Transcript

0:01
What's up, everybody?
0:02
Welcome back to another episode of the Christian Agent Podcast.
0:05
We have an incredible, well, I was going to say guest and topic at the same time.
0:11
And I got stuck there, Monica.
0:12
So we have a incredible guest, Monica Edwards, and a great topic today, the bulletproof mindset, which, ooh, that's a spicy topic.
0:20
I think you're going to want to stick around and hear more about that as Monica is a mindset master.
0:26
But before we get started, as always, if you haven't joined our school, go check it out in the show notes.
0:32
It's a free online community.
0:33
Monica is there, a free online community where I help Christian agents sell three to four homes a month.
0:38
I hope you will join me.
0:39
Would love to serve you there.
0:41
As always, I'm going to start with a Christian dad joke.
0:44
I honestly can't believe I'm still doing this, Monica.
0:46
So I'll tell you a quick story, right?
0:48
I don't know that I've shared this on the podcast before I tell this joke.
0:51
So I started in 2016, Monica, I started a joke of the week video for my real estate team.
0:58
Okay.
0:58
And I posted on Facebook and it was, mean, I looking back at them, they were terrible, right?
1:03
But whatever that's, that's point of it.
1:05
That was the whole point is these terrible dad jokes.
1:07
Well, I had done it every single week until 2021.
1:11
And I remember the day my wife comes up to me, my wife's name is Rachel.
1:15
And she says, you know what, Garrett, you don't have to do those anymore.
1:18
I'm like, wait, do I not have to do them?
1:19
And she's like, it's okay.
1:21
you'll still have business.
1:22
like, praise God.
1:23
So I did one more, cause I was spending, I mean, I hate to admit, I was spending hours, Monica, just trying to find a joke I hadn't told before.
1:30
Yeah, like five years in a row.
1:33
And finally I just stopped.
1:34
So I stopped doing jokes on the podcast, I don't know, months back.
1:39
And cause I was like, nobody likes these and all I get is people making fun of me, which is totally legitimate and they should.
1:44
But then people start saying, Hey, hold on, you gotta bring those jokes back.
1:47
like, which one is it?
1:48
Do you like them or do you not like them?
1:49
I think they just like making fun of me.
1:51
here's another one.
1:52
But I hope that you like it, Monica.
1:54
Let's see.
1:55
Let me pull this one.
1:55
OK.
1:56
All right, Monica.
1:57
priest is pulled over after a cop sees him driving erratically.
2:02
The cop says, sir, have you been drinking?
2:05
And the priest replies, just water, officer.
2:08
Then what's that wine bottle over there?
2:10
Praise Jesus, he's done it again.
2:11
That's funny.
2:15
I actually like that one.
2:16
Yeah, that's good.
2:18
brother that's a good one Man, I finally found a good one.
2:22
That's fantastic.
2:24
I like that one.
2:24
Well, Monica Edwards, she has three things.
2:28
Fun, if you're not having fun, you're not doing it right.
2:30
Two, she's a mindset master.
2:32
And three, she said the word safe because she creates a safe space for people in her world.
2:37
She has real estate mastery coaching and bulletproof mindset.
2:41
Monica, I am so glad that you're here.
2:43
Thank you so much for joining us.
2:44
Take a quick minute, introduce yourself, then we're going to dive in.
2:47
I'm just honored to be here, so thanks for having me.
2:50
So I've been coaching for almost 20 years, and hopefully we'll get to share the story how that has evolved over time.
3:00
But it's morphed into real estate business, right?
3:04
Business mastery, how to run your business, make more money in less time, so you can always remember to have God, family, business.
3:12
And I think that's where people get it wrong, right?
3:14
They save the leftovers for family and God, and it doesn't work that way.
3:19
So it's morphed into, what systems do we need, right?
3:24
What are the things we need to do?
3:25
What's gonna work for us?
3:26
How do we authentically show up in our business the way God created us to, right?
3:31
Not trying to be somebody else, but using your gifts, your passions, and your values to run your business.
3:36
And then, of course, I realized through my own journey that Mindset is not important.
3:43
It is everything.
3:45
Everything.
3:45
Because it will stand there like a brick wall in between where you and you want it, where you want to be if you don't address what you're thinking about.
3:54
100 % of the time.
3:56
Yeah, no doubt.
3:57
And all right, I want you to tell your story first.
4:00
I was like, I'm about to get into all this because what you just said is so spot on.
4:03
But it is.
4:04
mean, that's the teaser for the rest of this, right?
4:06
For audience, for you to stick around, MindTed is everything.
4:09
I mean, it's literally the difference between everything, whether you think, because I love that you said this, Monica, and I'm just going to tease it out a little bit.
4:16
I love that you said it is, how do you make more money in less time?
4:19
And the irony is, so I'll give you a quick background.
4:22
So I had a business called Business by Relationships.
4:24
That's where the whole podcast started, Serving Not Selling came from.
4:27
And we were selling this action plan, right?
4:30
So I was just handing everybody, here's what you do every month to some more homes by relationship.
4:36
And so my CEO at the time said, let's run a Facebook ad.
4:39
I don't know anything about Facebook ads, but okay, let's run a Facebook ad.
4:42
Well, the Facebook ad literally said something like, how I started to sell more homes and do it in less time, right?
4:48
I had just sold 50 homes that year done in less than 40 hours a week.
4:51
Well, anyways, we tried to run the ad and the ad gets canceled or kicked back or whatever.
4:55
They didn't push it through because they literally said, this is not true.
5:00
And it canceled it, right?
5:02
And so we had this connection and we asked them to go through.
5:05
asked, they talked to the Facebook people, whatever.
5:07
And they're like, yeah, you can't say that because that's not actually true, right?
5:10
There's no way you can sell more in less time.
5:12
And I thought, man, how crazy.
5:14
that this is what we have bought into as an industry that, if you're gonna sell more homes, yeah, it's gonna take more time so you get to choose.
5:21
Do you wanna do a lot or do you wanna do a little, do you want a free time or no time?
5:24
And that's totally not true, right?
