Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #67_HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND_(SHOW #10)

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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #67_HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND_(SHOW #10) · DA CREW Podcast

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Oh oh, oh oh, God will make a whare this seems to be
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no way. He works in ways we cannot seem. He will make a
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way. Basic Black After Dark, our new podcast show with your host,
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Black Diamond, the one left running away from the one thing from which again
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ashamed. I'm uncome. Everyone, Welcome to the podcast Network for episode number
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sixty seven of our very first season. I am Black Diamond, the host
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of Basic Black after Do. Before we get started tonight, I would like
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to send our condone this out to Tavita Harris and this ericas More. We
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want to let you know that we love me and that we are praying for
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you and we're gonna stand biden a man of war. Rita and Erica are
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a part of the Crew podcast Network. There our family, and we're asking
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everyone to send them their prayers. Just to take a moment of silence,
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because this is just pretty hard. I know it's hard for them, but
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it's hard for us as well, So everybody can just take a moment of
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silence. Thank you, everybody, Thank you so much for participating, in
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coming and being a part of the Cruel podcast Network. Here we have relaxed
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conversations about and the changes, cultural customs and parenting. Now there are times
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when I'll discuss senter talking, and occasionally guests and friends will drop by.
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Let me ask you how many of you that's listening are married? For thinking
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about marriage? Marriage is discussed a lot during the month of June as people
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change their vows with challenge the traditional ways and the definition of marriage. So
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many may wonder what does the Bible say about what marriage really is? There
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are many references to marriage, husbands, minds, and the like in the
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Bible, but it's hardly a dictionary or handbook with all the answers step by
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step, so it's no wonder many are hazy about what God intends for us
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to know about what marriage really is. Instead, the Bible has hints here
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and there, which means we must study and pray about what we read to
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truly gain knowledge of what it all means. But there are some moments of
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clarity about what marriage is in the Bible. Tonight, my guests will share
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their view on marriage and how they achieve a better balance in marriage. Please
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welcome my guests Rico, LaToya and Latania, Little John, and we're going
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to also be joined by Joshua and tier Power. Hi, Hi, Hi
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Joshua, you're you're multe Hello, Hello, how are you doing? How
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it's how are you? And Latania and Enrico? How are you? How
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are you? I'm great? Thank you so much for joining us. I
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truly appreciate it. Um And for you guys, I'm willing to be able
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to talk a little bit about marriage. We know that this is the month
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of June and most people are getting married this month. A lot going on
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this month for those happy new relays. Marriage is not just about the two
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people standing in front of the altar or the justice of the peace, and
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marriage was just about the two people who have committed their lives to one another.
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There would be no need for a public ceremony, no need for friends
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or priest or sacrament. The very way we treat the wedding ceremony tells us
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that something far great is happening, something that requires the participation of a community
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and encourages the couple to give to themselves in return. Let me ask you,
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is marriage just a piece of paper or is it something else? You
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tell me what do you think it is marriage just a piece of paper or
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is it something else? I'll ask the powers first, Um, not at
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all. Marriage is definitely much more than a piece of paper. You know,
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it's it's a decision. You know, it's a commitment. It's about
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being devoted, you know what I'm saying. That's why everybody that's even thinking
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about it, you really got to be intentional and really be sincere and serious
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about your marriage and about your partner. I love that you mentioned intentionally when
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you said marriage and in that same sentence, because a lot of people don't
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think of it as being intentional, they just go ahead and do it.
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What about you, the little Jones? How do you feel about marriage?
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Is it just a piece of paper or is it something else? Definitely intentional.
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Um, it goes deeper than a piece of paper. It goes deeper
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than property and you know, things of that nature. Um, it's much
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deeper than just you know, to be with the visual because after the wedding
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is over, you know you still have each other and you know the fairy
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tale of the wedding is over, So what are you doing next? Yeah,
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that's true. How do you balance marriage? Working family? Who do
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you want to let's hear from you, missus Powell. How do you balance?
