Latest / Health Tech & Wellness Podcast / Why Are We So Busy? The Difference Between Busy and Productive
Transcript
- Crystal Nevedale: I'm always planning. I'm always trying to figure out. what else do I have to do to make this happen? But yeah, that's my life. I wanna figure out how to slow down. And you know what? Five years ago I did slow down and I did figure it out. But now it's like I'm I'm at a different place. I think it's because I'm getting older and I'm realizing I have less time. So it's like, my gosh, I got I gotta hurry up, John Adams: tomorrow isn't guaranteed. How much more time do I have to do the these goals that I have? and urgency does get a lot more urgent the older we get, Welcome back to another week of the Health Tech and Wellness Podcast. I'm John Adams. Crystal Nevedale: And I'm Crystal Nevadale. John Adams: And let me just go right off the rip, Crystal. How you been doing? Exactly. So that's what we want to talk about today, right? Because I I kind of swear, like that's become the default answer for me, for you, and for a lot of people that we probably know recently, right? So people ask you, how's work been? it's been busy. How was your weekend? Man, it was busy. We first got onto the call and you said, How you doing? And I said, Well, I I I tried to switch it up and said fantabulous, right? this is before we got it. This is all side talk. But had a water main break. Life got crazy on top of the fact that I've been busy, right? So I guess the question is. Well, we both know it and we were talking about before. We're probably two of the worst to have this conversation with because you're in your busy season. It's summer. actually you've got Wooly Bear coming up this weekend, right? that's another really busy weekend for you. you know, summer's kind of coming to an end, but that'll be like your last hurrah, kind of, right? And Crystal Nevedale: Right. John Adams: so you're preparing for that, and you know, everybody knows what my life's been recently, and everything's just been busy, right? So I've kind of just been thinking about this, right? So when did Being busy becomes something that we, and I hate to say that I am because I'm not, but that we're kind of proud of, right? We're afraid to say, I didn't do anything, right? So somewhere along the way, being busy started to sound like proof that we're doing something or that we're working hard or that we're accomplishing things, right? That we're important. But Are we actually getting more done? Or are we just busy? Right? So not everybody needs to slow down. I'm not saying this is not one of those episodes. This is not one of those slowdown pump the break episodes. This is not a quit your job and meditate episode. This is a are we truly as busy as we feel that we are? Because life can feel extremely. Extremely busy sometimes. You know, I had a a waterline break coming from my utility room to my bathroom. I've got a backlog of episodes that I have to produce for one of my clients. I'm like, my God, I'm busy. But I still found myself sitting on the front porch with Danny, drinking a couple beers at the end. Like, was we're how busy truly was it, right? So, Crystal, do you think? And and again, we're talking to the general you in the world, you know, not not just us, even though we admit we're two of the busiest people we know. But do you think that we carry being busy as a badge of honor sometimes? Crystal Nevedale: Unfortunately, yes. I mean, it's the truth. It's like that's how we, you know, evaluate how we did for the week. How many things did we get done? How many things did we check off our list? how successful was our financial week? You know, all there yeah. I definitely agree that that we do that. I do that. I don't know about the rest of the world, but I definitely don't feel if I don't feel like I got certain things done, I don't feel productive. Fulfilled, you know. And that's sad because John Adams: Yeah. a hundred percent. Crystal Nevedale: I need more time. I need to start taking more time and now it's gonna become the time where I get a little bit more time for myself. But my life is just it's like a roller coaster, you know? Some days are crazy busy and then some days are nil. And I look forward to the nil days. I haven't had I haven't had one lately, but I'm definitely looking forward to it. John Adams: my goodness. I would say 100% that I'm looking forward to the nil days myself. but I am enjoying the ride while it's here. but you know, I don't think consciously that people sit and go, man, I want my life to be packed, right? It just kind of happens. We've got work, you got your family. You've got doctor's appointments or appointments with your kids or whatever. Then you've got the side projects. Then you've got friends. That busy day turned into a busy evening of sitting on the porch drinking beer with Danny. So you got your friends, you know, whatever else you've got going on in your life. And then somebody says. What were you up to this weekend? And you say nothing. Why does that almost sound embarrassing if you do, right? Nobody does, right? Nobody wants to say, I didn't do anything. But it let's say you did. Let's say you had one of those just great weekends where you sat and you watched movies all weekend with Emily, right? It wasn't