Latest / Unstoppable Success Podcast / Break the Beliefs, Ditch the B.S., Reclaim Your Life | Heather McNally

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Break the Beliefs, Ditch the B.S., Reclaim Your Life | Heather McNally · Unstoppable Success Podcast

• 0:22
  Jaclyn Strominger: Hello, everybody, and welcome to another amazing episode of the Unstoppable Success Podcast.
• 0:28
  Jaclyn Strominger: I'm your host, Jaclyn Strominger.
• 0:30
  Jaclyn Strominger: And as you know, on this podcast, we hear from amazing individuals, leaders, professionals who share their tips, their tricks, their insights on how you can have unstoppable success.
• 0:42
  Jaclyn Strominger: And today I have the absolute pleasure of introducing you to Heather McNally.
• 0:49
  Jaclyn Strominger: She is so amazing.
• 0:51
  Jaclyn Strominger: So let me give you a little history about or a little bio about Heather to give you a little bit who she is, because you're going to want to connect with her.
• 0:58
  Jaclyn Strominger: She is a transformational guide who works with women to break through limiting beliefs, reconnect with who they truly are, create the lives that feel happy, healthy, and whole.
• 1:08
  Jaclyn Strominger: Her work explores identity, self-trust, boundaries, nervous system awareness, and the unconscious patterns that keep even highly successful women and men stuck.
• 1:23
  Jaclyn Strominger: And Heather is truly passionate about helping women move out of autopilot and into the greater alignment and confidence and fulfillment.
• 1:35
  Jaclyn Strominger: Welcome to Unstoppable Success, Heather.
• 1:39
  Jaclyn Strominger: Thank you so much, Jacqueline.
• 1:41
  Heather McNally: I'm thrilled to be here with you today.
• 1:43
  Jaclyn Strominger: I am so excited to have you here.
• 1:44
  Jaclyn Strominger: Oh God.
• 1:45
  Jaclyn Strominger: Okay.
• 1:46
  Jaclyn Strominger: So tell us, Heather, a little bit about your journey and what led you to the work you are doing today.
• 1:56
  Heather McNally: Okay, so let's go with the short version here.
• 1:58
  Heather McNally: So I grew up, I grew up in a home that was, I had an abuser.
• 2:03
  Heather McNally: My father was my abuser.
• 2:05
  Heather McNally: He was very narcissistic, he was physically abusive, and he was verbally psychologically abusive.
• 2:10
  Heather McNally: And I'll be honest, the the physical, yeah, it hurt.
• 2:14
  Heather McNally: Yeah, it scared me.
• 2:15
  Heather McNally: I didn't want to be near him, but the psychological, that's what did the big damage to me.
• 2:21
  Heather McNally: And so what happened is I grew up in an environment, it was actually very kind of duality, because I had my mom who was amazing, but she was a human being.
• 2:32
  Heather McNally: And I had my father who was narcissistic and didn't see anything wrong with any of what he did.
• 2:38
  Heather McNally: And so even though I had the support of my mom, I had my father telling me who I was.
• 2:43
  Heather McNally: And so let's face it, our belief systems come into our lives by the age of seven, most of them.
• 2:50
  Heather McNally: And it's just our brain trying to adapt to live in this world, right?
• 2:54
  Heather McNally: And so we didn't do anything wrong.
• 2:56
  Heather McNally: Right.
• 2:57
  Heather McNally: Yeah.
• 2:57
  Heather McNally: We didn't do anything wrong, but we have to survive.
• 3:00
  Heather McNally: So our brain is like, all right, what information can I take in that's going to help me figure out how to survive in this world and what I'm supposed to do and what I'm not supposed to do?
• 3:08
  Heather McNally: So that's where you get these belief systems.
• 3:10
  Heather McNally: That's my like two-second explanation of how that happens.
• 3:14
  Heather McNally: And so you grow up thinking things like, Mine were, you're not worthy, you're not good enough.
• 3:19
  Heather McNally: Nobody wants to see or hear you.
• 3:20
  Heather McNally: You need to shut up, you need to sit down.
• 3:22
  Heather McNally: You know, women are inferior to men.
• 3:25
  Heather McNally: And it went on and on and on.
• 3:27
  Heather McNally: And so growing up that way, you know, I really wanted to get out of the house.
• 3:31
  Heather McNally: I couldn't wait to get out of the house.
• 3:32
  Heather McNally: And I went to college.
• 3:33
  Heather McNally: And my first semester in college, whoo, talk about not doing well.
• 3:37
  Heather McNally: I was on the academic probation my first semester.
• 3:40
  Heather McNally: I had like maybe a 1.2 GPA.
• 3:43
  Heather McNally: And here's the thing: I was always the overachiever.
• 3:46
  Heather McNally: I got the A's.
• 3:47
  Heather McNally: I was the one who like, I didn't try to be the teacher's pet psychologically.
• 3:53
  Heather McNally: I probably was reaching for that because I wanted to people please, but I was also enjoying school.
• 4:00
  Heather McNally: I've always loved school.
• 4:01
  Heather McNally: I still love to take classes.
• 4:03
  Heather McNally: But you know, so I go to college.
• 4:05
  Heather McNally: My first semester, it was like, oh, I did nothing.
