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Playful Pathways: Nurturing Growth and Hope · The Defender Podcast

• 0:03
  Herbie Newell: Welcome to the defender podcast, a resource to help mobilize and equip the body of Christ to manifest the gospel to orphans and vulnerable children. This podcast is a ministry of Lifeline Children Services, and I'm your host, Herbie Newell.
• 0:18
  Rick Morton: Alright. Welcome again to the Defender Podcast. This is, Rick Morton, and it's April 3, 2024. Can hardly believe it that we're in the month of April. And, and so the pollen is out, and, and I'm coughing and hacking.
• 0:33
  So we're excited. But I am, you know, dressed in spring colors today. So I feel like we're gonna have we're gonna have a great day because I'm prepared for a change. I'm having the opportunity today to, sit down with a dear friend, but also somebody who is an incredible, asset to our team, part of our team here, Ann Maura Hinton. Those of you that listen to the podcast regularly, you're familiar with Ann Maura and with her work, leading Bridge Educational Services and and the way that, she pours into the lives of children and families and leads a team that engages kids that are, challenged with learning differences and and enters into neurodiversity and all those kind of things.
• 1:23
  And so we're gonna talk about that today. Ann Maura joined the Lifeline team in August of 2017. It seems like it was just yesterday. But, but has been here as and serving as the program director for Bridge Educational Services. She came to Lifeline with 25 years of teaching experience in a variety of different settings with a variety of children with different challenges.
• 1:46
  She loves to learn and is constantly looking for new ways to help build a bridge, from frustration to hope, alongside families in need. Ammar is, and I I joke with her, she is literally the most well read person I know. And, and so there's always every time I talk to her, there's a book recommendation. And so we will probably get 1 or 2 of those today too. She's a certified cognitive developmental therapist and has earned her master's degree and undergraduate degree in special education.
• 2:15
  She originally hails from Madisonville, Tennessee. She is a graduate and earned her master's degree in special education, from the University of Tennessee. And so I will continue to use simple words for the rest of this podcast. Roll Tide. That is something we continue to tease about on a regular basis.
• 2:37
  Ann Maura is a wife to Robbie and mom to 3 amazing kids, and she loves spending time with them. And, and is just that those those kids and Robbie are the joy of her life. And so, man, Amara, I'm glad you're here.
• 2:58
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Thanks for having me. I'm excited.
• 3:00
  Rick Morton: We got a promo to do here. And fittingly, the promo today is Bridge Educational Services. And so, you know, summer break can be a great time to let Bridge Educational Services help you and your child to maintain learning and structure over the summer. Bridge tutors can help your child prepare for the next school year while engaging in fun purposeful activities that can improve areas such as focus, comprehension, and decision making skills. Bridge Educational Services will customize a plan for you and your child.
• 3:31
  And the way you can find out about Bridge is you can go to lifelinechild.org org/bridge or you can just check the show notes and all that information is there. So just either click on the show notes where however you're listening to us, that information is right there, or go to But But a good lead in to what we're gonna talk about today. And so our our topic today is we're talking about the power of play.
• 4:01
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 4:02
  Rick Morton: And, it's funny because, of all the people I know in my life, Ann Maura may be one of the most playful people that I know.
• 4:16
  Ann Maura Hinton: I do like to play.
• 4:17
  Rick Morton: I know you do. And, but but not just have fun. Right? Like, have fun have fun with a purpose.
• 4:24
  Ann Maura Hinton: That's right.
• 4:24
  Rick Morton: And, and and so I think, you know, as as we think about all the roles that that we have as parents, and and, you know, all the responsibilities that God gives us as parents. One of the one of the things that sometimes doesn't really get the the focus in the airtime is is the idea of playful parenting. And, and so, you know, maybe could you just talk about how the relationship like, why is it important to be a playful parent?
• 4:56
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. That's a that's a great question. You know, I think about a lot, well, there is actually a scripture that has been jumping out at me lately where it talks about, in Psalm 18:19, it says, He brought me out into a broad place. He rescued me because He delighted in me. And that idea of delight, just, that I that God delights in me.
• 5:24
  And so, therefore, I mean, finding playfulness, playing finding joy, finding that connection with our kids, whatever that situation might be or however that looks, is, is just important. I mean and it brings it builds so much. Dr. Stuart Brown, first book recommendation, wrote a book called Play. And in it, he defined play as a state of mind that one has when absorbed in an activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of sense of time.
• 5:58
  And play is self motivated, so you want to do it again and again and again. So my question, you know, becomes like, so what is that for us? You know, what what suspends time?
• 6:11
  That's something that we wanna do over and over again. And how do we how does that look with our kids?
• 6:18
  Rick Morton: Yep.
• 6:19
  Ann Maura Hinton: And so I think we have to look at ourselves first to figure out, like, what is that for us so that we can then connect and engage with our kids.
• 6:28
  Rick Morton: Yeah. That's awesome. I I you know, the the idea that and I know that, you know, we've talked about this before and and you probably have a you probably have a little something over there to even validate this. But I remember when, when I was in seminary.
• 6:44
  Ann Maura Hinton: Mhmm.
