Latest / Dear Chelsea / Links to Your Kinks with Tony Hawk

Transcript

Links to Your Kinks with Tony Hawk · Dear Chelsea

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Oh hello Chelsea. Thanksgiving Day today.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, Happy Thanksgiving, guys, Happy Thanksgiving. I am in the
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: process of picking out a new dog, a rescue, a
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: half chow rescue. I'm dealing with this chow chow company
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: in Houston that only has chows. I'm forgetting a dog
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: for Whistler. I'm bringing one dog to Whistler. Bernice does
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: not like Whistler, so she's going to stay back with
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: my Belle and her lover, Fernando, who's my Bell's son.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: They send me illicted pictures of them multiple times a day,
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: of her in bed with Fernando under his arms, sleeping
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: under the covers, which is a joke because she doesn't
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: fucking do that, so obviously they're staging these photos. Anyway,
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: I am leaving her behind because I feel like it's
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: abuse of making her come to Whistler with me.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes just don't travel.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: I don't want her to have to travel, so, but
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: I do need a dog, so I'm gonna pick one
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: up and get a winter dog.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: And I am choosing between three male dogs.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: One is named Doug, one is named Albi, and one
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: is named Jim and I there are all between one
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: to two years and they're not like the most they're not.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: I really want a full full chow. I want the
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: full blown Yeah, but I don't want to buy a dog.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: I think that's gross. I probably will do it anyway
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: at some point, but I'm gonna rescue now. Good for you,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: and I'm gonna yeah. So I'm just gonna keep you
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: posted on that. I'm just they're not the cutest dogs
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: in the world. Like, I have a type a face,
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: and these are all very cute.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Dogs, but they're not.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: I just want to say, that's how great of a
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: parent I am. I'm still gonna get a dog, but
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: I don't think is perfect.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Don't judge a dog, Bay, it's cover, No, I know.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I learned that the hard way.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I sat next to somebody at an event recently and
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, no, I'm sitting next to this person,
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: and then we had a fucking blast and I'm.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, I like you.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: Sometimes people are surprising, Yeah they are.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: It's hard not to judge a book by its cover,
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: because sometimes people make it so hard to not judge
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: them by the way they look, because they're the way
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: they look is so ridiculous, right, or.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: Like they they look like a specific kind of person
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: you already have sort of a groove for in your brain,
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: and you're like, oh, they're gonna be like this, and
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: then sometimes.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: They just like shock you.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: I remember growing up like I was always afraid to
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: go into hot topic. But that's like where they had
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: all the stuff that I wanted to buy, and I
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: finally braved it and went in. Well, I was like
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: in sixth grade, and then everyone in there was so nice,
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: and I was like, wait, all.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: The nicest people are actually in hot topic?
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: What is hot topic?
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: Oh, it's like the goth teenagers at them all. That's
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: why I haven't heard of it back.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: When we had malls. You are headed to Whistler soon.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: How long are you going for I'm going for winter, yes,
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: like four months.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, is December through.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: I have all my Canadian dates there, so I'm doing
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I'm basing myself out of Whistler.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: My house is still not ready. It'll never be ready.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I guess your house here.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: And I just came from a meeting again. I'm constantly
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: going to meetings and then I'm constantly picking out things.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: I'm like, didn't we already pick this out? I really
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: can't even express how long this has taken.
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: No, truly, Like when we met, you were shopping for
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: a house and then you bought one and it's still
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: being ready me.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: I mean, I would love the time frame because it
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: was supposed to be ready in August.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Before that, it was supposed to be ready in June. Yeah.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Now we're in at the end of November and they're
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: saying December.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: So we started record I think in February twenty twenty one.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Well, and I spent two years in a rental house,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: so that's to raisis to twenty three.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Here we are two and a half years later.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Couldn't happen to a better person, you guys, couldn't happen
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: to a better person?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: So true, Chelsea. We have a pretty exciting guest today.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Please welcome co host of the Hawk Versus Wolf podcast
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: and skateboarding the Legend, Tony Hawk.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Hi, Hi, Tony Hawk.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Tony Hawk is with here.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: Tony Hawk is with here today. Everybody okay, and I'm
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: here too with us?
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Tony. How are you nice to meet you?
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: You too, Thank you? Thanks for having me. I'm good.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I don't think we've ever met before.
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: I feel like we know a lot of the same people,
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: but I don't think we've officially met. So nice to
• 3:43
  Speaker 6: meet you. Thank you. Yeah, I'm a big fan.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Oh well, thank you.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Likewise, I mean, I'm a very big admirer of everything
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: you've accomplished in your life in your sport. I know
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: that you came big on the scene with skateboarding. You
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: were like it was the eighties and you invented it's
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: called the nine hun. Can you explain to our female
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: listeners what that is in case any of them don't know.
• 4:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well, that refers to degrees of rotation, So it
• 4:08
  Speaker 6: is basically a two and a half spin in the air,
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: kind of like what you would see on a trapeze,
• 4:13
  Speaker 6: but from a ramp and coming back down the ramp
• 4:15
  Speaker 6: without anything to catch you.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: How does it compare to what Simone Biles has been
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: up to these last few weeks.
• 4:21
  Speaker 6: I it would be like if Simone Biles was trying
• 4:25
  Speaker 6: a trick for five or ten years and then she
• 4:27
  Speaker 6: finally made it once.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah okay, and then also landed on wheels. Well yeah,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: well she might not be far behind you.
• 4:35
  Speaker 6: I'm not discounting what she does at all. I'm a
• 4:37
  Speaker 6: huge fan of Simone Biles. I'm just saying like, this
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: was more of a thing that I had been trying
• 4:41
  Speaker 6: off and on for the better part of ten years
• 4:44
  Speaker 6: of my life and then finally made it during the
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: X Games in nineteen ninety nine. So it resonated a
• 4:50
  Speaker 6: lot and it was a big deal for me because
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: it was it was sort of the end of my
• 4:54
  Speaker 6: competition era, so it was a good out.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Seriously, I did a bunch of people mimic you after
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: or tried to. Were they able to also?
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah? Yeaheah. Actually within that same year, two other guys
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: did it, and nowadays, honestly, like it's not very commonplace,
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: but there is a dozen or so people that can
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: do it, and now they have managed to surpass that
• 5:18
  Speaker 6: with extra spins all the way up to a twelve sixty,
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: So now we have three and a half spins. It's
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: on a bigger ramp, so it's a different it's a
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: different setup, but it's amazing to me.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is amazing.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: So when you when you're able to perfect something like that,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: how many more times are you able to do it?
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: After you were able to pull it off at the
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: X Games.
• 5:35
  Speaker 6: I could after that, I could do it pretty regularly.
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: I would say I probably did it forty to fifty
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: times after that. It's kind of like when you when
• 5:42
  Speaker 6: you know it's possible. Yeah, it's a little easier to navigate.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Uh huh. And when was the last time you were
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: able to pull that off?
• 5:51
  Speaker 6: I did it about five years ago, six years ago,
• 5:54
  Speaker 6: and it was so hard to do at that I
• 5:57
  Speaker 6: mean I was forty it was forty eight at the time,
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: and it was so hard to do. I was like,
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: that's definitely the last one.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I liked what I read about you.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: About you so skateboarding, you were kind of it was
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: like very hot during a certain period of time, and
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: then it kind of dulled a little bit. Then it
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: blew up again when your video game came out, and
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: that's how a lot of people were introduced back into
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: skateboarding and it became hot again. So what was tell
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: me about that, And you had a hand in your
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: video game, I'm assuming, Oh, no, I was.
