Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #211: A Lasting Impact of Words

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Episode #211: A Lasting Impact of Words · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

0:02
Hello, everybody, Welcome to tea time with Amy and Bev. How's it
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going, sister, It's going great. How are you doing. I'm doing
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all right. As we're recording this. It's Mother's Day, So any big
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plans or anything to play off that for Mother's Day, I am going to
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take some time to spend outside and probably just go for a walk and I'll
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do my yoga and stuff because I love doing yoga. Lately I've been I
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go between yan yoga and Kundalini yoga. So it's so fun, you know,
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it's funny. We're getting ready to start this. I like, I
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have no idea spar what we're talking about today. But because I have no
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idea, but but this Kundalini stuff like that. There's there's some gal that
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I found on YouTube and it's some of the stuff that you would never have
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seen me do in the past, because I wouldn't allow myself to be that
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free, because God forbid if somebody saw me at home, you know what
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I mean, some of the stuff that I think of the dog saw me.
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I don't know what I think sometimes, like what this process is,
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but it's maybe not a matter of being seen, you know. It's maybe
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not trying not to be seen or trying to contain that energy because we got
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in trouble, which also takes me right into there was a time if I
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laid my arm or my leg across Freeman, I'd be like, worried,
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is that is my leg too heavy? You know, I'd worry about these
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things. You'd just like laugh at me and think, oh, you're silly.
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You would tell me that I'm silly. But then I heard myself telling
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my granddaughter because she saw me and she leaned back, elbow in the breastplate
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bone and the bosoms and everything. I'm like, you're getting too heavy.
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And then I realized that what I'm saying is like we pick up stuff in
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our lives. That's so god, it's so miniscule, but we look at
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how far I took it, because to me, that's exactly where I where
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it came from, is for me to look at that. And it's not
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that my mom or or whoever did anything wrong by saying that I was getting
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too heavy. I was getting heavy for their lap, but it didn't mean
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that I was too heavy. So it's like we interpret words, right,
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We interpret all these emotions, and we if my granddaughter was picking up on
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my energy from it, she's going to pick up like, oh, she
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doesn't want me to be on her lap. I'm too heavy, you know,
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it's all this other stuff, and then we could take that a whole
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new direction, right, being heavy, like gaining weight because we're just too
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you know. It's just those I'm trying I say, you know, because
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I'm like stopping myself because I don't want to continue on that conversation because our
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words create, and so it's like buck start, I start to get a
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reference so that someone can have a visual or an understanding, and it's like,
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it's it's not whoever is listening is going to understand however, they're going
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to comprehend anything, And it's not my it's not my works to try to
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make sure that everybody understands where I'm coming from and anyone that's going to understand
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what I'm saying as we're going through this, because I've got to pay attention
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to me. It's funny that we'll say we'll say things like God, oh,
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well but you might believe in such and such and such and such,
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Well, guess what I believe in God. It's just that simple. I
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believe in yahweh, I believe in yesterday, I believe in gosh. There's
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so many different names that I've heard recently, but it's just to be in
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the space unapologetically for being ourselves. And it's like, I feel like it's
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we're apologizing again in some sort of a fashion for the ways that we're using
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words or the things that we're thinking they're saying, and it's like it can't
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fully be ourselves without letting a lot of that stuff go. All of it.
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You just got to let all of it go, honestly, And it's
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not that we're doing anything wrong. It's just recognizing where we throw our own
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roadblocks up. And it's uh, I want to go back to the too
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heavy. That comes down also to the perspective, right, so from mom
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or Grandma's perspective, you're too heavy for me, like it's uncomfortable for me
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for you to be on my lap or putting your elbow in my body,
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and those types of things where it doesn't come across that way with the words
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when the other person is receiving the words of oh, I'm too heavy,
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and then plant that seeds planted, and it's a subconscious thing, whereas now
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when they look in the mirror, I'm too heavy comes up, or look
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how big I am, or I'm bigger than the other kids. Right,
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all these stories start snowballing, and then the adulthood comes and there's difficulty in
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reducing your size because the programming hasn't been changed of I'm too heavy. And
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so I just want to explain that to the audience that like, this is
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where these these things come from our programming or how we're operating through a day
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to day life. You know, you quote unquote shouldn't eat the ice cream,
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but you do it anyway, and then you beat yourself up over it
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is to keep the the programming alive of I'm too heavy, and so I'm
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going to keep contributing to that. And so it's it takes some time to
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or some skill set mindset shifts to change that programming, change those those seeds
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that have been planted so that we're not focused on that anymore. And it's
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it's of course that's on an individual basis to change that programming, but I
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just wanted to bring that awareness to people like you may not You may not
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say it to a child, it from a space of oh my god,
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you're fat, get off me. It's it's the perspective of my body can't
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handle the weight that you're at now, But it doesn't come out that way,
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right, And how do you explain that to a child? Or or
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I'm just not strong enough to carry you. You're too heavy comes out of
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my mouth. But really it's I'm not strong enough to carry you. So
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it's just being our words. You know, you definitely are right on when
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you say, you know, our words create and those when our words when
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we're speaking to children are planting seeds in their subconscious mind because they're at a
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at a time in their life where they're absorbing everything that they hear and see.