5:26
And it's all about a mindset shift.
5:27
So, okay, teasing that out a little, we're gonna get to that, the good stuff.
5:30
the Facebook police need mindset work.
5:34
Yes, right.
5:35
You're for a lot of reasons.
5:37
For a lot of reasons, Monica, that we won't go on to for this show because we don't want to get canceled.
5:41
I don't care.
5:41
Maybe we should.
5:43
Okay, Monica, but give us your background, right?
5:45
How did you get to this point where you're coaching, where you understand this mindset stuff?
5:50
Just kind of tell us your story and then we'll dive into it.
5:52
Absolutely.
5:53
I'll try to put it in a nutshell, but it's a long story because I'm pushing 60, my friend.
6:00
So my first career as a special agent for the US government.
6:04
And so my job was to investigate crimes on behalf of the Department of Defense, by and against the military.
6:10
And I did counterintelligence work overseas.
6:12
That was great preparation for what I do now because coaching really is about asking questions.
6:19
That's where the best answers come is from the clients and there's teaching that goes along with that as well.
6:25
And so I was able to dive into, I guess, the psyche, human psychology then.
6:32
And so as my story goes, I did investigations for like 20 something years and I found myself going through a divorce.
6:40
All right.
6:40
Didn't didn't write that in the books.
6:42
God knew.
6:42
Right.
6:43
I didn't know.
6:44
And when When that happened, also lost the relationship with the three most important people in my life, my stepchildren that I raised.
6:53
So my title had changed.
6:54
I was no longer a wife.
6:56
I was no longer a stepmom.
6:58
The nature of the relationship changed.
7:00
And my ex-husband worked for me for about six months in a future recovery business that I owned.
7:05
And then I was tired of that.
7:07
I didn't want to do that business.
7:08
And I gave it to him.
7:10
And then the recession hit, and my other business went under.
7:13
I was still working as an investigator for a private company doing insurance fraud investigations.
7:19
When the recession hit and the businesses went under, it got really difficult.
7:25
The landlord for a brick and mortar place, who it was a long story, had said, if anything doesn't work out, don't worry.
7:34
Well, I was young, right?
7:35
Don't sign contracts unless you agree with every single detail in the contract.
7:42
She said, it's just you and I were not using a real estate agent.
7:46
I should have known then.
7:48
And so when the recession hit and it went under, she said, that's your problem, not mine.
7:52
And she was going to sue me for $98,000.
7:55
So what I learned then is that bankruptcy is not only for people who don't spend their money wisely, but it's also for protection.
8:01
I couldn't even tell anybody that I had to file for bankruptcy because I was so humiliated.
8:06
So in that bankruptcy and the recession, I lost everything.
8:09
I lost the two homes I had before I was married.
8:12
and filed for bankruptcy.
8:14
Well guess what you can't be when you have bankruptcy in your repertoire.
8:19
You are now, according to the courts and society, bribeable.
8:25
Right?
8:25
So you can't be an investigator anymore.
8:28
Right?
8:28
So a 23-year career was gone.
8:31
So now I'm unemployed.
8:33
Right?
8:35
And unemployable in my career field.
8:38
So where do I go from there?
8:40
That's where the story really started.
8:41
Things actually got worse from there.
8:42
They became serious.
8:44
I was in like three car accidents.
8:46
I walked in the middle of my home in a robbery, during the middle of a robbery.
8:50
My dad was diagnosed with cancer.
8:52
My dog was killed in front of me.
8:53
My dad died.
8:54
My mom moved and my roommate committed suicide.
8:57
So I was a hot mess, right?
9:00
And here's what I've learned.
9:01
God will give you what you need to teach.
9:03
All right.
9:04
And I had to.
9:06
study mindset and do everything to keep my eye on surviving, right?
9:11
Joyce Meyer became one of my best friends during that time, not personally, but I went to sleep listening to her and I'll never forget one of the things that she said is, you know, God will take care of the least of these.
9:22
So he's going to take care of you.
9:23
Aren't you more important than the birds and the bees?
9:25
And she said, when's the last time you saw a bird on a branch ready to have a nervous breakdown?
9:30
All right.
9:30
So using God's word to strengthen my mind.
9:34
And she also wrote the battlefield of the mind.
9:36
great, great book.
9:37
Because the Word gives you a ton of advice on what you should be thinking about.
9:43
And I don't know if this is true, but do know how many times, have you heard how many times the word do not, the words do not fear is in the Bible?
9:51
Nope.
9:52
I've never looked it up to see if it's true, but allegedly it's 365 times.
10:00
What does that tell you?
10:02
looking right now.
10:04
I'm looking approximately 365 times that's what it says.
10:08
I guess depends on the translation.
10:10
right?
10:11
And fear really is a mindset, right?
10:14
It's what you think about.
10:15
So I started studying mindset years and years ago and I went into, I had been working with a natural health practitioner.
10:23
So I became a health coach, right?
10:26
Got certified for that.
10:27
I could get those clients so far.
10:30
And then I went into weight loss expert and I could get them so far, but the tears would always come.
10:35
And I didn't feel I was equipped to deal with the tears.
10:37
What's underneath it, right?
10:39
What's the root cause?
10:40
And that's when I really started diving into mindset for other people.
10:44
And that's when the nature of my business changed.
10:47
Obviously it morphed into real estate coaching and business coaching.
10:51
But that is when, when I studied mindset is when all of my limiting beliefs that I had picked up a long life.
11:00
started to shift because what you think about you bring about think about isn't worry God doesn't want us to worry he commands us to not worry All right, what is worry?
11:10
It's really a prayer for what you don't All right, so that's how it just morphed over time.
11:20
And I'll never forget when I got into real estate coaching, one of my health clients that I was doing diet and nutrition and weight loss for was a real estate agent ran his team, handed me a book and said, can you coach my team?
11:34
And I was like, I'm gonna read the book and we're gonna coach the team.
11:38
Right, and then in business, I started realizing.
11:42
all of the mindset shifts that people needed to have.
11:46
Think about it.
