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452. Emotional & Sexual Foreplay Ideas For Your Marriage: Why BOTH Are So Important! · The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: You are listening to the Ultimate Institute Podcast, where we discuss how to fight optimal equipment for the literature.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: We believe that no matter how many years you live in marriage, you can fight passion, happiness, and romance at any stage of your life.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Join us as we have discussions in all areas of education, interview marriage professionals and people who are just spot out fun.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Our podcast is for all couples looking to transform their Welcome to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with the Nick and Amy.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: In today's discussion, we're talking all about foreplay, emotional floorplay, and the sexual foreplay.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: They said floorplay.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Floor play.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you can play on the floor too.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be totally open to that.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we've never talked about floorplay.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna leave that one alone.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh do we visualize what you want there?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And he's got a video, another video that went viral.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Just a quote, but yeah, I don't know why people liked this one so much.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna talk about the differences with emotional versus sexual foreplay.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Both are important.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Both are important.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh emotional is more important at the beginning because you're not gonna get to the sexual intimacy.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: You already have the emotional.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think the emotional foreplay is to actually get your spouse to want to desire you, right?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then the sexual intimacy is I desire you, but I need to be heated up.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: And we could talk a little bit about like spontaneous driveslash responsive desire in this podcast episode.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think that kind of goes with it.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I would say I don't even know what foreplay is anymore in our marriage.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what foreplay is or sexual forplay.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I know what no, I know, oh sorry, I know what emotional foreplay is, but I don't know what sexual foreplay is in our marriage anymore.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Amy just says, get the vibrating ring, and I'm good.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm like, well, I want a half hour foreplay.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can I give you a back rub or anything?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Or like I'm like, no, good.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, I like I like a good back rub.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: I like a good back rub.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm the one begging for foreplay.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, let's do a little foreplay.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: I want it to last longer.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we'll get into that, okay?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna get into some fun tips that people have shared, not just us.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to get weirded out and be like, we don't want to hear about your personal life.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to, okay?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna share other people's tips, okay?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Nick might slip a few of his own in.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'll slip a couple of my tips in for sure.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's get started with emotional.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Why does emotional need to come first?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: As a man, I want you to answer that.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Why does emotional need to come first?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, before the sexual intimacy, before the sexual foreplay.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Why is that so important?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: And because your wife isn't gonna want anything to do with you if you aren't emotionally connected and helping around the house, and just I mean, you know, we've done posts and I think a uh blog article on you know, it starts emotion foreplay starts during the day, or it starts in the kitchen, or it starts like I just wanted you to you reiterate it coming from a husband that like you understand why, and and you're like absolutely and that you like agree with it.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: I would love you to tell the men, like this is why I agree with it.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, just our experience in 24 years of marriage, like when I'm helping do my part around the house, or noticing that things need to be done, or having talks, like okay, like when Amy and I have great conversations, we're a lot more likely to let's make love tonight, right?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're connected, yeah.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're totally connected, right?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're connected emotionally, like that was awesome, right?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I I I think it's just important to like be real and um connect on an emotional level and go on date nights and all these things that we constantly talk about to connect emotionally, then you know, your spouse is probably gonna want to connect physically more often, even if it's not like on the top of their mind, like, oh, I'm I want you.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like they are going to want you in a sense if you're like stepping it up and providing the emotional intimacy.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Perfectly said.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we have spent probably the last three episodes.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're really diving into this hard right now.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: The last two Fridays have been with Austin, our therapists, our expert friend therapists.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because they're not very good at this, but they don't understand how important these two go hand in hand.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, husbands and or higher drive wives, we're gonna talk about why the sexual is just equal as the emotional, but kind of why the the difference with the emotional coming first, and sorry this is a repeat from the last two episodes, but why the emotional really does need to come first, it's not like a checklist, but when that connection's strong first, it makes sex better, which is good for everybody.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not always a natural thing for us, man.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Austin kind of hit on that, right?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like we really have to put forth effort and try to be good in this area, especially.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not always easy, but I mean, that's why we always talk about it.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And we get a lot of husbands reaching out saying, I don't really understand what the emotional connection is, what that even or emotional intimacy is in marriage and why that is so important to come first.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel loved when she wants to be have sex with me.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but if you want her to love it and want it and want to be intimate and have that real, like great intimate moment, like she's gotta want it, which comes from you being a really great guy.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like just in like base words.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, so we're just gonna list some of the things we listed in this post that are emotional foreplay.