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Donald Drumpf Theatre 309: Buying The Election · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Previously on The Donald Drum Theater Radio Show.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: Did you go to an NBA game between the Golden State Warriors and the Atlanta Hawks
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: on February 3rd, 2024?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just give you a little context.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: The day before Fannie Willis came clean with her affair with the prosecutor,
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: the next day were you in Atlanta?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: I do not believe so.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say if I had a series of text messages from your team
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: that said you were in Atlanta at a Warrior Hawks game?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think you know that we have this stuff.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: You just took it down really quick, if I could look at that again.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: I think you've already perjured yourself, but you will go down as a total dirtbag.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: I recall going to a University
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: of Maryland basketball game.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was Maryland playing Iowa.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: Could it then be that University of Iowa's the Hawkeyes?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Teams, you had the teams wrong, sir.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: Whose questioning is this, by the way?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: Are you using your time, sir?
• 0:55
  [music]
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: We are controlling transmission, if we wish to make it louder.
• 1:10
  [music]
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: We will bring up the body.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: You've just crossed over into...
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: How am I turning to the
• 1:39
  [music]
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_03: to go now that I've gone too far?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: For your consideration,
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: a nation held hostage by the fragile ego of a man-baby president,
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: you were trapped with in the Twilight Zone.
• 2:02
  [music]
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_03: in Donald Trump's face, not
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: to love.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump is a great disgrace, so we hire, hire, ride in Donald Trump's face.
• 2:39
  [music]
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: They are crazy,
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: there's no question of matter,
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: they are very crazy people, and I tell them that all the time.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: They said, you're crazy, man.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's a small price to pay for keeping the world safe, keeping our country safe.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: They can take out a city.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let them take out Los Angeles.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let them take out San Diego.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's, this is a very small price to pay.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Be higher!
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Higher!
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right in Donald Trump's face.
• 3:22
  Are we not the Superman?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Aryan pure Superman?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he is the Superman.
• 3:27
  Super duper Superman.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Is
• 3:29
  [music]
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump's world new order.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: If we want a foreign race, we love Donald Trump.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Space when we bring to the world disorder.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: When Donald Trump says... Maybe you blow him up.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you blow him up.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: We have to make that decision.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: We blow him up.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: We make a deal.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: But the time is coming.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: We hire, hire, right in Donald Trump.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Space not to love.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump is the
• 4:09
  [music]
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: gone straight to number six.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: F*** that guy.
• 4:27
  [music]
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Trump Says Gasoline prices in Alaska are gonna tumble.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Be higher!
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Higher!
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Riding Donald Trump Space not to love Donald Trump Is a great disgrace, so be higher!
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: Higher!
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: The story is... Pointy man with the map.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: And then our best friend.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: So wet.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: And voting.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think I know this Donald Drumpf is saving the midterms for the Republican Party.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, finally answer.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to guess the opposite of what Dave Foley said.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: The story is President Drumpf is making the midterm elections all about him.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: And once again, U.S. taxpayers are the ones footing the bill.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: This week it came to light that Drumpf's Department
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: of Homeland Security has set aside $20 million
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: for pro-Drumpf TV commercials like this one running on Newsmax.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_03: He's the toughest, most resilient person that I've ever met.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_03: And nothing is going to stop him from fighting so hard for the country.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: What is so upsetting about that commercial to a lot of people?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: They put a big thing that says paid for by the American government.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: And this is a crazy thing.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Some people still think it matters that that's illegal.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's criminal.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's a campaign ad.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: He's making a lot of money while in office, and the people he's trying to excite are broke.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: They don't have any money.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: They can't pay for rent.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's a bad move as president of the United States, but it doesn't surprise me.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, they used actual footage from his campaign in an ad paid by the government.