11:46
Why do people not call?
11:48
Why don't they sit down and call their sphere?
11:51
rate of rejection, laziness, yeah.
11:55
well, and it really boils down to what I hear, Garrett, is I don't know who to call so they don't have a plan, right?
12:02
And if I do call, I don't know what to say.
12:05
And then we get through that, you know, come from contribution.
12:09
How can I make your day better?
12:10
Checking in on you, have a charity event, right, that you're inviting them to, whatever the reason is.
12:15
We got a whole bunch of reasons you can call coming from community connection impact, right?
12:20
Things like that, authenticity.
12:23
And then the next thing is we dive even deeper is, well, I'm afraid they're going to think I really want something.
12:29
That I'm going to sound salesy.
12:32
They're going to see through.
12:34
I'm bothering them.
12:35
They don't want to hear from me.
12:37
And all that comes back to the six inches in between the between the ears.
12:41
It is interesting.
12:42
mean, well, I'm going to come back to pieces of that, but all of that, is how much time we spend with an assumption of what a response will be when, not that I track this, but then what percentage does that actually come true?
12:56
You know, if I call or I'm worried about that, what's the likelihood that it actually happens?
13:01
Probably less than 5%.
13:04
Who knows, right?
13:04
I'm making that up, but pretty low.
13:06
But what would I think it is above 50%, right?
13:09
And so It is, it's the things that we tell ourselves, the assumptions that we make of a response that keep us from doing what needs to be done.
13:18
Right.
13:18
And part of that is like, just get over it and realize that that's not going to happen.
13:21
You know, it depends on who you are.
13:23
If you're, know, I had a coach early on in my career in 2014 and she said, look, Garrett, cause I was worried about that.
13:29
Right.
13:29
Everybody's worried about that.
13:30
I was worried about that early on.
13:31
said, Garrett, if you're the kind of person that has no problem asking everybody that you ever meet, do you want to buy a house?
13:36
Then you should probably do it less.
13:38
But if you're the person that struggles to do it because you don't want to bother anyone, you need to do it more.
13:42
And that's just the reality of it, right?
13:44
Is just be willing to figure that out and work through it.
13:47
But so, OK, we're going to come back to that.
13:49
But real quick.
13:50
So in this season where everything's going wrong, how long of a season is that?
13:55
that over years?
13:56
Is that a smaller?
13:58
Over a decade?
13:59
Wow.
13:59
OK.
14:00
Are you a you a believer at that point, Monica?
14:02
Like it.
14:03
here's what's really interesting.
14:06
I had, so I grew up, God was never mentioned in our household.
14:12
As a young adult, I became Catholic.
14:15
And then in this marriage, I had not found a church in the area and I had stopped going.
14:23
I was not walking the walk like at all.
14:25
I wasn't growing my relationship.
14:26
wasn't praying.
14:27
I wasn't reading the world.
14:28
I wasn't doing devotional.
14:29
I wasn't going to church.
14:29
I wasn't connecting with other believers, nada.
14:32
He got my attention, right?
14:34
And I'll never forget a friend of mine, and this is about 20 years ago, at the beginning of that decade of devastation, had been trying to get me to go to church.
14:43
And when I called him, when all the poop was hitting the fan, he's like, you need to come.
14:49
And I went and I sat down and I've got notebooks upon notebooks upon notebooks of notes I talk.
14:57
God was speaking right to me through that pastor, right to me.
15:01
through that pastor.
15:02
And I've never missed a beat.
15:04
So in the beginning, no.
15:06
I was a believer.
15:08
And I've heard other people say this, Garrett, like I knew of God, right?
15:12
And I knew facts about God and I believed he existed, but I know God, right?
15:19
I wasn't working on my own relationship with him.
15:22
And I wasn't walking the walk, right?
15:25
I was a good person, but there's a big difference, right?
15:29
scripture even says even the demons believe in shutter, right?
15:32
So they're aware of him as well, just like we can be.
15:35
But, you you started talking about, so the shift for you is the recognition of all the things that scripture teaches, even for the sake of mindset, right?
15:44
For the sake of battling fear and obviously among many, many things, it all points to Christ and our need of him.
15:50
But what was that, right?
15:51
What was that shift for you?
15:53
So you're coming through this season, lots of things, the decade of devastation, I think you just said.
15:58
and you start to realize what that man if I can't control my own mind then it's going to get even worse and worse is that kind of what you're thinking and then you just go to work.
16:08
Yeah, okay.
16:09
And now I'm going to work at Sprouts for 10 bucks an hour.
16:13
Right.
16:14
And I was putting in resumes for new positions that I didn't really have a lot of experience in.
16:21
Right.
16:22
Whether it was health coaching or things like that.
16:24
And nothing was going anywhere.
16:27
So I had to work on my mindset to get out of bed every single day.
16:33
And at one point I was working five different jobs, all low-level jobs from here to here from 5 a.m.
16:38
to 9 p.m.
16:39
sometimes, right?
16:40
Whether I became a trainer, I was willing to do whatever it took, right?
16:45
That was legal.
16:48
And it all brought me to where I was, but every single day I had to work on my inset.
16:54
I started a solid morning routine and a solid night routine.
16:58
Cause if you're not well rested, what happens to the six inches in between the ears?
17:01
It's all over the place.
17:02
You go down that rabbit hole and you're tired.
17:05
It gets worse, right?
17:06
So paying attention, and I help my clients with that, paying attention to what you pour into your head the hour before bed is huge.
17:13
Cause it's going to marinate like a really good steak for the next eight hours.
17:16
So why not put the word of God in?
17:18
There's a YouTube channel called Grace for Purpose prayers.
17:21
Why not go to sleep to that?
17:22
They got sleep ones.
17:24
that are on YouTube, but if it's for sleep, there's no commercials typically.
17:29
So programming your brain is what I learned about because our brain is one of the biggest computers around.
17:35
God made our brains so incredible.
17:40
so if I talk about the morning routines and the night routines and going after what you want, I started learning about creative visualization.
17:48
What does the word say about praying.
