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[DELETED ON YOUTUBE] The Truth About Moving to Jamaica: A Russian Dancer's Story of Love, Loss & Starting Over · Babes, how did you get here

• 0:00
  In 2019, I was sitting here in New King's town, Balcony.
• 0:04
  I was like, I actually came up to Jamaica.
• 0:07
  And my friends, they look at me like,
• 0:09
  I just opened my Leros dance studio in Moscow,
• 0:12
  and they look at me like,
• 0:13
  are you crazy or something?
• 0:15
  Like, what's wrong with you?
• 0:17
  So you then, when you were sitting on the balcony,
• 0:20
  and you decided that you could move here?
• 0:22
  It was just one foot, you know?
• 0:23
  It was just, okay, it was that random.
• 0:25
  Yeah, it was that random and I was like,
• 0:27
  no, because that time I still didn't speak English.
• 0:29
  It was dance hall, and I'm somewhere here.
• 0:33
  Sure.
• 0:34
  There are no, nothing was more important than this.
• 0:37
  Why?
• 0:38
  I just love it.
• 0:39
  I don't know, I just, do you understand?
• 0:42
  When I just started, oh my god,
• 0:44
  this feeling when you go to the party,
• 0:46
  when you just dance and you feel this amazing energy,
• 0:51
  you just, it just makes you feel so alive, so happy.
• 0:56
  And it just makes me feel so good.
• 0:58
  So, you now live in Kingston, Jamaica?
• 1:01
  Right.
• 1:02
  How long have you lived here?
• 1:04
  Okay, I came here in 2023.
• 1:07
  Yep.
• 1:07
  But before that, I lived here for two years at COVID time.
• 1:12
  You lived, so you were technically stuck here during that time?
• 1:16
  I would say I choose to stuck here, okay?
• 1:19
  Because I came here in January 2020,
• 1:23
  when COVID started and the Russian government wanted to send us back
• 1:28
  at anyone who stuck here, I was sitting and I was like,
• 1:32
  I actually already wanted to move to Jamaica.
• 1:34
  Okay.
• 1:35
  But I was like, right now I can extend my visa so easy.
• 1:39
  Because of COVID?
• 1:40
  Because of COVID.
• 1:41
  So you were here on a holiday?
• 1:43
  I came here as a dance hall dancer for three months
• 1:46
  to start the dance hall, and this is how I used to come to Jamaica.
• 1:51
  Okay.
• 1:52
  You say you used to, so that wasn't the first time.
• 1:55
  No, this was the fifth time.
• 1:57
  Fifth time?
• 1:57
  Yeah.
• 1:58
  Take me back to the first time you ever came to Jamaica.
• 2:00
  First time it was 2016.
• 2:02
  Okay.
• 2:03
  Um, I started dancing dance hall in 2013.
• 2:07
  Okay.
• 2:08
  And from that moment, it was my biggest gym to come to Jamaica.
• 2:12
  Because before that, everything I knew about Jamaica,
• 2:15
  it was Bob Marley.
• 2:16
  Right.
• 2:17
  And they deal with people's smokes with here.
• 2:19
  Right.
• 2:19
  That's it.
• 2:22
  And so at that point, you were living in Russia?
• 2:24
  Yes.
• 2:24
  What part?
• 2:25
  Um, that moment, I just moved to Moscow.
• 2:28
  Okay.
• 2:28
  From small city near Moscow.
• 2:29
  Show us the capital.
• 2:30
  Yeah.
• 2:32
  And when I started dancing dance hall in 2013,
• 2:36
  in about three months, I went to my first dance hall camp.
• 2:40
  Okay.
• 2:41
  It's where you go for like seven or six days.
• 2:44
  Okay.
• 2:44
  And you dance without stuff.
• 2:46
  And the people who made that camp,
• 2:48
  the Russian people, they actually bring the Jamaican dancers.
• 2:51
  One second.
• 2:52
  So in Russia, in Moscow,
• 2:55
  there are people going to dance hall camp.
• 2:58
  Dance hall is huge in Russia.
• 3:01
  Really?
• 3:02
  There are some events where you go there.
• 3:04
  It's like 300, 500 people dancing at the same time.
• 3:09
  Green.
• 3:09
  And Jamaican dancers here from this,
• 3:12
  streets from uptown Monday.
• 3:14
  Yep.
• 3:15
  They just teach there and 300, 400, 500 people dancing.
• 3:20
  There are most.
• 3:21
  So you go to the camp?
• 3:22
  Yep.
• 3:23
  And you're like, this is my first taste
• 3:25
  of what perhaps is down to all cultures.
• 3:28
  Yeah.
• 3:28
  And then from that moment, do you kind of have the scene planted
• 3:31
  that maybe you'll live here or is this something?
• 3:34
  No, no, no, nothing like that.
• 3:36
  Because first of all, I'm this kind of person.
• 3:39
  If I'm interested in something,
• 3:41
  I want to go so deep.
• 3:43
  Sure.
• 3:43
  Well, when I started dancing dance hall,
• 3:46
  I was this type of person who is like,
• 3:48
  I want to know everything.
• 3:50
  I want to see where this thing created.
• 3:54
  Sure.
• 3:55
  I wanted to see if dance hall is really
• 3:57
  placed everywhere in Jamaica.
• 3:59
  Okay.
• 4:00
  Because on Russian TV and radio,
• 4:03
  just play some pop music.
• 4:05
  Sure.
• 4:06
  You know, we hear some in dance hall.
• 4:07
  Right.
• 4:08
  And I was like, I can't believe I can go
• 4:10
  to supermarket and hear dance hall.
• 4:12
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• 4:13
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• 4:15
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• 4:18
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• 4:19
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• 4:22
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• 4:24
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• 4:25
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• 4:34
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• 4:39
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• 4:41
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• 4:43
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• 4:48
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• 4:50
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• 4:54
  Or I can take taxi and hear dance hall.
• 4:57
  It was like a dream because I was fell in love in dance hall.
• 5:00
  Okay, why do you fall in love with dance hall?
• 5:02
  Um, before I was a hip hop dancer for five years,
• 5:06
  and hip hop started to change,
• 5:08
  and I didn't like this change,
• 5:10
  and I was trying to find the new way
• 5:12
  where I'm going to move.
• 5:13
  Okay.
• 5:14
  And I fell in love in guy.
• 5:15
  Okay.
• 5:16
  He wasn't Jamaican.
• 5:17
  Okay.
• 5:18
  He was just a guy who was dancing dance hall that time.
• 5:21
  Okay.
• 5:22
  And I fell in love with him.
• 5:24
  Nothing worked out.
• 5:26
  This relationship wasn't good.
• 5:28
  He was living in Marshall?
• 5:29
  Yeah, he was living in Marshall.
• 5:30
  Okay.
• 5:31
  And because I fell in love,
• 5:34
  it was my really big first crush.
• 5:37
  Okay.
• 5:38
  And I was like, I want to know,
• 5:40
  because I hated dance hall before that.
• 5:43
  Oh, really?
• 5:43
  Yeah, I looked at dance hall like it's some stupid dance.
• 5:46
  You know, they're doing some clothes, a blue, right?
• 5:51
  I'm like, who is,
• 5:53
  why these people look so happy?
• 5:54
  Scooby-Doo.
• 5:55
  That's good.
• 5:56
  I'm like, I could,
• 5:58
  because I was doing something,
• 6:00
  something like running man and criss-cross,
• 6:02
  and all this serious thing.
• 6:05
  And because I fell in love,
• 6:07
  I wanted to understand, okay, why?
• 6:11
  Sure.
• 6:11
  He loved this dance.
• 6:12
  And to be honest, when I just started,
• 6:14
  I had this fault with,
• 6:16
  I just wanted to prove him, I'm a fool.
• 6:19
  Okay.
• 6:20
  That's it.
• 6:21
  But the way to his heart was through dance hall.
• 6:23
  Yeah, like, you're gonna see how I'm cooling dance hall then.
• 6:27
  The Russians have rhythm like that,
• 6:29
  to be executed in dance hall.
• 6:32
  Right now it's better, okay?
• 6:34
  But, you know,
• 6:35
  Russian dance hall is far away from Jamaica.
• 6:38
  Okay.
• 6:39
  It's just every country have their own dance hall.
• 6:42
  Sure.
• 6:42
  Because the way how Jamaican dancers dance,
• 6:45
  like, people can't really copy it.
• 6:48
  We try.
• 6:50
  We try, but we can't really.
• 6:53
  Sure.
• 6:54
  But dance hall is pretty good.
• 6:55
  I would say in Russian dance hall right now,
• 6:57
  it looks like more sheep hop way.
• 7:01
  Okay.
• 7:02
  But it still dance hall.
• 7:03
  But this was your profession.
• 7:04
  Dancing was your career.
• 7:06
  It wasn't just that you were going out on the weekend.
• 7:08
  No, I was teaching.
• 7:10
  I was one of the biggest teacher in Russia in Moscow.
• 7:14
  I travel in more than 50 different cities to teach workshop.
• 7:21
  Right.
• 7:22
  I travel once in China.
• 7:24
  Okay.
• 7:25
  And to some European countries.
• 7:26
  Yeah.
• 7:27
  And I work with companies like Nike and Adidas.
• 7:30
  Sure.
• 7:31
  Like, I was great in dance hall.
• 7:33
  But, one day I just,
• 7:38
  I just couldn't stay in that culture nor in Russia or in dance hall.
• 7:43
  In culture, in dance hall.
• 7:44
  Okay.
• 7:45
  So, by this point, you've taken your first ship to Jamaica.
• 7:49
  How long after the camp?
• 7:51
  Three years.
• 7:52
  Okay.
• 7:53
  So three years after the camp, you're teaching, you're traveling, teaching.
• 7:56
  And then I just started really traveling.
• 7:59
  Okay.
• 8:00
  And you come to Jamaica just to visit, just to sing, dance, all for yourself.
• 8:03
  To go to Uptown Monday.
• 8:05
  Okay.
• 8:07
  Yes.
• 8:08
  To boom Sundays.
• 8:09
  Right.
• 8:10
  To Hellshar.
• 8:11
  Back in the days, they had this great, great party, Sundays.
• 8:14
  Okay.
• 8:15
  At Hellshar.
• 8:16
  Right.
• 8:17
  You just dance in.
• 8:18
  The sun is going down and you're doing this.
• 8:21
  And who do you come with?
• 8:23
  It was group of the girls.
• 8:24
  Okay.
• 8:25
  Because that time I didn't really speak English.
• 8:27
  Okay.
• 8:28
  And one girl, she was from Ukraine.
• 8:31
  Right.
• 8:32
  And she was friend of mine.
• 8:34
  So close.
• 8:35
  But you knew her.
• 8:36
  Yeah.
• 8:37
  I knew her.
• 8:38
  And she was going to Jamaica for the first time.
• 8:40
  Right.
• 8:41
  And it was one girl from France or two girls from France and one more girl from, I think,
• 8:45
  Netherlands.
• 8:46
  I don't really remember.
• 8:47
  And this girl from Ukraine.
• 8:49
  And I saw her at some event in Russia and someone told me, this girl is going to Jamaica
• 8:54
  and I come to here and I was, please take me, like, because in 2016, again, everything
• 9:00
  happened.
• 9:01
  And then you about Jamaica is so dangerous to come here.
• 9:03
  Oh, okay.
• 9:04
  I thought I'm going to come here and someone going to shoot me.
• 9:07
  I'm talking like that.
• 9:08
  But you still wanted to come?
• 9:10
  Of course.
• 9:11
  Even though you thought it was a war zone.
• 9:12
  Of course.
• 9:13
  Because I wanted to see the dance hall.
• 9:15
  I wanted to see this legendary party.
• 9:18
  I didn't want to see any of that all-inclusive hotel.
• 9:21
  Oh, sure.
• 9:22
  Any of that seven mile beach horse.
• 9:24
  Nothing.
• 9:25
  I just wanted to come to the streets.
• 9:28
  Right.
• 9:30
  And yeah, this was my first trip and I had a lot of bad situation in my first trip
• 9:34
  to Jamaica.
