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What If The New Supply is a Narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what happens when the new supply is also a narcissist,
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  when the narcissist new supply is just as toxic or more toxic
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  than the narcissistic person that you're dealing with?
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  What do you do? What are you supposed to do?
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  How are you? How are you supposed to handle
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  that situation? Of course, if you're new here,
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  my name is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist
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  myself. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Let's go.
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  What's up, What's up? What's up, folks?
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  Yes, yes, yes. When the narcissist new supply
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  is also a narcissist, what do you do?
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  How do you, how are you supposed to handle that situation?
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  And a lot more people experience this then, you know, like some
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  people don't even realize that it's going on.
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  Some people absolutely realize it, but a lot of people don't
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  know, like the narcissist. Yeah, you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, right? Or toxic person or whoever it is
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  like you're already dealing with this person.
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  Then somehow they end up in a new relationship, whether they
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  leave you for this person or that, whatever the case may be,
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  right? However, they end up with a new
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  person. The new person is also a
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  narcissist or just as toxic or worse.
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  They can be worse. They can absolutely be worse.
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  In these situations right here, Look, when you have two
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  narcissistic people, you can do one thing.
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  You can do. Yeah, you can sit back and
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  watch. Just like Ashley said right
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  here. You can sit back and watch.
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  Yeah, but sometimes it can get a little difficult to sit back and
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  watch when you are the target, right?
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  Sometimes they can. You ever seen Dragon Ball Z?
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  When they do the the little fusion, sometimes they'll fuse.
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  They'll they'll fuse together like Goku and Vegeta and become
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  Gogeta. And they come get your ass
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  together, right? They come, they tag team you,
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  they double team you, they come after you.
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  And that's what ends up happening right there.
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  Like if they're not bothering you and they're just torturing
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  each other. Yeah, you can.
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  You can leave them be, right? Yeah, that's definitely a
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  possibility. But if you the target, sometimes
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  you might have to fight back. Now, again, fighting back is
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  going to look different for every single person, right?
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  Some of that, Elita, what's going on?
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  Somebody's on kick. Sometimes fighting back is going
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  to look different for every single person, right?
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  Sometimes fighting back can be something as simple as sometimes
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  fighting back can be something simple as simple as ignoring
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  them. You can ignore this narcissistic
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  person. Like don't give them any energy.
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  I think a lot of people don't realize this.
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  One of the best ways to put out a fire is to stop breathing air
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  into it. Now, air is not just oxygen,
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  right? Air can mean talking about the
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  situation. Air can mean giving air to it,
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  can mean reacting to the situation.
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  Whatever the case may be, right? You, your reaction sometimes can
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  fuel this narcissistic person. So it can sometimes fuel the
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  toxicity coming from this person or whatnot, right?
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  So it's just this is how it goes.
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  Like don't breathe air into the situation.
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  Appreciate it, Theresa. Thank you.
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  Thank you. Thank you.
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  Thank you, Alita. Alita appreciate it but that's
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  what goes on y'all. I'm dead serious.
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  The new supply sometimes is a narcissist and which means they
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  can distract the narcissist from you.
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  Sometimes the narcissistic person is so busy dealing with
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  the new supply that they're so busy dealing with the new supply
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  that it's also toxic. That is draining them, that is
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  lying to them, that is cheating on them.
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  Like, sometimes they're so busy doing that that that the new
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  supply becomes a distraction for you.
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  The new supply being a narcissist can sometimes be a
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  blessing. They distract them from you,
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  right? That can happen, too.
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  They imagine you just chilling and like, yeah, that damn my
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  narcissist. The ex is solid now.
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  What's going on? And you you get a chance to peek
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  into the looking glass and you see that they asked is the
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  getting just as tortured, like they doing the same thing, the
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  same thing is happening to them that they used to do to you that
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  they used to do what they used to put you through Hell Yeah.
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  You you climbing for the new supply.
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  Then you like, hey, yeah, get, get, get that ass.
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  Because you're happy then, right?
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  You're absolutely happy in these situations.
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  And shout out to Cynthia Sunflowers for the donation to
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  the channel. Just why is he letting the narc?
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  Why is he? Why is it?
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  No. Why is the narcissist letting
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  the new supply control him? He never did anything.
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  I asked because sometimes they're dealing with a
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  narcissist. When 2 narcissist collide,
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  right? It's like 2 neutron stars.