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: I was very much involved.
• 6:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: I think there was a perfect storm of events happening.
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: At the time. Skating was in a lull of popularity,
• 6:36
  Speaker 6: it was still progressing, and there was still obviously very
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: passionate people doing it, but all the parks were closed.
• 6:42
  Speaker 6: It was more like a street element, street culture thing.
• 6:46
  Speaker 6: And then the X games came around in ninety five.
• 6:49
  Speaker 6: They built up some momentum for skating, and then our
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: video game was released in nineteen ninety nine. We had
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: worked on it for nearly two years up to that point,
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: and it was kind of like skateboarding was hitting Astride
• 7:02
  Speaker 6: the video game hit, and then that was the tipping point,
• 7:05
  Speaker 6: and then skating was just kind of in the mainstream.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Talk to me a little bit about recently. Didn't you
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: have a you broke your femur, right, I did. How
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: was that during skateboarding?
• 7:14
  Speaker 6: I was during skateboarding, yes, uh.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: And that was more recent. That was like a year
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: or always.
• 7:20
  Speaker 6: That was last March. Yeah.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: First of all, let's talk about mental health during an injury,
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: because especially when you're an athlete, I want to talk
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: about being an athlete and your mental health space transitioning
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: kind of out of being at the top of your game,
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: meaning your youth, and what that does because you have children.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I know you have children who and one of them
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: is a pro skateboarder, correct, So talk to me about
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: what that is like a let's start from transitioning out
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: of your career, because you, I mean, there is no
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: one who's more famous for skateboarding than you are.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: And so what did that feel like.
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: When you say transitioning out of being at the top
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: of your game. That was a very hard and fast
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: transition for me because I felt like I was still
• 8:00
  Speaker 6: skating up to my potential at that time. And then
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: I fucked around and found out, like I, you know,
• 8:07
  Speaker 6: that was it. I was doing a trick that I
• 8:10
  Speaker 6: had done thousands of times. I didn't have enough speed
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: or I didn't have the usual amount of speed. I
• 8:16
  Speaker 6: came down on the ramp sooner than expected and just
• 8:20
  Speaker 6: couldn't adjust for it. And this thing, I know, my
• 8:22
  Speaker 6: leg is pointing the other direction. And the recovery for
• 8:25
  Speaker 6: that was very difficult. I've actually had sort of a
• 8:29
  Speaker 6: failed round of recovery because I got back on my
• 8:31
  Speaker 6: skateboard too soon, so I had to have surgery again
• 8:35
  Speaker 6: about eight months later. And ever since then, I've been
• 8:39
  Speaker 6: humbled in terms of what I expect of my skating,
• 8:44
  Speaker 6: what I expect of myself, what it means to be
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: a professional, what it means to be even relevant on
• 8:49
  Speaker 6: a skateboard, and I've definitely toned down all my expectations
• 8:53
  Speaker 6: since then and just happy to be skating again. So
• 8:57
  Speaker 6: mentally it was it was really difficult for me because
• 9:00
  Speaker 6: I felt like that was my identity, even though I
• 9:02
  Speaker 6: have a lot of other things that I do, and
• 9:04
  Speaker 6: I advocate for skating and public skate parks and the like,
• 9:08
  Speaker 6: but I was always wrapped up in walking the walk,
• 9:11
  Speaker 6: and when that was taken away from me for my
• 9:14
  Speaker 6: own fault, I had to wrestle with all that. And
• 9:18
  Speaker 6: I've come to a place where I'm just glad to
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: be able to do it at all and it doesn't
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: have to be at that level, but I did it
• 9:25
  Speaker 6: at that level for so long that it was it
• 9:27
  Speaker 6: was very difficult to let go of.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I find it fascinating with athletes, you know, when
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: they retire, when they have to kind of transition out
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: of their sport because of age and because of their
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: body just isn't willing to cooperate anymore. What that must
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: what that must mean for them, Because I know how
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: much irrelevancy I get from work, you know, and if
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: someone said, oh you can't you know, you're not allowed to.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Talk anymore, or what, I don't know how I would
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: compute that.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Now, is that something you dealt with, like on your
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: own did you deal with did you have to go
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: to therapy for this?
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: I do see a therapists regularly, and he definitely helped
• 10:00
  Speaker 6: with giving me that perspective. My wife was really the
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: one who was the most helpful, because she's the one
• 10:09
  Speaker 6: who gives it to me straight and is like, look,
• 10:12
  Speaker 6: you represent more than just riding your skateboard, and you
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: should embrace that more and be thankful for that and
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: lean into it. And she's right. And so when I go, like,
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: for instance, if I go to do a skate exhibition,
• 10:25
  Speaker 6: now I am not so hyper fixated on my own performance.
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: I'm just soaked to be in the mix. Yeah, and
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: I'm happy that people want to see me even so,
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: I've lowered my expectation and it's more enjoyable that way.
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: I think that's what it is. I was always so
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: driven and so motivated to do the absolute best I
• 10:44
  Speaker 6: could possibly do that I lost sight of just the
• 10:48
  Speaker 6: enjoyment of the act of it and the scenarios where
• 10:52
  Speaker 6: I get to be like I get to travel the
• 10:53
  Speaker 6: world and ride my skateboard and people pay me to
• 10:56
  Speaker 6: do that that's just wild. I'm fifty five.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I know it's crazy.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: It's crazy that you're still skateboarding at fifty five years old.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, hopefully that's a new norm that people will,
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: you know, be able to.
• 11:07
  Speaker 6: I'm the guinea pig for how far you can try everybody.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: But I think what you're describing is missing gratitude for
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: what you're doing in the.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: First place, right, Yes, absolutely.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: In place of the competitive spirit become you become like
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: a little bit more spiritually awake and aligned and realize
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: how grateful you should be to be here in the
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: first place, with everything you've accomplished, right, and then you're
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: able to kind of show up in a different way.
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah, absolutely, and take it in more, you know, because
• 11:34
  Speaker 6: it's more just swallowing your pride and realizing, look, you're
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: not gonna you're not going to be killing it, you're
• 11:40
  Speaker 6: not the best out there, and have fun. And I'm
• 11:44
  Speaker 6: learning to have a lot more fun.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: And so how are you with your son that is
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: a pro skateboarder, Like, how do you guide him?
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Shall I say?
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: And instill in him some of the things that maybe
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: you wished you had known or learned at that time.
• 11:59
  Speaker 6: I think I just help him to navigate the business
• 12:02
  Speaker 6: aspects of it more. He really has his own flare,
• 12:05
  Speaker 6: his own style, and he's very creative and he's always
• 12:09
  Speaker 6: motivated to do new things. So that I feel like
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: is something that was just more inherent to him. But
• 12:16
  Speaker 6: in terms of making good business moves and what will
• 12:20
  Speaker 6: resonate more, what will have more long term effect for him,
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: are the things that he needs help with. And but
• 12:27
  Speaker 6: I trust his sensibilities and so I think he just
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: sees me as sort of Okay, that's one way to
• 12:33
  Speaker 6: do it, and I can grab parts from that. It's
• 12:37
  Speaker 6: a little bit more challenging for him because he's not
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: on social media anymore because that was really messing with
• 12:42
  Speaker 6: his mental health. And he is engaged to Francis Bean Cobaine,
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: so that there was a lot of scrutiny for them,
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: and so they both bounced from social media just for
• 12:53
  Speaker 6: their own their own health.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Oh cheez, I can only imagine, Oh my god, And
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: are they still engaged?