• 4:07
  Heather McNally: Nobody's gonna be able to tell me what to do.
• 4:09
  Heather McNally: I don't have anyone controlling me.
• 4:12
  Heather McNally: And I met who became my husband at 17 still.
• 4:17
  Heather McNally: And yes, we are now in October, we'll be together 36 years and married 31.
• 4:22
  Heather McNally: Whoop, whoop.
• 4:23
  Heather McNally: And it's it's it's a great thing.
• 4:24
  Heather McNally: Yes, we want to kill each other sometimes, but overall, we adore each other.
• 4:29
  Heather McNally: We have a great marriage, we have a great little family.
• 4:31
  Heather McNally: But I met him and he was the first person that kind of like allowed me to be me and didn't judge me, didn't tell me that I shouldn't, you know.
• 4:40
  Heather McNally: And so my, you know, my learning about who I was and what I could be versus who I had been told I was was a very gradual process for me.
• 4:54
  Heather McNally: Really, really slow gradual process.
• 4:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 4:57
  Jaclyn Strominger: Okay.
• 4:58
  Jaclyn Strominger: So I'll just gonna say, but you did get your grades back up.
• 5:01
  Heather McNally: Oh, I got my grades back up.
• 5:02
  Heather McNally: I graduated over a 3.0.
• 5:04
  Heather McNally: I don't even remember what it was anymore.
• 5:06
  Heather McNally: And I loved school.
• 5:07
  Heather McNally: I actually love learning.
• 5:10
  Heather McNally: It was just that, like, all right, you've been under my thumb all your life.
• 5:14
  Heather McNally: Now you have this freedom to do what you want.
• 5:16
  Heather McNally: And of course, I was 17 when I went to school, turned 18 while I was there, and it was like, whoo, I can do whatever I want.
• 5:23
  Jaclyn Strominger: Right, right.
• 5:24
  Jaclyn Strominger: So, so so I I'm curious though, about you know, the the obviously the transformation has has happened over time, right?
• 5:34
  Jaclyn Strominger: So I you know, and I'm I'm kind of curious what role and how, you know, good or bad, whatever, you know, did your husband help and that time your boyfriend helped play a role in that?
• 5:51
  Jaclyn Strominger: And and I'm asking really for the question because where my brain is going is is so many of us have crazy relationships with our parents.
• 6:00
  Jaclyn Strominger: And sometimes the partner that we have, boyfriend, husband, whatever, may not like our parents and says things that can can hurt the relationship more versus versus help the relationship.
• 6:16
  Jaclyn Strominger: So I'm just kind of curious as to how how you have how that navigated, you know, for you.
• 6:21
  Heather McNally: So I will say that all my life I knew I didn't want this for myself.
• 6:24
  Heather McNally: And it's um definitely not the quote norm, because people who grow up in an abusive environments tend to seek out the same kinds of things in their lives, not because they want it, but it's it's what they feel they deserve.
• 6:37
  Heather McNally: It, you know, you're taught that you know anything else, right?
• 6:40
  Heather McNally: They don't you're taught certain things, so okay, that's what I deserve.
• 6:43
  Heather McNally: I knew from a very young age I didn't want this.
• 6:46
  Heather McNally: And I actually went to my senior of high school and I said, I can't do this for another year.
• 6:51
  Heather McNally: I don't, I don't, and I mean, I'm I'm calm here.
• 6:53
  Heather McNally: I was I lost my mind then.
• 6:56
  Heather McNally: Like I was screaming, crying, ranting.
• 6:58
  Heather McNally: And she said, You have one year left of this, I have the rest of my life.
• 7:02
  Heather McNally: And I will say, I think like I just got goosebumps just now, and I think that it fed into me knowing this is not what I want for my life.
• 7:10
  Heather McNally: So when I met my husband, then boyfriend, the interesting thing about him for me was that we could just sit and talk.
• 7:18
  Heather McNally: And I was kind of intimidated by men, to be honest, even though I was always around males in my life, you know, you're around males and females, but and I had a lot of male friends actually, but I was intimidated by anybody who was outside of that friend zone.
• 7:33
  Heather McNally: But he and I just sat and talked for hours, like immediately, we just connected.
• 7:39
  Heather McNally: And he was definitely somebody who was nothing like my father, and he was like very sure of himself at such a young age, and he knew what he wanted, and he didn't really have that like I care what everybody thinks about me, which to me, I was a hundred percent the opposite.
• 7:57
  Heather McNally: So he gave me space and allowed me to be who I was, and that meant good, bad, ugly, hideous, beautiful, all of it.
• 8:08
  Jaclyn Strominger: Right, good, bad, ugly.
• 8:09
  Jaclyn Strominger: I was all over the all the things, yeah.
• 8:11
  Heather McNally: And he just allowed me to be me and he accepted me for that, and he listened to it and he talked to me about it.
• 8:17
  Heather McNally: And it was like having my best friend, a confidant, a therapist, you know, my love, everything all rolled up in one.
• 8:26
  Heather McNally: And the beautiful thing is we've grown together and we're still the same values, we have the same values in our lives that we did when we were younger.
• 8:35
  Heather McNally: And so that's just we've brought each other along, and that's been so beautiful.
