Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 115 I Don’t Even Like Women with Natalie Runion

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Episode 115 I Don’t Even Like Women with Natalie Runion · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is Cynthia Gannock, and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hey friends, welcome to the podcast.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm so glad you are joining us today.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have Natalie Renyon on, and she is a friend of mine.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have been publishing with the same publisher for our books, and I have just had the joy and privilege of watching the Lord put an incredible message on her heart.
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: In her last couple of books and this one is no different and today we're talking about I don't even like women and other lives to get in the way of sacred sisterhood and I don't know one of us that doesn't need this message.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: This idea of we've all been hurt by women and we probably all hurt women ourselves And how do we stop competing and instead collaborate on a professional level on a ministry level on a friendship level
• 1:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: and how do we raise kind girls, our daughters, and so she has such a God-given word in this area and I'm thrilled for you to hear from her today.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm also going to give you a little heads up that this conversation, I cut it in half, so it's going to be two weeks.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: The first half is this week, second half is next week.
• 1:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's because I think it's so good that I want it in digestible parts and pieces where we can think about it and then come back next week and hit the rest of it.
• 1:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: But it does have an awkward cut off.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm just acknowledging that that you're going to be like, oh, it felt like we're in the middle of conversation and then it ended.
• 1:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, that's because we are going to finish it next week.
• 1:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, you guys, for sure, check out this book.
• 1:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is available as of this week.
• 1:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would love for you to grab a copy.
• 1:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Again, it's called, I don't even like women.
• 1:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm just so thrilled to have my friend Natalie here.
• 1:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, let's kick it off, week one.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Here we go.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Natalie, welcome to the podcast.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: How are you?
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I am so good, it's great to be back.
• 1:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh, it's so fun to have you back.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: I say as I feel like every time and now, if you list this podcast lot, you're like, we know this.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: But Natalie and I are like, friends from a long time ago, we published with the same publisher and we met at, where was that?
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Somewhere, where were we in Tennessee?
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Where were we when we met?
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it was North Carolina.
• 2:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, you're right.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was North Carolina.
• 2:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so we are North Carolina and you hadn't written one yet.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: How do you, I have, and I was in the process.
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, we were still very new.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were in the process and both of our books were coming out around the same time, I think.
• 2:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: OK, that's right.
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so we met, and then it's just been so fun to watch how the Lord has used all that you're doing.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so tell everybody, well, first of all, tell everybody where you're on life.
• 2:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Kids has been all the things.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: But then, tell us the first couple of books, too.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I live in Kentucky.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have two teenage daughters.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've got a 13 year old and a 16 year old.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So one started driving, one just turned into a teenager.
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's been a busy year in our household.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I have been married 18 years.
• 3:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he is incredible.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like, I tell women or young girls, like, don't marry a man who only likes you for who you are in the moment.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, Mary and man who's going to love you for who you're becoming because, you know, my husband married a gym teacher.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't marry an author and a,
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: woman preacher.
• 3:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: So he is like the source of like other than the Lord.
• 3:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: He is the source of how I get to do what I do.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, we're just in that stage of life and back in 2019 started that raised to state Instagram account.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: which then became my first book raised to stay in 2023.
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was crazy and had three book babies in two years.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I did raise to stay, then the house that Jesus built.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And now what we're gonna talk about today, I don't even like women.
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So thank you for championing all three of these.
• 3:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's been my pleasure and it's they're easy to champion because they're so good.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like and I can say some of my own life too.
• 3:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's some things that are like the God things.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's some things that are Cynthia things and sometimes it's hard for me to determine which ones are which like I'm like, oh gosh, like I got to stand down a little bit.
• 4:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like there's been no question in the messages and the words given you that they're God things because to be honest, like some of them have been so hard to say and to put out there and you've taken some heat for some of this that I'm like, only God.
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like there's no way that you were like, I think I'll sign up for this one.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like is that true?
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: People ask me all the time.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're like, when did you become like this?