• 9:35
  One time the dancers took us to Spanish town.
• 9:38
  Okay.
• 9:39
  You have to understand that time.
• 9:40
  I didn't know anything about Spanish town.
• 9:42
  Right.
• 9:45
  And they just put us dancers to some minibus and they say it's going to be a great party.
• 9:51
  It was some plaza in Spanish town.
• 9:53
  Right.
• 9:54
  And it was pretty boring party and we were standing outside with girls.
• 9:59
  They were speaking.
• 10:00
  I tried to understand what they were talking about.
• 10:02
  Because they remember I didn't really speak English.
• 10:04
  And there was guy with two women and he wanted to go inside.
• 10:10
  Okay.
• 10:11
  And he was speaking kind of loud.
• 10:15
  And security didn't want to let him inside.
• 10:18
  Right.
• 10:19
  Because he was drunk and he tried to explain him.
• 10:22
  Look, this is like the close party today.
• 10:26
  And this guy was so mad.
• 10:28
  But I couldn't understand anything.
• 10:29
  They were just screaming.
• 10:31
  You know this type of way.
• 10:34
  Well, it was like stairs.
• 10:37
  And I was standing right here and entrances right here.
• 10:40
  And this guy walking here and he's like one meter.
• 10:44
  Like we're sitting right now.
• 10:46
  This distance he took the gun and he just shoot two times in the sky.
• 10:51
  Okay.
• 10:52
  It was my first time I experienced that.
• 10:55
  I was like, it was some dancers, some Jamaican dancers, the woman near us.
• 11:00
  And she just grabbed us and we just ran.
• 11:02
  We're on upstairs and to the other side of the building.
• 11:06
  And she told us just be quiet, be quiet.
• 11:09
  And I was so scared.
• 11:11
  My heart was beating like that.
• 11:13
  I was like, she says, why even came here?
• 11:15
  And he said he thought of the bosom for he came.
• 11:18
  So you got what you want.
• 11:19
  But you know, you always think the worst thing might happen.
• 11:22
  Right.
• 11:23
  But you don't really expect it.
• 11:25
  Yeah, it was my first situation.
• 11:27
  And a couple of days before we go back to Russia.
• 11:32
  Okay.
• 11:33
  We were making that joke.
• 11:35
  Like, yo, I wish I could stay here.
• 11:37
  Maybe I need to lose my passport.
• 11:39
  So you wanted to stay even after those experiences.
• 11:43
  Because I was so, like, this phrase, my song, I don't know, some very short for people.
• 11:55
  But the dance hall was my every time.
• 11:58
  Okay.
• 11:59
  Because I built my life.
• 12:01
  It wasn't me, Kari, and dance hall, the part of my life.
• 12:04
  Okay.
• 12:05
  It was dance hall.
• 12:06
  And I'm somewhere here.
• 12:09
  Sure.
• 12:10
  So nothing was more important than this.
• 12:13
  Why?
• 12:14
  I just love it.
• 12:15
  I don't know.
• 12:16
  What do you feel about it?
• 12:17
  What do you feel about it?
• 12:18
  When I just started, oh my God, this feeling when you go to the party, when you just dance,
• 12:24
  and you feel this amazing energy, you just, it just makes you feel so alive, so happy.
• 12:33
  And it just makes me feel so good.
• 12:36
  And I love to teach.
• 12:37
  I love to connect with people.
• 12:39
  I love when I see the progress.
• 12:42
  Sure.
• 12:43
  And it was just like a drug for me.
• 12:45
  Right.
• 12:46
  Yeah.
• 12:47
  This is how I actually feel.
• 12:48
  Yeah.
• 12:49
  But when I get so deep into dance hall culture, I came to dance hall because of the people.
• 12:55
  Right.
• 12:56
  In dance hall.
• 12:57
  And I live dance hall because of the people in that.
• 13:01
  Okay.
• 13:02
  So you come, you go on that trip, you leave, and you have this longing feeling of wishing that you could stay.
• 13:08
  That's the first trip.
• 13:09
  Yeah.
• 13:10
  Take me to know your fifth time when you're actually moving.
• 13:14
  And what was the key decision that made you think, okay, now I'm going to move?
• 13:17
  Because you would have visited a couple of times, you've had mixed experiences.
• 13:21
  And then what was that thing that said, actually, I want to live in Jamaica.
• 13:25
  Okay.
• 13:26
  It was my fee for a fourth trip to Jamaica.
• 13:29
  The first time we came for the three months.
• 13:32
  Okay.
• 13:33
  In summertime, it was 2019.
• 13:35
  And that time, everything was good in Russia.
• 13:38
  Right.
• 13:39
  I had a lot of students.
• 13:41
  I travel a lot.
• 13:43
  But I was doing that for almost eight years.
• 13:46
  Okay.
• 13:47
  And I just kind of burned out.
• 13:48
  Okay.
• 13:49
  You need to teach over and over again.
• 13:51
  The same thing.
• 13:52
  Same things.
• 13:53
  You know, when you're doing something for a long time.
• 13:55
  And I was running in that circle.
• 13:57
  Okay.
• 13:58
  And the life in Moscow.
• 14:02
  I don't know.
• 14:03
  It's just, you don't have some.
• 14:05
  Right.
• 14:06
  It's always rainy.
• 14:07
  Right.
• 14:08
  People are so depressed for whatever.
• 14:09
  Right.
• 14:10
  And when you walk on the streets, no one going to tell you, hi, good morning.
• 14:14
  Right.
• 14:15
  Or wherever.
• 14:16
  And in Jamaica, you just heal.
• 14:19
  With people's heal.
• 14:20
  Okay.
• 14:21
  Even if sometimes when you go outside alone as a woman, those guys, they're bothering you like,
• 14:28
  right.
• 14:29
  But if we're not talking about this part, sure, the in Jamaica, you feel seen.
• 14:34
  It's funny that you say about them because I have a friend who lives in Canada.
• 14:38
  She's from Toronto.
• 14:39
  And she has always said, she's been coming to Jamaica for years, at least once a year.
• 14:43
  And in Toronto, she would not be deemed as your sort of classic pretty, right?
• 14:48
  Like magazine pretty.
• 14:49
  She's a black lady with dreads on the larger side.
• 14:53
  And she says one thing she loves about coming to Jamaica is,
• 14:56
  she wants to make her feel sexy.
• 14:57
  She says, I love hearing all of it because she gets this attention that in Toronto,
• 15:04
  she would never get because people don't even look at her in a feminine, attractive way.
• 15:09
  So I always find that quite funny because I feel like you don't love it or you hate it.
• 15:12
  Or maybe she grew up with it.
• 15:13
  You don't even like recognize it's a thing, but I completely understand.
• 15:16
  You know, when you come to Jamaica once in a six months or one year,
• 15:21
  of course you're enjoying it.
• 15:23
  But when you leave here, and every time you go outside, and you just say,
• 15:29
  can I just walk?
• 15:31
  This is why I like to walk with my mind because no one is bothering me.
• 15:35
  Sure.
• 15:36
  So you come and you miss that warmth, you miss people, you miss feeling seen?
• 15:44
  Yes, because in Moscow, I felt like I'm just running in that circle.
• 15:49
  And it just don't stop because from the 2008 when it was my second trip to Jamaica,
• 15:55
  I already grow some of my students and they started going with me to Jamaica.
• 16:00
  And from that moment, actually it was my circle of life with every holidays.
• 16:08
  Like when it's Christmas time, we go to Jamaica and every summer time we go to Jamaica.
• 16:13
  Well, between that, I didn't really have life.
• 16:16
  I was just teaching like crazy, try to make money.
• 16:19
  Sure.
• 16:20
  For the six months I was making money to come to Jamaica and spend everything.
• 16:24
  This is how my life looks like for like two years.
• 16:28
  Okay.
• 16:29
  And in 2019, I was sitting here in New King's town balcony.
• 16:33
  I was like, I actually can love the Jamaica.
• 16:38
  And my friend, they look at me like, I just opened my Leros dance studio in Moscow.
• 16:44
  Okay.
• 16:45
  And they look at me like, are you crazy or something?
• 16:48
  Like, what's wrong with you?
• 16:50
  I'm like, look, I'm just tired to doing the same things.
• 16:53
  Sure.
• 16:54
  I want something new.
• 16:55
  I enjoyed to teach and before COVID, my plan was different.
• 16:59
  I thought I'm going to still stay in dance hall.
• 17:01
  Okay.
• 17:02
  And I thought I'm going to spend like half of years here.
• 17:06
  Okay.
• 17:07
  And after that half of year in Russia teaching, right in around cities.
• 17:10
  This was my plan.
• 17:11
  Okay.
• 17:12
  Before COVID started and before dance hall dancers canceled me and I decided to leave dance hall.
• 17:17
  Okay.
• 17:18
  So you then, when you were still in the balcony, I mean, you decided that you could move here.
• 17:23
  It was just one foot, you know?
• 17:25
  It was, okay, it was that random.
• 17:26
  Yeah, it was that random and I was like, no, because that time I still didn't speak English.
• 17:31
  Okay.
• 17:32
  Because I always come with friends who speak better.
• 17:35
  Okay.
• 17:36
  I always was standing behind and I was like, can you translate this?
• 17:40
  Can you order me that coffee in Starbucks, what I love?
• 17:43
  Right.
• 17:44
  And because when you have people who speak better than you, you're just kind of afraid to start shooting.
• 17:52
  But you leave after that balcony thought.
• 17:55
  You go back to Russia?
• 17:56
  Yes.
• 17:57
  And then how long after that do you decide to move here?
• 17:59
  No, actually, I thought what I'm going to come in January 2020 for another three months.
• 18:04
  Right.
• 18:05
  Just to see.
• 18:06
  Okay.
• 18:07
  Because I didn't know if I really want to.
• 18:10
  Sure.
• 18:11
  And that's when COVID happens.
• 18:12
  Yes.
• 18:13
  Because in 2019, I started my worst relationship.
• 18:17
  Okay.
• 18:18
  And I couldn't understand.
• 18:20
  I want to move here because of that relationship.
• 18:23
  So he lived here.
• 18:25
  Unfortunately.
• 18:26
  Okay.
• 18:27
  So you weren't sure if it was him or if it was actually you wanted to live here?
• 18:31
  Yeah.
• 18:32
  Yeah.
• 18:33
  And I needed some time because I definitely didn't want to change all my life because of some guy.
• 18:37
  Okay.
• 18:38
  And I wanted to understand.
• 18:40
  Right.
• 18:41
  This is why I decided to go back in January 2020 and check it.
• 18:46
  So when you come in January, are you staying with him or are you staying independently?
• 18:50
  It was.
• 18:51
  It was hard situation because he was that type of guy.
• 18:56
  Unfortunately, I had this experience and right now I can laugh at this show.
• 19:00
  But that moment was far from laughing or anything.
• 19:03
  Sure.
• 19:04
  I get to that abusive relationship where this guy already had his another person.
• 19:10
  Okay.
• 19:11
  And of course, he told me that only after we spend already some time.
• 19:16
  Sure.
• 19:17
  And I fell in love.
• 19:18
  Sure.
• 19:19
  And he was like, oh, by the way.
• 19:20
  Okay.
• 19:21
  I have someone else.
• 19:24
  I was like, he was, he wasn't dancer.
• 19:27
  Okay.
• 19:28
  But he was from that crowd.
• 19:29
  Okay.
• 19:31
  And.
• 19:32
  But is he telling you because he thinks that it's going to be like one big happy family?
• 19:36
  Or is he telling, I don't understand?
• 19:38
  He told me what he is with that woman because of the papers.
• 19:42
  Okay.
• 19:44
  Wherever.
• 19:45
  Right.
• 19:46
  He was telling me some light over and over and over again.
• 19:49
  And because before that experience, I was this type of girl who always believe in people.
• 19:54
  Okay.
• 19:55
  Who always look at the people and who always try to find excuses for people.
• 19:59
  Sure.
• 20:00
  Who always say, no, no, he didn't mean that or she didn't mean that.
• 20:03
  She's not that rude or he's not that.
• 20:06
  I was this type of person.
