Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Remembering the GOOD TIMES with a narcissist

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Remembering the GOOD TIMES with a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about one thing that you need to
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  know about the good times with your with a narcissist, the good
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  times. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back folks. Yes, the good times with a
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  narcissist, right, right, right, right.
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  So many people in my comment sections, so many people in my
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  support group, so many people when I'm doing one on ones over
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  Zoom say this right here. But there were good times too,
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  Lee. The good times keep me there.
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  The good times keep me hoping that things will change and get
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  back to normal. Normal.
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  The normal from the beginning, you know, and I tell people,
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  yeah, it's normal. It might be normal in the
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  beginning, but what you're accustomed to now is what I
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  refer to as the new normal. This is you do a new normal
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  baseline of your relationship, and I know that there's going to
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  hurt a lot of people's feelings and people like, well, I don't
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  want this to be my new normal. This sucks.
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  Yes, it does. You know, the new normal can
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  suck, but this is what I tell people about the good times
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  right here. The good times typically come
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  after bad times. The good times are going to
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  typically typically come after or typically precede a bad time.
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  That's part of the roller coaster ride of dealing with a
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  narcissist or a toxic person right there, y'all?
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  That's part of the roller coaster existence that you will
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  have to like get used to in a toxic narcissistic relationship.
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  In the beginning, the good times just flow like water, right?
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  The good times were just flowing, but you couldn't stop
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  the good times. The good times were coming to
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  you just like left and right, left, right, left, right, down.
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  The good times were coming to you like a, like a old video
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  game code left, up, down, left, right, ABCABCA A/C, maybe a
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  CABB. They were coming to you left,
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  right, down. They were coming to you right.
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  But now the good times, they might not be fewer and far
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  between, but they always, always feel like they, there's a
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  special moment for them, right? They always seem like there's
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  something special going on in this moment, like, like the good
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  times are typically going to be preceded or followed by bad
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  times. If you look back in your memory,
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  not not the beginning of the relationship.
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  This could happen at the beginning of the relationship,
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  not the beginning. This is this is not going to be
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  in the beginning most times throughout the relationship.
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  Look at the good times and think about the surrounding moments.
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  Think about the before and after of those good times with their
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  narcissistic partner or ex or parent.
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  It could be your parent, your friend, your whatever whatever
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  relationship dynamic is think about when the good times come
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  up, because this this could be groundbreaking for you right
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  here. This could just shatter your
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  mind right here and just help you break finally breakthrough
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  of that trauma bond situation. Y'all keep.
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  I look at my phone got a message about my Facebook.
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  Hopefully I'll have my Facebook back here pretty soon.
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  Y'all, y'all know my Facebook got hacked for months.
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  I mean, on Facebook for months. But yeah, that's one thing
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  you'll notice about the good times.
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  Like they typically come after a bad time.
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  This is the roller coaster. Narcissists are going to do
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  something horrible to you, right?
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  A narcissist, but cheat on you, beat on you, lie to you,
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  manipulate you, steal from me, gaslight you, do something bad,
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  lie to you of the blue, Just do something horrible to you.
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  But then they'll follow it up with something nice, right?
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  They'll follow her up with a trip.
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  Hey, let's go take a trip. Hey, let's go do this.
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  Hey, let's go to the park, go to the movies.
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  Let's go do this. Here's your here's your PS5.
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  It's like they always try to make up for it.
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  And that's what keeps you stuck a lot of times.
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  Because it's not always bad. It's not always bad, Lee.
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  That's what keeps us stuck. Exactly.
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  But when is it good? When is it good?
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  Think about when it's good, not the beginning.
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  Let's not let's take off the chunk of the beginning, right?
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  This is like cutting off the beginning.
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  We're going to cut I did the middle finger.
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  We're going to take the if your relationship is a finger, we're
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  going to cut it off at the top, cut it off at the tip.
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  You may cut off the dead part of it.
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  The beginning of the beginning of your relationship with the
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  narcissist is the dead part. You cut off the tip, right?
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  We're going to see what the what the rest lies.
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  The good Times Now are typically going to be a maker.
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  They're, they're making up for something or they're, they're
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  trying to get ahead of something.
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  They're either making up for something or trying to get ahead
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  of something. Think about it.
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  Think about the best moments that you have in this toxic
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  relationship, right? Think about it, think about it.
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  Think about the best moments that you've had in this toxic
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  relationship dynamic. And they should be like, damn,
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  what happened right after that? Shortly after that, What
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  happened right before that was something Was it preceded or
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  followed by some horrible stuff? Because that's one thing you
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  need to realize, Willie. It's not always bad.
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  It's sometimes it's good. Yeah, that's the point.
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  Sometimes it's good. That's what keeps you stuck
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  because you know, they have the ability to treat you good.
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  But it's now it's not as often as it used to be or it seems
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  like it's only after a particular time or event that's
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  what be happening. That's I feel like that's what a
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  lot of people miss out on, that moment right there.
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  They understand like these good times when it was good.
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  It's always bad before or bad after.
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  Like if a narcissist, like some narcissists do have guilty
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  consciences, they blame you for it later on or right in the
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  moment, but they have a guilty conscience.
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  So if they're getting ready to go cheat on you, they like try
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  to act, try to clap your cheeks. They might actually try to sleep
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  with you right before they go cheat on you and you feeling
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  good. You like you post post you had
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  that post post Cueto bliss. You seen over this vial.