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How do you balance you said, Um, marriage, working, family,
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family, It's definitely important to step away from listen, you know the
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children, you know, minut school and just you know, uh with each
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other, just away from again, away from the crowd. And that's just
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making sure we're intentional with getting away you know. Rather that's just happened a
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short little they are you know, staying home and just you know, being
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away from our phones and things like that. Um, just bringing balance that
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way by just making sure that we're intentional with how we're spending our time together.
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Wow, what about you, mister little John? How do you balance
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that? It's definitely, uh, you have to basically put one before the
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other. But I think is like, you know, families first because you
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know, Burt, you know, if something happens, you are you are
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if you find another job, A family is more important and we have to
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basically u take time to basically basically what comes first work, family, family,
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work than other things. Right, right, it's not so many people
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we've been consider it that way, you know, turn it around and saying
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that family comes first. They figured that you know, this is my marriage,
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that's number one and two different things, these different things, many factors
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conficued to the longest of a romantic relationship, and having a successful relationship requires
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dedication and effort. Would you say relation with success is more likely when people
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have similar relationship values? Little John's Would you say relation with success is more
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likely when people have similar relational values? Um? I think it depends on
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the people. Um, of course we share the same values. Um I
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can't you know, speak for other people. But um, it is important
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that first and foremost God is ahead of our life and so you know them
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at at the forefront of everything. So, UM, I don't know,
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it's and that's one of those to each its own, right? Is it
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one of those to each its own? Yes, yes, definitely, all
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right, Powells, how do you feel about that question? Would you say
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relational success is more likely when people have similar relationship value? In my opinion,
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it definitely helps, you know, it definitely helps and contributes because they
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are you able to work together and kind of be on one of chord because
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you know where each other staying on different issues and things like that, and
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you know, you know, just being on you know, the Bible says,
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how can't two walk together except they agree? So being on a similar
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page and a similar pace does help them work a less smoother you know what
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I'm saying. It causes conversation and communication to go a little smoother because we
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know each other hearts and we own the same page with one another. It
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definitely, it definitely contributes to a successful relationship. Yeah, I'm just about
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to actually about communication, like how would a couple communicate their values before they
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get married if they had different values or should they get married if they had
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different values something like raising children if their values on reason their children were different.
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Do you think that a couple it would be easier for them to communicate
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before they get married or do you think that that's something that should be done
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after mattage before? Definitely before, because when you don't have those conversations before
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marriage, and then you get into a marriage or a committed relationship and then
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kids begin to come, it could definitely cause a class, uh in the
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relationship between you know, your coupley, it could call the class and how
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you're raising your children and you don't you don't want to divide a house.
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You know what I'm saying. You're not gonna agree on everything, and that's
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just why the way it is, You're not going to agree on everything,
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but you definitely want to make sure you have that conversation and that you had
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a clear understanding and on a similar pace about that, because that's that's really
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big. That's big. We were already we was all. We were all
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raised different. You know what I'm saying. My parents raised me a certain
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way, her parents raised her a certain way. And you'll want to come
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together how to raise it your own children? Yeah, you don't want right,
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you don't a divide when it happened, So I totally agree. Thank
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you so much. Being dedicated to each other and putting effort into the relationship
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or one of the building blocks of a good marital life. What would you
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say or something good building blocks of a good marriage for us? Um,
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it's basically, UM, I live by keep family, friends, and folk
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out your business. Um. They are not sing everybody rooting for your marriage
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to work. UM. So, no matter what the situation is, good,
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bad, ugly in between, UM, you have to resort back to
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why you got married in the first place. UM. And again, keep
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people out your business because once you get past whatever it is, they're still
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going to have their feelings and you know you no longer care about the situation
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or whatever happened, and they still will. So it's best to leave outside
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people out of your marriage. I mean, when you got married, it
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was just you, your spouse and God, so it should remain that way.
