides having the original creation.
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And the force that gets set loose is able to embody and
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carry out that impulsion through the ages, through the entire
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universe, and at the same time creates individual beings and
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humans who can carry forward that process at the detail
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level. If you look at human beings in
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the vast universe, at the atomic level, if you will, we're
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nothing more than atoms in that universe.
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And yet that guidance and that force of direction is active
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within us as well as everywhere else in the universe.
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Triara Window continues. The Mother not only governs from
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all from above, but she descends into this lesser triple universe
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impersonally. All things here, even the
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movements of the Ignorance, are herself in veiled power and her
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creations in diminished substance.
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Her nature body and nature force, and they exist because,
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moved by the mysterious Fiat of the Supreme to work out
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something that was there in the possibilities of the Infinite,
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she has consented to the great Sacrifice, and has put on like a
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mask the soul and forms of the Ignorance.
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But personally too, she has stooped to descend here into the
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darkness, that she may lead it to the light, into the falsehood
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and error, that she may convert it to the truth, into this death
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that she may turn it to God, like life into this world, pain
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and its obstinate sorrow and suffering, that she may end it
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in the transforming ecstasy of her sublime Ananda.
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So Trioro Bindo has described for us the action of the Divine
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Shakti in its universal form, laying down the lines of the
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whole creation in its universal form of actually manifesting the
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vision and purpose of that divine intention.
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And in a personal form, in that it can actually interact with
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those beings that the Divine Shakti has created to help us,
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to guide us, to encourage us and to support us as we grow and
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widen our understanding and ourselves begin to attenuate the
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veil of the ego that masks the divinity from us in our daily
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lives. Just as the daytime and the
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sunshine masks the wideness and vastness of the universe that we
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can only see when the sun withdraws for a while, and in
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the night we can look out and see the countless stars and
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recognize that something far beyond our human intellect is at
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work here. So with this background, the
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question of the action of the mother becomes very relevant.
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And people wonder, well, how do we know?
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How do we see, How do we understand?
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And I say, well, each one of us has certain experiences in our
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lives that are inexplicable. Other than that, we have
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received a guidance, we have been granted A darshan, and we
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have been motivated and put forward on a path that we may
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not have considered previously through some event,
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circumstance, experience, whatever it may be.
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The the Bible talks about the experience of Saul on the road
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to Damascus where he was struck down with a a divine vision and
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his entire life changed. And I'm sure that many of us
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have had, if not as dramatic an experience I've had, turning
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points in our lives where we've begun to recognize that working
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and reading and interacting and eating and sleeping is just not
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enough, that there is a greater purpose for our lives.
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In my own experience, I was in college and blissfully ignorant
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of all these things, and after undergoing a near death
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experience, I woke up and the sun was shining through the
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window and I knew there was a divine Providence in the world
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and that my life was not to be a standard career in Western
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society. And a few weeks after that I
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dropped out of college and started studying yoga, which I
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had never had any interest or knowledge about.
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And it was in Europe at that time that the life divine was
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handed to me as a gift by a German philosopher with whom I
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was having regular meetings. And when I opened the book
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randomly to the chapter The Aim of Life 4 Theories of Existence,
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I immediately knew that this spoke to my soul.
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And that that's why I had undergone the suffering of the
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near death experience and the difficulty of separating myself
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from a totally Western career and path forward, and undertook
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the uncertain unknown path of studying and taking up a yogic
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pursuit. At some point after that I was
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back in the United States and I was visiting the East West
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Center in Los Angeles. And when I visited there one
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time, Udar Pinto from the ashram came to visit and he gave a talk
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and afterwards a number of us went out to dinner with him.
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And at the conclusion of the dinner, Udar told me you should
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come to Pondicherry, to the ashram.
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And I laughed. I said well that's a wonderful
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thing, I'd love to do it. I have no money.
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I've got no even thought of how I could make that happen or be
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real. And he said mother will provide.
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That evening I went back to my parents house where I was
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staying at the time, and I was confronted by my upset and angry
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parents who had never reconciled the idea that I had dropped out
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of college and gone off on this crazy search of yoga.
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And they confronted me and said you really need a psychiatrist
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and we'd like you to agree to have psychological counseling.
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And I said, well, I'm not really interested in doing that.
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I don't think I need that. I'm just fine where I am, thank
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you. And they said, well that's fine.
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If that isn't going to work. The only other thing we can
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think of to cure you of this insanity is we're going to give
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you a one year round trip ticket to Pondicherry and some fun so
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you can live there for a year and you can get it out of your
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system. Pure coincidence or the mother's
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operation behind the scenes? You decide.
