Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / The Best of Episodes 61-70

Transcript

The Best of Episodes 61-70 · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Oh hey friends.
• 0:02
  Matt: Yes, I know.
• 0:03
  Matt: You've already seen the title.
• 0:05
  Matt: No new episode this week.
• 0:07
  Matt: It's a best of what had happened was I got sick and then proceeded to stay sick for like three weeks.
• 0:15
  Matt: And then even when I felt better, my voice sucked.
• 0:18
  Matt: So that's not good for recording.
• 0:20
  Matt: And then Eric, the audacity of this man, he got sick in the middle of it.
• 0:25
  Matt: And we didn't even see each other.
• 0:27
  Matt: So I didn't even have the honor of being the one getting him sick.
• 0:31
  Matt: We didn't kiss or nothing.
• 0:33
  Matt: Anyway, so it's the best of episodes 61 through 70, which came out all the way back in 2023.
• 0:43
  Matt: So I do hope you enjoy this little trip down memory lane.
• 0:48
  Matt: It was curated for you by Mr.
• 0:51
  Matt: Eric Poach.
• 0:53
  Matt: But don't worry, we'll be back with a new episode in two weeks' time.
• 0:57
  Matt: Until then, sit back, relax, and enjoy as what was once old is made new again.
• 1:06
  Matt: Clean but not sterile.
• 1:28
  Eric: It's really it's the specificity against all oddities for me.
• 1:33
  Eric: And this is what makes Against All Oddities a very generous scene partner.
• 1:38
  Eric: They are giving me so much ground, like they're giving me so much inquisitive ground to work with here.
• 1:43
  Eric: Clean but not sterile.
• 1:46
  Eric: So so obviously no visible dirt or soilage on the shears, but we but we they have not been, you know.
• 1:54
  Eric: But you're gonna need a tetanus shot.
• 1:56
  Eric: You're gonna need a tetanus shot.
• 1:58
  Eric: They have not been, they have not been sterilized, they have not been boiled, they have not been put through an autoclave, they haven't even been run through the dishwasher.
• 2:05
  Eric: I think uh the audience knows what sterile means.
• 2:08
  Eric: Okay.
• 2:08
  Eric: He looks wiry and fit, but not too strong.
• 2:12
  Eric: So that's again, I I know the guy, the kind of person they're describing.
• 2:16
  Eric: It's the kind of person I least want to fight.
• 2:19
  Eric: The scrappy, scrappy kind of scrappy.
• 2:21
  Eric: They got they got ooh, they got tricks up their sleeve.
• 2:25
  Matt: Yeah.
• 2:25
  Matt: They may be able to do that that thing where they run towards a wall and they run over you.
• 2:31
  Eric: Yeah, they may be capable of that.
• 2:33
  Eric: They they might be capable of that.
• 2:35
  Eric: My friend Steve Galindo was was was built like this, and he he could do that.
• 2:41
  Eric: He could run at a wall, run up the wall, and do a backflip.
• 2:44
  Eric: Yeah, that's what I mean.
• 2:45
  Eric: Blew my fucking mind.
• 2:47
  Eric: You can't trust such a person.
• 2:48
  Eric: No, especially not with a pair of garden shears garden shears.
• 2:51
  Eric: Not ones that are clean but not sterile.
• 2:53
  Eric: So he's offering cash for toes.
• 2:57
  Eric: He wants so in this scenario, he wants to take his clean but not sterile garden shears, snip off my little toesy woezies, my little piggies.
• 3:05
  Eric: Yeah.
• 3:06
  Eric: And with no sort of anesthesia, no sort of anesthesia, uh, I am responsible for infection control, as evidenced by the fact that, you know, he's at least, you know, they're not covered in blood or something.
• 3:17
  Matt: Your day is officially disrupted.
• 3:20
  Matt: You're going straight to an urgent care.
• 3:22
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 3:23
  Eric: And imagine explaining that.
• 3:25
  Eric: How much cash would you accept for each toe?
• 3:28
  Eric: What would your explanation be to the sorry, let's pause.
• 3:31
  Eric: What would your explanation be to the patient first people?
• 3:33
  Eric: Oh.
• 3:34
  Eric: You're you're hobbling into patient first, your new balance is full of blood.
• 3:41
  Matt: I don't think you need to explain anything.
• 3:42
  Matt: I think you walk in, they're gonna see the situation and go, cash for toes.
• 3:46
  Eric: You're telling me in.
• 3:47
  Eric: Oh, you meant Hector, huh?
• 3:57
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 3:58
  Eric: I need toes now.
• 4:00
  Eric: Called called JG Toesworth 877 Toes now.
• 4:04
  Eric: Wow, good work, man.
• 4:06
  Eric: Good pull.
• 4:07
  Eric: Thank you, thank you.
• 4:08
  Eric: Um JG Toesworth.
• 4:10
  Eric: JG Toesworth.
• 4:11
  Matt: Okay, so you're you're you're wearing an up to JG Toesworth.
• 4:15
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:15
  Matt: And he's offering you cash foresworth.
• 4:18
  Matt: I love instant classic character, JG Toesworth.
• 4:22
  Matt: And he walks up to you, he's wiry, and he's wiry.
• 4:28
  Matt: He's not wearing a shirt, but he's wearing slacks and a belt.
• 4:32
  Matt: He's offering you cash for toes, and behind him is a chorus of people going J G Toesworth 877 Toes now.
• 4:42
  Matt: Yes.
• 4:43
  Matt: They just follow him along.
• 4:45
  Eric: God, Sheb, what are you doing?
• 4:47
  Eric: Poor one out, babe.
• 4:49
  Eric: I yeah, originally I was kind of impressed.
• 4:50
  Eric: I was like, damn, he wrote that.
• 4:51
  Eric: He heard this joke from this child and then wrote that, cranked it out in like an hour.
• 4:56
  Eric: But it shows.
• 4:58
  Eric: I think we can acknowledge that.
• 4:59
  Eric: It shows when in the middle of the song, it's like, oh fuck, we need to we need to hit that like on the beat.
• 5:04
  Eric: We love short shorts.
• 5:06
  Matt: Okay, there it is.
• 5:06
  Matt: He also he is dead.
• 5:08
  Matt: He died in um 2003, but I have some important information for you.
• 5:14
  Matt: Oh fuck.
• 5:15
  Matt: He's also an actor.
• 5:16
  Matt: He played uh Cletus Summers, the principal uh in the 86 movie Hoosiers.
• 5:25
  Matt: Okay.
• 5:26
  Matt: He was in High Noon.
• 5:28
  Matt: Okay.
• 5:29
  Matt: He was Travis Cobb and the Outlaw Joseph, Josie Wales.