• 6:45
  Rick Morton: One of the things that I, that I did, I had to take a a children's ministry course in in seminary. And, Dr. Paula Stringer was my professor. A lot of folks out there probably know
• 6:59
  Paula and have been around Paula. She's actually been really active in the orphan care world and around CAFO and in those settings.
• 7:07
  But, Paula, she just really kind of drilled it into us that, when we think in terms of children and ministry to children, that play is their work.
• 7:19
  Ann Maura Hinton: Mhmm.
• 7:20
  Rick Morton: And, you know, and that we sometimes we, you know, that and that that really impacted me as a person, but it impacted me as a parent as well to realize that, you know, the playfulness that we have with our kids, sometimes I think we get caught up in all the things that they must achieve and all the all the developmental milestones that they must,
• 7:43
  Ann Maura Hinton: you know Expectations.
• 7:44
  Rick Morton: Yeah. And and and we think of those things in terms of work. But the truth is that they happen because God has designed us to be playful. And when we do those things that are play, that work gets accomplished.
• 8:03
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. The work happens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 8:05
  It it it is. And, you know, I mean, we know that play disarms fear. I mean, we know the science behind it. You know, I can geek out on the neuroscience of it.
• 8:16
  Rick Morton: I want you to geek out. That's what folks wanna hear. So, like, let's let's talk about it.
• 8:19
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know, the brain is designed, you know, the way God designed the brain is for connection.
• 8:25
  Rick Morton: Mhmm.
• 8:25
  Ann Maura Hinton: And and we know that connection disarms fear.
• 8:28
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 8:28
  Ann Maura Hinton: We know that it builds attunement. We know that it impacts memory and learning.
• 8:35
  Rick Morton: Define attunement.
• 8:36
  Ann Maura Hinton: Attunement is is that that when you feel that you are connected with someone and understand that you you're you're there's a there's a mystery actually
• 8:47
  Rick Morton: Yep.
• 8:48
  Ann Maura Hinton: Between that connection And that and and you can relate without having being inhibited by What
• 8:56
  Rick Morton: I've always what I've always heard the imagery that I've always heard to, like, explain that is, it's like when your when your heart and when your soul resonates with someone else like a tuning fork.
• 9:08
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
• 9:09
  Rick Morton: It's that and it really is. It's that it's that sense that that you're like in in in really perfect harmony with another person. And, you know, and I and I think when we think about it, I don't, you know, I can geek out on the theological side of it as well. But but I think in, you know, in grander terms, that's what God has accomplished, you know, for us in, you know, through Christ. Oh.
• 9:37
  And and so, like, we're like, the whole point of this thing is attunement with God. Right. And and so and and we see, you know, in scriptures about God delighting in us and us delighting in God and
• 9:50
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 9:50
  Rick Morton: All that sort of stuff. And so you you then kinda back that up to human relationships and say, God wants that same sort of connection and that same sort of resonance . Among us and between us and certainly with our children . Because it's such a an incredible picture of the relationship that he's he's bought and paid for through Christ with us.
• 10:17
  Right?
• 10:18
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah. And that's beaut isn't that beautiful just to see how God created it, to take it back and just go, And and and you know it. You when you see it, when you you've know how it feels when you are so connected that you, again, you go back to you're you're just finding joy. It's really a sense of joy.
• 10:38
  It you know, the Bible also says rejoice in the Lord always. And again, I say rejoice.
• 10:42
  Rick Morton: Mhmm.
• 10:43
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know? So what? I I think sometimes it's also understanding what it means to find joy in what you're doing.
• 10:51
  Rick Morton: Mhmm.
• 10:51
  Ann Maura Hinton: Whether that is engaging and connecting with your children, whether that's in the workplace, whether whatever that is, it's finding that that that attunement, that attachment, and that connection to where whatever you're doing. So, you know, what what brings you joy? And yeah. So what brings you joy, Rick?
• 11:13
  Rick Morton: You know, I mean, it's funny. We joy for me is and and this okay. So this and this is actually gonna lead what I'm about to say is gonna actually lead to something. I'm gonna totally throw you a curveball.
• 11:25
  Ann Maura Hinton: Okay.
• 11:26
  Rick Morton: But but I think, you know, like for me, I love to I love to learn. I love to I love to engage. I love to, you know, like play with ideas and wrestle with ideas. And and so Yeah. And and it's and it's more a lot of times, it's it's more mental than it is Mhmm.
• 11:46
  You know, physical. Mhmm. Right? Mhmm. And then we we were laughing
• 11:50
  Ann Maura Hinton: Straight at Alabama game, I guess.
• 11:51
  Rick Morton: Well, that's true.
• 11:52
  Ann Maura Hinton: That's true.
• 11:53
  Rick Morton: I don't even I don't even know that I get terribly physical in those places. Like, I'm not, you know, necessarily the person that's jumping up and screaming much as far as you know.
• 12:03
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 12:04
  Rick Morton: But but I think, you know, like, we were laughing, yesterday. We were talking about this and just kind of chatting in preparation. And, you know, I think about, you know, things like PE class and go, yeah, that didn't seem very playful to me. It was just like grunt work. And and so not very enjoyable.
• 12:23
  But, but I think one of the things that that I've that I've realized over time as a parent is that the things that I enjoy and and the things that are fun and playful for me are not the same things that are fun and playful for my children. And, and there's a, like, there's a pretty significant dissonance between between me and what just inherently brings me joy and what and and how they're wired and what inherently brings them joy.