• 8:40
  Heather McNally: And to see a man who does not treat other people terribly, does not treat his spouse terribly, does not, you know, think he's better than everybody in and and to have the same values and the same things that we want in life, it's been beautiful.
• 8:56
  Heather McNally: Now, don't get me wrong, like I said, there are moments, but yeah.
• 9:00
  Jaclyn Strominger: No, but that's really amazing.
• 9:02
  Jaclyn Strominger: And it's really great.
• 9:02
  Jaclyn Strominger: I'm I'm kind of glad that you said that and share and thank you, thank you, thank you so much for sharing that.
• 9:07
  Jaclyn Strominger: And and listeners, I I kind of want you to understand that this is a little bit of a nugget, which is really, you know, uh and I feel like it's the overarching theme.
• 9:15
  Jaclyn Strominger: It's it's it's finding that voice inside of you, finding that voice inside of you to move on, to be, to go beyond whatever has been either stopping you, but to find the voice that you can that you have within yourself to be your biggest cheerleader for you, right?
• 9:38
  Heather McNally: Right.
• 9:38
  Heather McNally: And that because when I was younger and I thought all those things that you're a piece of crap, nobody wants to hear what you have to say, you're only here to please people.
• 9:46
  Heather McNally: He showed me that that wasn't the case.
• 9:49
  Heather McNally: But then he allowed me to actually start being who I was and start figuring that out and be able to act in accordance, right, in alignment with that, as opposed to you're only here for X, Y, Z, and nobody else wants to think about you, hear about you, or anything other than that.
• 10:07
  Heather McNally: And so that was the beginning, definitely, of me or learning my voice.
• 10:12
  Heather McNally: I will say it's taken me a long time to get to where I am now, but and that's why I do what I do because I can see that you can go from I hated myself.
• 10:20
  Heather McNally: When I say I hated myself, I had the SI, you know, I had the thoughts, I had the desire not to be here, I had all of that.
• 10:31
  Heather McNally: And to go from a place where I truly hated myself to like, I can actually say I love myself now.
• 10:38
  Heather McNally: And that's wild for me, considering how long I spent in that hate, hate, hate area.
• 10:45
  Heather McNally: And I was the person who, you know, would show everybody that I know that I'm awful and a piece of crap and nobody wants to be my friend outwardly and say these awful things about myself so that I could kind of like let them know that I know this, you don't have to tell me.
• 11:01
  Heather McNally: But what I did was I hurt myself even more and I made people go, ooh, ooh, I don't know if I want to be around that kind of energy.
• 11:09
  Heather McNally: Because it was hard.
• 11:10
  Heather McNally: It was hard.
• 11:11
  Jaclyn Strominger: So but so this is a really big thing.
• 11:13
  Jaclyn Strominger: Like, I know you would have gotten to where you are with or without him, but great that you have him because he's a great guy.
• 11:18
  Jaclyn Strominger: And yes, like listeners, I know Heather also she's a friend of mine and and work with her, but she's awesome.
• 11:24
  Jaclyn Strominger: And I've met her husband, and he's great.
• 11:26
  Jaclyn Strominger: But you know, but one thing that I that I that I really want to highlight here is and it's love hate oneself, right?
• 11:43
  Jaclyn Strominger: Like love or hate, and the energy that you bring to the table really, really matters.
• 11:51
  Jaclyn Strominger: So whether you and and I and and listeners, the doubt you have in yourself or in your business, you have to learn to wipe that away so that the positivity comes out because the doubt and the negativity it's it people will people can see it and read it in you and you and in and in the energy that you bring to the room when you show up.
• 12:21
  Jaclyn Strominger: So it's not and and the change doesn't happen overnight.
• 12:24
  Jaclyn Strominger: So I just want you to all know that, right?
• 12:26
  Jaclyn Strominger: So I I like for you to share because it is such a big nugget, you know, and you've shared a little bit of it, but just to really kind of hone in on this the you that you hated versus the you that you love, how has your life been different now that you are in this?
• 12:43
  Heather McNally: Oh my word, it's like it's amazing the difference.
• 12:48
  Heather McNally: I can't, it's so hard to describe in certain ways.
• 12:52
  Heather McNally: Like, I find so much joy in something like seeing a hummingbird at my hummingbird feeder.
• 12:58
  Heather McNally: And yep, as I as I get when I and I know we've talked about this before, hummingbirds are so cute.
• 13:04
  Heather McNally: I get just as much joy out of that as I am like going on a trip somewhere.
• 13:09
  Heather McNally: And if you can get to a place where that, and I'm not saying your life is 24-7, I don't believe in that.
• 13:16
  Heather McNally: I believe that we all have feelings, things happen, and we have to feel those feelings, but you can get through it.
• 13:22
  Heather McNally: You don't need to live there, you don't need to land there.
• 13:24
  Heather McNally: And I used to land there, live there, dig, dig the biggest basement there, and my house was like cement.
• 13:30
  Heather McNally: And to be able to say now that I get so much joy out of seeing my dogs be excited when I come in the house, seeing, you know, that I get to go and do something on a beautiful day, even just going outside and sitting outside for a few minutes.
• 13:46
  Heather McNally: And so when I could say that I have that joy now, where I can look back and say, I had joyful things in my life, but I didn't truly appreciate them because I hated myself so much that I sat and I beat myself up for everything I did wrong, what I considered wrong.