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And and so if you don't know, like as the adult, if
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I don't know that that's happening, and I say you're too heavy, instead
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of saying, oh my goodness, you know, I'm not strong enough to
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carry you or hold you, it's two different, two different descriptions that are
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coming up cross to the child. So I just wanted to hit on that
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and give some explanation so people understand that. Yeah, And it's interesting because
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as we get older, if you take a look at that it's like,
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it's not even that's not the whatever we put energy towards that word or to
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the towards that thought, it not even doesn't have the same weight if we're
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going to go that direction as far as as far as what we're saying right
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now, when we're an adult looking at it's like, well, yeah,
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you know, my twenty five year old daughter, she's going to sit on
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my laps, probably going to be I'm not going to go to see you
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around me, really in front of my face. But you know, it's
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just like it's just having a visual of that and having an understanding about Like
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we've used the reference a long time ago of a mom saying I don't care.
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It's not that they don't care. They don't have the capacity to give
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anything else in that moment. It doesn't mean they don't care, but it's
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you know, being that adult, and it's like sometimes maybe you came to
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them when you're having a struggler or whatever, and it's not that they don't
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care, it's just they don't have anything else to give because they're already doing
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so much. But again, that recognition doesn't come until we've become the mom
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or the dad or a caretaker of someone else, and recognize how you feel,
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hands filled, that you're being pulled in so many different directions, and
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it really gets back to honoring self, right, it really is. It's
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just paying attention to how do I feel, and then really looking at things.
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And it's not these things that kind of come up. They're just like
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random things that kind of come up and you let go of them, and
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it's and it's so it's with grace and ease, it really is. And
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when I say on your body, it's like I'm no longer using lotions that
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you typically buy, I'm using all natural ingredients. I'm no longer dyeing my
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hair because I don't want the chemicals. And it's not because I'm like,
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oh, chemicals. It was interesting because when I made the decision, it
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was just recently that I made a decision, like I'm done coloring my hair.
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And when I made that decision, like this joy with inside my body,
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within inside this vessel, and it was like it was waiting for that
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to happen, just to allow it to just be. And it's like another
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part of an aspect of trying to control things. We're in makeup. Since
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I put wearing makeup. I just put certain like I just used certain oils
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and stuff like that, certain things on my skin now And it's like when
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I if there's any sweating, my eyes aren't burning. If I'm washing my
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face and the I'm in the shower and the water is running over me,
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my eyes aren't burning. It's like all these little things, but we don't
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pay attention to these things, and we don't realize how much the suit absorbs.
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It absorbs everything. I was the girl growing up. I had my
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hands and bleached water all the time. I didn't wear gloves. There was
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no current concern for that. But then when you think about these vehicles that
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we're in, we're now inundating, like the liver and the kidneys and the
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brain and the skin, and we're breaking everything down instead of having that longevity.
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I don't know why I'm going this direction, but I am. It's
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like everyone is always saying, oh, well, probably because my birthday this
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month too, right, we're a writer on our birthday season. So but
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it's recognizing you always hear doctors say, oh, what happens with age?
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The hair dress or your hair is thing. It's age. I don't believe
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that it's age. I believe that the suits have been inundated with heavy metals
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and all I mean, and that's we go back to the heavy thing,
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right And if I believe that, then that's the case. That's the case
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if I want to be in the three D honestly, But can I rise
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above all that without having to do anything? Yes, I can. It's
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not even something to do. So again, I'm catching spirits like talking to
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me, because I'm catching myself trying to control all these things, are doing
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all these certain things, but recognizing that's still not me being in my five
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D mindset. It's not me being in that energetic space where it doesn't matter.
