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Your Past Programming Is Holding Back Your Future Success With Dominic Beecheno · The Property Unleashed Podcast

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Property Unleashed podcast with me, your host, mark Fitzgerald.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: It's great to have you joining me here today, and today I am joined by a special guest.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I have Dominic Bicino joining me.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Good to see you, dominic.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: How are you today?
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Great to see you, mark, great to be here.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: It's a real privilege and honour.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: So thank you for inviting me.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling pretty epic today.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: It's a beautiful day outside.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: That always helps mood and I just love life at the moment, so I couldn't be happier.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Brilliant stuff, brilliant stuff.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: So Dominic is a highly experienced performance coach and business mentor with a career spanning over 18 years.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: He has dedicated more than 10,000 hours to coaching and mentoring over 3,000 small business leaders, focusing on enhancing their mindset, habits and strategic thinking to achieve tangible results.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: He is the founder of Kaizen Coaching, and Dominic employs this Japanese philosophy of continuous improvement to help clients elevate their performance, both professionally, personally and, of course, addressing areas such as health, fitness, sleep, nutrition and optimizing overall well-being and effectiveness.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: He has a role as head coach and mentor for both Property Strategy and the Property Investor Network, and he looks after and mentors over 25 coaches on those programs.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: And Dominic's coaching philosophy is characterized by a gentle yet powerful approach, offering clients unique perspectives on their challenges and fostering an environment that is conductive to growth and transformation.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: And I have to say I wanted to read that out, because we're not going to be able to touch on all of these different things, but people who listen or watch this episode are in for an absolute treat.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: If you're into personal development and you really want to understand blockers and things that are stopping you, then we are in the right place here.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: So I've done a quick intro.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Dom, tell us a bit about yourself.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you, mark.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, quite a big, long blurb, isn't it?
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I think the best way to summarise where I've come from and explain to where I've got to for the benefit of the audience is to say that I basically I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: You know, back in 2003, when I graduated from university, having done combined science, all sorts of different subjects in one, I was like what the hell am I going to do?
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: But I read the Rich Dad, poor Dad book, which I know a lot of your listeners would have read too, and I was like okay, property, I need to get into property, I want to.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Where do I start?
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Become an estate agent?
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: So that's what I did, and you don't need a degree to become an estate agent, by the way.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Um so, but but then everyone hates you and, uh, the way the English property system, as we all know, works is that estate agents are not not exactly, you know, your favorite person.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of sort of lying that goes along which really didn't sit well with my values.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: So I didn't last very long in in that.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: So I went traveling around the world.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I was like what am I going to do with my life and after seven months of traveling all around the world, I came back and I discovered this thing called coaching and I did a short course and I was like, wow, this is, this is my calling, this is what I want to do.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: So then I thought, how do I get into this?
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: And I basically volunteered to work for a coaching company back in 2006.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: And then, on from there, I found a job as a business advisor and this was the real transformation, because every day I got to meet a new business owner, a managing director of a small company, and I'd help them out with skills, advice and match coaches and mentors with them and help them grow their business.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: And this was a funded, a government funded scheme.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: So, um, basically, I was being paid by a company to go out and have conversations with people and help them sort out their problems, and it was just amazing.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: I absolutely loved it.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Every day I was somewhere new in london.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I've literally been to every single train station in in london and you know I've been to companies that, everything from distributors of men's magazines, where they had like porn all over, all over the wall, to, uh, you know, architects and manufacturing firms where they're sort of printing, uh, or even, uh, there was aerospace places as well.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: You know, they made the wheels, uh, honeywell, they made the wheels for airplanes and things like that.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: So I had such an eye-opening seven years of going to see all sorts of businesses and I absolutely love helping people to sort out their problems and that's where I feel really lucky.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I just love helping other people succeed.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: So I've always been in a way, I've always been in the world that I absolutely love, which is helping other people, and it's always been about refinement of how do I best help those other people.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: And what I discovered was it's all very well, you can give people amazing information, you can give them that, um, you know, yeah, the right skills, right knowledge, but why is it that some people, you give them the knowledge and they run with it and they make a great success, and yet probably more like 80% of people it's like the 80-20 rule 80% of people don't actually take action on it or they hold themselves back or they kind of talk themselves out of it.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: And that was the piece that I really got into, probably around, yeah, 2018, 2019 onwards, after I joined PIN Property Investors Network and become their head coach, and it was really interesting to see that we give everyone the same information.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Doesn't matter what course it is, whether it's a course on business growth or a course on property or a course on PR.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Some people will hold themselves back, and I was just fascinated about what it is.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Why do they hold themselves back and what can we do about what it is?
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Why do they hold themselves back and what can we do about it?
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: So that's my calling, that's my raison d'être Bridging, yes, the fantastic knowledge that we all need to move forward in life with understanding the subconscious, the stuff we're not aware of, the blocks that actually hold us back.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: So that's brought me to where I am today, which is to say running, uh, my own business, uh, but also consulting and coaching others, uh, for others, like pin property strategy and my own, unissuecom and kaizen coaching, um, and, and I just absolutely passionate about helping people break through those subconscious limiting beliefs.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and as a result of, yeah, I worked with all sorts of people and pretty seen almost every single problem there is out there, and I just love what I do.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: I'm very, very fortunate, mark, and it's through these work, this work, that I've been able to meet you, and it's just great to have amazing friends through work.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: You know a lot of people don't get to choose the people they work with, whereas I do and you do, so it is a real privilege to be where we are.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: No, amazing.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's great to obviously be able to do something that you want.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: But going back onto that, you know you started in estate agencies.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Then you saw about the coaching, then you got out there and you've got a real passion for it and I know that you've dedicated yourself to learning, you know, to absorb it if you like, rather than just learning things and putting things into practice as well.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: And obviously you know we had a quick discussion before this and we did talk about why some people like, as you say, some people can get a bit of knowledge, can go and achieve what they're setting out to do, whereas other people, with exactly the same knowledge, never get there.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: And it fascinates me more from a perspective of you know, I teach a lot of people, I show a lot of people exactly the steps that they need to take, yet they don't always get the results that we're hoping for and things.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: So to be able to sort of dive into that sort of subconscious, if you like, because you have a conscious, conscious mind, you have your subconscious mind as well.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: It's looking at those sort of steps.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: That is it.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Like the people overthink it.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Some people just, you know, take the take.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I always think sometimes we're too smart for our own good, whereas if we get the knowledge and do it, things will happen.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: It might not always happen the way you want it, but things will start to happen.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: But if you're actually quite clever and you start to really think about things and dive into things and and I think that can be one of the differences but I'd love to get your take on that, because I bet there's so many different things that are stopping people.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, there are lots of different things.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Arguably, there's about 10 saboteurs, as they call them, which are basically the voice in your head.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Voice in your head which is you thinking?