• 14:06
  Heather McNally: That, you know, oh, I said the wrong thing.
• 14:08
  Heather McNally: Oh, I went outside and I should have had my hair done.
• 14:12
  Heather McNally: Oh, I, you know, everything I would beat myself up over now, and I'm not saying this was an overnight thing, this took me decades, but everything I have gone through has taught me something.
• 14:23
  Heather McNally: And that's where I think it's so important to look at things and say, I can learn from this, even though it was a horrible situation.
• 14:30
  Heather McNally: Like, for example, my mom went through years of being ill, getting a lung transplant, and a huge roller coaster from there.
• 14:42
  Heather McNally: And that was years, and I was her caretaker and I was her daughter, and I was she was my best friend, and I was her advocate.
• 14:50
  Heather McNally: And going through that experience, it was awful to watch.
• 14:53
  Heather McNally: But at the same time, it was like beautiful.
• 14:57
  Heather McNally: If if that makes sense, it was moments of us sharing gorgeous moments together, moments of us sharing secrets, moments of us just holding each other's hand in silence, moments of me getting frustrated when she called me and said, Are you coming to do my pills?
• 15:13
  Heather McNally: You know, and and all everywhere in between.
• 15:15
  Heather McNally: But it was beautiful because I was able to see her grace and her her power of choice and her appreciating what she had in her life.
• 15:25
  Heather McNally: And I could look at it and say, these are things that she did that I want to, you know, take in as something in my life, but also here are things she didn't do that I want to embrace because I have the opportunity to do it.
• 15:36
  Heather McNally: And so I learned so much through every part of my life that got me to this point.
• 15:42
  Heather McNally: And the joy that I feel in my life now is just the person I was back then would not recognize me.
• 15:51
  Heather McNally: I still have the same values, right?
• 15:54
  Heather McNally: But I I live so differently.
• 15:57
  Jaclyn Strominger: But that's a key thing too, listeners that that Heather's just said, you know, the values are the same.
• 16:03
  Jaclyn Strominger: Like you can change, you can change, but the values of who you are and what really matter most, that's what we call our achievement code, because that those values will take you through the good and the bad.
• 16:18
  Jaclyn Strominger: And it helps you see the right.
• 16:20
  Jaclyn Strominger: And it actually, I think it helps steer you on the right path because you know you want to live the values that you that you believe in.
• 16:26
  Jaclyn Strominger: And sometimes the values, different values take different dominance and priority, but but they're still there, right?
• 16:35
  Jaclyn Strominger: And that's really important to know your know the values that matter most to you, and and know that they can change a bit as you change.
• 16:42
  Jaclyn Strominger: But I think that's so important.
• 16:45
  Heather McNally: So Heather, yeah, that's one of the things I always work on with people is let's talk about your values because I thought I knew what mine were when I sat down and figured them out.
• 16:53
  Heather McNally: And I I was actually a little surprised at what they were.
• 16:56
  Heather McNally: So, but they're really important to discover because it helps you live in alignment.
• 17:01
  Jaclyn Strominger: And that's a key thing.
• 17:02
  Jaclyn Strominger: To live in alignment is so important because when when you are out of alignment, that is one of the things that steers you in the wrong direction, and you're not living to your full truth.
• 17:14
  Jaclyn Strominger: And so getting into alignment is so important.
• 17:18
  Jaclyn Strominger: And I'm glad that you brought that.
• 17:20
  Jaclyn Strominger: I'm really glad that you brought that up.
• 17:21
  Jaclyn Strominger: So, you know helping women and getting to where you are now.
• 17:31
  Jaclyn Strominger: You know, what made you?
• 17:34
  Jaclyn Strominger: I mean, I your your own journey.
• 17:35
  Jaclyn Strominger: So, what was the time that you said, you know what?
• 17:38
  Jaclyn Strominger: I'm ready to help others.
• 17:42
  Heather McNally: It was uh it's been a little bit of a process, but the big inspiration for it came when my mom was ill and when she had had a lung transplant, and whoo, that was a lot.
• 17:54
  Heather McNally: Like we were waiting for it, waiting for it, and we got the call.
• 17:57
  Heather McNally: All right, it's it's time.
• 17:58
  Heather McNally: And we went to the hospital, and we're in the waiting room, and they're going through all the possibilities and all the things.
• 18:03
  Heather McNally: And I thought, is she even gonna make it off the table?
• 18:06
  Heather McNally: And it was like very you face your mortality, even though it wasn't my situation.
• 18:12
  Heather McNally: You really see like this could happen.
• 18:15
  Heather McNally: Like I might not get to see her again, and then she survived that and she did so well for a while.
• 18:22
  Heather McNally: And as we went through this process, and I became her caretaker and her advocate and her healthcare proxy and doing her nurse.
• 18:31
  Heather McNally: I mean, I was everything, and I wouldn't change it for a second.
• 18:35
  Heather McNally: But what I started to see was I had a I had a message.
• 18:39
  Heather McNally: Now, I didn't necessarily want to be on a stage or doing a podcast or doing all these things, but what I started was, well, maybe I could start a blog.
• 18:48
  Heather McNally: And this was you know, years ago.
