Latest / Mrs. PIE / Declutter Your Life: Finding Freedom in Letting Go

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Declutter Your Life: Finding Freedom in Letting Go · Mrs. PIE

• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Music.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: All right, y'all, it has been a while I am back.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I haven't been on a podcast with just regular folks like my sisters here.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: In a while We've been doing all of these events, or most people have been catching us on Thursday morning on the teaching and we've kind of grown since I've been on here.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: So I'm turning down our background music because we're trying to get the party started.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I am really excited.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: So, first of all, welcome everybody.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It is still Mrs Pai.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I'm here on an odd evening it's Wednesday and I know I'm throwing people off of my schedule, but I'm just glad to be here For those of y'all who are going to watch the replay.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Be here For those of y'all who are going to watch the replay, thank you for watching.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: And for those of y'all who are going to listen on the audio platform so all the Audible or Amazon Music or Spotify, I can't remember wherever you get your podcast, wherever you get it y'all.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you to Buzzsprout and especially shout out to our Parade Deck family, who always supports me.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: So tonight y'all, we're talking about declutter.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I have my notes, cause I have no intention of messing this up.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Tonight we're going to have fun, it's going to be a good conversation and, um, and I want to introduce you really quickly to both of my girlfriends, makisha and Tanya.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Here Can y'all say hello?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, we can't forget the comments, so those of y, of y'all, um, if you're in the comment section, drop.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: If you got a question or whatever, drop your comments.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: We are following along, and so I just want to frame tonight, um, so we wanted to talk about carmen carmen jackson in the house, carmen jackson in the house, y'all.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: It's a little bit of a reunion y'all.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I said we haven't been on a, we haven't been on a for real podcast in a while.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: So tonight we want to talk about not just um declutter from the sense of, like you know, the Marie Kondo, where we clean up our spaces.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: We want to talk about um kind of purging anything that doesn't serve us anymore.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Tracy's in the house hey, tracy, now I sound like one of these TikTokers, but we want to talk about, like, decluttering and getting rid of things that don't serve us anymore, whether it's emotional, it's spiritual, it's physical, it could be people, it could be our attitudes, it could be places and things.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: So I think this is really going to help all of us, regardless of what station of life we're in, and so I am going to start with a couple of questions.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: When we think about just decluttering, I just want to ask you guys, what does that mean for you?
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Just in general?
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: What does it mean when we're talking about decluttering?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to start with tanya and then go to makisha um.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: So for me, decluttering my mind just starts to think a clean slate or a clean space, um, and that it's like, okay, starting over.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: And those are the things that come to mind when I think about decluttering making room for what actually needs to be there or just removing what doesn't need to be there anymore.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, what about you, mekisha?
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: A reset.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: It's like a reset back to default back to the originality of it, of the cost you know, of the purpose of it, right, and we all need resets, recess, we all need to sometimes start over again and it's okay, I love that all right, I love that.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: So reset for sure.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Um, and then already in the chat y'all we getting.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: You know tracy wants to make sure we're gonna have to talk about guidance on emotional declaring.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, we're definitely to cut it.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: So I have in terms of like, maybe we'll start with just emotional declaring and the question I wanted to ask Makisha so when we talk about emotional, I'm talking about things that weigh you down emotionally.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Anything that kind of hinder your growth.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: You know your, your emotional growth or your spiritual growth or however you, however you think of that.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: So my, my question to nakisha is can you share a time in your life when you realized that emotional baggage was holding you back, and what did you do about?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: it okay, perfect, okay.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, emotional, emotional baggage to me is when I personally having a pity party because I thought that I knew exactly what I was supposed to be doing with my life and clearly that's not God's plan for my life really that's not god's plan for my life and I was kind of couldn't understand the rejections and the no's.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: So at first it used to upset me, but now I'm learning that the no's are more protection and learning that just because it's no at the moment, I mean no, it's the final answer period.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: So I had to deal with that rejection piece of no For me.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I set high expectations, so when I don't meet that expectation and I get a no, I beat myself up bad.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: So I had to learn how to negate that and that's how I came up with celebrate your wins.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: That was yeah yeah open mechanism.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, as I told you guys, it was not for everybody else, it was for me.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Because of what?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Of you know what I thought my life should be right or where I thought I should be in life, and I'm like I'm nowhere near where I said that.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: So that's a big thing and I constantly battle that.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: You know, battle where I thought I should be and, you know, think about it when you were a kid and you had all these big dreams and you know what you want to be when you grow up and all these things.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Now you're growing up, you're like I'm nowhere, nowhere near that right.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: So that's just me emotionally decluttering that I'm steady fighting every day to figure out it's not my timing.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I hope I'm not all over the place.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I hope you guys picking up no, we get it.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're getting my timing.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I hope I'm not all over the place.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I hope you guys picking up.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: No, we get it, we're getting my timing and I have to be okay with this timing, even though I want more in life.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Right, we all want more, but Paul said it all things we have to be content with what we have now, and that's what I had to learn to learn how to be content with what I have now and be a good steward of that.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to stop talking because I'm going to go start.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: No, that's good.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: How about you?