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: You know that voice in your head if you just say hello, quietly in your head, that's the voice in your head.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: So that voice is both your best friend and your worst enemy, because it's the one talking you into stuff.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: You know, the logical mind wants you to succeed, wants you to make more money, wants you to have happy relationships, wants you to do well.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: That's the logical mind.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And then you've kind of got the subconscious mind which wants to keep you safe.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: There's part of your brain I'm sure you've heard of it called the amygdala, which is the fear center, and it's very primal.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: It's part of the reptilian brain that we grew up with over the centuries and millennia and it's designed to keep us safe.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: And so any time that we feel outside of our comfort zone, outside of the norm, maybe a chaotic environment or an unknown environment, then that quiet subconscious voice will rear up and go oh, this doesn't feel right.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: And it will release, you know, cortisol and other chemicals in your body and you'll you'll hold yourself back from doing something that the classic example would be speaking on stage.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: You know an awful lot of people absolutely petrified of going on stage and speaking about it, but the same chemicals are happening, uh, for people who are excited about speaking on stage versus the ones who are scared of speaking on stage.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: It's's cortisol, it's adrenaline, but one person sees it as oh, this is exciting, this is going to be fun.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: I'm nervous but excited about it, whereas someone else will be like, no, this nerves.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: This feeling I can feel is actually saying don't do this, I shouldn't do this, this is dangerous.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: So there's a quick example of how the mind works.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, we want to succeed, but actually the subconscious wants to keep us safe.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: The body wants to keep us safe and that's why we effectively self-sabotage.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: So we go back into that's.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: What self-sabotage means is to go back into your normal, habitualized self of being safe and just staying chemically at an even keel and not pushing yourself outside of the unknown into an area where you feel uncomfortable, yeah, I like the metaphor of it as well as the comfort zone, isn't it?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: you put yourself in a box and anything in that box I can do, I can achieve that.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: I can do it with my eyes closed, but then when you put yourself, ie like on stage, you have to step out of that box into something.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: You'll expand the box.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: It can make it very, very tricky and very, very difficult for people, and I love one of the expressions that success is just one step away from overcoming fear, because a lot of the time when we fear something, if we actually do it, it's never as bad as we thought, and I've heard that it's an old wise tale, isn't it?
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Know, face your fears and everything, face your demons, and it's never as bad as what you actually think.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: In most cases, let's be right, um, and and yeah, it is, but it's overcoming those, but it's also, you know, do you think sometimes you can get too much knowledge into something rather than just taking the action?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: That you because some people, as the old saying goes, need to have the stars aligned need to have their ducks in a row, don't they?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: And I think, as humans, because we can absorb so much information, I don't think it always helps us, do you you're so right.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Uh, mark, it's absolutely true, and I remember when I was a business advisor I'll be like I'm never starting my own business.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I can see all these people and all their problems.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: You know the problems that you know that they have to deal with every day.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: It's like I'm never going to run my own business.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: It's way too risky, because I learned so much about all everyone's problems.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Um, so so, yeah, we can absolutely learn too much.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: In fact, knowledge is a blocker in a way.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Actually, sometimes it's better not to know.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, frankly, you know, if you knew all the late nights, sleepless nights, stress, worry and everything else that of having kids, for example, probably wouldn't go through with it if you knew about it.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: But the fact is we're kind of biologically programmed and people want to have kids and actually the hardest thing in the world is, I think, having, you know, bringing up children.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: But it's also the most rewarding, and it's exactly the same for business.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: It is the hardest thing you'll ever do is run and grow a business, but it's also the most rewarding, and therein lies the balance of life.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Whatever we find difficult and challenging is actually just as much a great gift, and I think that's one of the tips I'd love for your audience to take away.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Is that actually the challenge that you fear?
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: That is your route to the greatest growth, anything that you feel you need to overcome.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: That is where you've got the biggest potential one to grow, but also to serve others and do the same, because I would say it's exactly that for me, right?
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: You know, the difficulties I've had in my life have become the greatest gifts, that my most joy has come from helping other people overcome their own limitations, and I've had loads of my own limitations.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I'm not limitation free.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: There's always more, and that's why you know the world is designed that way.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: We're designed to have challenges.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Doesn't matter if you've got 50 million in the bank or 100 pounds in the bank.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: You're gonna have challenges.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: They're just probably going to be bigger challenges as you, as you grow and make more money and uh, you know, have more relationships and bigger businesses.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: But chances are, by the time you've got there, you're better at solving those problems.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: And so, rather than shy away from all the difficulties and challenges and problems that you face, why not embrace them?
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Why not go?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Ah, I'm uncomfortable.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Great, now I know that I'm growing.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Now I know I can actually learn something and do something different to change who I am, rather than react and be the same person as before.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I can proactively go towards and literally run towards that problem and do something about it and grow through it.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: And and that is, for me, that was one of the biggest revelations is kind of realizing that actually all these difficulties, all these challenges, they're gifts.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Embrace the difficulty, embrace the problem, grow through it and actually you'll get the gift on the other side, because that's exactly why it's there is to help you.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Everything is life is happening to help you grow, except that the subconscious brain, you know the reptilian brain, the monkey brain, is there to wanting to keep you safe when in fact actually you're perfectly safe.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: There's never been a better time to be alive.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: There's more health, there's better nutrition, there's more knowledge, you've got more access to information that's going to help you succeed.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: There's no reason to fear these things, and so consciously we know that, but subconsciously, that's where the because, because we're not aware of it.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: That's what's really holds us back.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Love that, love that?
