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Every Birthday A Badge of Honor: Aging With Confidence and Wisdom · All About The Joy

• 0:00
  Carmen Lezeth: Hey everyone, welcome to All About the Joy.
• 0:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm Carmen and I am your host, creator of All About the Joy and I have to answer this question now that I've had time to think about it fully and completely.
• 0:12
  Carmen Lezeth: But first, for those of you who were, and are excited to listen to the live stream from this past Thursday, please know that you can find that on YouTube, unedited raw and on point.
• 0:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Joel Lava hung out with us and, although it was an unexpected and maybe somewhat interesting conversation, moments before he joined the show, unfortunately he realized he had gotten banned from social media meta to be specific.
• 0:38
  Carmen Lezeth: For those of you who don't know who meta is, that is Facebook, instagram threads.
• 0:42
  Carmen Lezeth: They also own WhatsApp, but I'm not sure that that's something they banned him from.
• 0:46
  Carmen Lezeth: But either way, moments before he came and joined us, he had been banned.
• 0:51
  Carmen Lezeth: So we kind of talked about that and kind of let him vent, and I think that's what's part of what's cool about the community over at All About the Joy.
• 0:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, it is this kind of neighborhood feel where you just come and hang out most times in the chat, but we would love to have more and more people just come in and talk about their day or what's going on, and we want to be that supportive group and crew.
• 1:11
  Carmen Lezeth: So, yeah, if you want to listen to that, really kind of interesting fun.
• 1:16
  Carmen Lezeth: We did talk about other stuff too, though.
• 1:18
  Carmen Lezeth: We did talk about dating and relationships, so I'm not saying it was all about that and he was really cool about it because he was, you know, he knew that he was in the mood and I had told him he didn't have to come up, but he wanted to and I'm glad he did.
• 1:29
  Carmen Lezeth: He's a great guy and we don't know what's going to happen with his socials.
• 1:34
  Carmen Lezeth: We're trying to figure out a way in which he can appeal it and I have to tell you I've learned a lot about Facebook and how how it does its things.
• 1:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I think part of the problem with what's frustrating Joel and what I'm learning is that he doesn't know exactly why he's been banned.
• 1:47
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, they didn't give him any information, even though he provided all of the information.
• 1:52
  Carmen Lezeth: They wanted to make sure it was him and they just banned all of his pages and everything like that, and I follow him regularly, so I don't remember anything that was so horrible.
• 2:03
  Carmen Lezeth: He is someone who's against gun violence, which I think most people are, so he does post a lot about that and he's definitely a Democrat and so he's supportive of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris and he has pages and postings about that.
• 2:19
  Carmen Lezeth: But I have seen worse on Facebook and I mean really bad stuff.
• 2:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, his is just a political viewpoint that's on the left.
• 2:28
  Carmen Lezeth: But I don't recall anything because I would have told him.
• 2:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I would have been like you shouldn't be putting that up there because that's bad.
• 2:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I would have told him that.
• 2:35
  Carmen Lezeth: So it's a weird thing.
• 2:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I wonder what it is.
• 2:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I hope it was an error.
• 2:39
  Carmen Lezeth: It looked like an automated message that he kept receiving from them.
• 2:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You know something that they do, and when I researched Facebook, they actually do use a lot of automation in trying to prevent a lot of this stuff.
• 2:51
  Carmen Lezeth: So hopefully we can figure it out.
• 2:53
  Carmen Lezeth: But anyways, the whole show wasn't about that.
• 2:54
  Carmen Lezeth: But just to let you know, that is live on YouTube and you can check it out.
• 2:59
  Carmen Lezeth: And it was a fun episode, more so because I felt like we were supportive and there to listen, and it's just another aspect of why All About the Joy is kind of a great hangout on Thursday nights.
• 3:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I'd love to do it more times during the week and hopefully in the future we'll be able to do that, because I do think we need that kind of community and that kind of space to kind of just hang out and see how we're all doing.
• 3:20
  Carmen Lezeth: It goes back to how I grew up.
• 3:24
  Carmen Lezeth: I used to hang out on the streets, maybe a little bit more so than I should have at such a young age, but back then you would, you know you'd come home from work or rehearsal or school and there'd be all your friends, you know, hanging out on the street and you would just touch base and say hi.
• 3:39
  Carmen Lezeth: And I know that the visual is usually like gang members, you know, and you know some people I guess would have called a lot of people in that neighborhood gang members or whatever.
• 3:51
  Carmen Lezeth: But it was back in the day and it wasn't.
• 3:52
  Carmen Lezeth: It was friendship, it was family, it was a community feel of knowing you belonged and that people were excited to see you.
• 4:00
  Carmen Lezeth: And that's what we're trying to create here on All About the Joy.
• 4:02
  Carmen Lezeth: We're not necessarily trying to create gangs by any means right, but just a neighborhood feel, a community feel and a place to hang out.
• 4:11
  Carmen Lezeth: And so in these beginning stages we are so grateful for all of our followers and I want to give a shout out, as I always do, to LinkedIn, who is crazy, always supporting us, and I just want to say thank you to people who follow our page there.