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All the stuff doesn't matter. That's a three D thoughts. That's everything
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that has a label upon it, that matters or has some sort of an
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effect or control over you. Because again that's another way that you give out
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your control to something. If I'm getting my control like ooh, I should
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have eating sugar my mom said, or but it's just not don't think about
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what you should or shouldn't be doing. Recognize how it feels in your vessel.
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That's the guidance I heard Scudan Diese been talk about doing heart testing,
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and I'm like, what the hell is that I've done body testing, but
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doing heart testing. And it's like, I'm recognizing you just focus on the
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heart and then you recognize the feelings that you get from it. Is that
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feel good? Or does that feel bad? And it's like if you even
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for books, because she was talking about I'm reading, I'm not reading.
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I'm listening to her most recent book that came out. You'll have to google
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it, but she's like talking about for me, I would be putting the
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book up against my chest and in my heart area, and if my heart
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doesn't feel like it, even though my mind's like ooh, that's not like
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a good, good book that's gonna take me down the path of mediumship or
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or channeling or gardening or you know, eating better, working out whatever.
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But if I do that, I'm gonna recognize exactly my path. I'm still
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recognizing my path because it's letting me know yet and know those things. So
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it's I know, like lot, like always the information, it's like from
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so many different directions. But we're we're like on a short time today and
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we're gonna we're gonna drop it out there, guys. We have a lot
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to look at and after it. You know, when I decided to stop
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coloring my hair, here was the realization was I would go every five weeks
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sit there smelling the chemicals. It was loud in the salon I and I
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don't I'm not a fan of salons. I'm just not And to sit there,
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I've had to change my perspective of how would we take care of my
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hair and keeping it, you know, trimmed up and all the things,
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but the color would the chemicals, Like for two days, my head would
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itch because it was burning. It was uncomfortable, and I just got to
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point I was just like, I have some want to do this anymore.
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This is uncomfortable. I don't like doing it. I'm doing it because of
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societal reasons, and I was just over it. I'm like, who knows
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what my natural hair color is and I'm gonna figure it out and if I
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don't like it, I can always go back to coloring it. Like there
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was options, right, Yeah, So it was like I was just done
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doing something that felt uncomfortable. And it's still unlike I guess I'm trying to
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my mind around a lot of this stuff because it's like the no makeup,
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all this other stuff, the no gem, the I know that I'm going
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through a big transition, but it's like it's it's not putting space value on
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all of this. That's not what's the that's not the value. I mean
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this is there is value in this. I'm not saying that. But it
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was like my focus for a lot of for past many years because I did
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the bodybuilding, I competed and you know, different stuff. But it's like,
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it's not about all that stuff. That was all those were all things
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of this my little girl wanting to have that attention or lifting the weights with
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me, learning that I need to protect myself because I was it and and
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it's recognizing that's not always true and I'm not it. I've got a whole
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fricking team. Some of you guys can probably see them, some of you
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can't, but they're all around me right now, and they're all around each
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of us. We all have our teams. So it's just like it's the
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perspective is changing, and it's it's recognizing not everybody's going to see things the
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way you do. Even in your relationships. There there's going to be sometimes
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you're going to be vibing in a different vibration. And it doesn't mean that
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that things are bad. It just means that you're there's a growth that's happening
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right now and it's and then it's integrating all that information or that that energy
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afterwards, because just like you said about the salon, I concur but it's
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like going into a lot of those spaces and stuff like that can be a
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little bit different. You've always got usually you'll have numerous people in a space
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and a lot of energies, and then people waiting and a lot of their
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energies and stuff. And it's not a It certainly is not a controlled environment
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like spirit groups or any of that kind of stuff, because you know what
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you're all coming to your classes. You kind of know people will have a
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reason for wanting to be there. That's that's in alignment with your your metronome,
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your your gauge that's going off, so that you can kind of you're
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all going to vibrate higher anyways. But it's just recognizing all those things.
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And it's like it's not good or bad, it's just it's different. I'm
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in a different feeling space now and it's really looking at things and kind of
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enjoying the fill of them. Really just feeling a lot of stuff. Music
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I've never listened to before, would never have listened to you before ever in
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my lifetime. I'm listening to now because it uplifts me, it fills me
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up. So it's because I'm now I'm the soul that's going through life and
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feeling things how they feel for me. And then I'm kind of navigating in
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that direction of how the way things feel. Yeah, And I know what
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to talk about the music because I started listening that. So back in the
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day, when I was eight, nine, ten years old, my family
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were some of my family was born again Christian and they all only listen to
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Christian music. Well this was in nineteen, like seventy eight, seventy nine,
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right, so back then the music was way different than it is today.