• 13:00
  Speaker 6: Do you get married?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Oh oh fantastic, Great, that's a success.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Then get away from social media if you want to
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: salvage your relationship, I mean, and many other things. So
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: since this is kind of like sort of a sensitive
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: it's not a sensitive podcast, but you know, we try
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: and talk about meaningful things. I would love to hear
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: from you about yourself, Like, what are the things that
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: you've learned about yourself since you've had to discover this
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: kind of different style of life where it was skateboarding
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: isn't necessarily at the center all the time.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: What are the things that you like that you've learned
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: about yourself.
• 13:33
  Speaker 6: I think that I'm good at more domestic routines better
• 13:39
  Speaker 6: than I thought I was, and a good parent in
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: terms of being available, being supportive, always being ready to
• 13:47
  Speaker 6: drive wherever and whenever, and so I think those things
• 13:52
  Speaker 6: I knew I was good at them, but they were
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: but I was always just home for a couple of
• 13:56
  Speaker 6: days and doing these things and then off on tour
• 13:58
  Speaker 6: and whatnot. So it was hard to keep that balance.
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: And I think that I have a much healthier sense
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: of that balance. And I know that my kids can
• 14:08
  Speaker 6: turn to me and I will be available to them
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: at any given time.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've heard a lot of really famous men talk
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: about this. I heard something Bruce Springsteen said, and then
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: there was another.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Maybe it was Dave Grohl.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: There and then there was another man who's talking about
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: they were only really tested to do the domestic aspects
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: of their life or participate in the domestic aspects of
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: their life.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: When their wife was like, listen, you're going to miss
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: all of this.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: Either participate in this, be up in the mornings that's
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: when they're at their best, or you've got to be
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: doing the school runs. You've got to be with them
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: when it's not the thing to be with them, like
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: when it's not an event in the real life moments.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: And the benefit that that.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: Seems to have on men is just it's really a
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: beautiful thing.
• 14:51
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think so. I think that I was doing
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: those things, but I was doing them in pockets and
• 14:57
  Speaker 6: not in a truly long assistance since, like I said,
• 15:02
  Speaker 6: because I was a home here and there and then
• 15:03
  Speaker 6: then not. But then now I have made a much
• 15:07
  Speaker 6: more concerted effort to be home for long stretches at
• 15:10
  Speaker 6: a time. So there is that consistency, and it's it's great,
• 15:14
  Speaker 6: you know. It's it's exhausting, just like anything any parenting
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: would be. And I feel for the moms that are
• 15:19
  Speaker 6: doing it alone. But it's it's it's rewarding, it's the
• 15:22
  Speaker 6: most rewarding thing.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I believe you.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: I believe when people say it's rewarding, I can see
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: that it's rewarding. It just seems unfathobble to someone like
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: me who has zero children, that any person or two
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: people even could raise four children. It seems crazy, like
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: I just don't even understand how. And I'm from a
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: family of six children. But we were kind of left,
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: you know, to do whatever the hell we felt like it.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: But we still survived and we're all working and living.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: So it's pretty amazing when you think about bringing that
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: many people into the world and then just kind of
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: ushering them through life.
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: Right, it is, but you get better at it. So unfortunately,
• 16:03
  Speaker 6: your first one or two kids, you know, they're sort
• 16:07
  Speaker 6: of the tests for how it's going to go, right,
• 16:11
  Speaker 6: but everyone knows that that's how it goes, and you know,
• 16:14
  Speaker 6: sometimes they become the caretakers of sorts. But I agree
• 16:17
  Speaker 6: with you. We actually my wife in between us, we
• 16:19
  Speaker 6: have six oh and so there were years where it
• 16:22
  Speaker 6: was like four kids in school mode but going to
• 16:26
  Speaker 6: different schools, and that got very challenging, but you figure
• 16:32
  Speaker 6: it out. It's hard when you see it from a
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: different perspective, and the most rewarding thing is when you
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: see them make good choices. It sounds cliche, but it is.
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: It's true, Like you see that you've given them at
• 16:44
  Speaker 6: least a sense of values and the tools to make
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: a good decision in a challenging time. Yeah.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: I always am very surprised by my nieces who always
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: show extraordinary strength and like their philosophy on life. I'm like,
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: or they know how to make a decision. I'm like,
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: how did you know that? I didn't know that at
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: that age. It's like kids, Kids are smarter from social
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: media and dummer from social media, but also smarter just
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: because of evolution, right, everybody keeps getting smarter.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: It seems like I know that you open like nine
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: hundred skate parks? Is that right?
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: Through our foundation we've helped to you know, we've helped
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: to open I think over seven or eight hundred now
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: with a lot more in the works.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: That's incredible in lower sociate economic neighborhoods, right.
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, just underserved areas. It all started with the idea
• 17:30
  Speaker 6: that it was like around two thousand and two, I
• 17:32
  Speaker 6: believe skating was really starting to explode and there were
• 17:37
  Speaker 6: very few facilities and I saw that firsthand, and I
• 17:41
  Speaker 6: ended up getting invited to a few big grand openings
• 17:44
  Speaker 6: of skate parks, and there was one in particular that
• 17:46
  Speaker 6: I went to and the city council was so excited
• 17:50
  Speaker 6: because they thought that they were cool, they thought they
• 17:53
  Speaker 6: were progressive. They made a skate park for their their community.
• 17:57
  Speaker 6: And the park was so so par because it was
• 18:01
  Speaker 6: built by a sidewalk contractor that got the lowest bid
• 18:05
  Speaker 6: to do the work, didn't know how to make a
• 18:07
  Speaker 6: skate park. And I went to the park and I
• 18:10
  Speaker 6: got to be the first one to ride it, and
• 18:12
  Speaker 6: they were all up against the fence I got. I
• 18:13
  Speaker 6: went the night before us and no one was watching
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: me except for the city council members, and they all like,
• 18:18
  Speaker 6: what do you think of the park? What do you
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: think of the park? And I said, Oh, it's terrible. It's
• 18:21
  Speaker 6: not fun, it's not functional. You've got stairs leading up
• 18:25
  Speaker 6: to a wall, like I don't understand who designed it.
• 18:28
  Speaker 6: And they said, well, you know what, that's what all
• 18:30
  Speaker 6: the kids were saying when we were building it. But
• 18:32
  Speaker 6: then we said, wait till Tony Hawk gets here and
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: I'll show you how to ride it. And in that
• 18:37
  Speaker 6: moment I thought like, this is just a bad cycle
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: that has to be turned. And I thought, if that's
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: what they're telling, you know, they're saying that I'm the
• 18:44
  Speaker 6: one that they're leaning on to ride it properly. Maybe
• 18:48
  Speaker 6: I'm the one that they that people would listen to
• 18:52
  Speaker 6: and say, look, this is not how you do it.
• 18:55
  Speaker 6: You've got to include the local skaters, You've got to
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: include the local community. You have to go with experience
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: skate park builders. And I went on who Wants to
• 19:04
  Speaker 6: Be a Millionaire with Regis within that same month and
• 19:08
  Speaker 6: one one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars and that
• 19:11
  Speaker 6: was the seed money for what became the skate park project.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: It's incredible, and yeah, that's incredible, incredible contribution.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: Is this something you envisioned to do at some point
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: in your life?