17:51
It says, and I don't know the scripture, but it says pray as if you've received it.
17:56
What does that mean?
17:57
Right?
17:58
Emotionally, mentally, right?
18:00
You see it, you feel it, you think it.
18:03
And there's a story that goes along with that.
18:05
Kobe Bryant would do creative visualization before he a free throw shot.
18:11
And he talked about how he would hear the crowd roaring when it went in.
18:16
So he would visualize, he would feel the ball in his hands, right?
18:21
And he would see him throwing it, see it go into the hoop, hear it, hear the crowds, right, roaring when it went in.
18:30
He said he would taste the sweat on his upper lip and smell the BO on the court.
18:37
That's praying as if you've received it because when that happens, all those things are triggered.
18:42
So why wouldn't we use visualization?
18:46
All right, in the mind.
18:48
It's a It's a powerful tool and the word speaks to it.
18:53
Yeah, I think it's definitely in again as we continue to dive into mindset, but it's definitely a reality of, you know, James says you ask and do not receive because you asked to spin it on your passions.
19:03
I think there's an there's two pieces in my experience, right?
19:06
Is one we don't ask.
19:08
This is me, right?
19:09
You have two camps and I'm going to say these are extremes, but one camp extreme is we don't ask because you were like, well, I'm not going to ask God of something big like I'm just going to show up and do my thing today.
19:20
I don't want to pray.
19:21
for big things and i want to ask for big things and just gonna like shop in whatever i'll live a small life on on purpose by which may be the lord is calling you to something quote unquote smaller if you're working for him it's it's part of the bigger plan but you know i'm not gonna push myself to something bigger and then you have somebody on the other side it's like give me all these things right in like there's an expectation that you just get the lord's gonna give it to us is if he's a peasant Spencer uh...
19:44
in and he isn't right you know that that's not how this works if we don't receive it it's cuz we're gonna spend on our passions But then I think that leads us to a lack of what you're talking about, which is the pursuit of, right?
19:57
When the Lord sanctifies us and makes us more like Him, it's so that the desires of our hearts are starting to become what His desires are.
20:05
And so we show up and say, Lord, you know, I, whatever that looks like, right?
20:09
Whatever the scenario might be, but Lord, as I go out and speak before this group, I just desire and I can see the people being touched.
20:18
by the words that are being said, right?
20:20
Being, hearing from you, hear whatever it is.
20:23
Like when we're praying, when my pastor prays at church on Sunday, Holy spirit speak in ways that I can't, right?
20:29
And he believes that that's going to happen because scripture says it will.
20:32
And so I think like we just tend to go one or the other extreme.
20:36
I'm just not going to do it.
20:37
And the other one is I'll do it all the time.
20:38
And I'll assume he's just going to give me what I want, which also isn't biblical or accurate.
20:42
And so when you talk about visual visualization, right?
20:46
Or we don't have to go down that road, but just mindset in general, the bulletproof mindset.
20:51
How do we actually build those things?
20:52
Because that is the struggle.
20:54
How do you build a bulletproof mindset, Monica?
20:56
Walk us through that.
20:57
I think that step number one is start thinking about what you're thinking about.
21:00
All right.
21:03
And so the limiting beliefs.
21:04
And I actually want to back up a little bit and give some information on how do these filters through which we see ourselves in the world around us form.
21:13
Right.
21:13
And it's through our experiences.
21:15
And I often tell people that, we're born, Garrett, unapologetically us.
21:19
Right.
21:20
How many children do you have?
21:22
Okay.
21:22
Did any of them care about what the cry face looked like when they cried?
21:27
Nope.
21:28
Any of them care how loud it is?
21:30
it.
21:30
Absolutely not.
21:35
Still don't.
21:37
Yeah, yeah.
21:40
Nope.
21:41
That's right.
21:42
Yeah.
21:42
Because we are showing up unapologetically the way God created us to be and we've not been introduced to the world of judgment by our people, not by God, right?
21:56
By people.
21:57
then as we start growing up, people say things to us, they do things to us.
22:01
We witness things, right, in life.
22:04
We read things, we see things, we hear things, we experience things.
22:08
And that forms filters through which we see the world around us.
22:12
And I want to give you an example before we...
22:14
Because a lot of people are like, my mindset's fine.
22:18
Right?
22:18
I can tell you within 10 minutes of talking to you, and I'm not going to call you out on it, but I will ask questions, right?
22:25
and to get you thinking about what you're thinking about.
22:28
So here's an example that I've got permission to share.
22:31
We were group coaching years ago, a bunch of real estate agents.
22:34
were doing in person.
22:35
So this is before COVID, when I lived in Denver.
22:38
And I said, so who is calling their sphere as one of their modalities, one of your top three ways that you get leads in the door.
22:47
And one person said, oh, I don't do that anymore.
22:51
So as a mindset strategist, I pay attention to words.
22:54
I'm listening.
22:55
So when you hear, don't do that anymore, he's telling me he used to do it.
23:01
So I said, okay, what happened the last time you did it?
23:05
And he said, well, I called one of the people I call every three to six months and he said, don't you ever, and he threw an explicit of in there, call me again and he hung up on me.
23:16
And said, okay, I said, so what did you make that mean?
23:19
And his response, I'll never forget.
23:22
He said, I realized, I realized, so this means it's a truth, right?
23:28
I realized that people not only do they not want to work with me, they don't even like me.
23:36
Right?
23:37
One phone call, right?
23:39
And that's how powerful other people can be in our reality.
23:43
Never thought twice about it, never dug deeper into it.
23:46
So I asked them a couple of questions.
23:50
The first question was, So what did you, well, the first question I already asked, what did you make that mean?
23:56
And that's when he said, I realized, right?
23:58
And then I said, what else could it have meant?
24:01
What else could have happened in that gentleman's last 24 hours that caused him to react to you that way that was not about you?
24:07
And then he said, well, I guess he could have had a bad day.
24:10
And everyone around the table started to begin, what if his wife just died?
24:14
What if the house you sold him burned down?
24:16
What if you filed bankruptcy?