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: One of the things that I always ask any of my clients, and it's sometimes I get a really like.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: They look at me stupidly and to say, well, what are you on about?
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: But I always ask them are you afraid of when it comes to property, are you afraid of getting a deal?
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Because I see so many people that are like I need deals, I want deals, I want to do this strategy, that strategy and things.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: But when push comes to shove, I can actually see them talking themselves out of this deal, whereas it could be a good deal.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: We could have run the numbers.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: It's perfect as long as we get it for that.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: You know, negotiate it for this price, we can get this deal over the line.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Go out there and smash it and all of a sudden they're like well, I put it to them, I'm waiting for people, and there's loads of different excuses.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, they said no.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I always say well, what did you say to that?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Then?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Did you ask them why?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: You know, keep pressure if you want this deal to happen.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: But people can be quite quick when they get rejection to just switch off from it, and of course, rejection is all a part of parcel of life isn't.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: You can grow with rejection because for every no you're getting closer to a yes and things, which is easier said than done.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: But when you're looking, when you're working with people and you must see this yourself as well that people are like half arse in it, if you put it for want of a better word.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: They're having a go because they know they need to or they should be in whatever business, need to or they should be in whatever business.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: But you can see, as as a coach yourself, whether or not they're actually giving it 100 and you think it's going to succeed, or they're actually.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: Maybe there's some blockers there, which isn't always easy for us as individuals to recognize, but it is a lot easier for other people from the outside of this to be able to see that.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Now some people have blockers.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: I know this is a massive big question, but but some people have blockers and some people obviously are their own worst enemy and are fearful and are just worried that, a they're going to make a mistake or B potentially, you know, they might lose some money or something like that.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: So a bit of an open-ended question, realistically.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: But when you see people, is there anything that you look for to see whether they're sort of going to hold themselves back and how they can overcome their own challenges.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely Great question, mark.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: So let's take this piece by piece.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: We can categorise what holds us back under the banner of fear.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, fear, false expectations appearing real.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: You know, frozen energy, action required.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: There's lots of anagrams for fear.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Fear holds you in inaction, it stops you doing things, and it's evident to me when I'm coaching, when I'm working with people, by how they speak, what it is they say what comes out of their mouth.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: If they are blaming something external, so the economy, you know there's not enough deals in this area, or I can't find it, or the estate agent is not getting back to me, they're blaming anything on the outside world, I know immediately that actually, really, I mean, it's always us, right, it's always us.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: It's about your self-talk.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: It's about the words.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Right, it's always us.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: It's about your self-talk, about the words you're projecting, because you create your life through the words you say.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: You know your voice is the biggest creative tool you have, maybe writing as well, but certainly speaking in particular in this world, and also maybe taking action or not, maybe definitely taking action, but you're using your voice in that too.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: So if they're saying things that are creating walls and limitations in the words that they use, then I know immediately then they're not going to succeed as much as someone who is has something called pq positive intelligence where they see the opportunity, this art.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Like you said to me before we started, mark, you said you've got a few problems right now but you're working through them.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: And you and your mum said you how you've changed and how that wasn't the case.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: You said you've changed and that wasn't the case anymore.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Um, that's what I'm looking for in people is that the shift is in the way they speak and how they see the problem and how they address it.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: And then they're coming to me with the problem and they've come up with a solution and they want to get another opinion or they want they've thought of a problem that's holding them back and we want to, we discuss it, to overcome it.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Then I know they're moving forward, certainly consciously, and then from from the you know, sort of 10 000 hours plus, now that I've got experience, there's intuitive knowing as well about other stuff that might be holding them back.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: And if you want to dive into that, that would be things like and you know it's not exclusive, but some people, like you mentioned, they want to have all their ducks in their row.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: So they're a stickler for detail and unless they can see every single little step along the way and how it's going to pan out, they won't go ahead because they don't feel safe and therefore they don't take action.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: And that is a fallacy.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Life is never the way you think it's going to be.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Uh, one there's better opportunities.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Two there's you know, it's very rarely the way we predict.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Um.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: At best we can, we can try and predict, and obviously through learning, um, we can, we can get better at that.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: But it's never a dead cert.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Life would be really boring if it was dead certain, and so it's.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: It's about being aware that, yes, you can plan, but it's not about having the plan.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: That makes a difference.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: It's planning is the thinking that creates that future.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: So that's one, it's having all those details, and that's what holds them back.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Another one is they just, um, they don't want to feel salesy, maybe, if they're trying to raise finance, or they don't want to be pushy, if they're or feel they don't want to.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: It's all about that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: It's all about feeling.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: You know, all fears are fears of feelings, and they don't want to feel salesy, or they don't feel like they're screwing someone over by putting in a really low offer on the on the property, for example.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: And that's what holds them back is that feeling.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: So they avoid that feeling.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: They tend to just go.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I'd rather keep the status quo, I'd rather stay peaceful within and therefore I won't do that challenging uh situation.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: I won't have that conversation.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: That means that I feel uncomfortable.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: So there's two, for example.
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: There's the stickler, who wants those, that detail.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: There's the avoider, who wants to just keep the peace and not upset the cart and just make sure that everything's okay, and they'd rather stay in in sort of their comfort zone, um, so there's two.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: There's loads of others.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: There's the controller.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: You know they want to control every situation.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: If it's not going perfectly the way they want it to, and they get really frustrated, annoyed and anxious.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Um, there's the restless person, fomo.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: They're always thinking about what other networking can I go to?
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: This is really boring.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Now I want to do something else.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: And they, they never stop.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: And they're're the ones who say, oh, I'm really busy, I'm really busy, I'm really busy, and they never stop.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: They never take a holiday, or if they do go on a holiday, they're still thinking about work and they're doing other stuff.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a very common one at the moment the restless person, hyper-achiever, someone who's out there always trying to get recognition and and be successful through external validation.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: You know, oh yes, I got this deal.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Now I feel good.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: It makes me think of the story of Johnny Wilkinson.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: I found out the other day when he won the winning kick for the World Cup in rugby many years ago now what 2003?