• 5:33
  Matt: But get ready, Eric.
• 5:35
  Matt: He's also the voice actor credited with providing the Wilhelm Scream.
• 5:43
  Matt: Are you fucked?
• 5:44
  Matt: Wow, that took you by shit.
• 5:49
  Matt: Surprise.
• 5:51
  Eric: You can't just hit me with that, Matthew.
• 5:54
  Matt: Chev Lowley, the flying purple people eater himself, is the Wilhelm Scream.
• 6:02
  Eric: Are you fucking kidding me?
• 6:05
  Matt: And if you're unfamiliar with the Wilhelm Scream, here it is.
• 6:09
  Eric: Oh my god, this is the greatest day of my life.
• 6:14
  Matt: That's the Wilhelm Scream.
• 6:16
  Matt: That's our man.
• 6:17
  Matt: Is it such a leaperic to suggest that Wilhelm is the protagonist of this song?
• 6:26
  Matt: And the scream is the scream he makes when eaten by the purple people eater who is a liar.
• 6:36
  Matt: And he just eats people.
• 6:38
  Eric: He just eats people after he rocks and rolls with them.
• 6:41
  Eric: Wait, hold on.
• 6:42
  Eric: Matt, I can't hear you.
• 6:43
  Eric: Oh shit, I can't hear you anymore.
• 6:45
  Eric: I think it's because you just dropped the fucking mic.
• 6:48
  Eric: That's right.
• 6:49
  Eric: Holy fuck.
• 6:49
  Eric: I'm sorry, hold on.
• 6:50
  Eric: I mean to say that's right.
• 6:53
  Eric: I I think what pissed me off more wasn't that you thought I should know that you didn't assume like you should have rightly been like the second it started happening, like, oh, let me text Eric immediately.
• 7:08
  Eric: But later on, as an afterthought, you're like, oh, maybe we should.
• 7:10
  Eric: But not only that, you didn't tell me your rankings.
• 7:14
  Eric: I had to ask like a beggar on the street what your fucking rankings were.
• 7:19
  Matt: Well, I didn't know you were gonna drag my name through the mud here.
• 7:23
  Matt: But yeah, I did I did I didn't necessarily uh You're forgiven.
• 7:27
  Matt: You're forgiven.
• 7:28
  Matt: Okay.
• 7:29
  Matt: I don't remember.
• 7:33
  Eric: Um I forgive you.
• 7:34
  Eric: But he did pr pretty much, pretty much immediately texted me back.
• 7:39
  Eric: They all texted their answers all at once.
• 7:40
  Eric: I got this lovely, lovely screenshot.
• 7:43
  Eric: Uh just gonna go through these, you know, Matt.
• 7:46
  Matt: Oh, sure, yeah.
• 7:47
  Matt: Go ahead, take it away.
• 7:48
  Eric: Would fuck Poe, marry Lala, kill Dipsy, uh, and abandon Tinky Winky.
• 7:53
  Eric: There are four of them we have to account for that.
• 7:55
  Matt: So the the fourth one is Tinky Winky's get uh abandoned or spared, however you want to look at it.
• 8:00
  Eric: Lindsay, fuck Tinky Winky, marry Lala, kill Poe, leave out Dipsy.
• 8:05
  Eric: Fuck Dipsy, yeah, I got it.
• 8:06
  Eric: Sarah, fuck Lala, marry Tinky Winky, kill Dipsy, spares Poe.
• 8:11
  Eric: Uh Carissa, fuck Dipsy, marry Lala, kill Tinky Winky, leave out Dipsyki.
• 8:17
  Matt: And then you had the odd.
• 8:18
  Matt: I'm gonna take over this narrative.
• 8:19
  Matt: Fascinating series of takes before you bury my name in the sand and uh our friends as well.
• 8:25
  Matt: Yeah, you then said this is a fascinating series of takes.
• 8:29
  Matt: That's exactly what you said.
• 8:30
  Matt: And then now for the correct one, this fucking asshole over here objectives back.
• 8:37
  Matt: Fuck Tinky Winky, marry Dipsy, kill Poe, spare La La.
• 8:42
  Matt: So I don't understand you, Eric.
• 8:44
  Matt: Would you would you care to explain your rationale?
• 8:47
  Matt: I get Tinky Winky, he's 10 feet fucking tall, and you're a giant, so I get it.
• 8:52
  Matt: I get it.
• 8:52
  Eric: We fit.
• 8:52
  Eric: We fit the eldest, he's the eldest Teletubby.
• 8:56
  Eric: He's the tallest.
• 8:56
  Eric: LGBTQ icon.
• 8:58
  Eric: I don't know if you remember that.
• 8:59
  Eric: I don't know if you remember the fucking, like America was just coated in a fine powder of pearlescent dust as as people across the nation just clutched their pearls so hard they crumbled them to the finest power over the fact that Tinky Winky had the audacity to have a bag.
• 9:17
  Eric: Was it Tinky Winky that had the bag?
• 9:18
  Eric: Oh, yeah, it was Tinky Winky.
• 9:20
  Eric: Yep, it was the red bag.
• 9:21
  Eric: People called it a purse.
• 9:23
  Eric: Uh some people said it's not a purse, it's a bag, it's satchel.
• 9:26
  Eric: And me over here, I'm like, let me just get at let me get at this teletope.
• 9:30
  Eric: Oh, you're right, it was bitch in bag.
• 9:33
  Matt: Yeah, you're right.
• 9:34
  Matt: It was Tinky Winky.
• 9:35
  Matt: Well, Tinky Winky's like 10 feet tall.
• 9:37
  Matt: Like, that's not an exaggeration.
• 9:38
  Matt: Yeah, no, like Tinky Winky fucks.
• 9:40
  Matt: So I get that, but like explain your rationale to me of why you would marry Dipsy and not Lala.
• 9:52
  Matt: So mine's very simple.
• 9:54
  Matt: I'm happy to, I'm happy to correct you right off the bat.
• 9:57
  Matt: I said fuck Poe because of that little circle thing on the top.
• 10:01
  Matt: I mean, I feel like that's fuckable, but not long term.
• 10:04
  Matt: Now think about Lala.
• 10:05
  Matt: Lala's got this fucking corkscrew thing at the top.
• 10:08
  Eric: Yeah.
• 10:09
  Matt: That's fun for years.
• 10:10
  Matt: You know what I'm saying?
• 10:10
  Matt: Think of the possibilities you can do.
• 10:13
  Eric: But also, like Lala is like the most one of the most innocent of the teletubbies.
• 10:18
  Eric: Like it like she sings, she she's just out there like dancing, looking out, like she's the Hufflepuff of the Teletubbies.
• 10:27
  Eric: I I'm like, you don't want no part of this mess.
