Latest / Two Broke Chicks / Habits We Stole From Rich People

Transcript

Habits We Stole From Rich People · Two Broke Chicks

0:00
Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadagal Land Always was, always
0:04
Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
0:13
Speaker 2: Hey chicks, I'm out and this is two Broke checks
0:15
Speaker 2: to show that shares life lessons and tips to help
0:17
Speaker 2: make you rich in life. And today we have a
0:20
Speaker 2: fabulous little episode for you where we are going to
0:22
Speaker 2: be talking the habits we stole from rich people. We're
0:25
Speaker 2: talking money, we're talking friendships, We're talking Kiki Palma, you know,
0:30
Speaker 2: our favorite person in.
0:31
Speaker 3: The world, the ultimate inspo for every episode.
0:34
Speaker 2: Seriously, like, that's just our guiding light for every But
0:37
Speaker 2: before we get into the episode, of course, we have
0:39
Speaker 2: to discuss our obsessions of the week. So, Sally, how
0:44
Speaker 2: are you, how's your week and what are you obsessed with?
0:46
Speaker 1: I'm good, week has been good and my obsession of
0:49
Speaker 1: the week is I have the science for the perfect kiss?
0:54
Speaker 2: Should we practice?
0:55
Speaker 3: I know? And I'm like, and now for a tutorial?
0:58
Speaker 2: The Lord No, I've actually we've already had this conversation
1:01
Speaker 2: at the beach in Banawa where I explained to you
1:04
Speaker 2: it's kiss, kiss tongue. Now I think we're in Nie secually,
1:07
Speaker 2: I know so well, travel yeah, not tongue tongue kiss,
1:11
Speaker 2: kiss kiss tongue. But yeah, that's that's my formulae, scientific formula.
1:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
1:17
Speaker 1: But apparently increasing your kisses to six seconds in length
1:22
Speaker 1: is the optimal way to kiss.
1:24
Speaker 2: I've said that we are in a kissing recession way
1:28
Speaker 2: too much.
1:28
Speaker 3: We need to bring love. We are serious, it's very serious.
1:35
Speaker 2: We're in a kissing recession, are and I'm sick of it.
1:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I completely agree.
1:40
Speaker 1: So when I saw this, instantly obsessed because it's kind
1:43
Speaker 1: of preaching to the converted, but I'm here for it.
1:46
Speaker 1: And apparently increasing your kisses to six seconds is optimal
1:49
Speaker 1: according to clinical psychologists because that's the period that it
1:53
Speaker 1: would take for it to increase oxytocin the love hormone,
1:57
Speaker 1: but also to practice mindfulness, because I think you can
2:00
Speaker 1: still get oxytocin with a little from your love one,
2:03
Speaker 1: like a little peck.
2:04
Speaker 2: However, you can.
2:05
Speaker 4: Do that when you're kind of like busy and in between.
2:08
Speaker 2: I'm not a bird seed, like you know, like kiss me,
2:13
Speaker 2: kiss me, I want to be kissed.
2:18
Speaker 4: Yeah.
2:19
Speaker 1: So I think especially if you're in like a really
2:21
Speaker 1: busy period of your life, or if you're in like
2:24
Speaker 1: a long term relationship and maybe you don't make the
2:27
Speaker 1: time to like really smooch or make out, and you
2:30
Speaker 1: know you have like the kiss in the morning before
2:32
Speaker 1: you leave here and then the little pecks here and there.
2:36
Speaker 1: I reckon, let's up our game here, people, we've got
2:38
Speaker 1: KPIs and to me six seconds minimum actually and.
2:43
Speaker 2: Them not even enough. Actually, I've actually like, I actually
2:47
Speaker 2: think we even need to walk back the forehead kisses.
2:49
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, right here in tandem.
2:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a forehead kiss or a kiss on the
2:55
Speaker 2: cheek boring to me. Now, let's get in. It feels
2:58
Speaker 2: good though, but like unless you set your lips on
3:02
Speaker 2: my forehead for real six seconds, six seconds, my brain
3:08
Speaker 2: just went six to seven now, youthful.
3:10
Speaker 4: Six seven six session.
3:15
Speaker 3: We tried, We gave it a good crack, yeah now,
3:17
Speaker 3: and I.
3:18
Speaker 2: Felt like my knee twinge, I have my back hurt
3:22
Speaker 2: to take my but a mental yeah exactly.
3:26
Speaker 1: Fisherman's friends, Okay, what's your obsessions?
3:29
Speaker 2: Okay, my obsession I have two this week. One is
3:32
Speaker 2: a compliment that I saw in someone's comment section on
3:36
Speaker 2: TikTok that I was like, Wow, that is actually the
3:38
Speaker 2: best compliment I've ever heard, and I've never received it
3:40
Speaker 2: in my life. And I think my life's purpose now
3:42
Speaker 2: will be to receive this compliment. And it's basically a
3:45
Speaker 2: video of like some check on TikTok that was just
3:47
Speaker 2: loving her life, having the best summertime and was singing
3:50
Speaker 2: she looks really hot ten out of ten and someone
3:53
Speaker 2: in the comment said, you look hydrated.
3:57
Speaker 4: Wow? Right, that is a good compent.
3:59
Speaker 2: Isn't that a good compliment? Like I've always when you
4:02
Speaker 2: know how you get that like those conversation cards and it's like,
4:04
Speaker 2: what's the best compliment you've ever received? I've always said like, oh,
4:07
Speaker 2: you're inclusive or you're very nice. People, fuck that. I
4:10
Speaker 2: want to look hydrated. I don't give a about anyone. Yeah, yeah, no,
4:15
Speaker 2: fuck people. No, I'm kidding. Love that one. But yeah,
4:17
Speaker 2: how good is that as a compliment?
4:19
Speaker 4: Very good?
4:20
Speaker 1: It tells it's it's one word, but it's actually complimenting
4:24
Speaker 1: so much of your character.
4:25
Speaker 2: It's better than your glowing. Would you agree?
4:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, because glowing could be sweaty.
4:32
Speaker 2: It usually is, you know, you just the little girl.
4:38
Speaker 2: But yeah, I was like, wow, obsessed with that new
4:42
Speaker 2: life purpose unlocked? Fabulous for me.