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: And if you want to stop me at any time and talk about them, let me know.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Emotional daily check-ins, complimenting often, and this goes both ways, so important.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And okay, I'm gonna sorry, okay.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's so easy to do to compliment often, just say, You look so nice today, or thank you so much for doing that for me.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's so simple and it's such a game changer, and obviously sincere, right?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like right.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: I um so I play the organ at my church, and when Nick, when I get done on a Sunday, and it's just an average, it's an average church day, and he's like, You did such a great job, and I didn't do anything special, but I'm like, oh my gosh, he noticed that.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that means a lot to me.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And my it means a lot to me, and my you're so hot up there.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Text dirty sometimes I'll phones vibrate down, and I'm like, dang, thanks, babe.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Usually I don't get it until after church, but it was still nice.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: One hot organist.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Usually they're old ladies, but you're you rockin' it.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: So sweet, anyways.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Just like noticing, like you looked really good today, or just he's much better at this.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm gonna take my own advice.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: I suck at complimenting.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: You do have a really amazing golf game, golf swing.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Every time I go to the simulator place with them, I'm like, holy crap, go on freaking tour.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't turn that doesn't turn me on.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't because you already know you have that you're good.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Is that why?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh my golf game.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, yes.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: He's really good, anyways.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, so complimenting often.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, we'll try and stay on track.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Writing love notes.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Nick used to be really, really good at that.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: I bet that you kind of stopped because I didn't show enough appreciation for it.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's probably not a favorite affirmation person, but I have I have saved every love note he's ever written me in our entire 24 years.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you should have a full closet for thousands, thousands.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, acts of service.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um I know I'm kind of hitting on the love languages, but yeah, they they kind of are emotional foreplay.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like when you're speaking your spouse's love language, it's super attractive.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Super attractive.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, physical affection that is not sexual.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, like grabbing your spouse's hand when you are on a date or you're going on a walk, or maybe you're just sitting at home on the couch, like um rubbing, offering to rub their shoulders or the neck if they're stressed out, or sometimes Nick will just be like, Let me give you a foot rub, like those kind of things.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: Super attractive.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and I say super attractive a lot because I'm like, when you're attractive to your spouse, it leads to better sex life, right?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, sharing memories, deep meaningful conversations, date night rituals, praying, praying for your spouse, thoughtful gestures, sharing dreams and goals, which is communicating, right?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Back to that communication, shared hobbies, um, taking like a marriage challenge together and like putting effort into your relationship.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think so many couples have their own hobbies and they just go their separate way.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's and that's healthy.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I think you should also have hobbies you do together.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And those hobbies could be hey, let's go play pickleball, or let's go hiking together, or you know, you should have some hobbies that you're doing together that you both enjoy.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of spending all your time apart, you're spending some of your time together.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've been thinking a lot about like how we do all these fun things.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: We have this emotional connection and we talk when we're like dating and first falling in love and first married.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've been watching our daughter like fall in love, and it's been cute to watch, but they're like spending, they like dawdle over each other and romance each other and compliment each other and send those cute texts and spend time together and those things that you do when you fall in love, you know?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then I've been having to have talks, like, well, in the future, like you gotta keep doing those things, okay?
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Gotta put keep putting that energy.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it dies off if you let it, you know what I mean?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's all sparky and fun and exciting for her right now.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And they're an amazing cute couple.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm like, down the road, like that, who knows what will happen.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: But like that is what happens to a lot of relationships is we get into the marriage and then we get lazy, right?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, for sure.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: So emotional foreplay is really bringing back some of those things when we first fell in love.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, you used to compliment me, used to show up with a flower, you used to plan this really fun date night.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: We used to talk for hours and get to know each other.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like all the things that we've listed are things you can still be doing after 10, 20, 30, 40 years, right?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it really is simple.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like just do the things you did when you were dating, do them in marriage.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you just thought that simple thing, it'd be pretty easy.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that we're talking about emotional connection.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's usually the words we use, but this, like, we're talking like changing it from like connection to foreplay.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, for a lot of women, these things are foreplay.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, these are the things that work outside the bedroom.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: So the intimate time is better in the bedroom, which is what foreplay is, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, moving on.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Do we need to move on?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Are we ready to move on?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think so.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's really, really important because all those things, all those things you just mentioned are about connecting more emotionally, of course.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's they're pretty simple.