• 10:30
  Eric: Like, like Lala walks into the room, there's me, you know, mid mid-coitus with Tinky Winky, putting the ring on Dipsy's finger, gun to the head of Poe, and I'm just like, Lala, get out now.
• 10:43
  Eric: Go, you don't want no part of this.
• 10:44
  Eric: Leave this one.
• 10:46
  Matt: Get out now and come to me so we can have a stable, long-term, loving, and very sexually fulfilling relationship.
• 10:52
  Eric: But as to why I'm marrying Dipsy, so named for the dipstick appendage, the very straight, like, just like rigid.
• 11:00
  Eric: It's a fucking dagger.
• 11:01
  Eric: It's a weapon up there.
• 11:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 11:03
  Eric: Uh so Dipsy is known to be, and I'm all this information coming to you live from Wikipedia, donate today.
• 11:10
  Eric: Dipsy is the most they call it stubborn of the Teletubbies and will refuse to go along with the other's group opinion.
• 11:19
  Eric: If I'm marrying someone, I want some like fucking put me on the right, like hold me accountable, fucking put like fucking no nonsense, fucking that kind of stability.
• 11:32
  Eric: If I'm gonna marry anybody, I mean fucking Dipsy.
• 11:36
  Eric: I like even I'm not on like Dipsy's not just gonna go along with bullshit, Dipsy will call me out on it, and that's what I value.
• 11:42
  Matt: Yeah, and then you it potentially can that he'll use baller with that fucking dagger it's got on its head.
• 11:51
  Matt: Because it's not it'd be easy, it'd be low-hanging fruit to call it a dildo up there, a little penis.
• 11:56
  Matt: It's it is not, it's too it's too pointy to be phallic, in my opinion.
• 12:01
  Eric: And it's made, it's made of terry cloth.
• 12:04
  Matt: I don't think it'll be enjoyable when it gets all up in you.
• 12:08
  Matt: And I don't think that's something you're considering.
• 12:10
  Matt: I don't think you're considering the inherent violence in the head.
• 12:14
  Matt: Oh, I'm considering it.
• 12:15
  Matt: Whoever the fuck we're talking about.
• 12:17
  Matt: I forget already.
• 12:18
  Matt: Dipsy.
• 12:19
  Matt: Uh my my husband Dipsy.
• 12:22
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:23
  Eric: Well Dipsy Poach.
• 12:24
  Eric: Dipsy, Dipsy Poach.
• 12:27
  Eric: I I want Also that just rolls right off the fucking tongue.
• 12:30
  Eric: Dipsy poach.
• 12:31
  Eric: Yeah.
• 12:32
  Matt: I've gone down a rabbit hole from the question, which is life insurance or car insurance.
• 12:37
  Matt: Car insurance is for something you own, part of your property.
• 12:42
  Matt: Life insurance is for your your human body.
• 12:45
  Matt: So in the cars universe, it's gotta be life insurance.
• 12:48
  Matt: It's gotta be life insurance.
• 12:49
  Eric: Because also kind of horrifying to think about with car insurance, there's a point at which insurance tells you, no, this is not worth saving.
• 12:57
  Eric: And if they tell you that while you're on the fucking operating table, not great words to hear.
• 13:03
  Eric: Yeah, you're totaled.
• 13:05
  Eric: You're totaled, lightning.
• 13:07
  Eric: You're totaled.
• 13:09
  Matt: You're better, it'd be better for your family to just get a new son.
• 13:13
  Eric: Jesus Christ.
• 13:14
  Eric: I'm imagining like the mechanics just shit talking.
• 13:16
  Eric: You're a disaster, my guy.
• 13:19
  Eric: You're done.
• 13:20
  Matt: We should just make a new you because there's no point in bringing this one back.
• 13:24
  Eric: Bro, we're gonna turn you into license plates.
• 13:27
  Matt: Yeah.
• 13:28
  Matt: I'm afraid it's all over for you.
• 13:30
  Matt: Uh Ignition off.
• 13:32
  Matt: So, yeah, I think at the core of your question there, Conway, I think it's life insurance.
• 13:38
  Eric: Life insurance.
• 13:39
  Matt: I think that makes the most sense too.
• 13:40
  Eric: If we're having if we need some semblance of of ethics in this universe, some semblance of of of fucking just normally.
• 13:49
  Matt: Because if you want an uh a presentation of good ethics, get into insurance uh in the United States.
• 13:56
  Eric: That's the correct fact.
• 13:59
  Eric: Well, I'm speaking purely from those like, well, it's either, yeah, I get my family gets a bunch of money if I die, or versus car insurance, the docs might just decide halfway through that to euthanize me.
• 14:11
  Matt: Anything's possible.
• 14:12
  Matt: Only in America.
• 14:13
  Matt: I want to meet a Hershey adult.
• 14:15
  Matt: But he does have a a rather I want to meet a Hershey adult as well.
• 14:18
  Matt: I want to meet a Hershey adult.
• 14:19
  Matt: Yeah.
• 14:19
  Matt: I want to meet a what it what is a Hershey adult like?
• 14:23
  Matt: Yeah, I I don't know.
• 14:24
  Matt: Maybe I'm stepping out of my lane here, but you're looking at him, baby.
• 14:27
  Matt: I think you're a Hershey adult.
• 14:29
  Matt: I love a Hershey.
• 14:31
  Matt: I can tell you what my riding status is right off the bat.
• 14:35
  Matt: What?
• 14:36
  Matt: Jolly Rancher, baby.
• 14:38
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 14:38
  Matt: Yeah.
• 14:38
  Matt: You Jolly Rancher?
• 14:39
  Matt: Have you been you've been to Hershey Park?
• 14:42
  Eric: I've been to Hershey Park many a time.
• 14:43
  Matt: Yeah, you're a Jolly Rancher.
• 14:44
  Matt: You're beyond a Jolly Rancher.
• 14:45
  Matt: I am the Jolly Rancher.
• 14:47
  Matt: You sure are, buddy.
• 14:50
  Matt: You sure are.
• 14:52
  Eric: Uh Disney adults.
• 14:53
  Eric: Um they not only know, they have the park rides down to a science.
• 15:01
  Eric: Like they have their own like special tailored formula for what order to attend the rides from Max.
• 15:06
  Eric: They know the secret paths to go down.
• 15:09
  Eric: They know the secret paths.
• 15:10
  Eric: They know all you they're the ones giving you tours of each ride while you're on them.
• 15:15
  Matt: But it goes beyond a relationship with the park.
• 15:18
  Matt: I think it it has a like a dedication to every new Disney movie that comes out.
• 15:27
  Matt: Oh there's there's a dedication to like I like Disney, but I'm not automatically seeing every new animated movie that comes out.