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: When did you just not care?
• 4:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, I don't think that I don't care about how I say things or whatever.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just feel like the Lord puts such an urgency in my spirit to see people healed and hold through the power of the Holy Spirit, not through just my words, but as a conduit.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so there was an urgency that I felt that if I don't get this out, I'm going to be disobedient.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's really been what has driven not being afraid of what people say about me, comment sections, it's just obedience is my only option.
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you haven't followed Natalie, then you need to.
• 5:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, the whole world has followed Natalie.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like you literally went from like, what?
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like 10 followers to half a million or something in sanity like that.
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, the follower thing on Instagram is so crazy because some people just follow you to troll you.
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And other people, to like really know, like what it is that you're doing and what you're saying from the Lord.
• 5:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so actually in the last couple of months as I've stopped, you know, maybe,
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: sympathizing with the church hurt community, which is really where I started.
• 5:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've lost.
• 5:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've lost probably 50,000 followers in the last six months by simply encouraging people to heal.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I will say, that's discouraging sometimes, but you know, like we said, Jesus didn't call us to build followers.
• 5:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: He called us to grow disciples.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, really that's what I'm hoping the social media account is, is people who are like minded who want to be disciples and go and
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, if you're not falling or you need to.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so she's had these like black boxes that are so cool, just in her earlier books with just like truths.
• 6:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: But one that I'm going to butcher this, but I always stick with me that you basically were, we're knocking on the fact that like, why do we have green rooms?
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why are we, why are we Christian famous out there?
• 6:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, well, I don't, do you remember the exact quote on a remember what it was?
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: But oh, yes, because I still get heat for it.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was if we're going to be construct the church, let's start with green rooms.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, oh, yes, you did just say that and and yes, you should have just said that and so just this whole idea that you've had all along is just like,
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: be the church.
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like we don't need to be influencers, we don't need to be famous, we don't need to.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I also like to speak in a church hurt and you're like, yeah, me too.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now let's get back at the point of what we're doing here.
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so it's been awesome.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: When I saw the title of your new book, I don't even like women.
• 6:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: I like bust out laughing.
• 6:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, only you could put this book out.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's so fantastic, the title so genius.
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: As a girl who just recently titled the second book and it's like angushing, trying to top, was this easy?
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, did you just knew this was what it was gonna be called?
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you know how it is.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You play it safe for your first couple of books because you don't want your publisher to think you're insane.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think by the time I got to this book, I had already had two titles in my head.
• 7:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had a safe title and I had this title.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I had actually not only said this, but had heard so many women say it, that I knew it had been tested.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I don't like,
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: recommend taking giant risks unless you've tested the risk.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I knew that this title was not only going to help the book stand out, but it was going to resonate with so many women, just based off the fact that every time I sat with a woman in ministry, this phrase had come out of her mouth.
• 7:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so guys, the title of the book is I don't even like women and other lies that get in the way of sacred sisterhood.
• 7:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so obviously the byline, the subline is important there.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: But the lies that we've all believed.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's funny, I was just having lunch with the friend and I was talking to her about you and that we were going to really talk about this.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was saying,
• 8:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: even from personal experience.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm an extrovert and I know a lot of people and I love being around a lot of people and I've done a lot of ministry things over the years.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: But the hardest hit I've ever taken was from a woman in ministry.
• 8:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And like still echoes in my head and in fact in the last months something came up and opportunity to do something.
• 8:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was kept saying, no, no, no, no, my husband's like, why are you saying no?
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I said because it might be perceived as, and it was literally the thing that I'd been beaten up about from this person all this years ago.
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I bring that up not to air my dirty laundry.
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't even worry, guys.
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: This isn't my counseling session.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I bring it up because,
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is so easy to have that kind of hurt, that kind of something out women to women, things that happens.