nothing. You enjoyed time together. But sometimes we're embarrassed to even say, yeah, we just lounged around. We didn't even get dressed. We got up, took a shower, put on our PJs, you know, new clean PJs, and vegged out and watched movies. You didn't do anything, but you did. You enjoyed time with the person that you want to be with. But why sometimes are we embarrassed to say that? You could have been busy 364. Out of 365 days of the year, and the 365th day, you got that veg day to stop, put on Netflix and chill, and be with the person you love. And we're still embarrassed as a people to say, yeah, I did nothing. Why? Why are we like that? Crystal Nevedale: But I've been reevaluating like my busy lately. Like I'll give you example. This weekend was the b a very busy weekend for the shop. However, I also had a a wedding that lasted the weekend. So they all had cabins and things like that. And I was just kind of looking around at everybody and people that like got to take the entire weekend off and stay in a cabin. And and I was like a little bit like jealous, like, man, like I can't wait till I can have some time where Like in the back of my mind, I'm sitting there at this wedding having a wonderful time, but I'm thinking, my gosh, I gotta get home. I gotta work in the morning You know, and I I I n I'm waiting for that time where I'm actually enjoying the moment fully. But right now John Adams: Yeah. Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: it's just not that for me. I mean, I'm in a week I'll be on vacation and I won't have a choice. You know, I won't have a choice so John Adams: Yeah. Yeah. But you're still gonna be you're still gonna ti kind of be working on that vacation. The first week, I guess, is vacation, right? Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: First four days. First four days is vacation and then I'll go into work for a week there. But yeah, I'm still looking forward to like those four days where like I don't have you know, when you're away from home, you don't have all those things that you'll like, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. I should you you don't have a choice. You got to unplug, John Adams: Right. Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: you know. John Adams: Yeah. Well, I'm gonna challenge you, and this is a little off topic, but not really. I'm gonna challenge you to spend no more than an hour a day of those four days looking for stones or glass or Crystal Nevedale: So the thing there is it's extremely hot. So you can John Adams: Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: only pick glass from daylight until like ten AM and you have to stop. Because it's I mean, it'll it'll knock you out, you know. And then we h John Adams: Uh-huh. Good. Great. Well that's I'm glad to hear that because it'll it'll limit your amount of time to do Crystal Nevedale: And I'm excited for that too. Like I'm excited for that downtime of not being able to do it, you know? John Adams: Yes. Yeah, because y y you're like me. We we turn our fun time into work time. Like here, I'll give you an example. So we're we're going tonight, we we've got a new invite to a new house to play poker. I'm gonna take my laptop. I I I I shouldn't, but I'm not gonna touch it. It's gonna sit in my book bag unless I get knocked out. If I get knocked out of the tournament early, Cindy's still playing. Instead of sitting there doing Magic word, nothing. I'm gonna open up my laptop and do some work. Which I should be Crystal Nevedale: Which you should be doing. John Adams: doing. You're right. You're right. But so I'm just as bad. Listen, I'm not, Crystal Nevedale: I understand. John Adams: I'm not saying I've got it figured out. We're trying to figure it out right now, right? For everybody. But it's the truth. You know, last week it was our second week where we could go. And I got behind on a bunch of things. And I said, Cindy, I said, go, have fun. I'll see you later. I'm gonna finish this up. But here's what I did. Why am I doing what I'm doing? Why are you doing what you're doing? We're doing this to make life better for us and our families, right? But then we'd miss that time with our families. Crystal Nevedale: It's extremely hard to juggle it and balance it. John Adams: Yeah. So I guess that's the the the biggest thing that I want us to kind of get out of this whole conversation we're about to have today on this episode is where is that right? Where is that line between I'm extremely busy? To what are you busy with? Are you busy with your family and things that matter? Or are you busy doing the things that you think are supposed to be helping your family, but it's pulling you further and further and further away, right? It's adding that separation. So when did having empty space? Let's just let's peel the onion here. When did having busy space start feeling like we're wasting time? Right. Because busy doesn't have to necessarily mean productive, right? And here's the distinction that I think we kind of need to make, right? Busy and productivity are not the same thing. I can be busy for hours scrolling through Facebook. I can be busy for hours looking through emails or replying to messages or switching between five because my ADHD, switching between five different things and getting nothing