Latest / Wired To Hunt Podcast / Ep. 700: Foundations - Don't Make Unspoken Deals with the Deer

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Ep. 700: Foundations - Don't Make Unspoken Deals with the Deer · Wired To Hunt Podcast

0:01
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Wired to Hunt Foundations podcast, your guide
0:05
Speaker 1: to the fundamentals of better deer hunting, presented by first Light,
0:09
Speaker 1: creating proven versatile hunting apparel for the stand, saddle or blind.
0:14
Speaker 1: First Light, Go Farther, Stay Longer, and now your host
0:19
Speaker 1: Tony Peterson.
0:20
Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, welcome to the Wired to Hunt Foundation's podcast,
0:23
Speaker 2: which is brought to you by First Light. I'm your host,
0:25
Speaker 2: Tony Peterson, and today's episode is about how to have
0:28
Speaker 2: a good relationship with white tails, which probably sounds really dumb,
0:33
Speaker 2: and it might be, but you're just gonna have to
0:34
Speaker 2: listen to this one to find out. If you haven't
0:42
Speaker 2: heard yet, it's white tail week here at Meat Eater.
0:47
Speaker 2: Even those mustachioed, flannel wearing bowsman nights that seem to
0:52
Speaker 2: only hunt with rifles for mountain or plains dwelling critters,
0:56
Speaker 2: they're thinking about white tails this week and that is
0:58
Speaker 2: no small feat. Trust me. Most of the time, us
1:02
Speaker 2: whitetail hunters at Meat Eater are kind of just relegated
1:05
Speaker 2: to the kiddie table while the big wigs plan their
1:07
Speaker 2: next amazing spearfishing trip or something cool like that. Not
1:11
Speaker 2: this week, though, it's all about deer. That's what I'm
1:14
Speaker 2: going to talk about today. But first I need to
1:16
Speaker 2: sell you guys some stuff. We have a ton of
1:20
Speaker 2: good first light gear on super sale this week and
1:23
Speaker 2: a whole lot of other whitetail necessities. You can head
1:26
Speaker 2: to the Meat Eater's store at the meat eater dot
1:29
Speaker 2: com and see the deals which are going to net
1:32
Speaker 2: you a healthy discount. Or you can head over to
1:34
Speaker 2: my Instagram at Tony J. Peterson and check out the
1:37
Speaker 2: link in my bio. If you do that, I might
1:40
Speaker 2: not get fired, so that one has my vote. But
1:43
Speaker 2: even if you do want to see me fired and
1:44
Speaker 2: laying sod or flipping burgers somewhere and are still interested
1:48
Speaker 2: in buying some whitetail gear, head on over to the
1:50
Speaker 2: site and check it out. Okay, that's enough salesy stuff.
1:54
Speaker 2: It's time to talk about deer. And I know I
1:56
Speaker 2: said I was going to talk about some cool whitetail
1:58
Speaker 2: facts last week, but something recently reminded me of a
2:01
Speaker 2: topic that I just need to cover. I think it'll
2:03
Speaker 2: help you kill more dear, which is what I was
2:06
Speaker 2: originally gonna do, and I wanted you to have that
2:09
Speaker 2: help with So there's that and here's this. One of
2:19
Speaker 2: the reasons I hate being in the public eye is
2:22
Speaker 2: well dealing with the public. That's not a humble brig
2:26
Speaker 2: to let you know how famous I am. It's just
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Speaker 2: the truth. I'm an introvert mostly, and I don't like
2:32
Speaker 2: talking to strangers. I guess in that way, I wasn't
2:35
Speaker 2: a great candidate to get into a white van with
2:37
Speaker 2: no windows promising free puppies when I was eight, No,
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Speaker 2: thank you, mister. I'm also not that great at relationships. Really,
2:45
Speaker 2: I kind of just suck as a person overall, but
2:47
Speaker 2: specifically on the relationship front. I learned something recently that
2:51
Speaker 2: has been kind of a revelation for me. You see,
2:54
Speaker 2: when we deal with friends and family in very low
2:57
Speaker 2: level hunting celebrities and we our spouses, we are often
3:02
Speaker 2: looking for them to do something for us. Now, sure,
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Speaker 2: there are selfless people out there who really only do
3:09
Speaker 2: things out of the goodness of their hearts, but mostly
3:12
Speaker 2: most of us are looking for mutually beneficial arrangements with
3:16
Speaker 2: the people around us. That probably sounds worse than I
3:19
Speaker 2: mean it to. It's not that we are all quid
3:22
Speaker 2: pro quo transactionists. I mean, we aren't all politicians, so
3:26
Speaker 2: our desires are often more benign and innocent, or so
3:30
Speaker 2: we think. There's a concept in relationships called covert contracts.