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For me it was very clear that evening, Udar said.
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Come, the mother will provide and several hours later the
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ticket was provided. So we, we try to judge these
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things from our human standards. And I'm sure that everybody will
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think of all kinds of different excuses why this may or may not
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have been the mother's intervention.
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Because after all, who has that power as a human being?
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Who can manifest that? Who can play the strings of the
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divine orchestra at that level, down to the atomic individual
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level and make things happen? But I know in my heart with my
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gratitude that the Mother intervened in my life at that
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moment. So I went to live at the ashram
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and it was the spring of 1973, and you all probably know that
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1973 was a Seminole year in the mother's manifestation in a
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physical body. When I got there in May, she was
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already retired from coming out and her health was considered
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declining. Of course, some people were
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saying, well, she's doing inner work on her cells and some
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people will say, well, she's her health is failing.
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And again, who, who are we to judge that?
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Which human being can judge? And so we got to August and
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people were saying she's not coming out for the, for the
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darshan. It's not going to happen.
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She's just too weak and too frail and it isn't going to
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happen. It'll be cancelled or it is
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cancelled. And I went to bed on the night
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of the 14th of August knowing from everything I'd heard from
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everybody that the darshan had been canceled.
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And around 3:00 in the morning, I woke up to an electric shock,
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and I felt like my body was 6 inches above the ground.
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I just had this force working through me and I knew that the
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darshan was on and that the Mother would be coming out to
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bless everybody. Now we can have all kinds of
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explanations for this, but I know in my heart with my
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gratitude that the Mother was acting in Pondicherry on the
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devotees to wake them up to the upcoming darshan, which to her
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was an important activity, an important darshan.
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And I wasn't the only one. When I went to the ashram that
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morning, the sign was out. There will be a darshan this
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evening. I think it was 615, something
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like that. And people started gathering in
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the street as I also gathered in the street and it was raining
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cats and dogs. I mean, it was really raining
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and people were getting soaked and they were standing there in
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devotion. And then shortly before the
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darshan was to start, the rain stopped, the clouds parted, the
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sun came out, and the mother came out and appeared on the
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balcony and graced everybody with her darshan.
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And afterwards she went back in and the rain started up again.
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And I think everybody went away feeling like something
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miraculous had happened. Later she described to somebody
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that the rain was a super mental rain, that it was pouring down
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force on her devotees and that those who were there, we're
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being blessed by that rain. Now.
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Many had complained about the rain.
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Umbrellas were out. I had an umbrella, but I gave it
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away to somebody who was complaining about the rain.
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But it was very clear later that there was intentionality there.
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There was a force active there that we could not appreciate or
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understand. So we then come to November
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17th, the day of Mothers Maha Samadhi and I had been given the
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message that morning from the mother.
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It was actually a birthday message.
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I, I didn't know the process and I went in for my birthday on the
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16th of November to MP Pundit and he said no, you have to come
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in the day before to get the blessings on the birthday.
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And he said well no problem, we'll take it in, you'll get it
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tomorrow 17th. So I got the birthday blessings
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the morning of the 17th and the message was live within, be not
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shaken by outward happenings. And I was in a very abstracted
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state that entire day. It was almost like a walking
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trance everywhere I went. It was just like live within, be
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not shaken by awkward happenings.
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And it's so went so deep into my being that I was almost like non
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reactive. I was almost like in a zombie
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like mood, not really responding to anybody or anything.
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It was that intense. And I went back to where I was
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staying that night and in my sleep I had a dream.
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And the dream that there was this tremendous darkness choking
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everything on the planet. And then there was a brilliant
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light and the darkness was dispelled.
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And I was, I woke up from that dream basically sweating.
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And I used to work in the fruit room.
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So I had to get up early morning, like 4:00 in the
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morning, and head over to the fruit room on my cycle to the
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ashram to distribute fruits for the Sodex.
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And when I wrote wrote into the ashram area there, what did I
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see but a brilliant light everywhere.
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The whole ashram was lit up and there were people everywhere.
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And I asked innocently, what's going on?
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And I was told the mother left her body.
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Now people were crying, but I was still I was in this status
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of live within, be not shaken by outward happenings on the one
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side and this marvelous dream of the darkness choking everything
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and then the light dispelling it all that I had just had, that I
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was still shaking from. And I thought, this is an
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outward happening. The mother is active, I'm not
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going to cry. And for the next few days,
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people streamed in from all over the world.