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That means mom and dad too, So don't go back to telling Mama,
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you know so, so we got upset because of something, and you
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know, y'all got you know, everything got the way. Then mom and
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dad bring it back up, and I see that the powers are shaking their
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head. So I take it that you agreed. Yes, so we all
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always talked about that, and that's bidding people out of your ears. So
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many people have these comments and opinions, and a lot of time people that
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haven't even been through nothing, haven't even been through a relationship. They beat
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the loudest. How are we how your opinion? We should be speaking one
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voice, and that's Holy Spirit, and that's how we getting. Yes,
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as those viewers and those who are getting ready to get married, that they're
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listening to you, because this is sound advice you do. You should keep
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people out of your business, but they try to squirm it in some way
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to get all up into your business because they have nothing else. They're doing
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those are probably those single people. Whither those divorced people or separated people business,
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they hate that too. If you're in your marriage, it's the same
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thing. And we even we even did that during dating. We dated in
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silence for a while before we even let anybody know that we were really seeing
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each other over serious, because it's so important to get to know one another
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for yourself and establish your relationship and the foundation of your relationship, especially if
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you're really serious and genuine about you know, being married and having a spouse.
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You're trying to you gotta be intentional. You cannot put everybody in your
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business, you know, work it out, work it out, and establish
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something between y'all that can't nobody just come in between you and break you up.
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I'm saying that's what we did. By the time people find out that
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me and her were like seriously together, we had gotten so close it didn't
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even matter we were. We weren't worried about anything, because you know we
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we we first off, we established it only God, and then we established
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it with each other. Right, you have somebody here's saying, um saying
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a little louder for the people in the back that part. Yeah, so
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I guess that they agreed, and we got some listeners that agree that totally
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agree with both parts. There's another thing for you, how much should a
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couple value time together versus time apart. For me, I'm I'm clingy,
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so I'm I'm always in his space. Um. People think something's wrong if
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they see one of us without the other. We're that together, you know,
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I mean, you know you do need your a long time, um
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to regroup and come back and and be a force. But nine to nine
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point nine percent of the time a little John's are together, and there's nothing
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wrong with you. Guys established that wholeness, you know, from the probably
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from the very beginning. And if that's what makes your marriage works, that's
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what make your marriage well. You can't have somebody coming to you and say,
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damn, y'all always together, don't cheat, or he give you some
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breathing room. It's not about that marriage right in those cases, and people
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look at it in a different type of way. And I'm going to use
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the term that I guess my kids will use. Some people are just hated,
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really are, and they continue to hate on but they can hate,
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but you're going to continue to love and loud. I'm sorry, Powells,
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What do you have to say about that? Yeah, haters, I mean
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haters, you know, we really don't hate them, no attention, you
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know what I'm saying. We feel like the voices that are outside of our
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home don't matter as much as the voices inside of our home. And so
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that's what we that's what we value, you know, we we don't you
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know, we don't get mad at people if they feel some tip. You
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know, we don't take a fense because we know they don't understand. And
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that's okay. And you know what I'm saying. And the one thing we
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have learned is don't let nobody steal your peace, you know, don't let
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anybody steal your joy, because only you and your spouse know what you've been
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through, the big way you are and that's what map. That's the testimony
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that matters. It's the people who bear with you every day, you know
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what I'm saying. The people who just see you every once in a while,
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The people who see you on the internet every once in a while,
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they don't know your story for real, you know what I'm saying. They
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don't know where you came from and how you got to where you are,
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and so all with all due respect, I don't give that stuff a whole
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lot of my ear or influence on my energy. You know what I'm saying,
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I'll stay I stay focused on the positive things, and I stay focused
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on you know, loving my wife, you know, and our daughter and
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you know, and loving God and keeping our relationship strong. Because listen,
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this is who holding me down right here. Business is always every man.