3:35
Speaker 2: This is a term coined by the author doctor Robert Glover,
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Speaker 2: who wrote the book No More Mister Nice Guy. I'll
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Speaker 2: explain what a covert contract is in a second, but
3:46
Speaker 2: let me first tell you what an overt contract is.
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Speaker 2: This is a healthy agreement between two people, that is,
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Speaker 2: you know, debated on, worked out whatever, negotiated, and then
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Speaker 2: they agree. An easy example would be if you would
3:59
Speaker 2: rather hold a police taser to your nuts than spend
4:02
Speaker 2: a minute with your in laws. So you tell your
4:04
Speaker 2: wife that you'll do Thanksgiving with her lunatic family if
4:08
Speaker 2: she'll do Christmas with the perfect angels who raised you.
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Speaker 2: If she agrees to those terms, that's an overt contract.
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Speaker 2: Simple right. It's a compromise where you both get something
4:19
Speaker 2: you want and you both sacrifice a little bit. Another
4:23
Speaker 2: overt contract would be if you meet someone who owns
4:26
Speaker 2: land that you want to hunt, like I did recently.
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Speaker 2: Maybe the owner wants to hunt, maybe they love venison,
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Speaker 2: but he doesn't know what he's doing, so you agree
4:34
Speaker 2: to provide stands and safety harnesses, cameras, and a whole
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Speaker 2: lot of know how to the situation. He gets to
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Speaker 2: learn about deer and deer hunting. He will likely get
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Speaker 2: some venison, and you, or in this case me, gets
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Speaker 2: a new place to hunt. Now, as long as everyone
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Speaker 2: sticks with it, the deal is pretty simple and it's
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Speaker 2: beneficial all involved. The flip side of an overt contract
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Speaker 2: is a covert contract. These are bad. This is when
5:01
Speaker 2: you make a deal with someone in your head and
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Speaker 2: then get angry with them for not reading your mind
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Speaker 2: and honoring the deal. Does that sound kind of nuts?
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Speaker 2: It's not, because we all do it. Let me give
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Speaker 2: you an example. My wife recently got mad at me
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Speaker 2: for not replacing the sink in our kitchen. You might think, well, shoot, man,
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Speaker 2: get that sink replaced, since it's obviously broken or not
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Speaker 2: functioning correctly. But I would say, hold on, mister smarty pants.
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Speaker 2: The sink and the faucet and pretty much all parts
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Speaker 2: of it work just fine. It looks good too, at
5:31
Speaker 2: least to my eye. But for whatever reason, I don't know,
5:35
Speaker 2: probably some past head trauma or maybe bad jeans, my
5:38
Speaker 2: wife decided she wanted a new sink. She also decided
5:42
Speaker 2: she wanted me, the least handy guy you'll ever meet,
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Speaker 2: to replace it. So she made a deal with me
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Speaker 2: that I'd never agree to and then got mad at
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Speaker 2: me for not living up to it. Isn't that wacky?
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Speaker 2: Well I do that stuff to her too. It's a
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Speaker 2: two way street that makes marriage super fun kids. A
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Speaker 2: good thing about it, if there is, is that if
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Speaker 2: you're aware that you make these covert contracts with people,
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Speaker 2: you can stop, or you can at least not get
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Speaker 2: mad at them when they don't live up to an unspoken,
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Speaker 2: invisible agreement that they had no clue existed. Acknowledging that
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Speaker 2: will also make you a better communicator, which is awful
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Speaker 2: important if you don't want some blonde suburb dweller with
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Speaker 2: a weird new sink fetish to take half of your
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Speaker 2: hunting land and maybe your new boat and a divorce.
6:27
Speaker 2: Covert contracts are bad in marriage and friendships, really all relationships.