• 4:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm always surprised by people who join us and even though we're small, we're mighty and I love that.
• 4:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you to all the podcast followers out there.
• 4:32
  Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate you on Spotify and iTunes and iHeartRadio and all the other places where you listen to us.
• 4:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I see the ratings.
• 4:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate it, and thank you for those of you who keep following us on Facebook and everywhere else that we are.
• 4:46
  Carmen Lezeth: If you can add us on YouTube, that would be great.
• 4:48
  Carmen Lezeth: We don't have a lot of followers on YouTube, so please go check us out there.
• 4:50
  Carmen Lezeth: You can find our YouTube channel under Carmen Lisette.
• 4:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I'll also put it.
• 4:55
  Carmen Lezeth: It's in the show notes as well.
• 4:57
  Carmen Lezeth: It is all about the joy, but what I'm realizing is that there's quite a few other kind of joy-esque YouTube shows out there.
• 5:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So you just put in my first name, carmen, and my middle name, lisette, l-e-z-e-t-h on YouTube and you'll find us.
• 5:13
  Carmen Lezeth: So we'll fix that in the future, but for right now, we just really appreciate everyone who is following us and who has been so loyal and awesome since the beginning, and I only see even better things happening in 2025.
• 5:26
  Carmen Lezeth: So thank you.
• 5:27
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, with all that said, let me just move on to the next thing I want to talk about, because I was asked by a Gen Zer this past week what it's like to get old.
• 5:39
  Carmen Lezeth: And then they said is it all that bad?
• 5:43
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm laughing because I'm clearly older, but I wouldn't necessarily call myself old, and I think that's kind of the cool part about getting older is that you don't really realize you're getting older until some really interesting specific things happen and you're like oh my God, I'm older, right?
• 6:02
  Carmen Lezeth: One thing I'll give you a great example is like I noticed that I'm older because I used to be so in love with, like Harrison Ford when he was, you know, Indiana Jones, and now he's like in his 80s or something or really close to it, I think he's 80 something and I'm like wait a minute, what?
• 6:19
  Carmen Lezeth: There's no way.
• 6:20
  Carmen Lezeth: And those are those moments where you realize that you're, you know, not 20 or not 30 years old, and so I think it's all relative.
• 6:28
  Carmen Lezeth: When I was speaking to this Gen Zer, this teenager, I was trying to explain to them, you know, when you were four years old, you thought that somebody who was, you know, 12 or 13 or 14 was so much older than you are, and it's kind of the same thing.
• 6:44
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, a 14 or 15 or 18-year-old isn't that much older because I'm older than you are, and it's kind of the same thing.
• 6:46
  Carmen Lezeth: A 14 or 15 or 18-year-old isn't that much older because I'm older than them.
• 6:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that they're really young.
• 6:51
  Carmen Lezeth: But when you're four years old, you think everybody, so it's all relative, it's all relative.
• 6:55
  Carmen Lezeth: So I think I still have another 25, 30 years before I feel old.
• 7:03
  Carmen Lezeth: And the reason why I say that is I think about some of the great celebrities who are in their 80s, like the Harrison Fords.
• 7:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't think they would tell you that they feel old, right.
• 7:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I think about Jane Fonda, who's 86.
• 7:17
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think she's 86.
• 7:19
  Carmen Lezeth: And then Lily Tomlin, I think, is 85, 86.
• 7:22
  Carmen Lezeth: And I bet if you asked those women they wouldn't be like yeah, I'm old.
• 7:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I think things have changed and aging has changed.
• 7:31
  Carmen Lezeth: And when I think about my mom, when she passed away she was 49 years old.
• 7:35
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm older than she was, but when she was 49, she was old, old.
• 7:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And the reason why I said it is because her circumstances, her health, the work that she did, the time period it was just a different time, and so old back then is different than now.
• 7:52
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, as humans progress, as technology gets better, as medications become better and fiercer, and you know there are all these advancements in eating better or whatever it is the term, old changes because we all are getting older.
• 8:09
  Carmen Lezeth: People are living to 100 so much easier than ever before.
• 8:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Like someone turning 100, I have a client whose grandmother just turned 101.
• 8:18
  Carmen Lezeth: And let me tell you this woman I've spoken about her before she is in better spirits than most people I know who are in their 70s.
• 8:25
  Carmen Lezeth: And you know I have full-on conversations with her on the phone, no problem, and she has her iPhone and you know it's just really fascinating to me and it makes me happy because it makes me realize that getting older is still what I've always thought, not just a blessing, but something I look forward to.
• 8:45
  Carmen Lezeth: So I know that's an interesting way to think about it, but I'm going to start with and I'll get more into why I've always thought about it.
• 8:51
  Carmen Lezeth: But I'm going to start with and I'll get more into why I've always thought about it that way.
• 8:54
  Carmen Lezeth: But let me start with the physical aspects, because I think that's something a lot of people complain about and I don't experience a lot of these aches and pains when I wake in the morning.