4:45
Speaker 4: Run to the comments, Hicks, you know what to do?
4:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, please can everyone like, go comment on a sniff.
4:50
Speaker 2: It's saying I look hydrated, even if I look like
4:53
Speaker 2: dusty and dry as fork. Okay, But then my second
4:56
Speaker 2: obsession of the week is I saw that a recent
4:59
Speaker 2: four article has just revealed the now new average cost
5:03
Speaker 2: of date. And it's in USD by the way, but
5:07
Speaker 2: it's double. Give it to the next person. It now
5:12
Speaker 2: costs on average one hundred and eighty nine dollars to
5:15
Speaker 2: go on a date. It's now called date flation.
5:19
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I know.
5:21
Speaker 2: But I was thinking about this and I was like,
5:23
Speaker 2: you know what, I don't think it's that far off. Yeah, No,
5:26
Speaker 2: that kind of sounds like when I've been thinking of
5:29
Speaker 2: like dates I've just recently gone on. I'm like, yeah,
5:31
Speaker 2: they're really expensive, like if you're doing like a full
5:35
Speaker 2: proper date. But apparently the millennials are spending on average
5:38
Speaker 2: two hundred and fifty two dollars per date.
5:41
Speaker 4: What are we buying?
5:42
Speaker 2: What are we where are we going? Can I come?
5:44
Speaker 4: That's just a popcorn at the movie?
5:45
Speaker 3: Seriously, you want to popcorn and a drink fifty dollars?
5:49
Speaker 2: Hooray? No, I went to the movies recently. The food
5:51
Speaker 2: was more than the movie ticket.
5:52
Speaker 3: Yeah.
5:53
Speaker 2: The movie ticket was sixteen dollars, the food five hundred. Yeah,
5:55
Speaker 2: I think that's you're kidneying you firstborn, thank you.
5:58
Speaker 4: Fuck it tastes good.
5:58
Speaker 1: Though.
5:59
Speaker 2: Now that we've ran, we've raved, and we've kissed, let's
6:03
Speaker 2: get into the Episode's okay. Have a number one that
6:07
Speaker 2: we stole from rich people is to get better at
6:10
Speaker 2: saying no before you get better at doing more. And
6:14
Speaker 2: so I've stolen this from Oprah Winfrey, the Big O,
6:19
Speaker 2: if you will, there's two of those in my life.
6:20
Speaker 1: She's one of them, equally as important each other, equally
6:25
Speaker 1: as present in my life, you know, the Big O.
6:29
Speaker 2: But Oprah has written that she was forty before she
6:31
Speaker 2: learned to say no, and like, I'm thirty and I
6:36
Speaker 2: feel like it's still a work in progress. Yeah, I
6:41
Speaker 2: think that some people probably never Yeah. So before then,
6:47
Speaker 2: she describes automatically agreeing to request because she wanted to
6:50
Speaker 2: be dependable and liked. And I think these are two
6:55
Speaker 2: things that like, of course, if someone's like, if someone
7:00
Speaker 2: described you as dependable, how would you feel like I'd
7:02
Speaker 2: be like gassed?
7:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I'd.
7:05
Speaker 2: Feel like I was on cloud nine. And eventually she
7:09
Speaker 2: started interrogating why she was saying yes rather than like
7:15
Speaker 2: treating no as the default, like rather than just like
7:19
Speaker 2: why was she always available and obviously came to the
7:22
Speaker 2: conclusion she was like, well, it's because I want to
7:26
Speaker 2: constantly be Like it comes down to, obviously the fabulous
7:29
Speaker 2: term that we all know well in love is a
7:31
Speaker 2: people pleasing Yeah.
7:33
Speaker 3: And I do especially.
7:35
Speaker 2: Think now we're so obsessed with doing everything.
7:39
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
7:43
Speaker 1: I think as women especially we never say no, or
7:48
Speaker 1: we almost never say no, like we feel the responsibility
7:50
Speaker 1: to pick up other people's slack or always be available,
7:55
Speaker 1: and like not even just not saying no, but saying
7:58
Speaker 1: yes when we haven't even been asked the question.
8:00
Speaker 4: Like just volunteering, Well.
8:02
Speaker 2: I have actually a stat for you for that, And
8:05
Speaker 2: research published in the American Economic Review found women disproportionally
8:10
Speaker 2: volunteer for, get asked to do, and accept non promotional tasks.
8:16
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, so yeah, you're exactly right. Like women are
8:20
Speaker 2: very much more putting their hand up being like, oh
8:22
Speaker 2: do that like and volunteering themselves for things that you
8:26
Speaker 2: know don't necessarily benefit them. And it's basically like work
8:33
Speaker 2: that needs doing but does little to advance women's career.
8:38
Speaker 2: So in the experiments, women volunteered about forty eight percent
8:42
Speaker 2: more often, we're forty four percent more likely to be asked,
8:46
Speaker 2: and we're roughly fifty percent more likely to say yes
8:49
Speaker 2: when asked.
8:50
Speaker 4: Yeah.
8:51
Speaker 1: Well, even if you think back, like when we've worked
8:54
Speaker 1: in office jobs and stuff, like, even if it was
8:57
Speaker 1: you know, the people who were organizing like the group
9:00
Speaker 1: birthday present for friends, or you know, organizing like a
9:06
Speaker 1: drink so Friday drinks or something someone's birthday, it was
9:11
Speaker 1: very Yeah, that sort of emotional labor was very often,
9:16
Speaker 1: in my experience, at least organized by a woman.
9:19
Speaker 3: And like, that's a.
9:20
Speaker 1: Thankless kind of job, or at least it's not. It's
9:24
Speaker 1: not necessarily going to propel you in the workplace. But
9:27
Speaker 1: I think people do it because one they feel the
9:31
Speaker 1: need to like, oh, well, it's someone's birthday.
9:33
Speaker 2: So it was just like yeah, but sometimes it's a
9:36
Speaker 2: nice thing to do for someone.
9:39
Speaker 3: It's in there. Yeah, And I'm not saying that that's
9:42
Speaker 3: a bad.
9:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, like to want to go an thing, to do things,
9:45
Speaker 1: but to do it for every single person and to
9:48
Speaker 1: never sort of let somebody else pick up the slack
9:52
Speaker 1: or take on that responsibility.
9:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think women often fall victim to that.
9:57
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, the latest abs time you start it says
10:00
Speaker 2: Australian women average four hours and fifty three minutes of
10:03
Speaker 2: unpaid work a day, compared to three hours and fifty
10:06
Speaker 2: two minutes for men. And in Australia we've also just
10:09
Speaker 2: had the census which had the question of you know,
10:13
Speaker 2: how much unpaid work and labor do you do each
10:16
Speaker 2: week for your household.
10:18
Speaker 1: I'll be interested to see those updated stats. And I
10:21
Speaker 1: also saw like a couple of tiktoks of people filling
10:24
Speaker 1: out their male partner's census and then people were like,
10:29
Speaker 1: for fuck's sake, not like the.
10:30
Speaker 4: Women even picking up the EMO expensus.
10:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm very interested to see what
10:38
Speaker 2: the updated results of that are. But essentially, the habit
10:43
Speaker 2: to steal here is to stop treating availability as like
10:48
Speaker 2: something that's free and something easy that you can just
10:51
Speaker 2: give away, Like your availability is such a virtue, like
10:56
Speaker 2: it's so special, and how you spend your time is
11:00
Speaker 2: how you spend your life. Yeah, you know, like you
11:03
Speaker 2: might you may think like, oh, you know, it's only
11:06
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes of my day every day, but times that
11:09
Speaker 2: by three hundred and sixty five days a year, times
11:11
Speaker 2: by eighty years, times by five billion by the universe. Yeah.
11:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so interesting because there's also that quote from
11:20
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift speaking of rich people, which is very similar,
11:24
Speaker 1: and it was I'm paraphrasing here, but it's something like,
11:27
Speaker 1: treat your time as a luxury and it's not available
11:31
Speaker 1: and not everybody can afford it.
11:32
Speaker 3: Yeah.
11:33
Speaker 2: Well, we've said this on the pod quite a number
11:35
Speaker 2: of times, but the two most expensive things you own
11:38
Speaker 2: is your time and your attention. And that is why
11:42
Speaker 2: every single marketing and brand and video and television and
11:47
Speaker 2: billboard is biting and cloring for your attention to be
11:52
Speaker 2: like no, no, no, look here, look here, look here,
11:54
Speaker 2: don't go like even now, like social media apps, if
11:57
Speaker 2: you click a link, you don't leave the app. You
11:59
Speaker 2: stay in the app, and you shop in the app,
12:01
Speaker 2: and then when you're done, oh look you're back in Instagram,
12:04
Speaker 2: you're back in TikTok. You never even left.
12:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, so seamless.
12:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like that's the thing is wherever your
12:10
Speaker 2: attention is, that's where money is made. So if you're
12:14
Speaker 2: not giving your attention and your time away for free.
12:17
Speaker 2: You're not making other people money, You're making yourself money
12:19
Speaker 2: because your attention, your time is on you.
12:28
Speaker 1: Moving on to habit number two, which is use the
12:31
Speaker 1: three currencies rule, which is stolen from Benjamin Franklin, one
12:36
Speaker 1: of the founding fathers.
12:38
Speaker 3: Of the.
12:40
Speaker 1: But I do think it's interesting because it kind of
12:42
Speaker 1: relates to that last point that we were making about
12:45
Speaker 1: how your time is one of the most valuable currencies.
12:48
Speaker 4: So you can use this rule or.
12:51
Speaker 1: This kind of life lesson or habit when you're deciding
12:54
Speaker 1: if you should buy something, ask yourself how much it
12:58
Speaker 1: will cost with three currency ool.
13:00
Speaker 2: I like this. I like this a lot.
13:04
Speaker 1: The first one is time because as Benjamin Franklin said,
13:08
Speaker 1: as Benji Boy, as Benji said said, time is money.
13:12
Speaker 2: That was him, not here, yeah Franklin. Yeah, let's get
13:17
Speaker 2: of a TikTok credit or something up on the you knowadah,
13:21
Speaker 2: and then I feel like I'm going to win a
13:22
Speaker 2: trivia question in the future now because of this.
13:25
Speaker 4: It's a good one.
13:25
Speaker 2: Hey, I'm going to be like, I'll be like, that's me.
13:31
Speaker 2: I know that answer.
13:32
Speaker 1: Sorry, as you were literally, the second currency is attention
13:36
Speaker 1: and the third currency is energy.
13:39
Speaker 2: Let's lock in on that third one will tell me. Yeah.
13:42
Speaker 1: Absolutely, So when you are thinking about purchasing something, you
13:47
Speaker 1: should really be thinking about how many hours of work.
13:49
Speaker 4: Will you need to pay for that purchase.
13:51
Speaker 1: That's always a very very good distinguished It's so sobering.
13:56
Speaker 1: It is so sobering when you're like, this is how
13:59
Speaker 1: many hours I have worked or will have to work
14:03
Speaker 1: to get this purpose?
14:04
Speaker 2: You know what? That will stop you from spending so
14:06
Speaker 2: much money on.
14:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's not worth.
14:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, like literally, the delivery fee is like fucking a kidney.
14:16
Speaker 4: Yeah. Absolutely.
14:18
Speaker 1: And the other part of that question is will the
14:22
Speaker 1: purchase add more decisions and maintenance to your workload?
14:27
Speaker 3: Yeah?
14:27
Speaker 2: So like will the purchase make your life easier or
14:30
Speaker 2: will the purchase make your life harder?
14:31
Speaker 3: Is that what that's saying, Yeah, essentially.
14:34
Speaker 1: And then the final part is I guess the opposite
14:36
Speaker 1: of that, does it make your life easier or more chaotic?
14:40
Speaker 1: If your purchase costs three hundred dollars but it's saving
14:43
Speaker 1: you ten or more hours stress, then that's building wealth
14:47
Speaker 1: for example.
14:48
Speaker 3: So there are.
14:49
Speaker 1: Times when spending money on something that will save you
14:53
Speaker 1: time in the future is definitely worth it.
