Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Leading When People Are Not Okay: The Necessity of Conscious Leadership
Transcript
- Voiceover: [00:00:00] Rise Up Live Joy Your Way from emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness. Coach Kamini Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit. Through these small bites of self visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live, Rise Up Live Joy Your Way. Kamini Wood: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening. Thank you for taking your time to spend here with me. So lately I've been thinking a lot about the phrase people are not okay. It's something that Brene Brown recently said in a conversation about leadership, and it really landed like a truth that we've all been quietly feeling, but haven't really said out loud. You know, people are showing up. They're showing up to work, to family responsibilities, to all [00:01:00] the places that demand their energy. But underneath, there's this exhaustion or a fear, um, this quiet sense of, I can't keep pushing like this. Some are calling it quiet hugging. It's a twist on the quiet quitting, except instead of checking out, people are clinging to what feels safe. They are staying in jobs or environments. That drain them because the alternative actually feels scarier. And honestly, I have to say that I understand it because you know, right now people feel uncertain and that uncertainty can make even the strongest among us really actually hold our breath and feel just paralyzed with fear. But this moment, this cultural fatigue that we're living through is also calling us into something deeper. It's asking for a new kind of leadership, one that's not built on fear and pressure or perfection, but one that's actually grounded in awareness. Responsibility, emotional intelligence, and presence. So today I wanna dive into what it means to lead when people are not okay and why conscious leadership is not just a buzzword, but actually a [00:02:00] necessity that we're finding. So. Let's, you know, take a deep breath and, and you know, wherever you are, whether you're driving, walking, drinking, your morning coffee, whatever it is, I just invite you to take a pause and just pay attention to what we're talking about today. Uh, because regardless of the space that we're applying this to, whether it's work at home, it's really important. Now, we're not in a normal phase of work or leadership anymore. We are living in, what I would say a collective, a collectiveness of stress. The last few years have pulled us into survival mode, global uncertainty, shifting economies, changing priorities. And while the world has kept spinning, so many people haven't been able to find the space to just. Fully exhale, and that's what's showing up in our organizations. Teams are tired. Leaders are tired. There's a disconnect between performance and expectations and emotional capacity. So quiet hugging the idea that people are staying in jobs, not because they're thriving, but because they're actually afraid is truly a symptom of something bigger. It's the [00:03:00] nervous system saying, at least I know this discomfort, the unknown might actually be worse. But here's the truth. Fear-based loyalty is not real engagement. It doesn't give you real meaning. Fear-based leadership doesn't create trust. We can't performance manage our way out of exhaustion. We can't checklist our way into belonging. What we can do is bring awareness back into leadership. We can remember that performance is not separate from wellbeing. That emotional safety is the foundation of innovation and that the best leaders are the ones who see. The humanity in the room and not just numbers on a screen. So, what do I actually mean when I say, you know, let's work on becoming conscious leaders. Well, first of all, it's not about being perfect, it's about being present Conscious leadership starts with awareness, the ability to notice what is happening inside of you, first and foremost, and then what's happening around you. It's the moment to catch yourself [00:04:00] reacting, and instead of defending or blaming you pause and you ask, what's really going on here? What energy am I bringing into the space? How am I showing up into this space? At its core, conscious leadership is built on responsibility, not the heavy guilt driven kind that says everything is my fault, but on the empowered kind, the one, the awareness that says, okay, I do have choice here. When we take radical responsibility, we stop leading from fear. We stop hiding behind. That's just how things are or that's just how I am. We shift from unconscious reactivity to conscious choice. And here's the thing, this kind of leadership can feel very uncomfortable because it asks us to look inwards. It asks us to notice when our ego wants to be right instead of curious. It asks us to recognize when we're controlling instead of trusting, and it asks us to admit when we've been more focused on appearances than authenticity, but that's where the growth lives. When we're honest [00:05:00] about what's really driving us, whether it's fear or pressure, our own need to prove ourselves, we end up creating space for actual genuine connection, and that's what conscious leadership does. It bridges this gap between who we think we have to be and who we actually are. Now, one of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that it's about fixing people. Identifying and correcting weaknesses, but conscious leadership invites a different question. What if people don't need fixing? What if they. Need a form of remembering. That's where strength space leadership comes into play. According to positive psychology research by RI Ryan Neek and others, when we use our signature strengths intentionally, we experience more meaning. We experience more engagement and resilience. And in leadership, that looks like shifting the focus from what's wrong to what's strong. Imagine if instead of performance reviews that pick apart what isn't working. We had [00:06:00] conversations that asked. What strengths are you using most right now? How could you bring more of those strengths into each of your days? Strengths like curiosity, kindness, bravery, fairness, humor and perspective. These aren't soft skills. These are actually leadership skills and leadership tools. A conscious leader doesn't just manage the tasks. They help people connect to their strengths because that's where intrinsic motivation lives. You can try this with your own team. Or even ask yourself the