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Speaker 2: This applies to the relationships that we have with our
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Speaker 2: favorite game animals too, like the I don't know regal
6:40
Speaker 2: and Majestic Lemur. Just kidding, it's the Cape Buffalo. Don't
6:44
Speaker 2: feel bad. I don't like myself either, of course, it's
6:47
Speaker 2: the white tail. We make deals with him all the time,
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Speaker 2: and you know what that rap bastard often does. He
6:54
Speaker 2: breaks them. Then we get mad at him, and we
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Speaker 2: become even worse hunters, until we spiral so far down
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Speaker 2: the into the abyss of depression that we start thinking
7:02
Speaker 2: about doing something much easier that takes no skill at all,
7:05
Speaker 2: like golf. Let me give you some examples of times
7:08
Speaker 2: I made covert contracts with deer that will probably be
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Speaker 2: awfully relatable to most of you. How about like all
7:14
Speaker 2: the work you do in the preseason, like the winter scouting,
7:17
Speaker 2: the summer scouting, the trail camera work, the glassing, the
7:19
Speaker 2: stand hanging, the cutting trails, planning, food plots, whatever you
7:24
Speaker 2: say to the white tail gods, I've done all of
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Speaker 2: this work, and I've put in all this effort, and
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Speaker 2: now you should deliver unto me one I don't know,
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Speaker 2: one hundred and thirty seven inch eleven point with nice
7:34
Speaker 2: G two's and a twenty inch inside spread. But instead
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Speaker 2: you see does and fawns and little bucks and no
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Speaker 2: deer that could remotely be rounded up to one forty.
7:43
Speaker 2: The deal is broken, and you become sad, or maybe
7:46
Speaker 2: you say again to the great deer gods in the
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Speaker 2: sky that you have a busy schedule. You have three
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Speaker 2: little kids at home, a wife who really wants a
7:55
Speaker 2: new sink, and a job where your boss is one
7:58
Speaker 2: of those micromanaging losers who have there's no hobbies and
8:00
Speaker 2: lives to make everyone think he works so much harder
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Speaker 2: than everyone else. Your vacation time is a precious commodity,
8:07
Speaker 2: So you say, I'm going to take the first week
8:09
Speaker 2: of November off. I won't get much time to hunt
8:13
Speaker 2: before that, but if I put in all days sits
8:15
Speaker 2: for a week, then I'll certainly get the good end
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Speaker 2: of this deal, which is that a big buck will
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Speaker 2: come by and I will shoot him. He might, but
8:23
Speaker 2: he also might not, And even if he does, there's
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Speaker 2: a lot that can go wrong. Before you're high five
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Speaker 2: and your buddy at the end of a short blood trail.
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Speaker 2: The contract again is broken. In a relationship. When that happens,
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Speaker 2: it's a recipe for resentment and anger and the idea
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Speaker 2: that you should get back at them somehow. This stems
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Speaker 2: from fear of rejection and low self esteem. I'd say
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Speaker 2: a lot of us in our relationship with deer come
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Speaker 2: at it from a place of fearing real rejection and
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Speaker 2: having low confidence that we will get our shit together
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Speaker 2: and kill a good buck or any deer. If that
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Speaker 2: happens to be the phase you're in, you don't want
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Speaker 2: to be mad at the deer for not doing what
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Speaker 2: you expect them to, because in that case, you're just
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Speaker 2: gonnahunt less and you're gonna enjoy hunting less and it's
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Speaker 2: not gonna go too well. The only deal they make
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Speaker 2: with us is that they'll be out there somewhere trying
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Speaker 2: their hardest to never ever cross paths with us. So
9:19
Speaker 2: we need to reframe our thinking. The deer don't owe
9:23
Speaker 2: us anything. The basis for that no More Mister nice
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Speaker 2: Guy book I mentioned at the beginning is that there
9:30
Speaker 2: are guys out there who try to be fake nice
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Speaker 2: to women and treat them like princesses, believing that if
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Speaker 2: they do, the ladies won't be able to help themselves
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Speaker 2: and they'll reward them in a very few specific not
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Speaker 2: safe for work ways. This rarely works because even though
9:45
Speaker 2: women are really crazy about their sink demands, they aren't dumb.
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Speaker 2: They'll see this disingenuous nice guy act and they go,
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Speaker 2: I know what you're looking for and it's not gonna happen.
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Speaker 2: Then the nice guys get mad and they say women
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Speaker 2: only want mean dudes, which is dewan fellas who are
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Speaker 2: direct and honest about their intentions. The deer, just like
10:05
Speaker 2: those savvy ladies, know what you're after. There's no divine
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Speaker 2: hand on the scale watching you hunt and deciding you've
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Speaker 2: put in the requisite work and you deserve a big buck.