14:55
Speaker 4: And it's worth paying that upfront costs.
14:58
Speaker 2: Well, there's even just like products that save you money
15:01
Speaker 2: in the future as well, Like they can cost like
15:03
Speaker 2: a thousand, like a coffee machine easiest example that's like
15:07
Speaker 2: that costs you know, can cost nine hundred dollars six
15:09
Speaker 2: hundred dollars up front on some of those like more
15:12
Speaker 2: bougier ones, but over time it ends up saving you
15:14
Speaker 2: like two thousand dollars plus.
15:16
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
15:17
Speaker 1: Whereas on the opposite side, if you're spending three hundred
15:20
Speaker 1: dollars on something and then it's giving you five micro
15:22
Speaker 1: tasks that add to your day of stuff that like
15:25
Speaker 1: you don't enjoy doing, or you weren't planning on doing anyway,
15:29
Speaker 1: or is not really adding any extra value to your life,
15:32
Speaker 1: then that's cost you more money, which I think is
15:35
Speaker 1: also another interesting thing like that rich or successful people
15:40
Speaker 1: also look at money, is that sometimes they do look
15:42
Speaker 1: at it as an investment. So like whether it is
15:46
Speaker 1: you know, people who invest in designer handbags knowing that
15:50
Speaker 1: they're going to be selling them down the line, or
15:51
Speaker 1: people who invest in training courses and things for their career,
15:56
Speaker 1: like they're looking at it as an investment for the
15:59
Speaker 1: long term and thinking of your purchases in that way,
16:04
Speaker 1: like how much how many hours of work have I
16:07
Speaker 1: had to do to pay for this purchase? But also
16:10
Speaker 1: how is it going to impact my time and my
16:13
Speaker 1: energy and those two currencies in the future, Like is
16:16
Speaker 1: it going to make my life easier or is it
16:18
Speaker 1: going to make my life harder in the long run.
16:22
Speaker 1: The habit to steal is consider how purchases add value
16:25
Speaker 1: to your life before buying them.
16:27
Speaker 2: Habit number three is to create a mistake journal and
16:32
Speaker 2: proof of progress folder or like a brag folder. So
16:38
Speaker 2: this is stolen from Sarah Blakey, who is the founder
16:40
Speaker 2: of spanks. Ah. Yeah, So she has a very interesting backstory,
16:48
Speaker 2: like she worked for quite like she didn't kind of
16:50
Speaker 2: go all in on her business as well when she
16:52
Speaker 2: was first starting out, like in the kind of rough
16:56
Speaker 2: bits and bobs that I learned before this episode, like
17:00
Speaker 2: she was, you know, worked her office job for quite
17:03
Speaker 2: a while before going all in on her business, which
17:06
Speaker 2: I also thought was quite interesting because these days I
17:08
Speaker 2: feel like we see a lot of advice being like
17:12
Speaker 2: do it all, like go all in, put all your
17:14
Speaker 2: focus and growing your business, which like I also don't
17:16
Speaker 2: know if I necessarily agree with and like it was
17:18
Speaker 2: quite refreshing to kind of see that as a storyline
17:22
Speaker 2: for her.
17:23
Speaker 3: I love that I called her life a storyline.
17:25
Speaker 2: Ah. But so she grew up in a family where
17:29
Speaker 2: her dad would ask at the dinner table. She wrote
17:32
Speaker 2: about this in her book, at the dinner table, what
17:34
Speaker 2: did you fail it this week? Right? And if she
17:38
Speaker 2: hadn't failed at anything, he would kind of be like
17:40
Speaker 2: disappoint it, he'd be like, oh, okay, me yeah. And
17:44
Speaker 2: the lesson was that failure wasn't something to be embarrassed about.
17:48
Speaker 2: It was evidence that you were actually trying. Which I
17:52
Speaker 2: just loved that because I do like think we are
17:55
Speaker 2: so we really don't want to make a mistake. We
17:57
Speaker 2: really don't. We're very scared of trying anything, knew, because
18:00
Speaker 2: we're very scared of failing and failing publicly. And I
18:05
Speaker 2: do think, you know, we've acknowledged that here and there,
18:08
Speaker 2: but it's like, let's be a little bit more cringe, Like,
18:11
Speaker 2: let's embarrass ourselves a little bit more, and let's put
18:13
Speaker 2: ourselves out there, because if you don't make a mistake,
18:15
Speaker 2: you never really learn any life lessons along the way either.
18:19
Speaker 1: And acknowledging those mistakes is also you addressing what you
18:23
Speaker 1: learn and what you can do better next time.
18:25
Speaker 2: Exactly. This is the philosophy I'm stealing is basically turning
18:29
Speaker 2: it into like a mistake journal, And it's not to
18:33
Speaker 2: be like boo, you dumb, fuck you ruin everything you
18:38
Speaker 2: ruin nombal edge.
18:40
Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, cool, let's look back on all
18:41
Speaker 1: the things you fucked up this week.
18:43
Speaker 4: Yeah that's not the end.
18:45
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think that's really really important in going
18:48
Speaker 2: into this exercise is don't do it if you're sad,
18:51
Speaker 2: don't do it if you're tired, don't do it when
18:53
Speaker 2: you when you're in a bad mood. Like it's more
18:56
Speaker 2: about personal like reflection and be like, Okay, what didn't
19:01
Speaker 2: necessarily go right this week and why did that happen?
19:04
Speaker 2: And how can I improve on it in the future.
19:07
Speaker 2: If it's not going to be perfect in the future either,
19:09
Speaker 2: like you might try it again and then there's a
19:11
Speaker 2: different type of thing that didn't go right and then
19:13
Speaker 2: you learn from that. So the mistake journal is basically
19:17
Speaker 2: your place to record errors, work out their causes, and
19:19
Speaker 2: convert them into lessons to avoid you repeating the same
19:22
Speaker 2: mistakes in the future, and really again, making mistakes is
19:26
Speaker 2: not a bad thing. It's important to try new things
19:30
Speaker 2: and you know, realize that you're not always going to succeed.
19:34
Speaker 2: There are so many things that we've tried, even in
19:36
Speaker 2: this business that have been flopped TEENA boots and I
19:40
Speaker 2: was sitting there going, this is going to hit, this
19:42
Speaker 2: is going to slay.