• 19:22
  Speaker 6: Oh? Absolutely, I mean todate, we've given away over nine
• 19:25
  Speaker 6: million dollars and I'm here advocating for it as much
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: as I can. I'm always a big part of it.
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: In fact, we just raised over seven hundred thousand dollars
• 19:32
  Speaker 6: this year with this online competition that we did through Colossal,
• 19:37
  Speaker 6: and so I'm still very much involved.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: Something that you talk about that, I can relate to
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: a lot is envisioning what you want to happen happening,
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: Like when you focus on the negative, that can become bigger,
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: and when you focus on the positive, then that can
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: become your reality.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: So will you speak to me a little bit about
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: that in terms of competition or in regular life.
• 19:56
  Speaker 6: I think my best parallel to that is how how
• 20:00
  Speaker 6: I approach learning new tricks. And my approach to learning
• 20:03
  Speaker 6: new tricks is that it is possible, and I have
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: visualized it to completion and the success of it, and
• 20:11
  Speaker 6: I don't go at it going man, I hope I
• 20:12
  Speaker 6: don't get hurt. You know, oh, I just might go wrong,
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: because if those things are in my head, those are
• 20:18
  Speaker 6: the ones that end up coming to fruition. So I'm
• 20:22
  Speaker 6: always on in the moment, even if it's like extremely
• 20:25
  Speaker 6: difficult and I'm exhausted, I'm still there, going, this is possible.
• 20:29
  Speaker 6: You got to make it happen. And sometimes it doesn't
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: happen that day, but eventually it does happen. And so
• 20:35
  Speaker 6: I have the same approach to life in terms of
• 20:39
  Speaker 6: how we raise our kids, what we wish for them,
• 20:42
  Speaker 6: We help them through our positivity and through our not expectations,
• 20:47
  Speaker 6: but hopes for them.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well your your visions of positive it's like a
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: positive like, you know, envisioning positive outcomes for everything is
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: a really great way to go through life, to go
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: through anything.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I mean to constantly worry, worry, worry.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, just had this experience with a friend who
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: was so worried about the situation, so worried, so worried,
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: so worried, and I'm like, I couldn't get to her
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: to explain to her, like the worrying is actually making
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: the problem bigger than it needs to be. This is
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: an unlikely outcome, and you are focusing on the most
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: unlikely outcome rather than.
• 21:20
  Speaker 6: The most extreme scenario.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, rather what the most positive outcome could be.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: And sure enough, we just found out this weekend that
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: the most positive outcome happened exactly what she had been
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: worried about happening, you know, the opposite thing happened. And
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I know it's hard to tell people not to worry,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: you know, because it's that's like in your it's like
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: in part of your DNA and your genetic makeup, I think,
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: but there is a practice that to be learned of
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: thinking positive lee about things, and positivity does have definitely
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: breeds more positivity. There's no doubt about that that can
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: be scientifically proven at this point. Do you do any
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: sort of meditation or anything like that, Tony.
• 22:01
  Speaker 6: I don't. I feel like my skating has always been
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: my meditation, and I sense that more now than ever.
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: For instance, we were just traveling a bunch and going
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: to much events. I did not get to skate for
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: almost two weeks, and I felt very on edge and realized,
• 22:21
  Speaker 6: you know, I wouldn't have connected that before. I would
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: just have related it to stress or whatever, or a
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: crazy schedule. But I realized, like, I haven't skated, and
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: I went skated for a couple hours the other day,
• 22:32
  Speaker 6: and all that anxiety just washed away. And I wasn't
• 22:36
  Speaker 6: pushing it hard. I wasn't trying anything extravagant or dangerous.
• 22:39
  Speaker 6: It was just more that I got out there and
• 22:41
  Speaker 6: that was my meditation.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's interesting when you talk about, like, you know,
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: athletes and like the tremendous pressure you I'm sure experienced
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: as a younger competitor, the pressure that you put on
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: yourself attached to the very thing you love the most
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: to do and even at that time, being able to
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: imagine a time where you could enjoy it without the pressure.
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: It is, yeah, and I don't. And he used to
• 23:02
  Speaker 6: always be I needed a directive, I needed a goal,
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: like I need. I needed something to aspire to when
• 23:08
  Speaker 6: I'd go skate and I and now it's just like,
• 23:10
  Speaker 6: I just want to go out there and play the
• 23:13
  Speaker 6: hits and cruise and have fun and see my friends
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: and laugh and then go home sweaty. That's what I'm
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: aspiring to cute.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Okay, Well, we're going to take a quick break and
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: then we're going to be right back and we're going
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: to take.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Some calls and we're back.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: We're back. Are you ready to give some advice? Tony?
• 23:32
  Speaker 6: Oh, I don't know. Are my kids calling in? If so, yes,
• 23:36
  Speaker 6: they are not.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: We blocked them from calling. Don't worry. They wanted to,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: but we said no, absolutely not.
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: Wet's start with a caller. Our first email comes from Chris.
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: Chris says, Dear Chelsea. When my kids were grown, I
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: went back to college during a nasty divorce. I started
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: taking ski lessons through the school to deal with the stress,
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: and I loved it. There was something about writing to
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: the top and feeling the freedom of looking down the
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: mountain or the bunny slope in the beginning, and I
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: felt great every time I made it to the bottom.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: As I started to get better, the man.
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: I was dating at the time decided I should go
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: skiing with him, which to this day I regret. He
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: had skied his whole life and had me moving across
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: the mountain from the beginner slopes to the harder ones
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: without even looking back to see how I was doing.
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: When I was coming down a harder slope, someone hit
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: me and I fell. He left me in the injury
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: hut and continued to ski, and yes, we broke up
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: shortly after that. I needed surgery and was in recovery
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: for a while.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, yeah, Oh my god.
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: My question is I've gone skiing since this happened, but
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: I'm still afraid that someone is going to run into me.
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: Do you have any advice or tricks that could help
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: me in overcoming my fear. I want to have that
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: feeling of freedom and that sense of accomplishment I had
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: in the beginning without being afraid.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: Thanks Chris, and she'll join us here.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Oh is that Chris? She looks like a beautiful meadow. Hi, Chris, Hi,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: CHRISI Hi, how are you?
• 25:01
  Speaker 8: Thank you? I am in the beautiful meadow.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: That's a nice background. Well, our special guest here is
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Tony Hawk. Tony, I'm going to let.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: You start with this since it's a overcoming a fear
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: kind of question, and then I will chime in.
• 25:15
  Speaker 6: Well, I'm sorry that happened to you, and just know
• 25:18
  Speaker 6: that it is very unlikely for that sort of thing
• 25:21
  Speaker 6: to happen, especially when you're on the sort of beginner
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: intermediate slopes. Generally, people are all sort of looking out
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: for each other unless someone is very beginner and out
• 25:30
  Speaker 6: of control. But I think that you survived a worst
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: case scenario for the most part, and it's you know,
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: the old, the old cliche, get back on the horse.
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: If you get back out there and you really just
• 25:43
  Speaker 6: start to enjoy it and enjoy the freedom of it,
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: I think you'll gain that confidence back and also you'll
• 25:49
  Speaker 6: be able to be more aware of your surroundings.
• 25:51
  Speaker 7: Right, thank you.
• 25:52
  Speaker 8: Yes, I do want that freedom back to enjoy because
• 25:57
  Speaker 8: I loved it. I loved every second of it until
• 25:59
  Speaker 8: that happen, and now I have like this gripping fear,
• 26:02
  Speaker 8: and now I'm like so tense and I want to
• 26:05
  Speaker 8: get back to where I was.