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: But when we took that poll with like thousands of husbands responded, I think we got like 10 million views on that video with comments after comments after comments.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that we asked, what do you want more of husbands?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And they said sexual intimacy.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it was all the things they listed were things that were more emotional when it came to intimacy.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I was completely shocked by that.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was like, okay, men really want that emotional connection just as much.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely they do.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it makes sexual intimacy so much better.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, much better.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: They don't want to just have sex.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so sexual intimacy, kissing slowly.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: This is the foreplay for that.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, central body massages, texting flirty messages throughout the day, showering together, the text messages.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love text messages, yeah.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, setting the mood with music and lighting, slow touching, exploring sensory touch, playing an intimate game, whispering sweet things in their ears, teasing and playing, um, prolonged eye contact, um, flavored massage oils, exploring different zones, erogative zones, and experimenting with new positions.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's just a few.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's just a few.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: We'll name a few.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: If you want more, you just go get on the app.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Ultimate intimate app or the you and I app.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's more.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so one thing, so we talked about with Austin uh a few episodes ago how emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy go hand in hand.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's why like the truth or dare game in the app is such a good game because you spend time asking questions and talking and learning about each other, and then you also have the sexual side of things.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you're combining both of them, right?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Which obviously should make your uh intimacy a lot more connecting.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Intimate time, yeah.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: So the great thing, I'm glad you brought that up, because the great great thing about the truth or dare game, and you can get the physical one in our shop, or you can get truth or dare on the ultimate intimacy app.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I love that you said that because a lot of the time start it out with truth and just be like, hey, let's do like 20 truth questions before we jump into like more of the dare kind of things, right?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because then you're like get talking and you get close to each other, and then laughing, everything's intimate, right?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: Anything you want to add to that?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think it's a great list.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to bring up like there's a list of sexual foreplay ideas, but your wife is going to need to want to get there first, which comes from the emotional.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I think with the sexual, like, if you have a strong marriage, then I think it it takes effort to put in, which I've gotten lazy at sometimes, like you mentioned.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna lie.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mentioned you got lazy.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's just like I don't remember mentioning you're just saying that you're like would like it longer and and more sometimes, which I agree, because a lot of women will get to a point where like, I'm just tired, let's find it's I'm I'm willing, I'm happy about it, but let's keep it shorter.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm tired, make it like a hundred yard dash.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: A hundred yard dash instead of a mile.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Mile, yeah.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it's important to keep being open to being open a more time.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: What am I trying to say?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it's important to keep putting that effort into the sexual foreplay in your marriage too.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: I it goes both ways, right?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like easily if a man, and I'm not saying man, like it lets me go other ways in the marriage, like you know, okay, husband wife.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not, I don't want to be like man woman, but the higher drive wife or the lower.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think if you're if you're expected to put all this in like uh effort into the emotional intimacy in that connection before, I think that there can be more effort put into the sexual, and I'm talking to myself, yes.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: That was great, that was beautiful.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I agree with everything you said.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you did.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: My wife is telling her herself to step it up.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: We all need to step it up, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like honestly, we can all do better in marriage on both sides, and that's what it's all about.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, ultimate intimacy, you feel like once you've obtained it, you're gonna have that.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not, it's kind of like a roller coaster.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we talk about ultimate intimacy, but honestly, like you're gonna hit those at certain times, and then you're gonna go down and deal with stuff and then hit it again.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: But the reason why we constantly talk about all these different things is because when you get there, even if it's for a short period of time, uh, it's an amazing thing, and that's what we're all striving to do is just have the best marriages that we can.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's okay that you only hit ultimate intimacies for certain seasons or things like that.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I that's what makes this so great, is that you it's so hard to obtain that.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have that all the time, but working towards it overall is just gonna make your marriage so much better.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna have those really low lows.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: You your marriage is gonna just be elevated to a completely different level.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: I was just thinking while you were talking, like the different stages.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like at the first of your marriage, and I could be wrong, maybe this was just us, but the first of your marriage is like hot and passionate, then you start having babies and it kind of dies off because the baby stage can be really, really hard, or the toddler, you know, that like young stage of kids, whatever.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then like careers are kind of like really becoming, and just that stage, and then your kids get a little bit older and go to bed and most I'm not I'm not saying all people, but like your kids start sleeping better than night, so you get a little more intimate time, but then you have teenagers, and a plate, and so you're like scarring later.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then, but they but then add in like the hormone cycle for like women, like we're doing pretty good 20 and 30s, then the 40s hit, and like all this crap hits the fan.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then I've heard like mid-50s and above when like the menopause is kind of ending, like it actually gets like way better again, even though I know there's things you can fix like during those years, like I get that.