• 12:58
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right? You have to work at it with your kids.
• 13:00
  Rick Morton: So, like, what do you do? Like
• 13:02
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah.
• 13:03
  Rick Morton: When you're when you're just profoundly different and and you're in that place, what, like, what do you do as a parent?
• 13:11
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. I think that's that's fascinating. There is there, you know, there is, a study out there that talks about our dominant ways of play Or our dominant ways of of how we feel. It's not that we don't play in these other ways, but it is, like, how we find that, you know, how we find that joy.
• 13:30
  And it's different from everyone. There's, there is a site that talks about, like, the 8 dominant play personalities. And so, you know, just knowing you and and talking with you, you know, I know things about you. Like, I know that you like to ice skate when you were younger. Right?
• 13:46
  But and that was movement. Right? That that's movement. But it's creative movement. Mhmm.
• 13:52
  And so, one of the play personalities or dominant play roles is creativity. Yep. And I know that about you. You're a wonder. I mean, if we get into the whole working genius thing, you know, you know that you like to invent things.
• 14:04
  And so your way of play is creative.
• 14:08
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 14:08
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know? And that's what's gonna bring you joy. So looking for those those particular ways in in your children
• 14:16
  Herbie Newell: Mhmm.
• 14:16
  Ann Maura Hinton: And then as parents, obviously, we know how, like, even if we have to engage in that 4 or 5 minutes a day, you know, if we wanna get really practical, 10 minutes a day. You know, I know my kids love to be outside. They love to they love to hike. You know that? And so, that is something, you know, if and I do too.
• 14:37
  So that's something that they get from me. But there's there's certain things that they love to do that brings them joy that aren't always my favorite. Right. You know, or I don't always gravitate that direction. But I know that if I spend 5 minutes outside with them, hiking, well, again, outside, that's that's something, but, that I love to do.
• 14:57
  But if it's something I can just say, hey.
• 14:59
  Rick Morton: But if you didn't love to do
• 15:01
  Ann Maura Hinton: it Yeah. Right.
• 15:02
  Rick Morton: You know, I think that's that's the thing. It it's it's about it it's, you know, it's one of those self sacrificial kind of things. And, like, I don't wanna make this bigger bigger than it is or whatever. But but I think, you know, in a world where all the messages that we get are about our comfort and our needs and, you know, that are that are very me focused kind of things, it it almost seems a little counterintuitive. But but you're but when we're talking about play, we're saying, like, you need to sacrifice and play the way your kids
• 15:35
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 15:35
  Rick Morton: Like, the way they
• 15:36
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 15:37
  Rick Morton: Like, the way they love to play. Yeah. And and and but the reason you do that is to build connection with your kids. Mhmm. To to build that that deep resonance that we were talking about in that attunement Yeah.
• 15:53
  Kind of thing. And and it's and it's about, it's also about understanding that God has made all of that Mhmm. So that our kids grow and and develop to be the people Right. That he's created them to be. I mean, there's
• 16:11
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 16:12
  Rick Morton: The cognitive consequences for that. There are there are emotional consequences for that. There, you know, it's it's just our whole person is wrapped up in that. And I don't know that I don't know that we get messages a lot around us that plays that important.
• 16:26
  Ann Maura Hinton: Oh, yeah. Like, I'm, my daughter one of my daughters, she is, one of the dominant play personalities or that, are listed is a collector. You know, we've mentioned creative collectors.
• 16:37
  Rick Morton: We got one of those too.
• 16:38
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. She loves to collect, snow globes. Personally, I'd love to throw the snow globes out the window because we have a shelves of snow globes. But that brings her such joy and connection to when we are traveling or gone somewhere or for somebody to bring her a snow globe back that represents that place and it it opens up conversations. You know, we we have a shelf full of snow globes in her in her bedroom, You know?
• 17:06
  And, and it's not my favorite. But, man, the the connection that I have with my daughter because of her collector type of mindset, then is is is is just it's beautiful. I I love it.
• 17:19
  Rick Morton: Amara, I'm gonna make you feel better about that. You know, one of our sons, he has a collection of garbage disposals.
• 17:30
  Ann Maura Hinton: I think I remember you saying that.
• 17:32
  Rick Morton: And he has and he has literally dozens of garbage disposals. He has a pretty good sized room, and it looks like a workshop. And it's and, you know, but all all that to say, It's important. Yeah. And we just had to relax about it Yeah.
• 17:50
  And and just say, you know, it doesn't necessarily make any sense to us. It's not anything that Denise or I would, you know, say, hey. That brings us joy or it Right. You know, and and so Right. And so I may like to collect, you know, autograph, Yeah.
• 18:07
  Sports memorabilia or whatever. And, you know, and he likes to collect garbage disposals, and that makes sense to him, and what I collect makes sense to me. But but where we've been able to find intersection and find joy in that is is, like, I identify with the fact that, like, he he likes to he likes to find those things. And and and it's funny because the thing that's important about both of those is not the thing.
• 18:35
  Ann Maura Hinton: That's right. It's the connection.
• 18:37
  Rick Morton: It's it's and it's the memory. Like, it's the where it's like the where it came from and the and the hunt and all of that sort of thing. And and he and I are incredibly alike in that. Mhmm. And so finding that sort of stuff, like, I can I can celebrate something that I don't really care a whole lot about at all?