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: How about you?
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Tanya Emotional baggage emotional baggage.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Emotional baggage.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: You know I think about it especially.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: You know, with the emotional baggage you think about when you're angry you're trying to forgive.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: You know I think about it especially.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: You know, with the emotional baggage you think about when you're angry, you're trying to forgive.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: You know a lot of it.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: I start to be like you have to do reflection.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: You got to do that self-reflection, especially when you're dealing with how do you forgive someone.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: You have to be like, ok, number one what is the underlying hurt?
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: What hurt me?
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Whether it's something they said or did, was it what they did on the surface?
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Was that actually what hurt me?
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: Or was it something underneath, digging deeper?
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: And then, what can I do with that?
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: And so I even think about last year.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: I had a mentor at work that I was working with and we were talking about a role that I had always said I don't want to do it.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I know I'm fine with these type of roles, keep that role over there.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: And this mentor was great in asking questions that made me have to think why was I closing this door, made me have to think why was I closing this door?
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: It was a role I actually had, um, but how it was done and how I had to deal with it it was.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: I had to realize that it was and I use this term seriously because I don't not use using it loosely it was a traumatic experience and I had to realize it was because I got into like, oh, I was, I felt forced into that role.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Um, and even though I had to realize it was because I got into, like, oh, I was, I felt forced into that role and even though I had people who were supportive, I had resentment because, yes, you were supportive but you forced me into something that I didn't feel ready for, I felt too young for.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: And I had to say it was traumatic because I realized for almost 20 years I shut that door.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: Wow, and it was just having that conversation last year for me to even uncover what was the root.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: So that's why I say self-reflection is very key to digging beneath the surface of where the hurt, where you're feeling hurt, because it's not always what they actually said or what they did.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's something underneath and you have to really say why am I hurting?
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Why am I hurting?
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: And if and once I identify it, what can I do with that then so I can forgive and release, and that's what I was able to do.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: Once I identified, I was like, ok, I can forgive, I can release that resentment for people I haven't even seen.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: But it was like, OK, I mean, now I can see where the support was and I don't resent it anymore, I've released it.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: So can we?
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Can we ask me?
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Ask this question.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: There's a question, so can we ask this question?
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: There's a question.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: There's a comment here from Carmen, and she says that her issue is burying the baggage.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: So my question is are we burying it or are we letting it go?
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Are we burying it or are we actually letting things go?
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: So what about you?
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: What do you think, tanya?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And then we go to Makisha.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: What about you?
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: What do you think, tanya?
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: And then we go to Makisha I think it can be both, depending on the situation, we can be burying it because we don't see it as an issue.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: So, like what happened with me, with that, I was always in that mindset and we know, ok, I got to get, I just got to keep going, I got to keep going, I keep working, I got to do, and so, yes, you know, burying it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: And then there can just be things where you're like, okay, yes, I'm gonna let it go.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: And you really are saying in that moment, god, there's nothing I can do about it.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: You know I'm gonna let it go, I let go and I'm gonna let you God, and so, and at that point you're like that's a real let go, and I've learned how to do that in recent years to just be like really, hey, let it go.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: But I have recognized now, as I reflect on, certain things I buried, I buried it and now I got to dig it back up and actually verbalize it sometimes and even if I and it's something I share even if you're verbalizing it just in the room with you and God you sometimes, to get it out is not even just uncover it, you have to verbalize it as well.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to scream your way through it.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: What about you, Makisha?
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: I'm a barrier, I don't like confrontations.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I avoid confrontations a whole lot.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: My sister said I'm a lot of bark and no bite.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I talk a lot of bark and no bite.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Um, I talk a lot but I just don't like to deal with confrontation.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I'm more like can we just get a resolution?
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: So I will bury it until it gets so high that I'm fed up with it.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: And then you're gonna get maniac Makisha.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: That probably has a little bit that should have been buried but because of years of a little bit of release but years of burying it, now you're getting everything that comes along with that burying for years that I've just took on that shelf.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Now the shelf is broken.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Then you're going to get the maniac Makisha.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Now the chef broke me.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: You're going to get the maniac Makisha.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I'm learning to let go because that's a form of control that, especially as women I'm just speaking from Makisha we want to control matters in our lives, our work, our family, and we are like the project manager of our family, right.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we like to control different scenarios and situations, so, but when the scenarios doesn't come out the way we visualize and plan, plan a, two, we know how we play a, b, c, d, o, g, right, but our significant other or our kids, they don't see plans that we have planned out and they're going all the way.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: So we're like you know what?