• 20:07
  Sure.
• 20:08
  But this guy and those situations would happen after that.
• 20:10
  They just changed me.
• 20:12
  So when you're living with him?
• 20:13
  No, not really.
• 20:14
  I was staying by myself.
• 20:16
  By yourself.
• 20:17
  Yeah.
• 20:18
  So when you decided to continue staying, were you saying where you were?
• 20:22
  I'm going to say another part of it.
• 20:24
  I was changing places.
• 20:25
  It was different, different places from 2020.
• 20:28
  I don't even remember how much places, because I stayed here for two years to prove it.
• 20:33
  And I don't really remember how much I wanted to achieve it.
• 20:36
  About five places I changed.
• 20:38
  Okay.
• 20:39
  When you tell your family that you're staying in Jamaica, so COVID happened,
• 20:43
  you're not going back as advised by the Russian government.
• 20:46
  What is the response?
• 20:48
  Well, my parents, you know, from the moment I started to done,
• 20:54
  because they always wanted me to be a normal.
• 20:57
  What does normally?
• 20:59
  Like, don't make all these studies.
• 21:01
  Because I look like I just came from the prison.
• 21:03
  Okay.
• 21:04
  This is what my dad said.
• 21:05
  Right.
• 21:06
  And I finished the nursing school.
• 21:10
  Okay.
• 21:11
  Yeah.
• 21:12
  Because my parents wanted.
• 21:13
  Okay.
• 21:14
  They wanted me to be normal.
• 21:15
  Right.
• 21:16
  To work nine to five.
• 21:17
  Right.
• 21:18
  To work in medical or to work in some office or something normal.
• 21:22
  Sure.
• 21:23
  And when I finished nursing school, I told my parents, look.
• 21:28
  You want me to be happy?
• 21:29
  Mm-hmm.
• 21:30
  Or you want me, when I'm 30, to come to you and say what you do to destroy my life.
• 21:35
  Okay.
• 21:36
  And they were like, okay, do it wherever you are.
• 21:39
  Are you an only child?
• 21:40
  No.
• 21:41
  I have my brother.
• 21:42
  Is your brother normal?
• 21:43
  No.
• 21:44
  Okay.
• 21:45
  Not good for normal.
• 21:46
  He's professional poker player.
• 21:48
  Okay.
• 21:49
  He's playing online and he's...
• 21:51
  He means to teach me.
• 21:52
  I feel like I'd be good at poker.
• 21:54
  He's a good teacher.
• 21:56
  But he's teaching only, like, they have some, like, some, uh, how to say that.
• 22:03
  He's so good in teaching.
• 22:04
  Right.
• 22:05
  And he's teaching only people who already know about him.
• 22:07
  Okay.
• 22:08
  He's not teaching the beginners.
• 22:09
  Right.
• 22:10
  Like, he's so great at that.
• 22:11
  Amazing.
• 22:12
  Yeah.
• 22:13
  They got far from normal.
• 22:14
  They got two abnormal kids.
• 22:16
  And they're like, fine, I want you to be happy.
• 22:18
  Yeah.
• 22:19
  But when I come to Jamaica in 2020, and because everything was so unstable, and I tried to
• 22:27
  make money, but everything just, people didn't know how to live.
• 22:31
  No one knew it.
• 22:32
  You know, I had to, we all had to start doing new things.
• 22:36
  Right.
• 22:37
  I started teaching online and it was because life in Kingston is so expensive.
• 22:41
  Especially if you live alone, especially if you want to eat normal food, like, just vegetables.
• 22:50
  Vegetables is so expensive.
• 22:53
  Yeah.
• 22:54
  And it was hard time financially.
• 22:57
  Okay.
• 22:58
  And I don't even know if I need to go this way.
• 23:02
  But I had a lot of time situation when people tell me, you know, I know this guy who can just...
• 23:10
  Make your life easier.
• 23:11
  Yeah.
• 23:12
  Thank you.
• 23:13
  But to be honest, I was thinking about that.
• 23:17
  Okay.
• 23:18
  Because it was that hard.
• 23:19
  Sure.
• 23:20
  But I was like, no, I can't do that because I'm not this type of person.
• 23:24
  Sure.
• 23:25
  I have nothing but with people who are doing that decisions.
• 23:27
  But it wouldn't survive with you.
• 23:29
  Yeah, but it wasn't for me that time.
• 23:31
  When you realized that the relationship, it sounds like, was a part of the reason why you moved here.
• 23:36
  When you realized that that wasn't going to work anymore.
• 23:38
  Did you think I should just go back home?
• 23:40
  Not really.
• 23:41
  Because of dance also.
• 23:43
  No.
• 23:44
  Dance hall already kind of go down for me.
• 23:47
  Explain this to me.
• 23:48
  You keep saying that down, down, down.
• 23:50
  That you got exiled.
• 23:51
  I don't want to sign.
• 23:52
  Okay.
• 23:53
  I was a fan of dance hall.
• 23:54
  Okay.
• 23:55
  The biggest fan of dance hall.
• 23:56
  I brought some of Jamaican dancers to teach in more school.
• 24:00
  Okay.
• 24:02
  I did a lot of things.
• 24:05
  And I was always when I teach when my workshops, I always say, guys, you have to go to Jamaica.
• 24:12
  You have to study from Jamaica.
• 24:14
  I was always saying them, guys, you like how I teach, but I'm not a Jamaican dancer.
• 24:19
  Okay.
• 24:20
  Jamaican dancers are the best.
• 24:21
  I was this type of person who's always promoting Jamaican and Jamaican dancers.
• 24:26
  Sure.
• 24:28
  In dance hall, in a lot of drama.
• 24:31
  Okay.
• 24:32
  It's drama after drama.
• 24:34
  You just can't leave normal there.
• 24:36
  What do you mean?
• 24:37
  Like, you're trying to do everything for them.
• 24:40
  Right.
• 24:41
  You're trying to promote them.
• 24:42
  You're trying to pay them more money.
• 24:44
  You're trying to help them to make this video.
• 24:46
  That video.
• 24:47
  You're trying to help them to promote their change.
• 24:49
  Sure.
• 24:50
  And after that, they come to you.
• 24:52
  Just something happened like that in their mind.
• 24:54
  And they come to you and they say, now we want all foreigners who dance dance hall to pay us money if they dance our moves.
• 25:01
  You're like, but didn't I pay you when I work six months to make money to come to Jamaica?
• 25:08
  After that, they start saying, we don't like this foreigner's teaching dance hall.
• 25:12
  I was like, guys, do you know how much people I brought to dance hall?
• 25:17
  Because none of you is sitting in Moscow and trying to educate these people.
• 25:21
  What is that dance hall?
• 25:23
  What is that Jamaica?
• 25:24
  Sure.
• 25:25
  And sometimes they just don't see these lines where the foreigners are really doing a lot for dance hall.
• 25:31
  Do you think that was a shift?
• 25:34
  Or was it always like that?
• 25:35
  Do you think it changed?
• 25:37
  I think it really was always like that.
• 25:39
  Okay.
• 25:40
  But I didn't see it before because I wasn't at this.
• 25:42
  You were so excited.
• 25:43
  I was not honeymoon.
• 25:44
  And after that, real life started.
• 25:47
  Okay.
• 25:48
  Well, when I got from that relationship and same time while I was in that relationship,
• 25:53
  I started hearing a lot of stories, same stories from the same foreigner who come to Jamaica.
• 26:00
  And they were saying me some crazy stories like, I was dating this dancer and he had five more girls.
• 26:08
  And she like got pregnant and he told her to do a portion or something like that.
• 26:15
  And it was a lot of stories like that.
• 26:17
  And you know, one day I was sitting.
• 26:19
  It's when my pink glasses already was here.
• 26:22
  Yeah.
• 26:23
  You could see over there.
• 26:24
  Yeah, I could see a little bit.
• 26:25
  But sometimes they go up again.
• 26:27
  But sometimes they go down.
• 26:29
  And I was sitting and because of my experience and because of experience of many women.
• 26:34
  Okay.
• 26:35
  I couldn't understand one thing.
• 26:37
  It was before I come to Jamaica for the first time.
• 26:40
  Sure.
• 26:41
  It was a lot of foreigner women in dance hall who is here like 10 years.
• 26:47
  Okay.
• 26:48
  But they never speak about those things.
• 26:50
  As in they're dancing.
• 26:51
  Yeah, they're dancing.
• 26:52
  Okay.
• 26:53
  And they're coming to Jamaica for 10 years over and over again every like six months or three months.
• 27:00
  For some reasons, I was surprised.
• 27:03
  Why?
• 27:04
  None of the women.
• 27:05
  A saying anything.
• 27:06
  Speak about you have to be careful when you come to Jamaica, especially when you come
• 27:12
  to dance halls to say it.
• 27:14
  Okay.
• 27:15
  No one is talking about that.
• 27:16
  Right.
• 27:17
  And I was that brave one.
• 27:18
  Right.
• 27:19
  Because for me is I think if that woman was speaking.
• 27:25
  Then you would have known?
• 27:27
  I would know.
• 27:28
  Maybe I would go to the same experience I had.
• 27:32
  Okay.
• 27:33
  But maybe I would be more careful with those things.
• 27:39
  And that time I couldn't understand this woman is in dance hall going to Jamaica for more
• 27:45
  than 10 years.
• 27:46
  Why not?
• 27:47
  All of them just pretend like it's nothing happening.
• 27:50
  And what I mean it's nothing happening like when you come to Jamaica as a dancer.
• 27:55
  Right.
• 27:56
  And in your country you are no one.
• 27:58
  Right.
• 27:59
  You are great dancers still.
• 28:01
  You know, we always look at Instagram or YouTube to these dancers.
• 28:05
  And these dance hall dancers, Jamaica and dance hall dancers, they are like superstars.
• 28:09
  Okay.
• 28:10
  Like Wipes Cartel for Jamaica.
• 28:11
  Right.
• 28:12
  And we look at them like, oh my god he is such an amazing or she is such a amazing, this
• 28:18
  is how we look at these people.
• 28:20
  Right.
• 28:21
  And when we imagine now, I'm the regular girl from Russia.
• 28:24
  Right.
• 28:26
  And all those people who I look like stars, all these guys giving me attention.
• 28:32
  Right.
• 28:33
  They are saying, oh my god you are the best dancer I ever seen in my life.
• 28:39
  Right.
• 28:40
  You are like, you are amazing.
• 28:41
  And they start giving you this sweet thing.
• 28:44
  Right.
• 28:46
  They give you all those things what you want to hear.
• 28:49
  Right.
• 28:50
  And until you catch feelings or you fell in love because of your ego, you know what?
• 28:55
  You just want to feel it.
• 28:56
  Right.
• 28:57
  And you feel it and after that they catch you.
• 28:59
  Right.
• 29:00
  And that's it.
• 29:01
  Do you think that having heard someone else's negative experience?
• 29:04
  What again?
• 29:05
  If you had heard someone's negative experience that was here before you and had shared that she had had a bad experience.
• 29:12
  Do you think that that would have prevented those feelings?
• 29:15
  Because I feel like sometimes, especially when someone is telling us what we want to hear,
• 29:19
  we can say, oh that's your experience, not me.
• 29:22
  That's not my lived experience.
• 29:24
  Or do you really think that you would have been open to it and been like, okay, I'm not going to necessarily pursue what I perceive as a lot?
• 29:31
  Definitely.
• 29:32
  Even I could say like, no, no, my stories, my stories.
• 29:38
  This is what I hear a lot from girls who come to Jamaica because of dance, who they see, my story is different.
• 29:44
  You know what I do right now?
• 29:46
  I'm like, okay.
• 29:47
  Sure.
• 29:48
  But I think in general, if women, not just like one woman speak about that, but in general, if woman starts speaking about that,
• 29:57
  to not put down Jamaican dancers, but to be more kind to each other.
• 30:03
  Sure.
• 30:04
  Because I see a lot of stories like that.
• 30:09
  And some of them are really so bad.
• 30:13
  So you started sharing your personal experience.
• 30:16
  And when you say sharing, you mean just talking with other dancers?