• 18:58
  And and does it because because I can I can understand the feeling?
• 19:02
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 19:02
  Rick Morton: And and, like, the and and the you know, why it's meaningful to him.
• 19:06
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 19:07
  Rick Morton: Yeah. And so that's that's where, like, that's where our hearts meet.
• 19:11
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Well, and I think that kinda gets back to to when we think about, like, the connected families framework that we've talked about. You know, sometimes I think we allow ourselves to be triggered by their joy or triggered by their their way of play.
• 19:26
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 19:26
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know, and that's why we do have to kinda take a step back and say, hey. What's going on inside of me? That's the, you know, number one connected family's questions, you know, so that you take a look and go, okay. What's going on inside of me? And what why is this bother me?
• 19:40
  And I just use the question why. But why why is this bothering me? Yep. You know? And so or how can I switch it so that I can find that that those memories and make those memories and and have those conversations and connect with my child even though it may be something that is triggering for me?
• 20:00
  Yeah. You know? And and it is self sacrificing.
• 20:12
  Rick Morton: Just kind of parenting on a different plane a little bit to realize that that they're that that's part of it. And and again
• 20:20
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. You
• 20:20
  Rick Morton: know, to take it back to the, you know, the spiritual side of it.
• 20:25
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 20:25
  Rick Morton: Philippians 2. Right? Jesus, who who had all rights to heaven
• 20:31
  Ann Maura Hinton: Mhmm.
• 20:32
  Rick Morton: And and who who was properly ruling and reigning, stepped out of heaven, removed himself from all of that, and came and lived in the world like one of us Right. But not like one of us. Right. Right?
• 20:51
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 20:51
  Rick Morton: And and and so, like, think about all the stuff that Jesus had to endure and all the things that all the things that he gave up to be, you know, where he was. And so, like, I don't wanna over spiritualize this. But the fact is that when we're in our triggered moments
• 21:07
  Ann Maura Hinton: Mhmm.
• 21:08
  Rick Morton: Playing with our kids, there's that's kind of an opportunity to be able to
• 21:13
  Ann Maura Hinton: Show them Jesus.
• 21:14
  Rick Morton: Yeah. And and to live like Jesus. And and also, I think, to petition the Lord in the middle of those moments to say, God, give me patience. God, give me grace. God, give me Yeah.
• 21:24
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know,
• 21:24
  Rick Morton: give me what I need in order to be able to be there and be present for my child. And and and I I you know, that's not to that's not to beat anybody up who's struggling with that because we all do.
• 21:34
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah.
• 21:34
  Rick Morton: And, it but it's just a great reminder. I'm I mean, I'm sitting here saying this, like, I've got it all together. I don't. Like, this is a constant battle, you know, even today.
• 21:46
  Ann Maura Hinton: Mhmm.
• 21:47
  Rick Morton: But, but it's a battle worth fighting.
• 21:50
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. I mean yeah. And I mean, if you think even going back to James, you know, James chapter 1 where he says, let your steadfastness take its full effect. And, you know, and then that next verse says, if you lack wisdom, ask the Lord.
• 22:03
  Rick Morton: Alright.
• 22:03
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know? And I think, you know, and don't doubt, you know? And I think that gets back to us too is like like, I sometimes I'm not sure how to connect or I'm not sure how that's the number one, like, response, were not excuse, but response I get from parents a lot when we're talking about play is like, I I don't know how to play or I didn't play as a child, which I would like. I'll I'll question you and make you think about that. Like, if I if I said, hey, Rick, what's your earliest memory of playing Yeah.
• 22:36
  As a child? And, like, what did you do? How did you play as a child? And even with your parents, I mean, I know that you had, you know, a connection with your parents. So what's your earliest memory of playing with your dad or with your mom?
• 22:50
  And how did they play with you? How did they connect with you?
• 22:53
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 22:53
  Ann Maura Hinton: And that's gonna impact, you know, just being able to go, oh, I do know how to find joy in in doing that, you know, and and everything. So how do do what is your earliest memory at play?
• 23:05
  Rick Morton: Gosh. I'm sitting here thinking about it and and just trying to, you know, trying to think back. I mean, probably the earliest thing I could remember is being absolutely completely obsessed with policemen and firemen, you know, and, and like pretending to be a policeman.
• 23:27
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:28
  Rick Morton: Like, my favorite TV show was, you know, like 2 cops riding around in a car kind of thing.
• 23:33
  Ann Maura Hinton: Oh, it went chips on the
• 23:34
  Rick Morton: no. It was it was actually Adam 12,
• 23:36
  Ann Maura Hinton: so it goes back that far. Okay.
• 23:38
  Rick Morton: Go look it up. For those of you that A
• 23:42
  Ann Maura Hinton: bit younger?
• 23:43
  Rick Morton: Absolutely. For those of you that it's, it was it was on the scripts were written on stone tablets, if
• 23:49
  Ann Maura Hinton: you don't know that.
• 23:51
  Rick Morton: But but then but, like, playing like that and my dad pretending with me.
• 23:55
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yes.
