Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / What are the right question to ask when going to your child’s parent teacher meeting?

Transcript

What are the right question to ask when going to your child’s parent teacher meeting? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a playing waune and the club on
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: nine four seventh.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Now, so the conversation this morning, if you've just joined us,
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: we well majority of us have kids, right now, what
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: are you doing taking them.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: To school that's not a free school. You're paying.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: There's uniform, there's lunch, there's extramurials, there's tutoring that you're
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: paying for.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: And you have expectations about this child of yours.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: And every now and then our kids go through a warble, right,
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: and even if they're not going through a wobble, there's
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: always parent teacher meetings.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: They've gotten shorter Garner.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: The days, I promise you my parent teacher meetings were
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: thirty minutes a.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: Slot per parent.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and look, if there's thirty kids, forty kids in
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: the class, it's a whole.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: It's a lot, and it's a lot for.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: The teachers as well, because these are the same people
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: that must go home to prepare what tomorrow's listen, right,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: So now they've made them shorter. It's in and out
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: of there. It's a tame with special it's five minutes
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: in and out. So you need to utilize that five
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: minutes to the best of your ability, right, you need
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: to be asking the right questions.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: What other right questions?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: That's what we're asking.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: What other right questions will run through a few? Does
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: my child participate in class? What are their weak points?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Are they respectful? Who they spent most of their time with?
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Remember we had Alison in here from Allison Scott, executive
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: principle at Bella Vista School. Yes, she was great, amazing,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: We love her, Love you Alison. So we thought, if
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: there's one person that we want to hear from when
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: it comes to something like.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: This, Yeah, what would she say?
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: It's her.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: When children are young, there's a beautiful opportunity to co
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: parent or role release with the school. But you want
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: to ask the kinds of questions that would indicate that
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: your child is making their way in the world and
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: becoming independent in their learning and doing that collaborately with others.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: That's why they're going to school.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: So ask questions like does he take risks for example,
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: climbing or exploring or contributing in a ring time?
• 2:00
  Speaker 6: Well?
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: Is he fearful and how could you support him in that?
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: Do you want to ask what does your child show
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: interest in? What are the topics? What are the art media?
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: Where do they like to get fully engaged? How your
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: child plays with others ask the teacher, or do they
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: prefer to play on their own, which is not always
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: a bad thing. Explore or ask if there are words
• 2:25
  Speaker 5: and topics that you could reinforce or you could use,
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: or you could expose your child to at home so
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: that when they participating in new learning, you know that
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: they're getting that full richness.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Out of it. Okay, so those are the younger grades.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Because I'm not asking Mike list now your child intripan
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: asking them do they take rest? They're like, oh, ma'am,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: let me tell you. Let us tell you about your
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: son Nevin.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: In sunning Hell. Good morning, morning, guys. Are your We're
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: good Nevin? How are you doing?
• 2:58
  Speaker 7: I'm good, thank you. So I've got five kids in
• 3:01
  Speaker 7: almost every age group gen Z's alpha beta, so I
• 3:06
  Speaker 7: think I might have some valuable insights. My girls who
• 3:13
  Speaker 7: are in the twenties, I can't remember a single time
• 3:16
  Speaker 7: to really bother about them. My boys that I live
• 3:19
  Speaker 7: in and fourteen. It's a different ball game altogether. So
• 3:22
  Speaker 7: my questions are a lot. Yes. So the results have
• 3:26
  Speaker 7: said for me, it's not the most important thing. My
• 3:29
  Speaker 7: two excels disagree with me because they just push for results,
• 3:32
  Speaker 7: you know, over eighties and so forth. But my questions
• 3:36
  Speaker 7: are more geared along what's the child state of mind?
• 3:40
  Speaker 7: More so well being? Are they coping? Have you noticed
• 3:44
  Speaker 7: any difference in their behaviors? I get similar sort of
• 3:48
  Speaker 7: stuff coming through from my boys in the sense that
• 3:51
  Speaker 7: they do finish their work quickly, they're smart, they're not
• 3:53
  Speaker 7: working to the full potential, and they disrupt the class.
• 3:58
  Speaker 7: So my questions around disruption is are they being disrespectful
• 4:03
  Speaker 7: to you or the other kids? Are they being rude?
• 4:06
  Speaker 7: And the answer and normally know they're kind of more
• 4:08
  Speaker 7: playful and energetic. So my questions, I mean, I don't
• 4:13
  Speaker 7: fully agree with the school curriculum. I'm preparing my kids
• 4:16
  Speaker 7: for other things in life that schools I feel don't
• 4:19
  Speaker 7: prepared them for. Even my living year old. I'm talking
• 4:23
  Speaker 7: to them about business. I run a small business. I'm
• 4:25
  Speaker 7: talking to them about business because I grew up in
• 4:29
  Speaker 7: an era where we were told work hard, study hard,
• 4:32
  Speaker 7: be loyal to employer. Those things don't work anymore. Yeah,
• 4:37
  Speaker 7: And I'm teaching them stuff in the business that they're
• 4:39
  Speaker 7: not learning in the classroom. You know, people skilled how
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: to interact with people. You get a difficult customer, sound correct,
• 4:48
  Speaker 7: because everything is about selling at the end of the day, you.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Know, Nevin, it almost sounds like the teachers need to
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: see you, that need to come to you to see
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: how you're doing.
