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It's National TELL A JOKE DAY! · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Wake your ass up, fool. John Jay and Rich. What's crackin' like?
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: And this is the big boss dog, Snoopy Deagle Double Jizzle.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Bang, boom. What you gonna do?
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: John Jay and Rich.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: We're not talking about Ren 1010. We're not talking about Lassie.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: It's the one and only dog.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Y'all look classy.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: So ask me, big Snoopy Deagle Double Jizzle. In your
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: face to me and in the place to be.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And you're listening to John Jay and Rich. Wake your
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: ass up, fool. All right, Rich, what do you got
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: with today's national what?
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Well, it is National Bratwurst Day. It is National Rum Day.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: It is National Roller Coaster Day. And it is National
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Tell a Joke Day.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: Here, I'll start.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I'll start.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Why did the scarecrow get a raise? Why did the
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: scarecrow get a raise?
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: Because 687. I'm just kidding.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Because he was outstanding in his field.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: National Tell a Joke Day. National Tell-A-Joke Day. I love it. Hey, TJ,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: you got a joke?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, I do.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: All right, it's National Tell-A-Joke Day, TJ. Let's see what
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: you got.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: So, what do you call a snake that studies past events?
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: What do you call a snake that studies past events?
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Don't know what. A historian.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: A historian.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: That's cute. That's cute, TJ.
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: I got one for you, TJ. When life gives you melons...
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: You might be dyslexic.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: That's a good one. Hold on, TJ. You know, the
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: rotation of the earth.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Melons and lemons are spelt.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: The rotation of the earth really makes my day. I
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: like TJ. TJ's into it.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: Two Wi-Fi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. Oh, man. What did one DNA say
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: to the other DNA? What? Do these genes make me
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: look fat? That's a good science one. That's a good
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: science one. TJ, have a great day. Thanks for listening, man.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: You do the same, guys. Take care. Eric, it's National
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Tell-A-Joke Day. What do you got?
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: What did Mike Tyson tell Chris Hemsworth after their workout?
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: What did he say?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: You're going to be Thor in the morning. He's got
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: a speech impediment. Thor, you're going to be Thor in
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: the morning.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: That's funny on so many levels.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, man.
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm afraid of elevators, so I take steps
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: to avoid them. That's good, Eric. Thanks for calling in, man.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: No problem. Thank you. Nashville, tell a joke. Do you
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: got any, Kyle?
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: You do? Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Because the P is silent. Pterodactyl. Spelling jokes. Spelling jokes.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, man. I actually have a really good joke about
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: time travel, but you didn't like it.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: That's stupid. That's great. That's really good. What do you got, Nick?
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Do you guys know the difference between a hippo and
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: a zippo? No, what?
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: So a hippo, you know, is a big animal, huge tusks,
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: lives in the water just as fast on the land
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: as it is in the sea.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: And a zippo is a little lighter. A little lighter.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: Kyle, do you know the difference between toilet paper and
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: a shower curtain?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: What is it? Do you know the difference? I don't.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know the actual difference. Well, it's a joke,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: so you're supposed to play along.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: You're killing the joke. Yeah, I know I'm not. Yeah,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: you are. I said, what is it? Well, so you're
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: the one.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: What?
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: shower curtain? And you say, no, I don't. So you're
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: the one, meaning you're the one wiping your ass with
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: the shower curtains. But if you say, yes, I know
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: the difference, then it kills the joke. So you've got to,
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: you've got to call it a joke listening check.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I said, what is it? You know, I'm.
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: Skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: That's a bit of a stretch. Peyton, how does a
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: computer get drunk?
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: How? It takes screenshots.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I used to be a people person until people ruined
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: it for me. Anyway.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: There's a little bit of truth to all those jokes.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that one is just a statement I feel like.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: It's National Tell-A-Joke Day, so feel free to call in
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: and jump in and tell us jokes.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: You got any more, Rich?
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I am. Actually, I have a construction joke, but I'm
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: still working on.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: It. 6.30, by the way, is the best time on
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: the clock, hands down. The man who invented Velcro died. Rip.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: What do you call a Gen Z farmer?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: What?
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: A crop top.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I'm reading this book. Thanks, Kyle.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: Thanks. I appreciated that. I'm reading this book. It's about anti-gravity.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: It's impossible to put down.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: That was funny. I was just trying to make you
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: feel how I felt.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a Nobel Prize.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: A Nobel.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Nobel. Yes, yes, yes.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: All I did was take a day off.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, man.
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: Anyway, National Tell-A-Joke Day. We'll sprinkle them in throughout the show.
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: It's John Jay and Rich.