24:17
What if he's got a terminal diagnosis?
24:19
What if his baby is missing?
24:20
What if, what if, what if?
24:22
There could be a thousand reasons that people react instead of respond.
24:26
And the mindset is about that as well.
24:29
Do you react?
24:29
Do you lose your cool?
24:31
Or do you thoughtfully go, let me go take a deep breath and process what's going on.
24:37
Right?
24:38
So then, then he realized that it's not always about him, right?
24:43
And he can't make other people's words or actions mean anything about him.
24:48
Right?
24:48
Another quick example.
24:51
and then we'll go on to the fix, right?
24:53
And I think it's important for us to know, because like I said, a lot of people will say, my mindset's fine, you know, it's unstoppable.
25:00
And when you question, but is it really?
25:02
So what would happen if you got the biggest deal of your life, multi-million, say a million was your highest, right, that you've ever sold and suddenly you got a $500 million property to sell?
25:14
You excited?
25:15
Yep, that vibration, right, is way up, your energy is up, you're excited, you're on top of the world, unstoppable.
25:20
Why?
25:20
The client came into the session unstoppable, feeling on top of the world.
25:25
Seven days later, our next session, energy is completely different.
25:30
What's going on?
25:31
Tears, I lost the deal.
25:32
All right, so two questions when things don't go the way we want.
25:37
Number one, how could this be happening for you?
25:41
And I swear to God, some people do want to punch me through the screen when I ask that, because that's a hard question.
25:46
I mean, that's a hard question.
25:48
Because if God will use all things for our good, so if we don't know the answer to that, I'll say if you did know, what would it be?
25:58
I know you don't know, but if you did know, what would it be?
26:01
And one of the things I would suggest, how could that be happening for you, what if there's going to be a multi, multi-million dollar lawsuit involved in that property and the real estate agent of choice goes under and reputation is ruined for a lifetime.
26:13
Do you still want that deal?
26:17
Probably not.
26:18
What if God closes the door as a form of protection?
26:21
Is there a difference in responding?
26:23
Going, thank you Father.
26:25
I don't know why, but if you close that door, then there's something even better coming down the pipe.
26:30
All right, so that's number one.
26:31
How could it be happening for you?
26:32
Number two, what have you learned?
26:35
There's a mindset rule that I follow, Garrett, and that's that there are no failures.
26:42
None.
26:43
There is not if you never fail in life.
26:45
you only have an opportunity to grow or learn.
26:50
So what did you learn?
26:52
The response was, well, I learned that I need to develop a point of relationship with all decision makers.
26:58
I develop a point of relationship with the spouse where the wife made the ultimate decision.
27:04
She wanted to go with her friend.
27:07
So there was a learning, right?
27:08
And accepting within 30 minutes, we turned it around.
27:11
The tears were gone.
27:11
We're moving on to the next thing.
27:13
All right.
27:14
So mindset.
27:15
If people go down the rabbit hole, right, of rejection and fear, you can stick one toe in there.
27:21
What's the enemy going to do when you stick a toe into the rabbit hole of rejection, fear, not being enough, never gonna, can't?
27:30
The enemy will grasp you and just suck you right in unless you fight it.
27:35
So when you recognize a thought, the first thing I have people is write down that thought and then write down Does that thought, is that what God would say about you?
27:49
It's good.
27:50
guarantee if it's anything then you're I created you and you're awesome and you're loved and you can do this.
27:57
It's not from him.
27:58
Right.
27:59
And then you cross that out and you write down the affirmation of what God would say about you or the situation and affirmations.
28:09
It says meditate on the word.
28:13
Right?
28:13
What does God say about you?
28:15
You're loved, you're cherished, you're worthy.
28:18
All the things.
28:19
Right?
28:20
And then we just did a three day mindset reset challenge.
28:23
And Garrett, I'm telling you, when we start thinking about what we're thinking about, right?
28:29
I call it these little gremlins.
28:32
you This is the itty bitty poopy committee.
28:41
Why he looks cute and fuzzy until he rears his ugly head and does that, right?
28:46
And then gets in your way.
28:47
He'll stand there like a brick wall and he's going to tell you, you can't call people because you're going to sound salesy.
28:53
You're going to be bothering them, right?
28:55
You're not enough.
28:56
They're going to think you want something.
28:58
No one wants to hear from you.
29:00
Everybody's got a real estate agent.
29:02
Hmm.
29:03
All right?
29:04
What about going into appointments?
29:06
Do we go in worried if we're going to get it or do we go in with a mindset of a champion that this is a celebration?
29:13
Can you imagine the energy difference when you walk in to maybe your first multi-million dollar listing?
29:19
If you go in nervous versus knowing God's on your side and if this is for you, it's yours.
29:25
If it's not for you, he's got something different and better and that's okay.
29:29
Right?
29:30
if it's not for you, matter how good you are at it, you're not gonna get it.
29:34
It is not our decision.
29:36
Yeah, right.
29:37
Garrett, when I sat down in this chair, my friend, I didn't go, are you going to hold me?
29:45
You got me?
29:47
No.
29:48
I plopped my big old butt down and I sat down and I trusted that it was going to hold my weight.
29:54
I never ask it.
29:55
I never question it.
29:57
Ever.
29:59
So why aren't we turning to God?
30:01
Why aren't we turning to the truth?
30:04
in all things.
30:06
number one, recognize it.
30:08
Right?
30:09
Number two, interrogate reality.
30:11
Is that true?
30:13
Who is it from?
30:14
And then write down the affirmation, ask God, what's the truth?
30:17
And write down the affirmation of what it is.
30:20
Which leads us to the rewiring of the brain.
30:23
And that's science-based.
30:25
Well, who created science?
30:26
Right?
30:27
I think in my mind, and tell me if anything's wrong, God gave scientists the ability to understand what he created.
30:39
mean...
30:39
unless he's allowed it to be revealed.
30:41
A thousand percent.
30:42
Yes.
30:43
Yeah.
30:44
And so the science shows that the neuroplasticity of the brain, it can be rewired, right?