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: He was happy.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: He said for 30 seconds.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: 30 seconds, his whole life, his whole career, that winning kick, and he was happy for 30 seconds.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: People think it's about the destination.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: It's not.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: It's always about the journey.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: It's always about who you're becoming in this moment.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: How are you growing?
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: How are you improving yourself?
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: What are you overcoming?
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: And that's what is the most important thing to to focus on.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I've gone off on a tangent there, but it's it's um.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: There's a three or four rather the controller, the stickler, the avoider.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: These are the voices in our head that holds us back, um.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: So raising our awareness about it is absolutely critical to overcoming it.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Um.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: But sometimes awareness on its own is not enough so do you think so, people?
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: people have blockers.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: We all have blockers at the end of it all.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: But where do the blockers come from?
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Do they come from our experiences?
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Can they come from anybody else's experiences, anything like that?
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, great question.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Ok, so basically our brains are a biological program like a biological computer, are a biological program like a biological computer.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: It's been programmed into us from the ages of zero to 12, in particular, when your brain is in a different state to what it's in now.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: In this moment, you're in a beta brainwave frequency.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: You're analyzing what I'm saying, you're using your memory to remember what these words mean, what this sound means, and you're analyzing, you're filtering, filtering it, you're agreeing or disagreeing with the stuff I'm saying.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: So that's a beta brainwave frequency.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: From from the years of naught to three, you're in a delta brainwave frequency, which which you consider sleep.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Basically, now, when you're in a sleep state, there is no filter, so you just absorb everything that's going on around you.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: And between the ages of sort of three and six, you're in a theta brainwave frequency and that's like sort of not quite sleep, but certainly not conscious.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: You're aware, but you're not sort of bodily aware and you're not analyzing.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: So again, you're just absorbing and learning by absorbing how to be a little human being.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: And that's why during your childhood from, in particular, not to 12, events happen to you where you subconsciously make a decision and learn to behave in a certain way.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: So quick example I found this out through doing something called rapid transformation therapy, where you get hypnotized, you regress back and your brain somehow knows it's amazing goes back into a childhood scene, and for me, one of the scenes three at a time, normally that you'd go through was that I ran across the road from my neighbor's house to my house.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: But it was the first time I'd ever crossed the road and I didn't know where I was going and I just decided to do it without sort of permission from from parents to do it.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: It was literally the first time I crossed the road on my own and as I did it I almost got hit by a car and I remember, sitting in my living room, just being in complete shock and I didn't know this until I did effectively the RTT, the rapid transformational therapy that in that moment I made the decision to no longer trust myself, and that's what I grew up with.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I don't trust myself to make important decisions.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I know it's a really small one, like crossing the road, but it's that formative event which then repeats itself throughout your life, going oh, you try something and it fails, and you don't trust yourself again.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: And so you go through life and you get to 30, 40 and you're like I don't know why I'm not succeeding.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: And actually the reason why you're not.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: One of the reasons why you're not succeeding is because you don't trust yourself, or you don't think you're worthy of receiving more money, or you lack confidence because, as a child, your parents said, no, that's not good enough.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: You need to do this effectively in order to be loved.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: I'm going to hold back my love from you until you act in this way and then I will love you, and so all of these programs which are instilled in you in childhood are the real blockers behind us as adults that are holding ourselves back.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: So that's one of the big things that holds us back.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Is that programming?
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: That's the biggest.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: That would be probably 80 percent of it but from also from my learning, and just to touch on it briefly would be that some lovely books out there now, but one of them is it.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: It didn't start with you and it looks that actually some of the traumas and blockers, limiting beliefs that you have actually came from.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: They were almost inherited, just like you can inherit disease from your parents, you know, like heart disease and diabetes and things like that which are more more likely to happen in your life if your parents you know, like heart disease and diabetes and things like that, which are more likely to happen in your life if your parents and grandparents had them.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: You've actually inherited traumas from your parents too.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: So a very common one.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: An example would be you know, particularly in Europe, people during the war, they didn't have enough money, they didn't have enough food, they didn't have enough money, they didn't have enough food and as a result, that has gone through generations of families too and they feel that, you know, there's never enough money.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: You know we must either hoard our money or I'm not worthy of receiving money or there's some sort of money block there.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: And that's a very common one as well is that people aren't good either holding on to money if they make it or if they just don't feel worthy of receiving it.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Therefore they sort of subconsciously hold themselves back from making, you know, and doing bigger deals because it just feels uncomfortable at that level.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: You know that amount of money that they might be talking about there.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: So there's two, two, two massive reasons that's the main ones that hold us back is that subconscious programming from childhood, from the ages of naught to 12 in particular, although it can be later on in life too um, and also generational trauma, so I'd encourage the people listening.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: What was it that your parents struggled with, and what did their parent, grandparents or your grandparents struggle with?
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: What were their worries that constantly were part of their identity in life?
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Because chances are, you've got that too and that's what needs healing, uh, to overcome it wow, I love talking to you, don't?
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I love talking here.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: So fascinating, so fascinating, so realistically.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: You could be struggling right here and now and it's nothing actually realistically to do with you, it's just what's been you've inherited.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you've inherited these blockers, these thoughts.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: So you know, for people that are out there, that are, that are maybe started trying to do something but are struggling and not understanding why they're struggling, I've had times where I've thought to myself, why don't I just go and do this?