• 15:37
  Matt: I it's gotta get hyped to me first.
• 15:40
  Matt: Yes.
• 15:40
  Eric: And even then, maybe I I I gotta get the oh, have you seen Encanto before I'm like, yeah, there's a new Disney movie out?
• 15:50
  Matt: Like that is how I saw Encanto.
• 15:52
  Matt: Yeah.
• 15:52
  Matt: Like because so many people are like, oh my god, it's so good, you gotta see it.
• 15:56
  Matt: And it was like, all right, we'll turn that on, turn this on, you know, like but like I am not like counting down days to release days of just children's movies by my but without some context.
• 16:08
  Eric: I know people who were planning tattoos based off of characters before the show, before the movie even dropped.
• 16:14
  Eric: Just because like they go, they go in hard.
• 16:18
  Matt: Yeah, I think there is I don't know, it is hard to even trying to lay down these hard and fast like qualifications of like you are a Disney adult.
• 16:30
  Matt: Is I'm finding it a little difficult because there is like this ephemeral nature.
• 16:36
  Eric: Here, here's what it is.
• 16:38
  Eric: Matt, let's say we're on a first date.
• 16:40
  Eric: Every every episode's a first date.
• 16:41
  Eric: There, thank you.
• 16:42
  Eric: There are certain things that like you're kind of uh obligated to bring up on a first date if if they qualify for you.
• 16:52
  Eric: Like like I have a kid.
• 16:55
  Eric: Yes, I I like that kind of stuff, like I I or like I was married, I was divorced, like stuff like like just like stuff that's good for the other person.
• 17:06
  Eric: The headline news, yes.
• 17:08
  Eric: If one of your first date preambles is I have a particular relationship with Disney, like if you have to like prime the other human being, like, hey, you need to know this about like you need to know what you're signing on to.
• 17:23
  Eric: We're gonna be going to the parks, we're gonna be we're gonna be getting dinner in the Enchanted Castle.
• 17:27
  Matt: Or if they in any way are able to put that together without you saying that, let's say you whip out a Mickey Mouse credit card, or have have any sort of Disney iconography anywhere on your person.
• 17:46
  Eric: Yeah.
• 17:48
  Matt: Yeah, I think you're a Disney adult.
• 17:50
  Eric: If after, like, you know, a very successful first date, you know, establishing common interests and stuff, turns out you both love it.
• 17:57
  Eric: If your wedding invitations, like if the save the dates have be our guest on them.
• 18:04
  Eric: Your motherfucking Disney adult.
• 18:07
  Eric: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• 18:11
  Matt: I think, I think it's a little like porn.
• 18:15
  Matt: Go on.
• 18:16
  Matt: You know it when you see it.
• 18:22
  Eric: Oh, I didn't know you were busting out the Supreme Court's definition of lewd acts.
• 18:26
  Eric: Matt, do you do you ever ask Lindsay or does Lindsay ever ask you like hypotheticals?
• 18:36
  Eric: Like oh yeah.
• 18:37
  Eric: Like like relationship hypotheticals.
• 18:40
  Eric: Uh uh Probably.
• 18:42
  Eric: Give me an example.
• 18:43
  Eric: Um very, very common one these days.
• 18:46
  Eric: You'll see it around often.
• 18:48
  Eric: Um my girlfriend has asked me this.
• 18:51
  Eric: The question, would you still love me if I was a worm?
• 18:54
  Eric: Oh, sure, yeah.
• 18:55
  Eric: Yeah, like standard fare.
• 18:57
  Eric: Like that kind of stuff.
• 18:58
  Eric: Umyssa has asked me that no less than like three dozen times.
• 19:03
  Matt: Like she'll say, Yeah, and I hope you said no.
• 19:05
  Matt: I mean, you're not gonna be seen with no worm, right?
• 19:07
  Eric: I would I I would be seen with a worm.
• 19:10
  Eric: If she was that worm.
• 19:12
  Eric: That's disappointing.
• 19:13
  Eric: She's good little worm.
• 19:14
  Eric: Get her, get a little, get a little jar, put some some put some dirt leaves in there.
• 19:20
  Eric: Keep her gotta keep her moist in the recreate her environment.
• 19:23
  Eric: Yeah, I gotta mist her every now and then.
• 19:25
  Eric: Yeah, give her a little good miss.
• 19:26
  Eric: So here's the questions I ask my my partner.
• 19:31
  Eric: Um and I I'm gonna share the question with you.
• 19:36
  Eric: Um, it's the post-apocalypse.
• 19:38
  Eric: And in this scenario, you're gonna be my girlfriend, that I thought I already was, so that works for me.
• 19:43
  Eric: So here we go.
• 19:44
  Eric: Babe.
• 19:45
  Eric: Yeah, it's the post-apocalypse.
• 19:48
  Eric: Society has well aware of that.
• 19:50
  Eric: You tell me every day.
• 19:51
  Eric: Yeah, no, but like actual, like it is we are we are full-blown, it we are mad-maxing, fighting over the irradiated wastes of Dundalk.
• 20:02
  Eric: Like, we're in a scavenging party, we have uh armor made out of tires, someone's got a football helmet on with spikes.
• 20:11
  Matt: Babe, we're eating a roast rabbit.
• 20:13
  Matt: I know this.
• 20:14
  Matt: Why are you telling me?
• 20:15
  Eric: Okay, but like if in this post, if it was the post-apocalypse, and if we were in the like we're we're out, we're out there fighting, and in the middle of the fight, we're we're we're fighting some mutants.
• 20:26
  Eric: Um and I I get I get wounded, and you see the the mutant.
• 20:31
  Eric: The mutants have me.
• 20:32
  Eric: They're they've got like their their hooks in me, and they're like dragging me off, and like they're they're they've captured me.
• 20:40
  Eric: I am I am in the middle.
• 20:42
  Eric: I am they're going to take me.
• 20:44
  Eric: It's over for you.
• 20:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 20:45
  Eric: And there is nothing good waiting for me back at the at like the murder dome.
• 20:51
  Eric: I can't imagine.
• 20:52
  Eric: Um, would you shoot me between the eyes?
• 20:55
  Eric: Like, would you right right between the eyes?
• 20:57
  Eric: Like, would you put would you would you would you as opposed to try to rescue you?
• 21:01
  Eric: No, no, no, no.
• 21:02
  Eric: That like that's what I mean.
• 21:03
  Eric: Like, we're you it is we are losing this fight.
• 21:07
  Eric: There's no like they if they take me, they're like, you're never gonna see me again, at least not in this shape.
• 21:13
  Matt: And you want me to hawkeye last of the Mohicans you immediately?
• 21:18
  Eric: Yeah, like like would you be willing?