30:51
So think of, you know, people, you know, and this, are extreme cases, right?
30:56
Where, you know, parents are abusive or alcoholic parents or parents that just aren't nice to their children that say, you're this, you're never gonna, you're never gonna, you know, things like that.
31:07
Number one, what we need to look at is forgiveness.
31:11
Right?
31:11
Because you're carrying that burden around and forgiveness is for us, not them.
31:16
Doesn't mean what they did is okay.
31:18
We've got a whole forgiveness process.
31:20
We go through clients so you're not carrying that around because bitterness will rot our bones.
31:24
Even if we say we're over it, right?
31:26
We need to, and it doesn't mean you got to go to them and say, forgive you.
31:30
But what it does mean is you've got to be able to think about them and not feel the anger and hate, right?
31:35
So that you're clear and give it to God.
31:37
He's the judge, not us.
31:41
Yeah.
31:42
Where was I going with that, Garrett?
31:44
I was going somewhere really good.
31:46
Poof! Gone.
31:47
I thought it was too.
31:48
it still was.
31:49
So when you, when you get it back, come back to me, but yeah, all I was going to say to, to, to, throw in my perspective there as well as, you know, this idea you talked about, you go into this listing appointment, are you going to get it?
32:01
What, what's your mindset, what's your mentality?
32:03
mean, literally this morning with my business partner, Dave Kajiano, and, we've got the two 10 collective, but we're, we're merging our teams together to form the two 10 realty group.
32:12
And we're going to do that locally, but I was telling and confessing to him and like, man, we, want us to have honest conversations as the leaders of this team.
32:18
But I said, man, I find it true that it's so the, the, they are so close to each other.
32:25
Or one is I all of a sudden I'm just about money and pursuing what the world has to offer.
32:30
Right.
32:31
The temptation that, the devil gave to Jesus is I can make you king of this entire world.
32:36
Right.
32:36
And praise God that Christ was unable to send and, and did it break that obedience to the father like we do?
32:42
But it's that, right?
32:43
And then I bounce back to, on, my heart is sinful and wicked.
32:48
God, really, my responsibility here should not be about what's the goal and how much money I'm going to make, but it should be about, just show me what you want me to show up and do and help me do that with excellence.
32:58
Because the outcome is dependent on whatever you want anyways, right?
33:02
It doesn't matter what I think it's supposed to happen.
33:05
doesn't matter, you know, anything that I do, we should be excellent to the glory of God.
33:09
But no matter what, even if I'm excellent.
33:12
and i don't get it it's not because there's a problem with me per se we need a understand and say could i got better at this this aspects those are two separate things was i was excellent as i should be that's one question what was the outcome that's the lord's decision right we don't decide that and so for me is i you know it's talking to do about that processing myself this morning the recognition of it's not about pursuing how do i could get more deals how do i do this how do i do that it's about and you talked about authenticity, but Lord, what do you desire of me to be excellent in?
33:45
And so for me, for example, that's teaching.
33:47
So how do I then be excellent in it?
33:49
So I try to show up and teach in ways that I'm excellent in that would serve people because the Lord gifted me in that way for a specific reason.
33:57
It's not just so it's fun, it's so it can glorify Him.
33:59
And then the reality is the outcome is up to Him.
34:03
The input's up to me.
34:04
The output is up to Him.
34:07
and so even in the mindset that we have like you said i can shop and say i think i'm gonna get this deal and if i do praise god and if i don't praise god because there's a reason for that maybe the other agent got it needed it right and i didn't because the lord's gonna provide in whatever way and so yet there's so many things that we tell ourselves and we are inundated with the word which is really hard to be we are inundated with the word what happens we listen to what the world says we listen to what's naturally in us which Scripture again says is deceitfully wicked.
34:37
So why are we even listening to ourselves anyways, right?
34:39
I'm my own worst critic.
34:41
I'm my own biggest sinner and distraction, right?
34:43
I'm the one that's gonna try to pull me away.
34:46
You know, my son was saying, my five year old son was saying in the car, the devil makes us sin.
34:50
No, he doesn't.
34:50
Scripture says that he tempts us, but it's the sin that already lives in us that makes us sin, right?
34:56
That's what comes out.
34:57
there's...
34:58
There's sin, wickedness in us.
35:00
And guys, the good news is Christ came and died for that sin so that we could be in right relationship with the Father, but that's already in us.
35:06
So why are we listening to ourselves anyways, right?
35:08
Why are we not taking those thoughts captive?
35:10
That is the biblical approach of what that looks like.
35:12
word taking those thoughts captive.
35:15
And that does remind me because once you think about so we were talking about the parent, right, who's always saying that the bad thing or the school teacher says one thing and then the kids, they write on that, right.
35:27
So science will even show you like if you have a drip of water going onto a rock, it doesn't do anything for the first few days, weeks, maybe months or years, but after years, what happens?
35:41
It drills a hole in it, right?
35:43
Because it's really, it just drills a hole through it.
35:47
Well, our brains are the same because of the neuroplasticity, right?
35:51
So those thoughts get embedded after hearing them.
35:54
Sometimes it's once and then we believe it, right?
35:57
Because we don't question it or challenge it.
35:58
Well, the opposite is true.
36:00
And you say, why don't we inundate ourselves with the word?
36:03
Well, why don't we?
36:04
Why aren't we listening to the Word while we're working out or while in the background while we're getting ready in the morning?
36:09
Right?
36:09
Turn on a Grace for Purpose prayer, turn on your favorite pastor and pour that Word into your head.
36:15
I did it for 10 years while I was going to sleep, right?
36:19
To help reprogram my brain.
36:21
And I know that sounds scientific, but God created the brain and it's so intricate, you can reprogram it.
36:28
Right?
36:29
And you can reprogram according to what he says.
36:31
But the step one is you have to start thinking about what you're thinking about.
36:34
And then you have to actively hold those thoughts captive.
36:38
Right?
36:39
And make a choice to speak good into yourself and question where the thoughts came from.
36:44
Clarity is power.