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  If one star is bigger than the other, they're going to be a
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  power struggle. Power dynamic.
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  They're going to. There's going to be a power
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  struggle. Yeah, even if there's going to
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  be a power struggle, even in narcissistic friendships, when
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  narcissists are dealing with each other, this is going to
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  happen sometimes, right? This that you got to go into the
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  mindset of a lot of narcissistic people.
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  So the new supply sometimes is dominating your narcissistic ex
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  and they and they get, they get inside the mind of your
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  narcissistic ex and they make them do a lot of things that
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  they wouldn't do for you, right. You were chasing the narcissist,
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  now the narcissist is chasing the narcissist new supply.
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  They're chasing the narcissist new supply.
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  That's what happens. So it's a power struggle.
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  It's a power dynamic. And don't look what happens to a
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  lot of people. You end up doing a compare.
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  You end up comparing and contrasting yourself a lot to
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  the new supply. And that doesn't serve anybody.
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  I promise you don't compare and contrast yourself to the new
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  supply sometime because you don't want to be toxic, right?
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  And that's what ends up happening.
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  Sometimes you like the new supply is toxic as hell and
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  putting the narcissist through stuff.
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  And let's be real, I'm be I'm keep it hot ready with y'all
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  like a Little Caesar's pizza. Like sometimes the narcissist
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  likes the chaos and the toxicity of dealing with another
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  narcissist. Let's be real.
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  That should be it can be fun. It's never boring.
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  Look, you see? Look, she look right on target,
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  Cynthia said. She said he loves it.
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  Yeah, sometimes they they can be addicted to the chaos.
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  Appreciate it, Michelle, Melissa.
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  They can be addicted to the chaotic nature of the
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  relationship, right? They can make the relationship
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  can be in a new type of addiction, that chaos, they just
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  drawn to it. Yeah, they'll do things that
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  that's like the the narcissist ends up chasing the new supply
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  who is also narcissistic, right, Which could like I said, which
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  could give you a break. They and they said they are each
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  other's karma. Yeah, the possibility exists
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  that they are each other's karma, but just like 2, like I
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  said, 2 black holes colliding against each other.
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  One is going to overpower the other.
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  It's going to look like one, right.
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  But this ends up happening, so you got a battle again.
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  You don't want to become the middle man between the
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  narcissist in their new supply narcissist.
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  Because what ends up happening is sometimes when if a
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  narcissist is left out to dry and getting punished, they'll
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  reach out to you for help. They'll reach out to you to try
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  to be a voice of reason to talk to.
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  Hey, look, I know I cheated on you.
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  I know I left you with somebody else.
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  I regret that. I promise you I regret it, but
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  could you please talk to me? I have nobody else to talk to.
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  My new Boo cheating on me like I cheated on you and they'll come
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  back to you. Do not do that.
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  I know y'all have a lot of empathy.
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  Don't let them weaponize your empathy against you because
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  they'll tell you things that sound good to you.
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  It sounds good to you, right? The stuff that they're saying
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  will sound good to you, but then you they'll be like, I need to
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  leave them. I need to leave this new supply.
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  I'm going to do it. And then the next day you get on
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  Facebook or TikTok, you see them doing a couples dance or now
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  they're married. Now they're engaged.
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  Something they've took, they've taken a step further into the
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  relationship and you're going to be unhappy.
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  You going to be mad and say you like what the but you didn't say
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  you're going to leave them. I'm a drama bonded that ends up
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  happening. I'm telling you straight up,
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  that's what that will end up happening without y'all.
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  And this is what ends up, this is what ends up going on.
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  So do not like if you're no contact with them and they're
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  reaching out to you, begging you for assistance, begging you for
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  help. Do not allow your empathy to be
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  weaponized against you. Guard your empathy like it's a
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  precious jewel, like you're hiding like you're like you're
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  hiding a precious diamond in the your narcissistic ex is a
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  diamond thief. They come in and steal the
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  diamond from you. Protect your empathy like a
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  precious jewel, I'm telling you. And what ends up look sometimes
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  what ends up happening too. I appreciate there is what ends
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  up happening too. Is it narcissist new supply
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  sometimes will try to befriend you.
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  They'll try to befriend you. They'll try to they'll
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  absolutely try to befriend you. Sometimes, not all the times.