• 9:02
  Carmen Lezeth: A lot of my friends have said that.
• 9:04
  Carmen Lezeth: I think Andrea said it recently on the podcast, on the live stream recently, and I don't know what it is.
• 9:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm almost afraid to jinx it, as I just said it, but I don't wake up with aches and pains.
• 9:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't have, especially after my surgery with my hip.
• 9:19
  Carmen Lezeth: I feel really great physically and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I still, every morning and every night, do some stretching.
• 9:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, I'm not saying I do an hour worth of stretching, but there is definitely this thing that I've always done I wake up in the morning and I stretch, I put my hands, I stand up and I put my hands to the floor and I stretch really up wide and tall and stand up and I do kind of these arm stretches and just kind of.
• 9:48
  Carmen Lezeth: It's kind of like a five or 10 minute before I drink my coffee, stretching.
• 9:51
  Carmen Lezeth: I'll also sit on the ground and do some stretching with my legs.
• 9:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Really, it's like five or 10 minutes and it's just part of me waking up in the morning and I'm not sure.
• 10:00
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sure of the fact that it may be genetic, but I also think it's just that I am always very, very flexible and limber and that may have something to do with not having aches and pains.
• 10:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Now again, I'm not a doctor, I'm just saying this is what works for me.
• 10:14
  Carmen Lezeth: So, physically, things may change as we get older.
• 10:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Like you know, gravity happens right.
• 10:20
  Carmen Lezeth: My latest thing is that I'm starting to see what I call jowls on the chin or your boobs.
• 10:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I've always had like the best boobs ever and I see now that they're starting to sag a little bit, because, you know, gravity is a thing, baby.
• 10:32
  Carmen Lezeth: There's also, you know, wrinkling, that happens and all of these little things.
• 10:36
  Carmen Lezeth: But I know this sounds kind of weird, but I've said this to you already.
• 10:40
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm kind of just saying this for the podcast, but I embrace all of that.
• 10:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, my thing that kind of throws me for a loop is the gray hair.
• 10:48
  Carmen Lezeth: So anyone who's been paying attention lately to the podcast, you know that I went and got my hair done.
• 10:53
  Carmen Lezeth: I got it all highlighted and thank you to Michael Boucher who took the time and did my hair and is part of my team working with me, but I'm going to let the gray come in as best of my ability and we'll see how that goes.
• 11:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So far, so good.
• 11:07
  Carmen Lezeth: But it's because I have all these highlights now, you know, but for some reason gray hair is the thing that kills me.
• 11:12
  Carmen Lezeth: That reminds me that I'm old, it throws me for a loop.
• 11:14
  Carmen Lezeth: But you just work around that stuff.
• 11:16
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I do think that there are things that happen physically that is normal to all of us.
• 11:23
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I used to be able to run 10 miles and I used to run three miles pretty easily and my workouts have changed Now.
• 11:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if that's because I've gotten older or if it's because since COVID and having my surgery during COVID, if it's now just that I'm so out of shape because it's been a long time since I've really had a hard workout like that on a regular basis.
• 11:46
  Carmen Lezeth: So every time I try to work out I feel like I'm just starting again and it's so debilitating and, you know, sad for me.
• 11:53
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm trying to get back on track and I've told people you know, I've been doing this 10,000 steps a day thing and I keep making it to like 9,000, something like 9,100 or 9,200.
• 12:04
  Carmen Lezeth: And then I don't make it to 10,000 for the day, which just annoys me to no end.
• 12:08
  Carmen Lezeth: But I am on my way back to trying to get back to my fitness level and I do think that's possible.
• 12:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't think that's an age thing, right, at least not at my age at the moment.
• 12:17
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think the reason why you see people like Jane Fonda, who walk with such grace and beauty, and and Lily Tomlin and I don't know them, but I bet it's because they do some sort of exercise on a regular basis and they take care of themselves.
• 12:32
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, and I'm sure that my client's grandmother, miss Joyce, who she knows how much I adore her and love her she's on her own, she walks around, she does her thing and she's fine.
• 12:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You know.
• 12:44
  Carmen Lezeth: And when I ask her what's the trick to getting older and being so fabulous, she says and I don't know if she's kidding getting older and being so fabulous?
• 12:51
  Carmen Lezeth: She says I don't know if she's kidding, but she says that you know it's to drink a glass of champagne a day and make sure you make it healthy and throw in a strawberry.
• 12:59
  Carmen Lezeth: I kind of love that.
• 12:59
  Carmen Lezeth: So my hope is to be physically, you know, whatever age I am and to be this okay with my body.
• 13:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I do want to get better, fit, wise, I want to get back to the place I was, but I'm not upset with myself, you know.
• 13:14
  Carmen Lezeth: The thing that I think is really different is I don't have as much endurance anymore, like I'm not excited about, like I'm never going to run another marathon.
• 13:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I wanted to run the Boston marathon as like my fourth and last marathon, but it's not going to happen because I don't have the endurance anymore.
• 13:30
  Carmen Lezeth: And what I also noticed about getting older is that exercising for exercise sake is just, it's so boring.
