Latest / Talking FACS / Preventing Suicide Through Social Connections

Transcript

Preventing Suicide Through Social Connections · Talking FACS

• 0:01
  Welcome to Talking FACS
• 0:03
  What you need to know about family food,
• 0:05
  finance and fitness.
• 0:07
  This nationally recognized award winning podcast is hosted by the University of Kentucky Family and consumer sciences extension program,
• 0:16
  our educators share research knowledge with individuals,
• 0:19
  families and communities to improve quality of life.
• 0:24
  Hello and welcome to Talking FACS.
• 0:26
  What you need to know about family food finance and fitness.
• 0:30
  I am Mindy McCully,
• 0:32
  family consumer sciences extension specialist for instructional support at the University of Kentucky Dr. Paul Norrod is our extension specialist for rural health and safety.
• 0:42
  Welcome Paul.
• 0:44
  Hey,
• 0:44
  Mindy,
• 0:45
  thank you for having me.
• 0:46
  Yeah,
• 0:46
  rural health and safety.
• 0:48
  That's the thing.
• 0:49
  And as a country kid growing up in Tennessee,
• 0:53
  I I just was always rural.
• 0:55
  That's how we say it in the country rural well.
• 0:57
  And we are going to be really talking rural today because we're going to talk about rural and farm stress.
• 1:03
  And I know that this is a topic that is near and dear to your heart.
• 1:06
  So let's just kick it off and tell me what it is that you want to share with our listeners today.
• 1:13
  So yeah,
• 1:14
  Mindy,
• 1:14
  I appreciate that.
• 1:15
  I think it's important to talk about stress in general,
• 1:18
  stress is not a topic that we would normally talk about in our rural communities or in our country communities,
• 1:25
  but it's an issue that we all experience.
• 1:27
  It's a stress is a experience that everyone encounters regardless of our age,
• 1:33
  regardless of our gender,
• 1:34
  regardless of where we live,
• 1:36
  where we work what we do for work.
• 1:39
  It's an important topic because it has some pretty serious undesired outcomes if we don't address or work on our stress,
• 1:46
  right?
• 1:47
  Yeah.
• 1:47
  And I know when I'm feeling stressed,
• 1:49
  I feel my blood pressure start to rise and my palms might start to sweat a little bit.
• 1:54
  And I'm sure that if that happens,
• 1:56
  you know,
• 1:57
  if you're on on a combine or if you are,
• 2:00
  you know,
• 2:00
  working with some of that heavy equipment and that's something to really be concerned about,
• 2:05
  right?
• 2:06
  Yeah.
• 2:06
  And and those are good points because there are,
• 2:10
  as you've already mentioned,
• 2:11
  there are many different stresses,
• 2:12
  right?
• 2:13
  It can be out working on the farm all day.
• 2:17
  I remember as a kid and then as a,
• 2:20
  as a young man,
• 2:22
  my father would go to work and then we would come home and go out on the farm until especially during tobacco season,
• 2:30
  right?
• 2:30
  We we were out working the tobacco field,
• 2:34
  Gosh.
• 2:34
  To 11,
• 2:35
  12 o'clock at night.
• 2:36
  And then my dad was back up at five a.m. And going to work again.
• 2:39
  And then I repeated that process as a young man.
• 2:42
  I had my job that I worked and then I also work on the farm.
• 2:47
  We had two jobs basically.
• 2:49
  And those things are very stressful and we just don't think about how it really affects us sometimes well.
• 2:56
  And it also makes it hard to have much of a family life,
• 2:58
  doesn't it?
• 2:59
  Because you don't get to have that time together as a family if you are always out in the field are always always at work,
• 3:07
  right?
• 3:08
  Yeah.
• 3:09
  And we talked about,
• 3:10
  you know when we talk about stress,
• 3:11
  we often talked about coping with stress.
• 3:14
  Right?
• 3:14
  A lot of my friends who,
• 3:16
  who live in the city,
• 3:17
  they talked about taking vacations.