• 18:50
  Heather McNally: My mom will have been gone 10 years in a couple months.
• 18:53
  Heather McNally: And during that time, I was thinking about these things, so I just kept putting it off and putting it off, and you know, but I was like, maybe I can do a blog.
• 19:02
  Heather McNally: And I was like, if I can help one person, whether it be advocacy or finding your, you know, purpose or anything.
• 19:09
  Heather McNally: And then over time, I I reached out to somebody who became a business coach for me, and she helped me see that we like, no, I didn't just want to have a blog, I wanted to work with people, and so that led into all right, maybe I'll become a coach.
• 19:26
  Heather McNally: And that led into, but my message is so big, maybe I want to speak occasionally.
• 19:30
  Heather McNally: And then before you knew it, you know, so it's taken me years, of course, but when you have that spark, I think that you can't ignore it because if you have that spark, you're you're meant to be thinking about it, right?
• 19:47
  Heather McNally: The spark comes up, the idea comes into your mind, and you go, you've got to say, all right, yeah, I have fear around this, but what's gonna happen looking at my mom?
• 19:58
  Heather McNally: What's gonna happen if I don't?
• 20:00
  Heather McNally: What am I gonna miss out on if I don't?
• 20:02
  Heather McNally: What am I gonna be saying when I'm in her spot talking to my kids, my friends, my family?
• 20:08
  Heather McNally: I don't want to say, Oh, I had this idea and I just thought about it for so many years and I never did it.
• 20:15
  Heather McNally: So you step into it even though you're terrified.
• 20:19
  Heather McNally: And that's what's been happening for me to get to a place where I'm at now where I'm like, I'm loving this.
• 20:26
  Heather McNally: Like, I love podcasting, I love having these conversations, I love helping people, I love what I'm able to do, and I am good at it, which if you told me that 10, 15 years ago, I would have been like, yeah, you're out of your mind.
• 20:39
  Heather McNally: But it's going through and doing things that, yeah, you're terrified, but do it anyway because how else do you become confident?
• 20:47
  Heather McNally: How else do you know you can do it?
• 20:49
  Heather McNally: And that's kind of like what it was.
• 20:52
  Heather McNally: It was the spark, and yeah, it took me time, but now as I do things now, I'm getting faster at doing them because I have the confidence that I know that I can do the things that I was terrified of before.
• 21:04
  Heather McNally: Look what you have done, look what you have done.
• 21:06
  Heather McNally: It's proof, right?
• 21:08
  Jaclyn Strominger: It's proof, right?
• 21:09
  Jaclyn Strominger: So, you know, if you could paint the picture of the ideal person that you would like to help, who is that?
• 21:16
  Heather McNally: Uh so for me, it's women who feel like they have lost that spark, like they don't have a spark.
• 21:27
  Heather McNally: They question themselves, they doubt themselves, they don't think they're doing enough, they've put themselves on the back burner, they will help everybody else.
• 21:39
  Heather McNally: And by the end of the day, there's nothing left for them.
• 21:42
  Heather McNally: They haven't taken the time to shower, they haven't taken the time to feed themselves, they haven't taken the time to sit and do a craft or an art or go for a hike or you know, do the things that would light them up, and it's not selfish to.
• 21:59
  Heather McNally: Do those things.
• 22:00
  Heather McNally: It's what you need.
• 22:02
  Heather McNally: Your body needs you, your mind needs you to take care of yourself.
• 22:07
  Heather McNally: You're not going to be good.
• 22:08
  Heather McNally: And, you know, the cliche of put your oxygen mask on before you help anybody else.
• 22:13
  Heather McNally: It's true.
• 22:14
  Heather McNally: What are you going to do when you pass out?
• 22:15
  Heather McNally: What are you going to do when you are so physically depleted, mentally depleted, that you can't get up and do anything?
• 22:25
  Heather McNally: And I mean, when I had my first son, that's what I did.
• 22:29
  Heather McNally: I was a stay-at-home mom.
• 22:31
  Heather McNally: I had stopped working and I became a stay-at-home mom.
• 22:34
  Heather McNally: And I remember at five months old, he was five months, and I called my husband one afternoon and I just started crying.
• 22:41
  Heather McNally: And he's like, What is it?
• 22:42
  Heather McNally: Now I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
• 22:43
  Heather McNally: We were thrilled that I got to, we were both thrilled that I got to do this.
• 22:46
  Heather McNally: And I loved every second of it, even the hard moments.
• 22:49
  Heather McNally: But I called him and I just started crying.
• 22:51
  Heather McNally: He's like, Oh my God, what's wrong?
• 22:53
  Heather McNally: And I was like, This is hard.
• 22:55
  Heather McNally: And he's like, okay.
• 22:57
  Heather McNally: He's like, what do you want to talk about?
• 22:59
  Heather McNally: And you know, that's where it was, I wasn't eating, I wasn't showering.
• 23:03
  Heather McNally: It's three o'clock in the afternoon.
• 23:04
  Heather McNally: I hadn't eaten anything.
• 23:05
  Heather McNally: I hadn't showered.
• 23:06
  Heather McNally: I hadn't done anything but take care of him, put him down for naps, and clean the house and do the laundry and do the dishes and do everything.