• 30:19
  No, I actually made one post in Instagram.
• 30:22
  Okay.
• 30:23
  My Instagram that moment was in Russian language.
• 30:26
  But when I made this post, I decided to make it in both languages because I know the people going to translate it,
• 30:34
  and I didn't want them to misunderstand this too.
• 30:37
  And I just translated it.
• 30:39
  And that time, I still didn't speak English so good.
• 30:44
  And most of the time, I just put things in Russian and I just translated it.
• 30:48
  Google Translator.
• 30:50
  And you have to understand about Russian language.
• 30:52
  Russian language might sound so rude because we're so straightforward.
• 30:56
  You can't be more straightforward than Jamaicans.
• 30:59
  Trust me.
• 31:00
  Really?
• 31:01
  Like, we are so, so straightforward.
• 31:04
  Someone treated me bad.
• 31:05
  Yeah.
• 31:06
  I'm not going to smile and be like, I'm going to be like, why are you treating me this way?
• 31:10
  Okay.
• 31:11
  And people just don't like it.
• 31:14
  So you put in Russian, in Google Translate what you were saying,
• 31:18
  and then you read out what Google gave you back.
• 31:21
  I just actually made the text.
• 31:22
  Okay.
• 31:23
  No, I put the pictures and the text.
• 31:25
  You just put the text on what Google gave you.
• 31:27
  Yeah, I just translated it.
• 31:29
  I think it's that moment I already was in social media for like, maybe four years.
• 31:35
  Okay.
• 31:36
  And I knew how to write titles.
• 31:38
  Okay.
• 31:39
  What was the title?
• 31:40
  I don't really want to repeat it.
• 31:42
  Tell me the size of it.
• 31:44
  You're going to have like a lot of hateful comments and that podcast episode.
• 31:49
  I say,
• 31:52
  80 to 90% of Jamaican dancehall dancers cheat and they see nothing but in that.
• 32:01
  Okay.
• 32:02
  And that was your title that came up on top.
• 32:05
  It was a title and after that was the text that I did.
• 32:08
  Okay.
• 32:09
  And you did that because you knew that that would get engagement.
• 32:13
  Of course.
• 32:14
  Because I wanted to be here.
• 32:16
  Yes, of course.
• 32:17
  What you're saying.
• 32:18
  The goal of the post is to basically say, this is my experience.
• 32:21
  I wish someone had told me so I'm going to tell you.
• 32:23
  I didn't say that moment.
• 32:25
  I didn't say this is my experience.
• 32:27
  Okay, what do we say?
• 32:28
  I was just sharing the story like, hey guys, here's what happened in dancehall.
• 32:33
  Okay.
• 32:34
  When you as a woman come there and he's telling you this and that.
• 32:37
  Sure.
• 32:38
  And most of the time they have three to five different girls.
• 32:41
  Okay.
• 32:42
  And you just have to be careful.
• 32:43
  Okay.
• 32:45
  Like if you know this information and you're still going in that relationship is nothing but.
• 32:51
  Sure.
• 32:52
  Because this is your choice.
• 32:53
  Sure.
• 32:54
  But you just have to know what this is happening.
• 32:56
  And when this guy telling you, I love you.
• 32:58
  Right.
• 32:59
  Most of the time it can be for the money or for some having fun.
• 33:03
  Sure.
• 33:04
  And that's it.
• 33:06
  Okay.
• 33:07
  So the post gets views.
• 33:08
  How many views?
• 33:09
  I don't know how many views but it was big.
• 33:12
  Okay.
• 33:13
  Because I got cancel after that.
• 33:15
  When you say you got cancel, what does that mean?
• 33:17
  People start call me racist.
• 33:19
  Okay.
• 33:20
  They say I hate black people.
• 33:23
  They say I hate dancehall.
• 33:25
  Okay.
• 33:26
  They say I had no rights to speak about that.
• 33:29
  Okay.
• 33:30
  The Jamaican dancers who used to be my friend.
• 33:32
  Right.
• 33:33
  They say a lot of bad things about me.
• 33:36
  Sure.
• 33:37
  Jamaican dancers woman.
• 33:39
  They were saying a lot of bad things.
• 33:41
  You know, dancers in all of the world, the most popular dancers,
• 33:46
  dancehall dancers in Europe was saying a lot of things.
• 33:49
  But it wasn't just Jamaican.
• 33:50
  No, it was everywhere.
• 33:51
  Okay.
• 33:52
  My friend with whom I go to Jamaica for the first time in 2006.
• 33:55
  And she called me in.
• 33:56
  Yeah.
• 33:57
  She called me one and she said,
• 33:59
  Kar, you have to apologize.
• 34:01
  Oh.
• 34:02
  I was like, I have no problem to apologize.
• 34:06
  Sure.
• 34:07
  But what am I apologizing for?
• 34:10
  Right.
• 34:11
  And that time I didn't know anything about the classicism in Jamaica and what the people
• 34:19
  really lived in different, different words in Jamaica.
• 34:22
  It's funny because as soon as you started your story, I was like,
• 34:25
  you've lived a different Jamaica to the one that I've never known.
• 34:29
  Yeah.
• 34:30
  And a lot of Jamaican people don't know these parts of Jamaica.
• 34:33
  Yeah.
• 34:34
  Yeah.
• 34:36
  Look, that moment I was deep into dancehall.
• 34:40
  Right.
• 34:41
  And I had no uptown friends.
• 34:44
  Sure.
• 34:45
  That time I didn't know there are different sides of, I knew there were boring people who
• 34:50
  was going to work and I didn't want to like talk to them because they were so boring.
• 34:55
  Sure.
• 34:56
  I come to dance.
• 34:57
  Sure.
• 34:58
  So you followed dancehall and basically wherever you kind of made your community was where the music was.
• 35:03
  Yes.
• 35:04
  And now after this post, your community is starting to fuck off.
• 35:08
  Yeah.
• 35:09
  They literally told me what they started saying some lying thing like, like they knew I'm
• 35:16
  fell in love with Jamaica, they knew how much I love dancehall.
• 35:20
  Sure.
• 35:21
  They knew how much efforts I put in that and they knew I'm far from racing.
• 35:27
  Sure.
• 35:28
  But I choose to be in Jamaica than to stay in Russia.
• 35:32
  Sure.
• 35:33
  Because I feel more comfortable with Jamaican people than with Russian people.
• 35:38
  I feel like I have more things to talk about and divide what Jamaican people give you this great
• 35:44
  vibe.
• 35:45
  It's not like it's far away from what Russian people give you with this.
• 35:53
  And they knew I'm not racing.
• 35:55
  Sure.
• 35:56
  But someone said in comments, you're racist.
• 35:58
  And then everyone comes down to me.
• 36:00
  And they told me like, you can't speak about this topic because go and educate yourself and you
• 36:09
  what I'm trying to explain.
• 36:10
  When I was in dancehall and I said this word because I was in dancehall, people started
• 36:20
  to say, you're wrong.
• 36:23
  This is not how things work in here.
• 36:26
  You just speak about your own experience.
• 36:29
  Don't speak about this topic in general.
• 36:31
  Do this and do that.
• 36:33
  And you know when I started partying more with up to people and I was so nervous.
• 36:38
  I was crying for three months after that because imagine dancehall was my everything.
• 36:43
  You were making money dancing at this point?
• 36:46
  Yeah.
• 36:47
  So you're doing your online classes.
• 36:49
  Are you doing stuff in person in Jamaica at this point?
• 36:51
  No.
• 36:52
  Because when you are the foreigner, if you come to Jamaica, you are not allowed to teach dancehall.
• 36:59
  So you're just allowed to party and absorb the culture.
• 37:03
  But you can't teach it.
• 37:04
  You can't teach it.
• 37:05
  With some women, some girls, they tried to teach here.
• 37:07
  Dancehall and they got canceled.
• 37:09
  So hard.
• 37:10
  So you knew.
• 37:11
  Yeah.
• 37:12
  And so then your community basically tells you that you're no longer welcome.
• 37:17
  And what's next?
• 37:19
  And not even that.
• 37:20
  The people who I didn't know, they start sending messages and Instagram and they're like,
• 37:25
  we're going to find you and do something with you.
• 37:28
  Like just shut up.
• 37:29
  So at this point, are you thinking I need to go home?
• 37:31
  No.
• 37:32
  Really?
• 37:33
  And that crazy.
• 37:36
  We've come for dancehall.
• 37:38
  Well, first we come.
• 37:39
  We're not sure if it's love.
• 37:40
  We're not sure if it's Jamaica.
• 37:41
  We're not sure if it's dancehall.
• 37:42
  We stay.
• 37:43
  The love thing doesn't work out so we move on.
• 37:45
  Then we're still here for the Jamaican culture and dancehall.
• 37:48
  And then dancehall tells you, actually, no, you're not allowed.
• 37:51
  And I'm like, so now it's time to go home, no?
• 37:54
  No.
• 37:55
  Because I don't know how to explain it.
• 37:57
  But I just have this inner voice inside of me.
• 38:00
  Okay.
• 38:01
  We'll always guide me.
• 38:02
  Okay.
• 38:03
  And that moment, my inner voice told me, just stay here and try to find.
• 38:08
  Because you love Jamaica.
• 38:09
  Okay.
• 38:10
  You love Jamaican people.
• 38:11
  Yep.
• 38:12
  Yes, you had butt experience.
• 38:13
  Sure.
• 38:14
  And right now, you were like this street dog, you know?
• 38:16
  Yeah.
• 38:17
  Who was beaten and you just like walking like that.
• 38:19
  You look, I look at the people and I, first thing I'm thinking is like, what do you want from me?
• 38:23
  Sure.
• 38:24
  This is how dancehall thing made me.
• 38:27
  Sure.
• 38:28
  Yeah.
• 38:29
  But I still love Jamaica.
• 38:31
  Because when I go, when I live in New Kingston, when I go to Starbucks, for example, I had
• 38:37
  people who are new like this kind of security guys who is always like, hey, good morning.
• 38:43
  How you feel today?
• 38:44
  And it just made me feel so alive.
• 38:46
  And I was like, let me just try to figure it out.
• 38:50
  Okay.
• 38:51
  But that moment, I already understood what probably I'm not going to stay in dancehall.
• 38:55
  Okay.
• 38:56
  And I got into deep, deep depression that moment.
• 38:59
  Okay.
• 39:00
  Yeah.
• 39:01
  Because it was so, I just didn't know where to.
• 39:04
  And all your friends are from, at this point where you're getting into this depression, all of your friends are still from the dancehall community.
• 39:11
  Yep.
• 39:12
  So it's just new one.
• 39:14
  And you're still like, I'm listening to the voice and I'm going to stay.
• 39:18
  Yeah.
• 39:19
  And how do you then navigate your next kind of move?
• 39:23
  It was some, I would say it was some random things.
• 39:27
  Okay.
• 39:28
  But it wasn't.
• 39:29
  Because during my COVID life in Jamaica, I already met some new people from uptown.
• 39:38
  Somehow, like, one...
• 39:39
  You keep saying uptown and so funny because I know exactly what you're talking about and then I forget that some people don't necessarily know what uptown means.
• 39:45
  When you say uptown, for example, in New York, it means that physically uptown, right?
• 39:49
  And when we say uptown in Jamaica, it refers to a certain class.
• 39:53
  And so I think that's really interesting that when you first arrived, you only knew it refers to the same more of an inner city culture.
• 40:00
  Yeah.
• 40:01
  And then how do you get your first kind of introduction to opera society, if you like, in Jamaica?
• 40:08
  Okay.
• 40:10
  In 2020...
• 40:13
  In 2020.
• 40:15
  Yeah.
• 40:16
  I met another Russian who stuck here.
• 40:18
  Okay.
• 40:19
  She lived in France.
• 40:20
  She's my best friend, right?
• 40:21
  And we tried to survive together.
• 40:23
  Sure.
• 40:24
  In summer time, 2020, I was posting some stuff on Instagram about my life in Jamaica.
• 40:30
  I was posting, like, I'm crying here because, you know, when you just moved in your country, you feel lonely and it's just different here.
• 40:39
  You can go to your parents.