• 3:19
  We're talking about taking mental health days and I think those things are wonderful and really good.
• 3:24
  But on a farm we don't really get to take vacations.
• 3:27
  I remember there's not a vacation,
• 3:30
  right?
• 3:31
  And then this concept of taking a mental health day or a health day for ourselves.
• 3:36
  So we could recover and recuperate.
• 3:38
  It's not really available.
• 3:39
  It's not always possible on the farm because farm work is always there.
• 3:45
  We always have to be about our working on our farm.
• 3:48
  And in some sense our farm is working on us as well.
• 3:52
  Mm hmm.
• 3:53
  I know my family who were dairy farmers,
• 3:56
  you know those cows always have to be milked and they don't take a break.
• 4:00
  And so you you have to be ready to milk every single day of the year and there is no break from it.
• 4:06
  So exactly know exactly what you're talking about.
• 4:09
  Yeah.
• 4:09
  And for other farmers,
• 4:10
  you know,
• 4:11
  if they're not handling or working livestock if you're working crops,
• 4:14
  you know,
• 4:15
  you're always trying to work on the soil and plant your winter crops to get that soil ready.
• 4:21
  You're always planning,
• 4:22
  you know what,
• 4:24
  you're going to plant,
• 4:25
  Some farmers are planting crops and have livestock at the same time to try to make ends meet,
• 4:31
  right?
• 4:32
  And there are just different stressors with each of those,
• 4:36
  you know,
• 4:36
  Gosh,
• 4:37
  we've had a lot of rain this summer and fall,
• 4:39
  right?
• 4:40
  And so I just,
• 4:41
  I can't,
• 4:42
  I can't even imagine some of the stress of,
• 4:45
  you know,
• 4:45
  worrying about,
• 4:46
  you know,
• 4:46
  is is my corn going to survive or am I gonna be able to get the equipment out into the field and and then you throw on top of that,
• 4:54
  an equipment breakdown on a flat tire or a tractor won't start,
• 4:57
  or combine won't start,
• 4:59
  you know,
• 4:59
  or you break a belt on a,
• 5:01
  you know,
• 5:01
  a greenbelt,
• 5:03
  those things just increase our stress right on from day to day.
• 5:08
  So if we have all of these stressors that are piling up,
• 5:11
  how do we cope with or how do we deal with this stress?
• 5:15
  It's important for us to,
• 5:17
  to sort of differentiate and to look at that there there are really two types of stress and what I'll call positive and negative stressors.
• 5:24
  Right?
• 5:25
  And so when we think of positive stressors,
• 5:28
  those,
• 5:28
  those are good things that ultimately will help us in the long run.
• 5:32
  And so,
• 5:33
  you know,
• 5:33
  having a grandchild would be a positive stressor,
• 5:36
  having a child or or watching a son or a daughter graduate high school and go off to vocational school or to college?
• 5:44
  That's a positive stressor,
• 5:45
  but it's still a stressor,
• 5:47
  right?
• 5:47
  And then there's those negative stressors that we've already hit on pretty pretty frequently with machinery,
• 5:53
  breakdowns,
• 5:54
  working long hours,
• 5:55
  heat.
• 5:56
  And so regardless of the type of stressor,
• 5:59
  whether it's,
• 6:00
  you know,
• 6:00
  working on 100 and five degree weather,
• 6:02
  if it's negative 10 outside and we've got to get out and feed the cattle and get the water troughs broken up.
• 6:09
  Those stressors still impact our our brains and in our nervous system the same way,
• 6:14
  what happens with that stresses it can actually cause it actually causes a fight or flight response.
• 6:20
  And so everybody's familiar with that,
• 6:22
  right?
• 6:23
  Is that you've been scared before,
• 6:25
  right?
• 6:25
  Mindy had somebody.
• 6:26
  Yeah,
• 6:27
  yeah.
• 6:27
  So we've all had that,
• 6:28
  that's that fight or flight response,
• 6:30
  right?