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: You know what is stopping me, but there's something like you say, the little voice or something like that, or limiting belief, that is stopping you.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: And you also just see so many opportunities out there once you open up to them.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: But, of course, what I see as an opportunity, somebody else might miss completely, and vice versa, because we're not open to those things.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: So for people then that have maybe got the knowledge because, as as we say, rightly so, there's a lot of people out there now that have got so much knowledge that they, they don't need any more knowledge, they need action, they need to go out there, but they, they need to ask themselves what's stopping them.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: So what would be the first sort of stages, if we can help the listeners to taking those, those next steps, to actually doing something that they want to achieve right.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: So there's two ways to do it the traditional route, which I'm sure everyone is aware of, which is, say, you learn the new information and you take little steps.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Um, I say little, I mean you can take big steps too, right, but obviously the obviously the risk is higher and therefore you might feel more uncomfortable.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: But it comes down to taking regular action, which then become habits, which then become the way you think, feel and act.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: So we've got to take regular action that creates new neural pathways in the brain, which then becomes part of your personality, pathways in the brain which then becomes part of your personality.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: So that's one way you take action.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: You think you feel you do around, whatever it might be yeah, speaking to estate agents, sending landlord letters, anything that is going to help you to move forward in, say, for example, property investing.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: So that's one is taking action.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: The other way that you can do it that creates big transformation.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Actually, sorry, you can do it that creates big transformation.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Actually, sorry.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Just before I get onto the big transformation, one step back, it's about your relationship with yourself.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Self-esteem is your self-talk, it's how you talk to yourself.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: So, if you're constantly taking action and you're getting success, your self-esteem and your confidence and how you think about yourself is going to improve and that's also going to build your success.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: So it is absolutely about constantly taking action, constantly thinking, feeling and building up that self-esteem, that relationship that you have with yourself.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: The bigger one is well for me, I say the bigger one.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: The bigger one is well for me, I say the bigger one is going back into that theta brainwave state which you can get to through one meditation and two hypnosis Basically, your brain only.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: This is a really big insight.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: Ok, so you're thinking.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: At the moment you're in beta brainwave frequency.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: Your brain doesn't really change in a beta brainwave frequency.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: It changes at night, when you're asleep.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: When you're in delta and theta brainwave states and maybe alpha brainwave states where it's kind of creative imagination, that's when the uh, the axons and the dendrites and all the parts of the neurons in your brain, um, are rewiring themselves.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: That's when they're strengthening neural pathways in your head which actually kind of create a new personality.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: So you don't actually change consciously, you change unconsciously when you're sleeping.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: That's why sleep is so important, right, um, all these people you try and last on less sleep, but you're just stressing yourself out.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Maybe you're actually going to get the change you're going to burn out.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Actually rest is as important as taking action, because actually your brain changes in a relaxed state, whether it's a meditative state, whether it's a almost a sleep state or in sleep.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: That's where you can make the biggest change.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: So I love one meditating and visualizing a new future and having that visualization on a regular basis.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: So you're constantly going through, I don't know, the new house that you want to live in or that car you want to drive, or even just that state you want to be in of happiness and abundance and just feeling the joy every single day.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: So visualize that creatively using your imagination, because, as Einstein said, imagination is more important than knowledge.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: It's not the knowledge that's going to get you there, I mean, it's going to help, but imagination is where it's at, because that's where you're creative.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: You're creating a new, new potential in the future, rather than knowledge, which is actually the past.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: Um.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: So one is yeah, is that visualization, that meditation, that creative um state.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: The other one hypnosis.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: So this is where I would suggest you get a really good, well-qualified, very experienced, in particular, not just hypnosis, because normal hypnosis would be going from where you are now to a future of where you want to be, and I'd say that's about 20% as effective as something like rapid transformational therapy, where you regress to the original program that was created of you, know your limiting belief around you, know trusting yourself to make important decisions or um feeling worthy because of um.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: You know money you did or didn't have um, or love that you did or didn't have.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: If you, if you use a really good rapid transformational therapist, they will help you regress to their original program that instilled itself in your brain when you're a kid and they'll help you to reprogram it.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: They won't do it for you.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: You'll do, you'll realize it and do it for yourself, but through their guidance you'll realize it for yourself and you'll have a complete, I think, quantum shift breakthrough in your personality, because by reprogramming from the theta brainwave state it's far more impactful.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: So you could do the RTT therapy and then you listen to your hypnosis that they record specifically for you and your specific environments of what it is you want to change in yourself and you listen to that for at least 21 days, if not 30, every day 15 minutes and you'll notice.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: Well, actually other people will notice a bigger shift in you more quickly than you'll even notice a shift in yourself, but you'll feel lighter.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: I mean people after having deep, um, transformative, transformational therapy, like that.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: You can see the lightness in them afterwards because it's almost as if something is just released out of them and they're no longer who they used to be.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Um, so that's my preferred method because, uh, I've done all sorts of different therapies, as you can imagine, but actually that one has had the biggest impact.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Um, and that's what I've, you know, dedicated my life to is helping people to break through those limiting beliefs, and that's what I use and love.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: To help people succeed is rapid transformative therapy.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: Wow, crazy.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: That's brilliant, absolutely amazing stuff and great advice as well.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: And I guess that some people are going to have their subconscious these blockers weighing, like you say, like an anchor, a weight on their shoulders, as they say.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: But it really is, and sometimes you can see people that look like like they got the weight of the world on their shoulders and I'm guessing these are people with lots of different hang-ups, lots of different um blockers that they could really do with sort of trying to peel away those layers and and help themselves.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: And we were chatting, uh, just before we went live here about transformation and and how do you know if you're growing, improving or changing in things?
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: And what I said was I actually myself.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: I know that I'm a lot more vigilant in what I say and what I do and how I react emotionally and also how I keep my emotions in check.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: As we were saying before, if I had a problem before, everybody knew I had a problem.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I was loud, I was shouty, I was stressed, I was you could see it as soon as I walked into a room.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: But now I have issues and problems and I'll still be chatting to people quite normally and they'll say, well, aren't you worried about this?
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I am actually, but you know, there's no point in shouting and screaming about it, is there?
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: I can only control what I can control.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: But I've noticed more in other people that I've changed rather than and that they haven't really changed.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: And one of the things that I wanted to bring up again here was that I have friends, or I had friends.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: I haven't really changed in the sense that I don't think I should be friends with them anymore, but I had friends who haven't really changed and a lot of their problems, worries, fears and stuff were sort of aligned with mine.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Problems, worries, fears and stuff were sort of aligned with mine when I was very narrow-minded, you know seven years ago, before I started working on myself and everything else, um, and now all of a sudden we've drifted away and the old expression is well, mark, you've changed, you've changed, but I think it's we're not aligned anymore.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: You know well, they're quite happy to moan about the weather, the government, you know they're not getting paid enough, they hate their boss and all of those things.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: Then they say to me how are you getting on, mark?