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then it can throw off, like your trajectory of what God's calling you to do, whether that's on a professional or a ministry level, or just as an individual, like as a mom, that's been told this thing.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then you're like, well, I'm not a good enough mom.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not good enough for this or that.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so I love that you're saying, like, we got to figure this out.
• 9:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: So there's not even a question in there.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just going to let you take it from that.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, when I talk about the lies or the scripts that have been written over us, it's not just Hollywood who's basically named movies like Mean Girls and Gossip Girls, television show, like we get told from a very young age.
• 9:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Scripts that we are supposed to follow if we want to be popular, if we want to be successful.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then you add the scripts that are own parents speak over us, our own teachers, our coaches, other people's parents, other people's moms.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I tell a story in there about a mom who called me a hypochondriac because I told her I had a headache on a girl scout retreat and thinking, for the rest of my life that I was this hypochondriac who was an inconvenience.
• 9:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: if I just had a headache and how that followed me into adulthood every time I felt bad I felt like I couldn't say that because I would be perceived to your point this certain way and so we really start growing up with these scripts so loud in our heads and for a lot of women who weren't raised in the church.
• 10:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the only script they've had written over them for some of us who are raised in the church We also know there's a better word through the word of God where Jesus speaks God speaks the Holy Spirit Speaks to who we are in Christ and so this book what I wanted to do is say yes These are the scripts that have been written over us, but this is who God says we are and if we can believe
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: that all of us are worthy of friendship, love, community, and we start to be what we actually needed.
• 10:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: We could help the church heal women to woman and not be fearful that we're going to be hurt, but that we actually could help heal people through speaking the better word over each other's lives and this takes a lot of personal work.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you know this to be a healthy enough woman, to actually champion other women without feeling like their win is our loss and vice versa.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, absolutely.
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so is the heart of this book and as we're going into some talking about it today?
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Is the heart of it for women and other women in ministry?
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Is it really just women in life or is it friendships?
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like what are you hoping to speak into?
• 11:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, all of it.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, all of it.
• 11:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I think as women, like Christian women, non-Christian women, church women, business women, we all have a unifying thing.
• 11:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's that God made us women.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And since the very beginning in Genesis, Satan knew we were forced to be reckoned with because he didn't mess with.
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: He went to the woman and made her question if she actually heard from her father, from her creator.
• 11:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's really what he does to us even now, whether we're believers or non-believers, his whole hope is that he will deceive us.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: into thinking that one we can't hear from God and two that we're not worth community and that we're just a sinful creatures who aren't ever going to get anything right and so that's really what I want this book to carry is hope that as you are learning about who God is, as you are learning about why you were created as a woman because God doesn't make mistakes.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't forget and accidentally make you a girl like he knew you were going to be a woman.
• 12:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like he wired us with emotions and with being extra flurry about things.
• 12:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're supposed to be okay liking fashion.
• 12:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: We do our things about some of us love sports.
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some of us love girly things.
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Others of us don't, but that doesn't make us a mistake.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't make us like broken.
• 12:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And these lies that have been written over us now, especially through social media telling us this is what a successful woman looks like.
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is what a really good Christian woman looks like.
• 12:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: It gets so convoluted in our heads and I just wanted this book to help debunk those lies that started in the garden and bring us through that redemption arc to who God says we really are.
• 12:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, yes, I spoke at a big event like last weekend or they came before and they wanted me to speak on friendship and I was like, okay, well, I've got about 25 minutes on friendship.
• 12:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know that I got 45 and I was like literally my head going through this, but then I realized something I'm like, it all at the end of the day, it does come down to identity, which is kind of what you're hitting on to like,
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: But at the end of the day, if we don't know who we are and who's we are, it's so hard for us to be healthy and to move the ball forward in our relationships and what are calling us and all of that.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so I did, I kind of made the joke.
• 13:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, if you think I'm going to give the same boring talk, we always give about identity like I am like here we go because I do believe.
• 13:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: it changes if you know who you are and you can find your confidence in that.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: It changes how you live your days.