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They streamed in in grief. They streamed in in tears.
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They were heartbroken. People who were devotees of long
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standing nature. And I was sitting, for those of
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you who have been to the ashram, probably all of you by the
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samadhi. There's some stairs that go up
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and there's a little balcony just over the samadhi.
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And I went up there and I just stayed there for several days
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for the most part and watched the people coming in and was
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still in this very abstracted, almost trance like state.
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And not really, I have to say. I wasn't even emotionally
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affected because something was preventing that from from
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happening. And I watched as people came in
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with their tears and their grief.
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And it was interesting. You have the samadhi.
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And then around the samadhi, the elder sonics were all sitting in
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deep meditation, unmoving, silent, powerful.
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And then the mother's body was laid in state back in the
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meditation hall, around the back behind MP Pundits office, over
41:30
by Nalini Da's office at the time, and the children from the
41:36
International Center of Education.
41:39
The children of the ashram formed a line holding hands,
41:43
guiding people in through the entrance along the wall back to
41:49
the meditation hall so people could have that last darshan.
41:54
And the children were radiant. And as people walked down there
42:02
and went to the back and then came back out, you could see
42:07
they were relieved of their grief.
42:10
They were relieved of their tears.
42:13
They were relieved of that heartbroken feeling.
42:17
And they felt at peace. And I thought, I've got to feel
42:24
what those kids are feeling because, and I was a kid, too.
42:27
I mean, I was in my early 20s, so it wasn't inappropriate, but
42:31
I went down there and joined hands with some of the children
42:35
for a while and there was an electric force running through
42:39
them and it was taking away the grief of the people coming in
42:46
and people had peace. So who knows?
42:55
Human beings will find endless intellectual reasons why all of
43:00
this can be explained. I know I'm, you know, I'm as
43:05
intellectual as the next person. And I can tell you I have not
43:11
found any explanation other than that it's beyond the
43:16
comprehension of the human mind. And therefore I can only sit
43:27
with gratitude and love and try to in some way be worthy of the
43:35
blessings that have been bestowed upon me and try to be
43:42
of some aid and comfort wherever I can in the world.
43:47
And that's really, you know, what I have to say about that.
43:51
Now, I want to add a couple things about the action of the
43:56
mother, because it's extraordinary.
44:00
Not just these personal actions, not just the force, but the fact
44:06
that this individual could take charge of an ashram that
44:11
eventually grew to thousands of people.
44:14
Set up departments that operated to care for the needs of those
44:19
people. Set up an international center
44:22
of education and educated children with new ideas about
44:27
education that has helped many, many of these children to
44:31
flourish in their lives and in their work.
44:35
And then founded the city of Oroville as an experiment and
44:40
laboratory for the development of new technologies to solve
44:48
humanity's crisis problems, the evolutionary crisis, as well as
44:54
be a cauldron of human unity where all of the different
44:59
cultures, religions, languages, viewpoints, social mores all
45:04
came together and were thrown together and said, figure it
45:09
out, folks. You've got to learn how to live
45:10
together. And they're struggling with
45:12
that, but they're trying. And that's wonderful.
45:17
And so who do we know, who can we think of, who can do that
45:23
kind of work and inspire 10s of thousands people around the
45:27
world to do work in their own way, in their own fields, in
45:31
their own place? Such as the work of Doctor and
45:36
Veena Choudhury, whom I have a great love and respect for
45:41
having worked closely with them at at various points in time,
45:45
and many, many others, Robert McDermott and, and Dave Ashish,
45:50
of course, and Kundan and and Tara and Delhi.
45:55
I mean, there's so many individuals that I have such a
45:59
deep respect for the work they do.
46:02
And it's all inspired by Shrioro Bindo and the mother.
46:07
And so I don't know if there's any questions, but thank you for
46:14
joining me in this exploration of the divine Shakti and her
46:21
transcendent, universal and individual manifestations.
46:32
Thank you so very much, Santosh. You know, I must say, ever since
46:38
I came here in the year 2000, I've heard many talks.
46:43
And if this was not the best, it most certainly is one of the
46:46
best. And I'm not saying this lightly.
46:51
And I choose my words very carefully to hear your
46:58
experiences with the mother. I have no words to to describe.
47:09
And therefore, I would say that if we could take a couple of
47:13
minutes, you know, to let this experience actually sink in
47:18
before we depart and have a conversation, this experience
47:23
that you have shared with us, it must go into our beings in a
47:27
state of silence. I know that I'm wearing away
47:33
from the normal practice that we have been having over the years,
47:39
but let's do that and then we'll come back and we'll have a
47:42
conversation. A couple of minutes, please.