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I ain't going to address that issue today, I'm just going to bury it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: And then they keep digging, they keep the same situation and you're like no, I'm going to let it go the first time.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: You know, after a while it just blows up right.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: I just think I'm a barrier.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, just that's all right.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: And for those of y'all in the chat, let us know, are you, do you bury the baggage or do you let it go, like drop it, and let us know if that you know which one you are.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Um, tracy says that she loves that Makisha and, yeah, that we're the pro, we are the project managers of our families, and that is the truth.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: That is what it is.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: So now I want to ask about what we're calling spiritual.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Nicole says she bury it, she bury it.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: So I want to ask y'all about what we're going to call spiritual decluttering.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: So just to explain a little, explain a little bit is you know how the clutter in our spiritual lives, any distractions or anything that's negative, that's an influence, can kind of distance us from God?
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: So my question is my first question is going to go to Tanya and then to Makisha.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: First of all, you know how do you deal with that, all the noise and all the distractions, especially when we think about, like, trying to set time apart to pray or you know what I mean Trying to develop some kind of discipline, but you feel like you had to declutter your spiritual life and so that you can even have time Like what does that look like for you?
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: Yes, and when I think about it, because you have put that term out.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: When we talked about this podcast spiritual declutter and I was like spiritual declutter, I thought about it and I had to think OK, when you serve.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: Yes, you know, and so I'm someone who serves in my church.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: You know I serve on the production team and in my church, you know, I I serve on the production team.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Um, and I think about, you know, generally, sometimes you have certain areas where it's always a small number of people who do that, and we do get sometimes to the point where it's like I am always in the back every Sunday and so when I so that made me think about that, I was like I got to do some spiritual decluttering when it's the area of serving, in the sense of I can't do that every Sunday.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: There has to be a time where I go in and get spiritually fed.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, I gotta you know, I gotta move something off the calendar one one day, one Sunday off the calendar.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Um, free up that space to go in and actually get fed myself.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Same thing If you're a small group leader you know we do small groups Um, you think about it and like, okay, don't always be the small group leader every session.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: You know there should be one session where you're not being the one who's feeding.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: There should be a time when you're getting in and you're getting fed.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: So that's what I started to think about with spiritual decluttering, because we get that mindset like we're serving, we're supposed to be serving, we're serving and we're doing it with good intentions.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: We're serving it for our Lord, we're serving it for our brothers and sisters.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: But there is that part where it can get into a negative space and that like, oh okay, I am doing that so much that that's my focus and not him, and so now that's kind of more clutter.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Now it's clutter between me and him, because he was like great, but where's our time, where's our time.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna drop before, makisha, before you respond to this comment, refueling station helps with the clutter, y'all, if you know.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: You know that's the prayer y'all, that's if y'all need to come back and watch the other videos, so, um, so, makisha, well, you know, how do you?
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: You know, do you, do you declutter your spiritual act?
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like you even need to?
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: And if you do, what does that look like for you?
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: so but so so, tanya, I was going to tell you, um, our church do two on two off so that too long you serve and that two weeks you come back to get refilled.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I understand that place where it's not a lot of people that are serving and they need somebody there.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: But you got to do two on two off so you can go in and get regenerated, so you can serve, so you don't serve in a dry space, you know what I'm saying yeah, yeah, and that's what we say as well too.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: On through off.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, when you get to those groups and we know those groups where just we don't get that same amount of people who want to serve, you want to be like two on and two off, right and then, but the reality of what you have is, okay, I may be on all the time because of just how things are, um, but you keep, like you said, working with, um, those leaders in the church.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, be like, okay, what do we need to do to be able to get it to where people can get, to that point where it's too on and too off?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you don't want to serve in a dry place and you have nothing to give, right, you want to serve in your overflow, right?
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: So I'm sorry, but that's that's the thing with our team.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: So that's it.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: But anyway, for me it's entertainment.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I have an addictive trait, personality.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: If I love something, I get addicted to it swiftly.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Um so um, social media.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: I'm learning that I have to start fasting from that because by the time I look up, I didn't spend two hours on tiktok when I could have spent two hours talking to the lord on.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: You know, the videos might be stupid, like cats and dogs and stupid stuff, and my daughter's like, won't you just get a dog?
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: But it's still time away that I could have been more constructive to declutter, to deal with some issues and stuff that I don't want to deal with, right?
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: So for me, I'm learning that just because I have an addictive trait, because I just love things and I just love things quickly, I'm like, oh, I feel like a little kid, you know.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is so cool.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: I still need to create boundaries and um, and I'm gonna have to fast fast from things that I really enjoy.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: And entertainment is one thing that we always said above God, right, that's top Netflix, all these amazing shows and stuff, because they started over, right, because they're coming back from, they've been off from the summer, and so I think, for me, decluttering is just actually just prioritizing, making God a priority versus oh God, I need you as my genie, you know what I'm saying.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh god, I need you as my genie, you know what I'm saying.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, um, that's me just just fasting from that stuff and really taking talking to god and just taking it serious.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: It's a relationship like would I want my husband not talk to me for about two hours?