• 23:56
  Rick Morton: Like him him just engaging engaging and and like Yeah. And I think that's that's one of the thing. And I'm gonna tell you, like, I stink at this. So I'm so I'm gonna I'm gonna be as a as a father, like, this has been a struggle. Mhmm.
• 24:11
  But, but it's not one of these, but it's not a struggle because it didn't have it modeled for for me. It's a struggle because it triggers something in me. And and so what we're talking about but, gosh, I feel like this is a therapy session. But but the but the reality is, what I learned from my dad was mirroring.
• 24:30
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yes.
• 24:31
  Rick Morton: I learned, I learned from my dad that he, he didn't force me to play his way. He, he let me play, and he came and joined me.
• 24:44
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yes.
• 24:45
  Rick Morton: And and I think, again, not to over spiritualize it. Yeah. Because but I don't think you can over spiritualize it. That's exactly what Jesus did on some level.
• 24:56
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. And the science, if you wanna get to the science part of it, mirroring neurons. I mean, they are mirroring neurons on those my neurons are talking to your neurons.
• 25:06
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 25:06
  Ann Maura Hinton: And we are mirroring and modeling that. And that's forming how our brains, how our neurons are firing and then wiring together. And even like doctor Karen Purvis had a quote in her book, The Connected Child, that says it takes 400 repetitions to create a new synapses in the brain unless it's done through play, in which it takes 10 to 20 repetitions.
• 25:33
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 25:33
  Ann Maura Hinton: And I mean, you just think these you think about that. And from a learning from a learning process and educator side of things, and even as an educator, you know, in the classroom of like, if I am, you know, playfully engaging and present and able to connect with my students, then I know that it's going to stick quicker. You know, those neurons are going to fire and wire. And we're not going to have to, quote, work as much at it. Well, it's
• 26:03
  Rick Morton: because you're finding joy in that thing.
• 26:05
  Ann Maura Hinton: Exactly.
• 26:05
  Rick Morton: And so I'll so I'll go back to the example that we talked about earlier, and you talked about my, you know, ice skating life.
• 26:12
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yes. Yeah.
• 26:13
  Rick Morton: So that was that was hard work.
• 26:17
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 26:17
  Rick Morton: As a kid, it was it was kind of unusual, actually, for as a kid to put that kind of time in and to do that kind of work. And it was it was incredibly repetitious
• 26:28
  Ann Maura Hinton: Mhmm.
• 26:28
  Rick Morton: And and it could be really boring. Mhmm. Except that it was it was always, like, purposive trial. It was always, like, trying and trying to fix what didn't work the last time. And and if it was and if that would just felt like work, it would have been horrible.
• 26:49
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 26:49
  Rick Morton: But it didn't feel like work. Right. It it it felt like
• 26:53
  Ann Maura Hinton: fun. Mhmm.
• 26:54
  Rick Morton: And it felt like achievement and it felt like joy and and like there was a there was but there was a fun in the getting there part.
• 27:01
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right. Yeah.
• 27:03
  Rick Morton: And I think that's the point that that when when we're thinking in terms of and I think this is really, really, really important when we're talking about kids that struggle with learning and kids, kids that are developmentally behind and all of that, that as parents, we feel the weight of that. Because we look into the future and we start to say, what if?
• 27:27
  Ann Maura Hinton: I get worried.
• 27:29
  Rick Morton: What if what if they can't? What if, you know, what if what if things don't work the way they should? What if they don't achieve? And so the mindset then becomes, well, we have to work harder. And and we and they and they've got to put the work in.
• 27:48
  And and so it becomes something that is incredibly like, it's anything other than playful. It's incredibly hard and difficult. It
• 27:57
  Ann Maura Hinton: was very left brained. Yeah. We just really just the drive just to get them to, yeah, to to make that next grade or to pass that next test. And we the joy is gone.
• 28:09
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 28:09
  Ann Maura Hinton: The joy goes away.
• 28:11
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 28:11
  Ann Maura Hinton: And that and and that's yeah. And that's really difficult. I mean, I and I see it and I get it as a parent. I was that parent, you know, that that just the push and the drive because that's what we we thought that that's what works.
• 28:24
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 28:25
  Ann Maura Hinton: And with our kids that come from learning, that have learning differences or that have, you know, are neurodivergent or just have issues and struggles in different things. If we can disarm our fear Mhmm. You know, and come back and and recall who how we are made and and that whole the whole relationship with how what God has done for us Yeah. You know, then we're able to, we're able to look at our kids differently Yeah. Maybe and really connect with them through this knowing, again, that it's gonna produce that.
• 28:56
  Mhmm. But, it's a different maybe it's just navigating a different path to get there.
• 29:01
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 29:01
  Ann Maura Hinton: Well
• 29:02
  Rick Morton: and I think I think at the end end of the day, you have to trust the Lord in this. And I and I say that, and that sounds really cliche. And if you're a mom or dad who's in the middle of, you know, the the molly grubs about where your child is and where they might end up and all that sort of thing, like, I'm I understand. I've been there. I'm there.
• 29:22
  I might be there this afternoon. I don't know. But but like, that's a constant struggle, that, you know, that we continue to live, and it's real. But at the end of the day, being worried about that to the point of not being able to be present and not being able to be playful and not being able to connect with your kids is just so completely counterproductive to the to the whole thing. It just it makes worse what you're, you know, what you're really concerned and worried about and trying to affect.