• 21:19
  Eric: Like, would you do that if you saw them?
• 21:21
  Eric: They are they are taking me, I am gone.
• 21:23
  Eric: No, you wouldn't.
• 21:25
  Eric: I would try to rescue you first.
• 21:28
  Eric: You know what's fucked up?
• 21:29
  Eric: Alyssa said she would.
• 21:31
  Matt: Yeah, okay, that's why I'm telling you, don't be with a worm, Eric.
• 21:35
  Eric: I Matt, I spent like never trust a worm.
• 21:39
  Eric: To Alyssa's credit, she spent 15 minutes trying to like Mr.
• 21:42
  Eric: Smith goes to Washington.
• 21:43
  Eric: She was like, but she was like, you she's like, you swear there's like nothing I can do.
• 21:47
  Eric: I was like, Alyssa, there's nothing you can do.
• 21:50
  Eric: It is it is a foregone conclusion.
• 21:53
  Eric: Goodbye.
• 21:54
  Eric: I the best thing that'll happen to me is I'm eaten.
• 21:58
  Eric: Like, that is all right, it is, and she's like, fucking, like, she's agonizing over this decision.
• 22:05
  Matt: All right, so I would do it.
• 22:06
  Matt: I'm gonna give you a different hypothetical.
• 22:08
  Matt: All right, yeah, because you know, I I don't uh you know, I'm making a bit here, Alyssa.
• 22:13
  Matt: I know you're listening.
• 22:14
  Matt: Calm down.
• 22:16
  Matt: Everything's alright.
• 22:18
  Matt: No, no one's coming for your worm man, okay.
• 22:22
  Matt: It's not your fault that you're a worm, okay?
• 22:25
  Matt: A little tiny worm who won't go rescue her man.
• 22:28
  Matt: You you don't worry, man.
• 22:30
  Matt: How can I rescue your fucking worm?
• 22:32
  Matt: Yeah, what are you even gonna do?
• 22:35
  Matt: Okay, it's okay.
• 22:36
  Matt: It's okay.
• 22:37
  Matt: But I do think this is a good opportunity to change the hypothetical ever so slightly to include because you don't you you have a girlfriend.
• 22:46
  Matt: I don't need to be your hypothetical girlfriend, okay?
• 22:49
  Matt: What I am, however, is if I could be so bold, the only other important relationship in your life.
• 22:55
  Matt: Oh, yes, yes, of course.
• 22:56
  Matt: For that reason, let's change the hypothetical slightly to there's Alyssa, there's me, and there's you getting abducted by the meat hook goblins.
• 23:06
  Eric: Yeah, yes, yes.
• 23:08
  Matt: Okay.
• 23:08
  Eric: They are chanting to their the the undetonated nuke that they have back at their base that they work.
• 23:15
  Matt: Absolutely, that they worship every night.
• 23:17
  Matt: Yes, absolutely.
• 23:18
  Matt: You're the gonna be the sacrifice, and God only knows what that sacrifice looks like.
• 23:22
  Eric: Oh, it does not involve me having skin, I can tell you this much.
• 23:25
  Matt: So there's Alyssa.
• 23:26
  Matt: She's gonna be she's gonna be weeping, she's gonna be taking out her her her pipe rifle, you know.
• 23:32
  Matt: Yes, her ramshackle gloss fashioned together, and very cute, too.
• 23:38
  Eric: Like she paints like little little little cute little creatures and stuff like that.
• 23:41
  Matt: Oh, and she's gonna be crying.
• 23:42
  Matt: The tears.
• 23:42
  Eric: Oh, the tears.
• 23:43
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 23:43
  Eric: It's gonna be a little bit more.
• 23:44
  Eric: It'll be very aesthetic.
• 23:45
  Matt: It'll be very good because she's gonna know what she has to do.
• 23:48
  Matt: You've had this conversation, right?
• 23:50
  Matt: There's no help for you.
• 23:52
  Matt: You're going down, sugar.
• 23:54
  Matt: And she takes that gun, she adjusts her sight through the tears.
• 24:00
  Matt: And you can hear like the Yes, you can hear all that.
• 24:05
  Matt: She's got it pointed.
• 24:06
  Matt: You guys are locked in eye contact.
• 24:08
  Matt: The only people in the world, you're barely aware that you're gonna be able to do it.
• 24:11
  Matt: I'm mouthing the words do it.
• 24:13
  Matt: Do it, you're mouthing the words do it, and they've got their meat hook hands directly into your skin because they only have hooks for hands.
• 24:21
  Matt: They don't have hands.
• 24:23
  Matt: And so they're just gotcha, you're bleeding out.
• 24:26
  Matt: And she she wraps that finger of hers around the trigger, and then a slap to the face as I grab the pipe rifle and say, get back, worm, and charge into battle.
• 24:38
  Matt: You're not going down without me, you son of a bitch!
• 24:41
  Eric: You get your hands off of my lanky friend.
• 24:44
  Eric: In Dungeons and Dragons, there are mechanics like initiative, action, and bonus action.
• 24:49
  Eric: What would some of those be in real life for your own reality?
• 24:53
  Eric: And why would you choose those to be your actions and bonus actions and such?
• 24:57
  Eric: And what would your initiative be?
• 25:00
  Matt: To advocate for those who might not be familiar.
• 25:02
  Matt: What is the difference between an action and a bonus action?
• 25:05
  Eric: Uh, action, so everyone on their turn in combat, you get actions.
• 25:08
  Eric: Uh, and you you can use an action to attack, you can use an action to cast a spell most of the time.
• 25:13
  Eric: Um, and then a bonus action, there's like a huge list of bonus actions you can take, and this can be stuff like taking a five-foot step away from an enemy or preparing to do something else.
• 25:26
  Eric: And like you can there's a lot of options for what you can do, but you only get like one bonus action.
• 25:30
  Eric: So it's like the little thing you can do in addition to the thing, like I can smack a goblin with a sword, and then as a bonus action, I can ready my crossbow for the next round.
• 25:38
  Eric: Got it.
• 25:38
  Eric: Like stuff like that.
• 25:40
  Eric: I feel like my bonus actions, a vast majority of the time, are a second, a second skill check to try to correct the thing I just missed or fucked up.
• 25:51
  Eric: Like you have attempted to put this thing on a shelf.
• 25:54
  Eric: You have knocked over three things in the process.
• 25:56
  Eric: Roll bonus action to try to catch them.
• 26:00
  Eric: Try to stop that from happening.
• 26:01
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:01
  Eric: If it isn't the consequences of my own actions, back again for revenge.
• 26:08
  Eric: Welcome back.
• 26:09
  Eric: I did have a very fun moment uh the other day.