done, right? Starting something and getting distracted and then going back to the next thing. At the end of the day, you might have. Felt extremely busy. You got nothing done. You lost the time with the family or whatever it was. So, Crystal, have you ever had one of those days where you just you're going nonstop all day? And then suddenly you stop and go, What the hell did I actually get done today? I've had a lot of Crystal Nevedale: Many times. John Adams: those. Crystal Nevedale: Many times, yeah. I really try to focus now. Like I literally will say that outside out out of my mouth. Like once I I'll start something, I'll give you a prime example. Yesterday we're the shop and Emily was drilling and I was doing something else and she says, Well, do you want to do can you pick me out some more glass? I go, No. I've been trying to do this tier task for the last forty five minutes. It's only two little bitty things. So no, I need to finish these. John Adams: Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: So I feel like I got something done today. So I mean yeah, it happens to me every single day, forty times John Adams: Yeah. Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: a day. But just trying to stay focused is like the hard part. Like when you feel like you have so much it's overwhelming. So instead of just focusing John Adams: A hundred percent. Crystal Nevedale: on one, you're doing nine different things and nothing gets done. Yes, that happens to me on a regular regular. John Adams: Yeah. 100%. And and so so I kind of fell into a little trap this week on top of the water line break and all of that other stuff. my client knocked out three interviews back to back, had no B-roll for them. So I couldn't complete any of them. So I decided with my little crazy brain that okay, I'm gonna start on the first. One and I'm I'm gonna just do the rough edit, then I'll go to the next one, do the rough edit, then I'll go the next one, do the rough edit, then I'll do the thumbnails for all three. Then I'll I ended up making a thumbnail for one that looked amazing, but guess what? Wrong info for the wrong one. And it wasn't just where I could just switch it, it was half of part of one and half a part of the other. Because I decided, well. I got time. I don't have to b-roll for any of these. So I'll just knock them all out in this order. No. This is why organization that works. This is why having a game plan works, because when you screw it up, I wasted. I was busy, but I wasted all that time and had to go back and fix it. Crystal Nevedale: Happens all the time. John Adams: Getting distracted. Yeah. So here's kind of an uncomfortable question. Do we like being busy sometimes? Not necessarily, you know, the stress of it, but do we think that it represents like if somebody needs me, I feel important because I'm busy, right? If my phone never stops, I feel like I'm needed. If my calendar's packed, I feel like I'm successful, right? Do we catch ourselves feeling that way? Crystal Nevedale: romanticizing being busy. That's what it is. John Adams: 100%. 100%. And I think that we we all do that so much. And I'm sure there's people out there that are gonna listen to this episode and go, man, you guys are crazy. I don't trust me. I I if you sit back and think about times when people have asked you how was your weekend or what's going on, how many times did you say I'm busy? And you probably were, because we you just said it, we romanticize being. Busy. We think that if we say we didn't do anything, we're gonna look like failures or whatever. You did something. What did you do? You spent time with your kids. You spent time with your spouse. You spent time with your loved ones. Okay, you played poker. Great. Did were you spending time with the people that matter when you were doing it, right? You know, whatever that is, we don't have to. feel guilty about those times when we're doing what truly matters, in my opinion, the mental health side Crystal Nevedale: Right. Okay. John Adams: of our own lives and our time with our family. Crystal Nevedale: Yeah, for sure. I I struggle with that a lot, you know. I struggle with not being busy. Sometimes when I'm not busy, like if I'm laying around, like you said, watching Netflix or whatever, I'll feel guilty about that. I'm like, man, I could be doing so many other things, but I've got to learn to embrace the fact of not doing anything. Like I need to embrace that fact. You know, but it's hard. It's really hard for me because I have always had a goal-oriented mind. Like what, okay, that you know, first thing in the morning I have a list of ten things that I need to get done right away. Like I've always been that person. You know, even though I've also fly by the seat of my pants, I've noticed over the last couple of years I've wait been way more disciplined to what needs to be done. I was literally just having this conversation. two years ago, I would have took off a Monday and Tuesday and not thought anything about it. I would have said, it's Wednesday, I'm taking the day off. Now it's like, no, I need to work. So I've been very John Adams: Mm-hmm. Crystal Nevedale: disciplined. I think because my goals and the things that I want have changed a bit. Like I really want to travel a lot this year. Like I did last year. I traveled like crazy. I want to do this in the following year. So like in my mind, I feel like I need to get all these things done so that that can happen. But I really still need to have those moments in my regular days. John Adams: Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: Like I can't just be waiting for something or working so hard for something. Like I still need to John Adams: Right. Yeah. Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: enjoy the present moments. So I'm really working John Adams: Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: on being more present. John Adams: You have to give yourself those little moments. We definitely that's that's the biggest thing. And that's living ninety-five in a nutshell. You you've got to have that goal. You've got to see the peak of Mount Everest, right? But you've got to have those little waypoints that you can look forward to along the way. You'll get there so much happier, healthier, and just be glad for the journey. If you enjoy those little waypoints along the way, if you don't, if all you're concentrating is on that, you're gonna miss the rest of it. And Crystal Nevedale: Right. John Adams: me and Cindy were talking about it just yesterday. You know, life isn't guaranteed. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Where do we you know, we have to have that goal, you know, of where we need to be and where we wanna be five years from now, two years from now, six months from now, whatever. But at the end of the day, are we going to lose today in spite of six months from now? Right? I'm not saying don't do anything. We still need to Crystal Nevedale: Right. John Adams: push. We still need to have those goals. We still need to get up every day and do our morning routines and do what we need to do and push ourselves. But Crystal Nevedale: We also need to stop. John Adams: You can you need to stop. You can't. How many times? And I want everybody listening to this episode right now to truly think back to just this last six month. What are we on? We're this is September. We're on the ninth month of the year already. Over the last nine months, how many times have you missed something with the person with somebody that matters to you because you were too busy? Now. If you have nine to five and you have to be at the nine to five and a party's being that's different. I understand that. But how many times did you consciously choose busy over that thing you could have been doing? I I'm gonna say I'm guilty 100%. 100%. I'm talking to myself as I'm talking to the general you out there. There's so many times when. I'm so busy being busy that I gotta get. Do you have to get it right now? Can you could I have instead of being busy, could I have been more productive busy earlier? So I have this time with you now, right? So that's that's kind of another thing that we want people to get out of this episode, truly, is How much of your busy is truly productive busy? And how much of it is just we can't stop, right? We have to find something to do. How many people? I want everybody listening, think about this. How many of us can truly answer a question? And we're gonna touch on this next week in the next episode, but how many people right now? In the world we live in, with all the entertainment we have, with all the things that we do, with how busy we get, have stopped and said, I'm bored. There's so much going on in your lives. You don't allow that. You don't allow for one moment. You you finally get that break and then you fill it with something. Are we filling it with the right things? You know? Are we creating some of our own Crystal Nevedale: Right. John Adams: busy? I guess is what I'm getting. so in your life, Crystal, you're kind of getting towards the end of that busy, then you've been building for your rest coming. how often do you feel in the past that you've noticed during those off seasons that you're still feeling filling a lot of that time with preparation for next year? Crystal Nevedale: Always. Always. I've always John Adams: It's right. Crystal Nevedale: got my mind on the next thing I want to do. Like I love to travel. Like if you knew soiled my list of the things and places I want to go, it's like insane. Like I don't I need 20 more years of just straight travel to get accomplish I have on my heart wanting to do. So John Adams: Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: I'm always planning. I'm always trying to figure out. And I yeah, it's like a puzzle for me. All the time. Like what else do I have to do to make this happen? But yeah, that's my life. I mean, I wanna figure out how to slow down. And you know what? Five years ago I did slow down and I did figure it out. But now it's like I'm I'm at a different place. I think it's because I'm getting older and I'm realizing I have less time. So it's like, my gosh, I got I gotta hurry up, you know? John Adams: Yeah. Yeah. Crystal Nevedale: You know. John Adams: No, I one hundred percent understand that 'cause I I've been in that same boat and I've I'm seeing the same things. You know, the tomorrow isn't guaranteed. How much how many how mu how much more time do I have to do the these goals that I have? And and urgency does get a lot more urgent the older we get, right? The closer we