• 29:57
  And and so Yeah. Yeah. And and, you know, what a what an incredible, you know, just manifestation of God's grace that that that God gives us the answer in something that's this fun.
• 30:12
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we see it with the Bridge tutors. I mean, and the connection that a lot of our kids make with the the their tutors that they're working with, even even online. Yeah.
• 30:21
  You know? And it's just beautiful to see when they've made that connection in a playful way, like, the progress that they make is just incredible. I mean, you were telling me a story yesterday, and then it just makes my heart happy. And and you just wanna smile. I I do wanna do that little dance, you know, because it's just to see that progression made and, and to see those kids excited about learning Yep.
• 30:52
  And joyful about learning.
• 30:54
  Rick Morton: Yep.
• 30:54
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. So you have to tell a story.
• 30:56
  Rick Morton: Yeah. Well, and I was this story, there's actually a little more to the story than I told you yesterday. But just, you know, my wife's working with a little boy right now that has, had some, you know, pretty significant struggles. And and he they've been very fundamental and very rudimentary in getting him to move and getting him to do, you know, some basic things to connect, you know, words and ideas and and those sorts of things. And and so he's put in a ton of work.
• 31:26
  Yeah. His mama has put in a ton of work because what's been happening is that not just so they're doing tutoring a couple of days a week, but but he and mama are doing it at home.
• 31:38
  Ann Maura Hinton: Mhmm.
• 31:39
  Rick Morton: And then Denise told the story a few weeks ago. We had a snow day, and so this was back in in January. And so all of his siblings were out of school. And so mom brought the siblings Mhmm. And they all joined in.
• 31:55
  Oh. And so they were all helping him to, you know, move his body in the ways that he needed to move his body. And they were, like, all in it, and and they've continued to do that. And so it's become part of the play, you know, that they have at home. Now one of the funny things that that I we just talked about this last night, is he's actually become a little bit oppositional, and he's become a little bit defiant in telling him he didn't want to do some of that stuff.
• 32:20
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Right. But he's using his words.
• 32:23
  Rick Morton: Right. And that was the thing. That was that was the moment. Like, she we were talking about it. And and I just started laughing because she was kinda she was processing.
• 32:31
  And she's kinda going like, you know, what what am I gonna do? Where am I gonna go from here and put a plan together? And I was like like, you gotta stop and just step back and celebrate and go, 4, 5 months ago, he didn't have the ability to tell you no.
• 32:46
  Ann Maura Hinton: That's right. Yeah.
• 32:47
  Rick Morton: And now he does. And so, you know, mom's mom's a little, you know Yeah. Kinda trying to figure out what to do with that and all. But it's like, it's a really it's an incredible place to be. And and the and the bigger place in that or the bigger the reality in it is hope.
• 33:03
  Mhmm. Because the fact is, you're seeing this little guy that didn't like, he didn't have the ability to do this months ago.
• 33:11
  Ann Maura Hinton: Self. Yeah.
• 33:11
  Rick Morton: And he does now.
• 33:13
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 33:13
  Rick Morton: And so, you know, I lord you know, lord willing Yeah. That mom is gonna get that message today. And when they sit down and, Yeah. You know, and and it's like, hey. Be be thankful and be hopeful for what, you know, for what you've seen.
• 33:26
  Ann Maura Hinton: And it and the progress is and and but that isn't that also how the Lord works? I mean, we're always looking for these quick fixes.
• 33:33
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 33:33
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know? And for whatever it is just to to go away, you know, to just fix it. But but that's that's not how God's designed life. You know? It's a it's a process.
• 33:44
  It's a sanctification process. Yeah. I mean and and so, I mean, a a lot of times we we do talk to parents about that it's gonna take time. And in the the changes sometime are just really subtle, But let don't miss those opportunities to celebrate those subtle changes. Right.
• 34:03
  You know, again, coming back to the idea of work, but it's a it's a beautiful work to engage in. You know, we have to look for those opportunities. And that takes us, you know, stepping back again and looking for those opportunities, taking the time, taking that pause, and enjoying your
• 34:20
  Rick Morton: your children. Funny because, you know, even even in the intro to the, you know, the interview when, it Dawn taught me that you've been here since 2017. Yeah. Good night. We've been at this a while.
• 34:31
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. It's fun.
• 34:32
  Rick Morton: It is fun. And, and it doesn't seem like we've been doing it this long.
• 34:35
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Right.
• 34:36
  Rick Morton: But but part of the part of the blessing in all that is to be able to look back over all of those years and to see kids that have grown and achieved. And and and that's the thing. I think, you you know, sometimes we get frustrated in the moment because we don't feel like we're seeing change.
• 34:54
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 34:55
  Rick Morton: But when you're able to turn back around and look over, you know, a a sequence of years or Mhmm. You know, it's it's pretty evident to see how all this works. And I it's it's funny as I've talked to people about Bridge. One of the one of the things that I think parents clue into some at a point is, or sometimes they don't. And sometimes this is a fun conversation, but they're but they're, you know, they go, but you're not doing anything but playing with my kids.