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: It, you know, to be honest with you.
• 4:58
  Speaker 7: For me, I just want a kid to be safe
• 5:00
  Speaker 7: in school, not being harmed, you know, emotionally be handing
• 5:05
  Speaker 7: our kids over to the to the teachers. I think
• 5:07
  Speaker 7: that's their job while they were with them, and we
• 5:10
  Speaker 7: do the same at home, you know. So the disruption
• 5:12
  Speaker 7: and I've noticed the energy levels of my boys I
• 5:15
  Speaker 7: know I'm generalizing, is much higher than my girls. My
• 5:18
  Speaker 7: girls would read. I mean, the boys are going to
• 5:20
  Speaker 7: be on the digital devices, which you can't stop, you know,
• 5:23
  Speaker 7: you just need to limit. But my question is normally
• 5:28
  Speaker 7: they've always been How can I say, I don't see
• 5:30
  Speaker 7: the structor but more energetic in the classrooms. If there's
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: a difference in the behavior, then then I would be concerned.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: You definite to use your full eight minutes.
• 5:46
  Speaker 7: Yes, no, no, I could go on talking forever, you know,
• 5:50
  Speaker 7: so like before.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I go, you sound like but I like that you're
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: such an active present dad like you you you, and
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: also because you you've got five kids. Some parents lose
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: their esteem after the third one and then the next
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: who raise themselves. But the fact that you're still very active,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: very inquisitive, you know, very hands on, and you want
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: to and you want to give adults, balanced adults to
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: the world. You know, we can give you a out
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: of applause for that. Thank you so much. Having thank you,
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: let us know when you open your school, because that's
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: the next one.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: Found with your older child. You want to know around
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: the independence. So you're going to ask the teacher questions like,
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: tell me about.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: My child's work ethic. Is there diligent effort?
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Is he handing and submitting his tasks in on time?
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: Does my child present his best effort? How is my
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: child working with others? Very important because things become collaborative.
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: How does he contribute to the group? What role does
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: my child prefer to take in the group? How does
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: my child manage group dynamics? And then motivation and interest
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: in learning is much how curious? What what would you
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: say is his favorite topical interest? How could we support
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: that further at home?
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Sure? Those are good, are very good.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: There was a good especially the one around. Does my
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: child need to be pushed in order to perform? Right,
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: because you can have somebody who will get the seventies
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: and eighties, But after you've literally sat on their head.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Do they need the pressure? Need pressure to perform? You
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: need to leave them alone? What do you think?
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Because I think as well, there's one skill set we
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: need to pass on to our children's the ability to
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: self start. Because when you're an adult, you have to
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: do it yourself. You're not going to have somebody coming
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: to you saying are you doing that?
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: Did you?
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Are you going to start that? The only thing you're
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: going to get is when the results are in, and
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: that's like you or die here exactly, shut out in
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Pretoria talk to us.
• 7:51
  Speaker 8: Hello, Hello, first, lovely to have you.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: And I'm so glad because you're a teacher, so this is.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: A great job to be a first.
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: Yes, I just wanted to say, it's very good questions.
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: But I'm always asking is the parents are they ready
• 8:12
  Speaker 6: for the answers? If I can put it that way,
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: because it's if you say, is your child working the pen?
• 8:18
  Speaker 6: And how do you say in a good way that
• 8:20
  Speaker 6: your child is not even opening his book, or he
• 8:23
  Speaker 6: is not even doing anything. So we always have to
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: you sweet coat it and say, well, your child can
• 8:31
  Speaker 6: do a little bit better.
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: Or there's a room for improvement.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: This is a kid. This is a good point though,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: because obviously, now, like we're saying, you ask the question,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: teacher Carrot has to answer it, and it's not a
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: it's not a nice answer. Do the parents fight with you?
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: Then yes, because the worst question I can always get
• 8:51
  Speaker 6: is what are you doing as a teacher? What did
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: you do? And my answer is always the same. I've
• 8:57
  Speaker 6: been doing this for nine ten years. Everyone it's been party.
• 9:01
  Speaker 6: But your child, you.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Know, what would I do different?
• 9:06
  Speaker 6: You know? Do you get what I'm saying?
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Your child, though, has been under the special sense of
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: skills and he doesn't bring them to class.
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: And the other difficult thing also is some some children
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: are just not you know, mevs or something is not
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: very strong point. Sometimes they are very good in a
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: natural science and all of that, but yeah, the mevs.
• 9:32
  Speaker 6: You must put in some extra effort if I had
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: to put it like that.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: You know, but have you seen a parent and you
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: that is asked the question like that and you've looked
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: at them and I understand now, like.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Things make a lot of things are landing.