• 40:40
  Sure.
• 40:41
  You can't just sit there and get a hug.
• 40:44
  Right.
• 40:45
  And it's just hard to move to another country.
• 40:48
  And this one Russian girl will live here for more than 10 years.
• 40:52
  Okay.
• 40:53
  She found my Instagram somehow.
• 40:55
  And she texted me something like, oh really?
• 40:58
  My Jamaica is not like that.
• 41:00
  My Jamaica is so nice.
• 41:02
  People treat me nice and my Jamaica.
• 41:04
  And she just asked me, I want to meet with her.
• 41:07
  Sure.
• 41:08
  And I was like, yes, I want this Jamaica.
• 41:10
  Yes, I was like, of course.
• 41:12
  Of course.
• 41:13
  And we met with...
• 41:14
  It was just some random thing.
• 41:16
  We met with her.
• 41:17
  And this Russian girl, Russian woman, she literally started to introduce me to that circle of people.
• 41:24
  And me and that another Russian girl, who is my best friend right now, we needed some place to stay.
• 41:31
  Okay.
• 41:32
  Because the place I was renting out, the people told me and the owners told me, they're going to rent it out at Airbnb.
• 41:38
  Okay.
• 41:39
  And I have to move.
• 41:40
  Sure.
• 41:41
  And this girl knew another Russian girl, or he was Ukrainian.
• 41:45
  And you are there.
• 41:46
  It's a lot of us here.
• 41:47
  A lot of us.
• 41:48
  He knew that guy.
• 41:49
  She knew that guy.
• 41:50
  And she knew he had like a apartment in the second free room.
• 41:54
  Okay.
• 41:55
  And she just connected us with this guy.
• 41:57
  And with this guy, we started going somewhere and with this girl.
• 42:01
  And it just was step by step.
• 42:03
  Sure.
• 42:04
  It wasn't something I was sitting and planning like how I'm going to get to this uptown circle.
• 42:10
  So someone who doesn't know the different Jamaica's.
• 42:14
  How would you describe uptown Jamaica versus in a city Jamaica?
• 42:19
  Oh, this is a good question.
• 42:23
  It's completely different.
• 42:27
  Right now I feel like I live in different Jamaica, but how to describe it.
• 42:34
  Uptown Jamaica, how they're all thing.
• 42:38
  But I would say there are not much dramas like that.
• 42:44
  Okay.
• 42:45
  There are still some dramas sometimes.
• 42:47
  Sure.
• 42:48
  About different things.
• 42:49
  Sure.
• 42:50
  But when you say drama, you just mean people arguing?
• 42:52
  Not arguing.
• 42:53
  You know something happening and they just talking about something.
• 42:57
  Sure.
• 42:58
  Like the regular thing in society.
• 43:00
  Yep.
• 43:01
  How would they say?
• 43:04
  Start with how it looks.
• 43:05
  How does uptown Jamaica look versus in a city Jamaica?
• 43:08
  First uptown.
• 43:09
  I'm going to be straightforward.
• 43:11
  First uptown Jamaica have money.
• 43:13
  Okay.
• 43:14
  When you leave in Jamaica and you have money, your life is okay.
• 43:18
  Okay.
• 43:19
  You are not really going to street parties.
• 43:21
  You are going to some parties where you're going to live.
• 43:25
  Where you're going to live.
• 43:26
  Or live key on your own boat.
• 43:28
  Yes.
• 43:29
  Yes.
• 43:30
  Partying there all day on your own boat.
• 43:33
  Of course.
• 43:34
  Or you're going to this expensive parties.
• 43:38
  Like you're going to Carnival.
• 43:40
  You're going to that Carnival party.
• 43:43
  Any parties like will cost $10,000 for the ticket.
• 43:46
  Sure.
• 43:47
  Or $200,000 for cabanas.
• 43:50
  Sure.
• 43:51
  This is uptown Jamaica.
• 43:52
  Sure.
• 43:53
  And oh, I know.
• 43:54
  The main thing, the main difference between my life in dancehall
• 43:58
  and my life in uptown, if we're talking about how people treat it.
• 44:02
  Sure.
• 44:03
  In dancehall, the guys always force me to buy something for them.
• 44:09
  Okay.
• 44:10
  Like to buy drinks.
• 44:11
  Okay.
• 44:12
  To buy food.
• 44:13
  Right.
• 44:14
  Hey, are you going to go and buy me some magnum or some beer or some wrong.
• 44:20
  And you just feel like you're just back with money when you're in dancehall.
• 44:24
  Right.
• 44:25
  As soon as I step in uptown, I just needed to have my cup.
• 44:31
  And it never was empty.
• 44:33
  Right.
• 44:34
  I can't say it was a good thing.
• 44:36
  It was fun time.
• 44:38
  But no one is asking you to pay for anything.
• 44:42
  Sure.
• 44:43
  Like you just...
• 44:45
  And I'm not saying I know people are going to watch and be like,
• 44:48
  if you're in uptown and someone is giving you some free drinks or they're inviting you to the boat,
• 44:53
  you have to do something with someone, right?
• 44:55
  But for me, it wasn't like that.
• 44:57
  No.
• 44:58
  If you a vibe girl, you're just dancing, you're bringing a good vibe, you're just a great person.
• 45:05
  They just want you to be around, sure.
• 45:07
  And they take care, they will take care of me, like taking me to the party.
• 45:13
  This is how my second year in COVID in Jamaica was.
• 45:18
  It was really nice with party a lot, when it was curfew.
• 45:24
  With party a lot, like pool party, lime key, other parties, it was so nice.
• 45:31
  And did you feel when you had found this different version of Jamaica that your friend introduced you to
• 45:37
  that you were still in the right place?
• 45:39
  Or did you have this longing for the thing that originally brought you here?
• 45:43
  Because it seems like they're very different worlds.
• 45:47
  Can you repeat that quick?
• 45:48
  So when your friend introduced you to Opton Jamaica and you're having a very different experience
• 45:53
  than what you originally came here for.
• 45:55
  Did you miss the old version?
• 45:57
  Of course.
• 45:58
  Even now.
• 45:59
  Even now after I left dance hall for more than four or five years.
• 46:05
  Sometimes, because it's a lot of Russian people coming to Jamaica, dancers.
• 46:11
  I like to go to Instagram and watch their stories, how they're feeling about buying this first-time jerk chicken
• 46:19
  or a jinking coconut or going to Opton Monday's first time.
• 46:24
  And they're sure and they're experienced.
• 46:27
  I have this feeling like I miss it so much.
• 46:30
  I even tell my mom a lot of times, I feel I was more a happy person before.
• 46:36
  Oh, really?
• 46:37
  Yeah.
• 46:38
  But I think it's because of depression.
• 46:40
  Okay.
• 46:41
  Yeah.
• 46:42
  But I really feel like right now I'm doing my social media and I love it.
• 46:48
  I'm doing content.
• 46:50
  But that moment when I go to Opton Monday's and dance with my people, with the dancers,
• 46:59
  you know, there is something magical about it.
• 47:02
  And you just can, like, when you're dancing together and some instruction songs.
• 47:09
  And you are in that circle.
• 47:11
  You rock, you are now.
• 47:13
  Or stir fry.
• 47:14
  Stir fry.
• 47:15
  And you just know the next move.
• 47:16
  Right.
• 47:17
  And you just like start doing it with people.
• 47:21
  And this feeling is something amazing.
• 47:24
  Sure.
• 47:25
  And of course I miss it.
• 47:26
  But I wouldn't go back there.
• 47:28
  Okay.
• 47:29
  And even if someone comes with a bag of money and tells me to go back to dance with them.
• 47:33
  You would know.
• 47:34
  Okay.
• 47:35
  So you're known in a different class of Jamaica and how we make money.
• 47:39
  I know you said you're doing social media.
• 47:41
  Is that how you do it?
• 47:43
  Oh, no.
• 47:44
  It's my mind paying for everything.
• 47:45
  Oh, just fine.
• 47:46
  I need one of those.
• 47:48
  And then tell me how it was dating.
• 47:51
  How was it finding Lovin Drake?
• 47:54
  Especially after a first experience.
• 47:56
  Oh my God.
• 47:57
  It sounds like it was often.
• 47:59
  Well, right now, this year, my mind really paying for everything.
• 48:04
  Sure.
• 48:05
  I would leave in his place.
• 48:06
  Okay.
• 48:07
  He drove around and bought food and everything.
• 48:10
  And he just let me build my platform.
• 48:14
  How did you guys meet?
• 48:15
  We met at Carnival.
• 48:17
  Okay.
• 48:18
  First of all, I wasn't that uptown community and I had one friend.
• 48:22
  Okay.
• 48:23
  I always walk around and I always tell him, I'm not going to call his name.
• 48:26
  I was always telling him, hey, let's say his name is Kevin.
• 48:31
  Right.
• 48:32
  I was like, Kevin, can you find some guy from me who is not from dance hall?
• 48:37
  Sure.
• 48:38
  Who is not partying with our stuff and who just want to build something serious?
• 48:42
  Okay.
• 48:43
  And I don't want him to have, I don't want him to be white.
• 48:48
  Okay.
• 48:49
  This is what I found to him.
• 48:51
  He's like, you need to go to another country.
• 48:56
  Like, it's not, but you want to like serious guy who is not partying but is not going anywhere.
• 49:02
  And you want to build something serious with him because I always wanted,
• 49:06
  even when I got to that abusive relationship, I always wanted to be in,
• 49:12
  I always wanted to build a good relationship, have kids, have family.
• 49:18
  And I was walking like that for like two years or three years.
• 49:23
  And I was saying them, guys, help me to find, that Jamaica have a lot of people.
• 49:28
  Right.
• 49:29
  You know a lot of people just help me to find someone.
• 49:33
  Sure.
• 49:34
  And they try, they really try.
• 49:36
  Most of the people they find for me never work.
• 49:39
  Why?
• 49:42
  Because I don't know.
• 49:44
  Most of the people when they see, because I still was kind of dancing.
• 49:49
  Okay.
• 49:50
  And when they see a white girl who come to Jamaica because of dance halls,
• 49:58
  they just treat you some type of way.
• 50:00
  Okay.
• 50:01
  They don't think that you're serious?
• 50:03
  Yeah.
• 50:04
  I think they don't really look at you and think, oh, I can marry that girl.
• 50:08
  Okay.
• 50:09
  They're like, yes.
• 50:10
  I can have fun with her.
• 50:11
  I can have fun with her.
• 50:12
  But they're not looking at you as wife or material.
• 50:14
  Yeah.
• 50:15
  Okay.
• 50:16
  Yeah.
• 50:17
  And in 2023, at Carnaval, my friend actually called me.
• 50:23
  Or he came to our place and he was like, curry.
• 50:26
  I'm going to bring someone for you today.
• 50:28
  I was like, oh, really?
• 50:30
  And he showed me his picture.
• 50:32
  And I was like, but it was bad picture.
• 50:34
  I couldn't understand anything.
• 50:35
  I was like, whatever.
• 50:37
  So you didn't like him from the picture?
• 50:39
  Because the picture was really bad.
• 50:40
  It's because you love him now, babe.
• 50:41
  It's okay.
• 50:42
  Don't blame the picture.
• 50:43
  Don't like him from the picture.
• 50:44
  I was like, I don't really care if he is nice person.
• 50:47
  It's true.
• 50:48
  I never really was that bad girl who is like, guys, help me to find a rich guy in Jamaica.
• 50:54
  As long as he's black, you're good.
• 50:56
  Yeah.
• 50:57
  And you don't want to say that.
• 50:59
  I think it's once you go black, you don't go back.
• 51:03
  Yep.
• 51:05
  Well, I made this guy at Carnival.
• 51:08
  We were at the Kaya.
• 51:11
  The lady must agree.
• 51:12
  Yep.
• 51:13
  And we were just partying.
• 51:14
  And I saw this guy.
• 51:15
  I wasn't even sure if it is him.
• 51:17
  But he smiled with his big smile, bite, teeth.
• 51:21
  And he looked so nice.
• 51:23
  And I looked at him and I was like, hmm, it's probably him.
