Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / Ep. 278 Why You Still Text Back: Healing the Trauma Bond After Divorce.

Transcript

Ep. 278 Why You Still Text Back: Healing the Trauma Bond After Divorce. · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can be a therapist, a coach, or the friend who swears she knows better and still fall for an avoidant man's games.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: In this episode, Joy, Tiffany, and I are getting brutally honest about the ridiculous ways we stayed hooked.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: The late night texts, the lies we half believed, the crumbs we treated like a meal.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna tell on ourselves so you can finally stop telling yourself you're the only one.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're flipping the script and answering five raw, spicy questions about why you kept texting back and what those messages really mean and how to break the cycle for good.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is equal parts cringe, comedy, and clarity.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: But most importantly, by the end, you'll never look at that buzz of his name lighting up your phone the same way again.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, love.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorce.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, here's what makes this episode even more fun.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: I planned this episode without telling you two what I was planning.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: We don't usually we usually plan all together.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So friends, they they don't know.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know what I'm about to ask.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're looking at each other like shit.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So the first half of the episode, we are talking about the dumb shit we did when still hooked on avoidant partners.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not like, I think for me, that's not just about my ex-husband, but it's about my first post-divorce serious relationship because I was like, it was maybe even more unhinged there.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um we're gonna tell tell some stories.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason for that is right because I think we get we get a lot of feedback from the women we work with where they'll share things with us and they're like, You're never gonna see me the same, right?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like they think like peep, I don't know.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: We all just think we're terminally terminally unique with our insecurities and our knuckle-headed behavior, and it keeps us like trapped or whatever.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that when we tell our stories, it makes it easier for women to break out of their own patterns, right?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but then I have five curated questions that if if women could answer these five questions for themselves, they would be well on their way to really transforming the cycle of being texted in the middle of the night when they feel alone, on a holiday, like you know, how an avoidant man just knows where to push, right?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so a woman who can answer these five questions, and you guys have no idea what the questions are.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Is this like too close of an echo to the Tuesday episode?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're different questions.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:02
  unknown: Okay.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so hit me with your most unhinged Joey.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: You've got some good ones.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, what?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Considering I don't know where this is going.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like half-baked lies you believed, like you know what I mean, like the avoidance strategies that you fell for and had trouble like really opting out of that habit or pattern.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like the very real nitty-gritty stories.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can access the full episode by becoming a premium subscriber, which is just five dollars a month.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Scroll down to the show notes and click the link where you'll get your very own individualized RSS feed for your podcast app.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: You can find more at mycoachjohn.com.