• 26:12
  Eric: I I pulled a real life bluff check against a cop um because I was driving home from work and on this long, it's like this long stretch of road before you get to my neighborhood.
• 26:24
  Eric: And typically on this road, it's just a long stretch of road with like a single light, uh, but there's a lot of side roads.
• 26:30
  Eric: So usually like I'll be driving along and a car will suddenly like start slowing down or stopping to turn down one of these side roads, but there might be cars coming though.
• 26:38
  Eric: It's a two-lane road, like one going one way, one going the other way.
• 26:41
  Eric: You all know you're familiar with roads.
• 26:43
  Eric: You know, roads, am I right?
• 26:45
  Eric: Am I?
• 26:45
  Eric: Come on, listen to this.
• 26:46
  Eric: Well, usually, like if a person stops there and there's like a bunch of cars coming the opposite way, I'll be stuck there for a while waiting for this person to like turn it.
• 26:54
  Eric: So I'll just like do that thing where you kind of dip around them on the shoulder, because like there's plenty of shoulder.
• 26:59
  Eric: So you just do the little dip.
• 27:00
  Eric: Yeah, just do that little thing that breaks the law.
• 27:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 27:03
  Eric: Yeah.
• 27:03
  Eric: Yeah.
• 27:04
  Eric: Wow.
• 27:04
  Eric: Um so I did that.
• 27:06
  Eric: Kind of a bad boy, kind of a kind of a rebel.
• 27:09
  Eric: Put us in the comments for more road content.
• 27:11
  Eric: Yeah.
• 27:11
  Eric: But I went to do that.
• 27:12
  Eric: I saw this guy stopping, and I I you know, because I'm lazy, and which has already been established as driving on the shoulder momentarily, momentarily, because I'm lazy, I I got over on the shoulder early.
• 27:24
  Eric: So I was I was hanging out in that shoulder for like a second.
• 27:28
  Eric: There's only like two or three cars on this road, by the way.
• 27:30
  Eric: It's not like there was traffic and I was riding the shoulder.
• 27:33
  Eric: Those people can go to hell.
• 27:34
  Eric: But as I'm passing this car, I realize it wasn't just one car stopped, it was like three, and sandwiched between three cars was a fucking cop.
• 27:41
  Eric: So the cop just had this lovely view of me driving up the shoulder.
• 27:45
  Eric: At which point, as soon as I see the, I look over, see the cop, and my brain reflexively, I hit the emergency blinkers on the car and I pull to a stop and I park.
• 27:55
  Eric: And then the cop pulls up, like, because the cop did that thing.
• 27:59
  Eric: As soon as I passed him, he started, he started like like moving to to engage.
• 28:04
  Eric: He pulls up beside me, he's like, hey, everything all right.
• 28:06
  Eric: And I just, without even thinking, I'm like, oh yeah, check engine light came on.
• 28:10
  Eric: I just wanted to pull over, check under the hood, make sure everything's okay.
• 28:12
  Eric: And he's like, Oh yeah, that makes sense.
• 28:14
  Eric: And he drives.
• 28:15
  Eric: Eric.
• 28:16
  Eric: Did you get out of the car and check over the hood?
• 28:19
  Eric: Oh, motherfucker, you better believe her.
• 28:21
  Eric: As long as that cop car was in line of sight of me, I got out of the car, lifted the hood, touched the touched a finger to my chin, like, mmm, yeah.
• 28:31
  Matt: Let's just see what's going on in the air.
• 28:33
  Eric: That's an engine.
• 28:34
  Eric: Still here.
• 28:35
  Matt: Yeah.
• 28:36
  Matt: Just as I suspected, that's the windshield washer.
• 28:40
  Eric: I literally, I opened it up and just said out loud to no one but me, I was like, Yep, that's an engine.
• 28:45
  Eric: It's checked.
• 28:46
  Eric: I do the same shit.
• 28:48
  Eric: And then got back in the car, waited a beat, and then pulled off.
• 28:52
  Eric: Pull the dipstick out.
• 28:54
  Eric: Huh.
• 28:56
  Matt: I haven't pulled one of these out in quite some time.
• 28:58
  Matt: I really have not.
• 29:00
  Matt: I don't change my own oil.
• 29:01
  Matt: Come on.
• 29:01
  Matt: What am I?
• 29:02
  Matt: A peasant.
• 29:03
  Matt: What are you?
• 29:04
  Eric: A minicing?
• 29:04
  Eric: What were we talking about before you accuse.
• 29:08
  Eric: No, I I don't want to create a classist society, Matthew.
• 29:12
  Eric: I want to create a classy society.
• 29:14
  Eric: I want I classy and not classist.
• 29:19
  Eric: Where a warlock can earn by the sweat of his brow and and the the the leather of his tome.
• 29:27
  Eric: Yes.
• 29:28
  Eric: Go off, King.
• 29:34
  Matt: Come on.
• 29:35
  Matt: Come on, tell me.
• 29:37
  Matt: Tell me how it could be.
• 29:39
  Eric: Oh man.
• 29:40
  Eric: Where where where a thief a humble thief or a humble thief can can steal an an Aladdin esque loaf of bread with impunity and level up from street rat to prince.
• 29:57
  Eric: Oh my god, yes.
• 29:58
  Eric: Where where your local priest can kick the ass of the demon that's inhabiting you know your your spouse.
• 30:09
  Eric: Literally smite the shit out of him.
• 30:12
  Matt: Yeah, I kind of lost what Disney film we're talking about now.
• 30:15
  Eric: I where a simple village girl can go from simple village girl to level 20 fighter over the course of a movie.
• 30:27
  Eric: Indeed.
• 30:28
  Eric: And save all of China.
• 30:30
  Matt: Yeah, but that was only with the help of uh Donnie Osmond.
• 30:32
  Matt: Oh, I always forget that Donnie Osmond.
• 30:34
  Matt: Through the power of song.
• 30:36
  Matt: But only the singing voice.
• 30:37
  Matt: He's only the singing voice.
• 30:39
  Matt: Yes.
• 30:40
  Matt: Oh man, good old Donnie.
• 30:42
  Matt: I think they almost got it right.
• 30:46
  Eric: You heard it here first, folks.
• 30:48
  Eric: Matt thinks they almost got 9-11 right.
• 30:51
  Eric: Didn't have that one on the bingo card.
• 30:55
  Eric: God.
• 30:57
  Matt: That I I never claimed that Fallout Boy was responsible for 9-11.
• 31:02
  Matt: I never claimed that.
• 31:04
  Matt: All I said is it can't be proven.
• 31:07
  Matt: It can't be proven.
• 31:09
  Eric: Just look at the facts.
• 31:10
  Eric: Do your own research.
• 31:12
  Eric: Matthew.