• 51:27
  And I come to my friend and I was like, are you going to introduce me to him?
• 51:32
  And he's like, oh, yeah, this is him and blah, blah, blah.
• 51:35
  And you know, we just started talking.
• 51:38
  And while all this Carnival was happening, we were sitting inside on the Kaya thing.
• 51:45
  And we were just sitting and talking for like two hours.
• 51:49
  But it was some red flags for me.
• 51:52
  Okay.
• 51:53
  Because I always say to myself, especially in Jamaica, because I know a lot of guys have kids already.
• 52:00
  Okay.
• 52:01
  And I was always saying to myself, I will never start dating.
• 52:06
  Especially like serious relationship with guy who already have kids.
• 52:09
  I used to say that too.
• 52:10
  No, I believe in it.
• 52:12
  I also think my view is different now because I have children.
• 52:15
  But if I didn't have children, I would think the same thing.
• 52:18
  Because I think when you all, if he's the type of dad that you want him to be
• 52:22
  and being involved with his child, then you're always being with a model.
• 52:25
  And I just want to be with a model.
• 52:27
  This is my point was I was like, I don't want to go, I want to go to a relationship with one person,
• 52:33
  not with three or four.
• 52:35
  Because in my, in my reality, I thought if you already have a child,
• 52:39
  I have to be in that situation with his baby mother or with his child.
• 52:44
  And when he saw me, he's the picture on his phone.
• 52:49
  Sure.
• 52:50
  When we just started talking and I saw his daughter and he was like, oh, this is my daughter.
• 52:54
  And in my mind, I was like, okay, it's not him.
• 52:57
  Again, I was like, okay, we continue to search.
• 53:00
  And the funny thing when I live here at COVID time before I start asking my uptown friends
• 53:05
  try to find me someone.
• 53:07
  When people, regular people, like security or people with whom I just talk on the streets,
• 53:12
  they ask me like, why are you here?
• 53:14
  What are you doing here?
• 53:15
  And I always tell them, I'm trying to find someone with whom I can build a relationship,
• 53:20
  like serious relationship family.
• 53:22
  And always these people do.
• 53:24
  They always look at me and they laugh in my face.
• 53:26
  They were like, girl, you choose their own island.
• 53:30
  And they were laughing like, oh, oh, oh, oh, like that.
• 53:32
  But is that, again, going back to the different Jamaica, right?
• 53:35
  Because I will vote for Jamaica and man any day of the book.
• 53:38
  But I haven't been to uptown on this.
• 53:41
  Do you think that that experience is again based on the different environments?
• 53:47
  Or do you think that even in uptown Jamaica, it was very hard to find?
• 53:51
  Oh, it was very hard.
• 53:53
  Okay.
• 53:54
  I would say if this guy from uptown, and he's that uptown who have money,
• 54:00
  who drive an amazing car, who have this place and that place and Vila and here,
• 54:05
  they're so spoiled.
• 54:06
  Okay.
• 54:07
  They're so spoiled.
• 54:08
  Okay.
• 54:09
  It's so hard to find.
• 54:10
  Because first, they don't really want to date.
• 54:12
  Right.
• 54:13
  They just want to have fun.
• 54:14
  Okay.
• 54:15
  And they know they can.
• 54:16
  Yeah.
• 54:17
  Right.
• 54:18
  Not most of them want to build something.
• 54:20
  Okay.
• 54:21
  They just.
• 54:24
  And when did you know with your boyfriend that you could have a serious relationship,
• 54:29
  even though he had the red flag?
• 54:31
  Oh, I think I didn't really have choice.
• 54:34
  Oh, what do you mean?
• 54:36
  We started talking and that all day on Carnival, we spent together.
• 54:40
  Sure.
• 54:41
  After that, next day, we saw each other.
• 54:43
  Right after that, the second meeting, I come to my friend.
• 54:47
  My best friend.
• 54:48
  And I told her, you know what?
• 54:50
  I'm afraid if I'm, if I'm continuously in this guy, we definitely going to have something,
• 54:57
  but I'm not sure if I want.
• 54:59
  Okay.
• 55:00
  And I was kind of trying to not reply and be more distance, you know.
• 55:06
  And after like a week, we met again.
• 55:09
  We went to a dub club, to like, hit some food and enjoy the view.
• 55:15
  And after a couple of meetings, I was like, because in my mind, I was like, he's not the one.
• 55:23
  Okay.
• 55:24
  And I was like, I don't even want to play that game.
• 55:27
  Sure.
• 55:28
  And I was like, okay, let's just have fun.
• 55:32
  Right.
• 55:33
  And I come to his place and I never went.
• 55:36
  I stay there.
• 55:38
  Okay.
• 55:39
  And from that moment, I came to the first time, he's pleased.
• 55:42
  I never left.
• 55:43
  Okay.
• 55:44
  Never.
• 55:45
  Like more than two years passed.
• 55:48
  Right.
• 55:49
  And it was just good.
• 55:50
  He treated me nice.
• 55:52
  Okay.
• 55:53
  He was just nice person.
• 55:55
  And you know, because I was so traumatized from my previous relationship, I was just sitting
• 56:01
  and waiting when he was going to start treating me.
• 56:04
  Switching me.
• 56:05
  And I was sitting and waiting that moment when he just said, okay, just take your stuff and leave.
• 56:10
  Okay.
• 56:11
  It's never happened.
• 56:13
  And because I still was renting another place where I used to leave.
• 56:16
  Okay.
• 56:17
  And when my friend, she go back to France and she said, Kari, are you going to continue renting
• 56:23
  that place?
• 56:24
  Sure.
• 56:25
  And I was like, I come to him.
• 56:26
  We were together for a couple of months.
• 56:28
  And I come to him and I say like, look, if I'm going to rent in that place, I need at least
• 56:33
  to stay there sometimes.
• 56:34
  Sure.
• 56:35
  You know, I can't just wait for the place to have closes over there.
• 56:40
  Right.
• 56:41
  I was so nervous, but I asked him, do you want me to bring my stuff here?
• 56:44
  Sure.
• 56:45
  I didn't even want to say, do you want me to open it?
• 56:48
  I was like, do you think I should bring my stuff?
• 56:51
  Right.
• 56:52
  And he was like, yeah, of course, bring it.
• 56:54
  I was like, is there some type of joke or something?
• 56:59
  And after that, I made his parents, okay, after like two or three months.
• 57:04
  Oh my God, these people is something.
• 57:07
  I would say they're like, my second son, they're right now.
• 57:12
  They're such a nice people.
• 57:15
  They treat me.
• 57:16
  His father, every time he sees me, he literally says, oh my daughter, hello, and I'm just
• 57:21
  like, oh, have your family visited you here?
• 57:24
  Not yet.
• 57:25
  Okay.
• 57:26
  They plan into it, but not yet.
• 57:28
  And when, even before you came to Jamaica, did you ever feel like an outsider in Russia?
• 57:33
  Because, you know, the things that you like and the people that you like, doesn't seem
• 57:38
  to necessarily align with Russian culture.
• 57:41
  Of course.
• 57:42
  So did you feel like you're an outsider?
• 57:44
  Yeah.
• 57:45
  And these things, what you say, you remember, you say your friend from Canada who's coming
• 57:49
  to Jamaica and she's enjoying with you guys, giving her attention?
• 57:54
  I would say what the way I look, because, you know, this stereotype about Russian woman,
• 58:02
  is like, I just think of plastic surgery.
• 58:05
  They're like, skinny, and they have this, they leave, and look at me.
• 58:15
  You don't have these types.
• 58:18
  And sometimes, when I was in the dance hall, when I'm just walking around in Moscow, I just
• 58:25
  felt like no one really even looked at me.
• 58:27
  Okay.
• 58:28
  And I'm not their type, sure.
• 58:30
  And when you are not that type in Russia, it's really hard to find a man.
• 58:34
  Okay.
• 58:35
  I'm not saying, it's a lot of great guys in Russia, but it's just different games.
• 58:42
  And I never really wanted it.
• 58:43
  I don't know.
• 58:44
  I just never really wanted it.
• 58:45
  From the moment I started dancing hip-hop, when I started to go into that black culture,
• 58:53
  I was like, you felt home.
• 58:54
  I was like, I don't know why I'm even wet.
• 58:57
  Why I'm wet?
• 59:01
  I couldn't understand, because I think I don't want to sound any type of way, but I think
• 59:09
  black people is better and everything, like they look better, they're so stylish, the
• 59:16
  way you talk, the way you move, I'm just so fell in love with culture, with black culture.
• 59:24
  And I'm this type of person who I never tried to be, you know, someone who I can't be.
• 59:31
  But I just feel more comfortable.
• 59:34
  And do you think that when you came to Jamaica, did you have any resistance because you were
• 59:40
  Russian?
• 59:41
  Aside from dance culture, I just mean in general, in your day-to-day living, did you ever
• 59:44
  feel that you were ill treated because you're...
• 59:48
  Right now, after I can't even say those things, because as a Russian person, I'm not
• 59:54
  allowed to say those things, but after the situation happens, so, because I have hard
• 1:00:00
  situation, because I was born in Ukraine, but I was raised in Russia, I have Russian citizenship.
• 1:00:07
  My mother, she's Ukrainian, and my father, he's Russian, but I have Russian passport.
• 1:00:12
  And when that situation happened, after that, even in an uptown circle, I felt it when
• 1:00:20
  people asked me, where are you from, and I say I'm from Russia?
• 1:00:23
  I...
• 1:00:24
  It's just body language, you just can feel like...
• 1:00:26
  There was a chain in the 90s.
• 1:00:28
  Okay.
• 1:00:29
  When people here are making my content on social media, like I live in Jamaica and I'm
• 1:00:36
  from Russia, I actually use it all the time just to trigger people.
• 1:00:39
  Sure.
• 1:00:40
  Because I know if I say I'm from Russia, there are going to be some people who are going
• 1:00:43
  to say, oh, another spy come here, or go back to your country, and I just use it as
• 1:00:49
  a trigger.
• 1:00:50
  Because you know how social media works.
• 1:00:53
  But I remember one day we had a fight with this uptown woman, not really fight, but she
• 1:00:59
  was trying to tell us what we literally have to go back to Russia and tell our president
• 1:01:05
  to stop this.
• 1:01:06
  I look at her and I'm like, why are you not going to your prime minister and asking him
• 1:01:11
  to change bad things in Jamaica?
• 1:01:13
  Sure.
• 1:01:14
  Maybe because he's not going to listen to you.
• 1:01:16
  You think put...
• 1:01:17
  Sorry.
• 1:01:18
  So, yeah.
• 1:01:19
  You think, I want my president going to listen to me, this is so stupid and I'm just trying
• 1:01:25
  not to go into politics, showing it, but most of the time right now I found a way.
• 1:01:30
  Then people ask me where I'm from, I'm telling them I'm from Russia, but I was born in
• 1:01:35
  Ukraine.
• 1:01:36
  Okay.
• 1:01:37
  This is make them feel...
• 1:01:38
  The energy is different.
• 1:01:39
  Yeah.
• 1:01:40
  Okay.
• 1:01:41
  And then I guess in my mind, what were your major culture shocks?
• 1:01:44
  You mentioned food prices, was there anything else when you arrived here that you just weren't
• 1:01:51
  ready for?
• 1:01:52
  Okay.
• 1:01:53
  You ready?
• 1:01:54
  The food prices, especially vegetables.
• 1:02:00
  Yeah.
• 1:02:02
  Electricity.
• 1:02:03
  The cost of it?
• 1:02:05
  Cost of electricity.
• 1:02:06
  Okay.
• 1:02:07
  You know what I can get?
• 1:02:08
  Jamaica have sunlight, 24 or 7.
• 1:02:13
  Why electricity is so expensive?
• 1:02:16
  Like, I understand the company in Jamaica trying to make money.
• 1:02:21
  Sure.
• 1:02:22
  But if they have so much money, they could go to solar, right?
• 1:02:27
  Because for you as a person who live in Jamaica and you, for you to put the solar system
• 1:02:33
  to have enough electricity, you need to spend like a couple of millions.