49:29
Ma ma, I open the floor for discussions.
49:59
Earl has his hand raised. So I was just wonder, wondering
50:03
if you could unmute himself and pose this question.
50:10
Thank you, Kundan. I I am here in Lodi, Linda and I
50:18
live in San Francisco and we have a here place here in Lodi
50:23
and close proximity to Sri Rabindo Santona Eat them Santos.
50:32
Thank you for reminding us so deeply of of of the many ways of
50:38
the divine and I, I have felt a connection to you personally
50:45
that I have always been curious about and I'm delighted to share
50:52
with with all here. I, I was directed to you long
50:59
ago when I was missing a volume of, of mother pundits,
51:09
commentaries on the mother. And I've just felt this
51:15
connection and, and something you said has enlivened that you,
51:23
you, you, you mentioned this point where your parents gave
51:28
you this choice between psychiatrist and Pondicherry.
51:36
I have not been to Pondicherry. I have not been to India.
51:40
But I was given and taken and took that the choice of the
51:46
psychiatrist in this yoga. And that psychiatrist was
51:52
Richard Stein, who many of you may know, who was deeply, deeply
51:58
steeped in this yoga. And he had, he would, he had an
52:04
adesh to go to Pondicherry. And he arrived there on the very
52:13
day of the mother's Maha Mahdi. So he was there and I, I studied
52:21
and worked with Richard for, for many years.
52:25
And and so through him, I, I was there on that day as well,
52:33
without ever having been to Pondicherry.
52:36
And I, I carry the, the, the force of the mantra mandir.
52:41
And I, I feel all this and feel that in this yoga at its, at its
52:48
present stage, we, we have SASP here in Lodi, we have other
52:54
centers of force in this yoga and, and we can all deeply
52:59
participate in it from from where, wherever we are, it is a
53:04
universal force. So, so the, the path of the
53:07
psychiatrist really was an option if you found the right
53:11
psychiatrist. Thank you.
53:23
Thank you for sharing your I think you know, the people who
53:27
consider themselves as children of the mother.
53:32
She certainly is our psychiatrist.
53:33
You know, at least I can say for myself, you know, my mental
53:42
health would be badly affected, you know, if she's not around.
53:54
More questions, comments, shareings.
54:06
I think Mira has her hand up. Please unmute yourself and go
54:09
ahead, Mira. Hi, thank you, Santosh.
54:12
That was just wonderful. Yeah, the real experiences,
54:19
that's what gives us inspiration.
54:21
And I was wondering if you would mind sharing your near death
54:25
experience if that is not too personal.
54:30
It's not too personal. I was, I was involved while I
54:34
was in College in the movement against the war in Vietnam.
54:40
And I went to Washington, DC on something they called the
54:45
Mayday, and people from all over the country went there, and
54:50
thousands and thousands of people were there.
54:53
And I was a little too visible there, I guess.
54:58
But I was basically attacked while I was down there with a
55:05
plainclothes car came by and threw some liquid onto me, into
55:09
my eye, and I fell down on the street.
55:14
Some other people carried me to a first aid tent.
55:17
Probably saved my vision that night.
55:21
I came down with the worst blue cold, whatever that I'd ever
55:26
experienced in my life. I couldn't move, which meant I
55:29
didn't get arrested the next day and get shuttled into the big
55:34
stadium with the 10s of thousands of others and didn't
55:38
get part of the financial settlement.
55:41
But I went back to Michigan and a few weeks later I was
55:45
basically poisoned again. And that one stopped my
55:50
breathing and I didn't know what to do, but I heard a voice
55:57
inside that says do yogic breathing.
56:00
And I had no idea what that was, but something started breathing
56:03
me. I was in excruciating pain.
56:07
All my muscles in my whole body were spasm tight.
56:12
And it was only that process that got me through it.
56:15
And when it was over and actually someone saw me and said
56:21
you need a hospital. And I was so paranoid at the
56:24
time, I said I'm going into my room if I don't come out in
56:27
three days, do what you want with the body, but I'm not going
56:30
to a hospital. I didn't trust anything at that
56:33
point. And after it was over and I woke
56:37
up and I was looking out the windows when I saw the sun
56:41
shining and I knew there was a divine Providence and my life
56:45
changed, as I mentioned. And a few weeks later, a friend
56:50
of mine called me and said he was leaving for Europe.