• 23:13
  Heather McNally: And I lost any care for myself.
• 23:17
  Heather McNally: And the problem there is, how am I going to take care of this baby that's depending on me?
• 23:22
  Heather McNally: How am I going to be a partner to my husband who adores me and I adore him, but I have nothing left to give.
• 23:28
  Heather McNally: And so that's the woman I want to talk to.
• 23:30
  Heather McNally: I want to talk to the woman who's like she's at the bottom of everything and she hasn't done anything for herself and she's lost who she is.
• 23:40
  Heather McNally: She doesn't understand that she needs to come back to who she truly is because she's there underneath all of it.
• 23:46
  Jaclyn Strominger: Yeah.
• 23:47
  Jaclyn Strominger: And and I just want to say that here's the thing, the thing about this woman.
• 23:51
  Jaclyn Strominger: It doesn't just have to be a mom who is, but it's it's it could be somebody who's in a workplace.
• 23:59
  Jaclyn Strominger: Because we all know sometimes in the workplace, we give, give, give, give, give as women.
• 24:05
  Jaclyn Strominger: Sometimes we overgive, which is not necessarily what we should be doing.
• 24:09
  Jaclyn Strominger: And we again, we still forget about ourselves.
• 24:14
  Jaclyn Strominger: Right.
• 24:15
  Heather McNally: Because any woman can find herself feeling all the same things, and her circumstances are different.
• 24:21
  Heather McNally: Like when I worked full-time, I worked, it took me an hour and a half to get to work, and then an hour and a half to get home.
• 24:26
  Heather McNally: And I was at work for eight and a half, nine hours.
• 24:29
  Heather McNally: And by the time I got home, then I have to cook dinner.
• 24:32
  Heather McNally: Then I have to clean up after.
• 24:33
  Heather McNally: And I was like, I have nothing left to give.
• 24:35
  Heather McNally: I'm exhausted.
• 24:36
  Heather McNally: I don't even want to look at anybody.
• 24:38
  Heather McNally: I don't want the phone to ring.
• 24:39
  Heather McNally: I don't want, you know, and and then you put yourself last again.
• 24:43
  Heather McNally: And that's what we as women have been socialized to do.
• 24:47
  Heather McNally: And yes, there is a natural tendency in us to be caretakers, but you don't have to be a mom, you know, or you can be the mom whose kids have left the home and they're empty nesters.
• 24:57
  Heather McNally: You and I both know about this.
• 24:58
  Heather McNally: I'm an empty nester.
• 25:00
  Heather McNally: And, you know, what do you do with yourself?
• 25:02
  Heather McNally: Because now half of your purpose is gone and you're so used to giving and giving and giving.
• 25:07
  Heather McNally: Now what do I do?
• 25:08
  Heather McNally: Well, I've got to find 10 other things to keep myself busy.
• 25:10
  Heather McNally: Well, no, you don't.
• 25:12
  Jaclyn Strominger: No, right.
• 25:13
  Jaclyn Strominger: You don't, you don't have to fill the time helping other people.
• 25:16
  Jaclyn Strominger: You can use that time for yourself or use that time with your spouse.
• 25:19
  Jaclyn Strominger: Use that time, you know, or or use that time to actually give back if you want to be, you know, do something philanthropic.
• 25:28
  Jaclyn Strominger: That's a great time to do something that you're passionate about.
• 25:32
  Jaclyn Strominger: Or, you know, it's it's interesting, like maybe it's finding something that you want to take a class in to learn more about.
• 25:39
  Jaclyn Strominger: You know, I mean, I was kidding around the other day because I met with a friend of mine yesterday and and she said, Well, what are you gonna do?
• 25:48
  Jaclyn Strominger: I mean, I'm like, Yeah, I know.
• 25:49
  Jaclyn Strominger: It's like no more basketball games, no more, no more going on.
• 25:53
  Jaclyn Strominger: Like, I'm like, oh, I'll actually be able to ski a whole day.
• 25:56
  Jaclyn Strominger: I can go hike for a whole day.
• 25:57
  Jaclyn Strominger: I mean, you know, there's things that you can do that are, you know, we we we have to remember that we all have a life to live and a life that we enjoy that so that when our time comes, that we can look back and say, you know, it was actually really good.
• 26:18
  Jaclyn Strominger: You know, yeah, there was some, there was, there's always gonna be some good, some bad, some ugly, but the majority of it was beautiful.
• 26:25
  Heather McNally: Yeah.
• 26:25
  Heather McNally: And you know, when you go through the bad, I think that just makes you appreciate the good so much more.
• 26:31
  Heather McNally: And so, yeah, we have our moments, but you just like I said, you don't plant your feet there, you don't put roots there, you don't build your house there, you feel it, and then you move through it.
• 26:41
  Heather McNally: And you know, a feeling can take 90 seconds to go all the way through, but we tend to react on our feeling when we start feeling it, and it gives us these actions that we do.
• 26:53
  Heather McNally: And sometimes those actions lead to, you know, results that we're not happy with because we didn't allow ourselves to feel it and go move through it and get to the other side and then be informed by it.
• 27:05
  Heather McNally: And I think that's really important.
• 27:08
  Jaclyn Strominger: Yeah, no, that's that's really true.