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean you just are willing to do things that don't make sense or willing to do things that are hard or willing to take heat on Instagram for talking about green rams because you know like I know who I am and how he's created me for the moment this moment and time to do this thing.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so I was
• 13:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's there's question coming.
• 13:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't anybody panic out there that I was thinking about this and when when when we're little and like kids are mean to us or even when my my daughter was younger and a girl would be mean I would tend to think well They're just not very confident in themselves right and you don't want to bash that person but there's truth in that so speak to us a little bit about that And how do you talk to to your people if your daughter is about this like when there's the main girls and this identity issue and all that
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I talk about it in the book, how, as moms, especially, we want to tell our daughters, oh, they're just jealous of you, they're just, they're just, they're just, and here's the deal with that.
• 14:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: What that ends up doing is making our daughters who really do love girls, they want people to know Jesus, what it makes them do is actually dull their shine to not become a target.
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what we don't want to do is make our own daughters feel guilty for being a good athlete, for being a good student, for being a nice person that teachers like, you know, or coaches favor, not because they're like, you know, the popular kid or whatever, but because they're just over all kind kids, we don't want them to perceive someone as jealous of them, then make them compromise who they are in Christ.
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So really, we've started to reframe it with our daughters of why don't we start praying for this individual and start asking the Lord to give us some ways that we can encourage them, ways that we can pray for them because my assumption is, and it's an assumption, is that something is happening in that person's life to make them either feel inferior or insecure, and something about you is just rubbing them the wrong way.
• 15:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: How can we love them well?
• 15:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so rather than focus on your too much, you need to calm down so they're not jealous of you,
• 15:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: make them have some sort of false security that's not in Christ that you're just pretty and that's what the problem is.
• 15:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: But really put it back on how can we love that person to a place where they know you're for them and not against them?
• 15:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
• 15:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: You say this in the book, I love it, so I'm going to read a little section, it says, so let's get rid of the queen bees and get to work harvesting a honey that will sweeten even those most sour souls looking for sacred sisterhood.
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: We all have to break down some lies, confront some stereotypes driven by mainstream media and our own biases, and deal with our need for popularity and acceptance.
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I think we're up for the challenge, I need you, I already love you, and I really like you, Natalie.
• 16:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: I felt that was darling and so let's talk about that for ourselves and our daughters.
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: The stereotypes driven by mainstream media and really even maybe like our parents like what are the stereotypes that are driving this unhealthiness?
• 16:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, I mean, all I think about are like the sitcoms we grew up on the 90s.
• 16:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like you've got saved by the bell, you've got friends.
• 16:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, all of these different views end to people's homes and to their school of what it looks like to not just drive in life, but to actually survive.
• 16:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you want to survive, here's how you have to behave, here's how you have to dress, here's the kind of job you have to have.
• 16:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's following us throughout, not just our childhood, but we carry that.
• 16:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then we put that on our own kids.
• 16:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: even though it's not even true and so when I talk about these mainstream lives that we are not caricatures of who the world says that we should be but unique individual creatures who are so specifically wired for very specific kingdom work and that those scripts are going to look different for every woman for every girl and that we have to stop.
• 17:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: contributing to that stereotype.
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And start speaking the word of God over each other, not just speaking what we've learned.
• 17:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And again, when I looked in the scriptures, it was really hard to find models of female friendship.
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have male friendship throughout the scriptures.
• 17:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: You got Don the Baptist in Jesus.
• 17:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've got, you know, David and John, if then you put all these people, got Cain and Abel, which isn't a great example, but it's an example.
• 17:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but really when I started looking, those scriptures are really specific and the female friendships that they show us through Deborah and J.L.
• 17:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: through Esther and Ruth, through Mary and Elizabeth, and I just thought, wow, even in the scriptures, God is very intentional on what he wants us to understand about female friendships.
• 17:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And those three stories alone really helped guide me in rewriting that narrative for us as women believers.