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Speaker 2: It's about you putting yourself in a position to be
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Speaker 2: where they are while they don't know you're there. That's
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Speaker 2: about it. We aren't owed anything from the woods, and
10:34
Speaker 2: the sooner we accept that. The sooner we can take
10:37
Speaker 2: the act of hunting white tails for what it is,
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Speaker 2: a really cool, super challenging opportunity that might break our
10:44
Speaker 2: way if we keep a good attitude and we keep
10:46
Speaker 2: putting in the effort. Even though this isn't as easy
10:49
Speaker 2: as it sounds. Take that out of state trip you
10:52
Speaker 2: want to go on with your buddies. For example, we
10:55
Speaker 2: make a covert contract with whatever state that is good
11:00
Speaker 2: and a jack oft the license prices and sell us
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Speaker 2: a super expensive non resident tag and take advantage of
11:04
Speaker 2: us because we have no voting power. But in return,
11:07
Speaker 2: they're going to give us a nice buck, simple, straightforward.
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Speaker 2: But you aren't being sold a possession ticket with a
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Speaker 2: buck already attached to it. You're being sold an opportunity,
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Speaker 2: one that solely promises you the chance to come to
11:21
Speaker 2: whatever state and try to see if you can get
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Speaker 2: the deer to walk in front of you without knowing
11:27
Speaker 2: you're there. A lot of hunters focus on the end result,
11:31
Speaker 2: or what they think should be the end result, and
11:33
Speaker 2: totally dismiss the reality that it's a licensed hunt, not
11:37
Speaker 2: a guarantee that you'll kill a certain class of animal,
11:40
Speaker 2: because most people won't and for some that breeds resentment
11:44
Speaker 2: and anger. Now I get that I'm distilling this way
11:48
Speaker 2: down because there are a million variables that go into
11:50
Speaker 2: an out of state trip or any hunt for that matter,
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Speaker 2: But the truth is that it's easy to be resentful
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Speaker 2: of an unfilled expensive non resident tag, all that time
12:00
Speaker 2: and money down the drain with nothing to show for
12:02
Speaker 2: it except some extra miles on your truck. That's a
12:06
Speaker 2: bad way to look at it, and it isn't going
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Speaker 2: to help your cause. If you ever decide to travel
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Speaker 2: for white tails or any other critter, don't make a
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Speaker 2: covert contract with a fishing game agency, because they will
12:16
Speaker 2: let you down and they won't know. And I promise
12:19
Speaker 2: you this, they won't care because they don't make a
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Speaker 2: deal that you'll kill an animal, only that you'll get
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Speaker 2: to hunt. You've heard me say this a lot, but
12:28
Speaker 2: it bears repeating. Your attitude about hunting is important. It
12:32
Speaker 2: might be the most important aspect of the whole thing
12:35
Speaker 2: for many of us. Much of it involves just thinking
12:37
Speaker 2: about things a little bit differently. This is where hunting
12:41
Speaker 2: with newcomers can help you find a new equilibrium. When
12:44
Speaker 2: I help with my daughters, they are pretty interested in
12:46
Speaker 2: every animal that we see. They appreciate the newness of
12:49
Speaker 2: it all and the wonder of the woods. They really do.
12:53
Speaker 2: I don't, not as often as I should, and that's
12:56
Speaker 2: a problem. I've seen roughly three million squirrels doing squirrel
12:59
Speaker 2: things while sitting on stand, so it's not that interesting
13:02
Speaker 2: to me to see a squirrel, but to them it
13:04
Speaker 2: is a doe walking into the other end of the field.
13:07
Speaker 2: Is mildly interesting to me, but it's a big deal
13:11
Speaker 2: to them. They are interested and curious, and that's a
13:13
Speaker 2: good way to go about stuff. It's a hedge against
13:17
Speaker 2: resentment and bitterness a sort of mind hack, if you will.
13:21
Speaker 2: If you go into the woods with a specific expectation
13:24
Speaker 2: about how things are going to go, you are almost
13:27
Speaker 2: always setting yourself up for disappointment. You know, unless you're
13:31
Speaker 2: on a stupid good property that no one else hunts,
13:34
Speaker 2: predictable positive outcomes are few and far between. Instead of
13:39
Speaker 2: looking at a sit where you blanked as being a
13:41
Speaker 2: total failure and a waste of time, ask yourself, why
13:44
Speaker 2: weren't they there? What does it mean? Or better yet,
13:48
Speaker 2: what can you learn from that big old goosegg of
13:50
Speaker 2: a sit? Did it reaffirm your suspicions that you've burned
13:53
Speaker 2: out a spot? Did you think they'd be eating soybeans?