• 27:09
  Jaclyn Strominger: It is, it's really true for us to we need to go through the whole process.
• 27:14
  Jaclyn Strominger: Now, I have a little bit of insight, but and I know Heather's gonna share this, but you've got a couple of things that are coming up.
• 27:19
  Jaclyn Strominger: So I want you to share because you've got some great things coming up.
• 27:24
  Heather McNally: Yeah, yeah.
• 27:24
  Heather McNally: So what is beautiful is as you become more confident in what you're doing in life, and for me right now, that's it's in my life too, my personal life, but also my business, especially.
• 27:36
  Heather McNally: I have really been allowing myself to integrate what I've been feeling and who I have become and allow myself to work with that.
• 27:44
  Heather McNally: And so that has led me to, all right, I need to work on my branding because it doesn't really reflect me right now.
• 27:51
  Heather McNally: And so I've been working with somebody who's working on my branding and rebuilding my website to really reflect who I am and what I'm doing.
• 27:59
  Heather McNally: And the beginning of my new launching as, you know, Heather with Fire is a new workshop that I've got coming up.
• 28:10
  Heather McNally: And it's called A Return to You.
• 28:12
  Heather McNally: Because here's the thing: I believe that we have those values deep inside of us.
• 28:17
  Heather McNally: I believe that we have who we are at our core deep inside of us.
• 28:21
  Heather McNally: And, you know, a lot of people say, Oh, I did a 360.
• 28:24
  Heather McNally: And it's interesting when people say that because that means you've gone full circle and come right back around to where you are.
• 28:30
  Heather McNally: And I got thinking about it and I said, you know what?
• 28:32
  Heather McNally: Yeah, I've done a 180 where I've changed.
• 28:35
  Heather McNally: I'm not the same person in terms of how I interact with the world and the and my confidence and all of that.
• 28:41
  Heather McNally: But I have done that 360 because I've come back to that childlike curiosity that I had, that I've always had, and I allow myself to feel now.
• 28:50
  Heather McNally: And so I'm integrating that into my business.
• 28:52
  Heather McNally: So the return to you is come back to who you really are at your heart and soul level, where you belong, where you should live from, so that you are living in alignment.
• 29:02
  Heather McNally: And that doesn't mean you have to become a whole different person.
• 29:04
  Heather McNally: I'm still me.
• 29:06
  Heather McNally: But what I've done is I've allowed myself to understand that, yeah, I've got intuition and it's there for a reason.
• 29:11
  Heather McNally: Yes, I'm an empath and it's there for a reason.
• 29:14
  Heather McNally: Yes, I work with people and I've gone through the experience and they've given me insight into the world.
• 29:21
  Heather McNally: And yes, I've gotten education with coaching and with psychology and brain science and all these things.
• 29:26
  Heather McNally: And I'm letting it all integrate into who I am.
• 29:29
  Heather McNally: And that's where I'm starting from with this new workshop and all the things that I'm planning on doing that I've got a huge list from.
• 29:38
  Heather McNally: And working with Jacqueline has really helped me like, all right, yeah, I'm gonna do that.
• 29:43
  Heather McNally: Yeah, I'm gonna do that.
• 29:44
  Heather McNally: Like, I can do that.
• 29:45
  Heather McNally: Where I used to be like, oh my God, maybe I could become a coach.
• 29:49
  Heather McNally: And I literally would go inside myself.
• 29:51
  Heather McNally: Now I'm like, all these things that I get to do.
• 29:54
  Heather McNally: Right.
• 29:55
  Heather McNally: That's awesome.
• 29:56
  Jaclyn Strominger: Okay, so let's just share with everybody when is the you have a workshop coming up, and we'll put a link to that in the show notes, and that's coming up in September, right?
• 30:07
  Heather McNally: It's Wednesday, September 9th, and it's being held at 7 p.m.
• 30:11
  Heather McNally: Eastern time because I'm in Massachusetts on the East Coast.
• 30:15
  Heather McNally: So that's 7 p.m.
• 30:16
  Heather McNally: to 8:30 p.m.
• 30:17
  Heather McNally: So it's gonna be a 90-minute workshop, very interactive.
• 30:20
  Heather McNally: I don't want to sit and teach, I don't want to sit and talk at.
• 30:24
  Heather McNally: I want to tell you some information and see how it integrates into you and how you can feel through that.
• 30:32
  Heather McNally: And it's a free workshop, so you get to come and do this and start seeing what could be possible for you.
• 30:40
  Jaclyn Strominger: Yeah, it's which is awesome.
• 30:41
  Jaclyn Strominger: And we'll put that in the show notes.
• 30:42
  Jaclyn Strominger: And listeners, Heather is truly amazing and remarkable in what she does, and she has so much to give, and there's so much that you can glean from what she what she has to offer.
• 30:53
  Jaclyn Strominger: So please make sure that you connect with her, take advantage of the free of the free workshop.
• 30:57
  Jaclyn Strominger: And and I'm sharing, like, so you know, if if you could describe to our listeners, you know, what is the one thing that you feel if somebody could choose something right now to do that would help them have unstoppable success, what would it be?
• 31:12
  Heather McNally: Do something that you're afraid of, truly, because fear is just our mind.