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: But you're also being led by someone with great experience
• 26:10
  Speaker 6: and not considering that maybe you shouldn't be in those
• 26:15
  Speaker 6: areas or and that kind of thing can really be
• 26:18
  Speaker 6: a recipe for disaster.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: M absolutely listen.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: Part of your fear that you've already walked through the
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: door of it, because you're already back out there trying
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: to ski again.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: So that's half of it.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: Okay, you've already stepped through that doorway, and you don't
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: have to live in that fear because you're not going
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: to put yourself in that situation again. You're not going
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: to put yourself on a mountain or a run that
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: doesn't feel comfortable to you. You're going to take it
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: easy and you're going to enjoy the very thing you
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: loved about skiing, which was the open air and the
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: freedom within it and going down a hill at whatever
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: speed you feel comfortable in without overdoing it. I had
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: been dragged down a mountain by a man before. I
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: have ended up in a gully by myself that I
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: had to climb out of my ski boots with and
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: I never spoke to that man again either. So there
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: can be a lack of conscientiousness regarding others, especially when
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: you are around men and sports. They think, just keep up,
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: if you're worth your assault, you'll be able to find
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: me at the bottom of the hill. And the answer
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: to that is fuck off. So I'm glad that you
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: never spoke to him again. I'm glad that you're healthy
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: enough to be using your body again to ski and
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: do the very thing that he introduced you to. So
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: there is a silver lining. You know, the person that
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: kind of gave you a bad experience is also the
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: one who introduced you to the experience.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Correct, No, he was not.
• 27:35
  Speaker 8: I started skiing after a divorce and I wanted to
• 27:39
  Speaker 8: try something new and something free, and that's what I
• 27:42
  Speaker 8: started with. It just that he just came along after that.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well think of that as a second divorce. And
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: now you can party. Okay.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: So you've gotten those two people out of your way
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: and now you can have a good time. And I
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: think you should just say a little mantra to yourself
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: when you are skiing down the mountain. I am safe,
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: I am okay, I am careful, I am safe.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I'm okay. I'm careful. Just don't put yourself in a
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: situation where you're out of your element.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: And even if you do, even if you end up
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: on a scarier run than you're used to, you're still safe.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: You just proceed with caution, you know what I mean.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: You have more skills now and then you did then,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: And you proceed with caution, and just remind yourself you're
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: gonna be okay.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: You're gonna be okay. And I think if you repeat.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: That to yourself while you're skiing, it starts to kind
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: of live in your body in a little bit more
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: of a deep, more meaningful way.
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: And I think taking a step that's a little easier
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: than what you think is sort of your max. You know,
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: one step easier than what you're you feel comfortable with
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: might get you back doing.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: It a little bit more.
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: But if you aren't finding that you're able to get
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: past this fear, you might try some EMDR therapy. I
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: think for an event like this, that can help you
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: process the trauma and also sort of reframe it.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Especially for something that's.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: So physical and hadst long recovery time, which I know
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: Tony went through just recently as well, that can help
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: with this lingering fear in the back of your mind
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: of like, oh my gosh, there's somebody going to crash
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: into me.
• 29:07
  Speaker 6: It'll get easier, though each time you might not notice
• 29:10
  Speaker 6: how incremental it is. But at some point you'll be
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: on the on the slopes thinking, oh, I'm not worried
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: about that anymore, and it'll happen.
• 29:17
  Speaker 8: Great, because I'd like to hit up Blake Placid this
• 29:19
  Speaker 8: year if I'm lucky.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Do it, do it, do it well? Then come on,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: let's do it.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Go you got it, Chris, send us a picture from
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: the slopes.
• 29:27
  Speaker 8: Okay, I will definitely do that. I thank you and
• 29:30
  Speaker 8: thank you so much for your time and help today.
• 29:32
  Speaker 8: I really really appreciate it.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, you're so welcome. Thanks for calling in.
• 29:36
  Speaker 7: Thanks Chris, thank you.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Right bye, guys, good bye. That was easy. Problem solved.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: To see how easy that was, we'll see.
• 29:43
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: No, but I do think what you said, you know
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: about having those reps and just doing it several times,
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: it's like you have less of a fear of like
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: this is the time I'm going to get hurt, because
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: you have more experience of like, oh I'm not getting hurt.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: I was once skiing with this guy that I was dating,
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: Andre Bilage. I'm starting to just drop all my exes
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: names in public life so they can all But I
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: was one.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Skiing with him.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: I think we were an Aspen some film festivals, so
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: maybe it was Sundance and we were the Kennedys, a
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: group of the Kennedys, and they started skiing and I
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: just I had skied my childhood, but never like, you know,
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: to a very strong degree, so I could ski, but
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: I didn't know how to get down, you know, something
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: hard easily, and I had no technique. And they all
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: made a write and as soon as I just saw
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: what was going on, I'm like, I don't want any
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: part of this, Like there's no way I'm going to
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: be able to get down what they're going down. There
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: was a jump they had to jump into the next run,
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: and I was like, I just stopped, took my skis off,
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: and then like three other people came and they're like,
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: what the fuck is that. I was like, I'm not
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: doing that, Will you guys please do not.
• 30:39
  Speaker 6: Do it with me?
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And they're like yeah. And I remember when we came down.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: To the bottom of the hill, we all met up
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: for whatever lunch or whatever. I was like, hey, asshole,
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: we're on a date, Like, how could you ditch me
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: like that? And he said, any woman worth her salt
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: would be able to get down the mountain.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: That's when he said to me, nope, And I was
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: like what anyway?
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: And that's my story where I got ditched and that
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: relationship was a hot mess because I got ditched too.
• 31:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, So my experiences with dates or significant others were
• 31:10
  Speaker 6: just me teaching them. So it was it was a
• 31:14
  Speaker 6: mutual frustration, but it was never right right, you know.
• 31:17
  Speaker 6: It was never I'm out of here. It was more like,
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: we're going to get down the mountain. It's going to happen.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Nothing worse than a man who has no regard for
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: a female safety when you're on a date.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: There's nothing more.
• 31:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I can imagine.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: Disturbing and you snowboard right, Tony, Yes, Yeah.
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: This next question is a little bit of a tricky one,
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: but Tony, I thought you could help us with this
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: since you are sort of known for tweeting about these
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: like awkward interactions that.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: You have with folks who are like you look just
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: like Tony Hawk.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: But don't think that you're Tony Hawk. Et cetera.
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: So this is an awkward social media quandary. Dear Chelsea,
• 31:55
  Speaker 5: please help me with this very modern TikTok social media nightmare.
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: This sum my dad mentioned he was getting bored, so
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: I told him all about TikTok and how he can
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: use it to watch funny videos and search for things
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: he's interested in. A few days later, he called to
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: say how much he loves TikTok and I've been sending
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: all of the family. My mother and sister included funny videos,
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: and I told him to send some to me. The
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: next day, he sent me a cute video of dogs
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: getting washed and sinks. Something made me curious about the
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: other accounts he follows. The problem my father exclusively follows
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: swinger accounts, ultra skinny women with gigantic boobs, and accounts
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: of women eating bananas digestively my eyes. Good for him,
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: I guess, albeit I wish I hadn't seen the list.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: The problem is he's sending these videos to everyone he
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: knows without realizing the accounts he follows are.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Easy to see.