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: I say, well, I'm happy, I'm loving it, I'm doing things that I want to do.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I've got a passion for it all All of a sudden.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: You know you can sort of see those differences, can't you?
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: So for people that are out there that are into self what would you say, say to them?
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Because it's difficult when people see you changing family members and things like that?
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: You must have had it yourself as well, you.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: You probably evolved and changed so much that, um, sometimes you have to just get new friend groups and everything don't you just align with, with your way of thinking.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: But there will be people out there that maybe it's not so much them that's holding them back, but their environment that's around them that's holding them back and that can be very, very difficult to get out of that, particularly if it's a significant other or it's a mum and dad or a family member or even just a really good friend or a circle of friends that is always telling you oh, it's risky to do that, I wouldn't get involved in that.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Why are you doing this?
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Why don't you?
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Just what would you say to people that are sort of clamped down into those environments?
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so right to ask the question, because environment is probably the single biggest factor behind whether or not you change.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Unless you do some sort of, you know, transformational therapy, that is going to impact who you are, your personality.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you or I were sitting in a you know a tent in Mongolia, you know we wouldn't have this technology, we wouldn't have the electricity, we wouldn't have, you know, the sanitation, we wouldn't have the transport, we wouldn't.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: There's so much around us that we wouldn't have.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Therefore, we wouldn't be the people that we are now here today.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: So your environment has the biggest impact and who you surround yourself with, in particular, as in your friendship group, as Jim Rohn said many, many years ago, you're the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: So you've really got to kind of look at that and go well, am I spending loads of time with an old parent who's in their old age and sort of got dementia and I'm having to look after them and therefore their energy is bringing me down, because it's very depressing to be around someone who's losing their mind.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: For example, yourself, are you part of a mastermind?
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: You're part of a group of people who are encouraging each other to overcome problems, to learn new things, to push themselves outside of comfort zones, to do things that they haven't done before and is are they helping you to learn and grow and become far better than, uh, you were before?
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Because if you're not consciously and deliberately creating an environment that forces you to step up, then by default it's reactive and you're just, you're conforming to the environment around you, whether it's, you know, in the workplace, people at the coffee machine complaining about their boss, or if it's, you know, something like that that might be bringing you down and you kind of you feel stuck and forced in it.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: But I would say, deliberately create an environment both.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: You know everything from the in the bedroom, make sure it's really dark and it's a place for making love and sleeping, and you know in your kitchen, like, don't put all the crap food in there because that's going to affect your energy.
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: So make sure that your kitchen is a really nice environment where you enjoy preparing a cookie and eating the food.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's, you know, the table where you can sit with your family.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: Whatever it is that you want.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Craft and be deliberate about every environment that you put yourself in.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: Um, and you'll find you will change as a result of crafting that environment and, in particular, your friendship groups, more than anything, um.
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: So so be deliberate about it, because environment has the biggest impact.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Is is what I would say.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Having said that, you may, if you were to have some sort of, you know, hypnosis or regularly meditate, you might find yourself making a big decision, which, by the way, is never one big decision.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: It's always lots of little ones that lead towards what feels like a big decision.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: Um, like I did in the last year I'm happy to share I separated from my wife for 15 years, not because it was really awful because an awful lot of marriages are, and in a way, I'm lucky but I chose to leave because I didn't want to spend the next 10 years, while the kids were relatively young, being one, feeling lonely, two, not having someone that I really, uh, get along with and love to be with the whole time, and I was just conforming and doing the normal thing of being married and looking after the kids.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: I decided to make a big change and separate from her and um start a new life with my new partner, and that's been a massive shift and it has shocked all of my family, all of my friends well, pretty much all my friends and you know, in many ways I've been rejected initially and that is a massive thing, one that I'm still getting used to.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: But just to share for the audience, if they are choosing or thinking about making a big change, whether it's leaving a job or leaving a partner or moving to a different location to live in, yeah, it's going to be a massive shift, but actually you can then craft your own environment.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: You can craft a new life and you can become more of who you wish to be.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: And if you're feeling like there's a pull towards that, listen to that intuition, because intuition and knowledge and and knowing actually comes from the body and not from the mind.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: We always think the mind is in charge.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: It's not.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: It's there to just justify with logic what we feel intuitively is right for us.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: And you'll know if it's right, because you'll feel lighter once you've made that decision, that you've decided to do something like leave a job or separate from a partner, and yeah, that is that will create a massive shift in your environment often.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: But you'll recreate a new life because life is safe and you can do that and it's always going to be.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: You know the universe has got your back.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: Amazing things happen and it's always going to be.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: You know the universe has got your back.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Amazing things happen.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: When I made the decision to leave, you know, my business partners, jackie and Dave, lent me their camper van to live in because I literally had nowhere to stay.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: Then a friend said I could stay with them for a few days and and then my parents said I could stay with them for a few days and anyway it just all evolved and through conversations and everything else I've gone from, you know, and through conversations and everything else, I've gone from a temporary sofa surfing to a camper van, to a static caravan, to a chalet and next it will be an actual home once we settled the finances.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: So it's progressed and I know with absolute ground certainty that it was going to progress.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: And so just knowing that once you make the decision, whatever big decision it might be, you'll be fine.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: It might take big decision, it might be, you'll be fine.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: It might take a little while but you'll be fine, it's just a feeling.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: You don't need to believe that thought.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: You don't need to believe that feeling.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: You can just sit in the moment and go oh look, I'm having that feeling of fear.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: I'm having that feeling of thought, that fearful thought, and I don't have to believe it.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to be present and I know that the universe has got my back and everything else is is going to turn out okay, because if it wasn't meant to, we'd all be dead.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I went off a tangent there, but I think it's just important to share that big decisions, you know, although uncomfortable, can actually lead to a much better life no, thank you for sharing that and your honesty and everything you know.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: It is appreciated and, of course, that is a massive thing to do.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: I think the last massive major decision I made was taking voluntary redundancy, when I left a kushti job that you know.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: I didn't have to leave.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: I had the security there, I was earning a good wage and everything.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: But most people say, well, were you scared when you did it?