• 13:42
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why it's so much harder for me now.
• 13:43
  Carmen Lezeth: So you end up getting a little bit fatter, you get out of shape, and then it's not easy to lose it because you are older and your metabolism changes.
• 13:48
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 13:48
  Carmen Lezeth: But dancing or doing stuff for fun or listening to music while I'm trying to run, that's all helping.
• 13:54
  Carmen Lezeth: So we'll see how I get through it.
• 13:56
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 13:57
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you're lucky enough, you come to a place where I'm at right now, where you are accepting of your body and you think it's pretty fierce.
• 14:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So for the first time in my entire life, this is where the physicality part changes for me.
• 14:12
  Carmen Lezeth: I love everything about my body, all of it.
• 14:15
  Carmen Lezeth: And let me tell you, in my 20s, 30s and 40s I was fitter, thinner, more athletic and when I think back on those days, I never thought it was good enough, which is weird, because when I go back and look at those pictures I'm like, oh my God, I was hot.
• 14:30
  Carmen Lezeth: And there was this one guy I dated I won't say his name in case he listens to the podcast, but he knows who he is.
• 14:35
  Carmen Lezeth: But he used to always say to me how do you not know how hot you are?
• 14:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Like?
• 14:39
  Carmen Lezeth: He would say that pretty regularly, to the point it would annoy me.
• 14:42
  Carmen Lezeth: And now when I look back on those pictures, I'm like, damn, I was.
• 14:50
  Carmen Lezeth: And I'm telling you if there's anything I could impart on young people today, find a way to love your body right now, the way it is, no matter what, because I love my body now and it's 20, 25 pounds overweight.
• 15:08
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not as fit as I used to be.
• 15:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I can't do the things I used to do and it's really a struggle to get back there.
• 15:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I will.
• 15:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I will be able to do it.
• 15:11
  Carmen Lezeth: Don't get me wrong.
• 15:12
  Carmen Lezeth: It's just taking me a longer time to get there.
• 15:15
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you can embrace that now and start looking at yourself in the mirror and being like, oh my God, I am beautiful, even if you don't think it, just start telling yourself that, because, let me tell you, the damage we do to ourselves with the talk we have in our head is so damaging and you don't realize it until you're much older.
• 15:32
  Carmen Lezeth: So start doing that.
• 15:34
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, look at yourself in the mirror and look at your body and look at all the beautiful things about it, because you're here and you're fabulous and you have the ability to do things that other people can't do, and you have pluses and fabulousness that someone else doesn't right, whether it's your pretty eyes or your fabulous legs or your great arms or whatever it is.
• 15:55
  Carmen Lezeth: For me, I was always like I have great boobs.
• 15:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Child, I used to always look like that.
• 15:58
  Carmen Lezeth: They're huge, but I always thought they were cool.
• 16:01
  Carmen Lezeth: So I just think you need to start figuring out a way to embrace your physicality as much as possible.
• 16:07
  Carmen Lezeth: If I had this amount of confidence in my body as I do now, if I had it when I was your age.
• 16:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Oh my God, I would be unstoppable.
• 16:18
  Carmen Lezeth: It would have been a whole other ballgame.
• 16:20
  Carmen Lezeth: So I don't know why it happens this way.
• 16:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you can understand how perfect you are and start establishing this confidence, you are going to be so much more settled, and here's the great thing that I think is interesting.
• 16:35
  Carmen Lezeth: It also helps prevent you from getting bombarded by jealousy of other people or all the ads that you see on television or in social media.
• 16:46
  Carmen Lezeth: It's almost like you're creating a Teflon kind of protective packaging, right, that will protect you from harm.
• 16:52
  Carmen Lezeth: When you start feeling confident about your body and how beautiful you are in the world, right, and you realize you're not fat, you're not skinny, you're not all of these bad, negative things.
• 17:03
  Carmen Lezeth: You are who you are in this moment and you are fabulous and beautiful.
• 17:06
  Carmen Lezeth: Like that's not just bullshit, I'm telling you, that's actual truth.
• 17:10
  Carmen Lezeth: If you can start seeing that in you, it does start to work and you start to gain some confidence because you'll see little pearls of the beauty that you are and then you start to realize, like wait a minute, why am I getting jealous of that girl over there with the blonde hair?
• 17:25
  Carmen Lezeth: Blah, blah, blah, I got the curly hair.
• 17:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I got this over here.
• 17:29
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 17:30
  Carmen Lezeth: So that's something I would say is fabulous about getting older.
• 17:34
  Carmen Lezeth: You start to realize how perfect and beautiful and amazing your body is, that it all works because you know you have friends that maybe are having problems getting up in the morning because they feel tense or right.
• 17:48
  Carmen Lezeth: So we all have ailments and stuff.
• 17:49
  Carmen Lezeth: So do your stretches and do your self-talk in a positive way.
• 17:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that would be a really great thing.
• 17:57
  Carmen Lezeth: And getting older, these things solidify themselves.
• 18:00
  Carmen Lezeth: You start to not care what people think about your body and you start learning to love who you is on the inside, no matter what.