• 31:12
  Eric: Where were you?
• 31:13
  Eric: Where were you, Fallout Boy?
• 31:16
  Matt: Where were you, Fallout Boy?
• 31:18
  Matt: Anyway, the origin the original We didn't start the Fire ends with JFK blown away.
• 31:24
  Matt: What else do I have to say?
• 31:26
  Matt: Poetry in motion, Billy.
• 31:27
  Matt: Yes.
• 31:28
  Matt: I think it is appropriate to a generational equivalent, so to speak, in terms of where were you type events, that they put 9-11 in the same spot as where JFK blown away was.
• 31:43
  Eric: That scans.
• 31:43
  Eric: That absolutely scans.
• 31:45
  Matt: But what their lyric is, and uh same beat, you know, same everything.
• 31:48
  Matt: It's just cover with different lyrics.
• 31:50
  Matt: What their lyric is world trade second plane.
• 31:56
  Matt: What else do I have to say?
• 31:58
  Eric: And here's what I would say.
• 31:59
  Eric: What what what what would you have done in fall in Mr.
• 32:03
  Eric: Boy's shoes?
• 32:04
  Matt: If you're going to put it there as an homage to the like the uh the level of incident that the original song is referencing at that exact same spot part of the song, why with this particular event, and I don't mean to, you know, sound indelicate, yeah, why would you not keep it world trade blown away?
• 32:29
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 32:30
  Eric: You know?
• 32:31
  Eric: Yeah.
• 32:32
  Eric: Also, they could they were perfectly set up to go with something like Osama Seal Teams, jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams.
• 32:42
  Matt: Eric, Eric, that is so much better than any lyric in either version of the song.
• 32:47
  Eric: That was right off the fucking dome.
• 32:49
  Matt: Eric, you're a fucking bard, my guy.
• 32:51
  Matt: Thank you.
• 32:52
  Matt: Thank you.
• 32:53
  Matt: You're a fucking poet, my guy.
• 32:55
  Eric: Yeah.
• 32:55
  Eric: Who wasted a theater degree now, dad?
• 32:59
  Matt: Yeah.
• 33:00
  Matt: Dad.
• 33:02
  Matt: Now, the other thing that he says that I think is interesting.
• 33:08
  Matt: This is Mr.
• 33:09
  Matt: Mr.
• 33:09
  Matt: Boy again.
• 33:10
  Matt: They reference Michael Jordan twice.
• 33:13
  Matt: Okay?
• 33:14
  Matt: Twice?
• 33:15
  Eric: Yeah.
• 33:15
  Eric: Please tell me at least one of those references was to the film like Mike.
• 33:20
  Matt: No.
• 33:20
  Matt: Fucking fuck off.
• 33:22
  Matt: I believe the lyrics, in fact, are that are simply just Michael Jordan 23 and then later Michael Jordan 45.
• 33:32
  Eric: Yes, that is literally what they just listed his names and his jersey number and the other jersey number you've never heard of.
• 33:41
  Matt: But so they're referencing when he like came out of retirement, right?
• 33:44
  Matt: Yeah.
• 33:44
  Matt: And so what I would say is, okay, you've got another precedent of we didn't start the fire for this in Richard Nixon, and then later Richard Nixon back again.
• 33:57
  Matt: So why wouldn't you keep Michael Jordan and match it with Michael Jordan back again?
• 34:03
  Matt: Do I have to do everyone's job for them, Eric?
• 34:08
  Matt: It was right there.
• 34:10
  Matt: It was right there.
• 34:11
  Matt: And they ignored all that.
• 34:14
  Matt: And also they threw in ever for the uh, as you may recall, Trouble in the Suez is featured in the first song.
• 34:23
  Matt: So I would say, hey, we've had trouble in the Suez recently.
• 34:28
  Matt: You could keep the same fucking weird.
• 34:31
  Eric: And that makes it funnier.
• 34:32
  Matt: It makes it funnier because we know what it is.
• 34:34
  Matt: Yeah.
• 34:34
  Matt: And we know what you're doing.
• 34:35
  Matt: But they said, Ever given Suez.
• 34:38
  Matt: Okay.
• 34:40
  Eric: And I know wait, it's ever given.
• 34:42
  Matt: And oh my God.
• 34:43
  Matt: Ever given Suez.
• 34:45
  Matt: Ever given, comma Suez.
• 34:47
  Matt: And like what I would say is like, we all know what you're gonna reference.
• 34:52
  Matt: Why don't you keep the same structure?
• 34:54
  Matt: I would have written backup in the Suez.
• 34:57
  Matt: Boom.
• 34:58
  Matt: There it is.
• 34:59
  Matt: Or keep it as trouble.
• 35:01
  Eric: Trouble, trouble, trouble.
• 35:03
  Eric: Yeah.
• 35:03
  Eric: Um, oh, you could have you could have hit it with Morty Enric Sanchez backup in the Suez.
• 35:10
  Eric: Like it's right.
• 35:11
  Matt: Like you could have Morty Enric Sanchez backup in the Suez?
• 35:16
  Matt: Eric, fuck you! Off the dome.
• 35:20
  Matt: Give me something else.
• 35:22
  Eric: Oh fuck.
• 35:23
  Eric: Um give me an OJ lyric.
• 35:28
  Matt: They didn't have an OJ lyric.
• 35:29
  Matt: Give me an OJ lyric.
• 35:30
  Eric: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
• 35:32
  Eric: Um oh, I've I've I've got it once I've got the second half, just gotta download the first half.
• 35:47
  Matt: Is this helping or hurting?
• 35:48
  Eric: No, this is this is yeah.
• 35:49
  Eric: Um wait, I have it.
• 35:53
  Eric: I have it.
• 35:54
  Eric: Give me a moment.
• 35:55
  Eric: Uh the best part is you can edit all this out so I sound way more clever.
• 35:59
  Eric: Um I can.
• 36:02
  Eric: Uh not gonna.
• 36:03
  Eric: You could hit him with hit him with this.
• 36:05
  Eric: Hit him with this.
• 36:06
  Eric: Uh Ronda Santis, don't say gay, white Bronco, OJ.
• 36:10
  Eric: Eric fucking poach.
• 36:14
  Eric: Got you, baby.
• 36:16
  Eric: I got you.
• 36:17
  Eric: I'll bring it in.
• 36:18
  Matt: Bring it in over time.
• 36:19
  Matt: I don't I don't even know what I shouldn't have been.
• 36:21
  Matt: You know what?
• 36:22
  Matt: They approached me from Derry King asked me for my opinion, and you laughed.
• 36:28
  Matt: You said, ha ha ha, they're not coming to me.
• 36:30
  Matt: Let me tell you something, Eric.