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: But like then, I've heard like when the kids move out and the menopause is dying down, like actually can like start thriving again, and it's looking forward to that.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Do that, so I just it's really important for both of these, which is why we came up with like the let's talk about sex card deck because it was emotional foreplay and sexual foreplay.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's really what it is is talking about this whole entire conversation.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: What do you need more of?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: What do you need more up here?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: How do we prioritize this more here?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's really important in all the stages to like keep talking about I need more emotional foreplay, I need more sexual foreplay.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how do we how do we find this awesome balance so that we can keep having an awesome intimate life?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love it, yeah.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so is it bad?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Most people are saying, Oh, I wish I could be younger again.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Is it bad to say, oh, I'm 50?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could be 55.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I needed to be five years behind.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I need to be 60.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: We don't want to wish time away.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, I'm still uh doing well at 60, and you're you're you're peak in 55.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I feel like it.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's dud.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I feel really good.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: So hopefully uh don't jinx myself and life continues to be healthy.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for real.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: But I just wanted to reiterate like why it's so important that both people, and I know we've talked about this just recently because we've been really hitting on this, but emotional intimacy really needs to come first so that the sexual intimacy can become better.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I love that Austin talked recently about the sexual intimacy.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like it comes second, it's just the emotional what makes it so great.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but for a lot of husbands that are the higher drive, the ones that are the higher drive, and that's how they feel loved through that, the effort still needs to be put in if the marriage is respectful and strong, like it still needs to be equally the you know what I mean.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: That needs the intimate time needs to be priorities too.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: I loved how he was wording that.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and if you haven't listened to that episode, there was a an a couple uh probably actually be one or two episodes ago with Austin, the most recent one.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Go check that out.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think that will be a game changer for so many couples that I think a lot of people it'll just click and say, Oh, that's makes a lot of sense.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's exactly what we're dealing with in our relationship, but now at least we know why.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the tools that you know we can implement to have a better, better uh emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy as well.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: So um, we we did say in one of those episodes with him something about uh no, I can't remember what I was gonna say.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm almost 45.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Such a long time ago.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: So long time ago.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, oh, it'll come to me as soon as we end this.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, just like just saying yes more, being more positive in both areas, prioritizing each other.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Just I don't know, if we can just oh he said something about like why why can a couple not give you know 30 minutes a couple nights a week in all the time that we have, if you prioritize that, like it almost everything gets better too.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: The emotional intimacy gets better, and we have this time, and yeah, he's just like when I tell couples in therapy, like like a couple nights a week, 20, 30 minutes to be intimate will change your marriage and make it even stronger.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I truly believe that.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: I do too.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: I truly believe that's it.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: No question at all.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, if you need better emotional foreplay, maybe that can help.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if you need better sexual, jump on the app.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Jump on the app.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's why it was created by experts is to literally up your up your intimate wife, right?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and again, if you need great products, um, we have lots of them, shop.ultimateintimacy.com.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: It uh greatly helps our cause as well and allows us to be able to do what we do.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: We appreciate all of your support.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Reach out if you have any questions.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to it or something, you're like, ah, I've never we never tried something like this.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: They really can be a game changer for so many couples.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: You can find intimate products, yeah.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we're happy to answer any of any questions you have, just shoot us an email.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh either Amy or myself will answer, or you can say, Hey, I want Amy to answer.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just say that and on our email, and Nick usually answers them.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why it's Amy, but it's Amy at ultimateintimacy.com or support at ultimateintimacy.com.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you can ask for me or Nick will answer it.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: But any personal questions, if you've never tried an intimacy aid, if you're worried about it, if your spouse is worried about it, if you don't know how to use it, if you need suggestions, like we've shared our story on a couple, I mean a couple episodes back in the past on why they've been game-changing for us and for so many people.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: And and we have also done an episode on what is okay and what is not okay in the bedroom.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And we pretty much just talked about if it brings you closer.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: So having those conversations and yeah, so if you have any questions, yeah, hopefully we can be helpful.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and as always, we appreciate you listening to the podcast.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoy the podcast, please consider leaving.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Use a review.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: We've said this before, we should have thousands and thousands of reviews.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: But everyone's scared, everyone's scared to leave a review.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, help us out.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, with as many listeners as we have, we should we can come on, help us out.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: So uh appreciate it.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening, and until next time, we hope all of you find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.