• 18:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and so what if you had to like thumbnail it, those from those stories and really studying that, what's the thumbnail that you feel like scripture is pointing towards in friendships?
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Collaboration hands down.
• 18:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, J.L.
• 18:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: in Deborah, very different part of society, very different roles, and yet through the prophetic nature of Deborah and the obedience of J.L.
• 18:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: there was this collaboration that brought 40 years of peace to Israel.
• 18:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: We look at Ruth and Naomi.
• 18:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a multi-generational collaboration that overcame competition.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Look, these two women could have been very trauma bonded and bonded off of loss and bitterness.
• 18:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Call me Maro.
• 18:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It could have been a lot of bitterness.
• 18:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what it was was something that would drive forward
• 18:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: This very specific thing that they were going to do together, and then you've got Mary and Elizabeth, you know Elizabeth Been wanting a child.
• 18:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's been desperate for a child, and then Elizabeth are you know Mary comes running down And it's like guess what I'm gonna give first to the son of God and you know Elizabeth could have been like wait It's still my thunder Mary like Waiting and really what happened was was a collaboration of John the Baptist leaving in her womb and eventually he would become the four runner of Jesus He would become that holy harbinger
• 19:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you see these partnerships so strategic in the scriptures that show us that collaboration will kill competition.
• 19:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I carry is not in competition with what you carry, but actually a harbinger to declare the coming of the Lord.
• 19:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so if we could see that in each other, I think we'd be less competitive and more excited about what God is doing in each other's lives versus comparing and competing.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: I met with someone at a seminary in the last year to talk about something and and we were talking about just how women's place in the church and and everyone stand down.
• 19:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not getting super controversial but kind of but how though you know there's been all this historical debate of what's the women's role in church and women's place in church and.
• 19:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, I even get DMs on occasion from people because I've preached at my church and they're like, hey, that's um, biblical.
• 20:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, I get it.
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not trying to get into that whole thing.
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: But he said something that this this very conservative symphony professor, symphony professor, and he's like, he's like, you know, I'm so glad that we're letting women or,
• 20:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: not even letting that we're acknowledging that women have a spot in all this, but he said, you know, I don't think men have been the biggest deterrent of women being able to fulfill their callings in the church.
• 20:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's women that have been the biggest deterrent.
• 20:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm curious what you think of that.
• 20:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I say it all the time, like women are so quick to remind women where they belong.
• 20:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is a whole chapter in the book it's called Women Belong in the dot dot dot dot.
• 20:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you will see more arguments between stay at home moms and working moms than you'll see anywhere else in the church where a working mom says no women can belong in the CEO corporate office and be a mom and stay at home mom say no your ministry should you know be your number one ministry should be your family and they will go at it round and round trying to convince the other
• 20:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: that this is where they belong.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then when you get into the theological debate and denominational debate, on whether or not women can preach or teach or lead men or whatever, it is always women who want to jump in and try to tell women you don't belong here.
• 21:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think at the end of the day, this goes back to the chaos and confusion that the enemy is hoping that we'll continue with in women because he knows that once we're unified we're forced to be reckoned with.
• 21:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is
• 21:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: we need to be so confident in our convictions.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care the denomination you were raised in.
• 21:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't care about any of that.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: The goal is that we would just continue to pray for each other, support each other, and champion each other, even in theological disagreement.
• 21:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even when we think it's better for a woman to stay home or it's better for a woman to work, that it wouldn't matter, that we would just be so unified on the fact that we want what's best for our kids,
• 21:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: what's best for our families, what's best for our ministries, what's best for our jobs, what's best for the church, that we would be more focused on that than our opinion of where the other falls.
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And again, it goes back to your identity crisis, the thing that we were talking about when we are not confident in who we are, then the person that is reminding us that they know who they are becomes a threat.
• 22:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's really at the end of the day what I think the issue is, is that we're intimidated by women who know who they are and when we ourselves are questioning who we are.