• 35:25
  Ann Maura Hinton: Playing brain games. Right. But
• 35:26
  Rick Morton: no. But the but the but the funny thing is is, like, I think there's there's sort of this when people come into
• 35:34
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 35:34
  Rick Morton: You know, doing what we do, and and the expectation is that there is this there is this very clinical, very, you know, scientific kind of thing, and that we're gonna have, like, a laboratory experience with their
• 35:47
  Ann Maura Hinton: kids. Right. Yeah.
• 35:48
  Rick Morton: And then it's, you know, it's words and colors and stuff and physical movement and all, you know, all these things that are that are kind of being used as tools, but it just really looks like sitting down and playing.
• 36:03
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah.
• 36:04
  Rick Morton: And because it is.
• 36:05
  Ann Maura Hinton: That's it. Yeah. That we we we play. That's, that's how I describe it is we we play these particular we use these different tools and strategies to play so that we can develop in in the cognitive side
• 36:20
  Rick Morton: Right.
• 36:20
  Ann Maura Hinton: Or so that it impacts everything else we're doing in life. Right. You know, whether that's walking down the street and and looking at a stop sign, you know, and knowing that you're supposed to stop, you know, but to, you know, how you spell words
• 36:34
  Rick Morton: and
• 36:34
  Ann Maura Hinton: how you read and in, you know, different things like that. So it's really neat to watch that, again, that process. But, yeah, we but you we're doing it through play, through engagement, through joy, helping them kids. And I can't tell you how many times I hear kids or parents come back and say, hey, this is just really neat, and and they wanna be a part of it. You know, like this mom, I mean, she wants to be doing it at home so that, like, she can see that same effect happening across the board.
• 37:02
  Rick Morton: And that's
• 37:02
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know?
• 37:02
  Rick Morton: And that's when this really works.
• 37:04
  Ann Maura Hinton: That's transformation. Yes.
• 37:06
  Rick Morton: But that's when it really works. It really works when when we transfer that to mom and dad and that and that like something clicks within a family.
• 37:15
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yes.
• 37:16
  Rick Morton: That play and and the purpose of play gets walked out
• 37:20
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 37:20
  Rick Morton: On a on a regular basis.
• 37:22
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 37:22
  Rick Morton: And, and so Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I I think it's yeah. It's just it's it's it's an incredible, it's an incredible opportunity and an incredible privilege.
• 37:35
  I think there's one more thing I wanna talk about
• 37:37
  Ann Maura Hinton: just
• 37:37
  Rick Morton: before we close. And, and so there's a because I think there is another aspect to this that is that's important and it's and gonna use a word or a term that may trigger some people. Because we and you're gonna laugh when I say this because we've had a lot of conversations. But we we talk about the social emotional aspect of of what happens in all this. And that's a social emotional learning is a term that's been co opted by, you know, by folks who who would want it to mean something else.
• 38:08
  But at the end of the day, what we're talking about is is that that the Lord has wired us to use play to help us learn how to relate to other people and and to and to establish us emotionally and and in our, you know, in our our ability to relate to other people and our ability to regulate ourselves and and our ability to build experience the world well. Right?
• 38:34
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. I would even take it. I mean, you know, I'm always gonna go towards the the science side of things. So I'm gonna look at, like, I see play as a holistic tool to building that motor sensory or those relational skills.
• 38:50
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 38:51
  Ann Maura Hinton: If you wanna use that term instead and those cognitive skills. So it's a holistic brain approach to to strengthening that so that we do know how to
• 39:01
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 39:02
  Ann Maura Hinton: Like, you know, live life. And but we do that through through play. And I think, yeah, I do think it is a piece and God's given God created the brain. Yeah. And so, you know, and he's in so now all we're did but we live in a broken world and we're we're broken.
• 39:17
  Rick Morton: We're Yeah.
• 39:18
  Ann Maura Hinton: You know, we're sinful and we're broken people. But he's using play as a tool to strengthen all of those different skills, whether it's motor sensory, whether it's social, emotional, or relational, or whether it's cognitive. Yeah. That it is a piece of that whole the whole product. The whole piece is fits together of that of that puzzle.
• 39:39
  Rick Morton: And so I've heard a lot of dads that talk about the idea that they want their they want their kids to play sports. Mhmm. Particularly want their boys to play sports, but they want their kids to play sports in general. And you ask them why, and they say because of how it develops them as a person, how it develops them in character, how it, you know, how it how it teaches things that well, here's maybe this is a little crazy, and I will probably get an email or 2 over this. But but I think, you know, sometimes we think it's because of the structure of sports or sometimes even the success of sports.
• 40:16
  But I think really the the like the ingredient in that that's important is the is the play and the joy of sports.
• 40:25
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah, definitely.
• 40:26
  Rick Morton: And that and that we're a lot of that learning to negotiate the world and learning to, you know, like, live and and do well with other people
• 40:36
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 40:37
  Rick Morton: Comes in the context of doing something that you just really, really, really enjoy. Mhmm. And and so kind of bringing that, you know, full circle. It's kind of troubling when you see parents that are pushing their kids to be a part of those things and to, and to achieve in those things for maybe what are all the wrong reasons. Because the right reason from a developmental standpoint is, is helping your kid to do something that they really, really, really, really, really love.
• 41:15
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's I think that's why I would I would so encourage parents to really think about and be aware of the different ways in which your child finds joy. Yeah.