• 1:02:36
  Yeah.
• 1:02:37
  And you have to have this money.
• 1:02:38
  You can't just take it from nowhere, you know?
• 1:02:41
  And you can go solar because of this thing, because of financial thing.
• 1:02:44
  Well, this is electricity prices.
• 1:02:47
  Because even when I live in New Kingston in my little studio apartment, I had no AC,
• 1:02:52
  I had no washing machine, I had nothing, just electric stove, and water heater.
• 1:02:58
  And I paid 10,000 US, 10,000 Jamaican for electricity, having nothing.
• 1:03:05
  I was like, this is crazy.
• 1:03:08
  Well, another thing is prices for any goods.
• 1:03:11
  Okay.
• 1:03:12
  Like, you want to buy something in pharmacy.
• 1:03:15
  Right.
• 1:03:16
  Some vitamins.
• 1:03:18
  You go to Amazon and you see the prices double, how to say, the double cheaper.
• 1:03:25
  It's half price.
• 1:03:26
  Half price.
• 1:03:27
  Yes.
• 1:03:28
  It's half price.
• 1:03:29
  You go to Jamaican store, wherever it's a double price.
• 1:03:33
  Before you came, did you think things were going to be cheaper than Russia?
• 1:03:36
  Of course.
• 1:03:37
  Because this is what I was thinking, because you know, Jamaica is development country.
• 1:03:42
  And you think what I come from, the first world country.
• 1:03:46
  And I have to allow to live normal, to live better, like in Thailand.
• 1:03:53
  Yeah.
• 1:03:54
  Like, when you can...
• 1:03:55
  I just come back from Thailand, don't do it.
• 1:03:57
  Oh my gosh.
• 1:03:58
  When you can eat fruits and smoothie every day, because they just cost like $1.
• 1:04:03
  Yeah.
• 1:04:04
  I don't know how much they cost right now.
• 1:04:05
  Less $1.
• 1:04:06
  Okay.
• 1:04:07
  I can go to my sash every day, here in Jamaica.
• 1:04:10
  I was getting my bad knees massage for like eight pounds an hour.
• 1:04:14
  I was getting them every day, because I just, oh my god, this is amazing.
• 1:04:18
  And then I read that it's not good to have a massage every day, so I did it every other
• 1:04:22
  day.
• 1:04:23
  I'm so sad.
• 1:04:25
  But here, my goals, so, you know, so normal, I wouldn't say normal, like so regular.
• 1:04:35
  I just want to be allowed to do the massage.
• 1:04:38
  Sure.
• 1:04:39
  Once a week.
• 1:04:40
  But in Jamaica, because of the cost of living, to go to massage place in Jamaica, here
• 1:04:48
  in Kingston, the minimum price is going to be like 10 to 12 pounds, like almost 100
• 1:04:54
  years.
• 1:04:55
  Sure.
• 1:04:56
  Yeah.
• 1:04:57
  And the price is for everything.
• 1:04:59
  For example, I'm dreaming to get to reach and buy a Porsche.
• 1:05:03
  And you know, if you buy Porsche in Jamaica, you pay double price.
• 1:05:07
  You pay double price for everything, sure.
• 1:05:10
  And the minimum wage is still just 60,000 in Jamaica, which is about 400 US dollars, sure.
• 1:05:20
  And if you don't make enough money to live in Jamaica, you just survive.
• 1:05:28
  This is still shocking me.
• 1:05:31
  The thing is shocking me, every time people see me, when I go outside, trying to buy
• 1:05:35
  something, like if you're a Jamaican, you never had this experience, right?
• 1:05:41
  You just go into that guy who is sailing coconut, sure.
• 1:05:44
  And you know, he will never try to scam you, sure.
• 1:05:49
  Because this is how you live, this is your country.
• 1:05:51
  When I go, when I go, people always try to put double price.
• 1:05:57
  It's funny, I have this conversation often, because I call it tourist tax.
• 1:06:03
  And I don't have an issue with tourist tax, because I feel that, for example, when I go
• 1:06:07
  to Thailand, I bought a dress in a market and she charged me 11 pounds.
• 1:06:11
  I know that that dress was not 11 pounds, but I know she's put on money because I'm
• 1:06:15
  coming with my pounds or whatever foreign currency and I know that she's making more.
• 1:06:21
  And it didn't bother me.
• 1:06:22
  I guess from the perspective of I like the dress, I know that to me, the dress is worth
• 1:06:26
  more than that.
• 1:06:27
  But then you take like Vietnam, I was looking to buy a hat, and this lady was literally
• 1:06:31
  charging like 12 times the price.
• 1:06:34
  So I said, you're crazy, and I'm not buying the hat.
• 1:06:37
  So I think that from, maybe I sympathize more with the vendor trying to capitalize on
• 1:06:43
  an opportunity and as the consumer, we have the option to say whether we want it or we
• 1:06:48
  don't want it.
• 1:06:49
  However, I appreciate that if that is not a holiday for you, right?
• 1:06:53
  There's a difference between it being life on a daily basis versus you being there on
• 1:06:57
  a holiday.
• 1:06:58
  Like, you say it doesn't happen.
• 1:07:00
  So I went into a taxi and the man was trying to overcharge me and I said to him, awesome.
• 1:07:04
  I've been living here for home.
• 1:07:06
  Oh, you're a Jamaican.
• 1:07:07
  Oh, don't worry.
• 1:07:08
  Don't worry.
• 1:07:09
  Don't worry.
• 1:07:10
  And I think that the same happens, you know, with a lot of expats that come here, there
• 1:07:14
  is the first impression of like the double triple price and then you let people know.
• 1:07:20
  You know, I just recently made video on YouTube about the same thing and I actually spoke
• 1:07:25
  about Thailand because I went to Thailand and I said, you know, there are some, if I come
• 1:07:30
  from USA, where I make, let's say, 6,000 US, and that extra 1,000 Jamaican, don't really
• 1:07:39
  make difference for me, but I didn't come from USA, I don't make those money, I live in
• 1:07:46
  Jamaica, I make Jamaica money, but the vendor don't know that.
• 1:07:52
  I know.
• 1:07:53
  There is a money.
• 1:07:54
  And this is another thing, what people say in me in my comments, they literally laugh at
• 1:07:59
  me when something like that happens.
• 1:08:02
  Some of them say you deserve it because of the way you look like and you speak and some
• 1:08:07
  of them say, of course, because you look like a bug of money, sure.
• 1:08:12
  But I guess my thing is, is that we know the reality, right?
• 1:08:15
  And so it's like the next time they try and charge you, you just tell them both, man.
• 1:08:20
  Yeah, but maybe one day I'm going to be better in that to feel confident about this.
• 1:08:26
  But even my, even my man, because I would say he will talk town.
• 1:08:31
  Right.
• 1:08:32
  Yeah.
• 1:08:33
  Even if he go and ask price.
• 1:08:34
  Sure.
• 1:08:35
  But if they see me next to him, it's over.
• 1:08:40
  And look, this is which type of person I want to be.
• 1:08:45
  I want to be a rich person who is driving Porsche and who came by Avacada near La Chousin
• 1:08:51
  for 1,000, this little Avacada, I want to be that person and don't care.
• 1:08:56
  And because I know I support those people, but right now I'm in position when I'm just
• 1:09:02
  surviving.
• 1:09:03
  And I understand what you're saying.
• 1:09:04
  I'm just saying I wouldn't be mad at the people because I know where they're coming from.
• 1:09:08
  I understand where you're coming from, but I also understand where they're coming from.
• 1:09:13
  Because even as you say, like uptown, for example, my mother would never go to Coronation
• 1:09:17
  Market because she would get very different.
• 1:09:20
  She had a very English accent, even more English.
• 1:09:22
  People always send me to Coronation Market, but she would never go because she knows and
• 1:09:26
  so you kind of deal with the lay of the lands is what I'm saying, I think so.
• 1:09:31
  You know, I really think I'm trying to look at the same situation on different angles
• 1:09:36
  and sometimes people say to me, you're always hating Jamaica, you're always saying some
• 1:09:41
  bad things about Jamaica.
• 1:09:43
  And this is what I want to create, what I'm saying those things.
• 1:09:46
  But I'm saying those things because I'm going through that experience because I'm myself
• 1:09:52
  that I don't have enough money right now to spend 1,000 Jamaica for one Avacada because
• 1:09:59
  I have limited money.
• 1:10:01
  Sure.
• 1:10:02
  Of course, if I had more money, it wouldn't even, I wouldn't even speak about these things
• 1:10:07
  because I would go do my massage once a week or 100 years and I would be like, give me
• 1:10:16
  this back of mangoes for 4,000.
• 1:10:19
  Right.
• 1:10:20
  But oh no, I don't think it's an anti-Jamaican thing because you still live here.
• 1:10:24
  And you've had a series of experiences that you could have many points said, actually,
• 1:10:29
  I'm going to leave.
• 1:10:31
  I think, do you consider Jamaica home now or do you consider Jamaica home for the long
• 1:10:37
  term?
• 1:10:39
  Because I'm in a relationship right now and my mom here have a daughter.
• 1:10:45
  And we're talking with him sometimes because we're serious together and we're building
• 1:10:51
  a family and sometimes I'm asking him, what if one day I just woke up and feel like
• 1:10:57
  I don't want to live in Jamaica?
• 1:11:00
  Would you be able, would we be able to move somewhere?
• 1:11:04
  Sure.
• 1:11:05
  First of all, I don't really know what to move where.
• 1:11:08
  Okay.
• 1:11:09
  He's half a vision.
• 1:11:10
  Okay.
• 1:11:11
  He's from Barbados and his mother is even Barbados and he's telling me, yeah, we can move
• 1:11:15
  to Barbados.
• 1:11:16
  Sure.
• 1:11:17
  But he's telling me Barbados.
• 1:11:18
  No, not yet.
• 1:11:19
  Okay.
• 1:11:20
  I think it's so small.
• 1:11:21
  Yes, it's a nice place.
• 1:11:22
  It has their own challenges, but it's so small, you're going to get bored there.
• 1:11:27
  And when I ask his stepmother about, if you ever think about moving to other island and
• 1:11:33
  she say, no, trust me, Jamaica is the best place because Jamaica have everything.
• 1:11:37
  Sure.
• 1:11:38
  Well, right now I'm in that position, I think because I really was traumatized because
• 1:11:43
  of the situation I've been through with Jamaica because I'm telling my mom, if I come
• 1:11:50
  to Jamaica, if I never had this dancehall experience, and I come to Jamaica and met you.
• 1:11:59
  And you, I had same situation, if I had same situation, I live with him at his place.
• 1:12:05
  I never experienced that source.
• 1:12:09
  Of course, my view on Jamaica would be different, completely different.
• 1:12:15
  But because I was alone for a long time, my view is so different and everyone, every person
• 1:12:24
  who come to Jamaica with different experiences, it's just different.
• 1:12:28
  And my experience is just like that.
• 1:12:30
  So you think that if you want in this relationship, you wouldn't live here now.
• 1:12:34
  No, I would still be here.
• 1:12:36
  You would?
• 1:12:37
  Yeah.
• 1:12:38
  Oh, okay.
• 1:12:39
  You want to ask why?
• 1:12:40
  Yeah.
• 1:12:41
  I don't know.
• 1:12:43
  Because I understand there are good and bad things about every country.
• 1:12:49
  Okay.
• 1:12:50
  This is what I understand.
• 1:12:51
  And when I'm sharing my bad stories about Jamaica, I'm just sharing the things that
• 1:12:59
  are happening with me right now.
• 1:13:00
  I'm not trying to say, oh my God, Jamaica is so bad and blah, blah, blah, because I know
• 1:13:06
  a lot of amazing people in Jamaica.
• 1:13:09
  But same time, I know this one, five percent of people who is not treating me good, but
• 1:13:17
  it doesn't mean what all people in Jamaica is.
• 1:13:20
  But because most of the people I know, they are such a nice people.
• 1:13:24
  And I had a lot of great situations.
• 1:13:27
  But here is about social media.
• 1:13:29
  When you talk, only about good things in a country.