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So when my son was about thirteen, so almost sixteen years ago,
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he came home one day, he's like, mah, you gotta listen to
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this music. You gotta listen to this and Christian he said, Christian music.
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And of course my I was just like, oh Lord, here we
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go. It's like he's like, no, yea listen, it's really cool.
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And he played me a song by Toby Mack. I don't remember which
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song it was, but it was by Toby Mack, and I was like,
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well, this is cool, and so then, you know, start
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he would share with me other songs and I started listening. So anyway,
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for the most part, that's what I listened to is the the current Christian
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music, which is uplifting. A lot of it's uplifting, A lot of
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the words resonate with me, A lot of the the There are some songs
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like you know, I love I love most of it, but there is
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some wording that I'm just like that, but I'll still listen to it and
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just kind of kind of glaze over that piece. But but yeah, it
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just the messages. Now, the messages in these songs really resonate and and
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they're more viby and fun and so so I get you. It's funny you
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say that I do the same thing, and I was just filling bring this
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morning that I kind of pick and choose what I want to listen to.
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I can always fast forward, but there are times that if I don't care
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for the wording that's in it, I'll change it. To the wording that
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I do care for I'll add that's awesome because that's how But that's how we
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create, right because we're because those works we're creating with, even when we're
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seeing in our hearts out, we're creating. And it's like, okay,
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Spirit, bring bring the words in that you want us to create from.
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That it's what we really want to create from, not what we think that
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we want to create from. And so it's just I like that because because
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I do the same. And it's funnily, we were just talking about this
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morning, so because I told him I don't know, elevation, I don't
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know, there's some some new group that was sent to me by somebody else
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and I'm like I listened to it and I was like, wow, this
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really feels uplifting because it's almost like a choir. I feel it's almost like
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a and I love gosh, you hear some good choirs and they can move
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you to tears and like almost like a symphony or there's just more stuff that's
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going on and it's such a celebration of life. That's what it feels like.
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It's a celebration. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I and I'm
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more aware of those those words now than I was what was before. Yeah,
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and being aware of what we've felt with those words right before. If
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I were to use the word god, man, now I say it and
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I feel like I feel my solar plexus and then it goes right sheets right
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up to my heart. So it's different because but I had to I had
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to walk this path a bit to kind of feel how things were, and
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for me it was I had to go with a different name. That it
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kind of like using a different name open that doorway. So that now I'm
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comfortable with that as being said, instead of feeling like I have to push
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away from it. And gosh when I say that out loud, it's because
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we've been trained to want to push away from that. And has it been
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on purpose maybe, but it's been a choice for us to take that path
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or not. Right, it's my choice to stay in that space and be
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like, ah, I don't like the way how you're talking me out.
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They'll start preation at me, and it's like, I'm not creation at you.
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I'm going to bring for or whatever spirit wants to bring forward right now
21:07
in this moment for you and for me. Yeah, And that you know,
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I'm gonna just lay this out there. It's not that I only listen
21:15
to Christian music or I'm opposed to any other music, because that's their creation
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and that's what they the artists are moving through in themselves, and it's still
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all it's all creation, and it all resonates with somebody at some point on
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their path. But you will find me at a bar and I will be
21:38
dancing to country music and having a good time because I love doing that.
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I love line dancing and couples dance, and so yeah, you will find
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me at a bar having a good time. So just laying that out there.
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I like that country music too, and and there's some of the oldies,
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so they just have a good feel to them. It's just some of
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some of the newer stuff I don't resonate with so much. And then some
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of there is some stuff that I do resonate with. But it is a
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lot of where I'm at in that moment. And it's again it's a gauge
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for me to let me know where I'm at in that moment. I can
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tell it like if I'm not if I'm not in a good mood, I'm
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listening to some stuff that probably is in it. It reflects my not in
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a good mood. And and you know what, it doesn't matter because in
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that time it helps. It's still lifting me from one space to another.
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Yeah, true, use even though you're singing, even though you're creating,
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but you're still using that energy. You're you're you're busting all this energy.
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So you're like when you feel stifled or you're not being heard, or you're
22:40
feeling suppressed. And even if whatever song you're even if it's an F word
22:45
song, you're still you're still opening up that chockra You're still dumping stuff out.