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: So he's basically sending my mom, sister, and all of
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: his aunts a direct database of all his fetishes for
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: all to see. Please God give me a way of
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: addressing this with him so he stops sending everyone links
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: to his kinks in a way that will also make
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: sure he doesn't get funny with me or annoyed.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: Help Robert from the UK, I mean, that's pretty straightforward.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Just show your father exactly what he's doing. Going this
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: is how this comes up on my phone.
• 33:07
  Speaker 6: This is very transparent. Yeah, it's so obvious to everyone,
• 33:12
  Speaker 6: and like it's one thing. I mean, it's a little
• 33:14
  Speaker 6: too late, but at least he gets saved some phase.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: But it's also like it's also like, first of all,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: it's so upsetting that I even have to know about this,
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: and now I have to explain to you that you
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: have to keep it to yourself, which is a disgusting
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: thing that I now have to know you're doing in
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: your private time. I know, which I guess everyone has
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: the right for their own fetishes as long as it's
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: not harming anybody else. But it is emotionally harmful to
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: know that your father's into some sick shit.
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: The women eating bananas, that one really gets me, honestly.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you just you have to confront him and show
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: him and go Dad, you've got to stop forwarding this stuff.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: If you want to do follow this stuff, great, I
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: mean not great. But if you want to follow this stuff,
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: that's up your own right, but you can you have
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: to stop sharing with it because you're giving everybody a
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: day base of what you're doing.
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: Right, Tony, would you just like tell him, uh.
• 34:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think so. It's you know, it's my simple
• 34:08
  Speaker 6: parallel would be like, you got some mustard right here,
• 34:10
  Speaker 6: like everyone can see it, everyone can see this issue.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: See me as someone who is like more of a
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: people pleaser, I would probably be like, look at my account,
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: here's where you can see all the accounts I follow,
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: and like, hope he puts two and two together that
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: everyone can see who he follows.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: But no, you just be direct, so twissy cat around
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: all these fucking people.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, you're doing him a favor.
• 34:36
  Speaker 6: It's like, I'm not gonna I think that's it. You're
• 34:38
  Speaker 6: doing a favor by being the most obvious about it. Absolutely.
• 34:43
  Speaker 6: I think that you know, I respect people that we'll
• 34:46
  Speaker 6: just tell you even when you're out in public or whatever.
• 34:49
  Speaker 6: It's like, hey man, your flies down, like thank you,
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: because no one everyone's embarrassed to do that or whatever
• 34:54
  Speaker 6: it is.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, where it's like I agreed with you, that guy
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: saved you.
• 34:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and you know, I know I'm making up these comparisons,
• 35:02
  Speaker 6: but it would just benefit him so much more. And
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: it's like, Dad, everyone could see that you're into this
• 35:07
  Speaker 6: banana thing swingers, like everyone can see it.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so just be direct, Yes, direct, direct is
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: the best way forward. Everybody, See, it's everybody a lot
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: of time in agony.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: For sure.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: Our next caller is Jennifer. She's a police officer in Canada.
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to you because my doctor recommended
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: I see a therapist. You sadly did not make the
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: list of recommended therapists in my area, but I thought
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: i'd reach out anyway. I'm thirty one and I'm five
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: years into being a police officer in Canada. Until last year,
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: I loved being a police officer and found purpose in it.
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: But now I just keep thinking about quitting. In twenty
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: twenty one, my boyfriend and I welcome to daughter. She
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: was planned into the world. I thought I would still
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: be the same person I was before she was born.
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: Career driven, striving to be the best police officer I
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: could be, but after maternity leave last year, my heart's
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: not in it anymore. I feel guilty leaving my daughter
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: at our various childcare arrangements while working twelve hour shifts. Basically,
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: I'm feeling that my career is taking all of my energy,
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: and I want to put all of my energy into
• 36:10
  Speaker 5: my daughter's life and activities.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: I don't want her.
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: At eighteen hating us, thinking her parents put their all
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: into everyone else's problems instead of focusing on her. I
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: want healthy meals on the table. I want time to
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: work out. I want my relationship with my boyfriend to
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: be strong. I want to ski the Rockies and not
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: feel like it's a chore because I'm mentally and physically
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: exhausted from work and I want to have one more baby.
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: I've talked to my boyfriend and he doesn't want me
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: to quit. For the income and benefits such as a
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: guaranteed pension at twenty five years of service, I'd retire
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: at fifty, medical coverage, maternity leave up to eighteen months, etc.
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: So Chelsea, do I quit my job? Because my day
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: to day is an exhausting grind and I feel like
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: i'm not the mom I want to be, or do
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: I stick it out, risk missing out on these younger
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: years of my kids' lives, and hope I work my
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: way up to a nine to five position by the
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: time they hit their high school years. A working mom
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: listening on my commute to work.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Jennifer, Hi, Jennifer, I tell cy Catherine, I'd say Hi,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Tony Hawk. He's our special guest today.
• 37:04
  Speaker 7: Hi, Tony Hawk. Carry you Hi.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: He specializes in maternal advice. So you've got you call it.
• 37:12
  Speaker 6: It's something similar. I have many children, so I do
• 37:14
  Speaker 6: have plenty of experience.
• 37:16
  Speaker 7: Awesome, that's what I'm looking for.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you a question.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: Financially, would you be stable without working as a police officer?
• 37:23
  Speaker 7: We would be because the idea is not that I
• 37:27
  Speaker 7: would be like a stay at home Mom'm not bringing
• 37:29
  Speaker 7: in income. I would ideally be replacing that income with
• 37:32
  Speaker 7: something else that's more conducive to like the work life balance.
• 37:37
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: Well, then, I just don't think there's any question. It's like,
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: you have to follow your heart and your gut. And
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: as a mother, I understand the inkling. I mean, I
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: don't understand because I'm not a mother, but I can
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: pretend to understand and empathize with the idea that you
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: want to spend time with your child while they're growing up.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: You're never going to get those years back, and you're
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: pretty dispassionate about being a police officer, so that would
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: be a waste of time to continue to pursue that
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: just for as a means to an end. In my opinion,
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: I think that all women and men should always listen
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: to their intuition, and you know their instinct, and your
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: instinct is telling you that you want to be there
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: for your child and to create some sort of revenue
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: and career that would bring you a lot more joy
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: and would keep you around.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: A lot longer.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: You know, more hours in the day to spend with
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: your daughter. Something probably more part time.
• 38:21
  Speaker 7: It sounds like, yeah, probably something similar to that.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: So I don't think there's any question.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, your boyfriend's probably going to disagree
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: with you, but I think your happiness is pretty much
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: more important than your financial stability at this point. You know,
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: as long as he's working, and your intention is to
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: create another job that will bring you more pleasure and
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: allow you the time to spend more time with your daughter.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: Then that's what you need to do. Absolutely.
• 38:48
  Speaker 7: Yeah. I think the hard part is because like I
• 38:52
  Speaker 7: feel like going into it, I like, before having my daughter,
• 38:55
  Speaker 7: that was what my passion was. I was really good
• 38:57
  Speaker 7: at it. So I feel like I'm worried that shifting
• 39:00
  Speaker 7: this mindset because I have my daughter now, and maybe
• 39:03
  Speaker 7: I'll go back to thinking that way after like these
• 39:05
  Speaker 7: really tough like early years are past, and then regret
• 39:09
  Speaker 7: walking away from it instead of just like sticking it out.