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I'll be out in his face like you got prioritized.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: So I want to ask this question Do you think that?
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: Do you find that, do you feel more guilty saying no because you're serving at the church, when you know like, listen, some of the noise is caught up, like, as you were saying, you know not having the time and feeling like there's some things that there's some times when, yeah, you need to be poured back into.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Do you find it difficult to say no, no because you're serving at church?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Is it the same way you would say no if it was not church-related?
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: What do you think, talia?
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I do think I'm someone who finds it difficult to say no.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: It's not even just at church, it's when I care about something.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: So, just like I care, so yes, I want to keep doing it, and that's whether it is church, and there are things also in work life and social life.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: You're like, yes, I actually care about it, so I want to do it.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: So sometimes it is hard to say no until I get to that overwhelmed feeling.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: And then you get the time it's like, okay, I'm just tired, I have to say no.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: And then you have your people who are looking at you like, okay, I'm just tired, and I have to say no.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: And then you have your people who are looking at you like, oh, they probably already asked me can you get it, can you handle it, are you good?
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, I got it, I got it.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: Then we hit the.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: I'm going to have to say I can't.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: It's not going to happen and you have to.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: And you do have to stop.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: When you have people who do actually ask you, like you know, is this too much for you.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Do you need help and be able to say let me say yes, I need help now, versus getting down to the line where I am now feeling bad about even saying no.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: But a lot of it comes from you do care.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: You care about these things and you want to do these things, but then you hit that period where you're like it's overwhelming, it's a lot and everything is kind of converging at one time.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, I have a hard time with no sometimes, especially when it's things I care about.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, Did you want to add something.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Keisha, I was just speaking the same thing.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: I've been there.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: The church I attend to now is a bigger church, so we have more people, but I started off in a small church where you didn't have a whole lot of people.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: So I was on the praise and worship team.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I set up the church, I tore down the church, I stopped the kids and you know the children's ministry, you know what I'm saying saying we've done it all, but because there was no help, you burn out, right, so then?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: So then you ask yourself who am I really doing it for?
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Am I really doing it for god or am I doing it to appease you?
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Don't say so.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I had, I had to examine myself.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, I put I want to please God, I want to make sure of God.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: But God is like.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: But you're tired, I rest on the seventh day, but you are still rolling.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: So I think we just have to find that balance.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I care too, tanya.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, so I love people.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: But we have to take that time to replenish and call and say, hey, call a spade, a spade.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Hey, today, jesus, I'm going to need you to just do some surgical.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to be connected to your sermon station.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Match, you know what I'm saying.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to be connected to your sermon station.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: You're a son of Jesus.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: I've been there Because you will get to that point.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: You just burn out, right.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of people that are on burnout mode and they literally are like I'm stepping aside.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: You're like, what do you mean?
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Can I give you a day off?
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Like no, I'm stepping aside from the ministry.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: So I understand, you know, but you don't.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: You shouldn't, we shouldn't get to that point.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: And I think, with leaders too, you know, like you said, having an open dialogue with your leaders too, they may, we may have to do a call to the peoples to train hey, come here on Saturday.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Hey, we need you.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: So that's what we have to do, cause I was like ciao.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: So but those of y'all who are popping on here mid-conversation, we're talking about decluttering.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: So already we covered emotional decluttering.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: So you know some of the things that we had to do, or at least Makisha and Tanya had to do when it came to the process of letting go, we talked about whether we were burying or we were actually letting things go.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: So that was the first part.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Now we were just covering spiritual decluttering and that's really about removing things that really impact your relationship with God, things that kind of steal your time and some of that y'all you know, can we just give each other permission?
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: It's okay to serve, but you know you do need time to actually, you know, have a relationship and we don't want you burning out.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: So for those of y'all who need permission and it's you've not come from your pastor and whatnot, take the time.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: You know you need to reset, you know.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: So that's what we were just talking about spiritual decluttering.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: So now I want to talk about physical, physical declaring, because I know makisha went through a whole process.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Time went through a whole process.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I'm physical decluttering because I know Makisha went through a whole process.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Tanya went through a whole process.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I'm always decluttering.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I'm no good with keeping things around anyway.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: So I don't know if it's decluttering or like manic behavior, but when it comes to like being in a cluttered space, I know like for me I can't even think if my if there's like stuff on the ground, like I cannot function in anything that's cluttered or and I don't operate well in like chaos and crazy stuff anyway.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: So, makisha, I know you went through a huge, you know decluttering and you know changing up the space and all the things.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: And for those y'all in the chat watching a fly, if y'all have done physical um decluttering and all the things.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Drop it in chat and tell us how you did that and what tips you want to share with us as well.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Want to hear from y'all.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: So, makisha, I'm going to go to you and can you talk to a little bit about how you declutter, how a cluttered home can lead to a cluttered mind and maybe some of the things you learned when you went through that process, and then we're gonna go to tanya for some more tips so I discovered, um, that my family uh, they're probably watching, we are all quarters um, it came from my mom, unfortunately.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking back growing up.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: She had stuff and stuff that she probably was never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to use again.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: But she had it and I think, over the years growing up, not having things, we kind of said we're never, ever, ever going to go without, right, yeah, so, being that we're never, ever going to go without, we kept buying, buying, buying, buying, buying and not giving, giving it away.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: We're just like, oh, maybe keep that, I'll probably wear it again or I'll probably, you know, pull that back out, and half of the time we never did it.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: So I had to literally go through my closet.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: I'm still going through my closet.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: I got a little bit more to go, like that, much more to go, and I'm like I don't need all this stuff.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Just it just brought back up memories of me and my family being hoarders and reminding me of why I always feel like I don't want to be like my mama, but I'm like my mama.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: hi, my name is Makisha and I am like my mother.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: I am, I am a hoarder.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Um, I'm learning to not become a hoarder.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I like shoes, purses, all nice things, but I think we need to have perspective on that stuff, right, yeah, if I'm going to go buy two more pairs of shoes which I don't really need, then I need to be blessing someone else, because there are plenty of people out here that, um, is less fortunate than we are, or people that is more, and they will take it too, right?