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  Like my boobs still love me and they I'll be right back going to
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  the store real quick. They take a shower to go to the
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  store. Like oh, take a shower.
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  We did just get nasty. We did just have nasty time.
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  That makes sense to take a shower and go to the store at
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  11:35 PM. OK.
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  Then they come back home and take another shower.
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  Like they come back home at 1:00.
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  Like what you doing? Why did you take another shower?
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  Oh, the store was thinking the store was nasty, but just what?
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  They slept with you so they couldn't be cheating on you,
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  right? They just slept with you.
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  They y'all just had fun. I just did something together.
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  Y'all were cuddling on the couch and they got a text message and
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  had to leave. Y'all were just chilling, right?
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  Y'all had a good dinner, great date night and they had to run
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  out really quick. They forgot something and they
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  go cheat on you. They make you feel good before
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  they go do something horrible. You see what I'm saying?
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  If you think about it, if you put two and two together, I'm
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  not too late. If you're already out of it, if
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  you're already out of it and over it, you don't have to
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  investigate it. I don't want to delve up.
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  Nothing dark or something like that, you know what I mean?
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  But sometimes this can help you. This can help you stay out of it
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  or not go back because some of y'all are focused on the good
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  times, but you don't think about when the good times are.
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  And that's extremely important. When the good times arise,
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  there's typically something bad coming or something bad has
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  already came. There's typically like it's this
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  is don't feel suspicious. You don't get a hunch.
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  Your intuition doesn't go off like the warning bells in your
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  head don't go off. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's what something we have. That's something you have to
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  consider right there. That's a mentality right there.
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  That's something mental that goes on right there that I'm
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  trying to let you know that I'm rooting for you.
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  I want you to win by any means possible.
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  But this is the mindset of a lot of talk, Talk talks, toxic,
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  abusive people. They will do.
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  They will do good deeds. They can be good at times.
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  It's not always bad if I'm doing my one on ones.
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  That's why I tell people, yeah, I'm like, yeah, it makes sense.
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  Like, well, it wasn't always bad.
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  Yeah, I know it wasn't. I tell people like, if it was
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  always bad, it would be easy for you to leave.
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  If it was 100% bad all the time, it would be easier for you to
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  leave. Because some people it's bad for
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  them and they still stay, but it's bad for them from the
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  beginning. But they feel like they're
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  blaming themselves. And you know, the narcissist
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  exposed themselves early on, but you feel like you have to blame
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  yourself. You have to prove a point so you
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  still stay. That makes sense to me because
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  they're a good time, but something makes sense when you
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  have something going on as well. Those people who stay through
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  the bad times when it's 100% bad, I feel like though they
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  have something mental going on as well.
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  You might have go, I'm not saying there's anything wrong
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  with you because I have a personality disorder.
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  I don't think anything's wrong with you, the personality
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  disorder, as long as you're working on it, right?
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  But I feel like you yourself can understand where I'm coming
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  from. Like there has to be something
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  rattling around with you to be thinking like, you know what?
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  I'm fine with this person treating me horribly from the
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  beginning has never done anything good for me, has never
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  told me I look good. I'm always trying to find, I'm
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  trying to earn their approval. You don't have to earn nothing,
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  you know, just think about that, y'all?
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  I'm just telling you, I just had this idea.
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  I'm sitting here thinking about ideas for videos and I get a lot
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  of ideas for my support group. My support group be coming
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  through. You know, we do.
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  We do the support groups in the morning or the afternoon.
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  They be coming through for me. Yeah, they really, really do.
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  And with the ideas and whatnot, with the video stuff.
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  But I just like the good time. I wrote it down.
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  It's right here. That's why I've got this idea.
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  The good times come after the bad times.
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  I wrote it down so I can do this video.
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  I just thought about it was going to my list.
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  I'm like, oh yay, just think about it, The good times come
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  after or before the bad times. Winter is not always badly, of
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  course. I know I got a little hype
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  y'all, but I appreciate y'all for sticking with me this long,
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  y'all. If y'all been rocking with you
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  from the beginning, y'all know how long I've been doing this.
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  I've been doing YouTube for three years now.
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  For 3 1/2 years. That's crazy, isn't it?
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  He would be like Lee, I followed you on TikTok since 2020.
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  What we've been writing. Y'all been rocking me for four
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  years. I appreciate every single one of
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  you. I really do.
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  I love y'all, I really do. I appreciate every single one of
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  you. I love y'all to death.
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  I I'm just so thankful for every every single one of y'all.
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  If y'all need anything, you notify me at mentalillness.net.
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  But just think about this. Consider this.
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  Y'all write your thoughts in the comment section.
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  Like you can leave a video idea in the comment section.
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  You can send the story time in or send your story send some
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  questions into my e-mail. I have a reaction channel called
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  Lee dot actions that you can follow.
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  All my story times over there on my voicemail break my text
• 10:22
  message breakdowns. All that stuff is on that
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  Channel because this channel is getting too clogged.
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  But with everything I anyway y'all subscribe to this channel.
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  This is up. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
• 10:36
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
• 10:37
  Helps reach more people and click on the screen to watch
• 10:39
  another video or to browse to another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 10:44
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.