• 39:11
  Speaker 7: I guess for the few years that are really tough.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: No, I don't think so.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: I think you need to listen to your inner voice,
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: because that's your voice telling you that this isn't right
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: for you anymore. I don't think you're going to look
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: back and be like I wish I had remained a
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: police officer and stuck it out.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: I don't think so.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: Like I think that you should be respectful of your
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: own feelings. I think women so oftentimes are taught to
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: second guests their actual intuition and instinct.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: And you don't need to do that.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: You just said it, you know, you wrote in You're
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: taking the time, and even if you did in a
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: few years miss that, I'm sure there's an avenue of
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: your of a way back in to a police force
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: once you once you've become a police officer, you can
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: take a leave of absence.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: You can, Hey, i'm a retired I stopped being a
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: police officer. You can go back to that vocation.
• 39:58
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I guess it's not yeah permanent. It was something
• 40:01
  Speaker 7: I wanted to go back to.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think it's I mean, Tony, what do
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: you think from a male perspective.
• 40:06
  Speaker 6: Oh, I absolutely agree. I was hyper fixated on a
• 40:11
  Speaker 6: career like you, with being a police officer, and I
• 40:15
  Speaker 6: was just sucked up in it. And then I got
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: carried away and I definitely missed milestones and a few
• 40:21
  Speaker 6: of my kids' lives and I can't get them back.
• 40:24
  Speaker 6: I am there for them much more than ever, but
• 40:27
  Speaker 6: there is definitely a sense of regret in their early
• 40:30
  Speaker 6: years because I thought that, well, I need to be
• 40:34
  Speaker 6: doing this. This is the success, this is what I've
• 40:36
  Speaker 6: already dreamed of. I have to chase this to the
• 40:38
  Speaker 6: very end. And what is the end? I don't know.
• 40:40
  Speaker 6: I guess that's my point is like, if you wanted
• 40:44
  Speaker 6: to be the police officer and to be working those
• 40:46
  Speaker 6: hard hours, what is the end goal of all of that.
• 40:48
  Speaker 6: It feels like you're just chasing the carrot the whole time,
• 40:51
  Speaker 6: and you would definitely miss out on a lot of
• 40:54
  Speaker 6: things with your daughter, right.
• 40:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah, my daughter. And then we actually found out that
• 40:59
  Speaker 7: we're expecting second so yay, congrats.
• 41:03
  Speaker 6: I feel like that's if that's the sign you're needed,
• 41:05
  Speaker 6: that's it right there totally.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: And also you're in a very you're in a lucky
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: position because hey, do you know how many mothers feel
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: this way and can't do anything about it. You're somebody
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: who feels this way and can do something about you.
• 41:17
  Speaker 5: Yes, can you take your eighteen months of maternity leave
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: before you go?
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: That would that would be preemptive maternity leave.
• 41:25
  Speaker 6: I like that.
• 41:26
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Well, I basically have to sign saying that I'm
• 41:29
  Speaker 7: gonna work the amount of time that I've been off,
• 41:31
  Speaker 7: So this would be kind of the long game of
• 41:34
  Speaker 7: doing it for like a few more years. And then
• 41:36
  Speaker 7: if I'm still in the same position, I guess in
• 41:38
  Speaker 7: the walking away, then.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: I do wonder too.
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: We have had there may not be a parallel for you,
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: but we've had a couple people who've called in who've
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: worked in the school systems and you know, teaching hasn't
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: been right for them anymore, but they've moved into sort
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: of like a parallel position like librarian.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: Or something else in the school, so they will still
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: qualify for their pension.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: So like that may be something to explore if there
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: is any all alternative for you.
• 42:01
  Speaker 7: Mm hmm, yeah, that's yeah. I definitely think I have options.
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: It's just a matter of like narrowing it down. I'm
• 42:07
  Speaker 7: very like type a personality, like I'm not just going
• 42:09
  Speaker 7: to jump ship and not know what I'm going to
• 42:10
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna you know, research it, figure out what the
• 42:13
  Speaker 7: income is and if it fits, like what my needs
• 42:16
  Speaker 7: are I guess now versus what my needs and like
• 42:19
  Speaker 7: once we're five years ago.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Sure, Okay, well, well thanks much. You're absolutely welcome. Thank
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: you for calling in.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: And I hope you have a clearer conscience moving forward
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: about your move.
• 42:29
  Speaker 7: And well, I have three more opinions I guess whether Yeah,
• 42:33
  Speaker 7: kind of on my side.
• 42:34
  Speaker 6: So yeah, it's the best thing. It's the best thing
• 42:36
  Speaker 6: you can do. Yeah. Yeah, it's the most rewarding thing
• 42:39
  Speaker 6: you could do as well. Yeah.
• 42:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah for my kids for sure. And that's the biggest thing,
• 42:43
  Speaker 7: right is not looking back and then, like you said,
• 42:45
  Speaker 7: like regretting missing those those times for what right, Like
• 42:49
  Speaker 7: the I guess on the work side of things, like
• 42:51
  Speaker 7: those people you know aren't going to remember that I
• 42:53
  Speaker 7: was there that day, but like my kids will remember
• 42:55
  Speaker 7: that I wasn't right, So that's it.
• 42:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, and Chelsea said this before, but but you
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: know the decision that you make will be the right decision,
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: you know, listening to your gut, do what your gut
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: tells you. And then when you make that decision, like
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: go forward in confidence and if you need to change later,
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: you can change later.
• 43:10
  Speaker 7: Yeah, for sure. Like where the things come up also
• 43:14
  Speaker 7: is like I was listening to your podcast the other
• 43:15
  Speaker 7: day where the sister was really struggling with supporting her
• 43:19
  Speaker 7: sister who was in an abusive relationship. And so it's
• 43:22
  Speaker 7: like things like that that I end up dealing with,
• 43:24
  Speaker 7: Like that's where I find meaning and purpose. So I
• 43:26
  Speaker 7: guess those are the hard things that I'm I feel
• 43:29
  Speaker 7: like i'd be missing out on and walking away from.
• 43:31
  Speaker 7: Like I do find purpose in doing that. I do
• 43:32
  Speaker 7: think that there is, you know, a space and a
• 43:35
  Speaker 7: need for women in policing, and so that's kind of
• 43:39
  Speaker 7: what comes into it too, right, is like if I'm
• 43:41
  Speaker 7: a woman who's leaving, then it's almost like not like
• 43:44
  Speaker 7: they want, but it's almost like, okay, well you're already
• 43:46
  Speaker 7: you know, the minority started having kids. That's kind of
• 43:48
  Speaker 7: what ends up happening is you walk away from it
• 43:51
  Speaker 7: and then what's left right is not as many women
• 43:54
  Speaker 7: who should be because they do serve a purpose.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but maybe that can trigger you into finding out, like,
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: you know, your next career path, which is could be
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: social work or it could be counseling and being there
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: for women in a different way, you know, showing up
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: for women in ways that they will need that kind
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: of support.
• 44:09
  Speaker 7: Right, that's not Yeah, I'm mutually explosive to placing.
• 44:11
  Speaker 6: That's fair.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:12
  Speaker 7: Yeah, well thanks so much.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks Jennifer.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: Today's career day so off and running.
• 44:18
  Speaker 7: Sounds good to have a good one.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, M supposed it.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: By good luck.
• 44:21
  Speaker 7: Thanks.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you got pregnant during that phone call.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: I know that was quick. Maybe it was Tony.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: He's got six kids, he seems pretty.
• 44:31
  Speaker 6: Uh No, I made sure it doesn't happen again. Oh okay,
• 44:34
  Speaker 6: it wasn't me.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: It wasn't.