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You know, some people, um, they just don't get it. They
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do this. Lucas is saying, value each other, continue to value each
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other. And that's what hoos a lot of marriages together, all marriages together,
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is the value that you have within your marriage. What we're gonna do
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right now, we're going to take a little commercial break, but I want
19:40
you guys to stay there because I have something special going on. For those
19:44
who was following, liking and sharing the cue podcast and basically Black un After
19:48
Dog, they had into into a raffle just for doing that. And we're
19:52
going to do that raffle drawing right now. M M yeah, Okay,
20:22
We're gonna spend this around and where at lands that's gonna be our winner,
20:37
all right? Then we go doctor Lisa Williams, you are our winner.
20:41
Thank you so much for following, liking, and sharing our podcast. I
20:48
totally thank you all for being a part of this. And what I'm gonna
20:52
do is I'm gonna have somebody get in contact one of my people getting tired,
20:56
contact with doctor Lisa Williams. And this, this is what she's going
21:00
to be getting, Doctor Lisa Williams. You're gonna get a copy of Open
21:04
Your Gifts. It is a book on forty two lessons on finding embracing your
21:08
blessings in disguise, and it was written by myself as well as actress and
21:15
comedian Kim Coles. I will sign it and I'll get it over to you
21:18
as soon as I can. Thank you so much to everybody who participated inside
21:22
of this raffle who continues to watch, follow, share, and be a
21:26
part of our network. Thank you so much. We're gonna continue with this
21:33
right now. And my next question for you guys is do you believe couples
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who live together before marriage have more of a satisfying and longer lasting marriage than
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couples that don't. No, I personally don't believe in living with someone before
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marriage. That's not what we're called to do. So um, I mean
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to each his own, you know, whatever work for them, But for
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us no we um, we didn't. We didn't live together until March sixteen,
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two thousand and two. You know all right now, um uh no
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um. In my opinion, we believe that it's best to wait, you
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know what I'm saying. And uh if that, if the person really truly
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means something to you, you'll wait on you know, you'll fight for him.
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And let me tell you something, when you when you truly love somebody,
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it's worth the wait. And in the ass, it asks a fire.
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It kindles a fire in your marriage, you know. Um, when
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you wait, when you know you waited to get to that moment, when
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you know you waited to have your spouse, you know, it kindles a
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greater fire and a greater love and a greater romance in the relationship because you
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you know, you know what you went through together, right, And it's
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one of those things that they're saying, say louder for the people in the
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back. Yeah, many things a couple must think about. Women making a
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life together. From where you're going to live? Who who will take charge
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of the cooking and whether you're going to have kids. But there's another major
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decision couples must make before they get marriage, and that seeking premarrit to counseling
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to prevent divorce later in the marriage. Should couple seek premarat to counseling?
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Do you think do you think it's trouble ahead. I think it's I think
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it's helpful because it kind of helped you m keep things in check. It's
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like accountability. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So when you when
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you go and get that premarried a counseling, it's kind of like accountability to
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make sure that you're doing all the right things that you're checking off the list
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to make sure you're gonna have a prosperous marriage and relationship. Now, marriage
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counseling don't necessarily fix everything or guarantee nothing, but it is helpful because most
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of the time when people are giving you premarried a counseling, they're really hitting
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on those things that you should be in conversation and communication about before you say
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I do to anything. Hey man, how do you feel about that?
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The little Jones? I agree wholeheartedly with mister Powell. We did, we
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went through that. Yeah, the pastor that married us. He took us
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through that and he said he feels like if it wasn't if he wasn't ready
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for us to get married, he said, he wasn't gonna married us.
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But we did what we had to do. He prayed, He was like
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congratulations. Yeah, he gave us like like blamework assignment basically blessing sty because
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some people will just marry somebody just to say that they married somebody. But
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you knows, and he gave you, he gave you his blessing, right,
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yeah, because he said if he didn't feel like we said, if
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we wasn't ready, we would have had to go somewhere else to get married.