36:47
I think when you realize where the thoughts came from, it can be so powerful because then you can look at that situation from a more godly, a higher perspective.
36:57
and ask God what you need to learn from it and what the truth is.
37:01
And there's something else that goes along with the science.
37:05
there's a saying that I use that is what you think about, and other people have said it, what you think about, you bring about, and what you focus on expands.
37:14
So if you're teaching a teenager to drive and you say, don't hit the curb 10 times, don't hit the curb, don't hit the curb, what are they looking at?
37:21
Mmm, the curb.
37:22
What are they going to hit?
37:24
The curb.
37:25
Right?
37:26
Because they're focused on it.
37:28
literally hit the curb today.
37:29
My wife's like, you're a terrible driver.
37:30
I'm like, yeah, you're right.
37:31
Someone told me not to look at the curb.
37:33
That had to be it.
37:33
I'll blame somebody else.
37:34
Yeah, yeah.
37:38
It's true.
37:39
Yeah, Yeah.
37:40
Right?
37:41
So, and the same thing like when you bought a car, a new to you car, did you start seeing that car everywhere?
37:48
Right?
37:48
So there was a, in mindset coaching, there's a saying that the conscious mind is the goal setter.
37:56
You and I go, okay, this is the goal.
37:57
I'm going to impact a thousand lives this year or 2000 lives or 1 million lives.
38:01
We set the goal.
38:03
The unconscious mind, the part of your mind that you don't tell it what to do, but it does it.
38:09
Do you sit there and go, heart beat, come on, take a breath, beat, beat.
38:14
No, that your unconscious mind takes care of all those things in the background.
38:18
Right.
38:19
Have you ever driven somewhere and then kind of snap out of it when you got there and go, oh, wow, we're here already.
38:25
Right.
38:25
You were daydreaming, but you're Your unconscious mind still got you there because you've programmed it, you've driven it several times and it knows where to turn and things like that.
38:33
So if the conscious mind is the goal setter, the unconscious mind is the goal getter.
38:38
And so the last time you bought a car, did you start seeing that same car everywhere?
38:43
Right?
38:45
That's your unconscious mind.
38:47
It's not like you're going, I'm going to look for the same car I bought or they produced more.
38:51
It was there, but you missed it.
38:53
And there's some great videos out there.
38:55
One's called the monkey illusion.
38:57
that shows the same thing.
38:58
It tells the person, it says, watch the video and on the screen it says, count the number of passes between the team members with a white shirt.
39:08
And so you're telling conscious mind, count the passes.
39:12
You're so focused on counting the passes, then it pauses and says, how many did you guess?
39:17
And then I people guess, you know, 16, 15, whatever.
39:20
Then the next thing says, did you see the monkey?
39:25
Have you ever seen this video?
39:27
Yeah, there's this big monkey girl that comes in the middle.
39:30
does a jig and then he leaves.
39:33
50 % of the people don't see it.
39:35
Why?
39:36
Because they told their conscious mind to count the passes and they did.
39:39
missed the other opportunities.
39:40
Now translate that to our mindset.
39:43
If you've been told you're not enough, your unconscious mind will see more evidence that you're not enough.
39:50
If you've been told you're a rock star and a great artist, you will become one.
39:55
because you're told that, right?
39:57
It gets embedded in your mind.
39:59
You see those opportunities.
40:01
So if we start thinking about what we're thinking about, it shapes our entire reality and we become limitless in what God can do with us and through us.
40:12
I think it's personally the enemy that says, no, don't hold those thoughts captive.
40:19
Well, I think you, I mean, the, the, know we got a wrap, but one last thought on what you're saying.
40:24
The original sin, right, is Eve saying, I'm not going to listen to what the Lord has told me, which is this, I'm going to avoid this, this tree.
40:33
I'm going to listen to what the serpent is telling me and ultimately herself and saying, actually, I think this is probably okay.
40:39
And so that that's the original sin, right?
40:41
Is the, choosing of listening to an outside source and an inwards.
40:46
shouldn't have sin at the time, but like an inward struggle instead of listening to just what did the Lord say?
40:52
And it's exactly what you talked about, right?
40:54
I think we can apply that to anything is this is what the industry says to do with your business.
40:59
What did the Lord say, right?
41:00
Did the Lord say, up your family so you can make 100K?
41:03
Absolutely not, right?
41:04
This is what you're telling yourself.
41:06
Well, what did the Lord say about you?
41:08
Like, you know, all of these things.
41:10
And for us as believers, The beauty is our foundation is Christ.
41:14
That's our identity.
41:15
We're going to fail.
41:16
We're going to make mistakes.
41:16
We're going to sin.
41:17
We're going to do stupid things.
41:18
We're have stupid thoughts.
41:19
We're going to do all the things.
41:21
But the reality is the Lord knew that.
41:23
He was fully aware of that and yet he sent his son anyways.
41:27
Nothing catches him by surprise.
41:30
Yeah, you're right.
41:31
And again, it is this reality of us taking responsibility for the life that we've been given.
41:37
Right.
41:37
We want to live it well.
41:39
And I think you look through scripture and so many different examples, right?
41:43
But you look through scripture and you see Paul and the wrestling that he has in his mind and the things that he says and all that he does.
41:49
But what did he do right after Paul got saved?
41:51
And so Paul gets saved on the road to Damascus.
41:53
He has those scales on his eyes, the scales come off.
41:56
It says that he spent three years basically by himself, wherever that was, just learning about the word.
42:02
And he was preparing his heart so that when he went out into the world that was going to wildly fight back against someone who had persecuted the church, he was ready with the truth of what God said.
42:13
How does he handle, and he's not the hero of the story Jesus is, but how does Paul handle getting beaten basically to death multiple times or thrown in prison?
42:22
It was the Word of God.
42:24
Like, that's what he always fell back on.
42:26
It's the one thing that will always be here.
42:28
Everything else will fade away.
42:30
And so I think exactly what you're talking about, it's a lot of people i think monica when they think mindset they think who who kinda you know non-christian whatever weird stuff bubble blood and i think the point here is fall back on the word what does it say right pay attention to what you're saying to yourself love that you say that, Garrett.