• 36:32
  Matt: You are you are like a Billy Joel savant.
• 36:36
  Matt: And then there's Flawn.
• 36:38
  Matt: And then there's Flawn, sure.
• 36:41
  Matt: Then there's fucking and then, oh, hold on.
• 36:45
  Matt: Who's who's this bursting in on the other side, settling in themselves down in the corner?
• 36:52
  Matt: Oh my god, it's Congressman Cannoli.
• 36:55
  Matt: Hello.
• 36:56
  Eric: Oh shit.
• 36:58
  Matt: Hello, everybody.
• 36:59
  Matt: Hey, Fron, let me tell you something.
• 37:02
  Matt: How about you sit the fuck down and let the adults talk, okay?
• 37:07
  Eric: God damn it.
• 37:08
  Eric: Yeah.
• 37:08
  Eric: No, I didn't, I didn't anticipate the c I did not anticipate the cannoli.
• 37:14
  Matt: No one ever fucking anticipates Congressman Cannoli.
• 37:17
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 37:19
  Matt: That's what I'm saying, Eric.
• 37:21
  Matt: There are so many desserts, and you settled on Flan so quickly.
• 37:25
  Matt: Governor Cannoli.
• 37:27
  Matt: Governor Cannoli, a question.
• 37:29
  Matt: Fucking please.
• 37:30
  Matt: I'm just a humble congress person.
• 37:32
  Eric: Sir, what do you Sir?
• 37:33
  Eric: What do you what do you have to say about the allegations?
• 37:35
  Eric: The allegations that you sent to me, okay.
• 37:40
  Matt: Hey, hey, smart ass, huh?
• 37:43
  Matt: You want to bring up fucking dirty laundry, okay?
• 37:46
  Matt: I can tell you something.
• 37:47
  Matt: I know some people who get your dirty laundry out here real quick, okay?
• 37:51
  Matt: You got anything else you want to say?
• 37:53
  Matt: You got anything else you want to say?
• 37:55
  Matt: That's what I fucking thought.
• 37:57
  Matt: Sit the fuck down, buddy.
• 37:59
  Eric: That's my president.
• 38:00
  Eric: That's my president.
• 38:02
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 38:03
  Matt: Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna say some real racist shit to Flan over here.
• 38:09
  Matt: I just wanted to make cannoli great again.
• 38:16
  Eric: No, I don't like what we're doing to Cannoli.
• 38:19
  Eric: Yeah, I know.
• 38:19
  Eric: Cannoli's going down a dark, twisted path.
• 38:21
  Eric: But hey, hey, I didn't see any other desserts on 9-11.
• 38:26
  Eric: We can't make that the title, but God, I want that to be the title so badly.
• 38:38
  Matt: I can't believe this episode has gone so far off the rails immediately.
• 38:44
  Matt: Somehow we're 35 minutes into this bitch.
• 38:47
  Matt: And we're so like, yeah, what I will say we haven't answered a single question from a human.
• 38:53
  Matt: We're posting a Republican debate with desserts.
• 38:59
  Eric: What is the literal Margarita Rest re uh Margaritaville restaurant for us?
• 39:04
  Eric: And what is the ethereal, intangible, the Margaritaville of which Jimmy sings for us?
• 39:13
  Matt: Well, Eric, at the risk of stepping on a Pop Tart and blowing out my flip-flop, I think did you just say to me?
• 39:23
  Matt: I said at the risk of stepping on a Pop Tart and blowing out a flip-flop.
• 39:29
  Eric: Were you just quoting James Buffett to me?
• 39:32
  Eric: I believe I was.
• 39:35
  Eric: Matthew, I am sorry.
• 39:37
  Eric: Oh Lord, let me get my phone.
• 39:44
  Matt: Wasted away again.
• 39:46
  Matt: Oh, he knows the path right down my loins.
• 39:50
  Matt: Oh so at the risk of stepping on a pop ton and blowing out with flip-flop.
• 39:59
  Matt: I think that the restaurant, the the actual tune, all of it, all of it, the margarita mixes, all come down to the theme of the song, which is of course alcoholism, but the spirit of the thing.
• 40:18
  Eric: A closed second theme.
• 40:20
  Matt: A close second is a place for you to go and drown your sorrows because you fucked up your life.
• 40:30
  Eric: Everything was bad, but now it's okay.
• 40:33
  Eric: It's fine.
• 40:34
  Matt: So, or or we could answer all three.
• 40:37
  Matt: In which case, I know the answer, I think, to the what is our Margaritaville?
• 40:43
  Matt: The song, the like, what are we gonna play to make ourselves feel better song?
• 40:47
  Eric: Okay, hit me with it.
• 40:49
  Matt: I think that the song that our generation already rallies around.
• 40:55
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:55
  Eric: Our our anthem, our Margaritaville.
• 40:58
  Matt: A candidate rises from the ashes, a savior sticks his hand out of the debris, and that savior's name is Mr.
• 41:08
  Matt: Brightside.
• 41:09
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 41:12
  Matt: Yeah.
• 41:13
  Matt: Come on.
• 41:14
  Matt: Millennials love a fucking Mr.
• 41:16
  Matt: Brightside moment.
• 41:17
  Eric: Coming out of our cage, and we were doing just fine.
• 41:21
  Eric: Started out with my little shaker of soul.
• 41:25
  Eric: How did it end up like this?
• 41:28
  Eric: So oh fucking Christ.
• 41:30
  Eric: Some people say that there's a woman to blame, and she's called the kiss, and my stomach is.
• 41:36
  Eric: It was only a kiss.
• 41:39
  Matt: It works really well.
• 41:41
  Eric: Oh my god, this is the mashup.
• 41:43
  Eric: Please, please, someone listening to this, you know a SoundCloud DJ.
• 41:49
  Eric: Please.
• 41:51
  Matt: Someone, someone, oops.
• 41:53
  Matt: I ruined it from TikTok.
• 41:56
  Matt: Give us Mr.
• 41:57
  Matt: Bright Side to the tune of Margaritaville.
• 42:01
  Matt: I beg you.
• 42:02
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 42:04
  Matt: It stepped on a pop top.
• 42:10
  Matt: That just that just crashed into my brain.
• 42:21
  Matt: I was saying, Eric, I said with authority multiple times.
• 42:26
  Matt: I said multiple times on this podcast, stepped up and someone has been screaming pop top.
• 42:34
  Matt: Someone's been composing the tweet already.
• 42:36
  Matt: Someone has been fucking punching their phone.
• 42:39
  Matt: And it just it just hit me.
• 42:42
  Matt: We were in the middle of another bit, and all of a sudden, Jimmy Buffett came into my brain to say, hey, just so you know, it's not a fucking pop tart.