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: Excellent Tony, you may be able to help with us
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: since you have had some teenage boys in your house
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: for quite some time. Dear Chelsea, I'm the mother of
• 44:46
  Speaker 5: eighteen year old boy girl twins. I'm very frustrated with
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: my son's lack of good hygiene.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: He does shower, but he.
• 44:53
  Speaker 5: Puts his dirty clothes back on. He rarely does laundry
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: unless I force him to. He never brushes his teeth
• 44:59
  Speaker 5: and somehow doesn't have cavities. His room smells like dirty
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: ass constantly. How can I get him to care how
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: he smells. He's not depressed, he's just lazy and doesn't care.
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: Thanks for Annie help you can offer Tara from Pa.
• 45:14
  Speaker 6: Yeah, that's tricky. My best approach to that has been
• 45:18
  Speaker 6: about how offensive it is to your partner, or your
• 45:22
  Speaker 6: potential partners, or your you know, girls at school, the
• 45:27
  Speaker 6: girls of school. Yeah, I mean that was it. Like
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: I one of my sons was. I think he was
• 45:32
  Speaker 6: trying to be more hippie about it, but at some
• 45:35
  Speaker 6: point it was just offensive to everyone. And I had
• 45:38
  Speaker 6: to tell him, you know, because you got travel with him,
• 45:39
  Speaker 6: and I was like, you got to put on the odorant,
• 45:42
  Speaker 6: You've got to brush your teeth more often. And at
• 45:45
  Speaker 6: one point he brought a girl along to one of
• 45:48
  Speaker 6: our trips and I that's when I got serious, m hm,
• 45:51
  Speaker 6: because it was like, you're in close quarters with this
• 45:53
  Speaker 6: person all the time.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean hygiene in general. I understand there's a
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: phase within all of our lives. I have had phases
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: where I didn't feel the most hygienic in my life,
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: where I just like, I like to eat food in bed,
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: you know, I don't care if there's like mustard on
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: the sheet, I'll go to bed like that. But in
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: terms of personal hygiene, there is something very undignified about
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: not accessing healthy water, clean water when you have access
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: to it, and it is putting on putting on dirty
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: clothing after you take a shower is really gross.
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: Like there's that is counterintuitive.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: It's counterintuitive.
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: And I'm sure there's a lot of masturbating going on
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: with this kid too, because he's a teenage boy, so
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: who knows what that's he's I mean, Mick put that
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: in the mix that we didn't mention, you know, And
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: I want to say, like, in these instances, it's it's
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: almost more important for someone outside of the family to
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: make the point to them rather than someone in the family,
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: and not in the sense of like publicly shaming them
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: and like, you know, posting pictures of his room or
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: whatever on your social platforms. I don't mean like that,
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: but I think it would be important if you could
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: enlist one of his friends or one of your friends
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: or some want to make a comment that would actually
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: make him care that he's having an impact not only
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: on his inner family life, which he clearly doesn't care about,
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: you know, offending, but someone outside the family circle. You know,
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: maybe it's a girl, maybe you have one of your
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: friend's daughters say something, or and it doesn't have to
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: be like a public roasting, but like in a private way,
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: like you'd be a lot cuter if you smelled better,
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: or who knows, yeah.
• 47:24
  Speaker 6: Or just by the accounts of girls and women who
• 47:27
  Speaker 6: are like I was not going to go home with
• 47:30
  Speaker 6: that guy because he smelled and his place was a
• 47:32
  Speaker 6: big style out of there, like that's you know.
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe you can go through TikTok or Instagram and
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: just collect a bunch of videos of women talking about
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: how gross they find men who don't be.
• 47:42
  Speaker 6: Pay sure, and it's always a deal breaker, so and
• 47:46
  Speaker 6: not always, but you know, it seems like more often
• 47:48
  Speaker 6: than not.
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is a deal breaker.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, I understand teenage boys are one section, but listen, also,
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: there is a very very strong chance he will grow
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: out of this phase of his life. So while it's
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: not fun to deal with, and you have to take
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: some comfort in knowing that most people don't go through
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: life like that, Yeah.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: I feel like he might grow out of it soon.
• 48:09
  Speaker 5: There's also like maybe you can incentivize it.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: It's a little bit, but you know, hopefully he will.
• 48:14
  Speaker 3: Just Yeah, I mean, I don't have any problem with
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: bribing children to behave better, you know, throwing in an
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: extra video game or whatever he's into, if he you know,
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: if he cleans.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: His room, washes his clothes, all of those things. I mean,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything.
• 48:27
  Speaker 6: They're almost college age, right, I mean.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: That's yeah, eighteen, Oh he's eighteen. K.
• 48:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, they're going to go off to college. Then it's
• 48:34
  Speaker 6: going to be a roommate's problem. The roommates not going
• 48:36
  Speaker 6: to bribe them.
• 48:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I feel like I feel like college, you're
• 48:39
  Speaker 5: going to get more peer pressure around, like dude, you
• 48:41
  Speaker 5: didn't shower this week or whatever.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's going to get sorted out in college, so
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: don't worry.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: Set him free to.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: Be harassed by his peers.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're going to take a quick break and we
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: will come back to wrap things up with Tony Hawk.
• 48:58
  Speaker 6: And we're bad.
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: Tony, thank you so much for joining us today and
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: giving maternal paternal life advice, all of the good things.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: It was a pleasure to finally meet you.
• 49:08
  Speaker 6: You too, thanks for having me.
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: Will you also tell us a little bit about your
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: podcast and where people can find that?
• 49:13
  Speaker 6: Oh? Sure, it's a Hawk versus Wolf. My friend Jason
• 49:16
  Speaker 6: Ellis and I we were both on Serious XM for
• 49:19
  Speaker 6: almost twenty years and we decided to do our own
• 49:22
  Speaker 6: podcast because it was way more fun and way more freeing,
• 49:25
  Speaker 6: and so we get a lot of fun good guests,
• 49:27
  Speaker 6: but also we have really funny conversations on our own
• 49:31
  Speaker 6: because he is a comedian by nature but also by profession. Awesome.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, great, well, thank you Tony, Thanks
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: so much.
• 49:39
  Speaker 6: Thank you you guys, Bye bye bye.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: Chelsea.
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: Do you have some new dates for us?
• 49:44
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 49:45
  Speaker 6: You know, I do?
• 49:46
  Speaker 7: You know?
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: I do?
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of We added lots.
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: Of Canadian cities Canadians. I'm coming. We added about fifteen
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: new tour dates. I'm coming to Denver again and Salt
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: Lake City, Vancouver, Richmond, Virginia, Santa Rosa, California, Gary and Diana, Baltimore,
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Grown in New York, and about seven dates in Canada.
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: So go to Chelseahandler dot com. I am performing everywhere.
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: I will be on tour all for the rest of
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: the year and through December, and then next year I'm
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: going to be touring all year.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: So come and get it, you guys. It's good times
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: and it's a very much needed reprieve from all the
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: fucking madness that's going on in this world. So I'm
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: here to bring joy and sunshine.
• 50:35
  Speaker 5: Do you have a holiday themed question for Chelsea? Please
• 50:38
  Speaker 5: send us all the questions that you need answered about
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: crazy family get togethers, arguing over which cranberry sauce recipe
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: to us, and all your holiday drama. Just send your
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: questions to Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is
• 50:53
  Speaker 5: Edited and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine law
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: And be sure to check out our merch at Chelsea
• 50:59
  Speaker 5: Handler dot com.