• 41:30
  Whether that it could be a kinesthetic where you just like to move. It could be your competitor where and, and, and, and do sports and teams teach certain things? Sure. But if we're intentional in different, whatever that looks like, there's a there's a habit of intentionality. Yep.
• 41:49
  You know? Right? Strategic intentionality. If you wanna that's kinda where I'm going with that. But, but, but whether your child is kinesthetic, a competitor, a storyteller, an artist, a director, you know, those are just some of the ways in which just getting to know how your child receives joy Yep.
• 42:12
  From what God's given us.
• 42:13
  Rick Morton: And and so the simple way to say that is just find it and feed it.
• 42:17
  Ann Maura Hinton: Find it and feed it. Right? Yeah. Just find and feed it. Exactly.
• 42:20
  That's good. I love that.
• 42:21
  Rick Morton: And so I, you know, I would encourage folks as as we, you know, kind of begin to step away from this is go find the, you know, the information about different styles of play and and try to, you know, understand yourself and understand your child. And those are things we can all do at home. Right? But but there are some things that probably folks that are listening to the podcast are aware of that they don't feel like they can do at home. And and, you know, maybe somebody who has bought into the idea of play and playfulness being the way to help their kids to, you know, develop and to walk through some learning differences and to make up for or to, you know, some cognitive, you know, differences.
• 43:03
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah.
• 43:04
  Rick Morton: Alright. So Yeah. If you're in that place Yeah. What do you do, Ann Maura?
• 43:09
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Well, I mean, I would I would love to say, hey, let's we we wanna equip and empower you as a parent to do what God has called us to do as parents. And so, yeah, we can definitely help navigate that, help you navigate that and walk alongside and partner and help with those tools and strategies to get you to that point. Whether that's parent coaching, you know, whether that's, you know, counseling, whether that's bridge, you know, But there are the beauty that God has allowed us to do, in bridge and, you know, at Lifeline is that we do have a lot of tools and strategies that God has put in our laps, and we definitely wanna share those.
• 43:53
  Yeah.
• 43:54
  Rick Morton: And and I would encourage folks to reach out because I think, you know, the other thing that may be a bit of a misnomer is folks folks may be looking at this and saying, hey, I don't I don't know if we can do this. And number 2, I don't know if we can afford it. Mhmm. And I think what you're gonna find if you come and look at what we're doing in Bridge is it's insanely affordable. Right.
• 44:11
  Because we've we've worked really hard to make sure that that's true, but we also have ways for people to be able to afford it if you can't.
• 44:18
  Ann Maura Hinton: Right.
• 44:19
  Rick Morton: And so we we don't want a family to not be served Mhmm. Because of a lack of resources. And so, reach out to us. Talk with us. Let's let's see what we can do to,
• 44:30
  Ann Maura Hinton: you
• 44:30
  Rick Morton: know, to help your family. Well, Amara, you know, we could sit here and talk all day.
• 44:34
  Ann Maura Hinton: I know. I know. I have about 10 things in my mind right now, but I know.
• 44:38
  Rick Morton: So that so what we have to do, you just have to come back, and we have to do this again. And we just have to keep talking. But, I'm really, you know, again, just so thankful for you. Thankful for you and Robbie and your friendship. And and, this is always fun because, you know, doing interviews, when you get to sit down with one of your buddies and just, you know, and just have a have a conversation about something that you enjoy, it's always great.
• 45:01
  And so, yeah. Thanks for thanks for this. Thanks for all you do in in Leading Bridge, and we will look forward to having another conversation soon.
• 45:11
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Well, thank you. It's been fun, and I'm thankful for you all too and for Lifeline. And just yeah. I'm thankful.
• 45:16
  I do. I love to just mention this last piece of scripture that just pops up into my mind every time I think about kids, and it is that Zechariah 8:5. It says, and the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets. And just get a visual of that. I mean, isn't that beautiful that that's we're gonna we're gonna be playing in heaven?
• 45:38
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 45:38
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yeah. Yeah.
• 45:39
  Rick Morton: Yeah.
• 45:39
  Ann Maura Hinton: Anyway, but thank you.
• 45:40
  Rick Morton: That's a great way to end. Right? We're gonna be playing in heaven.
• 45:43
  Ann Maura Hinton: Yep. Well,
• 45:45
  Rick Morton: we're so we're so glad that you joined us for this episode of the Defender Podcast. And, we appreciate that you come and listen. We'd love for you to rate and review the podcast and let us know, about, what you enjoy, and we'll try to do more of that. We'd love to hear from you. But, we will be right back here next week again with another episode of the Defender podcast, and we hope you'll join us.
• 46:14
  Herbie Newell: Thanks for listening to the Defender Podcast. If you enjoy making this podcast a part of your weekly routine, we'd love for you to take a moment to subscribe, rate, and review The Defender Podcast to make it easier for more people to find. For more information on how you and your church can partner with Life Line, visit us at lifelinechild.org. If you want to connect with me, please visit herbynewell.com. Follow us at Lifeline on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter by searching for Lifeline Child.
• 46:41
  You can email us directly at info at lifelinechild.org. Beloved, will you allow god to use the gospel to you to impact the life of a child? Please contact us because we are here to defend the fatherless. We'll see you again next week for the Defender podcast