next time you're facing a challenge, what strength do I need to bring into this moment? If there's conflict, maybe you could call on your strength of fairness. If there's burnout, maybe you could use hope. If there's fear, maybe you bring in courage. When we lead from our strengths, we help others rediscover theirs, and that more than any incentive or performance metric is what creates lasting engagement. Now let's talk about what happens when we don't lead consciously. When we as [00:07:00] leaders ignore our emotions, when we push for productivity at the expense of actually being present, we create a culture of quiet suffering. People start to withdraw. They show up physically, but they're not there mentally or emotionally. They nod in meetings, but they stop offering ideas. They start believing their truth doesn't matter, and that's a breeding ground for disengagement, resentment, and burnout. Leaders sometimes fear that acknowledging emotion will make things messy or that it makes them soft, but avoiding emotion doesn't create calm, it actually creates disconnection. Brene Brown says you can't have true belonging without vulnerability, and that applies to the workplace too. When people feel safe enough to say. I'm actually overwhelmed or I'm stuck, or even I made a mistake. They're not being unprofessional. They're being a human being. And when leaders respond with curiosity instead of criticism, something powerful actually happens. Trust begins to rebuild. [00:08:00] So much of conscious leadership is about shifting from judgment to understanding, from performance pressure to relational presence. Because people don't leave companies, they leave environments that don't see them. And that's really important to remember as a leader. So now let's try to bring this into practice. Conscious leadership isn't a concept. You, you know, check off a box or check off a list. It's a daily practice. It's a moment by moment awareness. So here are a few tools and reflections that you could begin using right away. There's the pause practice when you feel that sense of pressure or stress, or you feel triggered. Take a pause, take one deep breath and name what's happening internally. I notice I'm feeling tense, or I notice, I'm afraid this won't work. Awareness shifts you from autopilot into a sense of agency and autonomy above or below the line. Ask yourself, am I above the line? Am I open, curious, willing to learn, or am I [00:09:00] below the line? Am I defensive, blaming, and closed off? There's no judgment. There's just awareness because once you have awareness, then you have choice, strength, spotting. In real time instead of just giving feedback immediately when things go wrong, notice and name the strengths that people are actually using. For instance, I saw how, how calm you stayed under pressure or your kindness shifted the energy in that meeting. Small moments like this where your strength spotting can make people feel seen and truly valued. Integrity check ask, does this align with my values and the values of my organization? Conscious leadership requires aligning action with intention, and then there's the debrief. Practice after a presentation or a conflict where you've made a decision ask, okay, what worked well? What can we learn from this? It keeps teams from in it. It keeps teams in the curiosity. The learning mindset rather than the blame mode. And these practices, while they may seem simple, these small practices can [00:10:00] actually be really powerful because they rewire the culture. They teach teens that safety and accountability can actually coexist, and that we can tell the truth and also stay connected when we practice conscious leadership or not just improving a workplace culture. We are participating in a collective healing leadership is energy work and how we show up regulates or disregulates the nervous systems around us. When a leader is grounded, other people are gonna feel it. When a leader is reactive, other people are gonna absorb that too. In trauma-informed spaces, we call this co-regulation. In leadership, it's the same thing. Your presence becomes the anchor. Others can rest in. Now, a conscious leader does not deny difficulty. They're navigating it with awareness. They don't pretend to have all the answers. They create space for dialogue. They don't avoid conflict. They transform it into a place of understanding and curiosity. Leadership becomes healing, modeling self-trust, emotional literacy, and [00:11:00] courage in real time. As a leader, your calm helps others find theirs. Your honesty helps others speak theirs, and your compassion helps others soften theirs. Leadership becomes a ripple moving through teams, families, all relationships, communities, because energy, awareness and empathy are contagious. Leading when people are not okay begins with admitting that sometimes. We're not okay either. And that's not a flaw. That is an actual invitation, an invitation to lead from your own presence instead of from pressure to replace judgment with curiosity, to speak truth with compassion, and to take responsibility instead of control. When we lead from that place, people feel safe enough to be human again. And when people feel safe, they can create and they can collaborate, and they can innovate and they can grow. And that's the leadership the world needs. Now, not louder voices, but grounded ones, not leaders who know it all, but leaders who are willing to learn and learn while in public, not demand [00:12:00] perfection, but those who create spaces where people can heal, build, thrive. Conscious leadership isn't about only being the calm in the storm, it's about being the calm that steadies the storm. So I just invite you to ask yourself, what energy am I bringing into the room today? Am I leading from fear or am I leading from a place of awareness? Am I in a reactive state or am I, am I responding with some intention? Those are small shifts where conscious leadership begins, and when we begin there, we create presence and not pressure. If you'd like to hear how coaching could help you or wanna just see where our coaching relationship could go, please feel free to reach out to me at any time at coachwithkamini.com and until next time, stay well. Voiceover: Thank you for listening to Rise Up Live, joy your way. For more information, Book a chat with Kamini at www.chatwithKamini.com, or visit her website at www.kaminiwood.com. [00:13:00] You can also find Kamini on Facebook or Instagram. Username, it's authentic me. Thank you for listening!