• 6:35
  [music]
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think there ought to be a rule that you can't, well, there probably is a rule.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: You can't spend public money to promote yourself.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_03: You can give me a diamond ring, my friend, if it
• 7:09
  [music]
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: Trump's own lackeys are slamming,
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: his poll numbers are bad,
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: his TV ratings are worse,
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: which is why he's found a new and totally legal way to get his message out.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: Just air campaign ads on national television using your taxpayer money.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: The White House today is defending the Trump administration's use of millions
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: of your taxpayer dollars for a series of TV ads promoting President Trump all in
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: the run-up to the midterm elections.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: And new ads hitting the airwaves this week.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: Trump administration flaunts what it thinks are some of its biggest accomplishments.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: But the ads were paid for by the U.S. government, and that's raising concerns on Capitol Hill.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just show you one of them, because it's a 30-second spot.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: On your left is the ad paid for by you, American taxpayers.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: On the right is the ad paid for by Trump during his last campaign.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: We will liberate America from these villains once and for all.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: They literally took a campaign ad they used in 2024 and re-aired it
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: on TV using taxpayer dollars.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: He's $2 billion richer than he was two years ago.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: Is there anything this grub won't make us pay for?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: If you went out to dinner with Drumpf,
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: he would order everything on the menu,
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: then say,
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: I forgot my wallet,
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: then ask you for 50 bucks, then put it in his wallet right in front of you.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: We're paying for his ballroom,
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: his arch,
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: his fancy new Air Force One,
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: his tuition at the school for men who stand like weirdos.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Critics have said using taxpayer money to air campaign ads is unethical
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_02: and possibly illegal, and even Republicans are speaking out against it.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: But Drumpf has a foolproof explanation.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: They can't be campaign ads because he is not running for anything.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: DHS is spending millions of dollars on new ads about you,
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: and your critics say those ads might violate federal propaganda laws.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_03: Why should U.S. taxpayers aim for that?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm not running for office, first of all.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so the ads are...
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, given by me, but I'm not running for office.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm talking about making America great, making our country great, that's a countrywide ad.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's an ad for the spirit of our country.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not promoting a candidate.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not promoting myself because I'm not running for office.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm promoting the country.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, that's an ad promoting the spirit of the country?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_02: That ominous black and white ad?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: With you lurking down a hallway while terrifying music plays?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: If it's promoting anything, it's the spirit of Halloween.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: I can give
• 9:49
  [music]
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: We are now less than 30 days away from the midterms, and you better be registered to vote.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Drumpf is expected to...
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: He's on the road.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: He is, um...
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Expected to travel every day from now until November 3rd as part of his plan to save
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: the Republican majority and his marriage.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: According to the latest numbers from the failing New York Times,
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Republicans are in deep trouble in the House and possibly in the Senate,
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: even in states.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: But fear not,
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Red Hats,
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: if dear old Uncle Scam can't earn your vote, he's going to buy it from you.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Our country is doing so well under Republican leadership that only I can make you this promise.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: If Republicans win the House of Representatives and the Senate,
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to give all adult citizens in the United States of America $5,000.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And Mexico is going to pay for it.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now, first of all, that's our money.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're not giving anyone anything.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's you breaking open Eric's piggy bank and going, hey, dummy, here's your allowance.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you're doing.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Also, if you're going to pretend to give money away, why $5,000?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Why not make it $5 million?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if the Democrats win, you will have an economic depression, much like 1929.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: If the Republicans win, you will each have $5,000 in your pocket.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he's never lied to us before.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you something, and let me be very clear.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Donald Drumpf is more likely to run a 5K than to give it to us.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_03: If
• 11:49
  [music]
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I'm President Drumpf, and I approve this ramble.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're getting bold out there, but not for long because I have a solution.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: If the Republicans win,
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give everyone $5,000,
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: that promise.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So just pretend I'm on the ballot, okay?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: You have to use something called imagination.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Imagination makes a MAGA nation.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's pretty good.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: I can already see that written on the back of an obese woman's booty shorts
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: What a hellhole this country is.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's full of awful people.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I know it's hard, but please vote for Republicans, okay?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, that includes creepy Ken Paxton down there in Texas.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Goddamn, I hate that guy.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Look at that.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I don't like him.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I do actually.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's his eye.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hate that eye.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can't say that kind of thing anymore, but I can, and I do all the time.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Remember this one?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, no.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: What are you going to do about it?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: Tell
• 13:15
  [music]
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: me, Lord.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: Can't buy me.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: Can't buy me.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_03: Can't
• 13:30
  [music]
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love the inflation.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think about American's financial situation.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: When you have to pay a little bit more, you're at $4.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never apologize.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing bad can happen.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: It can only good happen.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Saudi Arabia and Russia will be...