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He wasn't gonna do it. And you know some couples would do that,
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They would just had some place house because nobody's gonna tell them what they
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can do. My thing, premarital counseling if that you're going there to not
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what you call seek advice, but to make sure that you're both on the
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same page and you have that extra voice there that can reason with the both
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of you and they're not taking sides. So I think some people lose track
25:56
of what premarital counseling is all about and every time we come across uh people
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that's going to get married, you just tell them made see counting first before
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you before you just first. Yeah, some people jump right into the shallow
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water book, right right. Yeah. Some say the reason for most divorces
26:22
is infidelity or financial issues, when the major cause of marriage breakdown is poor
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communication. How important is communication in the marriage? Is it more important than
26:33
trust? Love and honesty? Communication is definitely very very important. Uh,
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let's say love first, because if I'm loving you from you know, the
26:47
right perspective, then you know I'm gonna communicate. You know, I'm gonna
26:52
communicate with you, you know, So love and then communication. You know,
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communication is definitely key because the moment communication is not there, that does
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nothing but open up, open up, you know, the opportunity for the
27:07
enemy to get into our ear, you know, as soon as something happens.
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Yeah, we may need a moment, but we have to get back.
27:11
We have to communicate on every level, you know, to keep the
27:15
enemy out of the mix. He's quite busy, always busy, always trying
27:21
to interfere. How about you, what do you think about that? Oh?
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I think communication is key because without that, what do you have.
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There's two people looking at each other. I mean, I know you understand
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we love each other, talking enough, talking things out of If somebody's going
27:41
through something, we talk about it, you know, like she's in this
27:45
power said that gives an opportunity for the enemy to come in, you know,
27:49
that little devil on your shoulder and in your ear saying this that in
27:56
the third and hey, yeah, the mad for no reasoning nothing. Do
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you believe love is a decision and not an emotion? Yeah, I think
28:11
it's the emotion emotion, But I also think that people confuse love and lust.
28:18
Um. Yeah, I never thought about it that way, being line
28:25
between love and lust, and a lot of people confuse them two. Um,
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they operate with their body instead of with their heart and their soul.
28:33
Interesting. Interesting, How do you feel powers? Um? Well, personally,
28:40
I think it's a little bit of both. Uh. I believe some
28:45
parts of it is emotion and some parts of it is a decision. Because
28:49
you have to make a decision to love somebody, You have to make a
28:52
decision to open up yourself to somebody and most them enough, love them and
28:59
embrace them. And so to me in that part. It is a decision.
29:03
Um, it's it's, it's, it's it's it's a decision to love
29:07
them even when you're not always happen with it's it's a whole decision, and
29:12
it is an emotion because when you're really loving on them, there's there there's
29:18
a warm warming that comes, there's an embracing that comes. There's there's you
29:23
know, and you get butterflies, you get you know you you know you
29:27
feel good when you loving on somebody. You know what I'm saying. You
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know I'm I'm always taking opportunities to love on her and talk to her,
29:37
and you know she'd be like, they you're making me blush, you're making
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me But that's my love language. Though I'm loving on her in that moment
29:45
when I'm making her blood, and that makes me feel good as a husband.
29:48
That she can feel not she can not only hear what I'm saying,
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she can feel what I'm saying. It's so important and it's so very when
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we reached that time in this show where we're gonna play a game and I'm
30:04
gonna play with both of my couples here. So what I need for you
30:07
to do is to grab some paper and a pen, and to not face
30:11
each other, something like the newly Wagged game. So you're gonna have yourself
30:18
back to that or side to side where you can't see what the other one
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is writing. Turning, I lay, mister Powell. Come on now,
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and when you when you write it down, you're gonna have to show me
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your answer. Okay, you guys ready for the first one? Yeah,
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how did your spouse proposed to you? Let's put your hand up when you're
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done, not the hand with the paper, and it just okay, you
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got missus little John, you got miss missus Powell. They're ready. H
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m hm Okay, mister Powell's done. Mister little John is still right and
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go ahead. No, it's just I'm done. You're good, all right,
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mister Powell. How did you propose to your wife? U? P
31:47
I put? I proposed at a Bible study after service, Miss Powell.