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  Sometimes you are an enemy. Like I said in the beginning,
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  the new supply sometimes will attack you over and over and
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  over and over again. Pretty over and again.
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  They'll just launch attacks on you, right?
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  They absolutely will. Like sometimes the narcissist
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  will leave you alone and it's the new supply disabusing you.
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  The post separation abuse comes from the new supply.
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  You know. The post separation abuse
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  sometimes comes from the new supply.
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  The narcissist has left you alone.
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  They quiet, always, always, always quiet on the narcissist
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  front. Except the new supply is being
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  abusive. It's crazy I never get sometimes
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  the narcissist new supply will also be the big their biggest
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  flying monkey and cheerleader. I never get how someone can be a
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  flying monkey for 20 years when a flying monkey isn't even a
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  narc. Sometimes flying monkeys are
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  just oblivious y'all. Just like sometimes you when you
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  see people that are in cults and you can't understand how a
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  person would be so delusional or just mine somebody would be so
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  delusional to fall into a cult and just not get it.
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  Your mind doesn't work that way. Like being a flying monkey is
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  damn near akin to being a member of a cult.
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  Like you're not Sometimes you're not getting anything from it but
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  the approval of the cult leader, Right.
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  That's what ends up happening. What is going to e-mail this?
• 10:48
  What ends up happening? So it's baby steps in the right
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  direction. Yeah, you will get there.
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  You will heal. Now, I got a couple of minutes
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  to answer a few questions, y'all.
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  Then I got to hop off this thing.
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  Yes, absolutely. It's just like a cult.
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  Oh, goodness. I want to shout out you and Oh,
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  goodness, girl, you do this. Exactly.
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  I personally dealt with a covert man.
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  Holy ick. When you see it, after all the
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  deflecting, petty stores, you can't Unsee it.
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  Yeah, Once you wake up, once you wake up and understand what you
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  went through, it's very difficult to go back into it,
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  Right? Once you understand and see what
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  you've been through, you don't want to go back into it.
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  You really don't. Once you understand it and see
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  it for what it is, you log out. You're like, hell no.
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  I ain't dealing with this no more.
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  Hell no. Nope.
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  And it's hard to see them any different.
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  Like once you wake up to it, it's very difficult to see them
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  any differently. I felt like I was in the cult
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  with the narcissist. Yep.
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  A cult of two. Yep.
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  And they're the leader. All right.
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  What's going on, Angela? How long does it take to wake up
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  Some people? Like I'm I want don't want to
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  scare you, Nisha, but some people never wake up.
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  Some people never wake up. They why?
• 12:00
  They want to control you. Control is a narcissist attack.
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  The I, I, I I have videos on control.
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  I have longer videos on control. Minorc got married, but after
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  getting married for one year, he's obsessed with the gym,
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  running and pushing himself even when he's tired.
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  The new supply or wife isn't like this.
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  He will be 30. Yeah, they try to change it up
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  because the older you get, sometimes you feel like you're
• 12:21
  facing against the you running against the clock.
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  Now you want to fight the aging process.
• 12:24
  I just turned. I just turned 40 exactly a month
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  ago, July 14th. So I'm 40 now.
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  Took me 4 years to wake up. Yeah you took you might took you
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  4 years take somebody else 10 might take might take somebody
• 12:37
  else a couple of months. It really just depends y'all.
• 12:39
  I have a literal ton of Co parenting videos on my YouTube
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  channel. Just type in Co parenting with a
• 12:44
  narcissist on YouTube and my name behind it.
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  Something will pop up I promise you.
• 12:48
  Anyways, y'all, I got to hop off this thing real quick.
• 12:51
  My website for all my coaching calls, my courses, everything is
• 12:55
  available at mentalillness.net. Join my e-mail list.
• 12:59
  I'm about to send out some special promotions and things
• 13:01
  like that, Some discounts on my courses and whatnot.
• 13:04
  There's a discount on my course right now if you entered the
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  code. Mothers or fathers you want to
• 13:11
  come to? Hey, come to bye you enter the
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  code mothers or fathers on my YouTube channel go to my go to
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  fathers for 50% all of y'all you say goodbye bye bye bye bye
• 13:32
  goodbye bye anyways y'all y'all P hit that subscribe button if
• 13:35
  you haven't already and I will chat later peace.