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've done a job as president.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Corruption!
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: His self-dealing has become so commonplace in this administration
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: that Drumpf thinks he can just use our money to air his campaign ads.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: But even Republicans are breaking with him because his poll numbers are just so bad.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: They're saying to Drumpf, Mr. President, sir.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: You crazy, man.
• 14:44
  Can't find
• 14:44
  [music]
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: it.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: So here's Drumpf with his defense of using taxpayer dollars.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: These are ads for the country.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: These are ads.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not promoting, you have to understand, I'm not promoting a candidate.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: Does that mean we have to send him a thank you card?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, we're paying for
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: the ads.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, he needs to send us a thank you card.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: This is present to us.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the ad campaigns are only measured by how effective they are
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: at spreading your message, of course.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: And CNN has found that so far,
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: the White House has produced at least 13 different campaign-style ads,
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: and one upcoming spot even has the title God Made Drumpf.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: Out of what?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm surprised the ad doesn't say, Drumpf made God.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, the ad blitz is not working.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: A new election forecast predicts
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: that House Republicans will almost definitely lose their majority this fall,
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: with anywhere from five to 15 House seats likely to
• 16:29
  [music]
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Poll numbers are not in his favor.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: How are the candidates that have been endorsed by Drumpf receiving him as of late?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: This week, several Republicans in tight races across the country now distancing themselves
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: from President Drumpf.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: Among them, Michigan's Mike Rogers.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: The war with Iran needs to end and end quickly.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Mike Rogers criticizing Trump is very notable because he's still polling
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: behind Democrat Abdul El-Sayed in a state that Drumpf won in 2024.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: What other reasons might a Republican candidate have for not loving Drumpf?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: He smells like butt.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, gas is a gas.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: The price of?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I thought he had gas.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, would it be the big... Drumpf.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Party in Texas?
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: Points!
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: In leaked audio this week,
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Texas candidate Ken Paxson said that Drumpf convention
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: in Dallas last month actually hurt his poll numbers,
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: and Ken is not lying about Congratulations to Ken Paxton.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: You have done it.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: You are the least popular Texas GOP Senate nominee this century.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: You've managed to do it.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: And when I was looking at the data, no one else was even in the negative.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: And you're at minus 16 points at this point.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: This is record breaking for Texas.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta say, it's almost like being a career criminal.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't stand for anything in the Republican Party anymore.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it doesn't help at all.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now, what does Drumpf think about the criticism from Kim Paxton?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm coming back and throwing another party
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: for you.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's all about me and it's my party and I'm going to cry if I want to.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's how Drumpf feels.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because he went back.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: This week.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, I don't care.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care about you.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care about you.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care about you.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: I care about me.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, he would look at the bigger picture and realize that he is the leader of
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: the Republican Party.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: He could be a pain in the ass sometimes, I'll be honest.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Is he here, by the way?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, there he is.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Good.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even know if he's here.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: They're both such colossal pieces of shit.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: What do we think, panel?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Does Drumpf have the juice to rally his people one last time?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: I feel confident That Drumpf should be out there on the campaign trail every day, every night.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: He should not sleep.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: He should not eat.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: He should just be out there campaigning and talking about what a great job he's done
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: until these midterms are over.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Please, dear God, make him do it.
• 19:21
  [music]
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks to the songs for this week's episode from Golden Earring,
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: The Carpenters, and Spike Jones.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And thanks to the clips and excerpts from John Oliver,
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Eric Schmidt,
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Jack Smith,
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Amy Klobuchar,
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: John Kennedy,
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: and Dave Foley,
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: Ashley Allison,
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Roy Wood Jr.,
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Amber Ruffin,
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: and Michael Ian Black from Have I Got News For You,
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: and Seth Meyers,
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Tony Doe Cooper,
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Jimmy Kimmel, James Austin Johnson, Mike Rogers, Harry Enten, and others.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tune in next week for episode number 310 of the Donald Trump Theater radio show.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: If we're still allowed on the air...
• 20:12
  [music]
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: The News.
• 20:52
  [music]