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Show your paper. Just that's the match on one knee. All right?
32:07
This this the little John? How did you propose to your wife? We're
32:12
at a restaurant and this might sound crazy, but it was nine eleven when
32:21
those planes crashed into those buildings, and I was like, well if it
32:25
was like that time that it did where I want to be married before we
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you know, basically we out of here. So I we got home and
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I told him. I got on one knee and I was like, look,
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I want to be married before anything transpired of you know, these might
32:44
be in our last days, but I want to be married for anything.
32:47
You know. Let me see your answer in a restaurant. Okay, one
33:00
good, miss Lucas said. Her husband said, she kidna tell me,
33:07
you kidna tell me? Oh my, all right here the second one?
33:13
What was one of the things your spouse promised you during your vows and your
33:19
spouse kept that promise today? Just say one thing? Now you may promised
33:29
a whole lot, but what we just need one thing? He uh no
33:45
talking? Come on, turn around, miss a little John. I wanted
33:52
something. If you get distill something, you can spell it wrong. It
33:55
does. It's okay, little title to the Little Mistakes and nobody can't man
34:02
put your hand up when you're done. Okay. The women is always so
34:07
quick to be finished. And you guys really gotta put some thought into this.
34:12
Yeah, y'all gonna get it when this is over. That's what I'm
34:14
talking about. There, we got, missus Little John's done. Mister Powell's
34:21
thinking. Yeah, I want to make sure that I got all of those
34:22
in there. Okay, So now I'm gonna put it on the women,
34:30
Miss John. What was one of those promises that he made during your vows
34:36
that he kept today that he would love me through sickness and health? But
34:42
you got, mister little John paper, sickness in health? Hey, all
34:49
right, come on, come on, miss Powell. What you got through
34:52
sickness and in health? Mister Powell, there we go. Hey, all
35:07
right, I'm not finished with you guys yet. And one word what would
35:15
you consider to be mutual love? One word? Just put it on your
35:19
paper? Turn around, no looking, one word? One word? What
35:29
would you consider to be mutual love? Look at you? This power?
35:42
She already? Good ahead, miss little John. See it's the women again.
35:49
Come on, man, now I'm gonna get I'm gonna get one that
35:53
I know. The men is gonna answer real quickly, and you ladies better
35:59
be ready for work. It's little John you okay, okay, what you
36:10
got for me? Mister little John? What's that one word that means mutual
36:15
love? Togetherness? Okay? What you got over there? Trust, trust,
36:28
He come on with power? What you got? Mindfulness? What you
36:31
got, mister Powell, communication and honesty. It doesn't matter, it's still
36:40
good. Okay, here we go. When your spouse has their me time,
36:46
what do they like doing? So? What do miss little John like
36:57
doing? Mister little John, Miss so John, what do he like doing?
37:02
Same thing for you? The Powells, mhm, look at him.
37:15
I'm proud of you, more proud of you. I told him, you'll
37:22
I have one where the men was gonna finish first readily, powerless stuff I
37:29
had, John, I see that hand up? Come wan Powell. Have
37:34
y'all been together for a while? There we go. I knew you had
37:36
it in you. Okay, mister Powell. What you got? Uh?
37:40
For her? It's reading and studying? What's on your paper? You want
37:46
me to show you? No? I want I want this power to tell
37:50
me what she got. What is it that you like doing? Singing and
37:55
worshiping? Okay? Hey, hey got a single? Didn't think? Okay?
38:00
So what about mister Powell? Um, I want miss Power to answer
38:07
that question? Said again. When your spouse has his knee time, what
38:12
is he like doing? Oh? I thought that's what we were saying,
38:15
that's what I was singing and worshiping. That's what he likes doing. What
38:19
do you got, mister Powell for her? I put reading and studying,
38:22
okay, miss mister little John. But missus little John like doing with time.
38:34
Oh my guys, And I'm tell you good. I like you like
38:39
doing for him. He likes buying Jordan's. I seen some of your photos
38:47
too, love that red and black. Okay, I got a bonus question
38:52
for you, guys. You ready now you don't have to write it down.
