Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / You Don't Have to Believe Every Thought Your Brain Offers
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (01:06) Did you know that you don't have to believe every thought that your brain offers to you? Your brain's job is to protect you. and it will do that at whatever cost it needs to do. and it offers us thoughts all day long and you can either take them or leave them. Do ever think about that? Let me give you real example from today. My cute son, he's seven. He started taekwondo this year and he is testing to move up to ninth gupp, which is white belt with a yellow stripe, I believe. And there's a written portion and a performing portion. So tonight we were working on the written portion and it was the first time we have done this and he was just overwhelmed and frustrated and sad and didn't know why it was so hard. Things come pretty easily to him. Thus far in his life, he's a pretty natural athlete. He makes friends easily. He excels in school and this was really hard for him. And it was really tender that I had this opportunity to teach him this concept. So as he's sad and frustrated, he was kind of humbled and it was an opportunity to teach him that his brain is trying to take care of him. And his brain is telling him that this is too hard and that we don't need to do this. We don't need to... use this much energy and time to feel this way and to do this thing so we should probably just not anymore. That's our brain's job is to keep us safe, to not spend more energy than necessary. And he was cute. I told him to go take a little rest if he needed to, a chill out time in his room and he did and he came back and he kept thinking, he's like, well, mom, What do I do? How do I make my brain think those things? I said, okay, you're gonna repeat after me. So we're gonna talk to your brain, okay? I okay, repeat after me. Hey brain, I know you're scared. I know you're frustrated, but guess what? It's just because we've never done this before. This is new to us. And that's okay. We can be scared and frustrated. But guess what? We're gonna figure this out. And we're gonna do this anyway. And it's gonna be hard. And we might fail. But you know what? We get to do it again. As many times as it takes. And we're gonna figure this out. And I find myself doing this exact same work in taking care of myself. And it stops the spiraling. It helps loosen the grip on whatever I'm feeling so those intense emotions about. and I'm able to think more clearly about how I actually want to handle the situation rather than just emotionally reacting to the situation all the time. And it really is literal self-talk. You can come up with a name for that part of yourself. You can talk directly to your brain like what I taught my son to do, or you can say your own name, whatever works for you. But it's just showing yourself that, hey, I've got you. Like your higher self, your conscious self has got your impulsive self, your reactionary self. And that's incredibly empowering. Brynne Erickson (05:33) Hey, really quick, if you're listening to this podcast, there's a good chance you're in the middle of something. Questions you haven't said out loud yet, a faith that feels different than you used to. And I've actually built a community. It's called Faith in Process. It's exactly for people like you and like me. It's actually the space I wish I had when I was in the middle of my big questions and when my faith was shifting. It's a membership community. Specifically for Latter-day Saints who are expanding their faith and want to do it in good company. And if that sounds like you, come and join us. The wait list is open at Bryn Erickson.com/slash wait list. I hope to see you there. Brynne Erickson (06:16) When we actually take our thoughts and our emotions into our own hands and essentially control them, give them attention, give them space, give them what they need so that we can process them and move forward. Now shifting a different direction, if you're a religious person, you may be asking, well, Brandon, what about thoughts that come from the Holy Ghost or the spirit? or even the double. And I'll tell you what, I do not have the perfect answer for that because... even believing in those things is an act of faith. This I do know, no matter where the thought comes from, whatever source, it deserves your attention. Even if it comes from your most trusted influencer or news anchor. Like it's worth questioning that what they're saying, does it align with what you value and the person that you want to be and what you want to think about other people and how you want to other people. So no matter where the thought comes from, from within yourself or from someone else, I believe it deserves time and evaluation. And then you can decide. Even if it comes from a trusted church leader, from your spouse, anyone that you look up to, they're doing the best that they can. And sometimes we tend to speak off the cuff, right? And we ourselves will say something and think back later like, I maybe wish I hadn't have said that or I had said things differently. And thank goodness we can go back and say that. worked when I was teaching fourth grade. I had a coworker, Michelle, and she was so good about that. The next day she came back to me multiple times. was like, Brynne, I said this thing and I just wanted to make sure that it like didn't hurt your feelings. Or I wanted to make sure that this is what I was actually conveying by saying that. And I really admired that about her that she really thought about what she was saying and making sure that what she said aligned with who she wanted to be and how she hoped people would perceive her. And I thought that was really cool. So all in all, you get to decide what beliefs, what thoughts you hold onto. And if they're working for you and if not, then find the thoughts that are like intentionally create the new thoughts, the new beliefs that align with you. and give yourself permission to change your mind and evolve. lot of beliefs were handed down to us and we didn't even realize it until they're no longer working for us. And then we have an opportunity to think something different. It's good work. It's work worth doing. You got this. Have a good one.