• 22:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, and then if we start tearing down the women who know who they are, then I mean, my goodness, nobody's bulletproof, right?
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: As some point, I mean, and as a girl, like I kind of mentioned earlier, as a girl, he's been fairly confident in God's calling on my life over the years.
• 22:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: It just took one person to hit, right?
• 22:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, that's the enemy.
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: The enemy knows what's going to get me.
• 22:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: The enemy's going to plant the words in there.
• 22:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I just don't want to ever be the enemy's vehicle and some other women's calling.
• 22:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that's, I mean, what I saw happen to me that I don't think the person who said the things to me is a bad person.
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: I will spend all eternity with this person as person knows the Lord.
• 22:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: But the enemy knew what to say and found the person to say it to shut me down.
• 22:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we just don't, we don't want to do that to other women, right?
• 23:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it just starts so early too Natalie, like I think about like as early motherhood, like the debate of, you know, like,
• 23:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: She's breastfeeding.
• 23:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's formula like all these things and then we're gonna do public school now We're gonna do private school and oh, man.
• 23:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: They spank.
• 23:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, they didn't spank or they did like all the way through We're still beating each other up like oh now they're gentle parents.
• 23:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: So the worst parents out there.
• 23:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like It goes all the way through it goes through colleges.
• 23:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Are we getting them in the right colleges?
• 23:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: Are we not if we?
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we didn't do they didn't hire someone for the right college resume and I'm like gosh I don't remember one time when my husband
• 23:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: came home and he's like, well, man, I got an argument at work with someone about public versus private.
• 23:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, now, I just don't feel like they get beat up on that level, like we beat each other.
• 23:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I say all the time that women need to like become...
• 23:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: professionals at the ministry of minding your own business.
• 23:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like we just like realize that we've got enough junk going on in our own lives.
• 24:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But here's what I realize is that as women, it is much easier to take all of this emotion that we have, all of this energy and focus it on somebody else.
• 24:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is why gossip is so bad in the church.
• 24:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: is because we would rather focus on somebody else's misfortune or somebody else's bad decision, their protocol, whatever it is, then to actually be vulnerable about our own shortcomings in our own faults.
• 24:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that what you're talking about, this person who spoke this over you, I talk about what happens when our pallets are Paul, the person who should be speaking over us,
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: all kinds of affirmation and encouragement, also accountability, suddenly becomes our soul, and I call that our soul at, and how detrimental it is to us as women when we have someone we look up to who we want to be, like, suddenly be trius.
• 24:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: because they're afraid we're going to do something greater than them or we're going to take their seat at a table and it reminded me of that scripture where Saul and David are coming down the mountain and they've just had this huge encounter and they've been fighting off all of the bad guys and the women start singing here comes David who killed you know the tens of thousands and here comes Saul who killed the thousands and all Saul can focus on.
• 25:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: is that they were giving David more praise in his mind than they were him, and I think that that is really what happens to a lot of us as young women, especially, is we become moms, we get a new job, we get married, and these older women or women in our camp who are jealous of whatever is going on or insecure.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: They start to speak these things over us that are really a reflection of their own insecurity and these polls become our souls.
• 25:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: These pollettes become our solids and what that does is it makes us nervous to your point to trust women voices in our lives again.
• 25:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Is this gonna happen to me again?
• 25:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: How long am I going to live with this tape in my head of whatever this person spoke over me?
• 25:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's really important that we understand that we are one phrase, one conversation from either bringing life or bringing death to another sister.
• 26:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: See, I told you I wasn't kidding and had a little awkward cut off there, but that's because I want you to come back next week, and we are going to hit a lot of really strong topics.
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Jellacy, all kinds of things we face as women, but also how do we reconcile well for given us those things?
• 26:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so, I am thrilled that you're here today, come back next week for part two, and also, share this with a friend, if you don't mind, that would be amazing.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: All right, you guys, thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family, and you're the very best.
• 26:33
  [UNKNOWN]: You