38:59
I just want to you shouted out. If you can go back to
39:04
any year in your marriage, which year would you choose? And why I'm
39:15
on to a count to three and y'all just say it one, two,
39:20
three, two thousand and nine. But yeah, how twenty two? Now?
39:29
What was so special about that year? Um? For us? Uh,
39:35
twenty twenty started building? Twenty twenty two is when we really started building,
39:40
you know, the foundation of our relationship and really becoming like established,
39:46
and we became you know friends, you know, we we really like best
39:52
friends, you know, like this this is my real life friend, this
39:54
mom, my partner, this my this my girl R and my wife,
40:00
my homie and what I'm saying this, this the one person that I'm just
40:08
about trust with everything, you know. Um, And we grew to that
40:13
point, we grew to that love of honesty and which you know, I
40:17
was very intentional and getting to know her. I was very intentional with her
40:23
and even expressing myself and being transparent and telling her who I was because I
40:30
have learned from past situations and relationship that that is. So it's so important
40:36
because you want people to have a fair chance on knowing who you really are,
40:39
you know what I'm saying, And and you know, knowing who you
40:44
really are and being able to embrace you and accept you who you are.
40:46
You know, because if you just make believe person, it's just not gonna
40:50
work because it's not being built on sincerity and reality is being built on fakeness
40:55
and fantasy and and and I'm like, you know, if I'm gonna be
41:00
married, I'm gonna be me. How many gifts have you been one?
41:07
One year? Oh, you've been married for a year. Yes, we
41:12
just actually congratulations look at us, you know, like Rudy ye last Sunday,
41:24
Oh my gosh, yes one yeah? Wow? Alright, little John
41:29
Jo I'm neute give it to me. For me, you can go back.
41:38
It was our seventh year, um, two thousand and nine. Yeah,
41:45
we were married seven years. UM. For me, what was important
41:49
about that was a lot of people didn't think we'd make it. Um.
41:52
We had a lot of people talking against us and you know, putting us
41:59
down and you know, just speaking negative things and we survive year seven.
42:05
I mean you know that year. So that was important year. How many
42:10
years you celebrating now twenty one? See now you can say nay, say
42:17
that. I can't tell, right, but it hasn't been easy, but
42:27
we put in the work. Hey, it's worth My big is this is
42:36
our this is our kingdom right here, this is queen and nothing outside that
42:42
door you come ever coming in your house, no matter what it is,
42:47
um, Because you're gonna have people that are going to hate on your relationship
42:53
for one reason or another, and they are going to smile in your face
43:01
and talk behind your back, and you gotta be prepared to ignore, ignore
43:08
the noise, um, because it will come. Um. There's gonna be
43:14
times where you're gonna look at each other and you know, believe it or
43:17
not, you're gonna be like yo, I'm i don't know what else to
43:22
do. But then that's when you seek God. Um, go to him,
43:29
talk to him. You know, he's never going to tell you the
43:34
wrong thing or you know, tell you to do the wrong thing. So
43:37
I mean, it's worth but it's worth it. And if you can't communicate,
43:44
and this is me, if you can't communicate, write it down,
43:46
hold it up, give it to each other. We yeah, we still
43:50
write letters over here. When we were we were writing letters, So we
43:54
still write letters. Come up that we're not talking, write letters to another.
44:00
We'll go out several ways, read it, write something, bring it
44:04
back out. And well, I got congratulations pouring into both couples. What
44:14
advice would you give to someone getting ready to take that next step of they're
44:20
engaged it said they and they're getting ready to get married. What advice would
44:23
you get how you just got married? To hear? What advice would you
44:28
give somebody else that's just getting made it go into that? Um My,
44:35
my advice would be, you know, do things together, you know,
44:40
build together, because I believe what you do before marriage it's once going to
44:49
prepare you after marriage. You know what I'm saying. And so if you
44:52
don't know if you have to establish certain things, certain habits, certain foundations
44:59
before or you say I do before you get married, that when you do
45:05
become married, those are not the things that it's snared or snary your relationship
45:09
because, to be honest, the enemy is always looking for a loophole.