42:51
I just taught a class to a bunch of real estate investors.
42:55
And on screen slide one, it said, what's going to happen today?
42:59
And it says, you're going to make a decision.
43:01
Is mine said a bunch of woo woo?
43:04
Because a lot of people think it is.
43:06
just think positive.
43:08
No, it's what God wants for you.
43:11
He wants you to have a clear mind.
43:14
Right?
43:15
And I ask people, Garrett, are you operating at your full potential, keeping in mind that your calendar should reflect your priorities?
43:24
God, family, business.
43:30
Right?
43:31
It's got to go in that order.
43:32
It doesn't work the other ways.
43:36
Yeah.
43:37
Yeah.
43:37
I'm, you know, and that's such a hard reminder because we just don't operate that way most of the time, right?
43:42
I'm literally, when we're done, I'm taking the rest of the day off and I'm going to go hang out with my wife.
43:46
She was out of town for the weekend.
43:48
And so it's like, those are practical.
43:50
I'm not always great at that.
43:51
Don't nobody applaud me for that, but you know, those are practical things that we have to do to say, this is how I set the priority.
43:58
This is how I show it.
43:59
You're going to spend more time at work than you probably do doing anything else.
44:02
That's okay.
44:04
but it is all of those other pieces.
44:06
It's what's following you home when you're home from work, where do you continue to tell yourself?
44:11
And you know, exactly what you say.
44:12
We all struggle with this.
44:13
I struggle with this.
44:14
Everybody struggles with this.
44:15
No one's got it perfect by any means, but yeah, the reality of, you know, we, we come home and, and I'll just say this for, for husbands and wives and any of us, but you know, if you're married, I heard a pastor say that, you know, we're always worried about the most dangerous thing that will happen to our spouse is that a robber breaks in or somebody, the thief or whatever, you know, same thing, I guess, but someone breaks in to try to injure him.
44:40
said, no, no, no, no.
44:41
The most dangerous thing is that you walk through that door every single day, you and all your sin and your wife willingly lets you in.
44:47
Your sin is the most dangerous thing to the person that you love.
44:50
And yet we don't think about it that way.
44:52
Right.
44:52
So why do I say that?
44:53
Because part of having a bulletproof mindset, and it's impossible to be bulletproof right completely but part of the work here is to say how do i take these thoughts captive how do i show up and say all right i'm not enough but christ is enough how do i encourage my wife i don't have you know i don't have the energy i don't have the stamina whatever i'm tired blah blah blah lord you grant me the energy and the clarity and the peace that i need help me to put away the things that have bothered me today so i can show up better for my wife you can ask him of those things and he will grant them because he's kind and merciful.
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And so I think when I think about a bulletproof mindset, it's not just about our business, it's about everything else, right?
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And if we can't control that.
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And if you think about it, because how you show up, there's another saying, how you show up here is how you show up everywhere.
45:39
Right?
45:39
And so if you show up scattered and all over the place or not present, right, when you're with your kids or with your wife, are you showing up that same way with clients?
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Right?
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And it pours into you, you can't segment your parts of life, but the goal, I believe is being intentional about how you're showing up, what you're thinking about, all the things, becoming 1 % better every day.
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And the other question I ask people is, you operating at your full potential?
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Meaning, are you trusting others and using leverage so you can spend time?
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We're able to impact lives in other countries by hiring them and being able to support their families.
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My goal in my business, it says for my big goal, is to pay American wages to my team for a lifetime.
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I want them to be set.
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So I get to impact their lives and I'm using leverage.
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Could I do everything they do?
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I probably would well.
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I'm not allowed to touch my calendar, but I certainly couldn't have a life, right?
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And it allows me to spend more time with my family and with God.
46:54
So good.
46:54
So much here that we, I, sorry, audience.
46:57
know it went way longer than normal, but it was just good.
46:59
And we needed to hear those things, Monica.
47:01
So I love that you shared it, but obviously there's so much more we could go into that we don't have time for.
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If they want more Monica, or if they want to connect with you or guys, y'all are looking for a coach, know, Monica should be someone that you reach out to.
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I'm an advocate for if they love Jesus and they're good at what they do, you should at least talk to that person.
47:16
So, Monica, if that's something they're looking for, how do they find you?
47:19
How would they reach out to you?
47:20
awesome, awesome.
47:21
So I'm going to give you a number that they can text or they can look at my website.
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So the website is monicaKcoaching.com and my email address is my name, Monica at Monica, the letter K, the word coaching.com and my direct number.
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And sometimes it takes me a minute to get through all the text.
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But I do respond to everybody, right?
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Cause I believe that I was built to connect.
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And here's what's really interesting.
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A friend gave me a Bible and she wrote in the beginning, she goes, do you know what the biblical meaning of your name Monica is?
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And I said, no, she was his advisor.
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Which was so cool.
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So the phone number where I can be reached at and I prefer texts to get the party started so we can set this time, even for a complimentary call, I do a one hour acceleration call where I'm just going to pour into you.
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No strings attached, no hard sales, anything like that is 720-338-2586.
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That's where I get to like to, set an appointment for an hour.
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I want to know who they are inside and outside of their business, whether it's real estate or otherwise, because I can't help someone who I don't know, right?
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And then we build a business plan.
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I'll give them a lot of strategies based on who they are as a person.
48:36
awesome.
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And that, Agents, will be in the show notes as well.
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You can go check that out.
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You'll be able to click her link.
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You'll be able to send a text directly from there.
48:43
So, Monica, thank you so much for joining, for sharing your story, for talking about mindset.
48:47
Again, the conversation we could have for hours and hours and hours, and I'm not as cool as a Joe Rogan, so we don't do that here, right?
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But, Christian Agents, I hope that you'll walk away from here and say, taking thoughts captive, right, and replacing what we think with what the Lord says is true.
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Don't trust yourself.
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Trust the Word of God.
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That's my hope for all of us.
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So we love you Christian agents, and we will see you next week.
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Thanks so