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: So I think, for me, I learned that and I think I think my husband's family was the same way, but he's probably going to kill me but, um, but we came from poverty, right, and when you come from poverty and you grew up not having a lot, and then you hold on, uh, hold on, it's like I'm never going back, you know, yeah, yeah, I'm holding on.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I'm tying a rope and holding on, tying another rope and holding on, but it's not a good place and I'm learning, I'm learning it.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: So I have placed things in, like my clothes now I haven't got color coordinated.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Now I've went to somebody's house and I walked in their closet and their stuff is color coordinated and I was like, listen, I'm not that fancy.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: I haven't arrived to that level of organization yet.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful that my all myself is hung up properly, you know yeah yourself a thumbs up for all of my kids yeah these are properly hung up right and my shoes are on the on the rack.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: You know I'm like I'm in the game, right, but you know.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: So, whatever level that you're at, just go through it and figure out.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: Like, like she said, you, sometimes you have to go through those traumatic moments, and that was a traumatic moments for me and I really, and my sisters, my sister, one of my sisters is like don't say we're hoarders, yeah, we're hoarders, yeah, right.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: When you got some in your closet you haven't worn in three, four years.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: it's time to bless somebody else, and I know, you know it's easy Sometimes it's like it's easy to say I'm going to pull up this comment.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: And then Tanya asked you to pitch in this comment that your outer space can reflect your internal space.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: If it's disorganized in your house or office, it does.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: I agree it does impact your mental space.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Another comment that many people who grew up in the depression it's a lack mentality, you know, believing that you know you can, you don't want to go back to being in a space, but you didn't have it, so you're, you're.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: You know hoarding is essentially what it is.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: You're hoarding it and then, uh, and then Tracy's comment that it is the little things and so making small improvements.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: So, tonya, can you talk a little bit about, maybe, um, about from that you know, physical decluttering and and any tips you can share and how that might help our mental well?
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: okay.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: So then I had to write down.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I was really like what am I doing?
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: Because I am still in the midst of it, um, and that's one thing I had to say to myself, like this is not a one-time thing, like you said, that's right, it's something we have to do all the time, consistently.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Same thing with laundry like why do I have to do it over and over?
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: Because I keep wearing clothes, exactly, james.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: But I did kind of, you know, say high level, my, what I, I think and you know I'm using terms like high level because we didn't know I'm a project manager.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: Actually it's my career as project manager um, I, I do what I'm calling recognize, identify, plan, move, reclaim, and if you got to put an acronym to it, you can be like rip, mister, but what it is is number one, you know, recognizing the need to, I need to declutter.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: And it goes to what we say the bible even tells you in classes is that you know, for everything there's a season.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: And if you even go down specifically into um, what's that?
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: Chapter three, six is like hey, it's a time to see, a time to lose, there's a time to keep and there is a time to cast away.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: And that's what we have to ask ourselves sometimes is if it's getting cluttered in your mind and you're looking at your space, it's like is it that time, is this the time to declutter?
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: And if it is, then it's like okay, let's identify what I need to declutter.
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: You know I don't need to get rid of everything.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what do I need to get rid of everything?
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what do I need to get rid of?
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: And then once you do that, you know, plan it.
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: You got to kind of give yourself a plan and I think Tracy dropped that small improvement.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: So don't think I'm going to do everything in a day, I'm going to do everything in a weekend.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: Remember, this is going to be constant.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: So you're actually trying to set up a habit for yourself.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: But you got to.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: You know, do that plan, play over it.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: So then you want to go into Proverbs.