19:43
Speaker 1: And that you've put like a lot of time and
19:45
Speaker 1: energy and care into and like we've spoken about this
19:50
Speaker 1: on the podcast before, I think that, yeah, that you
19:54
Speaker 1: can put a lot of time and energy into something
19:57
Speaker 1: and it can be the same and one situationation can
20:00
Speaker 1: fail and one can succeed. Yeah.
20:02
Speaker 2: The Alan Menkin a man can lesson Alan Mankin theory.
20:08
Speaker 2: Yeah that he was like, you know the box office
20:11
Speaker 2: hits like The Little Mermaid and Aladdin. I tried as
20:14
Speaker 2: much on those as I tried to the ones that
20:17
Speaker 2: didn't do as well, like the Hunchback Notre Dame. Like
20:21
Speaker 2: the effort doesn't like diminish just because something didn't do well. Yeah,
20:28
Speaker 2: So a typical entry in your mistake journal could look
20:30
Speaker 2: like the mistake you made, the reason it happened, the
20:34
Speaker 2: new solution or behavior that you'll take moving forward, which
20:38
Speaker 2: that might not even be the correct one, you know,
20:40
Speaker 2: it's it's a hypothesis really at the end of the day,
20:42
Speaker 2: science lesson to take from the experience and an example
20:47
Speaker 2: of a similar situation where this lesson could apply in
20:49
Speaker 2: the future. And I think that actually, like for me personally,
20:54
Speaker 2: that would really actually make me not so hard on myself.
20:58
Speaker 2: Like you could look at it and be like, oh,
21:00
Speaker 2: this will just make you feel like down about yourself.
21:02
Speaker 2: But for me personally doing that, I'd be like, Okay,
21:05
Speaker 2: I actually took action.
21:06
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing is that it automatically puts
21:09
Speaker 1: you on the front foot and rather than spiraling on
21:13
Speaker 1: the things that went wrong and focusing on the things
21:16
Speaker 1: that maybe you didn't do right or didn't work out
21:19
Speaker 1: as you plan, you're like, no, I'm actually, like you said,
21:22
Speaker 1: being proactive and I care about my future and I'm
21:24
Speaker 1: putting effort in and that automatically makes you feel good.
21:28
Speaker 2: One thousand percent. But it's also very important to do
21:31
Speaker 2: the flip side of that and to create a brag folder.
21:35
Speaker 2: And I love this one even more. Obviously this one's
21:40
Speaker 2: the fun one't but like the mistake journal is nothing
21:44
Speaker 2: if you're not also celebrating your wins, and that is
21:48
Speaker 2: probably something that we don't do enough. Like, just in general,
21:51
Speaker 2: it's very easy to be like, oh, I've I fucked
21:54
Speaker 2: this up, I forgot to send this email, I spilled
21:57
Speaker 2: coffee on everyone in the meeting, or whatever it is. Right,
22:01
Speaker 2: It's very easy to focus on those things versus like, oh,
22:04
Speaker 2: you know, like I actually had a really good idea
22:06
Speaker 2: today in this or whatever it is.
22:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have a negativity bias a lot of the time.
22:11
Speaker 1: It's really easy to dwell on the things that we've
22:13
Speaker 1: done wrong instead of not only the things that we've
22:16
Speaker 1: done well, but even just the things that we've done okay, yeah.
22:19
Speaker 3: Like how much you actually have just done?
22:22
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's good enough as well. Lot of the time.
22:25
Speaker 2: So the proof of progress folder or like the brag
22:28
Speaker 2: folders designed to help you remember wins. It's a collection
22:31
Speaker 2: of your achievements, praises, compliments you've received over time. So like,
22:36
Speaker 2: let's say, for example, your boss, you know, gives you
22:39
Speaker 2: really good feedback about a project you worked on. Screenshot
22:42
Speaker 2: that in the bag folder. Yeah, you know, if you
22:46
Speaker 2: increase sales at your job by twenty percent, screenshot that
22:50
Speaker 2: report in the folder yeah, you know, if your friend
22:54
Speaker 2: texts you on the weekend saying, thanks so much for
22:56
Speaker 2: such a fun weekend. I had the best time. I'm
22:58
Speaker 2: so hungover, but wow, memories for life.
23:01
Speaker 4: Love those texts.
23:02
Speaker 2: Love those texts for you. It's me texting you going
23:05
Speaker 2: signs of life and I just don't and you don't reply. Yeah,
23:12
Speaker 2: this week it was me calling you going my head
23:14
Speaker 2: hurdy for fifteen minutes. We're just we're going back and forth,
23:19
Speaker 2: going my head hurdy, my head hurdy. But yeah, so
23:24
Speaker 2: I also want people to make sure that they focus
23:26
Speaker 2: on creating this fold and not just surrounded on Workcicely, Yeah,
23:31
Speaker 2: you are so much more success than simply what you
23:36
Speaker 2: do between the hours of nine to five or twelve
23:40
Speaker 2: to six or sixth to five, what you shift, whatever
23:43
Speaker 2: you shift, Like you're a lot more Like, yes, work
23:46
Speaker 2: contributes to society and your purpose and your usefulness, but
23:50
Speaker 2: also you're so much more than that. Like you know,
23:53
Speaker 2: you calling a friend for an hour that morning or
23:55
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes that morning just to talk to them and
23:57
Speaker 2: how their day was, Like, that's contributing that deserves to
24:01
Speaker 2: be in a brag folder. You're supporting people and caring
24:04
Speaker 2: for people deserves to be in a BRAAG folder as well.
24:07
Speaker 2: And so the reason this is also incredibly good is
24:11
Speaker 2: because it helps to boost your confidence, so it accurately
24:15
Speaker 2: reflects on your progress, maintains your motivation with your goals.
24:18
Speaker 2: And research suggests that compliments satisfied too core emotional human needs,
24:25
Speaker 2: value and appreciation. Both these needs being fulfilled results in
24:30
Speaker 2: a more engaged, hard working, and high performing individual. But
24:34
Speaker 2: I think what's cool about this is that you're giving
24:36
Speaker 2: that to yourself.
24:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, You're not waiting for other people to compliment you
24:40
Speaker 1: or you're not relying on that external validation.
24:42
Speaker 2: Yeah. Like I love, love love being told that good job.
24:48
Speaker 2: You know, like when you know, we were working in
24:50
Speaker 2: our full time roles, like if a manager was like, yeah,
24:52
Speaker 2: you did a really good job. Gast gassed, so happy,
24:57
Speaker 2: so happy. But like that the thing is if you
25:00
Speaker 2: don't get like if I didn't get like a you know,
25:03
Speaker 2: if I gave them a project or handed it in
25:05
Speaker 2: and they're like, okay, thank you, and I was like, yeah,
25:08
Speaker 2: tell me I did a good job.
25:10
Speaker 4: Tell me I'm a good girl.
25:11
Speaker 2: Like that, Yeah, tell me I'm a good year. Like
25:13
Speaker 2: That's the thing is, that's not good, Like I can't
25:18
Speaker 2: rely on people to tell me I did a good job,
25:20
Speaker 2: because then I'm just constantly relying on other people for
25:23
Speaker 2: value and appreciation. And yeah, it's very important to still
25:27
Speaker 2: feel like you have that from the relationships you have
25:29
Speaker 2: in your life. But if that's the only way you're
25:31
Speaker 2: going to get it and you can't get it from yourself,
25:33
Speaker 2: hang up the boots, you know. So that's why I
25:37
Speaker 2: really like this. And I feel like I definitely was
25:39
Speaker 2: doing it when I when we worked like full time
25:43
Speaker 2: in our office jobs, and I feel like I need
25:45
Speaker 2: to and we were doing it a little bit a
25:46
Speaker 2: couple of years ago, like we would screenshot like nice mess. Yeah,
25:51
Speaker 2: but I'm like, I really want to get back into.
25:53
Speaker 4: An agorithm of doing that.
25:55
Speaker 2: I think it's definitely a good habit. So the habit
25:58
Speaker 2: to steal here is to acknowledge not only your lessons
26:02
Speaker 2: but also your wins. Love that DJ Callen what I
26:10
Speaker 2: do with wed. I love that Zong Okay.
26:20
Speaker 1: Habit number four distribution and the power of visibility. And
26:25
Speaker 1: this habit was stolen from Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice
26:30
Speaker 1: very on brand for you, I know, right, So yeah,
26:33
Speaker 1: this is based on Victoria Beckham's idea of creating positive
26:37
Speaker 1: energy and creative visualization, which I'm like, that is so her,
26:42
Speaker 1: Like I can really see that aligning with her.
26:45
Speaker 2: Who's your favorite spice Girl? Jerry?
26:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, Who's yours? It says a lot about a person
26:52
Speaker 4: I reckon, does it? I think?
26:53
Speaker 2: So It's like, ohll now I'm nervous.
26:56
Speaker 4: It's giving star sign energy.
26:58
Speaker 3: Like who your favorite spice girl is?
27:00
Speaker 1: Is? I? Oh yeah, Melb, Yeah, yeah, I love her,
27:05
Speaker 1: love them all. You could have given me any answer
27:07
Speaker 1: and I would have been like, yeah, yeah, love scary
27:10
Speaker 1: spice yacon icon. I also just loved her style, Yeah,
27:15
Speaker 1: amazing and like makeup.
27:19
Speaker 4: I just need a Spice Girls reunion yesterday. But who
27:22
Speaker 4: doesn't anyway, So Vicky B.
27:26
Speaker 1: She's also been really vocal about learning more and working
27:29
Speaker 1: out how she can help others and make a difference
27:32
Speaker 1: through her work, and a main goal here is to
27:35
Speaker 1: become obsessed with distribution. So basically, with this habit, learning
27:41
Speaker 1: is only the first piece of the puzzle, the first step,
27:46
Speaker 1: and then once you've learned something, the next step is
27:49
Speaker 1: to share it. Yeah, which I thought was quite interesting
27:54
Speaker 1: and maybe not something that a lot of us would
27:57
Speaker 1: consider doing unless you're in like you know, maybe a
28:00
Speaker 1: manager role.
28:01
Speaker 3: Or if you're a teacher or something like that.
28:04
Speaker 4: Like a lot of the time when we're learning.
28:07
Speaker 3: Something or upskilling, it's just for our own.
28:09
Speaker 1: Benefit, whereas I thought that this next step was like
28:12
Speaker 1: an interesting thing that a lot of us don't consider.
28:15
Speaker 1: So the central idea here is that opportunities come to
28:20
Speaker 1: visible people. So if you want to be seen, it's
28:24
Speaker 1: important to distribute your skills and knowledge. Okay, yeah, so
28:29
Speaker 1: it kind of works in a way where not only
28:32
Speaker 1: are you helping other people, but also like if you're
28:36
Speaker 1: in a work scenario, for example, and you're in a
28:40
Speaker 1: meeting and you're like, oh, actually, I read this study
28:42
Speaker 1: that says x y Z or I ran this report
28:45
Speaker 1: and I found this it's a really good way to
28:48
Speaker 1: communicate I guess, like your value in the business or
28:52
Speaker 1: what you've learned, which I think sometimes like, well, I know,
28:57
Speaker 1: in our old job, I would sometimes be scared to
29:02
Speaker 1: do that because I wouldn't want to seem like I
29:04
Speaker 1: was like being a know it all, or I'd be like, oh,
29:06
Speaker 1: what if like the learning that I got from that
29:09
Speaker 1: wasn't the right one.
29:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would always be very like even nervous just
29:12
Speaker 2: to ask questions. Like you know, when you'd be at
29:14
Speaker 2: like a talk or a presentation, they'd be like, any questions,
29:16
Speaker 2: and I would have a question. I'd even just be
29:18
Speaker 2: scared to be like to ask questions. I'm like, what
29:21
Speaker 2: if it's a dumb question.
29:22
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, Or like what if it's a question.
29:25
Speaker 1: That maybe was kind of already answered and I just
29:28
Speaker 1: didn't quite understand or I don't have the right take.
29:31
Speaker 1: But it's that really important thing as well, that if
29:34
Speaker 1: you have a question, there's probably.