• 6:31
  But it's that same principle with stress,
• 6:33
  It queues up our nervous system and preparation to survive.
• 6:38
  Were designed to survive.
• 6:39
  Right?
• 6:40
  And so the problem is,
• 6:43
  as you noted early on,
• 6:45
  when we feel really stressed out,
• 6:46
  we don't always make good decisions,
• 6:48
  right?
• 6:49
  We don't always think straight,
• 6:51
  We may not be sleeping well,
• 6:53
  you know,
• 6:53
  we may be distant from our friends or our family.
• 6:58
  It just can cause damage to us.
• 7:01
  And so as you aptly noted,
• 7:03
  um we've got to engage in what we like to call coping skills and in the country try not to use coping skills with friends and family or when I'm out talking,
• 7:14
  but that's the formal name,
• 7:16
  but you know,
• 7:16
  talking about,
• 7:17
  well how do you handle self,
• 7:18
  how do you handle yourself when you stress,
• 7:20
  what activities can I do when I'm under a lot of stress.
• 7:24
  And so those are numerous.
• 7:26
  I like to go out hiking with my kids,
• 7:28
  that's a coping skill.
• 7:30
  You may like to spend time with your grandchildren or your family,
• 7:34
  that's a coping skill,
• 7:35
  getting involved and getting connected to family.
• 7:38
  That's a coping skill.
• 7:40
  This sounds silly and it can sound forward into two men especially,
• 7:44
  but you know,
• 7:45
  if you have a spouse or a partner or a child hugging somebody right,
• 7:50
  holding hands with a partner,
• 7:52
  spouse,
• 7:53
  those actually q our nervous system and tell it tells our brains,
• 7:57
  hey,
• 7:58
  you're safe,
• 7:59
  calm down a little bit.
• 8:01
  And it actually counteracts that stress.
• 8:03
  That's the stress cascade in our nervous system and tells us,
• 8:08
  hey,
• 8:08
  life's okay,
• 8:10
  Life is good's like to sell as I like to say it right?
• 8:15
  And then there are a few other things that we can do,
• 8:17
  so connecting with friends and family and those social relationships,
• 8:23
  you know,
• 8:23
  we always talk about blocking and exercising and working on the farm,
• 8:28
  you're always out moving and moving your body right?
• 8:32
  And it's just like the thought of having to go out for a walk,
• 8:34
  I'm like,
• 8:35
  you do not know what you're asking me,
• 8:37
  I've just worked 14 hour day and now you're telling me that I need to go take a 30 minute walk for my health and that's not a bad thing.
• 8:46
  But you know,
• 8:47
  if you're physically moving and very physically active in your farm work or your job,
• 8:52
  that's not the thing for you,
• 8:53
  right?
• 8:54
  So it might be just taking an a T.
• 8:55
  V.
• 8:56
  Ride out into the woods or just going out and sitting by the pond or the lake.
• 8:59
  You can go hunting.
• 9:01
  I like to turn on a little johnny cash sometimes and listen to some country music as to what uh some youth and Logan colony called,
• 9:09
  told me as Outlaw country as we call it,
• 9:11
  that's the Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard.
• 9:16
  But you know those things all those activities and all those getting away from just the stress even just for a moment tells our nervous system to calm down and it really loose,
• 9:27
  reduces those chemical levels that have got us so worked up in that fight or flight mode.
• 9:32
  And I am,
• 9:34
  My grandfather was one of 10 Children and the at the old home place as they called it.
• 9:41
  There was a swimming hole and I can just imagine that the favorite activity when you needed a stress relief and I'm sure that they didn't call it a stress relief was to go jump in that swimming hole.
• 9:53
  Um that was just you know a little bit of dammed up water on the creek.
• 9:58
  But I can just imagine that that was the way that they relieved and coped with all the stress that was going on in the day on the farm.
• 10:06
  And they probably never ever referred to it as a coping mechanism or dealing with stress.
• 10:11
  Right.
• 10:12
  Right.
• 10:13
  Exactly.