• 18:06
  Carmen Lezeth: For me, I love what's out on the outside as well, because I keep doing that really good, positive talk that I learned as a young kid and if I were your age again and I had that, I would take it.
• 18:16
  Carmen Lezeth: Now let's talk about mentally.
• 18:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Let's talk about the brain part, because I think that's a really fascinating part as well.
• 18:22
  Carmen Lezeth: To me, this might be the best part about aging.
• 18:24
  Carmen Lezeth: It's the brain part.
• 18:26
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what I'm going to call it.
• 18:28
  Carmen Lezeth: There are these constant cliche or reminders of things like the loss of memory or being more depressed or having anxiety as you get older, especially if you're losing friends because of age or circumstances.
• 18:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, as you get older, your relationships change, your friendships change your marriages I mean hopefully not for most people, but they do.
• 18:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Unfortunately, I think it's still more than half of marriages end in divorce, and so I'm not just talking about the marriage, I'm talking about relationships in general.
• 18:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Change, you know, and, interestingly enough, people die.
• 18:59
  Carmen Lezeth: People die for the strangest.
• 19:01
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, my friend, richard died, and he died at 49, which is weird because my mother died at 49 as well but he died in 2012 and it was unexpected and when it happened, it was my friend.
• 19:17
  Carmen Lezeth: It was my friend that died and it freaked me out, you know.
• 19:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But things like that remind you that you're older.
• 19:24
  Carmen Lezeth: So I totally get it like brain-wise and emotionally it's a little bit painful, but the thing that I do love most about aging and I've kind of already mentioned this it's the amount of wisdom, and I would never give that up.
• 19:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I wouldn't give any of that up.
• 19:40
  Carmen Lezeth: The wisdom that comes with being older is based on all the experience you've had, right.
• 19:47
  Carmen Lezeth: So if something happens to you and you experience it and then you walk on through it, you've now gained all of this credit towards wisdom in your whole body because you've experienced something that maybe other people haven't right.
• 20:02
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'll give you an example of wisdom that younger folk just don't get, no matter how many times I tell them.
• 20:07
  Carmen Lezeth: Every time it happens I just chuckle to myself and I think, okay, they'll someday get it.
• 20:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Here's the irony.
• 20:14
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not even just young people, this is just people I work with that tend to be Gen Z, but also some older people are just thick-headed.
• 20:21
  Carmen Lezeth: They're just stupid.
• 20:22
  Carmen Lezeth: They don't want to listen.
• 20:22
  Carmen Lezeth: But this is something I talked about the other day.
• 20:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Multitasking is not actually a thing, and I have known this my entire life.
• 20:30
  Carmen Lezeth: People think that they can multitask, meaning that they can do several things at the same time.
• 20:34
  Carmen Lezeth: We just had a podcast I don't know, like a few months ago or a couple months ago, where Jimmy was on and I love Jimmy, he's really cool, but he was also saying that he's a big multitasker, and then he changed the wording.
• 20:47
  Carmen Lezeth: But at the end of the day, let me just explain something to you.
• 20:48
  Carmen Lezeth: There's actually science behind the fact that multitasking is not actually a thing.
• 20:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Your brain cannot focus on two things at the same time.
• 20:57
  Carmen Lezeth: There was a Harvard study that talked about this.
• 20:59
  Carmen Lezeth: Okay, you can only do one thing and then stop that one thing and then do another thing and try and do that quickly and then go back to the thing you were doing before.
• 21:09
  Carmen Lezeth: But you will never be able to do two things at one time because the brain doesn't function in that manner.
• 21:14
  Carmen Lezeth: The actual term is called task switching costs.
• 21:18
  Carmen Lezeth: So now we're not talking about music.
• 21:20
  Carmen Lezeth: Music is in the different part of the brain.
• 21:22
  Carmen Lezeth: So when you're driving to work and you're listening to music, the reason why that's okay or you're able to do it, is because you're using two different parts of your brain.
• 21:31
  Carmen Lezeth: But research has shown that when people try to multitask, they become more easily distracted.
• 21:36
  Carmen Lezeth: They are less productive oh my God, I see this all the time and they are prone to making mistakes.
• 21:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Hello, ditto, see that all the time.
• 21:43
  Carmen Lezeth: So if you're trying to write an email and you're talking on the phone, it can result in a slower performance in your emails and more errors compared to just focusing on one task at a time.
• 21:52
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why I get annoyed when I call my friends and I hear them doing 15 other things and they get mad at me because I'm like, first of all, it's annoying me in my ear, but secondly, I know they're not listening to me, right?
• 22:02
  Carmen Lezeth: That's why I don't talk to my friends that much on the phone no more because they get annoyed with me.
• 22:07
  Carmen Lezeth: But the point of the matter is is that this is one of those things that it doesn't matter how many times I say it, people are not going to get it.
• 22:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Until they get it.
• 22:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Young people are never going to get it, because young people think that they know more.
• 22:18
  Carmen Lezeth: This is very true.