get to l old age. so I understand that one hundred percent. So that's kind of what I want people to think about in this episode, especially and for this week, is just sit and ask yourself, how much of my busy am I creating because of urgency? How much am I busy am I creating just because I romanticized being busy? How much of my busy is truly busy? And how much more can we spend on life with the people we truly care about? I want everybody to think about also what does life feel like when you're busy? Are you stressed? Do you feel like man, I I just can't get anything done? Or do you truly enjoy your busy? Now I pick with you all the time. I'm like, yeah, you know, take it only one hour a day. You but you enjoy that, right? So you're Crystal Nevedale: Right. John Adams: busy sometimes, you're having a blast being busy sometimes, right? And so am I. You're right. Crystal Nevedale: Right. yeah. Every day. Every day. John Adams: But The challenge is don't forego life while we're filling those other voids with busy, if that makes sense. And talking Crystal Nevedale: Absolutely. John Adams: right to myself, you know, like I said before we even got on this, you know, we're probably the two worst people to have this conversation right now because we are so busy, right? But we're enjoying it. Just we gotta make sure in this world that we live in that we don't let busy separate us from the things that truly matter. If we're it truly building our life for our family, for our you know, kids, for our whatever that is, and you're not getting any time with them because of that, where's that balance? Crystal Nevedale: I guess I think too with me, I'm curious on if people have an amount of time every day that they give to the people they love. Like say that you work nine to five. Like do you set aside seven, you know, give yourself some downtime? Do you set a aside seven to nine to be with your family? Or do you or do you give any time? Like little fragments where you every day check in with the people you love, or you know, and that's something that I really do try to stick to. I really do have my day portioned out to where I have time with my grandkids either in the morning or the evening every day, whether it's a phase time, whether it's going to see them. So I really do work that into my schedule. But I'm curious if people that are like me that work like they're in out of their minds, if they really do w you know, block off a window or not. Or do the do weeks just fly by and you've not done anything with your family? I think that's something that people really need to look at too. We get lost. It's it we're all We're all guilty of it, myself included, especially for the last four months for me. I've really had to be on myself of getting those connections in place to make sure that I'm not losing connection with my family. So I think that's something that's really important to visit too. Set aside a certain amount of time every day. Is your commute to work a thirty minute walk drive? Can you put someone in your ear and and have a conversation with your mom on your way to work or your, you know, like just little things like that. That we could instead of listening John Adams: No, that Crystal Nevedale: to the radio, we could be catching up with someone for just a minute, you know. John Adams: That's one hundred percent accurate. And I think that that that kind of wraps it up in a nutshell. How much of our busy time can we still fit the people that we love in that time. And and this is where this episode came from. I'm just gonna tell you. So I'm going through this week and we just recorded a week ago and it felt like it was yesterday. This whole week flew by. And yet there was times when I Cindy went by herself to do things because I was too busy. Could I have made those things happen? That's more important, right? That is more important. Not, yes, this is important. Don't get me wrong. And I know it's a double-edged sword. But that was times where I could have said, you know what? How much time did I waste? You know, I'll give you an example. People don't understand my world, but just to give you an example, there's times when I'm waiting on things to process, right? And instead of what can I do? Here I'm waiting on it to process. Part of that's because I know if I start over here, I'm going to get off on a tangent. Crystal Nevedale: Mix it up. John Adams: But but at the end of the day, can I make can I organize my life a little bit better so I have more time with the people that I truly love? And that's where this kind of came out of, right? When did being busy become something to brag about? That's the whole topic, right? When did being busy become something that takes our life away from the people we love? I don't know if we can answer that today, right? But at the end of the day, I want everybody to stop and think. And what you just asked earlier is a perfect question. Throw it in the comments. Do you have a time, amount of time in your day where you say, I'm going to dedicate to family, to this, to that? If you don't, I challenge everybody to make that time. I challenge everybody to find that time. Throw the comments. Do you are you finding yourself overly busy for the people that you love, or are you finding that you do have that time? Any other