• 10:13
  But it is that is a perfect example just going and jumping in the pond,
• 10:18
  Right.
• 10:19
  And uh we would jump in our pond,
• 10:22
  although my parents didn't like it because it's where the cattle drank and we know God knows what that was full of in terms of bacteria.
• 10:28
  But you know,
• 10:29
  still it was fun that,
• 10:31
  you know,
• 10:31
  it's just having fun.
• 10:33
  And you mentioned on the farm,
• 10:34
  you know,
• 10:35
  one thing that could be as simple that I think my family did and like yours,
• 10:40
  we didn't recognize it as we didn't label a distress reduction,
• 10:43
  but it really was,
• 10:44
  we might be out,
• 10:45
  we might have been in a tobacco field all day entire and somebody would break out of volleyball with the volleyball net and we'd play volleyball all of us.
• 10:53
  And so,
• 10:54
  you know,
• 10:54
  my grandparents had a large family,
• 10:56
  but we played volleyball and that was fine.
• 10:59
  And just those few hours of playing volleyball,
• 11:01
  that's just enough to say to tell each other and to tell ourselves and to tell our brains like life's not,
• 11:08
  not terrible right now,
• 11:09
  it's okay,
• 11:10
  it's gonna be okay and and we need that we need that downtime to to be able to recharge right?
• 11:18
  Yeah and so I don't think it's uh you know coping with stress or handling stress is I like to say isn't complicated,
• 11:26
  it's not trying to plan an elaborate vacation.
• 11:29
  It's not trying to necessarily figure out and get a big trip to Gatlinburg.
• 11:34
  It can just be very simple day to day activities.
• 11:37
  It may just be sitting down and in in the afternoon on a hot day,
• 11:43
  having a couple of glasses of sweet tea and sitting on the porch in a rocking chair or something For some people write for others that may be coming in and uh you know sitting down and talking with a spouse or a partner and watching a movie together.
• 11:58
  Those are things that really helped to calm us down.
• 12:01
  Ryan to calm our nervous system down and they help us get through the day and they help us get through the next day.
• 12:07
  It doesn't mean the stress goes away right?
• 12:10
  I can't make,
• 12:11
  I can't make the stress of what the commodity markets gonna do and whether I'm going to earn enough money on selling my cattle or harvesting or if I'm going to get enough harvest or can't make the rain stop necessarily or a drought,
• 12:27
  we can't change those unpredictable forces right that are outside of our control but I can recognize hey these things are gonna happen.
• 12:35
  These are the active,
• 12:37
  I like to go hunting,
• 12:38
  I'm gonna get out and go wheeling on my jeep or my four wheel drive or my a T.
• 12:41
  V.
• 12:41
  I'm gonna go fishing with a friend.
• 12:43
  I may call a buddy and ask him if he wants to come over and have some tea or whatever.
• 12:48
  Right?
• 12:49
  And uh but those things are that activities that we can look forward to that actually help us handle those other stressors that we can't control.
• 12:58
  Well it's maintaining those social connections and and having something outside of the stressors really helps us to give perspective to all that's going on right?
• 13:08
  Yeah and you mentioned those social connections and that's very important and and and you know we as people living in rural areas as country folk we have a lot of social connections - church,
• 13:21
  we may have the V.F.W.
• 13:26
  a fishing club.
• 13:27
  We may have extension activities that we go to.
• 13:31
  We may have potlucks in the community for the high schoolers' fundraisers.
• 13:35
  Those are all social connections and those are all examples of coping mechanisms that we can use.
• 13:41
  But one thing I want to point out too is that while we're always looking to try to reduce our own stress which is important.
• 13:50
  We want to be looking out and taking care of each other as well.
• 13:53
  And so sometimes helping others deal with their stress will handle stress is just asking people how they're doing and it's not a you know are you doing good today,
• 14:03
  good today Jim because Jim may say yes,
• 14:06
  right.
• 14:07
  And uh if I know I'll use this example.