13:56
Speaker 2: But clearly there in the woods nomin on some acorns
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Speaker 2: or something else where? Will you go tomorrow to redeem yourself?
14:03
Speaker 2: Instead of making a covert contract with the deer gods
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Speaker 2: who simply laugh at your follies, make an overt contract
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Speaker 2: with mother Nature. You'll put in the work and keep
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Speaker 2: after it, and she will eventually give you what you
14:14
Speaker 2: came for. It really can be that simple. If you're
14:18
Speaker 2: willing to put in what is necessary over and over
14:21
Speaker 2: and over again, you will be successful. That might not
14:25
Speaker 2: mean you'll kill booners every year, because let's be honest,
14:27
Speaker 2: if you're listening to this podcast, the one hundred and
14:30
Speaker 2: seventy inches are pretty safe from you. But you might
14:32
Speaker 2: kill a good one, or you might just have the
14:35
Speaker 2: season where you're around more deer than ever, where you
14:38
Speaker 2: go into the woods and see deer behavior and have
14:41
Speaker 2: those streaks where you know when you slip into the
14:43
Speaker 2: woods you're going to be around deer. I don't think
14:45
Speaker 2: there's anything more fun than the anticipation of going in
14:48
Speaker 2: just knowing and believing in your heart of hearts that
14:51
Speaker 2: you're going to see a bunch of deer. In fact,
14:54
Speaker 2: it makes me feel a little bad for the people
14:55
Speaker 2: who have such good hunting that they see tons of
14:58
Speaker 2: deer every time they go, only get real excited when
15:01
Speaker 2: a buck they've named and watched for seven years shows up.
15:05
Speaker 2: They'll never know what it's like to string together several
15:07
Speaker 2: clunkers where you'd actually pay to have a squirrel to watch,
15:10
Speaker 2: and then suddenly stumble into something where you see five
15:13
Speaker 2: or six and one sit. It's probably similar to what
15:16
Speaker 2: I hear happens when people get giardia and they ruin
15:19
Speaker 2: their skivvies with embarrassing frequency until they get the right
15:22
Speaker 2: meds and it clears up and they feel like the
15:24
Speaker 2: world is once again a loving and special place. That
15:26
Speaker 2: is straight out of a diarrhea free Disney movie. Real
15:30
Speaker 2: hunting is unpredictable, and that means it's going to break
15:33
Speaker 2: the wrong way a lot. But the wrong way is
15:36
Speaker 2: really in the eye of the beholder. Sure it sucks
15:38
Speaker 2: to suck, but that's a temporary condition. If you use
15:41
Speaker 2: those CITs to figure something out and motivate yourself to
15:44
Speaker 2: keep going to live up to your side of the contract.
15:48
Speaker 2: So do that. Make a deal with the White deal
15:50
Speaker 2: gods or Mother Nature or whoever, and then stick to it. Now,
15:54
Speaker 2: they might flake out and leave you disappointed at the
15:56
Speaker 2: end of the season, but if you keep working on
15:57
Speaker 2: your end, the odds of them not delivering get lower
16:01
Speaker 2: and lower until it's almost and I mean almost, a
16:05
Speaker 2: certainty that something good will happen and you'll get your chance. Also,
16:10
Speaker 2: I mean this with sincerity. Think about those COVID contracts
16:13
Speaker 2: you've made with the folks you care about the most.
16:16
Speaker 2: They are a relationship killer and a fast tracked of
16:19
Speaker 2: misery for all involved. Do that and come back next
16:22
Speaker 2: week because I'm going to talk about how complex deer
16:24
Speaker 2: really are and why that kind of matters and why
16:27
Speaker 2: it kind of doesn't. That's it for this week. I'm
16:31
Speaker 2: Tony Peterson. This has been the Wired Hunt Foundation's podcast,
16:34
Speaker 2: which is brought to you by First Light. As always,
16:37
Speaker 2: thank you so much for listening, for all your support,
16:40
Speaker 2: for heading over there checking out or a white tail
16:41
Speaker 2: week and the sales we got going on all that
16:43
Speaker 2: good stuff. While you're there, if you want some more
16:46
Speaker 2: white tail content, or you want to watch some videos,
16:48
Speaker 2: listen to some podcasts, whatever, it's all there. Look around.
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Speaker 2: You're going to find stuff that you didn't even know
16:54
Speaker 2: Media Too was producing. Maybe you want to cook a
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Speaker 2: all there. Go check it out the dot com. Hmm