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What If You Stopped Asking How? · Reading Your Own Life with Swami Larry

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Reading Your Own Life with Swami Larry.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is season one: Money Can Buy Happiness, and we are now in episode 10.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the topic is what if you stopped asking how?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: By this point in the season, you're likely clear on why you want to improve your relationship with money.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're also ready to experience more abundance and actually enjoy money.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: But now we come to the sticking point that threatens to derail our improved relationship with money.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's what I like to call the how.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: You want to make more money and see more of it in your life, but how can you make this happen?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: How do you make more money?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: How do you get more money?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: How, how, how?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: That is the eternal question.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever asked yourself this question, and I'm pretty sure everyone has at some point, you will probably be triggered by it.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is that we all get so caught up in the how that it becomes one of the most persistent blocks we face.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us believe making money is about working harder, knowing all the proper steps to take, or even having a perfect plan.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Five-year plan, anyone?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you've heard that one.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: The common denominator in all this is our obsession with the how.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: This obsession stops us in our tracks and keeps money from flowing.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: The reality is that money often comes not when we try to force it, but when we allow it.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is the paradox we get stuck in.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: We want to make more money, but we don't know how.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: The how becomes our primary focus rather than the money, and therefore we find ourselves caught in the seemingly never-ending cycle.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I had a job that offered no opportunities for me to expand or grow.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted more, but I was convinced I couldn't have it for some reason, given the situation I was in.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: It took me a long time to realize I was focusing on the wrong thing.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: When I focused on the right thing, other opportunities began to show up in my life, many of which I hadn't even imagined.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't easy, but it led me here.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately to the work behind this season.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like me, you might believe your current job offers no room for a raise, that changing jobs isn't possible, or you lack the skills to move forward.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see how the search for the perfect how is keeping you exactly where you are when you think of it that way?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: The how becomes like a bungee cord attached to your waist.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: The harder you pull forward, the more it snaps you back.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: But here is the truth.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to know how.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: You need to know what.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Our obsession with the how often stems from fear.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Fear of the unknown, fear of not being in control, even fear of money.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: The question of how feeds fear, and fear feeds the how.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Look at what energy this dependence on the how is sending out.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: It sends out the idea that you can't do it, that you don't trust yourself, that this energy will repel money.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: The energy of trust, on the other hand, attracts money, which is what we're here to strengthen.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not speaking of woo-woo manifestation techniques here.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: We struggle to let go of the how.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because we've been taught this success requires control.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're taught to rely on business plans, spreadsheets, goals, and the five-year plan.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: But clinging to control is fear in disguise.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's the voice that says, if I don't figure it out, it won't happen.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, it's important to distinguish between wanting total control and taking responsibility for your life.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Control asks us to manage outcomes.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility asks us to own our choices.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: We can let go of control while still taking responsibility for how we live.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Think about driving down a dark road with only your headlights on.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot see the whole route, just as far as the headlights will go.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know if there are sharp turns ahead or even if traffic is over the hill.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: But you trust the road is there and will lead you to your destination.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't panic, generally, I hope not, when something unexpected appears.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: You keep your hands on the wheel and keep moving forward.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: That is what trusting your life, your inner guidance, and the unfolding path feels like.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So what do you want?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest, be bold.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Don't water it down to be realistic.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask yourself, why do I want this?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to feel secure, free, proud of yourself?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to support your family, travel, or invest in something meaningful?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter what your why is, as long as you know what it is.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: The more you can surrender control, the more abundance shows up.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And this is called active detachment.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean doing nothing or lying in bed waiting for money to show up.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: It means staying active while letting go of control over the outcome, aligning with your desires, and remaining open to what's possible.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: In yogic philosophy, this would be the discipline of non-attachment.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's not indifference, but mastery.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: It allows us to stay engaged in the world without being enslaved by it.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Active detachment holds a paradox as well, in that you act with devotion while releasing demand.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: You move forward with purpose, but you stop measuring your worth by results.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Think of when you throw a ball.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Once you throw the ball, you can no longer control where it goes.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And in much the same way, you're allowing life to co-create with you rather than bending it to your will.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Think of your goals, dreams, or desires as sand in your hands.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: If you hold sand too loosely, it will spill between your fingers.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: But conversely, if you hold it really hard in the palm, the wind will tend to blow it away.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: But if you hold something like that gently, attentively, and you can carry them without losing them at all.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: They will neither blow or spill over the side of your palms, nor slip through your fingers.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's really what active detachment is.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a continual practice of meeting effort and ease.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: The Bhagavad Gita describes this state beautifully.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: You have the right to work, but not to the fruits of your work.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: That is not fatalism, it's liberation.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: It actually frees you to act from love rather than fear, from purpose rather than pressure.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this was one of the many practices in my seminary training that helped me actively begin to detach from the fruits of my own labor.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: It made a profound difference in my life and eased the pressure I, and so many of us, place on ourselves around our work.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what this looks like in everyday life.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine you're applying for a new job, or waiting on a promotion, or launching a project.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Passive trust will say, if it's meant to be, it will happen.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Attachment says, I'll never be happy until it happens.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Active detachment says, I'll prepare, show up, and do my best.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then let the outcome unfold.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm safe either way.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: That energy attracts success, not from desperation, but from calm confidence.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that is one of the truest examples of letting go of the how.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: I want to tell you about Alex.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Alex sent a dream application and he refreshed his inbox like a slot machine.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Dopamine, crash, repeat.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: I introduced to him active detachment.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: One hour of high quality work daily on portfolio and skills.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's the effort.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: A 24-hour no refresh rule after submissions.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's the ease.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then a simple evening release.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: What's mine will meet me.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Two weeks later, he didn't just get an interview.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: He brought a calmer presence into the room itself.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: It was the coherence that was the yes.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Detachment is not indifference, like many people think.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is really being intimate without fear.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's love without ownership, giving without demand, and movement without expectation.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: So here's something I'd like you to try this week.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I call it the dual column method.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just draw a simple line down the middle of a page.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: On one side, right, what I can control.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: On the other, write, what I can't control.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest and specific.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Populate each with money items you're currently thinking about.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Separating the two helps your brain categorize responsibility and release the false pressure.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the week, circle one item you influenced well, and star one that you're still gripping on.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then write, I release the timeline, I keep the intention.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Letting go doesn't mean giving up.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: It means loosening your grip so that life can move forward.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: When you release the pressure of the how to make it happen, you become available to receive.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: You've heard it before.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Trust the process.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Stay open.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let the how take care of itself.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Join me next time for episode eleven.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is how we change the story.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Until then, I'm Swami Larry.