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And so it doesn't matter. But as you go, it's gonna it'll
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get, it's gonna change, You're gonna want to go into something else.
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It's just like when I'm writing my letters that I'm never going to send,
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or I'm writing out all my emotions on a piece of paper. It starts
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out like right, and by the end of it it's like, and I
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want to have a new car and I love God. You know, it
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just totally shifts because but it couldn't shift without having that first part of it
23:14
to release. Yeah, in music, I feel like it's such a it's
23:18
such a beneficial role. I tell people all the time that music is like
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it's it and humming, even if you're gonna sit in hum, if you
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feel like you're being stifled to sit in hum. It's it's just interesting.
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It's interesting how we feel after we do those things. And I notice how
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you feel one of these Kundalini's yoga's as I do, She's like during part
23:41
of it, like you're doing so many things and you're like having to hold
23:45
yourself so tight and you're having to hold your I can't remember what it's called,
23:48
but it holds all your lower regions up and tighten and pulling in the
23:52
abdomen and doing all that stuff. But when you're doing all it's like so
23:56
tight. And then afterwards she has you shaking everything off. And I've done
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it like two or three times, and it's like the third time, I'm
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like, I'm moving in ways that I've never moved before. But then I
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noticed throughout the day that I'm I'm like not affected by things like I normally
24:10
would be affected by things. I feel like i'm more I'm paying attention to
24:14
things, I'm noticing things, and so things are different for me and it
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feels different for me, and it feels neutral. It really does without and
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I'm not trying to feel neutral, it just is. So it's just just
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being in those spaces because that really does help, just stuff from your body.
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None of my clients are picking up on that, I don't think so
24:33
much. I'm like, really got to start doing stuff for yourselves. Not
24:37
because I'm not going to be doing this forever because this is it, but
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it's like, you guys got to figure it out. You guys got to
24:44
If we're always doing something for someone else, they're always fixing something for someone
24:48
else, They're never going to figure it out on their own. And guess
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what, We're not always going to be here, So I'd rather they figure
24:56
out while I'm here. And that goes through my family and friends and kids,
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and you know, because i don't know how long I'm here, but
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I'm going to enjoy myself while I'm here. Why do we have to have
25:07
the threat of death for us to recognize that we want to live? So
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it's like there's all those things and it's like I've been talking to spirit,
25:15
like I want to feel that feeling of wanting to live as if as if
25:18
we're dying because I listened to there's a song that's out there as well,
25:22
but it's like it's listening to that stuff and it's feeling that way because it's
25:26
motivational, because it allows you to live fearlessly, and that's really what we're
25:32
looking for, right, And guess what, we're all going to die.
25:34
We're not going to stay in these physical bodies. We are not going to
25:37
die. But these bodies can't last forever. You can't drive the same vehicle
25:41
from the time that you first start driving to the rest of your life without
25:45
having all kinds of problems. And it's probably going to be noticeable that it
25:49
can use some work. But because we just don't take care of them like
25:52
we should. Right, We're not changing the oil like we're supposed to do.
25:56
We're not maybe washing in wax and all the time, or I don't
25:59
know, millions things. Yeah, and be mindful of when you're taking care
26:03
of your body, how you're talking to it. I have had a conversation
26:07
with a lady the other day who she kept saying she was getting the fat
26:11
jab, which is an injection you lose weight, and then she proceeds to
26:18
say and I've only I've only lost six pounds, so I have to keep
26:23
getting the fat. Jab I was like, well, you got to stop
26:26
talking to yourself like that. It's like, come on, She's like,
26:32
well I am, I'm fat, I said, And you keep affirming it,
26:34
so you're not gonna you're gonna have a difficult time reducing your size.
26:38
Could you keep affirming your fat? Yeah, it's our words that keep us
26:45
in those spaces, right, And it's really not about that job. It
26:48
really isn't. My mind wants to go three D and be like, you
26:52
know, you gotta be careful because our brains need that cholesterol, we need
26:56
fat in our bodies. So it's just recognizing it's it's you can't put a
27:03
band aid on things, right. We've talked about before they talked to it.