• 22:19
  Carmen Lezeth: This is not to diss you.
• 22:21
  Carmen Lezeth: I was your age, right, so we think we know better.
• 22:24
  Carmen Lezeth: When we're your age, you think you know better than everyone else and that you've got something over on the old people.
• 22:29
  Carmen Lezeth: And what I'm trying to tell you is is that multitasking is not a thing, and I have people that I work with that are, you know, I don't want to say below me, because I don't work like that.
• 22:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I work with people, but I'm their supervisor and no matter how many times I try to give them this hint, they will still try to do 15 things at one time and then try to figure out why they're so stressed, why they have so much anxiety and why they keep fucking everything up Right, why they have so much anxiety and why they keep fucking everything up right.
• 22:55
  Carmen Lezeth: And then they get mad because the boss will scream and yell at them because they fucked up the chart or whatever it is.
• 22:58
  Carmen Lezeth: But my point is is that you need to figure things out.
• 23:03
  Carmen Lezeth: When you're ready to figure them out and when you get to be my age, what's really great is that you go back and you realize like, oh man, I wish I had understood that the first time somebody told me you know what I mean.
• 23:15
  Carmen Lezeth: And now, as you're older, you get things so much quicker.
• 23:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Like there's no doubt in my mind that now, when I see something like toxicity or I see somebody who's trying to do something that I know is not going to work, I know it right away.
• 23:29
  Carmen Lezeth: As we get older, social connections also change and you may have a lot less friends in your life, and that seems to be a really big one for people who are my age.
• 23:40
  Carmen Lezeth: People get so sad because their friendships change.
• 23:43
  Carmen Lezeth: You can see this on Facebook and I know a lot of you.
• 23:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Young people don't use Facebook anymore and I don't blame you, but for those of us who do have a lot of our old connections and friendships to high school and grammar school, whatever.
• 23:53
  Carmen Lezeth: On Facebook you can see it because there are some people who are still like I can't believe we were friends for this long and you treat me like this, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
• 24:01
  Carmen Lezeth: And I think the difference is when you get older you start to realize you don't need a lot of people that you know in your life.
• 24:10
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't need to be part of every group and every situation where there are tons of people around.
• 24:16
  Carmen Lezeth: You don't have to be liked by everybody.
• 24:18
  Carmen Lezeth: What you realize is all you need is one or two really good friends, like real friends, like friend friends, right, the ride or die friends.
• 24:25
  Carmen Lezeth: And if you have one of those, if you have one ride or die friend, you are ridiculously wealthy, right.
• 24:32
  Carmen Lezeth: So I think that changes also as you get older.
• 24:36
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not that.
• 24:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it's.
• 24:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't think it's a bad thing, because I don't want to hang out all the time.
• 24:41
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to go clubbing at 10, 11, 12, one or two in the morning.
• 24:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to go to a bar every Thursday, friday night.
• 24:48
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't want to go dancing all the time because you change your priorities and what you want to do changes.
• 24:54
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not a bad thing, it just is a different thing.
• 24:58
  Carmen Lezeth: Again, I go back to this idea that when you were four years old, you liked to go to Toys R Us and I could spend the entire day with you at Toys R Us just walking around the store, you trying to decide what you want for a birthday gift or whatever it is.
• 25:11
  Carmen Lezeth: But now if I were to take you there and I'd be like, all right, happy 17th birthday, whatever it is, you'd be like what the hell, what are we doing at Toys R Us?
• 25:21
  Carmen Lezeth: You would have no interest in it whatsoever.
• 25:23
  Carmen Lezeth: So it's the same thing.
• 25:25
  Carmen Lezeth: It's things just change because as you get older, your priorities and your journey and where you're going and the pathway that you see for yourself is different.
• 25:35
  Carmen Lezeth: So, even though back in the day when I was growing up, I would go dancing and I would go clubbing and I would love hanging out in the street and I would love hanging out with all my friends, that's changed now.
• 25:45
  Carmen Lezeth: Now I love going out to lunch with one of my dear friends who I haven't seen in a long time, and I love going out to dinner once in a while with a few different friends, but I prefer now to watch some movies and TV shows by myself.
• 25:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I remember we used to go and watch Sex and the City with a bunch of girls and it was so much fun.
• 26:02
  Carmen Lezeth: But even back then I remember like I wish they would just shut up so I could watch a show, you know.
• 26:07
  Carmen Lezeth: But we'd all be drinking our drinks or whatever, and it'd be fun.
• 26:09
  Carmen Lezeth: But in my head I remember thinking like it would be so great to be able to do this by myself.
• 26:13
  Carmen Lezeth: And now I have that chance and I do that all the time.
• 26:16
  Carmen Lezeth: So things change and I don't think that's a bad thing.
• 26:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Your social connections will change.
• 26:23
  Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't mean that you're not lovable or great or an amazing friend.
• 26:26
  Carmen Lezeth: It just means that you're getting older and just like changing from loving Toys R Us as a store or whatever, the same thing changes with the amount of friends you need as you get older.