29:36
Speaker 4: A bunch of other people who have that same question.
29:39
Speaker 1: But I think it also shows that whether or not
29:41
Speaker 1: you're sharing something that you've learned or you are asking
29:44
Speaker 1: a question because you don't know, it shows that you're engaged.
29:47
Speaker 1: And that's whether you're at work or even just at
29:50
Speaker 1: drinks with your friends, you know, like actually engaging in
29:52
Speaker 1: conversation and similar to your point on like your brag
29:58
Speaker 1: your bag folder and really collating and celebrating those wins.
30:05
Speaker 1: Doing that makes you more confident in the long run
30:08
Speaker 1: as well, and also encourages others to be comfortable with
30:11
Speaker 1: sharing things with you, because if you show that vulnerability,
30:17
Speaker 1: or like if you show that vulnerability, if you're asking
30:20
Speaker 1: a question or if you're sharing like something that you've
30:23
Speaker 1: learned from a mistake, that encourages other people to do
30:27
Speaker 1: the same as well with you, and that also can
30:29
Speaker 1: boost their confidence too. Which I think is an amazing
30:33
Speaker 1: thing about so many of these lessons is that or
30:36
Speaker 1: so many of these habits is that they don't just
30:38
Speaker 1: benefit you, they benefit the people around you, which I think.
30:41
Speaker 4: Is so important.
30:44
Speaker 1: And the key here is to ensure that you're communicating
30:47
Speaker 1: with clarity and not just making noise, like not just.
30:51
Speaker 2: You know, be like I'm so smart, yeah.
30:53
Speaker 1: Exactly, So not necessarily just like posting for the sake
30:57
Speaker 1: of posting, or talking for the sake of talking.
30:59
Speaker 4: I mean, like, I think there's space.
31:01
Speaker 1: For those things sometimes when it's just like a good yeah,
31:03
Speaker 1: a good yap and just being silly, funny haha. But
31:07
Speaker 1: I guess the best way to go about this is
31:09
Speaker 1: to think about like the value that you would be
31:13
Speaker 1: bringing to yourself and maybe to others by either sharing
31:16
Speaker 1: something that you've learned or contributing, and not just like
31:20
Speaker 1: keeping the things that you've learned to yourself, you know,
31:24
Speaker 1: So the best way to go about this is to
31:27
Speaker 1: write about what you've learned or experienced.
31:30
Speaker 3: You could share it online or like just when you're
31:32
Speaker 3: like chatting.
31:33
Speaker 1: With friends and sharing things that you've learned in conversation,
31:37
Speaker 1: or like we share we send each other like articles
31:40
Speaker 1: or posts and things all the time that we've seen online,
31:42
Speaker 1: being like, oh, look at this like fun fact or
31:45
Speaker 1: I feel like that is something that we often do
31:46
Speaker 1: in our conversations with like drinks with friends, yeah, which
31:51
Speaker 1: I think is also helpful when you feel like maybe
31:55
Speaker 1: you're stuck in that catch up loop with friends and
31:58
Speaker 1: you're just being like.
31:58
Speaker 2: How's work, How's this?
32:00
Speaker 4: How's that?
32:01
Speaker 1: And you're like busy, busy, and you're like, actually, I
32:04
Speaker 1: saw this fun fact that all of theirs.
32:06
Speaker 3: Can blah blah blah.
32:07
Speaker 1: Like doing stuff like that doesn't have to always be
32:09
Speaker 1: like because the value that you're bringing to that situation
32:13
Speaker 1: is just like fun and whimsy and an opportunity to
32:18
Speaker 1: like bond with people beyond maybe topics of conversation then you.
32:21
Speaker 2: Ordinarily would have. I was watching the new episodes of
32:24
Speaker 2: ted Lasso, and he's catching up with the characters that
32:26
Speaker 2: he hasn't seen in a while, and when He's like, Okay, like,
32:30
Speaker 2: top three things that have happened to you in the
32:32
Speaker 2: last couple of years that can't relate to work.
32:34
Speaker 3: Ooh, I love that.
32:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so like they answer like, oh, my new
32:40
Speaker 2: favorite color change from pink to green. It was like
32:43
Speaker 2: one of the answers I.
32:45
Speaker 1: Know, right, your favorite color changing is like you changing
32:48
Speaker 1: your favorite spice girl.
32:50
Speaker 2: But that's a big moment. We need like a full
32:52
Speaker 2: sub stack on that.
32:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, I agree, I like that.
32:58
Speaker 4: Yeah.
32:58
Speaker 2: So what's the habit to steal?
33:00
Speaker 4: So the habit to steal.
33:01
Speaker 1: Is always strive to learn and share your lessons with others.
33:06
Speaker 3: Okay.
33:06
Speaker 2: Our final habit to steal for the episode Save the
33:11
Speaker 2: Best of your Last absolutely is to live below your means.
33:15
Speaker 2: Stolen from point of our Hearts Kiki Palmer. So this
33:20
Speaker 2: one obvious sounds very obvious, right, It's like, don't spend
33:23
Speaker 2: more than you earn, and like, I feel like I've
33:25
Speaker 2: heard that lesson my whole life. But it's very difficult
33:30
Speaker 2: for it to sink in, especially when we, you know,
33:32
Speaker 2: are attached to algorithms that constantly push for different versions
33:38
Speaker 2: of success and different versions of like wealth or richness.
33:43
Speaker 1: You know, I think people can also take that quote
33:45
Speaker 1: quite literally. It's like, not it doesn't necessarily mean that
33:49
Speaker 1: you're always spending into the minuses, like it can mean, well,
33:54
Speaker 1: you'll elaborate.
33:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, so rich people don't need to look rich. Pikky
34:00
Speaker 2: Palmer has spoken openly about deliberately living below her means,
34:05
Speaker 2: saying that even if she had like a million dollars,
34:08
Speaker 2: she'd still be spending less. So her quote was living
34:11
Speaker 2: below my means is incredibly important to me. If I
34:14
Speaker 2: have one million in my pocket, my rent is going
34:16
Speaker 2: to be fifteen hundred dollars. And I think it's such
34:20
Speaker 2: like a really important note because we've spoken about lifestyle
34:24
Speaker 2: creep on the show before. It is like, you know,
34:26
Speaker 2: as you start working more, as you own more money,
34:28
Speaker 2: your expenses can creep up because you start spending more
34:31
Speaker 2: money as you're earning more money. But that doesn't necessarily
34:34
Speaker 2: need to be the case. There's something we can steal
34:36
Speaker 2: from that, because every time your income increases, there's pressure
34:40
Speaker 2: to make sure everyone can kind of see it increase too,
34:44
Speaker 2: like you kind of want to show your success. But
34:48
Speaker 2: a lot of the time that just comes through material possessions,
34:53
Speaker 2: you know, and it's when you kind of end up
34:56
Speaker 2: falling into this toxic cycle of always needing you know,
34:59
Speaker 2: the li latest car or the trending designer handbag, a
35:03
Speaker 2: flashy apartment, or like a bougie holiday. And how much
35:07
Speaker 2: of this is like for your actual happiness or for
35:11
Speaker 2: like your Instagram feed. Yeah, you know, there was a
35:14
Speaker 2: really interesting post recently I saw online talking about, you know,
35:18
Speaker 2: how everyone's travel itineraries are starting to look the same
35:21
Speaker 2: and is it because you want culture or content?
35:24
Speaker 3: Yeah?
35:24
Speaker 4: So true.
35:25
Speaker 2: And it was, you know, talking about how we're all
35:27
Speaker 2: kind of getting the same pitches because we're all you know,
35:31
Speaker 2: And I've done this too, Like I've been like, oh,
35:34
Speaker 2: that's a good pick, I'll save that for inspo on
35:36
Speaker 2: my holiday, and then it's like, well then do we
35:40
Speaker 2: do we have our holiday or do we have the holiday?
35:42
Speaker 2: The Internet is collectively shared. That's not to say that
35:45
Speaker 2: you can't look at like a cute photo on Pinterest
35:47
Speaker 2: in front of the Eiffel Tower and be like, oh,
35:49
Speaker 2: that's a good idea, you're going to do that, But
35:51
Speaker 2: it definitely got the I always get this wrong. Clogs, cogs, dogs, cogs.
35:57
Speaker 4: Cogs, clogs of the shoes.
36:00
Speaker 2: I really thought I was right with clogs. It gets
36:02
Speaker 2: the cogs turning in the brain. But I also found
36:06
Speaker 2: something very interesting that I think is like a little
36:08
Speaker 2: bit of a breath of fresh air on this habit,
36:11
Speaker 2: and that there was a sociological study which highlighted a
36:13
Speaker 2: phenomenon known as status signals paradox. So while people mistakenly
36:19
Speaker 2: believe that displaying expensive status symbols like luxury watches or
36:22
Speaker 2: high end jackets will make them more attractive potential to
36:26
Speaker 2: potential friends, research shows that it actually does the opposite.
36:32
Speaker 3: So by coming across as like quite.
36:34
Speaker 2: Bougie and like upper status, upper east side vibes, you know,
36:42
Speaker 2: it actually like repels new friends. And well it can
36:47
Speaker 2: actually repel new friends and make people perceive you to
36:51
Speaker 2: have a lack of warmth.
36:53
Speaker 4: Wow, that's so interesting.
36:54
Speaker 3: Isn't it interesting?
36:56
Speaker 2: So like spending money to prove you have money is
37:00
Speaker 2: and very efficient way to have less of it. In
37:03
Speaker 2: my eyes, like it. And that's the thing is I
37:07
Speaker 2: feel like that's like digging a hole at the beach.
37:09
Speaker 2: It's just it just keeps getting deeper and deeper, and
37:13
Speaker 2: before you know it, there's water coming in in. You're
37:16
Speaker 2: panicking and you're like waste my money in its way,
37:22
Speaker 2: I don't know, I like it neither do I That's okay,
37:28
Speaker 2: but yeah, so the habit to steal here is you
37:31
Speaker 2: don't have to look rich to become rich, and richness
37:36
Speaker 2: can also be very different things. You know, richness doesn't
37:39
Speaker 2: necessarily mean the singular money, the singular dollar amount in
37:44
Speaker 2: your bank account. And that's why I wanted to end
37:46
Speaker 2: on this is because yeah, you can have the designer handbag,
37:50
Speaker 2: the bougie car, the holiday where you stayed in like
37:53
Speaker 2: a million five stars. You know, I was about to
37:55
Speaker 2: say restaurants, hotels, But does that actually like bring you
38:01
Speaker 2: joy and friendship and warmthness into your life? Well, studies
38:04
Speaker 2: shown maybe not so. I think the one thing I
38:10
Speaker 2: want people to take away from this episode is understanding
38:12
Speaker 2: what does richness look like to you? Yeah, richness in
38:16
Speaker 2: life looks like different things to everyone, and that can
38:21
Speaker 2: be you know, having a certain salary in order to
38:25
Speaker 2: relieve stress for your bills and your bank account, and
38:27
Speaker 2: that is so important, you know. Is it living to
38:31
Speaker 2: your values? Is it living somewhere where you've got no
38:35
Speaker 2: self service and you just walk by creek every morning
38:37
Speaker 2: with your dog, which sounds a lot. I'm like, yeah, yeah,
38:42
Speaker 2: it's like an Aussie shepherd or like a Golden Retriever
38:45
Speaker 2: or bort a Collie or something like that. In the vision.
38:48
Speaker 2: In the vision, you live in like a cabin. Ye
38:51
Speaker 2: oh what I would probably like crawl out of it
38:55
Speaker 2: after six months and be like, give me interaction.
38:57
Speaker 3: But yeah, like what is being rich into you?
39:01
Speaker 2: And then what are the habits that you can steal
39:05
Speaker 2: that again and help you achieve that?
39:07
Speaker 4: Love it?
39:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks chicks for having us in your ear holes.
39:12
Speaker 3: We love to be here. Okay, can we do that
39:14
Speaker 3: every week?
39:14
Speaker 2: That was so fun?
39:16
Speaker 3: Love that It's give me Mary Kate Ashley. Yeah, sligh bye,
39:20
Speaker 3: chee bye