27:07
There's been this thing about med beds and or even let's just go back
27:10
to the conversation with Jesus. You know Jesus would come in the hill and
27:12
then say go forward and tell no one about this stuff. You just you
27:15
don't go forward and start talking about it and reiterating and bringing it all back
27:19
into the focal point. Now it's back into your full experience when you just
27:23
let go of it a few minutes ago. Now you just brought it all
27:26
back, and it's all just the same thing as the same Jesus, the
27:30
med beds, the jabs, the whatever. If you don't if you're not
27:33
doing the internal for yourself, then it's not it's not gonna you're not gonna
27:37
have the outcomes that you want to have. Yeah, yep, I hear
27:44
you. I hope everybody else is hearing that because you Yeah. I mean,
27:52
I'm I'm going to imagine that this is just another process of it's a
27:57
temporary fix. I'm going to get this shot. It's going to help me
28:00
reduce my size. Then when I'm at my right the size that I want
28:03
to be, then I stopped doing it, and then it just comes the
28:07
weight comes back on, if not more, it's the cycle. It happens,
28:11
has happened to most everybody who has a did any kind of diet program
28:22
and has has done zero or hardly any internal shifting and so and then they'll
28:30
say, any how many times have you heard it? Yeah, I did
28:33
this program. It was great as long as I was on it, but
28:36
when I got off of it, I gained more weight than I was before
28:38
I started. I hear that over and over and over, and it's the
28:44
temporary fix, and we it's it's an internal process. There's an internal process
28:52
that has to be done as well along with whatever external thing you're depending on.
29:00
Yes, in my mind, I'm seeing it. It's everything's a distraction.
29:03
All it's a distraction from dealing with these emotions. So I've told people
29:07
recently on we talked about it, but I've talked about it because I have
29:10
an understanding of it now. I don't even use addictions, not even it's
29:15
not true if we don't know how to deal with our emotions. I quit
29:19
smoking pot a month ago. I think it's been a month now again,
29:23
right, I've done this a few times. We can probably go back a
29:26
few videos simply find out that I because I thought, you know, when
29:29
I got this, But then I started recognizing that the reason that I would
29:33
smoke it on for me recently, a lot of times I would go smoke
29:37
it is because I didn't know how to deal with the emotions that I was
29:38
dealing with. I did not know how to so that I could go do
29:42
that and it could take the edge off or it would take that it would
29:47
distract me from dealing with my own emotions. And so now I recognize this,
29:51
I've got to sit in those fields right now. I'm not saying there's
29:53
anything wrong with smoking pot. There's nothing wrong with it. Anyone that wants
29:56
to do it feel free. But for me, I know that was a
30:00
distraction from dealing with my emotions. I don't know for sure, but I
30:04
could pretty much have a pretty good guess that that was probably a lot of
30:07
Gem's drinking of the alcohol was he didn't know how to deal with these emotions.
30:12
We grow up to these ages and we made it this far right,
30:17
But that just means we knew how to distract ourselves really well to get to
30:19
a lot of these places. And it's just recognizing a lot of times we're
30:23
just using the weight or the marijuana, or the relationship or the new vehicle,
30:32
all of it. It's just a temporary fix, is like you said,
30:33
It's just put throwing a band aid on things. But because we don't
30:37
know how to deal with ourselves, like and that's been the conversation forever.
30:41
People don't know how to be with themselves, right because we don't know how
30:45
to deal with these emotions. We haven't We haven't learned how to deal with
30:48
those emotions. We learned how to navigate in a world that you could get
30:52
things immediately and it could be satisfying, and it distracted you from having to
30:56
have any of these feelings. So we have generations of people not feeling things.
31:02
We have generations of people putting on a false front, a smile on
31:04
their face even though there wasn't. They weren't happy, you know, putting
31:10
on a premise. It takes me back to the cleave or meet the cleavers,
31:12
right, having the pearls on and the dress and high heels and vacuuming
31:18
the floors. It's like that that all that stuff was for show. But
31:22
it's and it's like for me, like going back to where we came from
31:26
for this conversation. It's like letting not worrying about dyeing the hair, not
31:30
worrying about having the makeup on it. Still wear a mask, arrup because
31:33
I like it. But it takes me like five minutes to do anything.
31:37
Grost my teeth, grost my hair. You know, it's put on slid
31:41
free and the and I will tro I will get back to I do work.
31:45
Out here kind of nothing like I was focused, but it was like
31:48
it was all distracting me from dealing with these emotions that are inside of me.