• 1:13:33
  If I say every time I make a video and I say, oh my God, guys, I love Jamaica so much
• 1:13:38
  Jamaica.
• 1:13:39
  People say, no one is watching you.
• 1:13:42
  Sure.
• 1:13:43
  No one is care about how much you love Jamaica.
• 1:13:47
  Sure.
• 1:13:48
  As soon as you start saying them, the challenges think, the bad things you are going through.
• 1:13:54
  This is when they start watching you and start listening to you.
• 1:13:58
  This is why I'm trying to balance my content between bad situations, what happened to me
• 1:14:05
  and good situations.
• 1:14:06
  But no one really paid attention to good stories.
• 1:14:10
  What do you think is one of the greatest misconceptions about living in Jamaica?
• 1:14:16
  But life in Jamaica is cheap, because everything in Jamaica is so expensive.
• 1:14:23
  I mean, if you come from Russia, if you come from USA, maybe it's not this way.
• 1:14:28
  But I think it's so expensive.
• 1:14:30
  It's expensive, because I never had this experience, but everything is so expensive in Jamaica.
• 1:14:36
  So expensive.
• 1:14:37
  Like, you step out of your place and you have to pay money like that.
• 1:14:41
  Sure.
• 1:14:42
  Yeah.
• 1:14:43
  Jamaica is so expensive.
• 1:14:44
  Because I feel like the hotel in Jamaica, oh my God, you have to be a millionaire to
• 1:14:50
  go to hotels.
• 1:14:51
  Like hotel in Jamaica is so expensive.
• 1:14:54
  And a lot of things.
• 1:14:55
  What was the first Jamaican thing that you ate that you found in love with?
• 1:14:59
  Oh, it's definitely ackee.
• 1:15:00
  Really?
• 1:15:01
  And it's still my favorite.
• 1:15:03
  If you were trying to describe the flavor of ackee to someone, how would you describe it?
• 1:15:07
  I always like, find it so hard.
• 1:15:11
  I would say it's like the egg.
• 1:15:14
  You know when you do this, I'd say scrambled eggs.
• 1:15:16
  Scramble eggs.
• 1:15:17
  But it's more tall.
• 1:15:18
  Okay.
• 1:15:19
  It's not that fluffy like egg.
• 1:15:22
  And that's it.
• 1:15:24
  I don't even know.
• 1:15:25
  You know, one day I tried to explain my parents how jackfruit pays.
• 1:15:30
  And I asked Chad G.P.T.
• 1:15:32
  And he says, Chad G.P.T. says, if pineapple, bananas, and manga had baby together, I'd say
• 1:15:39
  jackfruit.
• 1:15:40
  But I told my parents, I'm not sure because I love jackfruit.
• 1:15:43
  I love sour soup.
• 1:15:45
  I can't explain it to my parents because they just have to try it.
• 1:15:49
  And yeah, ackee is my favorite and breadfruit, oh my God, breadfruit is my favorite.
• 1:15:54
  I love Jamaican food.
• 1:15:55
  Okay.
• 1:15:56
  Jamaican food is so nice.
• 1:15:58
  But they never tried curry goat.
• 1:16:00
  Really?
• 1:16:01
  Why?
• 1:16:02
  I never tried ox tail.
• 1:16:03
  What?
• 1:16:04
  That was going to be too much.
• 1:16:06
  Why didn't I try curry goat or ox tail?
• 1:16:08
  Because they don't need to red meat.
• 1:16:09
  Okay, that's fine.
• 1:16:10
  Okay, you should have started off with, I'm a vegetarian.
• 1:16:13
  I'm not a really vegetarian.
• 1:16:14
  I eat chicken soup.
• 1:16:15
  Okay.
• 1:16:16
  So I just don't eat red meat and therefore I haven't tried.
• 1:16:19
  You don't want to sneak one day just to get a little tubs and then you can go back to
• 1:16:23
  it.
• 1:16:24
  No, no, no, no.
• 1:16:25
  I don't like this feeling when this is going to sound weird.
• 1:16:28
  I don't like this feeling when this red meat going into my stomach and I can feel how heavy
• 1:16:34
  it is.
• 1:16:35
  Oh really?
• 1:16:36
  I don't like that feeling.
• 1:16:38
  It just happened randomly, like about 15 years ago I was eating my hamburger in Russia
• 1:16:44
  and I just felt so weird feeling like I just, my body just-
• 1:16:48
  My body just-
• 1:16:49
  Not to you.
• 1:16:50
  I promise.
• 1:16:51
  No, my mind is always taking something like that and I'm like, no, no, thank you.
• 1:16:58
  Okay.
• 1:16:59
  I have a few quick questions for you.
• 1:17:01
  Do you prefer a tasty patty or a juicy?
• 1:17:05
  Juicy.
• 1:17:06
  Why?
• 1:17:07
  Not because the juicy owner is my friend.
• 1:17:12
  But you-
• 1:17:13
  Hi, Dan.
• 1:17:14
  Oh god.
• 1:17:18
  You know, to be honest, because when I was in that uptown life, after a dance hall,
• 1:17:25
  and when we've been to that boat party set, we'll always see-
• 1:17:29
  Juicy.
• 1:17:30
  Okay, cool.
• 1:17:31
  You have more juice than this.
• 1:17:33
  Yeah.
• 1:17:34
  And if I want to eat patty, I'm not trying to eat a lot of them, because for me, it's
• 1:17:41
  like some dish, what I can eat once and-
• 1:17:44
  Okay.
• 1:17:46
  And just because I really eat most of the time, juicy.
• 1:17:50
  Sure.
• 1:17:51
  If I choose to-
• 1:17:52
  If I choose to go-
• 1:17:53
  And I want to eat some patty, I would go to Juicy.
• 1:17:56
  But right now, I found some amazing vegetarians places-
• 1:17:59
  Okay.
• 1:18:00
  Where they make acupuncture.
• 1:18:01
  Oh, oh my god.
• 1:18:03
  You have to-
• 1:18:04
  I'm so sorry, I don't go to Juicy right now.
• 1:18:06
  I go to that vegetarian places and buy that-
• 1:18:09
  Ah, key.
• 1:18:10
  Where is it?
• 1:18:11
  One place is right near Juicy.
• 1:18:15
  Where is Lane Plaza?
• 1:18:18
  Okay.
• 1:18:19
  Inside Lane.
• 1:18:21
  Yeah, inside Lane Plaza.
• 1:18:23
  Here is the high-low.
• 1:18:24
  Yeah.
• 1:18:25
  Here is the Juicy party.
• 1:18:26
  Here is some Indian store and the vegetarian place right here.
• 1:18:29
  And they do good.
• 1:18:30
  Oh my god.
• 1:18:31
  Their acupuncture is something.
• 1:18:33
  And one more place.
• 1:18:34
  I don't remember where exactly it's an old whole pro.
• 1:18:38
  Okay.
• 1:18:39
  Like, you can just google vegetarian restaurants.
• 1:18:41
  Okay.
• 1:18:42
  And most of the time they have patty.
• 1:18:43
  Okay.
• 1:18:44
  I'll keep patty.
• 1:18:45
  It's the one.
• 1:18:46
  Yeah.
• 1:18:47
  Do you prefer rum or red stripe?
• 1:18:50
  When I used to drink-
• 1:18:52
  Are you going to drink?
• 1:18:53
  Because I don't drink red.
• 1:18:54
  Okay.
• 1:18:55
  Because-
• 1:18:56
  All I was part to part to part to-
• 1:18:57
  And then you told me, you don't drink red.
• 1:18:58
  I was drinking like crazy.
• 1:19:00
  I was-
• 1:19:01
  Like, when I met my man, he's not drinking.
• 1:19:04
  Okay.
• 1:19:05
  He just don't like the drink.
• 1:19:06
  Okay.
• 1:19:07
  And when I met him, it was like a blessing for me.
• 1:19:10
  You're living on God a rest.
• 1:19:12
  Because he's like-
• 1:19:13
  He's not that type of person who have any alcohol at home.
• 1:19:17
  Okay.
• 1:19:18
  And I was like-
• 1:19:19
  And I just don't really drink.
• 1:19:20
  Sometimes, right now, sometimes I can drink wine.
• 1:19:22
  Okay.
• 1:19:23
  When I was part to person,
• 1:19:25
  When I was in dance hall, I drink Magnum.
• 1:19:27
  Okay.
• 1:19:28
  The sweet beer, the sorrel.
• 1:19:30
  Okay.
• 1:19:31
  Yes.
• 1:19:32
  I love this one.
• 1:19:33
  And I drink white rum or red rum.
• 1:19:36
  Or you call it brown or red?
• 1:19:37
  Brown.
• 1:19:38
  I call it red.
• 1:19:39
  Yeah.
• 1:19:40
  And I can't really choose between beer.
• 1:19:45
  If I were talking about sorrel beer?
• 1:19:47
  Okay.
• 1:19:48
  Specifically, that one would-
• 1:19:49
  Yeah.
• 1:19:50
  Or rum, I would go for sorrel.
• 1:19:53
  Oh.
• 1:19:54
  Cassava or young?
• 1:19:56
  Cassava.
• 1:19:58
  Oh, really?
• 1:19:59
  Yeah.
• 1:20:00
  Cassava.
• 1:20:01
  Mango or guinea-
• 1:20:03
  Mango, of course.
• 1:20:05
  Do you have a preference to Giuliori's syndrome?
• 1:20:08
  Uh, the one without hair.
• 1:20:10
  Giulie.
• 1:20:11
  Yes.
• 1:20:12
  We can be friends.
• 1:20:13
  Like, I can't take this-
• 1:20:15
  I know that.
• 1:20:16
  I know that.
• 1:20:17
  I know that.
• 1:20:18
  I know that.
• 1:20:19
  Yeah, my dad loves it.
• 1:20:20
  But I can't eat it because it's stuck in my teeth.
• 1:20:21
  And after that, I'm sitting and-
• 1:20:22
  I don't like it.
• 1:20:23
  If your life was a postcard,
• 1:20:25
  what would the picture look like?
• 1:20:28
  Oh.
• 1:20:29
  Like, you know?
• 1:20:32
  If you can imagine,
• 1:20:33
  if I ask Chadri Petito to make this picture,
• 1:20:35
  the half of the picture is like,
• 1:20:37
  amazing building,
• 1:20:39
  like amazing view of a pool and porch right here.
• 1:20:42
  Sure.
• 1:20:43
  And here is some surviving life.
• 1:20:45
  Right.
• 1:20:46
  And I'm somewhere on the middle.
• 1:20:48
  Okay.
• 1:20:49
  Like, half of my clothes and face looks so beautiful
• 1:20:51
  and half of my face and clothes are just tear off
• 1:20:53
  because of the life challenges.
• 1:20:55
  Right?
• 1:20:56
  This is my picture.
• 1:20:57
  That would be it.
• 1:20:59
  And for anyone who is thinking about moving to Jamaica,
• 1:21:02
  what would you say to them?
• 1:21:04
  If you feel,
• 1:21:06
  if you're in our woods,
• 1:21:08
  saying you do that,
• 1:21:10
  do that,
• 1:21:12
  it might be, probably,
• 1:21:14
  it's going to be so hard.
• 1:21:16
  Sure.
• 1:21:17
  Because to move to any country is so hard.
• 1:21:20
  But if you feel this choice,
• 1:21:24
  going to make your life better and happier,
• 1:21:28
  do that because we have one life.
• 1:21:30
  And this is my main goal in this life.
• 1:21:33
  We have one life.
• 1:21:35
  And we all going to pass one day.
• 1:21:40
  And the main goal is just to feel happy.
• 1:21:45
  I think this is why I'm in Jamaica.
• 1:21:48
  Because even if I don't feel that happy,
• 1:21:52
  however I was during dancehall,
• 1:21:55
  but I still feel more happy
• 1:21:58
  when if I was in Russia, right?
• 1:22:00
  Okay.
• 1:22:01
  Like, just if you feel
• 1:22:03
  this is going to make you more happy,
• 1:22:06
  do it.
• 1:22:07
  Yeah.
• 1:22:08
  Thank you.