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: You want to go to Proverbs 16 and 3 and say I'm going to commit my work to the Lord and my plans will be established.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: And you want to keep saying that.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Because, as you move from plan, then you want to keep saying that, because as you move from plan, then you want to actually move, you want to execute your plan, and that's when you're gonna really have to pray and you're really gonna have to be like, lord, I need you.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: And I think this was the verse of the day today and I was like, oh, this is awesome, this is what you need in this time.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: Goals 1212.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: Rejoice in the hope, be patient in the tribulation and be constant in prayer.
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: So when you get to the execution part that's that part where you got to keep the momentum you got to go in hopeful, but you got to know there's going to be times when, mentally, you're going to maybe get overwhelmed with what you find.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: You're just going to be like, look, I don't know, I don't know.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: And that's when you're going to have to be like, ok, I got to be patient in this, I got to keep praying on this because we need to get this declutter, and then, once you get moved, you're getting things moved.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: Then you can reclaim that space.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, you can reclaim it and say, okay, this isn't, this is the space.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: And once again, you're continuing always to pray about what is this space for?
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: What do I need to do with it?
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: So that's kind of the circle that I go through, I'm thinking on and, like I said, even if it's just a corner in your house or wherever you need to declutter, if it's your office at work, pick a small space and figure out what you need to get out of it and plan it and execute it and reclaim that space.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: But remember keep him in it.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: So you need to make sure you take that plan to him.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: You got to keep asking him about it.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: And what do I fill it up?
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: Because once you move that things out, am I supposed to fill this up with something?
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: And if I am, what do I fill it with?
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: so that's good that's right, we drop.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: So y'all for those, y'all are watching, we drop.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I drop all of the steps in the chat.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Um.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: So uh, we started with recognizing the need plan and making small improvements.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: We went to pray and then we went to reclaim the space and I just want to bring up a really quick comment.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you, james, for the shout out, but he was just saying, you know, going forward and never going back, which is another thing.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Right, when you put this into practice, when you declutter, you know the idea isn't for you to then go back and you know, fill it back up again.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: It's not to go back, not to go backwards.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: So so now I'm coming to I know we have a little bit of time left, y'all, but I want to.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I want to just run some more questions in terms of just like personal testimonies and things that we, as we pull back and just think about, declutter overall.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: We've talked about emotional, spiritual and physical.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: But just from your own personal testimonies, have you guys gone through like what you would consider maybe significant transformations when you've had to?
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: You know, from decluttering or removing things or people or places or habits out or mindsets, because that's another thing is, you know, decluttering our mindsets, removing the junk, maybe the things we thought about before, but have you guys gone through any anything that you know kind of on that scale?
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: And what would you say to the folks that are watching us, that are kind of going through the process of trying to figure out how to, you know, transform their lives?
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: So who wants to go first?
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: uh, I'm okay.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: I said get a shelly um.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: What get a shelly um shelly has?
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: Being with shelly has changed my perspective so much.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: Um, it's always great to have friends to inspire you to be better than you are having a great ecosystem and she's like part of my ecosystem to help me purge some of those things that is not good.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: To that I've decluttered um my old mindsets of uh, like this girl, confidence is on a thousand.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: You know you can conquer the world, like I think we talked about this when I answered her and you will be thinking because she said it and she will come so and just fired up about you.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: Be like we about to conquer this.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: We don't do it, no, we don't even know how to dig, or whatever, but in our mind we're going to do it.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: You tell them, James, in the chat we're going to do it.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: We are going to get it done right.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, so I think having a great mentor and he then put those destiny helpers into your, in your path, that'll help make you better.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: You can't do this life thing by yourself.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: You're not created to be an island.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: You have to be in a community to be able to build, to see we wasn't created to be by ourself.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: So me, having shelly and her seat her sister says it amplifies me to make me feel like, well, god, if you're doing it for shelly, right, surely, surely are you doing it for tonya?
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: yeah, I'm like hello with these acronyms, right project management style.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: She came in with the whole word and she's in our ecosystem so surely.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: And that's where it says you overcome by the blood of the lamb and word of your testimony.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: That's why you need testimonies from people, so you can overcome and be better, a better version of yourself.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: I know we all hear that in the corporate world you want to be a better version of yourself.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: I don't even know why I'm doing the air quotes.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: Hey, I don't know what's going on.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Y'all know I'm so dramatic, but you know I'm saying so it's.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: It's important to have the right people.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: You know everybody was like, well, I don't trust people, yeah, but that's when you have to rely on the holy ghost to give you the right people.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: Right, there's people that that has intent heart to make sure they only want the best for you.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: So I appreciate you, shelly, for picking a little Mississippi Owl gal I don't even know where that came from, but loving me and allowing God to use you to pour into me.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: So that's the number one important thing Making sure you have the right people around you to help you, to remind you, to decolor, so to can keep moving forward.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: That's, that's facts.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: We a out because she's over.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: He and I have terrible at re kid.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: We're not cutting it.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Cutting it, Um.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: So we're g Gordon.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: What do you think?
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: Have questions for our gu?