31:53
So now I'm I'm handling these emotions, and when I don't know what
31:56
to do with them, I have you to reach out so I can I
32:00
can say things out loud and I can process it. I've got spirit talking
32:06
to me all the time. You know. I talked to you, I
32:07
think the last time, and I said, I kept seeing all this stuff
32:10
say spread your wings and flyers, spread your wings. We did our twelve
32:14
month reading and I had told it if I was like, huh, I'm
32:16
gonna go ahead and take a look at this. And I look at me
32:19
May and buy cards that I had told that was my extra cards to spread
32:22
your wings. I'm like, I don't even know what to say about this
32:24
stuff. And it's like and it's also letting spirit no when we don't know
32:29
what is that really What does that really mean? What does spread your wings
32:31
really mean? What does that really mean? And it's like, not what
32:36
does it mean to everybody else? But what does it mean to me?
32:37
What's the message is coming to me for this? And I couldn't get there
32:40
if I'm still focused on the job or the gym or running around, because
32:46
that's what I was doing, was running around on the hamster wheel all the
32:50
time. And it's taken me some time to really not stack everything up because
32:53
I'm in town and get this done and this done, and this done,
32:55
and this done real quick. And the next thing, no, the day
32:59
this gone, and it's like, real quick, I didn't I didn't get
33:01
to enjoy the day. So there's a lot of processing going on. But
33:07
it really has a lot to do with dealing with these emotions that we have
33:09
within ourselves and asking spirit like Okay, well I feel this way, but
33:14
I don't know what to do with it. Okay, I don't know how
33:16
to I don't know how I'm supposed to booth from this, but I'm tired
33:20
of feeling like this. So it's just like that ask for help, right
33:22
when we put that ask for help out, Yeah, it comes every time.
33:29
Yeah. I did kind of did that the other day. I was
33:31
I was just in a funky mood. I didn't it wasn't I wasn't sad,
33:35
I wasn't happy. I was just like, you know, and I
33:37
said it out loud. I'm like, I'm just in a funky mood,
33:43
and then things start happening and stuff start shifting, and by the end of
33:49
the day I was for midday, really I felt a lot better. So
33:52
it was just like maybe sometimes you just gotta voice it out right and say
33:58
it out loud is an acknowledgement. It's all right, yeah, and it's
34:02
all right to get mad. I was at the ballpark the other day and
34:07
a parents close to me was was getting all over a little. It was
34:12
close to me and because he had said shit at the ballpark and it was
34:21
brought over to the parents from the coach from this thing and it was going
34:24
to be processed, and then it's like all this anger came forward. It's
34:28
like asked. So we're sitting here and processing this. I know that I'm
34:31
sensitive, right, super sensitive. I can say that, but I'm creating
34:36
when I say that. But I as soon as that that, the parent
34:40
went with child and had a conversation with them and then came back and it's
34:45
like, well when this when we get home, this is what's going to
34:49
happen, and like major punishment, like all the toys are taken away,
34:53
the whatever spanking, soap and a mouth, numerous things like and I And
34:59
it wasn't the words that were being said, it was the anger. And
35:01
I felt all that. But I could sit here and stay before I could
35:06
say, well, I'm picking up on their energy and whatever path of least
35:10
resistance. If I'm picking up on the energy is because I've got all this
35:15
anger inside of me still. And instead of me vomiting all this shit that
35:21
would have probably came out of my mouth in the past, because it would
35:22
have all I heard in my head was go and I just mid game,
35:28
right, We're halfway through the game, and I I just picked up my
35:31
stuff and I left, handed the baby over and peace out. I'm going.
35:37
And it's because I just couldn't. I knew that I couldn't stay there.
35:40
And then it presented an opportunity for an apology to family, but it
35:47
presented an opportunity to one of the littles. So I got to talk to
35:52
a little and express myself and say, you know, sometimes we pick up
35:57
on people's energies. Because it was an opportunity, because I know that when
36:00
we go to school, because that was the for me, that was not
36:04
a good place to be because I didn't realize how much we pick up on
36:07
everybody else's energies because we learned that from early on when we came in here.