• 9:48
  Speaker 6: A lot of times I can see. It's it's difficult
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: to say, but sometimes you see the apple doesn't.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: The apples didn't fall at all. It's literally he's still
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: hanging under the tree.
• 10:01
  Speaker 8: Wow.
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: And it's like in our school also, we send that
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: messages to say your child didn't pass this assessment or
• 10:09
  Speaker 6: us mist behaving in class, and then a parent will
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: come there and say, Yo, what is this my child?
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: Then I say, like, didn't you receive the twenty seven
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: emails we just sent? And yeah, like they came there.
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: It is the first time they yeah about the angel
• 10:26
  Speaker 6: not being the angel.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Next anyway, you know your child leaves the angel wings
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: at home and brings the horns to school. That's what's happening.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Is a Delaray in Centurion. Yeah, hello me, Hello, Dela Ray,
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: how are you good?
• 10:42
  Speaker 8: Good morning?
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Victoria's coming out tomorrow, Delaray, you're also a teacher.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: What's your take on this?
• 10:52
  Speaker 8: So my take is a lot of parents are very
• 10:56
  Speaker 8: fixated on asking what their kids are struggling with, and
• 11:00
  Speaker 8: very rarely do you get parents that actually are what
• 11:04
  Speaker 8: is my child doing well in and what are the
• 11:08
  Speaker 8: things that they excel in? What are the things that
• 11:11
  Speaker 8: they're incline to?
• 11:12
  Speaker 7: Because I mean, I've got a lot of kids.
• 11:14
  Speaker 8: I teach English, and you have different terms where we
• 11:19
  Speaker 8: focus on creative writing and some of them struggle, and
• 11:22
  Speaker 8: then the very next term we do public speaking and
• 11:24
  Speaker 8: they excel. And very rarely do you have parents that
• 11:28
  Speaker 8: will actually sit with you and say, all right, I
• 11:31
  Speaker 8: accept that my child struggles with public speakings as they shy,
• 11:35
  Speaker 8: and actually praises the child and tries to foster and
• 11:39
  Speaker 8: say their creative writing.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Five.
• 11:41
  Speaker 8: My perspective is just if we could focus more on
• 11:45
  Speaker 8: what the kids are good at, we could figure out
• 11:49
  Speaker 8: things that they love doing and they can excel quicker
• 11:53
  Speaker 8: and we can not focus. Which it's not like we
• 11:56
  Speaker 8: shouldn't focus on other things, but let's foster the thing
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: thing that they are good at and actually ask those
• 12:03
  Speaker 8: questions instead of just constantly asking what is my child
• 12:06
  Speaker 8: struggling with? Are they behaving all of that? Find out
• 12:10
  Speaker 8: what they'll do that, what do they enjoy?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you deliarate on behalf of parents here.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: I think I can speak on their behalf.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: It's because what you are highlighting here is the coaching phenomenon.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: Right, we're a coach.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: If you're a good batsman, that's what you're going to
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: concentrate on.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: We're gonna focus.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: We're not gonna work waste our time on bowling, right
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: because somebody else is gonna bawl. We're gonna double down
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: on betting because you know what, you're gonna be ab devilliers.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: But now the thing about academics is that it's not
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: a team sport.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: And and it's also I mean it is you're looking
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: at it globally, so the mark is for English, it's
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: not you know that's yes, it's broken down creative, right,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: but you look at that marketing and parents, I think
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: parents just worried. Yeah, like we were. Parents are generally
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: just always worried about their kids.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: And also because if something is good, you're like, okay,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: we're good there, we find that, we find there what's
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: wrong here?
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: So that you must remember it's so easy for things
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: that are going well to also then go for you know,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: to go pair shaped. Then everything is going pair shaped.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: So we have to be focusing on something that's going
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: wrong to fix it with that, you know, in the
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: event something else goes wrong, at least this one is
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: going wrong.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: I do like what Dela Ray is saying is wonderful
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: perspective as a teacher, I think because I do like
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: it because, like he's saying, he's using an example, English
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: is not just made out of creative writing. So maybe
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: your kid isn't good with writing or creative writing, but
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: the rest of English they are excelling in, so they'll pass.
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: Hm.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no no.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: What you're saying now is it's okay.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: You don't need a spare wheel because these four wheels
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: are fine.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: No, no, I'm saying you continue to work on it, but
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: don't fix sight on the problem because also often I
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: think the problem is now you know, or it's this term,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: or maybe it's this year, this great, but it's not
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: necessarily a problem that's going to be there forever.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: I'll tend.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no, I get it and
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: not remember I'm a positive person and I'm the time
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: of parent who I don't care if my child doesn't
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: get ninety percent, that's fair?
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Is he balance? Is he happy? Is he kind? Is
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: he getting seventies? You know?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Because I find seventy that I'm comfortable with. But if
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: there's something where you're getting thirty percent in.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: You've got to work harder at that.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: We have a problem.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got to work in May day, May day,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: all hands on dead, say your mine now, go back
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: to making your mourning and La and the club on
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: nine four seven