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: Please drop your.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: If you'v the panel, drop your questions.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: I am going to start raising them after Mrs Gordon goes.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: What is your testimony?
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: What you got to say?
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: I feel like Makisha took mine because I love people, but you know, that just shows that's how true it is.
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: So when you start this journey of reflection and decluttering yes, first and foremost, you got to talk to him, you got to pray, but you need people here to talk to you as well, because you know some of that, you're in it with them.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: So when you have your spouse and your children, you're doing like a physical declutter of your home.
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: They're in there with you and you need you're going to go through emotions and they're going to go through emotions because you're not just decluttering your space, you're decluttering a space that you share and they may have emotional attachments to things that you don't actually have emotional attachments with, attachments to things that you don't actually have emotional attachments with, and so you got to be able to talk together because you may also go through some emotions and especially you're like okay, spouse, partner.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: I'm going through something.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: Talk me off the ledge.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: You got to be doing that.
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: Or, you know, you got friends like maybe they're not in in it, in the space with you, but I want to be like you're my safe space, to go to um akisha shelly, whoever the lord puts me in and says this is your safe space, to go to be able to talk about what you got going on, whether it's physical, spiritual, and you don't have to be embarrassed.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: A lot of us don't talk about it because we get embarrassed, right, and I'm like, like you said, especially when it's physical, we're like, oh, if I tell them what's going on, I'm like, oh, tanya's a hoarder and we don't.
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: We might have to distance ourselves, you know, and we don't talk.
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: We might have to distance ourselves, you know, don't even take anything from her house.
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: But because we don't talk about it, you know all that emotion stays here and there's.
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: We have a spiritual connection with the Lord, but he also knows we need people here and talk to and be able to just vent and then have that support system to say, sister, brother, I love you, you're doing what you have to do, keep at it, you don't have to feel bad about it.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: It's something we all have to work through.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: And then I would also say you want to journal it, you want to write it, write it out, write what you're thinking, what you're feeling and, like I said, even if you're by yourself, once you write it out, verbalize it, put it out there, because that actually helps get those emotions out.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, I wrote it out, I'm kind of getting it out of my mind, but when I verbalize it, I'm getting it out of my body, getting it out, getting it out.
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: So that's my personal testimony of finding figuring out those things to help me with that emotional side and those emotions you may come to.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: Wherever you're doing the clutter, in whatever area emotional, spiritual, physical there's always emotions that you're going to go through, and it's going to be for the better, but it's going to be going through.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: It is not going to feel good all the time, that's true.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, I wish I had this kind of advice 20, 30 years ago, you know, when I was much younger younger, because I think I would have learned to let go of a lot of things a long time ago.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: So there's a question that Tracy has, and I'm going to raise it.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: Her question is how do you handle situations where there is emotional attachment to things?
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: So who wants to pick that one up?
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: That's the one where I was like you need somebody physically to talk to and that's why the reason I say that is there were things that, as we were starting out in the physical, I was talking to my husband about it.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: I was like, ok, you know, between us we got like three, four sets of dishes you know which ones do.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: And I was looking at a set and I said, you know, honestly, the reason I'm keeping this set is because my aunt gave it to me.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: When I first moved to my very first apartment, she got me a set of dishes, you know, four plates, four bowls, you know all of that.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: And my aunt, of course, is no longer with us.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: So it's an emotional attachment to it.
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: Because I'm like, yeah, you know, I may not even we got so many sets, I may not even eat off that dish, but when it comes to am I really ready to give that, I start to think about her and that she gave it, and that's actually the reason why I'm keeping it.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: And now I'm having to be like, okay, let me think about her as a person, and she was a person.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: She got rid of stuff.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: So they're like, okay, well, your auntie got rid of stuff.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: So she look at you and be like, why is she keeping this?
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: But I think, tracy, to answer your question is like I had to, number one, identify what the what the attachment was.
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: Was it?
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: It wasn't an emotional one, what it was.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: And now you know, work through, like, okay, how do I let it go?
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: How do I let it go?
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: And because it's a physical thing and I can still have that love, that's really what's attached to those dishes, it's the love that I had for my aunt.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: The love is still going to be there, if I get rid of those physical dishes.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: That's a good point.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: How about you, makisha?
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: So just to add on to yours, you could keep a cup, a nice cup or something that can always remind you.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: Don't have to keep all the dishes, right, you can keep.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: I have one like my.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: My mom she had um, cast iron skillets and like and all those different things.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: I mean I don't have to take five of them, right, because I didn't want to take all five but she got other kids, you know what I'm saying, yeah.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: Probably gave me the side eye like I don't know what I'm saying now, but I think you know with that.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Because of that it's sentimental to you.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think you have to get rid of all of it.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: We got 15, 20 different stuff going on.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I mean just taking one, keeping one sentimental piece of it.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: I think that's to add value to you.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, I remember my aunt.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: You could keep that same precious memory with that.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: So that should also be your answer too.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: But for me, my emotional piece is, like you say, it's attached to something traumatic like clothes.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: I remember when I started in corporate america and I didn't have the best clothes.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: So it's like do you really want to give these New York company jeans?