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: And I was actually no.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: When I, I felt relief, like exactly what you said there.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: I actually felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders All of a sudden.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: Now is free to start a new chapter in my life and to get out there and do something.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: And that's what I'm.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: That's what you're saying.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: There is, succinctly put, is, if you are having these challenges, if you are in these situations, it is down to you to make those changes.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: Don't wait for any external situations or things to happen.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: At the end of the day is down to you and you alone.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: Uh, and you know the choices that we make are are our own.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: You know where we are as adults in our life and I love this as well is we're where we've chosen to put ourselves.
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Now that could be in the wrong place, that could be in the wrong relationship, that could, as adults in our life and I love this as well is we're where we've chosen to put ourselves.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: That could be in the wrong place, that could be in the wrong relationship, that could be in the wrong business, that could be in the wrong job.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: But you've chosen to do that because, even if somebody else has swayed your decisions, it's been you that's done it, and it's a bit like with weight, and I love it.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Zig Ziglar says it best I've never eaten anything that I didn't choose to eat because it's a choice.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: I chose to put, you know, the the donut in my mouth and eat it or whatever.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: So it is all down to the choices that we make.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: So it goes.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: A lot of it goes back to, obviously, environment situations, but remember, you do have a choice uh, in most cases obviously, and it's about making the right choices and, of course, uh, the right choices for you.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: Dom, I could chat to you all day long, but one of the things that I just want to touch on here is I've just started really incorporating into my weekly schedule Now, you know, maybe because I don't work full time and everything I've got businesses and stuff I can do that it's thinking time.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: It's actually time to sit down and think about specific things, which I'd never really done.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: I'm normally here, there, everywhere, super fast, though I haven't got time for all of that, but that's made a massive, massive difference in what I'm doing and what I'm achieving and everything.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: And just, I know you're a big one for your visualization, for meditation, I am as well.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: But think in time, just to sit down and think about you, something, some part of work, business, life.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: You want to get healthy, just sitting down and having you know a bit of time there with a notepad and pen and let your mind wander.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: It's magic, isn't it?
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: oh, it's incredible.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: I think that's when we get the most guidance is actually when we stop.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Because you know, there's there's a sort of culture of doing, doing, doing, doing, doing the whole time, and actually the best wisdom tends to come to us when we're being, when we're being just in the moment, whether it's out on a walk in nature, which I find for me is my, my thinking place, uh, either running or walking, but it's out in nature, um or or, as you say, sitting down somewhere comfortable.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: You create an environment.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: You've got a nice comfy chair and you've got your notebook and you can just let the mind wander and think creatively.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: And that's when guidance, I think, can come in, because you've quietened the outside world about all the stuff you need to do, do, do and you're just there with your thoughts and then all sorts of things can happen.
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: All sorts of intuitive guidance comes in.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: And just stepping back slightly, as you said, you felt lighter when you left your job.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: That's guidance.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: If you're making a decision and you feel lighter from the thought of going, oh, you know, I could leave my job or I could do this.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: If you're feeling lighter, that is guidance, that it is the right way for you, because it's like the word enlightenment, right, you get lighter, you feel better, you're actually, you're more energized.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: So those are the decisions that, if you feel lighter as a result of it, that is actually intuitive guidance, um, so, so I'm a big fan of, as you say, taking time out, uh, deliberately, uh, to, to and and strategically as well.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: So, as you say, scheduling it into your diary to go.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna, you know, take friday afternoon off.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go for a walk and take my diary.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna be me and my thoughts and I'm gonna get ideas and you will get ideas, and the more you do it, the you better, the better you get at it too, because your brain always knows that that is your reflection time to get that guidance.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, I love that idea that you're already doing it.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Great to hear Any other tips that you would say that you've done in the last six months or so that have benefited your life your life In the last six months.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I've stopped meditating for a while and I got back into that because I know that is important.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: But again, things life always seems to get in the way and things like that that are actually very important.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: You need to, you need to prioritize, but for me it's it's having a bit of reflection and it's actually probably more than ever.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: Now I get to the end of the week and I have a bit of time on a Friday because nobody can book me in unless I'm doing something specifically on a Friday or there's a major emergency.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Just to reflect on the week, on the month that's coming up, I actually have it scheduled in my diary now to say you know what's gone well, what's not gone so well, why have I not maybe done something that I should have done and what was stopping me?
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: So I have a bit of time now where I have a journal as well, I just reflect on it and also I've started every morning I like to write five mantras about my life and myself, just to pick myself up, pick up my life, where I want to be, what I think of myself and things.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: Now, if you read it you'd say, oh, my God, this guy's got such an ego.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: But it's not for you to read, it's just for me to read and tell myself on a daily basis.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: Who is the greatest boxer of all time?
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: Muhammad Ali, of course.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: He said it every single time, every single day, to everyone.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: I am the greatest and people believed it because he said it so often.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: And he believed it because he said it so often.
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: So why not?
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: It's a brain hack, tell you.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: You know, in the uk we are so self-deprecating, you know, we're very.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: We talk ourselves down.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: Maybe be a little bit more american.
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: Talk yourself up.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: Big yourself up and see what happens.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: Just try it for a year.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: That's what I would say to people.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: Big yourself up, talk up, you talk yourself up.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: Tell yourself how amazing you are and start seeing the difference it makes.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: Because positive intelligence, as it's called where you're seeing the good, you're talking yourself into doing the things that you want to do.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: You're focusing the mind on what you want and you're seeing the opportunity in every difficulty.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: That is where more success will come, because you're thinking deliberately and training your mind to think differently.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Deliberately, you're being, as I would say, proactive rather than reactive.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: 95% of who we are is entirely habitual.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: It's a program, as we've talked about before.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: So actually, let's program the mind by deliberately training it to think positively, to think creatively, to see the opportunity in every problem and, as you just mentioned, thinking on paper.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: So journaling that is one of the most powerful tools you can use to transform who you are, because it's not just a thought, because you have 30 to 70 000 thoughts a day.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: Most of them are repetitive thoughts from the you know the previous days.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: When you deliberately think in a new way and you write it down because you've got that hand brain action, you're more likely to remember it.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: Um, and therefore, if you're writing down a mantra about who you are, fantastic, you're going to be more likely to become that person.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: It's just the way the brain works, so don't knock it, try it.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: That's what I would say to people.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: Oh no, brilliant, Great stuff, good stuff.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: So I am conscious of your time and everything.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: I'd like to do a little quick fire round at the end of these and then hopefully in the future I can get you back on and we'll have a round two, dom, because there's so much more than we can go into and talk about, if that's all right with you yeah, I'd love to love to mark so, um, if you could sit down and have dinner with three people, dead or alive, who would you like to sit down and have dinner with and chat to?