56:55
And I said, well, give me a few more weeks.
56:57
Let me finish off the final exams of the term so that I
57:01
conclude my record cleanly and then I'll come with you.
57:06
And I knew that he was not going to stay there.
57:10
He was simply a vehicle to move me out of my existing life into
57:18
a new life, and then he would return, which is what happened.
57:29
Thank you. She certainly has a ways in
57:41
bringing us onto the path. Kicking and screaming.
57:48
Yeah, we don't take the path very easily, you know.
57:55
Yeah, and sometimes she takes the the form of Kali as she did
58:01
with me, but that's another story for.
58:04
Another time. More comments.
58:15
Hey Vishesh. Hi.
58:17
Hi, Devishita. Where are you?
58:21
Oh, hi. Welcome.
58:26
Thank you, thank you, Thank you, Santosh.
58:29
That was really very moving. And I've known you for so many
58:34
years. I actually didn't know the story
58:36
at all, particularly the whole year in Pondicherry that you
58:43
spent and your description of that last day was so graphic.
58:49
It really brought us there. It made us experience in detail.
58:54
What? Happened.
58:56
During the darshan and also and on the day of the Maha samadhi.
59:01
So I was, you know, basking in that entire experience with you.
59:09
But I wanted to ask you that part, which we are also always
59:16
the those who have never met the mother in person, curious about
59:22
you. You, you know, detailed every
59:26
aspect of that mahasama. I mean, not the Mahasama the,
59:31
the, the darshan day. Can you tell us something about
59:34
the darshan itself or what was that like when she came out and
59:40
she looked on the people and the people looked on her?
59:44
What was your experience of that?
59:46
Santosh, you know, everybody was I think in a state of utmost
59:55
devotion. And so the whole atmosphere that
1:00:00
we all experienced as a community, as a collectivity was
1:00:06
one of just absolute heart opening devotion.
1:00:12
I don't know that anybody, maybe others, experienced other
1:00:15
things, but that was really for me, the overwhelming force of
1:00:23
that day. The mother later described the
1:00:26
Super mental reign and all those things, but I don't know that
1:00:31
anybody that I've heard of or know of actually experienced it
1:00:36
that way. They just experienced this
1:00:39
outpouring of love and devotion and surrender of the ego that
1:00:45
that you feel in the presence of a being who is so manifestly
1:00:52
able to awaken those forces within each individual.
1:00:58
And of course, these were her children, her devotees, her, the
1:01:05
people she'd lived with and guided for so many years.
1:01:09
The the love and force that was there.
1:01:11
It was overwhelming. And, and I have to say, you've
1:01:17
never heard the story because I don't tell the story.
1:01:22
That's something that very, very few people have ever heard.
1:01:27
But when I was asked to speak about the mother, I have to
1:01:30
speak about my experience with the mother.
1:01:33
And so I decided it was an appropriate time and place to do
1:01:39
this. Thank you.
1:01:42
Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
1:01:46
And that that was the mother's last person, was it?
1:01:48
Not Santosh? Yes.
1:01:52
So it was very special, Very, very.
1:01:54
Special. Thank you.
1:02:01
We are definitely grateful to you for sharing this experience.
1:02:04
You know, I think it has definitely enriched us at the
1:02:07
fellowship. So much Santosh, I really
1:02:12
enjoyed hearing your experiences.
1:02:14
It was amazing, so beautiful. I really enjoyed it.
1:02:17
Thank you. More comments, more sharings.
1:02:43
Well, I just want to acknowledge what's already been said, my
1:02:48
appreciation for the presentation.
1:02:50
And, and I know sometimes that stories that are very deeply
1:02:56
important and personal to us, we need not to share very often
1:03:02
because it, it loses some of its mojo.
1:03:06
And so I appreciate that you read this moment, whatever the
1:03:11
elements were that came into it here at the ashram and just
1:03:16
really appreciating that it, it just, it's not just an, another
1:03:20
retelling. It's a very special moment.
1:03:22
And, and I and I'm grateful that I got to participate with you
1:03:25
and meet you today. So thank you.
1:03:37
I agree. On that note, I think we should
1:03:44
close today and thank you very much.
1:03:49
As I said, it was really wonderful.
1:03:51
Yeah. Boys won't be able to express
1:03:53
the gratitude that I feel for this event today.
1:04:00
Thank you very much and thank you everyone for joining.
1:04:04
Us, thank you. Thank.
1:04:05
You. Thank you, Santosh.