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: So for me I really had to again go address those issues when I was less fortunate or didn't have.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: It's like girl, come on, that's so out of style that ain't even coming back.
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: That's a one-hit wonder.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: Let it go, friend, and don't even go give it to Goodwill.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: They don't even want it.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: They just don't throw it away.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying?
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: So for me I had to really go address those type of issues and stuff like that and now I'm just like, okay, I mean it is what it is, but like that sentimental stuff like my mom and stuff, I will just keep one thing I won't like take everything like her clothes and stuff, like my daughter wanted.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: When my daughter, when my daughter, got married, she wanted like some stuff from my mom's house and stuff and like t-shirts and different things like that, but we didn't have that so she wouldn't got.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: Now I'm not suggesting everybody to do this, right, they're all opinions about everything.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: So my mom liked um lilies and two days before my daughter got married she went and put a lily tattoo right, like a little small lily tattoo on me.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: So I mean you just have to find out what works for you.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying and to your point is don't let go of that until you're ready.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: Right, because that can traumatize you as well.
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: It's like yeah, I know I'm supposed to clutter.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: I got this emotional attachment but we said get rid of it, so I'm going to get rid of it.
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: And then you got some baggage now, because you did that, you got Abby on top, right Abby on top.
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: And so, yes, you know, recognize that you have this emotional attachment to this thing.
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: Figure out what it is, but don't actually get rid of it until you're really able to say goodbye to it, because you don't want to add on more than what on top of the feelings you're already feeling.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: So that's why, that's why I say this all of this is time.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: This is not going to be done in a day, it's not going to be done in a weekend, it's not going to be done in four or five weekends You're constantly going to and that's the mindset we have to get, that mindset that I am constantly looking to see.
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: You know, where am I?
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: Is my mind cluttered?
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: And if my mind is cluttered, where is it cluttered?
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: And is there a?
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: season for me to declutter and that has to be a habit for us.
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: It can't just be like I feel like this is a one-time thing and I'm set.
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: No, it has to be a habit.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: So we have to train ourselves to do that because once we can get that clear, we can think clear, we can keep that relationship clear because we don't have material things and emotions kind of blocking that relationship.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: That's good man.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: I couldn't have said it any better.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: To close this out, tracy, just really quickly.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: At what point do you seek assistance?
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: I think when you feel like you can't do it, there's nothing wrong with going to find someone who's a professional to help you declutter.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: When it comes to emotional decluttering, sometimes you got to sit down in the uncomfortable spaces and deal with it.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: It's not something that you can bury or hide for very long.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: So some of that is that requires therapy.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: So go find therapy.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of really awesome um, you know, uh pro professionals that can help you.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: So y'all get the help where you need it.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Whether it's someone who comes in and declutter your physical space, you go to therapy.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: And the spiritual that's finding a support group or a support group or your church or wherever whatever that is.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: So I just want to thank you both again.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: I think this was so good.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you all, everybody who's been watching along and joining us in the comments, and a shout out to those who are going to listen to us on the audio streets.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: I think this was so good.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: Again, I just want to remind y'all that it is a process, it's a journey and for those of us who are okay with decluttering, because there are groups of folks who are just going to watch this and go.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: What?
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: I don't have this issue.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: Well, for those of y'all, that means that someone in your household or someone you know deals with decluttering in kind of in this space.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: So, if anything, learn how other people deal with clutter and decluttering so that you can be more empathetic.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: So you might be the spouse that's the one who's always ready to throw stuff out.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: I hope this will help you and encourage you to see things from a different perspective, right Cause everybody isn't like me.
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Just toss it out like oh well, and give people grace, like, learn how to give people grace because you want grace.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: So give people grace and just allow them to go through their process and just say, lord, it's your child, like as your spouses and your kids.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: You'll be like, hey, you gave me these children.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: That's right, I'm gonna let you deal with it because you don't want me to deal with it.
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: Right, that's right, and don't be ashamed, like that's something else I talked about is don't you know?
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: don't be ashamed of what you're.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: You know you're having to deal with, again, emotional spirit.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: We're all, all of us at some point in our life.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: We have to, we have to prioritize and deprioritize, you know, and all the things.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: So please don't be ashamed.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: If you need a community to tap into, to pray with you, we're on the Facebook streets.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: Come out of the wilderness, or I'm on here.
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: If you, if you really truly need some kind of support, you can drop it in the comments.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: I do actually check them.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: So, whether you're listening or you're watching or whatever, please love, like and share the video on your way out, y'all, so we can get this in front of more people who could use this help, especially young married people, because, like I said, I wish I had heard all this before, because I was tossing things.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't care, but, man, this was so good.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: So y'all tell the people good night and then we're going to hang out in the green room.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: Thank y'all so much for watching.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you, good night.