• 26:37
  Carmen Lezeth: You know I feel really blessed because I have quite a few friends in my circle.
• 26:42
  Carmen Lezeth: But I have to tell you, even when I think about it, I know that I've always been extremely wealthy that way and I'm grateful for it.
• 26:49
  Carmen Lezeth: But I don't need more than this.
• 26:51
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm okay and you'll be okay too.
• 26:54
  Carmen Lezeth: What you have to remember is that your friendships that you have now in high school are going to change.
• 27:00
  Carmen Lezeth: You may still know them.
• 27:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I know a lot of people I danced with from back in the day, or a lot of people I performed with.
• 27:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I know a lot of people from grammar school and high school.
• 27:08
  Carmen Lezeth: They're all on my Facebook page, but I don't know them anymore.
• 27:11
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know who they are, and you know what I mean.
• 27:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Like I know who they are, but I don't know, know, know them, I don't spend time with them.
• 27:19
  Carmen Lezeth: So what is the whole point of me saying all this?
• 27:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Well, first of all, because you asked me, and you asked in such a serious but almost afraid way, like it was horrible to get older, and I just I had time to think about it.
• 27:34
  Carmen Lezeth: I was thrown by how serious the question was that you gave to me, and I love that you asked, so I'm also sharing it with anybody else who might want to know.
• 27:42
  Carmen Lezeth: But here's what I want to tell you I love who I am today and I would never go back to being your age, and I'm excited by what's next and I'm excited by the future, because the alternative is not being here at all.
• 27:54
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, I'm not trying to be morbid or anything, but getting older is a blessing and I don't think we embrace it enough or celebrate it enough until we see someone die, especially if someone dies so young.
• 28:06
  Carmen Lezeth: So if I were you, I would take this to heart.
• 28:09
  Carmen Lezeth: One of the things that happened to me when I was little was I was afraid of growing up.
• 28:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, I didn't think that I would make it to my next birthday.
• 28:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I would have these conversations with God and I would always do some bargain and I would say things like God, if you let me make it to 16, I promise I will be good and I promise I will be successful and I promise I will do this and I would do all these bargains.
• 28:29
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, I promise I will forgive A, b and C or whatever it is.
• 28:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Right.
• 28:32
  Carmen Lezeth: Now it sounds like a very sad thing, but the truth is that became the reason why I love my birthday so much.
• 28:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, I don't remember anyone ever celebrating my birthday.
• 28:42
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't remember cakes and candles or parties at all.
• 28:45
  Carmen Lezeth: I think I had a couple of them.
• 28:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I saw a picture of me when I was like three or four years old in front of a cake.
• 28:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if it was mine, but I'm going to assume it was.
• 28:52
  Carmen Lezeth: But I don't remember, as I got older, as a teenager or whatever, ever having a birthday party.
• 28:57
  Carmen Lezeth: But I always secretly loved my birthday because for me it was I got through to another year, right.
• 29:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So for me it wasn't about I'm afraid of getting older.
• 29:10
  Carmen Lezeth: I was excited that I made it to another year, that God had listened to my bargain and made me make it through to another year, and I think what's interesting about that is that, even to this day, it was a learning moment for me.
• 29:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I learned that, instead of being afraid of getting older, I am grateful that I had the chance to finish the prior year.
• 29:35
  Carmen Lezeth: So the celebration of my birthday isn't really like oh my God, I'm going to be whatever 53 or whatever it is.
• 29:41
  Carmen Lezeth: For me it's about oh my God, I get to be 53.
• 29:46
  Carmen Lezeth: Now I just made it past 52.
• 29:48
  Carmen Lezeth: Yay, and it becomes this kind of really great thing and it's a personal holiday for me and for the longest time I would thing.
• 29:52
  Carmen Lezeth: And it's a personal holiday for me and for the longest time I would celebrate it all month and I would go to lunch or dinner with one of my friends, or I do special things for myself throughout the entire month because I wanted to applaud and celebrate, being grateful for the opportunity to live another day and have another year in front of me, and I wish that more people, not just people like you, I wish more people would think that way about their birthdays, because getting older is awesome.
• 30:19
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not just a gift, but like it's not.
• 30:22
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not just a gift, right, it's filled with so much more good than bad.
• 30:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Sure, there are things that I wish didn't happen, of course, I mean, if we're gonna be silly about it, I again I'm going to stress, I don't know what happened when I was younger, but clearly I hate gray hair on me.
• 30:36
  Carmen Lezeth: I really don't know.
• 30:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I wonder if, like when I was born, there was like a nurse that dropped me or something and she was all gray haired or something.
• 30:43
  Carmen Lezeth: I have no idea.
• 30:44
  Carmen Lezeth: But I am now trying to embrace that and just get through it and I'm letting it come through.
• 30:50
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, and sure, there's the wrinkles and the sagging, all the stuff I talked about in the beginning of this, but I'm telling you the wisdom, the knowing, the pure joy, the ability to love my body in whatever state it's, in the confidence I have, the things that I know that are so solid that's like no other.