36:10
That was part of our navigation. And we've been doing it always,
36:14
guys. So if you think it's hard, it's not. You've always been
36:16
doing it. Now it's just paying attention to the gauges. But I remember
36:21
being in that space, and I remember talking to this little and telling you
36:24
know, it's being paying attention that sometimes the feelings that we're feelings are not
36:29
our feelings. But now I'm realizing, as we're having a conversation again,
36:32
it's pathively its resistance. So if I'm doing this Kudelini yoga right and it's
36:37
moving this energy or regular yoga inness movingness energy, now it has a pathway
36:42
to come out. I can free up. And now that was a perfect
36:45
opportunity for it to flow from me. And I didn't do the same things
36:50
that I did in the past, and I didn't feel bad about saying,
36:53
hey, I'm sorry I left midgame. It won't happen again. Next time
36:58
I'll walk around. I'll know how to process it. But at that particular
37:00
moment, I didn't know what to do, and my path was just to
37:05
do exactly what I didn't and I didn't beat myself up about I started to,
37:07
but then I stopped and was like, no, I can't. I
37:09
can't because then I keep myself in the cycle. And I've got to be
37:13
able to embrace that and know so thank you, and know that there was
37:17
a reason for all that. And it's and I catch myself because I don't
37:22
want to say, well, it was her anger or it was his anger
37:24
or whatever, because that's placing blame again. That's again taking outside of myself
37:30
and putting it on someone else. It's the jab, it's the gym,
37:34
it's the car, it's the whatever. Right, I'm putting something outside of
37:37
me. But now I get to sit here and recognize it was just an
37:40
allowance for me to let go of that energy. I didn't need that energy.
37:45
Yeah, And it's just that's a discernment, right, It's just learning
37:51
to navigate within yourself these different situations. And it's not to me. We're
38:00
here, we're human, and it's we're here to be in the presence of
38:04
other people, to help other people, to associate with other people, so
38:09
to you know, a solution might be to become a hermit, but that
38:14
is not serving the purpose of being in the physical body, to my to
38:20
my belief system as I speak this, So it's learning to get better and
38:27
better, right, It's just learning to be in the presence of other people,
38:32
no matter how they show up. And yeah, like you said,
38:37
not blaming them for the way you're feeling. I'm feeling because something's going on
38:42
within me and I have to navigate that. That's up to me. And
38:46
so it's just a learning process and we have lots and lots of opportunities to
38:52
practice. That's right. And it's garting to know yourself, right. I
38:57
go back always to the conversation that you talked about getting to it's getting to
39:00
know ourselves. And it's like, wider are these things there? Because a
39:04
lot of stuff we compartmentalized. We didn't know what to do with all these
39:07
emotions and these feelings and stuff, and we put them into certain spaces and
39:10
within our beings our vessels. Just like it's our house. We just kind
39:15
of stuff it here, stuff that's there, swept it under the rug over
39:17
there, and now it's just it's the opportunity for all that stuff it's we're
39:21
doing house cleaning. If we want to look at it in a different way,
39:23
we get to we're cleaning house, and it feels good. It feels
39:27
lighter, and anyone should know that. Well, I shouldn't say should anyone
39:31
could recognize that if you take the time to clean your house and then you
39:35
step back, it actually is brighter. Right when you take a time to
39:39
look at it, it feels better. You feel good to sit down in
39:43
that space. And the saying is I believe Louise Hay said this was in
39:47
order to clean your house, you have to see the dirt. But it's
39:57
true. The first time I heard that, I mean it was the beginning
40:00
of my journey. I was just like, well, son of a gun.
40:05
That's probably not the words I said. I probably sat at fuck.
40:08
Yeah. So yeah, ay, any final words. We're gonna wrap this
40:15
up. We have Mother's day to day and I have a date, so
40:22
I'm excited and one of my things is going out and being out in nature
40:27
and we're gonna go to the Wild Animal Park. So I'm excited about that
40:30
and that's just that's that's good for me and my soul. So I want
40:36
to go do that I would say, get to know yourself. Yeah,
40:40
everybody else, I get to know yourself. Do what makes you spick?
40:45
Be curious? This is what I said, You know, be curious about
40:47
yourself because so much stuff going on within you that you don't even understand,
40:52
and you're too focused on other people, distracted with all the distractions, Like,
40:58
be curious about yourself. How do you feel this? Why are you
41:00
feeling this way? What emotions are you processing? What things are your what's
41:07
words are being talked in your head and you're giving attention to or how can
41:12
you shift? Like there's so much going on in my package like I have
41:16
taken I have put more attention on me than I did on other people trying
41:24
to fix them. Awesome, I love it And happy Mothers Days all of
41:31
you out there. Yeah, so thanks for hanging out with us. Tea
41:37
time with Amy and Bev. We do this because it's our own therapy,
41:42
and the conversations are beneficial for other people. So if you find that you
41:47
got some value out of this conversation, please share it with your friends or
41:52
family, or at least have the conversations yourselves, you know, share the
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everywhere. Thanks saying so thank you all right, my friends, so thank
42:30
you so much for hanging out with us, and we will see you next
42:32
time. Good Bye.