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Transcript

Payton's Predictions · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Peyton, what's the vibe for Horoscopes today?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: We're heading right into the weekend, so I am letting
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: you know the person that you become after you've had
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: a few at the bar. If it's your birthday today,
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: you are a Libra, and you share a birthday with
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Ruby Rose, Gandhi, Huda from Huda Beauty, Sting, and Kelly Ripa.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Kyle is our Libra, so I'm just going to start
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: it off with you now. So Libras, after you've had
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: a few drinks, you literally become the cereal flirt. It
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: is peak Libra season and you are using seasonal cocktails
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: as liquid courage to flirt with every single person in
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: the room. You will leave with four free drinks and
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: three new phone numbers that you have zero intention of
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: texting back.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: So what you're telling me is we're like the fun drunk.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: That's exactly, exactly what I'm telling you.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Let's say hello to Carolina. Good morning. What's your sign?
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Good morning, Gemini.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: All right, so for my Geminis, after you guys have
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: had a few, you guys low-key become the bar hopper
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: from hell. You refuse to stay at one place for
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: more than 20 minutes. You are dragging the group across
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: three different bars. You lost your jacket at the second one,
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: and you still made friends with a completely new group
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: of people in the bathroom line. Oh, I got to
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: try that then.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: All right, Carolina, have a great day. Thank you for listening. Christina,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: good morning. What's your sign? Hi, I'm a Leo.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Leo, okay, just like me, Christina. So when it comes
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: to us, after we've had a few drinks at the bar...
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: We become the tabletop performer. The second a throwback song
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: comes on, we are using the nearest bench or table
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: as our personal stage. We demand everyone to take a
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: video of us taking a drink, fully expecting the entire
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: bar to cheer for us.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: That is true.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Grapevine karaoke bar in Scottsdale hates to see me
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: coming because I am working the room. Sorry. And I'm
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: playing throwback. Yes. That's funny.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: What's your karaoke song?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Gosh, I'd have to go Adele, Rolling in the Deep.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: That's a good one.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Coming up.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Hot.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: All right, have a great day, Christina. Thanks for listening.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: You too.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: How about Pisces?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Rich, when you've had a few at the bar,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: you become a tragic romantic. You are drinking a sweet
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: seasonal cocktail. You are staring longingly at the ice cubes floating.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: And you're going to text your ex saying, I hope
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: you're staying warm tonight. Before your friends can snatch your
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: phone out of your head and tell you that you
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: are making the worst mistake of your life.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: My wife says whenever I get buzzed, I start making
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: plans for us to go to Europe. Hey, let's go
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: to Europe right now.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: That's funny.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Well, When I, back when I used to drink, I
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: remember one of the things I would do, and it'd
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: be interesting to see what you have for Virgo, but
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: If you guys remember, I would grab all my friends'
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: testicles and say, whose balls are these?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Whose balls are these?
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Did do that.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Whose balls? A little game show right in the bar. Yeah,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: a fun little game show. What do you got for Virgos, Peyton?
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Virgos, you guys become the off-duty bartender who is
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: low-key a little aggressive. You have spent the entire night
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: judging everyone at the bar. You are wiping down sticky
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: tables because they're getting on your elbows. And you are
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: stress calculating how the heck everyone is going to cover
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: this tab because all of your friends have just left you. Okay.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Okay. Didn't sound at all like, whose balls are these?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: No.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: No. You are uniquely you.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Sorry.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: If we didn't get to your sign, they're all posted
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: on our website, johnjanerich.com.