• 31:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I would never, ever, ever want to go back, not even with all this wisdom, because the only way you get this wisdom is by going through what you go through.
• 31:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm going to ask you would you want to go back to being four years old?
• 31:19
  Carmen Lezeth: Would you want to go back to being nine years old?
• 31:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Right, I mean, it's kind of that same thing.
• 31:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe there's a part of you that likes certain things from back then.
• 31:26
  Carmen Lezeth: But would I really give it all up?
• 31:29
  Carmen Lezeth: Hell, no, no way.
• 31:31
  Carmen Lezeth: So do yourself a favor and change your perspective on getting older.
• 31:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Do it now right.
• 31:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Turning 30 is not getting older, it's just what's next.
• 31:40
  Carmen Lezeth: Right.
• 31:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Turning 40 is not getting older, it's just what's next and it's fantastic.
• 31:46
  Carmen Lezeth: And it can be fantastic if you make it about another year done and another year to look forward to.
• 31:51
  Carmen Lezeth: So getting older.
• 31:53
  Carmen Lezeth: We need to change the idea of that in our own heads.
• 31:57
  Carmen Lezeth: Getting older is a great and fantastic thing.
• 32:00
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not a miserable thing.
• 32:01
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not about all aches and pains and oh, my God and my no, there were brilliant things about it and we need to start focusing on that part of it.
• 32:09
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 32:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Like we need to do that.
• 32:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Look, you don't go from being 16 and then wake up one day and you're 53.
• 32:16
  Carmen Lezeth: That's not how it happens.
• 32:18
  Carmen Lezeth: It's all a gradual thing, because the one cliche truth that I will admit to as much as I hate cliches, but this one is true it does go by real fast.
• 32:29
  Carmen Lezeth: It does, and I know time doesn't really change in any way, shape or form, but because we're not paying attention, because we're not embracing the beauty and the joy of things, man, it does go by really, really fast.
• 32:43
  Carmen Lezeth: So don't waste it.
• 32:44
  Carmen Lezeth: Don't waste it on things that don't matter and certainly don't waste emotional energy at all.
• 32:49
  Carmen Lezeth: Preserve that and tread lightly, baby.
• 32:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 32:53
  Carmen Lezeth: Get away from toxic people.
• 32:55
  Carmen Lezeth: If someone's making you feel uncomfortable, get away from them.
• 32:58
  Carmen Lezeth: If somebody's making you feel bad about who you are as a beautiful entity on the planet, walk away from that shit Nuh-uh.
• 33:05
  Carmen Lezeth: You are here for a reason and a purpose, and part of that is learning who you are and who you can be in the world, and the only way to do that is to start loving who you are.
• 33:18
  Carmen Lezeth: No matter what you think is wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with you in this moment in time.
• 33:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, if you have some issues, if you're concerned about some stuff, then, yeah, seek out and get some help on those things.
• 33:33
  Carmen Lezeth: But don't hate that you have a little weight on you, or don't hate that you're too skinny, or don't hate that your nose might not be the way you think it should be.
• 33:41
  Carmen Lezeth: Your nose is exactly, perfectly fine.
• 33:42
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I mean.
• 33:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Whatever your hair, whatever it is, embrace all of it, because getting older it's not just a motherfucking gift, it's an honor.
• 33:51
  Carmen Lezeth: So I hope that's a better, more thorough answer.
• 33:55
  Carmen Lezeth: So, for those of you who don't know, I'm going to change over now and start to say some goodbyes.
• 34:01
  Carmen Lezeth: We will not be having a live streaming show this upcoming Thursday because it's Thanksgiving.
• 34:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So happy Thanksgiving to everyone and my hope is that, no matter how you're spending your holiday, that you are finding time to rest and love on yourself as much as possible and be kind to yourself.
• 34:16
  Carmen Lezeth: And if you have to be around family ie some toxic folk I'm not saying all family are toxic, but this is when this stuff kind of happens then I hope you find your way through it with grace and patience and kindness, and find joy in it anyways, as always, right?
• 34:32
  Carmen Lezeth: So please support the show by liking our content, subscribe to our YouTube and LinkedIn channels, please, and by sharing the joy to your family and friends, sharing with them that we have the live stream on Thursday nights at 6 pm Pacific and 9 pm Eastern.
• 34:49
  Carmen Lezeth: We'd love to have them join us as well.
• 34:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Look, we are still at the beginning of this journey and we love everyone who has been just supporting us, even though we're so small, and I mean we're getting bigger every day, and I'm really grateful for that.
• 35:03
  Carmen Lezeth: So please share the joy all about the joy with all of your friends and family and come join us in the live stream so that you can get bigger with us too.
• 35:11
  Carmen Lezeth: That would be great.
• 35:12
  Carmen Lezeth: So listen everyone.
• 35:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Thanks again.
• 35:14
  Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate you stopping by and remember, at the end of the day, it really is all about the joy.
• 35:21
  Carmen Lezeth: Goodbye everyone.
• 35:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
• 35:25
  Carmen Lezeth: All About the Joy.
• 35:26
  Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks.
• 35:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Have a sweet day.