45:15
You know what I'm saying. He's looking for a way in to give you
45:19
a reason to walk away, to leave, to to to use that D
45:22
word. I ain't gonna say it, but you know so you don't want
45:27
to give no place to the enemy. And you know that's not to say
45:30
that you're not or ever have disagreements or misunderstanding. It does happen, you
45:37
know what I'm saying. And that's why communication is so important. That when
45:39
you have those moment that you take a moment and you believe and then come
45:44
back together and say, Okay, let's talk this out. Let's talk this
45:46
over and figure out what happened, what went wrong, you know, and
45:52
say I would say to me, I would say, my advice is get
45:57
on the same page, do things together. Um, don't worry about trying
46:02
to break the bank or break each other pockets, trying to have a big,
46:07
old spectacular marriage. That's only gonna last for one day or for a
46:10
few hours. You know. The more important thing is what you do after
46:15
that moment, you know what I'm saying, and and and and making sure
46:21
that you're putting each other in a position that after the marriage, that after
46:24
the honeymoon, you can still live for well, you know what I'm saying,
46:29
because you know we we we got forever from there, you know,
46:31
and as a song say forever. It is a long time. Yeah,
46:37
she likes writing letters. She says this is a way for each person to
46:42
digest what you were saying without a quick rebuttal Yes, the Pollens was saying,
46:46
what does you take on that? What advice would you get it saying
46:50
you've been married for twenty one years, something's working. What advice would you
46:52
get for me? Um, like be like and I heard my kids say
47:00
that, um, life be life. And and with that being said,
47:06
UM, things are gonna come your way that is designed to destroy you.
47:13
Um. However, when we got together, UM, we discussed the fact
47:20
that we don't believe in divorce. UM. You know, I believe that
47:25
all things can be worked through UM talked out UM, and UM. Communication
47:36
is big over here, like we got to talk to each other and not
47:40
talk at each other. Um, you gotta here to to listen and not
47:47
to respond. And you got to be fair about what's you know, what
47:52
your partners saying. Even if you don't agree, you got to at least
47:57
hear them out. That is so important. And somebody at once told me
48:01
about two words that they spelled a life that they and they mean the same
48:07
thing if you think about it, and that is silent and listen right.
48:14
You to the letters in there, you understand. And I think that is
48:17
so important in a marriage. Right to be and to listen right, and
48:24
you would gain so much from that. I want to think both my guests
48:30
Rico and LaToya Latanya don't know why I'm calling you so I gave you a
48:34
new name the time everybody, I apologize, y'all, Joshua and Tea Power
48:37
for joining us tonight and for sharing their magic with us. I appreciated so
48:43
much. I do. Are two of the most important words you're outther in
48:47
your entire life. They are timeless, solemn, and life changing. They're
48:52
the foundation of the next fifty plus years of your life together with the person
48:57
you love. Marriage is a covenant or is it a contract. A contract
49:01
is an agreement that meets the requirements of the law between two or more parties.
49:07
It clearly outlines the mutual obligations of both parties involved. Also, it
49:13
spells out the consequences where either of the parties violate the turns of the contract.
49:19
A contract has the effect of binding the parties legally, so as marriage
49:23
a contract. You decide, tune into Basic Black after Dark on July seven,
49:30
when we will be speaking with Paige Johnson, a domestic violence survivor and
49:35
an advocate. Don't forget to light. Follow and subscribe to the Crew podcast
49:40
Network. This is Black Diamond, your host of Basic Black after Dark,
49:45
where we bring you a safe and relaxed space where you can engage openly in
49:50
Candidate after eight after Dark. Thank you, guys, You're welcome Basic Black
49:59
after on our new podcast show with your host, Black Diamond m HM.