• 31:18
  Heather McNally: Our brain doesn't care to make us successful or live the happiest life.
• 31:23
  Heather McNally: Our brain is literally here to keep us safe.
• 31:26
  Heather McNally: So it's gonna try to stop you because oh my god, that's unfamiliar and I don't know.
• 31:30
  Heather McNally: And like I said, I was like, you know, going inside myself, do something that scares you, even just a little bit.
• 31:36
  Heather McNally: It doesn't have to be your biggest fear.
• 31:37
  Heather McNally: I'm terrified of heights.
• 31:38
  Heather McNally: I have not gotten that under my belt yet.
• 31:41
  Heather McNally: But little, you know, little fears, just little things that you can do it and then prove to yourself, like, oh my God, I did it and it wasn't that bad.
• 31:51
  Heather McNally: Actually, I really loved it.
• 31:52
  Heather McNally: Right.
• 31:53
  Jaclyn Strominger: It was fun, it was cool, right?
• 31:54
  Jaclyn Strominger: Right.
• 31:55
  Jaclyn Strominger: Yes, I love that.
• 31:56
  Jaclyn Strominger: Do something that is getting out of your comfort zone.
• 32:01
  Jaclyn Strominger: Right.
• 32:02
  Jaclyn Strominger: And that could be reaching out to somebody, like who's that person that you would love to have as a client and you just have never reached out to them?
• 32:09
  Jaclyn Strominger: Reach out to them today.
• 32:10
  Jaclyn Strominger: Like my friend calls that your chicken list, right?
• 32:13
  Jaclyn Strominger: Oh, yeah, your chicken list.
• 32:14
  Jaclyn Strominger: I call it your chicken list too.
• 32:16
  Jaclyn Strominger: Who make the chicken list?
• 32:18
  Jaclyn Strominger: Like right, right?
• 32:20
  Jaclyn Strominger: You know, we're too we're afraid to, we're afraid, we're we're chicken to call them.
• 32:23
  Jaclyn Strominger: But yeah, make that the chicken list and reach out and you know, however you want to phrase it, but reach out to that list of people.
• 32:31
  Heather McNally: You never know what it can bring you.
• 32:33
  Jaclyn Strominger: Yeah.
• 32:33
  Jaclyn Strominger: And I always say with that chicken list, it's the people that you least expect to respond will respond, and the ones you think will respond won't.
• 32:41
  Jaclyn Strominger: So you just don't know, but just reach out to the chicken list.
• 32:44
  Jaclyn Strominger: So, Heather, thank you so much for being an amazing guest on the Unstoppable Success Podcast.
• 32:50
  Jaclyn Strominger: And we will put all of your links in the show notes.
• 32:52
  Jaclyn Strominger: And listeners, I am sure that you have gleaned some great information from this.
• 32:57
  Jaclyn Strominger: So if you can please do me the favor of sharing this episode with a friend or a colleague who needs to hear this message.
• 33:06
  Jaclyn Strominger: And then we have a little extra something that we will share with our subscribers.
• 33:11
  Jaclyn Strominger: Heather hasn't yet told me what it is, but trust me, our subscribers will get extra something special just for being a subscriber.
• 33:18
  Jaclyn Strominger: And if you're not yet a subscriber to the show, hit subscribe.
• 33:22
  Jaclyn Strominger: And if you pay for the monthly subscription at $3 a month, you get a lot of information, special, special information.
• 33:29
  Jaclyn Strominger: You get a badge, you get extra show notes, uh extra information.
• 33:36
  Jaclyn Strominger: Again, that so you want to definitely be a subscriber, and that also helps us keep the show uh going and having the great guests that we have on the show.
• 33:45
  Jaclyn Strominger: So we appreciate it.
• 33:47
  Heather McNally: And can I shout out to Jaclyn?
• 33:48
  Heather McNally: You are fantastic, you are amazing, not just as a friend, as a business, you know, coach.
• 33:54
  Heather McNally: You really contributed to my life and to my confidence in what I'm doing.
• 34:01
  Heather McNally: It's been fantastic.
• 34:03
  Jaclyn Strominger: Thank you so much.
• 34:04
  Jaclyn Strominger: And I just love working with Heather.
• 34:05
  Jaclyn Strominger: I love working with you.
• 34:06
  Jaclyn Strominger: So, listeners, again, reach out to Heather, subscribe to the show, share the show.
• 34:10
  Jaclyn Strominger: And then if you're not, again, we've got a school community.
• 34:12
  Jaclyn Strominger: We'll put all of those links in the show notes.
• 34:15
  Jaclyn Strominger: Again, Heather, thank you so much for being a great guest.
• 34:17
  Jaclyn Strominger: And listeners, thank you so much for listening.
• 34:19
  Jaclyn Strominger: This is the Unstoppable Success podcast.
• 34:21
  Jaclyn Strominger: I'm your host, Jaclyn Strominger, and we want to help you leap to your greatest success.
• 34:26
  Jaclyn Strominger: Here's to your unstoppable success.
• 34:34
  Jaclyn Strominger: You've been listening to the unstoppable success podcast with Jaclyn Strominger.
• 34:39
  Jaclyn Strominger: Subscribe, share, and keep building your unstoppable life.
• 34:44
  Jaclyn Strominger: See you at the top.