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: oh, my goodness, okay.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: So, uh, gandhi, deepak chopra I mean, this is literally just off the top of my head and probably richard branson, actually.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: Um, yeah, deepak chopra for the spiritual gandhi, for all the incredible stuff he did and achieved.
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: And, uh, richard branson, just because I just think he's one of the most amazing entrepreneurs I've ever met, and, um, it would be great to go to his island, see that.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: So, uh, those are the three that spring to mind, but there'll be loads more.
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: I'm sure I can keep going on, but yeah, that's cool.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: Uh, what are your top three books, or three books you'd recommend people to help them?
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: you know, with what we've been discussing today, oh my goodness, there's so many, and, um, you know, I've read well over a thousand on all sorts of personal development, success, psychology, everything, but the ones that I keep coming back to.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: I think, uh, probably the top three that I keep coming back to.
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: A bit of an unusual one.
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: It's pretty heavy, uh, but I am a bit of a geek in that way.
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: Um, it's a chap called Dr David Hawkins, who's passed away now, but he's certainly an enlightened individual and his book Letting Go the Pathway of Surrender is, I think, one of his most accessible books, and it creates an amazing framework for, you know, sort of elevating our consciousness.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: So that one is one that I've read seven or eight times.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: Another one would be A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, and that is just brilliant.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: It's really odd.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: It's one of those ones that I can't remember very well, even though I read it seven times, but it's just brilliant.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: So it's just so, um, yeah, enlightening and, uh, makes you feel good, and literally every for every sentence is a pearl of wisdom.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: And then another one, gosh, three books.
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: Um, I mean, your environment is really important, but basically you are what you repeatedly do, think and feel.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: Uh, excellence, then, is not an act but a habit, as leonardo da vci said, so it'd have to be atomic habits as well by James Clear, which is just.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: I think it's been in the top 10 bestseller list for like four years now in New York Times.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: It's just a brilliant book that you can go back to again and again and again and that really helps you understand, um, who you are and how you transform your habits to become a different person.
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: Amazing, amazing, yeah brilliant.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: I've wrote those down as well.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: Atomic habits is the only one I've read out of those lot, so I'm going to get the other ones later today.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: Um, if you listen to podcasts, you have three podcasts that you enjoy oh well, of course this one would be up there and um oh three podcast.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: So I do listen to a lot.
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: Um, I think he's brilliant.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: Diary of a Sea a lot, I think he is brilliant.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: I have a lot of respect for seeing him live as well, and he's just a lovely, lovely guy and ahead of his time, I think.
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: Know Thyself is another lovely podcast which has, yeah, all the sort of famous authors and speakers around the world of spirituality and personal development and also I'm really enjoying it's a a bit of it.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: It's one of those ones you know, some people like horror films.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Uh, I like american politics, particularly at the moment.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: It's just really interesting seeing what's going on and how it's breaking uh politics as we know it uh into a new world, and I find that fascinating, uh, the impact on the world, obviously, um, so, in particular, what's it called?
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: Um, it's the biggest podcast in america.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: Um, all in all, in is the podcast in america which is, in particular, been interviewing lots of people in politics, and I found that really fascinating to see what trump and his cabinet is.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: It's not a cabinet, but his whatever it is is doing is fascinating.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: Amazing.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you very much.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: It's been an absolute pleasure to have you on my friend.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: Thank you, mark.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: It has been a real joy to do this.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: I hope the audience have had some value and some insights and they can go in and actually do something with some of the information they've gathered here.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: Um, because you know what, when everyone is happier, everyone is succeeding, then it's win-win all around and that's why I'm so fortunate and lucky to you know to get through this, you know interview with you and and share what I love and hopefully other people can get something from it too and hopefully it benefits everybody.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: So it's win-win all around I'm sure they will.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: I'm sure they will.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: If anybody wants to reach out to you, uh, find out more about you.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: Know how you can help and support them and everything.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: What's the best ways to do that?
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: yeah, um, so I've got a pretty unique name dominic beach, you know, bwc heno.
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: Uh, if you google me and you can connect with me on linkedin although do put a message in or on Facebook or on Instagram, I'm there or you can go to my website I'll give the easier one, which is wwwunleash-u.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: As in the letter u dot com.
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: Unleash-ucom is my website.
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: So yes, thank you very much indeed, mark.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Brilliant stuff, brilliant stuff.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: Well, always good to see you, my friend, and I'm sure our paths will cross again very, very soon.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: But, as I say, I'd love to get you on a bit later in the year and maybe, if we've got any feedback from this episode, any questions or anything, we can answer those together.
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: That'd be great.
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: I'd love that.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you very much indeed, and thank you to the audience for listening.
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: Brilliant stuff, great stuff.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: I hope you've enjoyed this episode as much as I've enjoyed bringing it to you.
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: I always like to get guests on that fascinate me, that are experts in their field, and Dom certainly is that, and a hell of a nice guy as well.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: So if you have enjoyed this, or you think there's somebody out there that would enjoy listening to this, then please do feel free to share it.
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: Leave a review if you have enjoyed it.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: I if you have enjoyed it.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: I'm always interested in reviews and, of course, if you need any other further help or assistance, then do reach out to us either on social media or, of course, check out the website or the show notes, as we're always there to help and support people, to put them in the right places in the right communities and make sure that people are getting out there and achieving what they want to in life.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I thank you for joining me here today and I look forward to you joining me again very soon.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: Take care and bye for now.