• 14:11
  Um my best friend in high school,
• 14:13
  his family were dairy farmers,
• 14:15
  your dairy farmers,
• 14:16
  right?
• 14:17
  And milk prices were down.
• 14:20
  They had a significant and we had a tornado coming through the area and so uh we just all chipped in and went down to the farm one day and started helping them do repairs.
• 14:29
  Right?
• 14:30
  So we know in our community and farm communities what other people are dealing with.
• 14:35
  I know that if I've got four inches of rain and my buddy's got 500 acres of corn and he needs to harvest for 1000 acres and he can't get can't get his equipment into the field.
• 14:45
  He's under stress and I probably just need to check on him just a text or a phone call or just swing by on the way home.
• 14:53
  I say coop,
• 14:54
  right,
• 14:55
  It's not cool.
• 14:55
  I don't know that we have a co ops anymore.
• 14:57
  Swing by on the way from the coop and just say,
• 14:59
  you know,
• 15:00
  you need anything.
• 15:01
  How are you doing with all this?
• 15:03
  I know we've had a lot of rain and and just check in on people and that's important and that makes people feel valued,
• 15:08
  right?
• 15:09
  And then and that helps us well and that's part of the community and we all live in the same community and we know what's happening with the weather and we know what's happening with the commodity market and we know what's happening with the prices of of you know,
• 15:25
  goods and services within our communities.
• 15:28
  And so that really helps to be able to provide the service,
• 15:32
  the,
• 15:32
  the social support that we need.
• 15:35
  I know that we can provide good service to each other as well.
• 15:39
  Yeah.
• 15:39
  And it really is part of the community.
• 15:41
  And really in reality if one person or a family member in the community is struggling,
• 15:48
  then it's very likely that there are other people in the community struggling with the exact same thing and the reality is in a community,
• 15:57
  we can't isolate. What happens to my neighbor,
• 16:01
  It still affects me even if I don't talk to my,
• 16:04
  you know,
• 16:04
  to my neighbor every day and I've got some neighbors who are actually moving out,
• 16:09
  I talked to them and we pass and we wave each other and I'm like,
• 16:13
  I thought they were dynamite.
• 16:14
  You know,
• 16:15
  I'm gonna miss waving at Eric every morning on the way to work and,
• 16:18
  and just just seeing him and seeing his face and seeing him around and those things affect us if we're,
• 16:25
  if we're honest about it,
• 16:27
  you know,
• 16:27
  um,
• 16:28
  we just,
• 16:28
  we can't erase people from our lives,
• 16:30
  right?
• 16:31
  Can erase relationships.
• 16:33
  It's just,
• 16:34
  that's why it makes it,
• 16:35
  it's important because one thing affects everybody,
• 16:39
  right?
• 16:39
  Because we are so connected as you mentioned. That that is so important.
• 16:45
  And Paul I appreciate you coming and talking to us about the importance of checking on one another and talking about rural and farm stress because it really does impact our whole society and I know that we're gonna talk again and I think that we have so much to share with with our listeners.
• 17:06
  So thank you.
• 17:07
  Thank you so much Mindy.
• 17:09
  I appreciate you having me on the show and to our listeners.
• 17:12
  If you are just joining us,
• 17:14
  you are tuned into Talking FACS and we are available on all major podcast providers.
• 17:21
  Thank you for listening to Talking FACS.
• 17:24
  We deliver programs focusing on nutrition,
• 17:26
  health,
• 17:27
  resource management,
• 17:28
  family development and civic engagement.
• 17:31
  If you enjoyed today's podcast,
• 17:33
  I have a question or a show topic idea.
• 17:36
  Leave a like and a comment on facebook @ukfcsext.
• 17:41
  Or send us an email at ukfcsext@uky.edu. Visit us online at fcs.uky.edu
• 17:52
  To learn more about the University of Kentucky Family and Consumer sciences extension program or contact your local extension agent for family and consumer sciences.
• 18:02
  We build strong families.
• 18:03
  We build Kentucky.